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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:03,655 Previously on "Reginald the Vampire"... 2 00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,222 I've never felt like this before. 3 00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,441 He is everything in the world to me. 4 00:00:07,528 --> 00:00:09,008 I'm looking for a particular herb. 5 00:00:09,095 --> 00:00:10,096 It's called herb-of-the-cross. 6 00:00:10,183 --> 00:00:11,967 The blood we take can heal them 7 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,621 if we give it back. - Listen to me. 8 00:00:13,708 --> 00:00:14,840 Don't worry, Reginald. 9 00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,102 It'll be over 10 00:00:16,189 --> 00:00:17,756 before you know what hit you. 11 00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,279 There's no way that Sarah-- 12 00:00:19,366 --> 00:00:21,673 my Sarah-- is a vampire slayer. 13 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,936 Here. This'll calm you down. 14 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,214 Hey, Mr. Bluebird. 15 00:00:41,301 --> 00:00:44,174 Ain't life just grand? 16 00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:49,614 ♪ My name is Nikki ♪ 17 00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:52,486 ♪ His name is Reggie ♪ 18 00:00:52,573 --> 00:00:54,662 ♪ His voice is like an angel's ♪ 19 00:00:54,749 --> 00:00:59,450 ♪ Every word he says just melts me ♪ 20 00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,452 ♪ Oh, where is he? ♪ 21 00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:04,107 ♪ Have you seen him? ♪ 22 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:07,893 ♪ He left me at this hotel ♪ 23 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,547 ♪ While I was sleeping ♪ 24 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:11,940 ♪ But I'm gonna find him ♪ 25 00:01:12,027 --> 00:01:16,075 ♪ Even if it takes all day ♪ 26 00:01:16,162 --> 00:01:19,426 ♪ 'Cause I'm in love ♪ 27 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:23,082 ♪ With Reginald the vampire ♪ 28 00:01:23,169 --> 00:01:26,390 ♪ I've got new feelings ♪ 29 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:30,045 ♪ That he's inspired ♪ 30 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:33,614 ♪ And I'll give him all the love ♪ 31 00:01:33,701 --> 00:01:36,443 ♪ That he requires ♪ 32 00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:39,359 Once I find him. 33 00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,760 I'm going to make a wild guess. 34 00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,154 Just a stab in the dark, 35 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,895 you're looking for Reginald. 36 00:01:53,982 --> 00:01:56,159 About 5'5". Cute smile. 37 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,595 - Mm-hmm. - Bald. 38 00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:59,336 ♪ Yes, I am ♪ 39 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:03,209 ♪ Have you seen him? ♪ 40 00:02:04,645 --> 00:02:05,646 Yes. 41 00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:06,778 No. 42 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,736 Don't care. 43 00:02:11,652 --> 00:02:13,176 If I didn't have a busy morning planned 44 00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:14,438 looking for the man I love, 45 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:17,267 you and I would be knee-deep 46 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:20,139 in your intestines by now. 47 00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:27,364 Here you go. 48 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,756 - Thank you. - Have a good day. 49 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,458 Hi. Is Reginald here? 50 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:37,112 Why is everyone looking for Reginald? 51 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,636 If you were looking for someone, 52 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,899 wouldn't Reginald be your first choice? 53 00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,989 Probably not. 54 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:47,122 I mean, maybe, but no, probably not. 55 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,951 Do you know what's weird? - Every single time. 56 00:02:50,038 --> 00:02:52,040 I feel like I should be searching for someone, 57 00:02:52,127 --> 00:02:54,913 but I don't know who it is or why I feel like that. 58 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,654 But no matter what I do, 59 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,308 I can't get the idea outta my head. 60 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:02,181 Golly, that's interesting. 61 00:03:02,268 --> 00:03:03,748 And as much as I would love to stay 62 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,619 and dig deeper into your head... 63 00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:10,058 I must continue my search for Reginald, 64 00:03:10,145 --> 00:03:13,061 the bestest, kindest, roundest-- 65 00:03:13,148 --> 00:03:15,890 - Hi. I'm Claire. - Hi, Claire. 66 00:03:15,977 --> 00:03:17,240 Do you know where Reginald is? 67 00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:20,852 But I know him. 68 00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:23,028 We're basically best friends. 69 00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:24,899 Maybe you and me can talk for a while 70 00:03:24,986 --> 00:03:26,988 and that'll help you find him? 71 00:03:27,075 --> 00:03:28,599 Can I ask you a personal question? 72 00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,557 Ask away, little human. 73 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,342 You're a vampire. Don't try to it. 74 00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:34,692 - Statement, not a question. - Still-- 75 00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:37,738 What on Earth would make you think that? 76 00:03:37,825 --> 00:03:39,436 You've got an umbrella to keep you safe 77 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,264 from the sun, there's blood on your neck, 78 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,440 and you know Reginald's deepest, darkest secret, 79 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:44,919 like you were two of the same kind. 80 00:03:45,006 --> 00:03:46,443 You're not afraid of me. 81 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,662 - No. - You should be. 82 00:03:48,749 --> 00:03:50,490 I don't scare easy. 83 00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:52,144 Wait. 84 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:55,365 You want something from me. 85 00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:58,063 How brave you are. 86 00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,020 What do you want? Tell me everything. 87 00:03:59,107 --> 00:04:00,674 I'm fascinated. 88 00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:04,983 I feel nauseous and emotional. 89 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,811 I have this weird feeling all the time. 90 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,508 And I don't remember when it started, 91 00:04:08,595 --> 00:04:12,295 but every day it gets worse, bigger. 92 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:17,212 And I'm not saying that's because, you know, puberty-- 93 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,563 It isn't. 94 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,043 I can see that. 95 00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,610 I can smell it too. 96 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:24,698 You can smell feelings? 97 00:04:30,138 --> 00:04:31,531 Speaking of feelings, 98 00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:33,141 at the moment, 99 00:04:33,228 --> 00:04:34,926 mine are huge and uncontrollable, 100 00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:36,667 volcano-sized. 101 00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,277 And while I could sit here and talk for hours, 102 00:04:38,364 --> 00:04:40,192 I must instead go share this bounty 103 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,238 of my undying affections with my new lover. 104 00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:44,544 Wait. 105 00:04:44,631 --> 00:04:46,764 I have a proposition for you. 106 00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,635 It's a life or death situation. 107 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,899 Maybe we can get together, talk it over? 108 00:04:51,986 --> 00:04:54,902 What do you say to that? 109 00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:57,078 I'd say, 110 00:04:57,165 --> 00:04:59,603 how's about tonight? 111 00:05:02,562 --> 00:05:04,825 ♪ Oh, where is he? ♪ 112 00:05:04,912 --> 00:05:07,175 ♪ Have you seen him? ♪ 113 00:05:07,262 --> 00:05:10,918 ♪ He left me at this hotel ♪ 114 00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:12,790 While I was sleeping. 115 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:15,227 ♪ But I'm gonna find him ♪ 116 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:18,273 ♪ Even if it takes all day ♪ 117 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,454 What are you doing here, Nikki? 118 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,543 Delivering gifts to my new lover. 119 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,414 Is he here? 120 00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:30,721 Wait. You saved Reginald? 121 00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,113 Saved? 122 00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,421 I made sweet love to him 123 00:05:35,508 --> 00:05:38,250 until he purred like a hundred kittens. 124 00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:40,687 Or puppies, but puppies don't purr. 125 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,775 But if they did... 126 00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:47,085 Look, Nikki, I don't know how to explain this to you 127 00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,652 in a way you're gonna understand, 128 00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,872 but please, just do me the favor of trying. 129 00:05:53,874 --> 00:05:56,355 Okay, Mo-Mo. Spill. 130 00:05:56,442 --> 00:05:57,922 Okay. 131 00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,666 Reginald has a lot on his plate right now. 132 00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:04,885 Like I told him, The Assessment's coming up, 133 00:06:04,972 --> 00:06:06,931 and he needs to focus on his training, 134 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:10,500 because, as you know, if he fails that, 135 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,980 your "new lover" becomes your "permanently dead lover." 136 00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:17,028 Not to mention the most important thing of all, 137 00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:20,771 and I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but... 138 00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,468 look, Reggie has a girlfriend. 139 00:06:24,470 --> 00:06:27,299 Yeah, it's his vampire life goal. 140 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:31,564 Girlfriend? 141 00:06:31,651 --> 00:06:34,306 How human of him. 142 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,961 I'm sure we'll all get on famously. 143 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,137 Are you a couple sighs away from reaching the point yet? 144 00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:43,228 Look, Nikki, hear me like your life is at stake, okay? 145 00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:45,143 Stop messing with Reginald. He can't handle it. 146 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:52,019 Life. Stake. 147 00:06:52,106 --> 00:06:54,152 If I knew you were this funny, I would've come sooner. 148 00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,197 But all the same, it was really nice 149 00:06:56,284 --> 00:06:58,852 to have this chat with you, Maurice. 150 00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,683 Wait for it. 151 00:07:06,599 --> 00:07:08,819 Yeah. 152 00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:11,038 Yeah, it was nice meeting you too, Nikki. 153 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,823 It was nice. 154 00:07:14,955 --> 00:07:17,958 But Reginald is a big boy who can make his own decisions. 155 00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:20,744 And if you ever try to take him away from me again, 156 00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,181 it won't be such a pleasant chat next time. 157 00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,096 Hey, Reginald's not a toy. 158 00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,532 He can't make decisions for himself. 159 00:07:26,619 --> 00:07:28,316 He's still too human. 160 00:07:28,403 --> 00:07:30,231 Don't you remember how that felt? 161 00:07:30,318 --> 00:07:31,537 Thirsty and horny. 162 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,249 Miss, are you okay? 163 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:56,736 I'm okay. 164 00:07:58,738 --> 00:08:01,132 Uh, yeah. 165 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,315 Thank you. 166 00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:13,623 Reginald? 167 00:08:25,112 --> 00:08:28,594 It's Reg, but I can't answer the phone, so beep-- 168 00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:30,988 Reginald Andres. 169 00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,251 He's about 5'5". 170 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,645 Cute smile, bald. 171 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,385 We checked in last night. 172 00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:39,170 I haven't seen anyone leave this morning 173 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:40,475 that fits that description, 174 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,434 but if he comes by, 175 00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:45,306 I'll let him know you were looking for him. 176 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,311 Miss Kinney? - Hmm? 177 00:08:50,398 --> 00:08:52,487 You're all set. 178 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:53,706 Oh. 179 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,633 Come on. 180 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:08,895 I feel like... 181 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,549 Pretty sure we agreed 182 00:09:10,636 --> 00:09:11,942 that if I let you switch shifts with Ashley, 183 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,944 you'd be here early to open. 184 00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:15,467 Yeah. We talked about that, right? 185 00:09:18,905 --> 00:09:20,385 It wasn't a dream. 186 00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:22,300 What wasn't a dream? 187 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,389 Everything. 188 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,957 It's so------ up and surreal. 189 00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:29,350 My memories, my actions. 190 00:09:29,437 --> 00:09:31,004 I don't know what's happening to me. 191 00:09:31,091 --> 00:09:32,615 I have to find Reginald. 192 00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:34,704 Sarah. 193 00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,053 What the hell? 194 00:09:46,193 --> 00:09:48,239 I know it's been a while. 195 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:50,937 Oh, shit, I don't wanna start like that. 196 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,330 Every prayer starts like that 197 00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,985 when you haven't prayed in a while. 198 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:57,117 Honestly, 199 00:09:57,204 --> 00:10:00,904 this was the only thing I ever bought from you guys: 200 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:03,950 a guardian angel who watches over me. 201 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,822 That's just nice 202 00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:09,869 and doesn't strain credulity in any weird, obvious way. 203 00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:17,529 I know that you're not my therapist, 204 00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:21,446 or my priest, or my friend. 205 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:24,318 I don't know what you are, 206 00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:27,321 but I just need someone to listen. 207 00:10:29,019 --> 00:10:33,197 So if you're listening, 208 00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,242 my name is Sarah 209 00:10:35,329 --> 00:10:40,334 and my life has recently been weird. 210 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,686 I'm in love 211 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:47,254 with a man who orbits around that weirdness, 212 00:10:47,341 --> 00:10:51,824 or maybe the weirdness is on his axis, 213 00:10:51,911 --> 00:10:56,524 but... please protect me and Reginald. 214 00:10:58,265 --> 00:11:01,399 Make us both stronger than what we currently are 215 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,445 for each other and for ourselves. 216 00:11:06,273 --> 00:11:09,929 Whoever you are... 217 00:11:10,016 --> 00:11:11,626 thanks. 218 00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:15,630 And, um, till next time, or decade, 219 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:19,634 or personal crisis, 220 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,071 amen. 221 00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,204 Okay. 222 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,388 Hey, Sarah. 223 00:11:34,475 --> 00:11:37,217 I'm-- I'm looking for Reginald. 224 00:11:37,304 --> 00:11:39,567 You and me both. 225 00:11:39,654 --> 00:11:40,873 Come in. 226 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:50,056 It feels like a dream, 227 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:53,103 but the more the day goes by, the less it feels like that. 228 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,062 And this isn't even the first time 229 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,195 this has happened, 230 00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,545 these missing pieces inside my head. 231 00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:06,812 I don't understand what's happening to me. 232 00:12:06,899 --> 00:12:09,423 And sometimes, 233 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:13,688 I don't know if I wanna kiss him or kill him. 234 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:17,649 How's that even possible? 235 00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:20,086 That confusion you're feeling, 236 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,958 it will fade 237 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,482 until all you wanna do is kiss. 238 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,049 Okay? Trust me on that. 239 00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,312 But until it does, 240 00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:30,444 maybe just keep your distance. 241 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:33,796 I... 242 00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:39,018 I would never... 243 00:12:39,105 --> 00:12:42,543 hurt Reginald. 244 00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:44,937 I care so much about him. 245 00:12:45,024 --> 00:12:48,636 And that's something that grows and grows, 246 00:12:48,723 --> 00:12:52,118 so why would I ever do anything to ruin that? 247 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,685 I don't understand. 248 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,384 Sarah, 249 00:12:57,471 --> 00:12:59,778 if you let me, 250 00:12:59,865 --> 00:13:03,869 I can make sure this never happens to you again. 251 00:13:03,956 --> 00:13:05,044 Promise? 252 00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,458 Reginald-- 253 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,200 ♪ Good morning ♪ 254 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,115 ♪ Good morning ♪ 255 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:36,554 ♪ Such a glorious day ♪ - Aah! 256 00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,556 ♪ Good morning ♪ 257 00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:42,081 ♪ Good morning ♪ 258 00:13:42,168 --> 00:13:44,431 ♪ Don't waste it all away ♪ 259 00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:49,219 ♪ Turn on the radio ♪ 260 00:13:53,353 --> 00:13:56,922 ♪ Let's all enjoy this happy day ♪ 261 00:13:57,009 --> 00:13:58,750 ♪ Good morning ♪ 262 00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,970 ♪ Good morning ♪ 263 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,797 ♪ Good morning ♪ 264 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,104 ♪ Good morning ♪ 265 00:14:05,191 --> 00:14:07,019 ♪ Good morning ♪ 266 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,047 Good morning, sir. How can-- 267 00:14:35,134 --> 00:14:36,092 Sarah Kinney! 268 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,094 Has she checked out yet? 269 00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,399 Sarah Kinney. 270 00:14:39,486 --> 00:14:40,966 Yes. 271 00:14:41,053 --> 00:14:42,794 She checked out this morning, Reginald. 272 00:14:45,579 --> 00:14:47,494 Ah, you might want to put on pants 273 00:14:47,581 --> 00:14:49,105 before you go outside. 274 00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,976 Pants are customary inside too, 275 00:14:51,063 --> 00:14:52,543 but not much I can do about-- 276 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,310 - Excuse me. - Hey. 277 00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:21,789 - Smock up, friendo. - Uh-- 278 00:15:21,876 --> 00:15:23,095 I'm not gonna thank you, Reginald, 279 00:15:23,182 --> 00:15:24,444 but with the day I've been having-- 280 00:15:24,531 --> 00:15:25,576 I mean, the whole week actually-- 281 00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,099 it almost makes me want to. 282 00:15:27,186 --> 00:15:28,100 What's with the umbrella? 283 00:15:28,187 --> 00:15:29,275 Have you seen Sarah? 284 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,885 I wanna talk to the manager. 285 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,626 You just missed her. First she shows up late 286 00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,367 for her switch shift with Ashley, acting all crazy, 287 00:15:34,454 --> 00:15:35,847 and then she just walked out the door. 288 00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:37,327 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 289 00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:39,242 Is this some weird game between you two? 290 00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:41,244 Because I do have the power to fire you both. 291 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:44,073 Todd, look. Thank you. 292 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,511 I sympathize. I totally understand. 293 00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:48,860 Thanks, man, that actually means a lot 294 00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,383 that you're listening--what? 295 00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:51,906 Where are you going, Reg? 296 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,212 No, no, no, no, no, no. Come back, please. 297 00:15:53,299 --> 00:15:55,388 Please, Reg! Reg! Reg! Reg! 298 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,131 Yeesh. 299 00:15:59,218 --> 00:16:01,481 - You missed training. - Have you seen Sarah anywhere? 300 00:16:01,568 --> 00:16:03,005 I'm trying to find her, and she's not at her apartment, 301 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,703 or the Slushy Shack, or where I left her. 302 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,487 What if she's hurt? 303 00:16:07,574 --> 00:16:08,967 What if I'm going crazy? 304 00:16:09,054 --> 00:16:10,925 What if you die at The Assessment? 305 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,275 I don't have time for that right now. 306 00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:13,406 Reggie, get ahold of yourself. 307 00:16:13,493 --> 00:16:14,929 The Assessment is literally 308 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,148 the only damn thing you have time for. 309 00:16:16,235 --> 00:16:18,455 And it was going so well. 310 00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:19,543 Nice dinner. 311 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:21,153 We got to the hotel room. 312 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,503 And then she went to the bathroom, 313 00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:25,723 where she tried to kill me! 314 00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,681 Start from the beginning. Slowly. 315 00:16:27,768 --> 00:16:29,074 What happened last night? 316 00:16:31,685 --> 00:16:34,123 Sarah and I had a date at the hotel restaurant. 317 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,559 We went up to the room together. 318 00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,430 We were about to get in bed 319 00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:40,303 when she went into the bathroom and came back with a stake 320 00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:43,001 and tried to stab me through the heart with it. 321 00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:44,611 She wasn't herself. 322 00:16:44,698 --> 00:16:46,439 She was insane, 323 00:16:46,526 --> 00:16:47,875 so I got out of there, locked her in a closet 324 00:16:47,962 --> 00:16:49,573 so she wouldn't try to kill me. 325 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:53,098 But then, I came back to find her this morning, 326 00:16:53,185 --> 00:16:55,753 and she was gone. 327 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,452 But this was right where she left it. 328 00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:03,021 It's like someone glamoured her, 329 00:17:03,108 --> 00:17:05,763 but who would glamour Sarah like that? 330 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:07,634 Angela. 331 00:17:07,721 --> 00:17:10,985 Angela would glamour Sarah like that. 332 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,031 She saw an opportunity to make a move 333 00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:15,468 when you were most vulnerable, and she made it. 334 00:17:15,555 --> 00:17:17,470 Angela turned Sarah into her killer, 335 00:17:17,557 --> 00:17:18,558 and you were the target. 336 00:17:18,645 --> 00:17:19,951 How do you know that? 337 00:17:21,561 --> 00:17:23,650 Wait a sec. 338 00:17:23,737 --> 00:17:25,957 You talked to Sarah already, didn't you? 339 00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:27,611 Yeah. 340 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,482 Yeah, Sarah's looking for you, 341 00:17:29,569 --> 00:17:31,789 but I wanted to hear your version of last night first. 342 00:17:33,834 --> 00:17:36,272 Look, the thing with this sort of glamour is-- 343 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,187 well, there's a chance that Sarah might still have 344 00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,363 a homicidal urge or two, okay? 345 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,756 And I strongly encourage you to wait a few days 346 00:17:42,843 --> 00:17:44,410 just to make sure it's fully worn off. 347 00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:53,811 I don't have time for that. 348 00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:55,073 Reggie. 349 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,179 Reginald! 350 00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,193 I've been looking for you everywhere. 351 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:39,161 ♪ My name is Nikki ♪ 352 00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:42,512 ♪ His name is Reggie ♪ 353 00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:44,340 I think we should go somewhere more private. 354 00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:46,211 We've got a lot to talk about. 355 00:18:46,298 --> 00:18:49,606 - Oh, okay. Yeah. - ♪ He says that he loves me ♪ 356 00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,363 Once I find him. 357 00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,586 Hey, what the hell happened last night? 358 00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:15,153 That's ancient history. 359 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,894 You know, ages ago. - It was last night. 360 00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,722 Well, you know what, time is an elastic concept, 361 00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,593 and I feel like the way we perceive time 362 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,726 is, uh, you know. 363 00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:24,118 You know, it was like I was there 364 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,903 and not there at the same time. 365 00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,339 And Reginald, I think I tried to hurt you last night, 366 00:19:27,426 --> 00:19:29,036 but that can't be true, can it? 367 00:19:29,123 --> 00:19:30,386 Hey, think we could table this conversation 368 00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:32,083 a bit longer so I can experience 369 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,606 the greatest thing that's ever gonna happen to me. 370 00:19:33,693 --> 00:19:35,042 I feel like hopes are high. 371 00:19:35,129 --> 00:19:37,088 - It's your first time. - Mm-hmm. 372 00:19:38,437 --> 00:19:40,047 Follow my lead. 373 00:19:40,134 --> 00:19:41,310 Ah. 374 00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:42,746 Ah. 375 00:19:45,531 --> 00:19:48,230 What are you looking at? 376 00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:49,492 Your neck. 377 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:51,363 Is that weird? 378 00:19:51,450 --> 00:19:52,756 Oh, okay. 379 00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,497 When you close your eyes... - Yeah. 380 00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,455 Do you see pointy sticks? 381 00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:59,328 No, I see a nice neck. 382 00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:01,852 And I wanna kiss it. 383 00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:04,855 Aw. 384 00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:06,248 Mm. 385 00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:14,778 There's a blank space 386 00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:17,607 between the way you and me in the hotel room 387 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:21,175 and me waking up in the closet the next morning. 388 00:20:24,918 --> 00:20:29,183 Well, we had dinner and drinks. 389 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,663 Then, we went up to the room, 390 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,057 where, you know, you sort of fell asleep 391 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:36,234 before we could do anything. 392 00:20:36,321 --> 00:20:38,410 Maybe someone put something in my drink? 393 00:20:38,497 --> 00:20:40,760 - Mm-mm-mm. - I can't remember. 394 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:46,636 Well, I woke up and you were gone, so... 395 00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,202 In the closet. 396 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,814 I don't know how I got there, 397 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,599 but I'm pretty sure that I was attacked 398 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:57,429 by the same woman who sang with us at the karaoke bar. 399 00:20:57,516 --> 00:21:00,737 But that's crazy, right? 400 00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:04,436 I mean... 401 00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:06,482 I gotta find out what happened to me. 402 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:50,961 Hmm. 403 00:21:51,048 --> 00:21:53,093 You're fast. 404 00:21:53,180 --> 00:21:55,748 Double solitaire is my jam. 405 00:21:55,835 --> 00:21:59,317 It's like you memorized every card in both decks. 406 00:21:59,404 --> 00:22:01,058 I maybe just have a really great memory. 407 00:22:01,145 --> 00:22:03,060 No shit. 408 00:22:03,147 --> 00:22:05,367 Okay, I surrender 409 00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:08,370 to your strangely superior gameplay. 410 00:22:08,457 --> 00:22:10,981 Okay, I accept your surrender. 411 00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,117 Oh, they're everywhere. 412 00:22:22,732 --> 00:22:24,342 This is perfect. 413 00:22:24,429 --> 00:22:25,996 Close enough. 414 00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:29,782 No, I mean literal perfection. 415 00:22:29,869 --> 00:22:31,828 It's, like, happiness times infinity. 416 00:22:31,915 --> 00:22:34,874 And I don't even know what that equals, but I... 417 00:22:34,961 --> 00:22:38,748 I like you too, Reginald. 418 00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:40,793 That's a lot better than wanting to kill me, right? 419 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,056 So progress? 420 00:22:43,143 --> 00:22:45,232 Mm. 421 00:22:53,893 --> 00:22:57,114 What's with that weird umbrella? 422 00:22:57,201 --> 00:23:00,857 Oh, this is a parasol actually. 423 00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:03,207 I don't remember you having a parasol. 424 00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:06,036 I suffer from solar urticaria. 425 00:23:06,123 --> 00:23:07,646 Solar what-now? 426 00:23:07,733 --> 00:23:09,953 Urticaria? 427 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,346 Um, basically, exposure to sunlight, 428 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,784 uh, I'm allergic to it. 429 00:23:17,656 --> 00:23:19,310 I get hives. 430 00:23:20,790 --> 00:23:22,269 Do they itch? 431 00:23:25,664 --> 00:23:27,840 He is the most gentle of lovers, 432 00:23:27,927 --> 00:23:29,407 and I've had more than my share. 433 00:23:29,494 --> 00:23:31,757 Except I often kill them after. 434 00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:33,542 But I made an exception this time 435 00:23:33,629 --> 00:23:36,327 because there's something about him that moves me. 436 00:23:36,414 --> 00:23:38,895 It moved me from the moment I heard him sing. 437 00:23:38,982 --> 00:23:40,374 Reginald? 438 00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:41,811 You're talking about Reginald Andres? 439 00:23:43,290 --> 00:23:44,335 He is my new lover. 440 00:23:44,422 --> 00:23:45,597 Wow. 441 00:23:45,684 --> 00:23:47,686 Just... wow. 442 00:23:47,773 --> 00:23:49,514 But enough about me. 443 00:23:49,601 --> 00:23:51,560 Tell me about this life or death proposition 444 00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:53,692 you wish to offer me, which is, of course, 445 00:23:53,779 --> 00:23:55,172 my favorite kind. 446 00:23:55,259 --> 00:23:56,956 I wanna be a vampire like you are. 447 00:23:57,043 --> 00:23:58,305 Of course you do. 448 00:23:58,392 --> 00:23:59,829 That's not a business proposition. 449 00:23:59,916 --> 00:24:01,526 That's a fever dream of the first order. 450 00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:06,139 Why are you dreaming this dream? 451 00:24:06,226 --> 00:24:07,793 - Do I have to tell? - Yes. 452 00:24:09,534 --> 00:24:11,449 Because it's the only way for me to fight evil. 453 00:24:14,408 --> 00:24:18,543 But you understand, we don't fight evil. 454 00:24:18,630 --> 00:24:21,677 We are evil. 455 00:24:21,764 --> 00:24:24,723 In the most delightful way, however, biblical in origin. 456 00:24:24,810 --> 00:24:26,464 Personally, current distinctions 457 00:24:26,551 --> 00:24:27,987 between good and evil leave a lot to be desired. 458 00:24:28,074 --> 00:24:30,294 I need to fight this fight. 459 00:24:30,381 --> 00:24:32,731 And I would love to turn you-- 460 00:24:32,818 --> 00:24:34,994 and we could fight together-- 461 00:24:35,081 --> 00:24:38,041 but one does not turn without preparation. 462 00:24:38,128 --> 00:24:40,173 One does not turn before one is ready. 463 00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:41,871 You are the "one" in this formulation 464 00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:42,959 if you didn't know. 465 00:24:43,046 --> 00:24:44,090 I know. 466 00:24:44,177 --> 00:24:46,615 So prepare, Claire. 467 00:24:46,702 --> 00:24:48,660 That rhymes. 468 00:24:48,747 --> 00:24:51,271 Prepare, and when you're of age, 469 00:24:51,358 --> 00:24:54,144 I will most definitely grant your wish-- 470 00:24:54,231 --> 00:24:56,581 but only when you're ready for the everlasting life 471 00:24:56,668 --> 00:24:57,800 and everything that comes with it... 472 00:25:01,151 --> 00:25:02,282 I smell sulfur. 473 00:25:09,899 --> 00:25:11,074 What lives beyond this door? 474 00:25:11,161 --> 00:25:12,379 My mom. She's sleeping. 475 00:25:12,466 --> 00:25:14,643 Wait! 476 00:25:14,730 --> 00:25:16,166 Definitely sulfur. 477 00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:19,604 How often does it come? 478 00:25:19,691 --> 00:25:20,866 Most nights. 479 00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:22,346 I don't know how to stop it. 480 00:25:22,433 --> 00:25:23,695 And how's your mother afterwards? 481 00:25:23,782 --> 00:25:25,088 Different, but she's still my mom. 482 00:25:29,745 --> 00:25:31,660 I once heard rumor of a child vampire 483 00:25:31,747 --> 00:25:34,097 who terrorized all of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. 484 00:25:34,184 --> 00:25:37,274 I promise not to terrorize anyone who doesn't deserve it. 485 00:25:37,361 --> 00:25:38,971 I believe you. 486 00:25:49,416 --> 00:25:50,548 Hello, lover! 487 00:25:52,724 --> 00:25:55,771 I'm thrilled that you're here. 488 00:25:55,858 --> 00:25:57,599 I'm giving back your parasol. 489 00:26:02,038 --> 00:26:03,126 We need to talk. 490 00:26:03,213 --> 00:26:04,954 Speak to me, roundish lover. 491 00:26:05,041 --> 00:26:08,566 I can't be your lover. 492 00:26:08,653 --> 00:26:10,307 I promise not to kill you, if that's a concern. 493 00:26:10,394 --> 00:26:13,266 Which is sweet, but... 494 00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:16,835 Look, 495 00:26:16,922 --> 00:26:19,446 it's not you. 496 00:26:19,533 --> 00:26:23,102 It's me. 497 00:26:23,189 --> 00:26:25,496 "It's not you. 498 00:26:25,583 --> 00:26:28,325 It's me"? 499 00:26:28,412 --> 00:26:30,457 Basically sums it up, reversing the me/you polarity 500 00:26:30,544 --> 00:26:31,502 of course. 501 00:26:33,983 --> 00:26:35,985 That's sounds like something humans would say 502 00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:37,856 when they're confused about their place in the universe 503 00:26:37,943 --> 00:26:39,945 or trying to get out of a bad date. 504 00:26:42,731 --> 00:26:44,254 But we're not humans, 505 00:26:44,341 --> 00:26:47,692 you and I, 506 00:26:47,779 --> 00:26:51,043 so how could that possibly be relevant? 507 00:26:53,219 --> 00:26:56,527 Well, that was worth a shot. 508 00:26:56,614 --> 00:26:58,834 I should go. 509 00:27:03,447 --> 00:27:04,666 Wait. 510 00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:10,454 You brought me tribute. 511 00:27:10,541 --> 00:27:12,282 Surely there's something I can give you in return? 512 00:27:12,369 --> 00:27:13,805 It's just an umbrella. 513 00:27:13,892 --> 00:27:14,806 Parasol. 514 00:27:14,893 --> 00:27:16,852 Right, but... 515 00:27:19,245 --> 00:27:22,379 Quench your undying thirst before you go. 516 00:27:22,466 --> 00:27:24,947 Drink from me. 517 00:27:27,471 --> 00:27:29,734 Love is a mystery unlike any other, 518 00:27:29,821 --> 00:27:33,607 but I think I understand my place in it now. 519 00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:36,175 Yes, it was your voice and the song you sang, 520 00:27:36,262 --> 00:27:39,570 but over time, I've come to recognize a difference. 521 00:27:39,657 --> 00:27:42,399 Your intelligence impresses me. 522 00:27:42,486 --> 00:27:46,359 Your sense of humor amuses me. 523 00:27:46,446 --> 00:27:49,798 And there's something else I can't quite put my finger on. 524 00:27:52,496 --> 00:27:54,498 - I'm plus-sized? - That's it! 525 00:27:54,585 --> 00:27:57,762 I love your shape because there's so much of you. 526 00:27:57,849 --> 00:27:59,111 The more you are, 527 00:27:59,198 --> 00:28:00,983 the more there is for me to love. 528 00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:03,072 This doesn't feel like love. 529 00:28:03,159 --> 00:28:04,160 Blood is life. 530 00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,553 It fills us with power. 531 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,295 In my recent experience, 532 00:28:09,382 --> 00:28:12,472 love is like blood. 533 00:28:12,559 --> 00:28:14,474 It fills me up. 534 00:28:14,561 --> 00:28:15,911 Drink. 535 00:28:15,998 --> 00:28:17,129 Drink until you're full. 536 00:28:23,832 --> 00:28:26,138 ♪ Pump, pump it up ♪ 537 00:28:26,225 --> 00:28:28,488 ♪ Pump, pump it up ♪ 538 00:28:28,575 --> 00:28:29,968 ♪ Pump, pump it up ♪ 539 00:28:30,055 --> 00:28:31,274 ♪ Party on the block, bro ♪ 540 00:28:31,361 --> 00:28:33,363 ♪ Pump it up ♪ 541 00:28:33,450 --> 00:28:35,669 ♪ Pump, pump it up ♪ 542 00:28:35,757 --> 00:28:38,237 ♪ Pump, pump it up ♪ 543 00:28:38,324 --> 00:28:40,370 ♪ Pump, pump it up ♪ 544 00:28:40,457 --> 00:28:44,156 Monogamy is for humans, not vampires. 545 00:28:44,243 --> 00:28:48,291 Why should I limit myself when I've got the perfect setup? 546 00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:52,904 She gives me blood, she gives me kisses. 547 00:28:52,991 --> 00:28:55,211 Put 'em together-- 548 00:28:55,298 --> 00:28:57,256 the perfect woman. 549 00:28:57,343 --> 00:28:59,041 Sucking and-------, 550 00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:01,260 that is the vampire life. 551 00:29:01,347 --> 00:29:03,001 Are we gonna work out or what? 552 00:29:03,088 --> 00:29:05,003 Sure, Reggie. 553 00:29:05,090 --> 00:29:06,744 We'll work out because the damn Assessment 554 00:29:06,831 --> 00:29:09,529 is right around the corner, and if you fail that, 555 00:29:09,616 --> 00:29:11,140 you have all the time in the world 556 00:29:11,227 --> 00:29:13,011 'cause you'll be dead, 557 00:29:13,098 --> 00:29:14,317 and I'll be dead too. 558 00:29:14,404 --> 00:29:16,362 Maybe I might surprise you. 559 00:29:19,061 --> 00:29:21,193 Baby. 560 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,979 Lemme get the door. 561 00:29:24,066 --> 00:29:27,243 ♪ La, la, la, la, ooh, la, la ♪ 562 00:29:27,330 --> 00:29:30,159 ♪ Nothing in this world is for free ♪ 563 00:29:30,246 --> 00:29:31,725 ♪ You always pay a price ♪ 564 00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:33,771 No! Missy, you have two guns! That's not fair. 565 00:29:33,858 --> 00:29:35,991 There's no rules! Suck it! 566 00:29:36,078 --> 00:29:37,731 Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no! 567 00:29:37,819 --> 00:29:39,733 Skrrt--shit! 568 00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:42,171 ♪ Love ♪ 569 00:29:42,258 --> 00:29:43,694 ♪ Love is a drug ♪ 570 00:29:46,305 --> 00:29:48,699 ♪ Love ♪ 571 00:29:48,786 --> 00:29:51,745 ♪ Love is a drug ♪ 572 00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:53,269 ♪ Love is a drug ♪ 573 00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:58,187 ♪ Love ♪ 574 00:29:58,274 --> 00:29:59,753 ♪ Love is a drug ♪ 575 00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:01,712 ♪ Love ♪ 576 00:30:01,799 --> 00:30:04,541 ♪ Love is a drug ♪ all: ♪ Love is a drug ♪ 577 00:30:04,628 --> 00:30:07,718 ♪ Love is a drug ♪ 578 00:30:07,805 --> 00:30:09,459 ♪ Love is a drug ♪ 579 00:30:11,635 --> 00:30:13,463 We should go out. 580 00:30:13,550 --> 00:30:16,553 I think I told you about my sunlight allergy, right? 581 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:19,556 Is that a new umbrella? 582 00:30:19,643 --> 00:30:21,863 What happened to your parasol? 583 00:30:21,950 --> 00:30:23,603 I lost it. 584 00:30:23,690 --> 00:30:26,389 We could go to the park or our favorite bench. 585 00:30:26,476 --> 00:30:28,521 We have night shifts, so... 586 00:30:28,608 --> 00:30:31,002 We could, but I'm just so happy 587 00:30:31,089 --> 00:30:32,830 being here with you. 588 00:30:32,917 --> 00:30:35,093 Except for all the times you mysteriously dash off 589 00:30:35,180 --> 00:30:36,529 and leave me. 590 00:30:36,616 --> 00:30:38,488 I have a very strict workout regimen 591 00:30:38,575 --> 00:30:42,318 that requires all my focus and dedication. 592 00:30:48,367 --> 00:30:50,892 Whoa! Reginald, are you okay? 593 00:30:50,979 --> 00:30:52,154 I'll be right back. 594 00:31:00,727 --> 00:31:02,816 What's wrong? 595 00:31:14,785 --> 00:31:16,743 Hello, Todd. 596 00:31:16,830 --> 00:31:18,658 Every time I go for a run, 597 00:31:18,745 --> 00:31:21,574 I end up running here, 598 00:31:21,661 --> 00:31:23,576 but I don't know why I do that. 599 00:31:23,663 --> 00:31:25,274 That feeling will fade. 600 00:31:25,361 --> 00:31:27,015 Trust me. 601 00:31:27,102 --> 00:31:30,279 I trust you more than any person I've ever met, 602 00:31:30,366 --> 00:31:33,369 which is weird, right? 603 00:31:33,456 --> 00:31:36,285 I mean, I don't even know your name. 604 00:31:36,372 --> 00:31:37,982 Maurice. 605 00:31:38,069 --> 00:31:40,637 Hi, Maurice. 606 00:31:40,724 --> 00:31:42,900 Goodbye, Todd. 607 00:31:42,987 --> 00:31:46,425 Uh, can I come in, please? 608 00:31:46,512 --> 00:31:48,253 No. 609 00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:50,386 Not today. Not in your current condition. 610 00:31:50,473 --> 00:31:51,778 Next time I go for a run, 611 00:31:51,865 --> 00:31:53,824 I'm gonna end up running right back here, 612 00:31:53,911 --> 00:31:55,608 no matter what I try to do. 613 00:31:55,695 --> 00:31:57,001 I know. 614 00:32:08,926 --> 00:32:10,058 What? 615 00:32:20,285 --> 00:32:21,373 Is this weird? 616 00:32:21,460 --> 00:32:23,288 I bathe multiple times a day. 617 00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:24,550 No, I mean us. 618 00:32:24,637 --> 00:32:27,553 Us is perfect. Don't you think? 619 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,468 Well, I don't really know anything about you 620 00:32:29,555 --> 00:32:33,298 except that Angela hired you to kill me, but you didn't. 621 00:32:33,385 --> 00:32:36,040 What do you wanna know about me, roundish lover? 622 00:32:36,127 --> 00:32:38,521 Something unbelievable. 623 00:32:38,608 --> 00:32:42,786 I have 222 secrets. 624 00:32:45,658 --> 00:32:46,964 Tell me one of them. 625 00:32:52,752 --> 00:32:54,928 Once upon a time, 626 00:32:55,016 --> 00:32:58,193 a fearsome vampire, Logan, decided he was made 627 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,934 for the bigger and bestest things, 628 00:33:01,022 --> 00:33:03,589 but his great rival, Abraham, 629 00:33:03,676 --> 00:33:07,376 held the utmost deacon of the Americas. 630 00:33:07,463 --> 00:33:09,639 Abraham was a vampire of legend, 631 00:33:09,726 --> 00:33:11,597 oldest of our kind, 632 00:33:11,684 --> 00:33:15,384 one possessed of unimaginable powers. 633 00:33:15,471 --> 00:33:19,301 Abraham could turn a vampire back to human, 634 00:33:19,388 --> 00:33:21,781 like a God or an angel might do. 635 00:33:24,132 --> 00:33:27,004 Logan hired me and my partner, Stanley, 636 00:33:27,091 --> 00:33:29,963 to find Abraham and kill him deader than dirt. 637 00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:32,749 Stanley was vicious. 638 00:33:32,836 --> 00:33:35,360 And kind. 639 00:33:35,447 --> 00:33:37,493 He had white patch in his hair, and nobody called him "Patchy," 640 00:33:37,580 --> 00:33:38,537 and that's sad. 641 00:33:41,062 --> 00:33:43,934 We found Abraham in a place far from here 642 00:33:44,021 --> 00:33:46,328 called Spokane, Washington. 643 00:33:46,415 --> 00:33:49,244 Stanley went ahead, as was our custom. 644 00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:54,510 He was truly the best killer-diller of all. 645 00:33:56,555 --> 00:34:00,081 But Stanley was lost that day 646 00:34:00,168 --> 00:34:03,040 and never found. 647 00:34:03,127 --> 00:34:05,216 And I was trapped by phantoms, and ghosts, 648 00:34:05,303 --> 00:34:09,220 and everything upside down, 649 00:34:09,307 --> 00:34:11,092 so I ran away from that haunted place 650 00:34:11,179 --> 00:34:14,573 as fast as my feet could run. 651 00:34:14,660 --> 00:34:17,141 Phantoms and ghosts? 652 00:34:17,228 --> 00:34:20,318 I was afraid. 653 00:34:20,405 --> 00:34:22,973 I've never been afraid a single time since that day, 654 00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:26,629 but I will never forget the feeling. 655 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:30,633 On the plus side, 656 00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:33,157 Abraham was never heard from again, 657 00:34:33,244 --> 00:34:35,333 and Logan took his council seat, 658 00:34:35,420 --> 00:34:38,858 and maybe Stanley did not die for nothing. 659 00:34:38,945 --> 00:34:40,512 The end. 660 00:34:46,866 --> 00:34:51,088 I have 221 secrets. 661 00:34:53,264 --> 00:34:55,484 What's the sitch with Reginald? 662 00:34:55,571 --> 00:34:57,181 He's supposed to be here. I don't know what happened. 663 00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,751 All right, there you go. Cheers. 664 00:35:01,838 --> 00:35:03,448 Have you ever felt like something happened to you, 665 00:35:03,535 --> 00:35:05,015 but it didn't happen at the same time, 666 00:35:05,102 --> 00:35:07,409 but you have no idea why you feel like that? 667 00:35:07,496 --> 00:35:08,801 All the time. 668 00:35:10,673 --> 00:35:13,066 I would very much like to purchase a delicious slushy 669 00:35:13,154 --> 00:35:14,590 for my new lover. 670 00:35:24,208 --> 00:35:27,211 Does your new lover have a favorite flavor? 671 00:35:27,298 --> 00:35:29,822 As a matter of fact, beverage servant, 672 00:35:29,909 --> 00:35:32,782 nothing tickles his taste buds like a Pineapple Surprise. 673 00:35:51,017 --> 00:35:52,497 Hey, Sarah! 674 00:35:52,584 --> 00:35:53,890 You read my mind. 675 00:35:53,977 --> 00:35:55,370 How did you do that? 676 00:35:55,457 --> 00:35:57,546 Three is truly the happiest number. 677 00:35:57,633 --> 00:35:59,025 In case you're wondering, I'm referring 678 00:35:59,112 --> 00:36:00,418 to the three-way we're about to have-- 679 00:36:00,505 --> 00:36:02,246 you, me, and Reginald. 680 00:36:02,333 --> 00:36:03,856 And if that's not the stairway to heaven, 681 00:36:03,943 --> 00:36:06,207 I don't know what Page and Plant were thinking. 682 00:36:13,388 --> 00:36:14,737 No. No, wait. 683 00:36:14,824 --> 00:36:15,999 Sarah, wait! 684 00:36:18,349 --> 00:36:20,308 Well, that's not what I had in mind at all. 685 00:36:24,225 --> 00:36:25,791 Please, Sarah, wait. 686 00:36:25,878 --> 00:36:26,966 I can explain. 687 00:36:27,053 --> 00:36:28,707 Leave me alone. 688 00:36:28,794 --> 00:36:30,405 But it's not what it looks like. 689 00:36:30,492 --> 00:36:31,754 I--I mean, it's partially what it looks like, 690 00:36:31,841 --> 00:36:32,929 but it's not as bad as it seems. 691 00:36:33,016 --> 00:36:35,410 I knew something was wrong, 692 00:36:35,497 --> 00:36:37,629 but God damn it, Reginald, I didn't even consider-- 693 00:36:37,716 --> 00:36:40,023 No, we can turn back time, okay? 694 00:36:40,110 --> 00:36:42,112 I can make this go away. 695 00:36:42,199 --> 00:36:44,723 What the hell are you talking about? 696 00:36:44,810 --> 00:36:47,117 Pretend? I would never-- 697 00:36:47,204 --> 00:36:48,988 Listen to me! 698 00:36:49,075 --> 00:36:50,512 Forget what you saw in the hotel room. 699 00:36:50,599 --> 00:36:52,470 Forget Nikki. Forget me. 700 00:36:52,557 --> 00:36:54,820 You never came here. 701 00:36:54,907 --> 00:36:56,605 You left work, but you came back, 702 00:36:56,692 --> 00:36:58,563 and you have no memory of where you were 703 00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:01,392 until you see me again, and everything will be wonderful. 704 00:37:03,046 --> 00:37:05,570 Sure, Reginald. 705 00:37:05,657 --> 00:37:07,572 I can do that. 706 00:37:07,659 --> 00:37:10,575 I'll forget what I saw in the hotel room. 707 00:37:10,662 --> 00:37:13,012 I'll forget Nikki. 708 00:37:13,099 --> 00:37:14,884 I'll go back to work, and I'll have no memory 709 00:37:14,971 --> 00:37:18,322 of where I was until you see me again, 710 00:37:18,409 --> 00:37:20,455 and everything will be wonderful. 711 00:37:21,673 --> 00:37:24,502 But most of all... 712 00:37:24,589 --> 00:37:27,200 I'll forget you. 713 00:37:27,288 --> 00:37:28,506 Wait, Sarah. Wait. 714 00:37:28,593 --> 00:37:30,465 Aah! 715 00:37:30,552 --> 00:37:32,467 Where did you get that bracelet? 716 00:37:32,554 --> 00:37:34,164 Maurice gave it to me. 717 00:37:34,251 --> 00:37:36,471 Hey, Sarah. 718 00:37:36,558 --> 00:37:38,255 What are you doing here? 719 00:37:38,342 --> 00:37:40,344 I've got a very important appointment with Nikki. 720 00:37:40,431 --> 00:37:43,652 She's a vampire too. Did you know that? 721 00:37:43,739 --> 00:37:46,002 Dude, you look like someone beat your dog to death 722 00:37:46,089 --> 00:37:47,308 with your cat. 723 00:37:50,441 --> 00:37:51,616 Hey, Nikki. 724 00:37:53,618 --> 00:37:55,446 Nikki, wait up. Where are you going? 725 00:37:55,533 --> 00:37:57,143 When I make a mistake, 726 00:37:57,230 --> 00:37:58,275 I don't fail to make the biggest one possible, 727 00:37:58,362 --> 00:37:59,668 and I like that about myself. 728 00:37:59,755 --> 00:38:01,234 It keeps things interesting, 729 00:38:01,322 --> 00:38:04,107 but you lied to me, and you lied to her! 730 00:38:04,194 --> 00:38:06,762 You are a bad toy. 731 00:38:06,849 --> 00:38:09,504 You are not my dream lover. 732 00:38:09,591 --> 00:38:14,335 You are not the song the angels sing. 733 00:38:14,422 --> 00:38:16,902 Maurice Miller was right about you. 734 00:38:16,989 --> 00:38:18,687 You're not one of us. 735 00:38:18,774 --> 00:38:20,993 Not yet. 736 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:22,560 You're still full of human, 737 00:38:22,647 --> 00:38:25,041 and I have zero tolerance policy for that. 738 00:38:25,128 --> 00:38:26,172 I eat humans. 739 00:38:26,259 --> 00:38:28,131 I do not let them eat me. 740 00:38:28,218 --> 00:38:31,221 Also, I'm bored 741 00:38:31,308 --> 00:38:33,092 and do not wanna play with you anymore. 742 00:38:33,179 --> 00:38:34,833 Wait. You can't just go. 743 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,182 Not now. Please. 744 00:38:38,794 --> 00:38:40,404 I'm sorry, little human. 745 00:38:40,491 --> 00:38:42,537 I can't help you. 746 00:38:42,624 --> 00:38:45,104 But maybe that's best for everyone. 747 00:38:47,498 --> 00:38:48,804 What did you do? 748 00:38:48,891 --> 00:38:50,632 You ruined everything. 749 00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:52,721 - It doesn't matter. - Nikki was gonna help me. 750 00:38:52,808 --> 00:38:54,287 She was gonna turn me into a vampire 751 00:38:54,375 --> 00:38:55,506 so I can fight evil. 752 00:38:55,593 --> 00:38:57,116 Claire, stop! 753 00:38:57,203 --> 00:38:58,901 Look at me. 754 00:38:58,988 --> 00:39:00,859 Is this the life you want? 755 00:39:00,946 --> 00:39:02,078 How does eternity look to you now? 756 00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:04,385 Because trust me, 757 00:39:04,472 --> 00:39:06,212 it's not all it's worked up to be. 758 00:39:06,299 --> 00:39:08,824 It's blood, and hunger, 759 00:39:08,911 --> 00:39:13,089 and you have no------- idea what it feels like. 760 00:39:13,176 --> 00:39:15,047 And right now, the last thing I need 761 00:39:15,134 --> 00:39:17,354 is a disappointed fangirl who didn't get fangs for Christmas. 762 00:39:19,965 --> 00:39:21,967 Asshole. 763 00:39:31,977 --> 00:39:35,503 I can't be out. 764 00:39:35,590 --> 00:39:37,200 There's got to be blood somewhere. 765 00:39:47,253 --> 00:39:50,692 Dude, where the hell have you been? 766 00:39:50,779 --> 00:39:52,433 Are you drunk? 767 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,086 God. 768 00:39:54,173 --> 00:39:55,523 No, no, no, no, wait. 769 00:39:55,610 --> 00:39:57,350 Cheeseburger overdose. 770 00:39:57,438 --> 00:39:59,918 Yeah, it's entirely possible for you. 771 00:40:00,005 --> 00:40:01,137 You know what you are? 772 00:40:01,224 --> 00:40:03,052 You're a disease. 773 00:40:03,139 --> 00:40:05,097 You're making everybody sick around you. 774 00:40:05,184 --> 00:40:07,535 Note to self: 775 00:40:07,622 --> 00:40:08,927 take Reginald's Employee of the Month photo 776 00:40:09,014 --> 00:40:10,015 and throw it in the trash. 777 00:40:10,102 --> 00:40:11,582 Listen to me! 778 00:40:11,669 --> 00:40:13,671 I'm gonna drink your blood, 779 00:40:13,758 --> 00:40:15,891 and that fills you with joy and happiness. 780 00:40:30,079 --> 00:40:31,689 Todd? 781 00:40:31,776 --> 00:40:33,082 --!----!----! 782 00:40:37,739 --> 00:40:39,392 Hello? Help! 783 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,133 Something horrible happened at the Slushy Shack! 784 00:40:41,220 --> 00:40:43,527 Hurry! I--I need your help! 785 00:40:54,625 --> 00:40:55,583 -- you! 786 00:40:55,670 --> 00:40:56,758 I could've handled this. 787 00:40:56,845 --> 00:40:58,150 I would have. 788 00:40:58,237 --> 00:40:59,151 You decided to teach me a lesson 789 00:40:59,238 --> 00:41:01,197 for some------- reason. 790 00:41:01,284 --> 00:41:03,242 You opened your big mouth to Nikki 791 00:41:03,329 --> 00:41:05,984 and you give Sarah that bracelet. 792 00:41:06,071 --> 00:41:07,856 You turn me, 793 00:41:07,943 --> 00:41:10,162 and then you wreck me. 794 00:41:10,249 --> 00:41:11,686 Why? 795 00:41:11,773 --> 00:41:14,515 Why would you do that to me? 796 00:41:14,602 --> 00:41:16,299 Wasn't I good enough for you? 797 00:41:16,386 --> 00:41:18,257 Wasn't I a good enough man for you to trust? 798 00:41:23,915 --> 00:41:26,657 I lost Sarah. 799 00:41:26,744 --> 00:41:28,659 I lost Claire. 800 00:41:28,746 --> 00:41:31,096 I lost Nikki. 801 00:41:31,183 --> 00:41:33,229 I killed Todd. 802 00:41:35,361 --> 00:41:38,582 I'm a liar and an asshole 803 00:41:38,669 --> 00:41:42,020 and a murderer, 804 00:41:42,107 --> 00:41:44,022 but that's all on you. 805 00:41:54,163 --> 00:41:57,079 ♪ You're pretty when you sleep ♪ 806 00:41:57,166 --> 00:41:59,908 ♪ Like frozen memories ♪ 807 00:41:59,995 --> 00:42:02,737 ♪ I hold inside my mind ♪ 808 00:42:02,824 --> 00:42:05,696 ♪ When I can't sleep at night ♪ 809 00:42:05,783 --> 00:42:08,394 ♪ I wanna say goodbye ♪ 810 00:42:08,481 --> 00:42:13,791 ♪ But if I do, you'll cry ♪ 811 00:42:15,358 --> 00:42:20,145 ♪ Please don't cry ♪ 812 00:42:21,669 --> 00:42:24,367 ♪ I think ♪ 813 00:42:24,454 --> 00:42:28,458 ♪ I'm gonna ♪ 814 00:42:28,545 --> 00:42:32,810 ♪ Cry ♪ 815 00:42:32,897 --> 00:42:38,511 ♪ I'm starting over ♪ 816 00:42:38,599 --> 00:42:41,645 ♪ Tonight ♪ 817 00:42:41,732 --> 00:42:43,995 ♪ Oh ♪ 818 00:42:46,911 --> 00:42:51,176 ♪ Anything and everything ♪ 819 00:42:51,263 --> 00:42:53,918 ♪ I'm thinking things ♪ 820 00:42:54,005 --> 00:42:56,529 ♪ That I should not think ♪ 821 00:42:56,617 --> 00:43:03,014 ♪ Oh, anything ♪ 53060

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