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"Rubin & Ed"
Subtitles by Magiin. August 2020.
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Are you willing to open the door
to your dreams?
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00:01:09,929 --> 00:01:12,431
Success!
- Success!
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00:01:13,791 --> 00:01:15,263
Why do we want that success?
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Money!
- Money!
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How do we get that money?
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Work!
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No, no, not work...
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Real estate!
- Real estate!
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Power through positive real estate!
The P-P-R! The organization!
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Yay!
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Do you have what it takes? Are you the kind
of high caliber motivated professional...
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00:01:53,486 --> 00:01:54,919
that will stop at nothing
to get what you want?
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Who are you?
Who are you?
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00:02:03,272 --> 00:02:07,166
You are an incredibly powerful
sales person who continually
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00:02:07,191 --> 00:02:10,435
climbs higher and higher
up the ladder of success.
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00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:15,437
Chant after me: "I am an
incredibly powerful sales person who
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continually climbs higher and
higher up the ladder of success!"
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00:02:20,538 --> 00:02:24,607
"I am an incredibly powerful
sales person who continually
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00:02:24,632 --> 00:02:28,349
climbs higher and higher
up the ladder of success!"
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00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:34,082
"I am an incredibly powerful
sales person who continually
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00:02:34,082 --> 00:02:37,866
climbs higher and higher
up the ladder of success!"
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00:02:37,941 --> 00:02:41,326
Success!
- Success!
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Boy that Mr. Busta sure can give a speech, can't he?
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Now chant along with me: I am an incredibly
powerful sales person who continually
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00:03:00,352 --> 00:03:02,873
climbs higher and higher
up the ladder of success...
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Wow!
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00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:56,282
Rubin! Stop squeaking that stupid mouse!
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I said stop squeaking
that stupid mouse!
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00:05:07,579 --> 00:05:10,627
Why don't you do something
else for a change. Why don't
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you get out of this house
and make yourself a friend!
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No!
- Yes!
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00:05:14,601 --> 00:05:17,413
No!
- Well then take out the trash.
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00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:29,836
Hey weirdo! Who let you out!
Here kitty, kitty, kitty...
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00:05:31,034 --> 00:05:33,934
Come 'n get me!
Ha ha ha!
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Here kitty, kitty, kitty...
Here kitty, kitty...
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- Hello?
Hello Rula this Ed... hi, hi... hello.
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Uh I hadn't called for a while so I thought
I'd call and say... hello.
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00:06:02,489 --> 00:06:05,216
Exercise Ed.
- Oh no, Rula, please.
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00:06:05,622 --> 00:06:08,115
You know why you feel
better when you exercise, Ed?
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Because you're doing something
you don't really want to do.
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I know, I know.
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You're paid in life for doing what
you don't really want to do, Ed.
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I know... I know.
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You always do exactly
what you want to do, Ed.
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That's why you're broke.
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Ya know, Rula... I uh... I haven't
talked to you in quite a while.
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00:06:31,319 --> 00:06:33,062
How are you doing?
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Great!
- Really?
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Well that's great. I'm great
too. I mean I'm doing great.
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Just, things are
going great for me uh...
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Gotta go now, Ed.
- Well, ok! No problem. Listen it's been...
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Woof! Bark, bark, bark!...
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That's it! No more Mahler.
Not another note until you
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get out of this house
and make a friend!
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00:07:23,124 --> 00:07:24,886
No!
- Yes!
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00:07:26,049 --> 00:07:30,729
It's for your own good, Rubin. You can't
stay in this house the rest of your life.
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Yes I can!
- No you can't!
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Why?
- Because I said so!
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Now go out and make yourself a
friend. Bring him home to dinner and
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I'll give you your music back!
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No friend, no music!
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I want you to meet my mother.
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Excuse me.
- Buzz off.
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Excuse me.
- No.
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Excuse me...
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Excuse me... hi, uh...
- Grrr!
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Excuse me. My name is Ed.
Who are you - who are you really?
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I'm making a survey for Power
Through Positive Real Estate...
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may I ask you a few questions?
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Are you 100% satisifed with your
earning potential 100% of the time?
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00:08:56,383 --> 00:08:59,028
Yep!
- You are...?
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00:09:00,099 --> 00:09:05,307
Are you 100% satisfied with your
life and or outside relationships?
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Yep!
- Really?
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Uh... If the answer to any of these
questions is not 100% yes...
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then come with me right now
for a free introductory seminar on
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Power Through
Positive Real Estate!
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Uh... I could go around dinner time?
Come over my house? Pick me up?
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I think that could be arranged... and
your name and address please?
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00:09:33,169 --> 00:09:38,194
Rubin Farr. Fontenoy Inn.
Room 71.
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Motel?
- My mother's the manager.
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00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:47,364
Very well then Mr. Rubin Farr
of the Fontenoy Inn, Room... 71.
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Your life... is about to take
a positive turn!
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I'll pick you up at 6.
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Got one!
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Enthusiasm!
Hello... how ya doing?! Hi.
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00:10:33,223 --> 00:10:38,118
Hello Rubin! What a tremendous day.
A fantastic day for real estate!
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What say we motor on over to
the seminar and get you started
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on the "Express to Success"?
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Nope. My mother's not here yet.
You need to meet my mother.
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00:11:15,211 --> 00:11:16,469
Quite a living room...
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00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:23,405
Quite a squeaky mouse.
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00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,531
Could I have a glass of water?
- No!
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00:11:50,994 --> 00:11:54,364
Actually I better be going.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!...
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Come on in the kitchen and have
a glass of water.
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This is quite a kitchen!
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Ice! Ice is nice...
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Ahhh!
...Good Lord, what the hell?!
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00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:35,244
I'm sorry, uh I wanted some ice.
I didn't realize... look...
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00:12:35,715 --> 00:12:37,244
I didn't do it.
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00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:43,374
Why don't you keep your hands off
other people's refrigerators?!
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00:12:49,066 --> 00:12:54,081
Listen you don't eat those things, do ya?
Because I could get sick eating cats.
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00:12:54,396 --> 00:12:55,910
It's a pet!
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00:13:04,111 --> 00:13:08,440
I know it's none of my business, but why do
you keep your pet in the freezer?
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I'm keeping him frozen until I find the
right spot to bury him.
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00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,874
Look, my mother just
called, she's going to be late.
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00:13:15,899 --> 00:13:18,289
I don't feel like going
to the seminar now.
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00:13:18,992 --> 00:13:21,608
In your frame of mind, I think the seminar
would be very good.
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00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:22,930
No!
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00:13:23,086 --> 00:13:25,556
Well look, tell you what.
We'll leave my business card,
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right here on the table that way
your mother will know where you went.
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No!
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00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:31,641
I drove all the way over here, I think the
least you can do...
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00:13:31,684 --> 00:13:33,009
Shut up!
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00:13:34,533 --> 00:13:38,158
You shut up you son of a bitch!
I'm sorry I didn't mean that...
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00:13:38,298 --> 00:13:40,300
Excuse me, I did not mean it.
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00:13:46,435 --> 00:13:50,009
I guess you're pretty broken up
about your cat?
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You had him for a long time?
- Yes.
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00:13:54,196 --> 00:13:58,433
Let's see, where could you bury him?
Don't have a yard so that's out.
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00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:01,117
Why don't you bury your cat at sea?
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00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:04,678
Cat's hate water.
- Well then we'll bury him out in the desert.
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00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,568
No car.
- Well then just get over it!
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00:14:06,658 --> 00:14:08,553
I mean, go on to the next step.
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00:14:08,687 --> 00:14:11,779
Set a goal, and obstacles
become opportunities!
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00:14:12,332 --> 00:14:14,887
Man you really need that seminar right now!
Let's go over there...
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00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:17,478
Get out of my house!
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00:14:17,478 --> 00:14:20,131
You know you really are an asswipe!
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00:14:20,131 --> 00:14:22,932
Sorry. I didn't mean that either.
I didn't mean to say that.
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00:14:23,156 --> 00:14:26,633
You have a car? You dropped my cat?
- Hmm?
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00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:31,101
You have a car.
- Yeah. Well... we go to the seminar first,
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00:14:31,126 --> 00:14:32,810
and then we bury your cat.
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00:14:32,811 --> 00:14:35,001
He'll defrost.
- Pack him in ice.
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00:14:37,254 --> 00:14:38,896
...That's a good idea, Ed.
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00:14:41,382 --> 00:14:43,033
I'll go get the cooler.
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00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:54,303
This car belongs to the organization.
Pretty nice, eh?
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00:14:54,930 --> 00:14:58,055
They let me borrow it
especially for this.
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00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:06,627
Hey! Uh, I'll drive.
Hey! What are you doing?! Hey!
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00:15:06,727 --> 00:15:08,429
Open the door!
Open!
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00:15:08,919 --> 00:15:11,454
Alright! This is an official car!
140
00:15:12,882 --> 00:15:14,332
No, no, no!
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00:15:15,237 --> 00:15:16,724
What do you think you're doing?!
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00:15:24,603 --> 00:15:26,117
Turn right.
Turn right!
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00:15:28,649 --> 00:15:29,952
Ok, uh, turn left!
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00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:35,899
Great. You're not really going to the
seminar, are you?
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00:15:35,912 --> 00:15:37,811
I'm not stupid, I know what you're up to!
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00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,584
We have to be back before
10 o'clock, ok?. We have to be...
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00:15:40,609 --> 00:15:42,262
back before the seminar's over.
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00:15:50,085 --> 00:15:53,980
I don't mind your driving, less work for
me if you do. I hate driving.
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00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:58,399
Just works out that it's less work for me,
more for you. You know what is...
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00:15:59,318 --> 00:16:03,123
really sad is that you don't realize
what you're missing.
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00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:06,319
You have the potential to be
rich, you know?
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00:16:07,415 --> 00:16:10,234
You know the number one difference
between you and a rich man?
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00:16:10,999 --> 00:16:12,982
He has money and you don't.
154
00:16:13,191 --> 00:16:17,262
If you're smart, you'd ask
yourself, "why?".
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00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:24,316
What is the matter with you anyway?
I mean, don't you want to be a success?
156
00:16:25,681 --> 00:16:29,241
I tell you, the difference between
a guy like me and a guy like you...
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00:16:29,266 --> 00:16:31,116
is that I've learned
from my mistakes.
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00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:36,613
I used to be really messed up. You know,
I had a bad temper, the seminar...
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00:16:36,613 --> 00:16:37,506
taught me how to control it.
- Would you shut up about that seminar!
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00:16:40,268 --> 00:16:42,928
You shut up you pissant son of a bitch!
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00:16:43,385 --> 00:16:45,717
Sorry! Didn't mean that.
162
00:16:49,032 --> 00:16:51,667
Hey listen, could you pull over.
I gotta see a man about a dog.
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00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:11,471
Where'd you get the beer?
- Store.
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00:17:15,089 --> 00:17:17,185
I guess I'll have one.
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00:17:23,873 --> 00:17:28,826
You know, we don't drink beer at the
organization. It's kind of a crutch for...
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00:17:28,826 --> 00:17:30,173
reality avoidance.
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00:17:36,031 --> 00:17:39,712
Organization really gets you thinking about
things in a whole new light, you know?
168
00:17:40,677 --> 00:17:45,253
Like... ever wonder why people wear clothes?
- Nope!
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00:17:46,073 --> 00:17:50,889
Look at it this way, man's best friend
is his apparel. Now...
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00:17:50,889 --> 00:17:55,296
you start to dress for success and you
will score with the babes and
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00:17:55,296 --> 00:17:58,366
make the big bucks.
Gotta admit that's true.
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00:17:58,366 --> 00:18:01,098
I don't have to admit that.
- You have to admit that!
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00:18:01,098 --> 00:18:02,427
No I don't!
- Yes you do!
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00:18:02,577 --> 00:18:03,757
I don't have to admit anything.
175
00:18:03,757 --> 00:18:05,671
You have to admit there's
hair on your head.
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00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:07,639
No I don't.
- Well you have to admit that!
177
00:18:08,023 --> 00:18:09,582
Well you have to admit your
cat's dead!
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00:18:09,582 --> 00:18:11,426
He's deader than a doornail!
179
00:18:11,846 --> 00:18:14,711
That cat is colder than a
well-digger's ass!
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00:18:17,884 --> 00:18:21,762
Pretty hard to deny that isn't it,
Mr. Smartypants.
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00:18:22,613 --> 00:18:27,294
Yep! Deceased. El Morto.
No more mister kitty cat.
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00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:36,017
Man, I love drama.
Really gets the old juices flowing.
183
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:57,052
What... oh no, it's after midnight!
I have to get this car back!
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00:18:57,142 --> 00:19:00,413
This road leads to the freeway.
185
00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:01,870
Oh horseshit!
186
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:07,199
It's not a road - it's a river!
- River!
187
00:19:07,651 --> 00:19:10,758
Stupid! It's the middle of the desert.
188
00:19:16,064 --> 00:19:19,347
Turn around. I can't go out here.
I have a heart condition.
189
00:19:19,827 --> 00:19:24,694
I have to bury Simon first.
- Bury the stinkin' cat now and turn around!
190
00:19:24,694 --> 00:19:27,032
It has to be the right spot!
191
00:19:31,450 --> 00:19:38,286
Great! This is just great! Now I'm stuck in the
middle of the desert with an ignoramus!
192
00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:42,397
You're the ignoramus!
This is your car!
193
00:19:42,397 --> 00:19:46,820
Stop! Have some of your cereal!
See how you like that! Huh!?
194
00:19:48,393 --> 00:19:51,828
Rub it in your hair and
stick it up your butt!
195
00:19:58,934 --> 00:20:02,335
Don't ever - ever! Call my cat stinky!
196
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:12,318
You're a killer!
You're a sick killer!
197
00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:53,532
Hey!
- Oh... where are... please.
198
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,024
Car won't start.
- Huh?!
199
00:21:07,029 --> 00:21:09,420
Pop the hood, will you?
200
00:21:15,672 --> 00:21:20,359
Ahh! I'm going to get kicked out of
the organization for this.
201
00:21:21,229 --> 00:21:27,227
The freeway's just over that hill. Go call the
organization tell them to come out here to pick us up.
202
00:21:29,153 --> 00:21:32,937
Just give them a buzz. Tell
them out in the middle of the desert
203
00:21:32,962 --> 00:21:35,056
with an asswipe
and a frozen cat.
204
00:21:36,669 --> 00:21:40,262
Why don't you go call your mother and
have her come out here and push us back?
205
00:21:49,043 --> 00:21:52,315
Get that stinky cat out of my
car and bury it.
206
00:21:52,809 --> 00:21:54,742
This isn't the right spot.
207
00:21:56,561 --> 00:21:59,290
This... is the right spot.
208
00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:08,162
Don't touch my cat.
209
00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:11,348
Okay.
210
00:22:12,379 --> 00:22:14,918
Don't come crying to me if you can't
find the right spot.
211
00:22:15,207 --> 00:22:19,733
Anybody in their right mind would be
pleased as punch to bury a cat here.
212
00:22:23,807 --> 00:22:26,837
Well, we've got to get organized.
213
00:22:28,422 --> 00:22:33,461
Now, do you remember where it was that
you went off the highway?
214
00:22:33,571 --> 00:22:34,949
I don't remember.
215
00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:39,847
Uh... do you remember the name of the
last town we went through?
216
00:22:40,765 --> 00:22:45,521
I think it started with a B.
- Well it is kind of important you know...
217
00:22:45,521 --> 00:22:50,073
A lot of towns start with B.
Boston. Barcelonia...
218
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:54,347
It wasn't Barcelonia.
- I know it wasn't Barcelonia, that's in Spain!
219
00:22:56,417 --> 00:23:02,875
Well. I think that the closest town is
this spot here. Prod.
220
00:23:05,178 --> 00:23:06,531
Prod's that way.
221
00:23:07,327 --> 00:23:08,928
No, it's not.
It's that way.
222
00:23:18,163 --> 00:23:21,088
Hey! Uh. I kind of think we
should stick together.
223
00:23:22,851 --> 00:23:26,984
Ok! I won't fight it!
It's your problem!
224
00:23:27,457 --> 00:23:34,424
It's your life you're ruining! I am not
going that way! I am going to Prod!
225
00:24:24,490 --> 00:24:27,336
Maybe I should get back to the car.
226
00:24:29,162 --> 00:24:30,747
Maybe I should hurry.
227
00:24:34,271 --> 00:24:39,331
You see, Simon? This is what happens when
you go out of the house.
228
00:25:11,414 --> 00:25:12,197
Ahh!
229
00:25:15,536 --> 00:25:16,007
Ahh!
230
00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:29,247
Ha ha ha!
231
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:34,448
Ooh!
- Go ahead and laugh! I doesn't hurt me if you laugh.
232
00:25:34,727 --> 00:25:39,290
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Did you find the freeway funny guy?
233
00:25:39,290 --> 00:25:41,150
Did you see the freeway?
234
00:25:44,859 --> 00:25:46,161
No.
235
00:25:50,629 --> 00:25:54,630
Prod's that way.
- No it's not. I went that way.
236
00:25:54,710 --> 00:25:58,775
Look. We've got to get organized.
We have to set goals.
237
00:26:00,704 --> 00:26:06,771
Why don't we bury your cat here and we'll
follow the car tracks back the way we came?
238
00:26:09,515 --> 00:26:10,105
Okay.
239
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:13,836
Now you're talking.
240
00:26:13,861 --> 00:26:19,443
We could bury a cat under that
cactus and that way he would have a
241
00:26:19,468 --> 00:26:21,883
beautiful view of the rocks.
242
00:26:22,289 --> 00:26:24,013
Bury him up there.
243
00:26:25,258 --> 00:26:26,762
Up there?
244
00:26:29,519 --> 00:26:32,436
Alright but I'm not going
to walk all the way up there.
245
00:26:32,461 --> 00:26:34,127
I am not going to ruin my feet.
246
00:26:35,509 --> 00:26:37,724
What are you going to dig the hole with?
247
00:26:40,116 --> 00:26:42,123
I don't know what he think's he's going
to dig the hole with...
248
00:26:59,890 --> 00:27:01,348
What's that?
249
00:27:03,776 --> 00:27:06,154
House?
- Might have a phone.
250
00:27:07,701 --> 00:27:11,025
Let's finish up here quick
and go see.
251
00:27:18,102 --> 00:27:20,476
You better get that cat in the
ground real fast.
252
00:27:23,234 --> 00:27:26,135
I mean there could be puma's around
here, you know?
253
00:27:28,125 --> 00:27:32,110
Puma can smell a dead cat
fourty miles off.
254
00:27:54,713 --> 00:27:57,035
Quit stalling. Bury the cat.
255
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:10,097
It's gonna get weird now, isn't it?
- This isn't the right spot.
256
00:28:11,121 --> 00:28:14,890
Bury him over by the house.
- Are you crazy?!
257
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:17,922
This is the perfect spot to bury a cat!
258
00:28:18,018 --> 00:28:23,486
Any cat in their right mind would be
happy as a clam to be buried here!
259
00:28:24,601 --> 00:28:30,621
Good Lord! Not the right spot!
You got a big problem, Rubin.
260
00:28:31,112 --> 00:28:33,031
You got a big problem.
261
00:28:36,136 --> 00:28:40,413
I am an incredibly
powerful sales person who
262
00:28:40,438 --> 00:28:46,519
continually climbs higher and
higher up the ladder of success.
263
00:28:47,362 --> 00:28:51,221
I am an incredibly
powerful sales person who
264
00:28:51,541 --> 00:28:53,940
continually climbs higher and higher...
265
00:29:02,313 --> 00:29:06,643
Man... it is el warmo out here.
266
00:29:07,427 --> 00:29:10,252
I am thirsty!
Aren't you thirsty?
267
00:29:30,932 --> 00:29:32,943
Oh... Lord!
268
00:29:34,595 --> 00:29:36,297
Oh Lord!
269
00:29:37,092 --> 00:29:42,904
That is the most disgusting thing I have
ever seen. Boy... talk about el weirdo!
270
00:29:43,058 --> 00:29:44,957
You take the cake, buster.
271
00:29:48,276 --> 00:29:51,214
Hey... could we rest for a minute?!
272
00:29:53,442 --> 00:29:56,321
I have a heart condition, you know.
I have to take care of myself.
273
00:29:58,342 --> 00:30:00,571
I don't care what you do. I'm resting.
274
00:30:14,802 --> 00:30:16,418
You ever married, Rubin?
275
00:30:19,133 --> 00:30:20,696
Yeah, I was married... once.
276
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:28,896
Yeah I said, "honey, I could make a lot of
money for you." So - she married me.
277
00:30:30,084 --> 00:30:33,883
Three years later I'm still making nine thou
a year, so she left.
278
00:30:35,990 --> 00:30:38,480
That's when I first became
interested in the organization.
279
00:30:38,857 --> 00:30:43,786
Would you shut up about the organization?!
I'm not interested, okay?!
280
00:30:43,793 --> 00:30:45,895
Okay. Take it easy.
281
00:30:49,929 --> 00:30:53,623
So... what kind of cat was Simon?
282
00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:57,897
A good cat.
- I mean, was he siamese or what?
283
00:31:19,665 --> 00:31:22,766
Look, I was just trying to be friendly.
284
00:31:23,358 --> 00:31:25,758
I like cats too, you know.
285
00:31:33,049 --> 00:31:39,708
My cat liked music.
- Music? You into Cat Stevens? Ha ha!
286
00:31:43,528 --> 00:31:48,123
Mahler.
- Mahler? That's weird.
287
00:31:48,806 --> 00:31:51,865
Did you ever see that movie Cat People?
- Cat People?
288
00:31:51,865 --> 00:31:57,076
Yeah Cat People. They worshipped cats.
Hated dogs but worshipped cats.
289
00:31:57,612 --> 00:32:00,037
I saw part of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
290
00:32:01,134 --> 00:32:02,667
You ever see Chat Bleu?
291
00:32:04,665 --> 00:32:07,535
Man, that is
a powerful flick.
292
00:32:25,787 --> 00:32:28,944
What happened to it's tail?
- Fan.
293
00:32:29,872 --> 00:32:38,452
Fan's can be damn dangerous.
- Fan's caused 1,114 serious injuries in 1988.
294
00:32:38,875 --> 00:32:40,033
Incredible.
295
00:32:43,420 --> 00:32:48,175
You can keep that.
Got 23 more of those.
296
00:32:52,987 --> 00:32:57,054
Did you ever have a dog?
I had one once. Pointer.
297
00:32:58,455 --> 00:33:01,402
He never could figure
out what to point at.
298
00:33:03,552 --> 00:33:05,303
People like that.
299
00:33:08,971 --> 00:33:10,844
People are like that, Rubin.
300
00:33:12,011 --> 00:33:15,378
They don't know what
they're supposed to do.
301
00:33:17,055 --> 00:33:20,369
The organization could be so helpful
for a guy like you.
302
00:33:21,128 --> 00:33:24,596
For $300 I could start
you on the installment plan.
303
00:33:26,879 --> 00:33:31,534
You need help, Rubin! Look at your clothes.
- I like these clothes!
304
00:33:31,534 --> 00:33:35,613
Well, you don't have a job!
- I have money!
305
00:33:35,613 --> 00:33:39,257
Well, you don't have any friends.
Now you have to admit that!
306
00:33:39,561 --> 00:33:42,723
Nobody really likes you, Rubin.
I mean really.
307
00:33:43,838 --> 00:33:47,058
Rubin...
Rubin.
308
00:33:59,046 --> 00:34:03,262
I knew it. We came all
the way out here for nothing!
309
00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:20,366
So Lord... Oh! That is the most
repulsive thing...
310
00:34:29,503 --> 00:34:35,936
Hey! C'mon. Now let's go. Let's go back
to the car and follow our tracks.
311
00:34:47,110 --> 00:34:53,030
That isn't funny. Any Warhol was
a successful artist.
312
00:34:53,230 --> 00:34:58,799
What did he paint?
He painted Campbell's Soup cans.
313
00:35:03,045 --> 00:35:05,728
Look I really don't want to
talk about art right now. Let's go.
314
00:35:06,506 --> 00:35:09,727
He doesn't sound so great
to me, he sounds like a fraud.
315
00:35:10,064 --> 00:35:14,189
That's absurd! He's famous.
- Well you can be famous and be...
316
00:35:14,189 --> 00:35:17,713
a fraud... a famous fraud! Ha ha!
317
00:35:18,464 --> 00:35:22,669
I really don't want to talk about art.
Never talk about art or religion or politics.
318
00:35:22,669 --> 00:35:25,176
No wonder you don't have
any friends.
319
00:35:28,286 --> 00:35:30,684
At least I'm not a fraud.
320
00:35:32,233 --> 00:35:36,835
Fraud failure like you!
- I don't have time for this.
321
00:35:38,888 --> 00:35:42,444
Have to admit you're a failure, Ed.
Have to admit your wife left you...
322
00:35:42,444 --> 00:35:46,577
she couldn't stand to live with
a fraud failure! Ha ha!
323
00:35:47,434 --> 00:35:52,894
You leave my wife out of this! I'm walking
back to the car and following the tracks...
324
00:35:52,894 --> 00:35:55,522
back to the road, and
I'm going to Prod.
325
00:35:56,722 --> 00:35:59,237
Ha ha ha!
Go ahead!
326
00:36:00,567 --> 00:36:06,142
Prod is just over that hill!
I'll be in Prod before you!
327
00:36:07,598 --> 00:36:09,655
Ha ha ha!
328
00:36:25,259 --> 00:36:27,839
Where's the car?
- I don't know.
329
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,770
Where are you going?
- Away from you!
330
00:36:47,154 --> 00:36:49,925
I can't believe you're still
carrying that thing.
331
00:36:51,117 --> 00:36:57,610
You know what I think? I think you're afraid
to bury that cat because it's all you have.
332
00:36:57,934 --> 00:37:01,449
That's what I think. What do
you think about that?!
333
00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:07,322
I think... your car's that way.
- Well then go that way!
334
00:37:07,330 --> 00:37:11,254
Stop following me! Go ruin
somebody else's life!
335
00:37:41,213 --> 00:37:47,657
And another thing! I don't look at failure
as failure! I look at failure as...
336
00:37:47,657 --> 00:37:53,532
an opportunity to develop my senses.
I laugh at failure - ha ha ha!
337
00:37:53,532 --> 00:37:56,219
Ow! Son of a bitch! Ah!
338
00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:09,387
I knew I could find it.
339
00:38:11,287 --> 00:38:13,502
Didn't fail at that, did I?
340
00:38:14,895 --> 00:38:18,374
Oh, brother.
Mr. Busta's gonna love this!
341
00:38:42,547 --> 00:38:46,317
Okay! Ha ha!
342
00:38:52,381 --> 00:38:58,295
Just see who get's to
Prod first, sucker! Ha ha!
343
00:39:53,288 --> 00:39:59,318
Ed. First thing's first. Now remember,
the big "E" - enthusiasm!
344
00:40:02,054 --> 00:40:06,067
Hello?
- Hello Rula, I was just thinking about you...
345
00:40:06,067 --> 00:40:10,239
and I thought I'd give you a bell.
- You've got a big problem, Ed!
346
00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:13,783
Yeah I know.
- And you know the problem, isn't the problem.
347
00:40:13,783 --> 00:40:17,928
- It's how you handle a problem, that's a problem!
I know. I know.
348
00:40:18,298 --> 00:40:22,535
I think I deserve a bread winner, Ed.
And I'm not talking about Wonderbread.
349
00:40:22,567 --> 00:40:24,043
I'm talking about croissants.
350
00:40:24,950 --> 00:40:31,178
Right now, Rula, I am out in the desert
handling a big mineral deal...
351
00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:33,227
You know minerals will really skyrocketing.
352
00:40:34,270 --> 00:40:37,614
I mean these oil people keep me
really jumping.
353
00:40:37,614 --> 00:40:43,987
Ha! I thought you said it was minerals?
- Well. Minerals... and oil. You know.
354
00:40:43,987 --> 00:40:47,753
Actually it's a big mineral oil deal.
- Mmm...
355
00:40:48,229 --> 00:40:54,568
Mineral oil... um.
Rula, could we just have a nice dinner some time?
356
00:40:55,630 --> 00:40:56,778
It's over, Ed.
357
00:40:58,070 --> 00:41:02,254
Why does it have to be over?
Please deposit $2.05 for the next 3 minutes.
358
00:41:02,410 --> 00:41:05,589
Why does it have to be over, Rula?
Please deposit $2.05...
359
00:41:05,923 --> 00:41:10,436
I don't have $2.05!
Rula!... Rula!...
360
00:41:18,019 --> 00:41:21,719
Real smooth, Ed.
Real smooth.
361
00:41:28,504 --> 00:41:35,666
Thanks. Listen, I'm looking for a friend.
He's got long hair and thick glasses...
362
00:41:35,666 --> 00:41:39,704
He's wearing bell-bottom pants.
- Never seen a guy like that.
363
00:41:39,744 --> 00:41:42,965
I never seen a guy like that either.
What's he drivin'?
364
00:41:43,023 --> 00:41:46,297
We had car trouble and he
decided to walk.
365
00:41:48,908 --> 00:41:52,254
On foot? A man don't last
long out there on foot.
366
00:41:52,478 --> 00:41:53,790
Where'd you break down?
367
00:41:55,839 --> 00:41:58,660
Sounds like he's out there on Snake Flats.
- Guy from New York died...
368
00:41:58,660 --> 00:42:01,500
from a snake that bit him out there.
- That was a scorpion!
369
00:42:01,603 --> 00:42:03,797
There are thousands more scorpions
than there are snakes.
370
00:42:03,797 --> 00:42:07,564
- That was a snake! A big snake! I outta
know, I drove him to the hospital.
371
00:42:08,109 --> 00:42:11,927
If your friend's headed north, why he's gonna
fall right down an abandoned mine shaft!
372
00:42:11,927 --> 00:42:13,665
That's not north, that's west!
373
00:42:13,812 --> 00:42:17,689
West is the test site.
- Test site's east. Sun comes up...
374
00:42:17,689 --> 00:42:19,403
in the east, goes down in the west.
375
00:42:20,413 --> 00:42:23,746
I sure hope your friend didn't go out east.
Radiation could kill a man in 30 seconds.
376
00:42:24,046 --> 00:42:26,252
He's exaggerating, it takes longer
than that.
377
00:42:26,489 --> 00:42:30,145
It takes exactly 30 seconds! I outta know.
I saw it on T.V.!
378
00:42:30,452 --> 00:42:33,145
Radiation?
- One thing about it though, if your friend is...
379
00:42:33,145 --> 00:42:36,057
still alive. This is where
he'll show up.
380
00:42:36,289 --> 00:42:39,741
Not another town for 100 miles.
He'll show up.
381
00:42:40,743 --> 00:42:42,161
Course he will.
382
00:42:43,215 --> 00:42:44,658
Course he will...
383
00:44:33,908 --> 00:44:36,874
Wow!
Ha ha ha!
384
00:45:33,091 --> 00:45:35,290
Do something, Ed!
385
00:45:38,756 --> 00:45:40,700
Take control!
386
00:45:43,371 --> 00:45:48,631
Hello?
- Hello, mom. I want you to call the organization...
387
00:45:48,631 --> 00:45:51,488
-and tell them that I'm sick.
You're not sick. You get over here and mow my...
388
00:45:51,488 --> 00:45:53,324
lawn just you said you
was going to.
389
00:45:53,324 --> 00:45:57,263
I'll do that later, mom. Just call
the organization, okay?
390
00:46:07,148 --> 00:46:08,631
Yes, I'll accept the call.
391
00:46:09,314 --> 00:46:13,702
Hello Ed, where you are son?
- Prod! Stupid, Utah!
392
00:46:13,702 --> 00:46:17,406
Is mom still there?
- Your mother's pretty well steamed.
393
00:46:17,566 --> 00:46:20,739
The organization's been here twice this morning.
They're pretty well steamed too.
394
00:46:21,149 --> 00:46:24,101
A fella named Busta stopped by
and wants to know where you're at.
395
00:46:24,138 --> 00:46:25,699
Mr. Busta?
- Yes.
396
00:46:25,946 --> 00:46:30,285
He said that you better have that car back by
5 o'clock or he's gonna have to call the police.
397
00:46:30,289 --> 00:46:34,112
Police?! Oh... great!
398
00:46:34,949 --> 00:46:39,617
Terrific! Thanks a lot dad.
Now, can you put mom back on?
399
00:46:40,343 --> 00:46:41,904
Hey, mom, it's for you.
400
00:46:43,588 --> 00:46:45,263
Hello, mom.
- Yes?
401
00:46:45,839 --> 00:46:48,736
Mom, is that you?
- Yes!
402
00:46:49,996 --> 00:46:51,979
Ha ha!
403
00:46:54,584 --> 00:46:58,266
You tell that idiot in the bell-bottoms when
he shows up I couldn't wait.
404
00:46:58,266 --> 00:47:00,651
Okay. What if he don't?
- Don't what?
405
00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:01,581
Show up?
406
00:47:03,263 --> 00:47:05,940
I gotta go find him, right?
- I dunno.
407
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:09,992
I got to find him or he'll get bit by a
radiated snake and he'll fall...
408
00:47:09,992 --> 00:47:11,968
down an abandoned mine shaft,
right?
409
00:47:11,968 --> 00:47:15,736
I dunno.
- Well, forget it. He's on his own!
410
00:47:28,082 --> 00:47:33,120
I'm happy as hell ol' batface is out there
shriveling up like an old turd, I'm happy as hell!
411
00:47:34,386 --> 00:47:37,637
I'm... happy as hell!
412
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:46,010
Okay... I have to go back to get the
hopeless son of a bitch!
413
00:47:48,043 --> 00:47:51,055
It's his own damn fault!
414
00:47:51,055 --> 00:47:57,274
I can't believe anybody would ever suck
on Odor Eaters! Ugh!
415
00:48:22,295 --> 00:48:25,625
Ahh!
Ahh!
416
00:48:34,019 --> 00:48:41,092
No! No, no!
- Ah ha ha ha! Alright!
417
00:48:45,793 --> 00:48:54,856
Ugh! Oh. Heart.
Oh. Oh.
418
00:48:56,490 --> 00:49:00,891
Just take it easy, Ed.
Just take it... easy.
419
00:49:41,867 --> 00:49:44,009
Echo...
420
00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:48,143
Echo!
421
00:50:19,295 --> 00:50:22,757
Ow ow ow ow ow.
422
00:50:32,687 --> 00:50:35,157
Echo people.
423
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,630
Wow!
424
00:51:17,372 --> 00:51:18,538
Meow!
425
00:51:30,453 --> 00:51:32,561
Meow.
426
00:51:34,887 --> 00:51:39,672
Hello Rubin! I love you!
I love your shoes!
427
00:51:39,945 --> 00:51:45,651
You're a king! A king!
A king!
428
00:51:45,651 --> 00:51:49,015
My cat can eat a whole watermelon!
429
00:51:49,569 --> 00:51:51,225
Meow!
430
00:52:05,178 --> 00:52:08,667
Hey. Hey! Hey weirdo!
Hey weirdo!
431
00:52:10,429 --> 00:52:13,790
Hey weirdo! Hey weirdo!
Come out and play!
432
00:52:14,866 --> 00:52:18,825
C'mon weirdo! Your cat's down here!
Ha ha ha!
433
00:52:19,711 --> 00:52:22,540
Uh oh! Cat overboard!
434
00:52:23,866 --> 00:52:27,199
Not much of a swimmer, is he?
- Hey!
435
00:52:39,061 --> 00:52:40,634
Meow!
436
00:53:09,683 --> 00:53:12,824
That's an asswipe up there.
437
00:53:25,715 --> 00:53:27,718
Rubin...
438
00:53:30,352 --> 00:53:34,281
Hey! This is not all that humorous
you know.
439
00:53:35,974 --> 00:53:37,987
Holy Moses.
440
00:53:45,356 --> 00:53:50,521
Indian. Could be Apache.
441
00:53:57,130 --> 00:54:02,933
Oh! Ha ha! There you are! Boy you look
like a total dork!
442
00:54:04,489 --> 00:54:08,674
Echo people.
- Echo people? God Lord.
443
00:54:09,237 --> 00:54:10,364
Uh. Get up.
444
00:54:10,798 --> 00:54:13,894
Echo people.
- Rubin. Get up!
445
00:54:14,355 --> 00:54:20,009
Let's get your jacket on there.
Yeah, hypothermia won't help.
446
00:54:20,263 --> 00:54:24,983
Get that jacket on.
Atta boy. Good work! Okay!
447
00:54:25,432 --> 00:54:26,500
Let's go!
448
00:54:27,458 --> 00:54:32,073
You're gonna... you'll want to let
go of that cooler, Rubin.
449
00:54:32,787 --> 00:54:36,927
Rubin, let go of the!...
450
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,960
Okay! That's good! That's good!
No cat! C'mon! C'mon!
451
00:54:42,323 --> 00:54:48,750
Let's get up on our feet here. Yeah! C'mon!
Atta boy. You can do it. That's it. Okay.
452
00:54:50,122 --> 00:54:52,721
Nope, nope! Nevermind, it's time to go!
453
00:54:54,845 --> 00:54:58,123
Okay... okay...
454
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:05,128
I'll bury Simon. You be the supervisor,
I'll be the burier.
455
00:55:05,901 --> 00:55:10,614
Then... we are going to march out
of here. Okay?
456
00:55:10,729 --> 00:55:14,863
Now you see? This is how you
dig a hole.
457
00:55:15,597 --> 00:55:19,944
Tellin' you, Rubin. Your whole problem is.
You just won't let go!
458
00:55:20,114 --> 00:55:22,972
You can't hold on to something
when it's dead!
459
00:55:24,174 --> 00:55:27,990
Man, anybody ever needed that
seminar... it is you!
460
00:55:28,961 --> 00:55:33,140
Go on to the next step.
If you don't, well you find...
461
00:55:33,140 --> 00:55:39,383
yourself all of a sudden standing there
holding a big ol' pile of nothing!
462
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:41,925
I know.
463
00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:48,433
I was on the road to success. Sure...
464
00:55:48,999 --> 00:55:53,455
I coulda been driving my own
Thunderbird. No!
465
00:55:55,506 --> 00:56:01,440
I had to let it all go, so I could come out to
this god forsaken place...
466
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:06,567
and show some asswipe how to
bury a soggy cat!
467
00:56:16,612 --> 00:56:20,554
I'm sorry, Rubin.
I didn't mean it.
468
00:56:25,850 --> 00:56:33,308
Oh Lord! Hell of a good looking cat you've
got here, Rubin. Magnificent... creature!
469
00:56:40,083 --> 00:56:42,233
Sorry, Simon.
470
00:56:45,474 --> 00:56:49,908
It's like a custom fit!
Ha ha! Look at this, Rubin!
471
00:56:49,908 --> 00:56:54,342
Here's ol' Mickey! Rubber squeaky mouse!
472
00:56:55,297 --> 00:56:58,082
Right in there with good ol' Simon.
473
00:56:58,940 --> 00:57:04,618
Boy. I tell you Rubin, this is really a
swell place that you've picked here.
474
00:57:04,856 --> 00:57:09,074
I mean this is tremendous!
Oh boy, I'm not kidding either!
475
00:57:09,174 --> 00:57:14,689
Any cat would be... proud as a clam
to be buried here!
476
00:57:17,727 --> 00:57:23,590
Okay. Yeah, if that doesn't say "Here Lies
Simon", I don't know what does.
477
00:57:24,979 --> 00:57:27,076
How's that?
Okay?
478
00:57:31,766 --> 00:57:33,145
Right.
479
00:57:38,774 --> 00:57:43,732
Dear Lord. Uh.
Bless this feline.
480
00:57:44,430 --> 00:57:47,211
Um. He's a good cat.
481
00:57:52,794 --> 00:57:56,631
He was a good friend to Rubin.
- Yeah...
482
00:57:57,485 --> 00:58:02,144
Even though Rubin himself can
really be a... well...
483
00:58:04,519 --> 00:58:08,073
Rubin loved this cat.
484
00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:15,764
Amen.
485
00:58:26,940 --> 00:58:30,482
I don't see anything that looks familiar.
I don't know where the hell I am...
486
00:58:30,482 --> 00:58:31,921
Does this look familiar to you?
487
00:58:32,464 --> 00:58:38,047
My cat can eat a whole watermelon.
- Oh, horseshit!
488
00:58:43,159 --> 00:58:50,082
There! Jabber down there with the rest
of the crockpots! See how you like that!
489
00:58:52,693 --> 00:58:59,070
Echo people worshipped cats.
- Oh Echo people my butt! There are no Echo people.
490
00:58:59,265 --> 00:59:05,299
I told you that 15 times. Just shut
up about the Echo people. Jesus.
491
00:59:18,436 --> 00:59:20,211
Heart!
492
00:59:41,415 --> 00:59:44,724
After admitting that your wife left you,
she couldn't stand to live with a
493
00:59:44,724 --> 00:59:45,868
fraud failure!
494
00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:47,958
I love you Ed.
495
01:00:11,964 --> 01:00:13,981
Where it happen...?
496
01:00:16,688 --> 01:00:18,169
What happened?
497
01:00:26,703 --> 01:00:28,603
C'mon Rubbie, let's go.
498
01:00:33,395 --> 01:00:34,974
Can you get up?
499
01:00:44,451 --> 01:00:48,394
Son of a bitch.
That dirty son of a bitch!
500
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:06,835
Now I'm not one to mettle in another's business...
- Good.
501
01:01:07,596 --> 01:01:10,407
You feeling better Rubin?
- Better.
502
01:01:10,451 --> 01:01:13,021
You don't seem like no kidnapper to me.
503
01:01:13,021 --> 01:01:15,293
Kidnapper? What are you talking about?
504
01:01:15,589 --> 01:01:18,239
Seems that fella who's head you're
watering there, his mother found...
505
01:01:18,239 --> 01:01:20,252
your business card,
reported him kidnapped.
506
01:01:21,239 --> 01:01:24,505
How would you know that?
- State trooper's through here an hour ago.
507
01:01:24,744 --> 01:01:29,857
Your mother told him you were in Prod.
- My mother... that figures!
508
01:01:29,925 --> 01:01:32,738
They said you was a dangerous car
thief and kidnapper.
509
01:01:33,215 --> 01:01:35,317
You don't look all that kidnapped to me.
510
01:01:44,186 --> 01:01:46,211
Listen um...
511
01:01:46,683 --> 01:01:50,632
Could I borrow a quarter? I want to get
this thing straightened out right away.
512
01:01:50,901 --> 01:01:55,007
Thanks. Police are reasonable people,
they'll understand.
513
01:01:55,325 --> 01:01:56,625
Course they will.
514
01:02:02,631 --> 01:02:06,045
Sheriff's Department.
- Hello, Police, uh. This is Ed Tuttle...
515
01:02:06,045 --> 01:02:07,505
uh, the kidnapper you're after.
516
01:02:08,046 --> 01:02:13,735
Um, I think there's been a little misunderstanding.
I was just helping bury a frozen cat.
517
01:02:14,077 --> 01:02:16,512
Mr. Tuttle - is Rubin Farr alright?
518
01:02:17,411 --> 01:02:22,200
Oh, he is so messed up it
is unbelievable.
519
01:02:22,357 --> 01:02:27,036
Uh but it was his cat, it was not mine.
I said look, I said let's bury him under...
520
01:02:27,036 --> 01:02:31,777
that cactus but no, he wanted to bury him
in the cave of the Echo people so...
521
01:02:31,777 --> 01:02:37,048
anyway, I haven't done anything and I just wanted
you to get this all straightened out, okay?
522
01:02:37,097 --> 01:02:39,311
Where are you now, Mr. Tuttle?
Are you in Prod?
523
01:02:39,383 --> 01:02:40,572
Well of course I'm in Prod.
524
01:02:41,014 --> 01:02:42,199
Rubin's with me.
525
01:02:42,702 --> 01:02:44,612
Why, why... why do you care where we're at?
526
01:02:44,612 --> 01:02:49,975
Just, uh, di - you don't need to know that,
okay? I haven't done anything!
527
01:02:49,975 --> 01:02:53,764
Just calm down, Mr. Tuttle.
- You calm down! You are the ones...
528
01:02:53,764 --> 01:02:57,954
who are supposed to calm down, alright?!
Why the hell are you harassing me anyway?!
529
01:02:58,012 --> 01:03:00,749
I haven't done anything...
- Mr. Tuttle just stay where you are at.
530
01:03:00,821 --> 01:03:07,109
Don't Mr. Tuttle me! Alright?! Now if you bozo's
had an ounce of sense...
531
01:03:07,109 --> 01:03:11,346
you'd go after the real criminals! You'd go after
the son of a bitch that spray painted...
532
01:03:11,346 --> 01:03:14,662
"Andy Warhol sucks a big one"
on my car!
533
01:03:20,471 --> 01:03:24,680
Well... that oughta straighten it all out.
- Yeah...
534
01:03:27,737 --> 01:03:30,062
Rubin. We've gotta get out of here fast.
535
01:03:46,158 --> 01:03:47,755
Oh Lord!
536
01:04:04,789 --> 01:04:05,821
Head down!
537
01:04:12,714 --> 01:04:15,849
I can't believe it.
It just keeps getting worse!
538
01:04:27,932 --> 01:04:30,910
You got any money?
We need gas.
539
01:04:31,088 --> 01:04:33,820
Lost my wallet.
- Oh that figures.
540
01:04:37,583 --> 01:04:40,141
Wrong street for my house.
- I know that!
541
01:04:40,190 --> 01:04:47,037
Look we're not going anywhere unless we get
some gas! Gotta be one around here somewhere...
542
01:04:49,191 --> 01:04:51,210
This is my old neighborhood.
543
01:05:12,754 --> 01:05:15,069
Oh, no. Rula!
Ah!
544
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:23,458
Hey, Ed! What are you doing in the bushes?!
I want to go home!
545
01:05:25,721 --> 01:05:26,282
Shh!
546
01:05:27,312 --> 01:05:30,734
What? Want me to be quiet?
547
01:05:41,243 --> 01:05:47,525
Rula!
...What a wonderful surprise. I was just...
548
01:05:47,893 --> 01:05:51,786
looking for my cat! Bugger
seems to have run off.
549
01:05:52,697 --> 01:05:55,360
You've got a big problem, Ed.
550
01:05:56,235 --> 01:05:59,539
I know.
- And you're not ever gonna do anything about...
551
01:05:59,539 --> 01:06:03,529
the problem because you refuse to
accept that you have one!
552
01:06:04,010 --> 01:06:06,567
I know. I know.
- We better go, Rula.
553
01:06:06,567 --> 01:06:11,925
You're afraid to ask yourself the right questions.
Why? Because you're afraid of...
554
01:06:11,925 --> 01:06:17,033
the answers but sometimes it's more
important to ask the right questions...
555
01:06:17,033 --> 01:06:23,014
than it is to know the right answers!
- Sometimes Rula, I dunno what the hell you're talking about.
556
01:06:24,492 --> 01:06:29,263
That's part of the problem.
- I know! I know!
557
01:06:29,628 --> 01:06:35,541
We better go, Rula.
- Don't you ever interrupt me.
558
01:06:35,541 --> 01:06:40,070
I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry.
- You've got a big problem too, ya know...
559
01:06:40,096 --> 01:06:41,748
Just who the hell are
you anyway?!
560
01:06:44,107 --> 01:06:50,056
This is Jimbo. He is my... fiancé.
- Your fiancé?
561
01:06:51,025 --> 01:06:54,433
You're gonna marry... him?
- Hey! I resent that!
562
01:06:54,859 --> 01:06:58,459
How'd you like a kick right in the taco, buster?
- Shut up, Ed!
563
01:06:58,633 --> 01:07:04,509
No! You shut up! I... am sick and tired
of shutting up!
564
01:07:04,725 --> 01:07:07,540
C'mon Rula, let's go.
- Let go of my arm!
565
01:07:07,736 --> 01:07:12,414
I am not the one with the problem! You're
the fella with the problem!
566
01:07:12,414 --> 01:07:13,939
Oh yeah?!
- Yeah!
567
01:07:13,939 --> 01:07:18,551
Ha ha! Well, you are
lousy in bed! All those years...
568
01:07:18,551 --> 01:07:22,679
I never had one... single... orgasm.
569
01:07:24,769 --> 01:07:27,399
Ahh!
570
01:07:27,959 --> 01:07:29,471
Ha ha! You missed me!
571
01:07:30,054 --> 01:07:31,149
See I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding!
572
01:07:31,929 --> 01:07:36,403
You are a miserable, miserable, miserable,
miserable failure!
573
01:07:38,575 --> 01:07:41,670
I hate you!
- Rula. I'm going... I'm going.
574
01:07:41,778 --> 01:07:42,911
This. I'm going.
575
01:07:48,966 --> 01:07:50,485
Who's that?
576
01:07:51,338 --> 01:07:53,322
It's my wife.
- You know what your problem is?
577
01:07:53,449 --> 01:07:56,624
You've got a persistent, personal dilemma.
578
01:07:57,001 --> 01:08:00,289
I'm gonna be sick!
- That's why you'll never earn any money...
579
01:08:00,342 --> 01:08:05,545
and that's why you'll never be a success!
God knows I tried to steer you in the...
580
01:08:05,545 --> 01:08:08,819
right direction! But you're so stupid!
581
01:08:08,919 --> 01:08:12,980
You couldn't get it! You're just a loser!
582
01:08:12,980 --> 01:08:15,220
You're just a hopeless loser!
583
01:08:40,386 --> 01:08:41,537
Ahh!
584
01:09:13,694 --> 01:09:17,128
She's the one with the problem.
- Yeah I...
585
01:09:17,979 --> 01:09:22,132
She always... I just thought we were...
586
01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:26,408
something special, you know.
- It's all messed up.
587
01:09:27,817 --> 01:09:30,397
You've gotta go on to the next step.
588
01:09:36,254 --> 01:09:41,594
Man! You really need that seminar!
589
01:09:42,058 --> 01:09:43,156
Ha ha!
590
01:09:44,396 --> 01:09:47,679
You really know how to hurt a guy,
you know that?
591
01:09:48,692 --> 01:09:53,174
You... you... really need that seminar!
592
01:09:53,417 --> 01:09:55,465
Shut your yap!
- Ha ha ha!
593
01:10:03,484 --> 01:10:06,859
Now chant along with me... I am incredi...
594
01:10:07,167 --> 01:10:08,744
Ha ha ha!
595
01:10:11,496 --> 01:10:16,186
You know, what the number one difference...
between you and a rich man is?
596
01:10:16,443 --> 01:10:20,333
He's got money... and you don't!
Ha ha ha!
597
01:10:20,446 --> 01:10:23,830
You know what the number one difference is
between me and a rich man?
598
01:10:24,884 --> 01:10:28,069
He's got my bitchy wife
and I don't!
599
01:10:28,447 --> 01:10:31,322
Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha!
600
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:35,454
And if he was smart, he would
ask himself, "why?".
601
01:10:37,897 --> 01:10:46,360
I can't believe that you didn't even get one...
person to that stupid seminar! Ha ha!
602
01:10:54,612 --> 01:10:56,855
I wear $1200 suits.
603
01:10:57,453 --> 01:10:59,961
That's a $2500 watch.
604
01:11:00,230 --> 01:11:03,507
I drive a Lincoln Continental and I
park it in my 3 car garage...
605
01:11:03,507 --> 01:11:06,384
next to my Cadillac and my Mercedes.
606
01:11:06,839 --> 01:11:11,424
People who say that money can't buy
happiness... just don't know where to shop!
607
01:11:11,669 --> 01:11:13,329
Ha ha ha!
608
01:11:20,347 --> 01:11:23,383
Shut up! You're going to sit down and you're
going to be behave like a gentleman!
609
01:11:23,383 --> 01:11:24,030
Okay. Okay.
610
01:11:25,931 --> 01:11:26,931
Okay. C'mon.
611
01:11:28,857 --> 01:11:30,765
Excuse us, folks.
Excuse us.
612
01:11:31,005 --> 01:11:32,059
Excuse us.
613
01:11:32,952 --> 01:11:37,889
Um. Sorry, sorry. Truly sorry.
Sit down! Sit down!
614
01:11:39,717 --> 01:11:41,600
Car's back. Everything's cool.
615
01:11:47,222 --> 01:11:50,851
Tonight I'd like to introduce you to
a couple of old friends.
616
01:11:51,446 --> 01:11:53,487
Who's the biggest failure
in this room?
617
01:11:56,536 --> 01:11:58,808
Raise your hand, Ed.
618
01:11:59,060 --> 01:12:00,655
I don't see many hands going up.
619
01:12:01,712 --> 01:12:06,143
That's because that nobody's taught you
that the secret to...
620
01:12:06,143 --> 01:12:12,402
success is to fail and keep trying!
If you haven't failed, you haven't tried!
621
01:12:12,541 --> 01:12:17,277
Boy that's really profound.
Sure worth $3000, hmm?
622
01:12:18,969 --> 01:12:21,573
Let me tell you something, pal.
623
01:12:21,573 --> 01:12:25,277
If you don't like what I'm saying, you can
leave. Nobody's forcing you to stay here.
624
01:12:26,306 --> 01:12:28,437
Good!
- Sit!
625
01:12:28,478 --> 01:12:31,510
Alright this has gone far enough!
Would you escort Mr. Tuttle and his friend...
626
01:12:31,510 --> 01:12:32,455
to the door please.
627
01:12:32,455 --> 01:12:35,925
You touch me and I'll sue
you into a coma.
628
01:12:36,198 --> 01:12:39,269
I paid my money and I'm staying.
- Then be quiet!
629
01:12:39,534 --> 01:12:42,399
Okay, fine.
It's your seminar.
630
01:12:43,053 --> 01:12:45,546
We'll be quiet.
Won't we, Rubin.
631
01:12:48,073 --> 01:12:49,751
Quiet as clams.
632
01:12:51,047 --> 01:12:52,055
Good.
633
01:12:54,104 --> 01:12:55,448
Not a peep.
634
01:12:57,204 --> 01:12:58,536
Good.
635
01:13:00,992 --> 01:13:02,693
Quiet as a well-digger's ass.
636
01:13:03,718 --> 01:13:07,040
Will you shut up!
- Sure.
637
01:13:13,030 --> 01:13:16,018
Success!
- Success!
638
01:13:16,634 --> 01:13:17,863
Is there an echo in here?
639
01:13:18,146 --> 01:13:20,773
Real estate!
- Real estate!
640
01:13:20,949 --> 01:13:25,115
The Power of Positive Real Estate!
The "PPR"!
641
01:13:25,115 --> 01:13:28,018
The organization!
- Yay! Yeah!
642
01:13:34,511 --> 01:13:37,812
Are you the kind of high caliber
motivated individual that'll...
643
01:13:37,812 --> 01:13:40,612
stop at nothing to get what
you deserve?!
644
01:13:41,506 --> 01:13:43,073
Who are you?
645
01:13:45,025 --> 01:13:46,025
Who are you...
646
01:13:49,629 --> 01:13:52,103
Who are you...
647
01:13:59,789 --> 01:14:03,248
I am the king of the Echo people.
648
01:14:13,683 --> 01:14:16,608
There's no reason to be pushing a person!
- Get out of here!
649
01:14:16,608 --> 01:14:21,119
Oh yeah?! Hell, same goes to you and
everybody who rode in with ya!
650
01:14:23,874 --> 01:14:25,363
Hey! What the hell...
651
01:14:25,681 --> 01:14:28,293
No we're quite alright! Ha!
652
01:14:28,293 --> 01:14:31,528
I gotta hand it to you, Rubin.
That was el smarto!
653
01:14:31,625 --> 01:14:34,360
Boy you really make an impression.
654
01:14:35,478 --> 01:14:41,692
Those people are weird!- They're weird? Ha! You are the one who's weird.
655
01:14:41,692 --> 01:14:47,051
I mean take your shoes for example, Rubin.
You have to admit those shoes are weird.
656
01:14:47,051 --> 01:14:48,750
I mean you have to admit that!
657
01:14:51,330 --> 01:14:56,038
Are you bald?
- Ha ha ha! I'm not completely bald.
658
01:14:56,038 --> 01:14:58,195
This is just a hair substitute.
659
01:14:58,195 --> 01:15:02,358
Many very successful people wear
hair substitutes... Robert Redford...
660
01:15:02,358 --> 01:15:06,384
owns several.
- Well... he wears platform shoes too.
661
01:15:06,584 --> 01:15:10,604
Now that is ridiculous!
I mean you are really something, y'know that?
662
01:15:10,914 --> 01:15:13,542
One rotten apple like that can ruin
a whole meeting!
663
01:15:13,542 --> 01:15:16,233
Yes sir.
- And that guy with the shoes! What is...
664
01:15:16,952 --> 01:15:19,426
Ahh! Ahh!
665
01:15:19,426 --> 01:15:21,638
He's not gonna get away with this!
Where's your car?
666
01:15:21,638 --> 01:15:25,986
Uhh, I don't have a car... where's your car?
- This is my car, stub dick!
667
01:15:25,986 --> 01:15:28,042
I thought you had a Lincoln and
a Mercedes and a Cadillac...
668
01:15:28,042 --> 01:15:30,288
Shut up and get in!
669
01:15:31,288 --> 01:15:33,930
Ahh!
We're gonna find that son of a bitch...
670
01:15:33,930 --> 01:15:40,094
and when we do, he's gonna wish to hell
he never heard of the organization! Go!
671
01:15:49,417 --> 01:15:54,564
I feel revitalized! Man I am really hungry!
Aren't you hungry?
672
01:16:16,744 --> 01:16:20,262
Whoa.
- What the hell was going on there?
673
01:16:22,808 --> 01:16:23,974
Ow!
674
01:16:25,086 --> 01:16:29,415
I am really hungry!
- You devil!
675
01:16:29,601 --> 01:16:33,051
We could get a fish burger around the
corner here... you're not a vegetarian...
676
01:16:33,051 --> 01:16:35,851
are you? Nevet met a vegetarian
I liked.
677
01:16:36,761 --> 01:16:39,686
I hate vegetarians.
- Me too.
678
01:16:40,147 --> 01:16:43,453
I... I... I really hate 'em.
They're just... they're too damn picky!
679
01:16:43,807 --> 01:16:48,891
I hate New Age music too.
- Oh! That stuff could really make a guy sick!
680
01:16:49,090 --> 01:16:52,895
I hate it myself.
Yeah, wow! How I hate it!
681
01:16:53,299 --> 01:16:55,884
So uh... what about Republicans?
682
01:17:02,208 --> 01:17:03,813
I am a Republican.
683
01:17:05,268 --> 01:17:06,390
You are kidding.
684
01:17:07,376 --> 01:17:09,068
I'm a Republican too.
685
01:17:09,795 --> 01:17:11,759
Ha ha ha!
686
01:17:14,543 --> 01:17:17,349
Wait, wait!
There's the bastard now!
687
01:17:17,349 --> 01:17:19,681
Go around the other side of the block.
Hurry up!
688
01:17:25,016 --> 01:17:26,673
He's heading north on Main.
689
01:17:26,852 --> 01:17:29,565
You know, Rubin.
Life's a funny thing.
690
01:17:29,565 --> 01:17:33,377
Sometimes I just have to laugh at life.
Ya know, really. It gives me a chuckle.
691
01:17:34,035 --> 01:17:38,454
It's not a joke. I mean uh, ya know life
is damn serious when you think about it.
692
01:17:38,486 --> 01:17:39,486
Damn serious.
693
01:17:46,174 --> 01:17:47,230
Ahh!
694
01:17:48,669 --> 01:17:50,469
Now what the hell was that?
695
01:17:51,497 --> 01:17:56,114
Wreck.
Ya see? That is exactly what I was talking about...
696
01:17:56,114 --> 01:18:00,700
some poor guy is driving along, minding
his own business and all of a...
697
01:18:00,700 --> 01:18:05,320
sudden life just leaps up and
smacks him right in the face.
698
01:18:06,854 --> 01:18:08,942
Hope that poor bugger was insured.
699
01:18:09,405 --> 01:18:15,480
Look! Damnit! If you bozo's had any
brains you'd catch the son of a bitch that...
700
01:18:15,480 --> 01:18:19,065
painted "Andy Warhol sucks a big
one" on my car!
701
01:18:27,207 --> 01:18:31,381
Y'know Rubin. If you took a good look at
yourself you would have to admit...
702
01:18:31,381 --> 01:18:35,907
you need a lot of help!
- You're bald!
703
01:18:36,904 --> 01:18:41,066
At least I'm doing something with my hair.
Life! I... I'm not just sitting on...
704
01:18:41,066 --> 01:18:45,512
my duff like some people I know.
What you don't seem to realize, Rubin...
705
01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:48,059
is that I am a real go-getter!
706
01:18:48,059 --> 01:18:51,062
Ha ha! There's no stoppin'
this train, pal!
707
01:18:51,062 --> 01:18:54,850
No siree Bob. I am on a collision
course. A head on collision...
708
01:18:54,850 --> 01:18:58,521
course with the brick wall of success!
709
01:19:03,478 --> 01:19:04,648
Think about it.
710
01:19:04,945 --> 01:19:07,345
Subtitles by Magiin.
August 2020.
60149
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