All language subtitles for The Young Offenders.s03e01.Episode 10

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,560 This programme contains strong language. 2 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:09,800 CONOR: Ever since Star has been born, 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,400 Jock has been noticing a distinct lack of trust. 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,920 Are you fucking going to let me hold her by myself? 5 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:18,360 Not since the drop incident. It was a near drop incident. 6 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,920 Yeah. Burp her. I am burping her. 7 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,160 That's not how you burp her. It's hard to burp her right 8 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,480 when you're all watching me. 9 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,160 There. See? 10 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,000 Oh! 11 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,760 Ah! Ah! Ah, Janey! 12 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,160 Oh! 13 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,960 Never again. 14 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,960 Would you relax! 15 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,880 I dropped Conor loads when he was small. And sure, look, he's grand. 16 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,440 If you could sell this stuff, you'd make a fortune. 17 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,640 I need to go to the toilet, Orla. Can you take over? 18 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,520 Mama's here. 19 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,000 All right. It's just until she can walk. 20 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,440 Twist your arm. I'll twist your arm all right. 21 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,600 You! Get into the van. 22 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,080 Look, I had this dream about how to make a load of money, 23 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:12,440 and you two were in it. So get in before I make ye get in. 24 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,000 I really... Come on! Fuck. 25 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,640 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 26 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,360 This plan came to me in a dream. 27 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,800 It was like someone whispered it in my ear. 28 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,440 And whoever it was also whispered, 29 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,120 "Get Conor and Jock to help." 30 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,200 Aren't you going to ask me what the plan is? 31 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,960 Erm... 32 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,800 What is your plan, Billy? 33 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,480 Well, I'm glad you asked me that, Jock. 34 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,080 And I have for you three words. 35 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,600 Fuck ing heist. 36 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,720 A heist? Like in the films, with fucking banks and casinos 37 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,280 and shit? Yeah. But there's going to be no casinos, no banks. 38 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:07,040 There's just going to be a shitload of TVs. 39 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,120 You have our attention. Continue. Aye, yeah. 40 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,600 This is the plan. 41 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,400 What, make two bricks fuck each other? 42 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,800 No! D'ye see that store there? 43 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,680 Well, I've been watching it for weeks. 44 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,400 Oh, and d'ye see that truck driver up there? 45 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,320 His name is Paul. 46 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,160 This Tuesday, at approximately 1pm, 47 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:37,920 Paul will be dropping off a shitload of TVs to that very store. 48 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,320 He's going to go behind there, he's going to open up his door 49 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,080 and unload a load of televisions. 50 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:48,280 But this Tuesday, he's going to get a phone call from his girlfriend. 51 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,920 So he'll be distracted away from the TVs. All right. 52 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:57,000 Then, I'm going to reverse this van up to the back of his truck. 53 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,200 The bricks are the vans! And I'm going to unload 54 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,320 those very expensive televisions into the back of our van 55 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,400 without being seen, 56 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,960 and then I'm going to drive off down the road. 57 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:14,640 Yeah, I know, it's not a great idea. No, no! 58 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:17,680 Billy, I... I think for once, you might have actually 59 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,440 come up with something that's going to work. Serious? 60 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,600 Well like, the way I was thinking it, 61 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,280 I'm more of a disorganised criminal, 62 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,520 and ye, ye're more of, like, organised criminals. Yeah. 63 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,080 So I was thinking, you know, 64 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,680 ye could be the brains of the operation. 65 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,480 Well, if you're looking for the brains of the operation, 66 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,320 then you came to the right place, like. 67 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,520 All right, let's do it, boy! Yes! 68 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,240 Jock, you're in luck. You're going to get to look after Star 69 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,920 for the whole day. Really?! Mm-hm. 70 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,440 Well, is your... is your da OK with that? 71 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,200 I'm super OK with that. 72 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,240 Why is he in a good mood? Did you get sent that video 73 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,880 of the principal that's going around? The one where he's caught 74 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,200 wanking in the woodwork room? 75 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,280 Oh, yeah, yeah, but I deleted that. 76 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,080 I..I only watched it a few times and it was funny and then... 77 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,160 ..then I just realised I was watching an old fella 78 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,040 having a wank. 79 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,240 Well, your man was due to get a Best Principal award. 80 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,760 Barry was the only other principal available at such short notice to travel to Dublin. 81 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,840 So they've given him the award instead. 82 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,280 And me and the girls are going to tie in a shopping trip. 83 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:23,400 It would be nice if you came along and showed some support. 84 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,720 Just saying. Larry, it's a four-hour ceremony. 85 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,200 Fuck that! 86 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,400 We got this, OK? You just enjoy the ceremony. 87 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,040 We got Star covered for the day. 88 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,080 We'll pencil you in for, eh, Wednesday? No, tomorrow. 89 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,640 The ceremony's tomorrow. Tomorrow? Right. 90 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,960 Eh... Yeah, no, tomorrow, you have to... No. 91 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:47,360 Eh, myself and Jock have, eh, a prior engagement. 92 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,960 What's more important than looking after Star? 93 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,680 Tomorrow? Yeah, no, we can do tomorrow. 94 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,320 Aye. We can do it, yeah, don't worry. Let's do it. I promise you. 95 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,880 You fuck this up and I'll never trust the pair of you with her ever again. 96 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:05,760 Have you got it? Yeah. 97 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,240 Yeah? Right. 98 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,400 Tomorrow. I can't wait. 99 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,240 Doing a heist with a baby is pretty much like walking on the moon. 100 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,920 Not many people in the world can say they've done it. 101 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,160 Look at that baby, huh? My baby. That's Con's baby. 102 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,240 Everything you need is in this bag. 103 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:29,440 Oh, no love, I'm not to be there. I'm going to work. What?! 104 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,160 Shite! Don't look! It's fine. 105 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:36,760 That's just a doll. Don't worry about that. 106 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:40,840 OK! Well, call me if anything really bad happens. Bye, luvvie! 107 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,520 Eh, don't worry. Nothing really bad's going to happen. 108 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,200 Eh, it'll be fine. 109 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,840 I know. 110 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,360 Are you going to miss me? Eh... 111 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:01,000 My knob is, like, red raw, so, eh, 112 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,560 I could do with a break. 113 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,360 I figured that was a reasonable request, 114 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,760 because me dick has been doing split shifts ever since 115 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,200 meself and Linda broke each other's virginity. 116 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,000 Ah, it's only 24 hours. I don't even care, I'm not going to miss you 117 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,480 when I'm gone anyway. Yeah, yeah. 118 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,000 Yeah? Only a day. Yeah. 119 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,400 Have a good time, yeah? Come on. 120 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,200 It's lovely. Bye! Bye-bye. 121 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,840 Say bye to Mammy, look. Bye-bye. 122 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:33,920 Say, "S'later". S'later. 123 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,120 All right, Mam's gone, now we're going to have some fun, aren't we? 124 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,440 See you at stage one. What's stage one again? 125 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:49,200 Just pick us up and bring us to town, all right? 126 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,320 What the fuck is that? It's a baby. 127 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,200 I know it's a fucking baby. What's it doing here? 128 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,520 Her mam is in Dublin for the day, so she's coming with us. 129 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,640 No fucking way! It's not a proper heist if one of the gang members 130 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,360 has a baby! We're bringing her as cover. 131 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,840 No-one's going to suspect three dads in a heist. 132 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:09,240 Right? Oh, that's good, that's good! 133 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,560 Brains, boy, brains! 134 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:18,080 This thing is like a fucking Rubik's Cube! Siobhan said there's a button. 135 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,840 Then it just folds up. There's loads of fucking buttons! Here, give me a go! 136 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,640 Clip, clip, lift! Clip, clip... 137 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,680 Here. I have it. I have it. 138 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,400 Why... Billy! 139 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:34,200 Jesus, you're going to break the pram! Billy! Billy! 140 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,920 Fucking thing! 141 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,960 You just broke the fucking thing. 142 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,520 Well, you can take it out of my share, OK? 143 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,720 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't put her into the front of the van. 144 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,080 Do you want to be drawing attention to us, or what? 145 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,520 What do you suggest, then? Strap her onto the roof. 146 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,600 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a great idea. 147 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,080 You do realise it's saying things like that that make people think 148 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:01,200 you're fucking mental? I was joking. 149 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,720 The way Jock sees it, the best way to get good at something, 150 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:11,160 like minding a baby, is do it alongside the most difficult thing you can think of. 151 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,800 There. She's safer now than in any car. Right. 152 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,440 We're good here! Hit the road! 153 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,720 And what's more difficult than a heist? 154 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:27,040 Are ye all right? Slow the fuck down! It's not the getaway. It's the get-to! 155 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,560 Fucking A! 156 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,680 Oh, boy, I'm staring to question if bringing a baby on a heist 157 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,800 is a good idea or a fucking stupid idea. 158 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,120 Will you just relax, will you? Look, that's the worst of it over now. 159 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,560 We'll have the job done in an hour and then we'll have her back 160 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,880 watching Peppa Pig on a state-of-the-art 50 inch 161 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,800 plasma screen TV, won't we? 162 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,200 Billy, you've got to go and make sure the coast is clear, right? 163 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,960 Oh, Daddy's going to bring all your stuff as well, 164 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,240 so if we get in any trouble, we can... 165 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:23,880 Here. 166 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:28,360 OK. Are you ready? Let's steal some TVs! 167 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,440 Let's steal some TVs! Don't tell anyone now. 168 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,160 Don't be a snitch. OK, don't tell Mammy. 169 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,840 Jesus! Fuck! Billy, he's fucking over there. 170 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:45,160 These binoculars are really good. You're in the middle of the footpath. Somebody walking... 171 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,520 Listen to me for a second, OK? Listen to me for a second. 172 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,560 If somebody's coming down this hill you're going to force them out into the road and get them killed. 173 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,800 Oh, our cover's blown. What are we going to do now? 174 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,440 Look, abort the plan, get the van, burn it, head for the hills! 175 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,360 Come here, come here! Right, look, stop panicking. 176 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,680 It's fine. 177 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,040 See, look, he's leaving already. There's no problem. 178 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,040 What if he comes back? That's what's genius about your plan, remember? 179 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:16,080 If he does, all he's going to see is a van parked up against a truck, OK? 180 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,480 He's not going to know we're in the back getting rich off TVs. Exactly. 181 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,520 Are you going to be able to hold your shit together now? 182 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,720 Sure, just give me a light! No. 183 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,360 There's no smoking lit cigarettes around the baby. 184 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,840 We won't, don't worry, we won't. Not yet. 185 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,160 No. When you're older. 186 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,680 Come on. 187 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,040 Act natural. Right? Do you want to hold it? 188 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,960 You can hold it for a second. Just for a second, all right? 189 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,560 You can hold it for a second. Oi, no, no, no! 190 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:52,560 The only reason Daddy steals is so you can live a happy life. 191 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,880 Did one of ye stand in shit? 192 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,440 Wait... 193 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,720 It wasn't me. It wasn't me. 194 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,360 Well, it's hardly me! 195 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,040 It wasn't her. 196 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,840 She just took a massive shit back at the house before we left. 197 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,520 It smells like baby shit to me. What does baby shit smell like? 198 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:12,360 Well, it smells like somebody who's only ever after drank milk took a shit. 199 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,720 Give her a sniff there. Why, why am I the sniffer? 200 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,160 Just give her a sniff. I'm not... God, gee, Christ! 201 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:21,320 Yeah, no, yeah, it's her. Oh, bollocks! 202 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,200 Lads, he's here. 203 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,160 Get him to circle round, get him to circle round. Go around again. 204 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,240 Pick up that, erm, that thing from the bag and work out how that works. 205 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,880 Ah! 206 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,360 What's that for? It's a papoose. 207 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,800 What's a porpoise? A papoose! 208 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,160 It's not a dolphin. It's for carrying a baby. 209 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,840 Do you know what you're doing? Yeah, it's like a kangaroo... 210 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,640 Hold on, you need to pull that up. Ah! 211 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,000 Come on. 212 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,760 Jesus! 213 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,760 What's your mam feeding you, huh? 214 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:54,040 It's all wrong. You look like fucking Rambo or something. Look! 215 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,280 Mind your head there, now. All right. 216 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,000 There you go. OK. 217 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:07,120 Let's get this out. Here, here! Give us some privacy there. 218 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,880 Here, come here, come here! 219 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,560 Give us some privacy, yeah? Watch your head there. 220 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,880 There you go. Erm... Right, come on. 221 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,080 All right, here we go now, huh? 222 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,440 It's too tight! Put your arm in. 223 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,680 Your fucking arm, not... What are you doing to me, like?! 224 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,680 OK? All right. Yeah. Look at the bear. 225 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,600 Is she yours? Of course she's fucking mine. 226 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,680 Take a look at me, do you think anyone would trust me 227 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,480 with a baby that wasn't mine? "Is she yours?" 228 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,360 Oh, who's a stinky boo-boo? 229 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,320 The baby's teething, you know, just, eh... 230 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,320 That's it. Hold that. That's... That's good enough. 231 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,680 That's good enough. 232 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,960 Nice one. Cheers. Cheers, lads. There we go! 233 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,920 Oh, you're sneezing! 234 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,640 You're sneezing! There you go. Bless you. 235 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,440 Oh, nice one, lads! Ta-da! Look at that! 236 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,680 It's time... 237 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,960 ..to call Paul. 238 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,880 Paul has the contact saved as me girlfriend on his phone, 239 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,440 just in case anyone checks his recent calls. 240 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,160 Star's hungry. She must have an empty stomach 241 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,480 after all that shitting. I just need to give her a quick feed. 242 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,520 Ah, for fuck's sake, she's not getting a share if she keeps slowing us down. 243 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,680 What do you mean, she's not getting a share? 244 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,600 What's she doing here, so? 245 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,880 Siobhan's left a note. 246 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,320 "Ster... 247 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,760 "Steril... 248 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,480 "Steril-ise... 249 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,400 "Sterilise the bottle." 250 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:44,640 Sterilise the bottle? What does that mean, sterilise the bottle? 251 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,640 Sterilise... Oh, do you remember that kid in school that was adopted 252 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,320 cos his dad was sterilised? 253 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,360 Everything in his ball sack was dead? 254 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,400 So we need to kill everything inside the bottle? 255 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,800 How are we going to do that? You need to pour boiling water on it. 256 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,960 I used to do it to everything in prison. Just to play it safe, like. 257 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,520 Right. Sure, that place sells kettles. 258 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,800 You call Paul, all right? We'll be back in five. 259 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,760 PAUL'S MOBILE RINGS 260 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,360 The girlfriend. Hello, sweetheart. 261 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,560 HIGH PITCHED VOICE: Oh, hello, Pauley-wauley! 262 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,080 How are you, my little petal? 263 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:30,080 I just wanted to talk to you. I miss your voice. 264 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,640 I miss you too. It's so... it's so nice to hear your voice too. 265 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,680 I'll go and check. Cheers. 266 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,920 Star, here's your bottle now, right? 267 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,840 Look, we have a little minor delay there at the moment. 268 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,760 That's no bother. I'll... I'll drop it along. 269 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,480 I have... I have it for you in the van. 270 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,120 It's there for you, love. Don't worry about it. 271 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,920 Chow mein, your favourite. 272 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,680 I love you. Just keep talking. 273 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,080 BABY CRIES 274 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,080 I know, I know! I know! 275 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,560 Hey, look - what's that? What's that? Oh, yeah. 276 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,960 Ah, shite! 277 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,760 TENSE MUSIC PLAYS 278 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,520 You can't be doing that. It's just hot water. 279 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:30,600 It's sterile. Go on, sell some jars. 280 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,280 The most annoying thing about that prick Sergeant Healy is, 281 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,680 once he's got his nose up your hole, he never gives up. 282 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,960 Just ask me mam. 283 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,840 Come on, Mairead, please just... just get back with me. 284 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,400 Fuck off! 285 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,920 You are nothing without me. Fuck off! 286 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,640 Mairead, erm, I may have called you last night, and, erm... 287 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:49,920 Fuck off! 288 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,600 Well, I meant every word I said, you ungrateful bitch. 289 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,120 Fuck off! I'm begging you, Mairead, I just... 290 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,840 ..I love you so much. Fuck off! 291 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,960 At least when Healy was dating me mam, 292 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,160 he wasn't sniffing around our holes. 293 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,480 That prick Tony was calling me ten times a day, 294 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,840 and now he hasn't called me in, like, two days. 295 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,880 Like, what's his fucking buzz? 296 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,720 I bet you he's playing hard to get. 297 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,480 But, like, he's the one chasing me. 298 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,640 I am not chasing him. 299 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,680 So, it's just not going to work, like. 300 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,440 I wouldn't call him if I were you, anyway. You're wasting your time. 301 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,760 I won't. 302 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,000 PHONE RINGS 303 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,720 Fuck's sake. 304 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,120 Yeah, what do you want? 305 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,920 Well, nothing from you, that's for fucking sure. 306 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,360 Oh... 307 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,480 Bollocks! 308 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,240 There's only so much flirting I can do with Paul 309 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,360 before he expects to ride. 310 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,840 What are you wearing right now? 311 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,800 She won't drink it. 312 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,160 Well, you have to give it to her like a boob. 313 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,080 Like a boob? 314 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,480 Look, it's there. 315 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,600 There. Look, look. 316 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,720 Here, look, it's a booby. 317 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,440 Hang on, I've got an idea. 318 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,520 What are you doing with that? Get away from me. 319 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,840 Oh-ho-ho, oh, geez, no. 320 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,680 Relax. I'm going to cut a hole in your T-shirt. 321 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,840 What? We'll make it look like a booby. 322 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,200 Give him the child. 323 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,680 Hiya. Hi, Star. Hi... 324 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,000 BABY GRIZZLES 325 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,000 That's a good baby. 326 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000 Cut a hole in your top, all right? 327 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,480 All right, just be careful. This is like old times, man. 328 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,840 Watch my eyes, will you? What one's your booby? 329 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,520 No sudden movements. I don't want to hurt you. 330 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:49,880 There you go. 331 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,960 What did you think I was going to do to you? 332 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,840 Now, put the bottle through. 333 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,720 Right you are. 334 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,040 But you've got to put the milk through so she can see the milk. 335 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,040 There you go, a teat. 336 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,240 It's Siobhan. 337 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,920 It's Siobhan, look at my boobies. 338 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,560 She doesn't know who Siobhan is. It's Mam. 339 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,040 What did I tell you, huh? 340 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:18,160 Now, let's go rob a shitload of TVs, huh? 341 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,280 OK, darling. 342 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,480 WHISPERS: Keep talking. Even if I don't reply, just keep talking. 343 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,440 Anything you say. 344 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,120 Hurry up, please. 345 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,480 But you're going to have to stay on the line, OK? 346 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,040 Billy...Murphy. 347 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,840 I've been speaking to people in the area, 348 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,760 and they said that you've been around here every day 349 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,000 for the past week with a pair of binoculars round your neck 350 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,480 looking suspicious. 351 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,120 What are you up to? 352 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,560 Bird-watching. 353 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,920 Yeah, bird-watching. 354 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,800 I'm looking at the, erm, the swallows outside. 355 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,200 They're... They're mating at the moment. 356 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,960 WHISPERS: Jock. Are there many swallows in here? 357 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,320 Jock. Come on. 358 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,080 What? What? 359 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,400 Oh, shit. 360 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,760 Star, look. Please, look. 361 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,120 We're just going to make you a little bed here, all right? 362 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,800 Cos we can't have you being seen, can we? 363 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,640 Right, I'll put you down here. BABY CRIES 364 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,200 You'll be OK. All right, OK. 365 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,720 Here you go. 366 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,000 Erm... 367 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,080 Where did you even get the binoculars, Billy? 368 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,680 I, erm... 369 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:29,720 ..rented them. 370 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,240 Yeah, where did you rent them from, then? 371 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,000 The fucking binocular shop. 372 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,400 HE LAUGHS 373 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,320 I'm not always on about work. 374 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,440 I-I-I, you know... 375 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:39,920 I-I care for you. 376 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,080 Hey... Hey, Jock? Yeah, I know, Conor, right? 377 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,360 Just give me a second while I'm thinking, yeah? But you're... 378 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,200 Conor, we just need to come up with a distraction. 379 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,280 Will you just help me think? Jock! What? 380 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,880 Where's Star? She's th... 381 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,440 Oh, shit. Star! 382 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,160 Star! 383 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,240 Star, Star. Come back. 384 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,120 HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE 385 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,880 I need to get Healy, I'm going to get Healy. 386 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,400 If you get Healy, the heist is over. 387 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,560 No, fuck the heist, man. Oh, for fuck's sake. 388 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,560 Billy, erm... 389 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,240 What are you two doing here? I was just shopping, cos... 390 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,120 No, what fucking difference does that make? 391 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,800 Listen, I can't find my daughter. 392 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,440 I'm after putting her down for two seconds, 393 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,800 she's after disappearing. OK, well, just keep calm, all right? 394 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:27,840 She can't have gotten far. 395 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,480 Well, unless she's been snatched, that is. 396 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,160 Er, Healy, you're not helping. 397 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,840 All right, when was the last time you saw her? 398 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,040 About three minutes ago, tops. 399 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,200 Three minutes ago?! 400 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,800 Yeah. 180 seconds?! 401 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,640 All right, well, as far as I can see, there are only three exits, 402 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,720 and we're looking at roughly 5,000 square feet of ground to cover. 403 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,560 You, stay here. I'm not finished talking with you, all right? 404 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,600 Split up. 405 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,240 That's a great distraction. Was that her idea or yours? 406 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,360 HE LAUGHS 407 00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,440 It's not a fucking distraction. She's lost. 408 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,800 Are we going to get back to the heist? 409 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:59,000 Will you shut up about the fucking heist and start looking for Star? 410 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,520 The fucking heist! 411 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,240 Stick with the story. OK. 412 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,080 Baby Star? 413 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,360 Conor, Conor... 414 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,360 PHONE VIBRATES 415 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,360 What, what? 416 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,400 What do I do? Siobhan's calling, what the fuck? 417 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,760 I promised I'd have my phone on me at all times. Er...well... 418 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,040 If you don't answer soon, 419 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,440 she'll know there's something wrong. Just... 420 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,840 Hiya! 421 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,160 How's it going? 422 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,640 Yeah, we're having a lovely day. Lovely. 423 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,480 Out of breath? No, I've just been... 424 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,640 Out of breath, been playing... Back at my house, yeah? Yeah. 425 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,480 Oh, you want... You want to talk to Star? Want to say hello? 426 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:37,880 Erm... W-Well, I can't see a reason why not, so... 427 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,600 How's... How's it going? 428 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,600 HE CRIES LIKE A BABY 429 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:50,000 Ah... What?! No, no, that is not Conor pretending to be Star! 430 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,640 Excuse me now! I have to go, yeah? 431 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,320 I have a baby to look after, you know, yeah? 432 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,600 "How's it going?" Are you fucking...? 433 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,520 She's eight months old, you f... I mumbled it! She can't speak... 434 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,800 Are you fucking drunk?! I don't know what babies say! 435 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,040 I don't know what babies say! 436 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,760 Star?! Star? 437 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,640 Star? Check all the... I checked... 438 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,400 I know that, love. I know. Sure, I know. 439 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,080 We'll make the breakfast in the morning. 440 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,400 Am I insane? What? We'll make the br... 441 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,120 Yeah, we'll make the breakfast in the morning, then, and a little bit 442 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,960 of toast on the side, you like your little butter then as well. 443 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,280 MUFFLED: Star? Star? 444 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,040 For fuck's sake! 445 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,840 Star? Star?! 446 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,920 Here. Now, look, it's fine. We'll find her, all right? 447 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,480 What's the matter, love? Is everything all right? 448 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,760 It's my daughter, Star... 449 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,600 My first day being allowed to mind her, 450 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,080 and I'm already after fucking losing her. Aw! 451 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,320 Bringing a child out of the house is one of the hardest things 452 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,040 you'll ever do in your life. Yeah, well, I f... 453 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,760 I fucking lost her. I'm the shittest fucking dad. 454 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,040 Oh, hey, hey, hey. Don't be so hard on yourself. 455 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,760 You're not the first parent ever to have lost a baby. 456 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,800 Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say. Have you ever lost yours? 457 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,960 Of course! Twice. 458 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,040 Once in the supermarket. 459 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,800 Overnight. 460 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,760 Really? 461 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:29,120 I, er, lost my toddler on the train to Dublin. 462 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,000 They found her in the toilet again. 463 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,440 And when I say she was in the toilet, I mean she was... 464 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:34,880 ..in the toilet. 465 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,960 Who else here has lost a child at some time or another? 466 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,440 VARIOUS: Yeah. Me. 467 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,480 So... So you're all... you're all shit parents. 468 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,680 All parents are shit parents at some time. 469 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,160 The key to it is to be the best parent you can, 470 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,480 the rest of the time. 471 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,200 And I can tell by the way you care about your baby Star 472 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:05,240 that that's what you are. A great parent. 473 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,920 I... Thanks. 474 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:12,160 Now, listen. Your baby is going to be around here somewhere. 475 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,400 And you just need to get up off your hole and go look for her, yeah? 476 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,560 Yeah. 477 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:21,360 And we'll all help. Yeah! Right? Right. Of course! 478 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,200 HE SIGHS 479 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,200 OK... 480 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,400 Attention, customers. 481 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,080 Stop what you're doing now and start looking for a missing baby. 482 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,360 Star? 483 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:30,440 If you find an unattended baby without the owner, 484 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,800 please bring it over to the customer service desk. Thank you. 485 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,680 Star...? Star? Star? 486 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:38,920 Star?! 487 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,320 I found one. 488 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:41,960 That's not my baby. 489 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,080 Star? Star? 490 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:46,360 That's my baby! 491 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,960 Shhh. 492 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,960 Star? Baby Star? I found one! 493 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,400 Over here! 494 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,880 Yeah? Star? 495 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,720 Star! Oh, gee. Oh, Star. 496 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,080 SHE GURGLES 497 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,080 Hiya! 498 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,480 You're OK! You're OK. I know, I know. I know, I know. 499 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:12,880 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 500 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,400 Seeing as Jock and me were the brains of the operation, 501 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,880 it was time for our brains to start operating. 502 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,760 Right, let's get this show on the road. I'll call Billy. 503 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,440 Right, we need you to get back to the shop now and distract Healy 504 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:24,760 for as long as possible. 505 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,920 Oh, thank God you found her. Oh! 506 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,880 And there's no sign of distress or physical harm or anything? 507 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,440 No, she's all right. Good. Thanks. 508 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,600 Isn't that Billy Murphy looking really suspicious? 509 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,920 Geez, I wonder what he's up to. You should check that out. 510 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,160 WHISPERS: We've got to go and take care of business now! 511 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,520 Oh, there you are. Billy, what are you doing here? 512 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,200 Well, you... You found the child, anyway. 513 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,640 That could have been a major incident. 514 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:58,960 HE CHUCKLES 515 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,560 Come here. Do you know, now, if I robbed this, right - 516 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,760 how much time do you think I'd actually get? 517 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,120 Put it down. 518 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:08,760 All right! 519 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,040 What about if I took this and this? 520 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,080 OK? 521 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,040 Now, what we're about to do now is what we call in our business 522 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,760 stock-taking, OK? 523 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,160 It's time to... 524 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,960 You know I have an issue with your mother. She's mean to me. 525 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,320 You know, the last time I called round, like, you know, 526 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,760 she just didn't make me welcome. 527 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,720 They all seem to be, like, lighting things, you know? For candles. 528 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,360 Candle burned out between yourself and Mairead, did it? 529 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:48,960 HE GIGGLES 530 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,200 Ooh! He's a bit sensitive to that. 531 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,680 I take you out every Friday night. 532 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,600 I took you out last week for... Look, I... Did I not buy you chips? 533 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,600 Getting a bit hot under the collar there, Healy. Ooh! 534 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:03,840 Do you like the longer motion or the slower motion? 535 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,880 I'm not. I'm tired of it. I'm a human too. 536 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,680 Would you say most people choose a life of crime, 537 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,520 or do they just fall into it? 538 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,400 But that's not my fault! I love you. Why, I... 539 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:16,840 We should be equals. 540 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:22,880 Bye, honey. 541 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,560 Oh, no! 542 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,720 It appears I've, er, been robbed! 543 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,120 Bollocks! 544 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:35,480 So what exactly happened? Well, where do I start? 545 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,640 The girlfriend rang me, I was on the phone to her, she rang me... 546 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,840 She rang... We talked, like, talking, and then I got distracted. 547 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:47,400 I... By the way, I love her. Gorgeous girl. Beautiful. Phew! 548 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,240 Great. Anyway, she rang me, right, 549 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,560 and I got distracted from my delivery duties, and I saw nothing - 550 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,640 I actually saw nothing. 551 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,840 Zero. Nothing. And then I just... 552 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,840 They must just have gone into thin air, like. 553 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,320 Keyser Soze! 554 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,880 The... The greatest trick the devil ever played is... 555 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,480 ..wasn't him at all. 556 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,600 Wish I could help you, but I was with you all the time. 557 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,760 Those TVs, eh? Shocking, isn't it? 558 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,320 Shocking altogether. 559 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:24,960 Ah! 560 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,280 Hi! Hi! 561 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,600 Didn't think you'd be the papoose type! 562 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,320 Aye, I actually prefer it. 563 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,720 Like having her closer. Suits him, doesn't it? 564 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,080 I didn't miss you. 565 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:42,600 I didn't miss you either. 566 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,280 Fine. Yeah, it's great. 567 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,520 Come on. OK, OK... 568 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,800 See, as long as you don't take her outside the house, 569 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,160 it's not that hard. Oh, yeah. I'll bear that in mind. 570 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,360 What's that, Jock? Yeah. I didn't say any...thing... 571 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,480 Oh, sure, you can read it if you like. 572 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,280 Barry Walsh, 573 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,440 Best Principal of the Year. 574 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,280 Oh, put it away! 575 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:12,800 You're embarrassing me. 576 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:16,720 Look at that! Oh! Your grandad won that. 577 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,240 Your grandad! Well done, sir. 578 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,840 Thanks. 579 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,800 And whenever you want to take your daughter out for the day, 580 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,320 just let us know. 581 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,920 Yes! Oh, we had a great day, didn't we? Did you? 582 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,280 I found it very relaxing. Very relaxing? Very relaxing. 583 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,120 CONOR: We heard them saying on the radio 584 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,920 that the best way to invest your money these days is in gold, 585 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,440 so that's where we put all our profit from the heist. 586 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,720 Sometimes televisions get a bad rap. 587 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,680 If you ask me, they actually bring people together. 588 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,480 Fair play to Jock for getting us that discount from his friend. 589 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,760 I know! Wouldn't get a TV anywhere at this price, 590 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,600 even if it fell off the back of a truck! 591 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,480 Siobhan? Are you joining us? 592 00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,560 What the fuck happened to my pram? Fuck's sake! 593 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:03,240 CONOR: And they go up pretty loud too! 594 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,400 Why the fuck is the back wheel missing?! 595 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,040 Yeah, all the way. 596 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,040 VOLUME GOES UP 597 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,680 And even if you don't have someone to share it with, 598 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,000 at least you can talk with the people inside the screen. 599 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,440 Ah, don't start crying. You'll have me crying and all in a minute. 600 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:20,160 Oh, great, now the floodgates have opened. 601 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,560 Definition on that TV is something else, isn't it? 602 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,600 Even when you lean closer, you still can't see the pixels. 603 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,640 I'm heading out for a walk with Star. See you later. 604 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,120 Bye. Later. 605 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,240 I can't believe you got it for such a big discount. 606 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,400 That TV looks perfect to me. 607 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,480 Aye, aye, just a... 608 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,080 ..just a scratch on the base. It's probably cosmetic. 609 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,520 PHONE BUZZES 610 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,000 Fuck off. 611 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,680 As for Jock, now that he's allowed to take Star out on his own, 612 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,640 the last thing he wants to do is sit in front of a television with her, 613 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,800 where everything she learns is from strangers inside a box. 614 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:11,000 I learned most of the things I know about life from listening to Jock. 615 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,320 Look, look! 616 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,040 I got you some gold with your share too! 617 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,040 And now Star is going to benefit from that same wealth of knowledge. 618 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,440 See that over there? That's the Shandon bells. 619 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,680 Do you see that weather vane feature on top of that? 620 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,400 It's made of gold. 621 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,400 Well, I'm just saying, 622 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,520 some day, someone might get ideas about that. 623 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:35,880 You see, Star? 624 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,080 Everywhere you look, there's opportunity. 77010

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