All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S20E05.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-FLUX+DSNP_HI.en

♪ The things that you tell me
The things that you don't ♪

[Grey] When an infection destroys a cell,

the surrounding cells signal each other
to wall it off.

Help. I just had a Nissen fundoplication
and I can't swallow.

What's happening to me?

Are you you, or are you still
a 50-year-old man with achalasia?

It doesn't say.

[sighs] Oh.

[Grey] They isolate the infected cell
to prevent it from spreading

and harming other parts of your body.

[Helm] You think they'll ever
talk to each other again?

[Yasuda] Don't know, don't care.

As long as they finish
their procedure logs.

Besides, I'm too busy
rushing you back to the OR

to loosen the wrap of your stomach.

Correct. You get a fry.

[Grey] The isolation is temporary,
but important.

I prefer the study technique
you used the other night.

I'm not taking my clothes off here.

[Grey] It gives your body time to trigger
your immune system

and stop the infection from spreading.

Did you pick up those yogurt things
that Leo loves this morning?

Sorry. An MVC came in.

Hey, does Pru go through those phases
where she'll only eat two things?

We're at yogurt and graham crackers.

Oh, we are at "I'm going to shove food
under my plate and pretend that I ate it."

[both chuckle]

- Any plans tonight, Bailey?
- I have plans.

I have plans to take a bath,

and not think about interns
for seven hours.

- And then I'm also going to...
- [phones chime]

...the pit.

I'm going to the pit. Multiple traumas?

Yeah, me too. I'll page the interns.

All right, I'll pick up the yogurt.
Good luck.

[Grey] Until isolation
is no longer needed.

Ready for tonight?

"I'm gonna make you an offer
you can't refuse."

- What is that?
- The Godfather.

- Oh.
- It's movie night.

[groans] We're on call.
We should sleep when we can.

Every time I pick the movie,
you're too tired to watch.

Not true!

I sat through that whole baseball movie.
I should get extra points for that.

That was five weeks ago.

- [laughs] No, it was not.
- Yeah!

It was three Screams, one Jason Bourne
and Pride of the Yankees ago.

Five weeks.

Then I'm late.

For what?

[whispers] My period.

[phones buzz, chime]

- It's the ER.
- Should we ignore it?

It's 911.

So is this.

[sighs]

[sighs]

[Shepherd] I never thought
I'd mean this literally,

but I'm reading about
a bunch of random people's crap.

Are all of these adult children
of people with Alzheimer's?

Well, we need to confirm
certain bacteria in the gut.

Our hypothesis will be even more solid.

I'm going to need hard data if I'm ever
going to approach Catherine again.

How can you eat while we're
analyzing these results?

Mmm, becoming my mother
terrifies me that much.

- [chuckles]
- [phone chimes]

[Grey] Zola. "Can Ellis have ice cream?"

No, she can't have ice cream.
It's so late.

Parenting by text. I'm impressed.

Well, it only works
because Zola's honest and mature.

- That's the part that's impressive.
- [phone chiming]

Nick is supposed to read Ellis a story.
Well, ask Nick.

[Shepherd] Do you think fried rice
is anti-inflammatory?

[phone chimes]

What if it's brown rice?

Nick took Bailey to the hospital.

I worked two nights ago and I'm the only
person with my procedure card filled out.

I should be at home studying or sleeping...

Ask your co-chief resident
for an exemption.

- [paramedic] Coming through.
- Nice try.

Oh, wow. Man.

[Helm] What happened?

Second floor deck collapsed, mostly minor
lacerations and musculoskeletal injuries,

but we're still waiting on a few rigs.

- They're all med...
- Medical students.

They were having a white coat party.
They just got theirs.

- I remember that party. I got super dr...
- [Bailey clears throat]

Dramatic about reaching
another milestone in my career.

Everybody grab a chart.
It's gonna be a long night.

- [medical student] Come on.
- [groans]

Hey, someone get him a CBC,
type and screen, and hemoglobin.

- Stat.
- It's okay. I'm okay.

- Mr. Oliver?
- That's me. Eddie.

- Looks like he dislocated his shoulder...
- [Wilson clears throat]

...so reduce it, get an MRI
and page me with the results.

- So the X-ray showed it's not broken?
- Exactly.

We'll do a local block
and then I'll adduct your arm.

[Adams] Need any help?

- Uh, Kwan said he'll help me.
- What?

Oh. Yeah, I-I got it.

- Adams, rigs coming in. Grab a gown.
- Uh...

- What are we doing?
- Thank you.

[line ringing]

[phone ringing]

Hey. I was just gonna call you.

Where's Bailey?

Okay, so we're at the hospital.

He has early appendicitis.

They gave him antibiotics
and morphine for the pain.

He's a little out of it.

- He needs an appy. Who's on call?
- Ankrom.

She's gonna call you about consent.

Well, at least someone
was thinking about that.

Yeah, look, I was gonna call, but...

I don't wanna talk about this now.
I have to change my flight.

Tell Bailey I will be there
as soon as I can.

- Okay...
- [line beeps]

Meredith?

Mer?

[siren wailing]

[Hunt] What do we got?

[paramedic 2] Sophia Valdez, 26,
impaled by a wood beam.

Oxygenating at 96% on room air,
hemodynamically stable.

Bilateral neuro deficits
in both lower extremities.

[sobbing] Please, you have to help me.

Sophia, I'm Dr. Hunt.
I know you're in a lot of pain.

This is killing me.

We're gonna do everything in our power
to make sure that won't happen.

[Sophia] No, no. My coat...
They took my white coat.

The one that lets everyone know
I'm gonna be a doctor.

I'll... I'll try to find it for you.

I didn't even get to wear it
at an actual hospital.

[crying] I can't feel my right leg,

and I'm only a first-year,
but that's really bad, right?

Trauma three, page neuro. Let's go.

- Dr. Winston Ndugu?
- Yes?

All right, let's make this quick.

I've got CCU rounds
and a consult in a bit, all right?

Gilbert, sorry for the delay.
I've had a lot of emergent cases today.

It's okay. I don't go anywhere anymore.

Strange places, loud noises,
sudden movements,

they all make my heart go...
[clicks tongue]

All right. We'll take care
of that tonight, all right?

Dr. Millin?

Uh, Gilbert Quincy, 41, intermittent,
rapid and irregular heart rate

accompanied by shortness of breath.

- Initial diagnosis is SVT...
- Hi.

...with AVRT that is resistant
to, uh, medication.

- The patient is scheduled for a, uh...
- [visitor] It's okay.

[Gilbert breathing shakily]

The patient is scheduled
for a... cardiac ablation.

[Gilbert sighs]

Well, you know we can see you, right?

Angela's a professional cuddler.

When the anti-anxiety meds
stopped working, I had to get creative.

Oh... [stammers]

You charge people to hug them?

Cuddling releases endorphins and oxytocin...

- [Gilbert sighs]
- ...which lowers stress and anxiety.

That's fascinating.

Or a racket.

Okay, Gilbert, we gotta check
on your labs, all right?

[sighs]

This is the worst possible time
to consider having a baby.

Work never stops, my written exams are
coming up and Luna's starting preschool...

Oh, my God, the diapers.

Do you know how many diapers we would need

if we had three kids
who aren't potty trained?

Try not to panic. This could be nothing.

Six diapers a day per kid.
That's, like, a thousand diapers a week.

- Not even close.
- How could this happen? I'm ob-gyn.

Half my job is to help women
not get pregnant.

- Oh, my God, here it is.
- You're spiraling.

How are you not?

It won't be easy, but we'll figure it out.

Also, we live in a state
where we have options.

If that's what you want, or not. I...
[sighs]

I just mean

we're in this together no matter what.

- [phone buzzes, chimes]
- Oh.

[groans] Patient with abdominal pain.

You do realize this doesn't work
if I take the test.

Sorry I'm late. Sophia, I'm Dr. Shepherd.

How are you feeling?

This isn't exactly
how I pictured my first trauma.

How are my X-rays?

Okay, no visible injury around the lungs,

no free fluid in the abdomen
or around the heart.

- She's a first-year med student.
- Got it. Um...

Wiggle your toes for me.

[Sophia] Are they moving?

Okay. Can you feel it when I touch here?

Mm-mmm. [whimpers]

- We need a CT right now.
- Okay.

[Sophia] I've wanted to be a surgeon
ever since I can remember.

I watched Whipples on YouTube as a kid.

Have you ever done one?

Oh, my God. Is that...

Yeah, the paramedics were gonna toss it,
but I got there just in time.

- [breathes shakily] It's so...
- Sophia. Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Deep breaths, okay? Stay still.

Deep breaths.
I'm gonna take you up to CT now.

Okay? Right now.
We're going now. Let's go.

[Grey] I don't think you understand.

My son is in the hospital.
I need a flight tonight.

Yes, I can hold.

Meredith?

Wh... What's going on?

Bailey needs an appendectomy.

He's with Nick in Boston.

- Can I help?
- Can you fly a plane?

- No. But let me call Catherine.
- No, I don't want to bother Catherine.

He's your son. Now, come on.

All right. Excuse me.

Dr. Schmitt, I finished the arm lac
in bed three. What's next?

We set up a fast track near bed seven
for the simpler cases.

You should be able
to move through that pretty quickly.

I was the fastest pre-rounder
in medical school.

[Schmitt] Hmm.

All right.

Hi. I'm Dr. Yasuda...

[both laughing]

[sighs]

[Sophia] Do you have any idea
how much I wanna be you?

[Adams] I haven't slept in two days.
You might wanna rethink that.

Have you ever wanted a thing
so much, it hurts?

Like... Like you can feel it in your body
when you're so close to getting it?

Yeah, I... I think I understand.

Then you know... [breathing shakily]
...you have to fix me.

Please.

[Hunt] Adams, let's go.

When you see a deck collapse on TV,
are you thinking, "Gee, that's sad,"

or are you happy because
of all the traumas? Be honest.

[clears throat, sighs]

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. [chuckles]

[monitors beeping]

Scans are up. Adams.

It looks like the wood partially severed
her spinal cord at T4 and T5.

Brown-Séquard syndrome.

It's an expanding hematoma
in her spinal cord

which means the blood supply is tenuous.

So what do you do?

We remove the foreign object,
we irrigate the hematoma,

we close her, and we hope for the best.

- Hope?
- [Hunt] Mmm.

What... You just... You just hope
that she's gonna be able to walk or stand?

Doing more could cause
her entire spinal cord to stroke out.

Or she could die from complications.

[sighs] This is her best option.
Let's book an OR.

Mm-hmm.

[sighs]

[yawns]

Tired, Griffith?

A little.

You should be. I checked your hours.
You're almost at your max. Go home.

I'm just waiting
for Eddie Oliver's MRI results.

You know what exhausted interns do?

Make mistakes.

Which makes my life messy.
You want my life to be messy, Griffith?

I will pass it off to Kwan
and then go home. [chuckles]

[sighs] I have to give you my patient.

Uh, if his MRI is clear,
he can be discharged. He's in bed four.

That bed's been empty for a while.

And you did nothing?

[scoffs] He wasn't my patient then.

Bailey will kill us if we let a drunk
medical student loose in the hospital.

- Find him.
- Uh... You lost him.

Shut up and help me.

[line ringing]

- [phone ringing]
- Hi.

How is he?

He's good. They took him to pre-op.

And not before he lobbied the nurse
for Popsicles after he wakes up.

- Well, I should be there by then.
- Good.

He'll be happy.

Well, I could have
been there sooner had I known.

Mer, we're gonna have
this conversation now?

Well, you took my kid to the hospital.

Yeah. He said his stomach hurt
on the way home from hockey practice.

I did a quick exam.
He had rebound tenderness.

I called Ankrom.
She said to bring him in. I mean...

You should have called me.

Yes, I could have.

I wanted to see what the doctor said
before I worried you.

- I am a doctor.
- Yes.

So am I.

I'm his mother. You call me.

Okay, copy that.

- The next time this happens...
- No next time.

If any decisions need to be made,
call me immediately.

[line beeps]

Sounded like that went well.

[Yasuda] Track this for me.

This side.

- Okay, good.
- [patient] Dead. Alive.

- Dead. Alive.
- [heart monitor flatlining]

- Dead. Alive.
- Don't do that.

- Dead.
- [heart monitor flatlining]

I've been running
the fast track area solo.

I heard. That's awesome.

Oh, is it? 'Cause so far,
I've been peed on, spit on, and hit on.

I mean, the first two
were accidents, but still.

Someone hit on you?

That's what you're concerned about?

Can you please swap me out?

- Let me see what I can do.
- Okay.

- Can I have a sandwich?
- No.

Back.

Wheelchair not a toy.

Hey. Gilbert Quincy still isn't prepped.

His heart rate kept going up
while she was doing the echo.

I suggest we wait another 30 minutes
before trying again.

Look, I've been on my feet
since 5:00 this morning

and I've got eight hours ahead of me.

I'm not going to shift around my schedule

because my patient needs
a human weighted blanket.

Uh... Angela, would you please
go check on Gilbert?

- We'll be in with you in a minute.
- [sighs]

Thank you.

You're an intern.
I give you a task, you do it. Understood?

Get the echo.

I will try again.

You know, actually, no.

You can do it intraoperatively
while he's asleep.

Excuse me?

I know what I'm about to say
is way out of line,

but it's late
and I think you need to hear it.

You used to be the coolest attending.
Everybody wanted to be on your service.

- But lately, you've kinda been a jerk.
- Correct. This is way out of line. Yes.

Okay, I am desperate to learn from you,
but not if it means being disrespected

or standing by
while you disrespect our patients.

Gilbert is in pain. He is scared.

And if paying someone to hug him
helps him with that, who are we to judge?

I want the patient prepped
within 20 minutes.

[Shepherd] Are you okay?

I've never been in an OR before.

Um... My... My dad said the OR
had an invisible energy.

- [Hunt chuckles]
- Like the Force in Star Wars.

Now I get it.

Well, what kind of surgeon is your dad?

Trauma. But he died two years ago.

Okay.

[Shepherd]
We are gonna start the anesthesia.

Are you ready?

Can you make sure
my coat is with my stuff?

I don't care if it's ruined.
I still wanna keep it.

- [Hunt] Of course.
- [Shepherd] Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I-I'm ready.

[scoffs] Eddie's MRI is clear.

[stammers] Maybe he went home.
Did you try and give him a call?

I have been with you.

[sighs] Okay. Give me the number.

Thank you.

[line rings]

- You have reached the voicemail of...
- Voicemail.

I can't believe I lost a patient.
Bailey is going to fire me.

Is he in a plaid shirt with a sling?

Is your missing patient wearing
a plaid shirt and a sling on his arm?

- Yes.
- Yeah, I saw him near the stairwell.

Uh, the one by the west elevator.
Goes to the roof.

- [sirens wailing]
- [door opens]

- [Kwan grunts, shudders]
- [Griffith scoffs]

[Kwan] Great. A windy outdoor version
of what we've been doing all night.

[Griffith pants] Oh, please.

[Kwan sighs]

- [Griffith] Hey.
- What?

Eddie.

Can you... come down from there?
We've got your MRI results.

Am I dying?

No, you're fine.

Let's go back in.

Yeah, we'll discharge you
and you can go home.

Eddie? [panting]

What if I didn't go home?

You thought losing him was bad?

How about the headline:
"Drunk Med Student Falls off Hospital"?

He's completely sober
according to his labs.

Or if I just...

let the wind decide?

[phone buzzes, chimes]

[Webber] Oh.

[grunts] Anything new?

Still in surgery.

I wish I could see into that OR.

The last thing a surgeon needs
is to have the patient's mom

looking over their shoulder.

Even more so if it's Meredith Grey.

Even the best hands make mistakes.

Bleeding. Perforations.
It's the middle of the night.

They're tired. Mistakes happen.

They could, but most
of the time they don't.

And most of the time,
people who need craniotomies get head CTs.

I'm sorry. I'm fine. I just...

It's just when things like this happen,
I know it's not Derek. I...

I understand. No apologies needed.

[Griffith] It's cold. Let's go in,
get some coffee. Find your friends.

I'm fine here.

We can't leave you here.

Hey, Eddie. Did you...

Did you come up here to hurt yourself?

I don't know.

- Are you having thoughts of suicide?
- I...

I guess.

Sometimes.

I'm here if you wanna talk. We both are.

Maybe you could sit down.
You've had a long night.

[Eddie] Seems darker up here.

The city.

[mouthing] Text Bailey.

Did you move here for med school
or is Seattle home?

[patient] You know, you're really pretty.

Yeah, thank you. Okay.

You like me?

Sure.

Don't touch that
'cause you're gonna open the sutures.

Okay?

- Stop. Stop. Okay. You know what?
- I'm not doing...

Your hand is contaminated
and if you're not gonna listen,

- I have to do this. I'm sorry, I have to.
- What...

This is just what has
to happen right now, okay?

This is malpractice.
Hey, she's malpracticing me.

Um. Can I get another banana bag, please?

[yelps]

[patient 2 chuckling]

No.

[scoffs]

Hey, baby.

Uh... I thought
you weren't working tonight.

[chuckles] Well, I could say
the same thing about you.

- [stammers]
- Yeah, they needed a sub.

Wow. That med student party
was a real rager, huh?

Yeah, I caught one of 'em trying
to order pizza over at bed four.

- [chuckles]
- Wait, Tuck's at home?

Did you remind him to lock the door
and turn on the alarm?

To...

Ah.

- You didn't think I remembered.
- [stammers, chuckles]

- [phone chimes]
- Oh.

- Uh-oh.
- What? What happened?

Interns found a missing
patient on the roof.

They're worried that he wants to jump off.

- Okay, well, tell 'em we're on the way.
- Okay. Uh...

[Hunt sighs]

Do you remember how it felt
to be that excited about surgery?

[Shepherd] Yeah, it was like a drug that,

unlike the other drugs I was into,
couldn't kill me.

- [Hunt chuckles]
- Prepare for the specimen.

I don't remember the last time
operating gave me that kind of rush.

Okay, removing the foreign object
in three.

One. Two. Three. [grunts]

- [Shepherd] Bovie.
- [Hunt] Irrigation.

[Shepherd] Let's get this bleeding
under control.

- Wash her out and get ready to close.
- [Hunt] Okay.

- And let's hope for the best.
- Okay.

[Hunt] These edges are cleaner
than I thought they'd be.

No significant tissue loss.
Bleeding's subsided.

You're gonna ask me
to do a primary repair, aren't you?

That's not the standard of care.

I saw a lot of penetrating injuries
like this in Iraq,

and I've seen primary repairs
work on nerves and extremities.

It doesn't come close to a spinal cord.

[Hunt] But if you were going to do it?

I would need an ORBEYE.

I'd use 10-0 nylon. Layer by layer
I would need to expose the spinal cord...

I can't guarantee the outcome.

There's risky, and then there's this.

[Adams] She'd want you to do it.

Sorry. But sh-she'd want you to try.

It would kill her to know
there was a chance and you didn't take it.

All right. This is gonna be long
and tedious.

I need an ORBEYE.

I need everyone in lockstep. Are you in?

- [Hunt] I suggested it.
- All right.

Okay.

[sighs] I can't look at it.

- Did you pee on this?
- Just read it.

It's negative.

Whew.

What happened to we're in this together?

You... You were spiraling.

Short of traveling back
and getting a vasectomy.

It was the only thing I could think of
to make you feel better.

The idea of having a baby
with me is so awful

you would rather have a vasectomy?

No. [stammers]

- A thousand diapers a week!
- That was an exaggeration!

Hi.

I love being a dad.

And as much as I would love
to do it all over again with you,

and only with you, I...

I'm tired. It's hard.

Just give me this.

[whispers] It's not negative.

You... You're pregnant?

- It's not positive either.
- Is there a third option?

One line is negative, two is positive.

- Th-There's no lines.
- It's a dud.

Oh.

[coughs]

[groans] Can... Can we slow down?

If we go any slower, we'll have to
push your surgery to tomorrow.

[stammering] Stop! Stop! I can't do this.
I can't. I have to get off.

- I have to...
- No, no, no.

You can do this. You can do this.

- Should we call Angela?
- No! No.

She charges by the hour.
I'm sorry, I'm really trying.

But my relaxation techniques aren't
even working and I'm... I can't breathe.

And my fingers are tingling. I'm...
I'm alone and I'm hot. Why is it so hot?

- Dr. Ndugu. What are you doing?
- [Ndugu] May I?

If his heart rate doesn't slow down,
he can go into defib.

- [hyperventilating]
- Come on. Breathe.

You're okay. You're okay. You're okay.
Breathe with me. Breathe with me.

- Breathe with me.
- [inhales deeply, exhales]

Yep.

Okay, nice and slow.

Good. Let's go.

- [Gilbert sighing]
- Here you go.

I remember my white coat ceremony,
my dad flew in.

But it was raining, so traffic was awful.

He walked in
right as I was reciting the oath.

Barely passed my biochem test.

It's okay.

I studied.

I even went to see a tutor.

I busted my ass
and I still couldn't even catch up.

Biochem is like learning another language.

So much reading.

So many tests.

You know, it's like I try to sleep,
but I can't.

I think, uh...

Say it.

Sometimes just saying it helps.

[scoffs]

I think I'm broken.

I don't deserve this anymore.

[gasps] Eddie!

[phone buzzes]

Oh... Damn it, Griffith.
I told her to go home.

Yeah, well,
it's a good thing she didn't listen.

Has he said anything
about wanting to jump?

[Kwan stammers]

- No.
- Good.

All right, well then,
keep doing what you're doing.

[Kwan] He's standing on a ledge.

There's a difference between
a suicide attempt and ideation.

All right. Right now, he's talking to her.

He's engaging with her
and answering her questions.

But he's-he's inches away
from a seven-story drop.

And if we abruptly change
the situation on him,

we might make it worse.

- So calm down. Keep him talking.
- [sighs]

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, look at me.
Look at me. Look at me.

- Hmm?
- Five. Four. Three.

- Two.
- [Bailey sighs]

One. Okay?

Any sign this becomes unstable...

We will intervene.

Hey.

Surgery went well.
The appendix didn't rupture.

- He's still out?
- You know him.

He could sleep through a monster truck
rally without anesthesia.

You can go.

I... I don't need to.

You can go.

Okay.

His... His vitals look good.

I'll... I'll let you two have some time,

but I'll be close
in case you need anything.

Thank you for getting me here.

And for listening to me.
And being there for me.

You know I would do more if I could.

I really am fine.

I mean, of course I miss him. I...

It's... It's just really only when the kids
wake up in the middle of the night.

And I don't have anyone to talk to. And...

Anyway, you helped me more than you know.

Aw, I was glad to do it.

But, uh, you know I wasn't the only one
you had to talk with.

- Mom?
- Hi.

How do you feel?

Where's Nick?

[Shepherd]
Pia mater has been approximated.

Cut please.

Wait. There's bleeding.

[Hunter] Suction.

[Shepherd] Wait, no suction.
No, it's too friable.

If we suction,
we could lose spinal nerve tissue.

- We need to stop the bleeding.
- We can irrigate

and then use Gelfoam
soaked in dexamethasone.

[Hunt] Let's keep it quiet.

We know it's been a long night,
but we're on the homestretch, okay?

- Bleeding has stopped. Gelfoam, please.
- [Hunt] Do you need a dural patch?

No, I'm good.

I can't believe I'm saying this,
but we can prep to close.

[Hunt sighs]

- You did it.
- We did.

All right, wait to see that work
before you start gloating up there.

- [Hunt] Hmm.
- [Shepherd] Okay. Irrigation.

How'd it go?

Good. Yeah. He's gonna wake up
a new person.

I don't think we would have
gotten him into the OR

if you hadn't jumped on the gurney
when you did.

Yeah, well, gotta be honest,
it's not my usual strategy.

Uh... Dr. Ndugu.

Um, I wanted to say that I am really sorry
for what I said earlier.

Not only was it inappropriate
and disrespectful, but...

It was right.

I haven't been bringing
my best self to work lately.

Things in my personal life
are complicated, but it's no excuse.

You... You don't
have to explain yourself to me.

No, I know. But I'm the coolest attending.

[both chuckle]

You did good work today.

[sighs]

[Griffith] You hungry?

Cafeteria has pretty good fries.

When did you feel like you were a doctor?

I don't know.
Maybe a couple of weeks into residency.

Someone called me doctor tonight.

Patient in the elevator.

Guess he just saw the coat and assumed.

I didn't correct him.

That's okay.

[Eddie] It's a sham.

Not even sure what I am anymore.

[sighs]

I'm a guy just...

just going through the motions.

I take light-rail to school.

And every morning, I think...

what if I just fell onto the tracks?

Everyone else has it all figured out.

But I don't.

I-I don't know how to live
with all of the, um...

Pressure and all the pain?

I didn't either.

A lot of people don't.

Doesn't matter how they make it look.

You're not alone.

And on most days,

I still don't feel like a doctor.

But I'm still here.

Let us get you some help.

Hmm?

[sighs]

[Eddie grunts]

[sobbing]

Hi.

Do you have a minute?

Two days.

- Excuse me?
- I've been with your kids for two days.

I got them to school.
I got them to practice and rehearsal.

I made sure they ate, they slept.

And when one of them felt sick,

out of an abundance of caution,
I brought him here.

Now, yes, I guess
I could have called on the way,

but I was busy making
arrangements with your nanny

to take care of Zola and Ellis.

- My kid was sick, and I wasn't here.
- [sighs] Mm-hmm.

And I feel really guilty about that.

I'm all they have.

But you're not.

I mean, yes, you're their mom. Of course.

But they have so many
people that love them.

Look, I know I'm not their father.

I know that, but I care about them a lot.

- And I want you to trust me with them.
- I do trust you.

It doesn't feel like it.

I'm sorry.

I panicked.

I actually came here to say I'm sorry.

["In Between" playing]

Because I know I panic.

And I was tired.

But I know that I said some things

that were probably
pretty unnecessary to say.

- So...
- A few things.

Okay. I've been doing
this a long time alone,

so it may just take me a minute to adjust.

Hey, come here.

Look, I got a minute.

- [sighs]
- Okay?

Okay.

♪ And now ♪

♪ Somewhere in between right here ♪

♪ Right here and now ♪

I'm not pregnant.

[sighs]

Are you disappointed?

I think I want another kid.

I thought you said
you didn't want biological kids.

I didn't, but this would be with you.

And you don't have to decide right now,

and I wouldn't want to do it
until Luna is a little bit older.

But I wanna do this right.

Us.

Which means I want you to know
everything that's in my head.

No matter how terrifying it might be.

♪ Here and now ♪

If you want to have a baby together, then...

I can get there.

[chuckles]

It's just gonna take me some time.

Okay.

[sighs] We still have to pick up
the babies we do have.

Right.

♪ Right here
Right here and now ♪

♪ Does anybody know
Where the pretty horses go? ♪

[Schmitt sighs]

I smell like puke
and I haven't had time to change.

Mmm. Too tired to notice.

[grunts, sighs]

Did you know fast track
was going to suck that much

when you assigned me?

My night wasn't much better.

[sighs]

Well, I should probably go back
to the hellish life I've chosen.

At least you're done with medical school.
[chuckling]

Amen to that.

Hey, I'm sorry about last night.

I tried to put you on that impalement
but my "co-chief" overruled me.

You actually repaired it.

Like, I'll be able to walk.

Our hope is you will regain full function.

[chuckles]

Can you wiggle your toes for me?

[Sophia] Am I doing it?

- [chuckles] Looks like it.
- [Shepherd chuckles]

I never thought performing a basic
motor function would make me so happy.

- [Sophia chuckles]
- Well, we will let you get some rest.

Let's do Q2 neuro checks
and an MRI in the morning.

Mm-hmm?

Maybe I should be a neurosurgeon.

Yeah, um, about that.

I got some bad news.

Third year of med school
is gonna break you.

[laughing] Bring it.

How's he doing?

He's okay.

Psych's evaluating him now.

What you said up there...

- If you ever want to talk about...
- I don't.

[sighs]

[sighs]

You being quiet is very unsettling.

Typical night shift or something specific?

Taryn, uh, betrayed me.

Helm cheated on you?

She blocked me
from getting a really good case.

That is... That is so much worse.

Yeah.

I haven't talked to her yet.

I am trying to stay calm.

- But I just...
- Can you give me your hand.

- [sighs] Why?
- Just give it to me.

[Yasuda scoffs]

[Millin] Okay.

[inhales deeply]

- [inhales sharply]
- [inhales deeply]

- [exhales deeply]
- [exhales]

It's acupressure.

My mom used to do it for me
when I was stressed,

and it's like one of only three things
she ever did that actually helped me.

[Grey] Much like the cells in our body,
humans often isolate to avoid harm.

What were the other two?

I can't think of them right now,
but I'm sure they exist.

Somewhere.

[Grey] The truth is, no single
part of the body can thrive on its own.

Your organs work together as a system.

They'll compensate for each other
when one gets weak.

- Hey. How're you doing?
- Hey.

Maggie told me that the divorce papers
are coming in today.

Hey, Sophia is doing well.

I haven't had a rush
like that in a long time.

- We should do that more often.
- You mean more tragedy?

I don't get trauma surgeons.

Hey. Morning. Are you exhausted?

Strangely, no.

Chief, you're on the schedule tomorrow.

TAVR. I emailed you the case.

- I'm cleared?
- You're cleared. [sighs]

And I need some time off.

- Right.
- Congratulations.

Thank you.

All right. I'm gonna go check my emails.

Oh, I left the laundry in the washer
and Leo's at a playdate,

but your mom's car is acting up,
so you need to pick him up.

Copy that.

[sighs] Back down to earth.

[Grey] People can do the same
for each other.

Stepping up when someone else is down.

You waited for me.

After that night?
[scoffs] Of course I did.

Come on.

There was a girl in my med school
that took her own life.

I didn't know her well,
but she was top of our class.

Like, a real overachiever.

Isn't that what medical schools want?
Overachievers and perfectionists?

Yeah, put them in a pressure cooker
and add unrealistic expectations.

That's a recipe for mental illness.

Especially if you're already struggling.

It's a good thing your residents
have you looking out for them.

It's a good thing
I have you looking out for me.

[Warren chuckles]

[Grey] Isolating ourselves
often makes us feel more alone.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Can we talk?

- I just had... I had a really long night.
- Right.

I'll... I'll go.

Wait.

♪ Enough ♪

♪ Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah ♪

- ♪ Enough, enough ♪
- ♪ Will we change? Will we change? ♪

- ♪ Enough ♪
- ♪ Will we change? ♪

♪ Enough ♪

- ♪ Will we change? ♪
- ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Enough ♪

♪ When I got the call from you ♪

♪ It was a shot to my heart ♪

[Griffith sighs]

[Grey] We're usually better together.

Even when we're struggling.

♪ Am I doin' my part? ♪

[song ends]

You are not alone.

If you or someone you know
is in crisis or needs support,

there are resources that can help you.

Call or text 988.

Or visit www.988lifeline.org

for the suicide and crisis lifeline.

For worldwide help visit
findahelpline.org.