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1
00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:05,720
[indistinct sportscast over TV]
2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:06,850
What you watching?
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,420
'86 Super Bowl.
4
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:09,810
Bears are crushing the Pats.
5
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:13,070
I'd have been happy
to die that day.
6
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,120
Greatest four hours
and 22 minutes of my life.
7
00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:15,900
And I was at Woodstock.
8
00:00:15,990 --> 00:00:18,820
Move your feet.
9
00:00:18,900 --> 00:00:20,250
I don't want to;
just sit in the chair.
10
00:00:20,340 --> 00:00:21,780
But it's a bad angle.
11
00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:23,520
My neck will seize
by the fourth touchdown.
12
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,220
[groans] My one day off,
13
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:28,000
I can't even watch a
20-year-old football game.
14
00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:29,700
Mike, look.
15
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,180
I got published.
16
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:32,350
[chuckling]:
I actually got published.
17
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,920
Oh, no way!
18
00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:36,490
And on the same day the
Bears beat the Pats.
19
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,230
Vince, move.
20
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,360
I'm gonna root
for the Pats, then.
21
00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:42,280
What's all the
yelling about?
22
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,500
As of this moment,
23
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:46,110
your daughter is
a published author. [chuckles]
24
00:00:46,190 --> 00:00:49,410
What?Molly, that is so exciting.
25
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,680
Getting paid
for what you love to do.
26
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,030
You and my dealer,
two of the lucky few.
27
00:00:55,810 --> 00:00:57,120
Well, it's just
a little article,
28
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,340
you know, published
on a national blog.
29
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,430
[chuckles]
JOYCE:
Wow.
30
00:01:01,510 --> 00:01:02,860
Sure shut up
all those people
31
00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:04,040
who never thought
you could do it.
32
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,780
Who?Names aren't important.
33
00:01:07,870 --> 00:01:09,390
Well, I had my doubts myself.
34
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,260
Sometimes I'd look at Mike
and just think,
35
00:01:11,350 --> 00:01:13,440
"Oh, you poor, sweet,
supportive fool.
36
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,830
We are so screwed."
37
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,090
Screwed? I thought you said
we were right on schedule.
38
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:20,710
Well, we can laugh about it now.
39
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:23,400
How much money
are we talking about?
40
00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:25,930
Not about the money;
it's about what it represents.
41
00:01:26,010 --> 00:01:28,280
Does is represent more than
the $3,800 you owe your mother?
42
00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:31,980
'Cause we'd like to take
a Carnival cruise this summer.
43
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:34,850
You don't get
reimbursed monetarily.
44
00:01:34,940 --> 00:01:36,370
So squat.
45
00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:37,420
Yes, and I'm fine with that,
46
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,030
because it's about exposure.
47
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,860
Look at you, exposing
yourself on the Internet.
48
00:01:42,940 --> 00:01:44,730
JOYCE:
So, what's the
article about?
49
00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:46,640
Yeah, I'd like to read it.
50
00:01:46,730 --> 00:01:47,690
Or pretend to.
51
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:50,390
You know, to be supportive.
52
00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:52,130
It's a little dry.
53
00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:53,520
I mean, I don't think anybody
here would be interested.
54
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,960
"From toilet training
to tantrums.
55
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,530
Understanding the
elderly parent."
56
00:01:58,610 --> 00:01:59,920
What the hell?!
57
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:01,140
What if my friends see that?
58
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:03,140
Don't worry about it.
59
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:05,400
Old people can't even get
on the Internet.
60
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,190
That's not true.
61
00:02:08,270 --> 00:02:09,970
Just last week, I helped
a prince from Nigeria
62
00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:12,020
track down his fortune.
63
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,280
Listen, what do you say
we get all dolled up
64
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,110
and I take you out
to lunch to celebrate?
65
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,550
Oh, what about your day off
66
00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:20,850
and your goal
to not move an inch?
67
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:24,730
[scoffs]
He already ruined that.
68
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:27,030
Plus, it's not every day my
wife gets read by millions.
69
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,690
Oh, well, I think
it's more like...
70
00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:31,300
[chuckling]:
45 people.
71
00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:32,730
Ooh, 46!
72
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,080
You're welcome.
73
00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:40,350
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
74
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,270
♪ La,
la-ba-dee-da ♪
75
00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:46,750
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
76
00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:47,840
♪ I see love ♪
77
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,450
♪ I see love♪
78
00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:52,930
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
79
00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:54,060
♪ I see love ♪
80
00:02:54,150 --> 00:02:58,190
♪ I see love.♪
81
00:03:05,330 --> 00:03:08,120
You know, there are a million
great restaurants in Chicago.
82
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,860
You couldn't take me to one
83
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,730
that my coat wasn't going
to stick to the booth?
84
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:13,510
What do you want?
A clean chair or...
85
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,430
Turkey Meatball
Tuesday, huh?
86
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,610
That shut you up.
87
00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:20,390
Hey, look who's here.Hey.
88
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:21,740
I thought you wanted
a day off from me,
89
00:03:21,830 --> 00:03:23,960
but look who came
crawling back.
90
00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:27,790
Molly got an article published,
so we decided to celebrate.
91
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:28,830
Then why are you here?
92
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,920
See? Even he knows it blows.
93
00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:33,580
Better than anyone.
94
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,580
CARL:
A published author.
That's great.
95
00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:37,100
What is it, a book or a...?
96
00:03:37,190 --> 00:03:39,370
No, it's just a little article
on the Internet.
97
00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:41,110
Oh, the Internet.
98
00:03:41,190 --> 00:03:42,800
That's even better;
the whole world can see it.
99
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,200
You know,
my one-arm push-up video
100
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,980
has got a real following
in Bulgaria.
101
00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:51,770
You know, maybe we should've
gone someplace else.
102
00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:54,510
It doesn't pay anything,
103
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,900
but I'm just happy
for the exposure.
104
00:03:55,990 --> 00:03:56,900
I mean, do you know
how many submissions
105
00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:58,040
that Web site gets?
106
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,860
How many?
107
00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:01,910
I don't know, but a-a lot.
108
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,480
And out of all those people,
they chose not to pay me.
109
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:07,480
Oh, well, congratulations.
110
00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:09,570
Thank you, Carl.
111
00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:11,920
To think, two months ago,
I was a teacher,
112
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:14,100
doing the same thing,
day after day,
113
00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:16,360
like a rat on a wheel.
114
00:04:16,450 --> 00:04:18,100
I wish the rats here
were on a wheel.
115
00:04:18,190 --> 00:04:19,620
It would make them
much easier to catch.
116
00:04:19,710 --> 00:04:22,100
Really?Oh, don't worry.
117
00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:23,500
The turkey meatballs
sell so fast,
118
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,720
the rats can't
get near them.
119
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,510
So, how would you like to spend
120
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:35,420
the rest of our day
of celebration?
121
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:36,810
And please don't
say martial arts movie,
122
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:39,470
center row, third aisle,
large popcorn.
123
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,600
Then why'd you even ask?
124
00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:42,470
I don't know.
125
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,560
I really don't know.
126
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,430
[gasps]
Ooh.
127
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,950
Rolls-Royces.
128
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,300
Beautiful, aren't they?
129
00:04:48,390 --> 00:04:50,390
You're talking
400 grand, easy.
130
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,090
No way.
Yeah.
131
00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:53,740
When I was little, I had
a gray Hot Wheels one.
132
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:54,790
Had its own driver.
133
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,620
I would pretend I was him.
134
00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:57,620
Sailing down that orange track,
not a care in the world.
135
00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,620
Come on.
136
00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,670
Let's go in
and check it out.
137
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:02,930
What? No.
138
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:04,410
Why not?Because they'll know.
139
00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:05,580
Know what?
140
00:05:05,670 --> 00:05:07,580
That we don't belong in there.
141
00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:09,630
Oh, come on.
Can you just relax, fella?
142
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,280
Can we just go in,
have some fun?
143
00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:13,200
Do something new?
144
00:05:13,290 --> 00:05:14,680
Come on, let's go in.
145
00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:16,030
No, you're gonna get us
in trouble.
146
00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,860
With who?The Rolls-Royce people!
147
00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,160
Mike, what are they gonna do?
148
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:21,160
They can't take anything
from us.
149
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:22,860
We don't have anything.
150
00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:24,640
Molly, do not
go in there.
151
00:05:24,730 --> 00:05:25,860
Molly!
152
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,210
I'm not going in there.
153
00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:29,560
I'm going home.
I'm walking away.
154
00:05:29,650 --> 00:05:31,560
Bye.
155
00:05:31,650 --> 00:05:33,480
They're not gonna... [groans]
156
00:05:33,570 --> 00:05:35,440
Damn it!
157
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,660
[classical music playing]
158
00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:43,880
What are you doing
standing there?
159
00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:46,140
Should I take my shoes off?
160
00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:48,190
[whispering]:
Just come over here.
161
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,280
[sighs]
162
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,980
How do they get them in here?
163
00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:55,590
It's like ships in a bottle.
164
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,640
Do you smell that, huh?
165
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,420
It's like we're inside
a James Bond movie.
166
00:06:02,510 --> 00:06:06,250
Leather and the metal
and the...
167
00:06:06,340 --> 00:06:07,860
turkey meatball?
168
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:08,860
God, Mike!
169
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:11,520
I'm sorry. I'm nervous.
170
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,130
Can we go?No. We're looking around.
171
00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:15,650
For all they know,
we can afford one of these cars.
172
00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:17,870
Hey, you could have made a lot
of money on the Internet.
173
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,570
You and I both know there's
no money in the Internet.
174
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,480
That's not important.
175
00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:23,360
We can be anybody we want to be.
176
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,010
Okay, it's all in
how you carry yourself.
177
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,310
Just follow my lead.
178
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,230
Have you done
this before?
179
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,140
Not here.
180
00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:32,320
Hello. [chuckles]
181
00:06:32,410 --> 00:06:34,410
Hello.
182
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:35,720
Can I help you?[in British accent]:
Oh, well, I hope so.
183
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,800
We're quite interested
184
00:06:37,890 --> 00:06:39,020
in purchasing, uh, one
of your vehicles.[chuckles awkwardly]
185
00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:41,420
[laughs]
Oh, he's excited.
186
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,380
Yes, crumb cake,
would you like
187
00:06:43,460 --> 00:06:44,900
to give this one
a test drive?[thumping]
188
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,770
[laughs]
189
00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:47,950
Oh, I don't think so.
190
00:06:48,030 --> 00:06:49,380
I don't think he wants to.
191
00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:50,950
How about we give
that one a go, huh?
192
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,430
Oh, yes, we have just
a bit of a tangle.
193
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,040
We'd prefer to pay cash,
but we only have euros.
194
00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:59,040
Just gobs and
gobs of euros.
195
00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:02,740
I'll get the keys.Oh, brilliant!
196
00:07:02,830 --> 00:07:04,700
You'd prefer the four-door,
is that right, sir?
197
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,180
[in bad British accent]:
Right, right.
198
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,620
Oh, this is quite nice.
199
00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:16,760
Burled wood,
stitched leather,
200
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:20,500
all the finest accoutrements.
201
00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:22,940
It also has a 12-cylinder
engine, 563 horsepower.
202
00:07:23,020 --> 00:07:25,680
Does zero to 60 in 4.2 seconds.
203
00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:27,420
I believe what the gentleman
is suggesting
204
00:07:27,510 --> 00:07:30,730
is that you stop driving
like the queen and give it a go.
205
00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:33,160
Right, right.
206
00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:34,990
Whoa.
Ooh-ooh!
207
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,780
Ooh.
208
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:38,870
Do you mind if I try the radio?
209
00:07:38,950 --> 00:07:40,000
Not at all.
It has dual controls
210
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,650
for the front and the back.
211
00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:43,220
Oh, let's try the back.
212
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,520
[classical music blaring]
213
00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:46,830
Is that too loud?
214
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,140
Excuse me?
215
00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:49,050
[regular accent]:
Okay, we're good.
216
00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:50,090
Isn't this great?
217
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:51,570
Are you having fun?
218
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:53,050
Don't talk to me;
I'm trying to focus.
219
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:53,790
Get off my ass, grandma.
220
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,930
Go around!
221
00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:57,410
Oh, my God,
222
00:07:57,490 --> 00:07:59,890
there's a humidor
in the glove compartment.
223
00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:01,670
Oh, what a wonderful
waste of money.
224
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,800
[sighs]
Put that thing away.
225
00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:07,550
I'm not gonna smoke it;
I'm just gonna take it.
226
00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:08,940
Molly!
I'm kidding.
227
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,290
Can you just relax?
228
00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:11,510
No. I'm driving
the equivalent
229
00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:13,030
of a three-bedroom
house here,
230
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,770
with a grandma who will
not get off my ass!
231
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,820
You know, I-I made
your childhood dream
232
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:20,690
of driving a Rolls-Royce
come true.
233
00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:22,080
You could at least enjoy it.
234
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,300
I'm not built that way, Molly.
235
00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:24,390
You've met my mother.
236
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,830
I wasn't raised to enjoy things.
237
00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:28,790
[sighs] You know,
you are taking all the fun
238
00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:31,830
out of this fraudulent
test drive.
239
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,140
Just pull over here
in front of the hotel.
240
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:36,100
Thank you.
241
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:37,660
[music stops]
242
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:38,930
[British accent]:
Do you have a longer model
243
00:08:39,010 --> 00:08:40,540
with a bubbly pool in the back?
244
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,100
No.
Oh.
245
00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:43,930
Well, I wish you
would have told me that
246
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:45,110
before we left the shop.
247
00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:48,460
Let's go, crumb cake.
248
00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:49,280
Let's go!
249
00:08:49,370 --> 00:08:50,680
Right, right.
250
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,730
All right.
251
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,130
Oh, excuse me.
252
00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,740
Sorry.
253
00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:13,180
Hey, uh, can just anybody sit
in those chairs?
254
00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:14,830
Yes, sir.
255
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,660
Do you need help with anything?Uh, no.
256
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:18,620
Just waiting for the wife.
She's hitting the head.
257
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,750
Uh, the ladies' can.
258
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,120
Hey, what took so long?
259
00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:42,860
That bathroom,
it's amazing.
260
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,080
It's like a beauty parlor.
261
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,470
They have everything.
262
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:46,780
There was makeup and hair spray
263
00:09:46,860 --> 00:09:49,210
and perfume and...
Oh, look, mints.
264
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,610
[chuckles]
265
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,170
I thought you just had to pee.
266
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:54,870
I did, and I enjoyed
every minute of it.
267
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,790
The... the seats were heated.
268
00:09:56,870 --> 00:09:59,530
Are you sure somebody
just wasn't there before you?
269
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:01,620
Oh, don't be gross. Not here.
270
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:04,790
All right, so, uh,
you ready to go home?
271
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,320
No. What's the hurry?
272
00:10:07,410 --> 00:10:08,930
Let's hang out. Ooh.
273
00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:10,930
We can pretend
that we're two strangers
274
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:14,370
that just met in a hotel lobby.
275
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,540
Well, you're already acting
like somebody I don't know,
276
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:18,500
so we're halfway there.
277
00:10:18,590 --> 00:10:19,500
Perfect.
278
00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:21,460
Now all we need's a room.
279
00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:22,860
We can't afford
a room here.
280
00:10:22,940 --> 00:10:24,290
Even the people
we're pretending to be
281
00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,730
can't afford a room here.
282
00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:27,340
I know. This place
is horribly overpriced.
283
00:10:27,430 --> 00:10:29,950
[whispering]: That's why
we're not gonna pay for it.
284
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,430
Come on.
285
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,740
I'm a cop; I can't steal.
286
00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:35,690
We're not stealing.
We're borrowing.
287
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,170
It's like a...
like a library book.
288
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:40,390
Like a library book
we're gonna have sex on.
289
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:46,490
All right, keep talking.
290
00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:47,920
This place has checkout
at 11:00.
291
00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:49,580
Check-in is at 3:00.
292
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:51,140
Which means there's
a whole bunch of rooms upstairs
293
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,320
just waiting
for turndown services.
294
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:56,580
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
295
00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:58,020
You're using sex as a weapon.
296
00:10:58,110 --> 00:10:59,280
You know that, right?
297
00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:00,590
Yes, I do. Come on.
298
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:02,680
Let's go.
299
00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:07,770
[bell dings]
300
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:09,860
Okay, perfect. Let's go.
301
00:11:09,950 --> 00:11:11,730
I'm a Chicago cop with
a gun on his ankle,
302
00:11:11,820 --> 00:11:13,080
and I'm shaking
like a leaf.
303
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:14,520
It's the adrenaline.
304
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,690
The metal taste
in the back of your mouth,
305
00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:17,430
it's how you know
you're alive.
306
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,300
Who are you?
307
00:11:19,390 --> 00:11:20,780
Shh.
308
00:11:20,870 --> 00:11:22,310
All right, the maid's
almost done.
309
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,090
Get the cart and go around
the corner with it.
310
00:11:24,180 --> 00:11:25,830
Why?Because you want
to have sex with me.
311
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:26,660
Okay.
312
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:29,790
Shh.
313
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,800
[whispering]:
Go, go, go.
314
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:40,540
Okay, when she comes out
and goes around the corner,
315
00:11:40,630 --> 00:11:41,630
we make a run for the
room and bolt the door.
316
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,240
Have you done this before?
317
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,980
Not here. Shh.
318
00:12:06,650 --> 00:12:07,740
All clear.
319
00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:09,750
I said "all clear."
320
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,490
I'm a little wobbly.
321
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:13,840
I still have my sex legs.
322
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,710
You don't have to tell me,
Mr. 15 Minutes.
323
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,930
The fear of that maid walking in
and seeing me naked
324
00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:22,280
bought me some extra time.
325
00:12:22,370 --> 00:12:23,670
MAN [over walkie-talkie]:
Check the 72nd floor.
Make sure all is clear.
326
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,070
Security. I think
that maid ratted us out.
327
00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:27,150
Don't feel so good
about leaving the five
328
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,890
on the pillow now, do you?
329
00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:30,370
What's next? You got
a plan for this?
330
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:31,460
Yes. Give me your gun.
331
00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:33,030
What?
Yeah.
332
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,730
You are not going
to shoot anyone.
333
00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:36,600
No. You're gonna
take me hostage.
334
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,380
What is wrong with you?
335
00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:40,120
Just go to the stairs.Fine.
336
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:42,170
But my way
would've worked, too.
337
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,650
[giggling]:
Oh, my God.
338
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:48,520
We'll just go down a floor,
339
00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:50,520
hop on the elevator,
and we are gone.
340
00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:52,570
You know, I think,
if I put my mind to it,
341
00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:54,350
I could rob a bank.
342
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,790
Take it easy, Bonnie; this
is as far as Clyde goes.
343
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,320
There's no handle.
344
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,320
I guess you're supposed to put
your room key in the slot.
345
00:13:01,410 --> 00:13:02,280
Which we don't have.
346
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,930
Why would they do that?
347
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:07,240
To prevent people like us
from doing what we did.
348
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,110
Oh, that's actually smart.
349
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,810
What are you doing?
350
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:14,110
Trying every card
in my wallet.
[chuckles]
351
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,330
Well, I don't think that
your Orange Julius gift card
352
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:19,080
is gonna save the day.
353
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,860
It's either this
or walk down 71 flights.
354
00:13:21,950 --> 00:13:24,560
Okay, here, try my CVS card.
355
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:27,820
That hostage thing doesn't look
so bad now, does it?
356
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,570
[panting]
357
00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:34,310
MOLLY:
Whew.
358
00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:36,220
[chuckles]
359
00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:38,400
Ooh, this...
360
00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:40,230
This is quite a workout.
361
00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:40,840
Don't talk to me.
362
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,840
Why?
363
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:44,540
Because you're gonna
try to make this seem
364
00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:46,150
like we're having fun,
and we're not having fun.
365
00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:49,540
We're 40 floor from fun
with 30 more to go!
366
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:51,060
Well, see?
367
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:52,410
We're already halfway there.
368
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,850
Do not look at
the bright side.
369
00:13:54,940 --> 00:13:57,070
There is no
bright side here!
370
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,330
Oh, quit being such a crybaby.
371
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:00,900
Don't call me a crybaby.
372
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:04,380
[fake crying]:
Why? You gonna cry, crybaby?
373
00:14:04,470 --> 00:14:06,690
Stop it. If you hadn't dragged
me through all this crap,
374
00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:08,520
I'd be home, happy,
on my couch right now.
375
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,130
But I was just trying to get you
to do something different.
376
00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:13,560
Get you out of your comfort zone
for half a day.
377
00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:14,390
You know what zone I'm in now?
378
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,350
The chafing zone.
379
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:20,050
I could cook a steak
between my thighs.
380
00:14:20,140 --> 00:14:21,700
Boy, for somebody
who drove a Rolls-Royce today
381
00:14:21,790 --> 00:14:25,100
and had sex
in a five-star hotel for free,
382
00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:26,750
you sure complain a lot.
383
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,750
You know why you can't admit
this is miserable?
384
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,410
Because you live in denial.
385
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:32,190
That's why
you're so bad with money.
386
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,020
Are you really gonna
point fingers, Groundhog Day?!
387
00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:36,330
I found you on the couch
this morning
388
00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:37,980
watching a 20-year-old
football game!
389
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:41,420
I might have missed something!
390
00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:43,550
You know what,
I'll see you at the bottom.
391
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,120
Yeah, you know what,
I'll see youat the bottom,
392
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,470
'cause I'm going first!No, I'm going first.
393
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:48,120
I got the rail.You move your hand.
394
00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:49,730
I got the rail! I got the rail!Move your hand.
395
00:14:49,820 --> 00:14:51,250
[screaming]
396
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:53,260
Get moving, or I'll
give you the rail!
397
00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:55,300
Yeah, that's my...
[screams]
398
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:02,090
[panting]
399
00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:05,960
MOLLY:
Mike?
400
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,750
Mike!
401
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:14,580
What are you doing?
402
00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:17,020
I was down in single digits.
403
00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:19,630
I'm sorry.
404
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:20,760
That's it.
405
00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:21,940
I can't take another step.
406
00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:24,770
It's only 12 more floors.
Come on.
407
00:15:24,850 --> 00:15:25,590
I can't.
408
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,510
Just leave me.
409
00:15:26,590 --> 00:15:29,160
Live your life.
410
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:30,510
No.
411
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,770
We walked into this together.
412
00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:34,040
We're walking out
of this together.
413
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,520
I'm just holding you back.
414
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:38,560
Okay.
415
00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:41,000
We can rest for a second.
416
00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:42,040
I'm not talking
about the stairs.
417
00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:44,610
I'm talking about in life.
418
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:47,180
I'm just stopping you
from doing all that weird,
419
00:15:47,270 --> 00:15:50,010
wonderful stuff
that you want to do.
420
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,710
Are you kidding?
421
00:15:52,790 --> 00:15:54,970
Mike, I-I couldn't have
done any of that stuff
422
00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:56,750
if it wasn't for you.
423
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,410
That's not true.
It is.
424
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,110
Mike, you're my rock.
425
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:03,720
If it wasn't for you,
426
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,420
I-I wouldn't have been
able to quit my job
427
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:09,030
and become the successful,
428
00:16:09,110 --> 00:16:12,340
unpaid internet content
provider I am today.
429
00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:13,950
[laughs]
430
00:16:14,030 --> 00:16:15,560
[sniffles, sighs]
431
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,560
Okay. Now, get up.
432
00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:20,730
Get up,
you exhausted son of a bitch.
433
00:16:22,170 --> 00:16:24,000
Come on.
434
00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:25,870
[groaning]
435
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,090
[panting]
436
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,090
If we don't get out of here,
437
00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:30,880
I love you, Molly.
438
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:31,920
Then show me.
439
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:34,010
Show me with your feet!
440
00:16:42,020 --> 00:16:44,760
[alarm blaring]
441
00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:46,800
We did it! We did it!
442
00:16:46,890 --> 00:16:49,070
Sweet baby Jesus,
we're alive!
443
00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:51,980
We're alive!
444
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:54,030
[sighs]
445
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,600
[alarm continues]
446
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,640
Act like we belong.
447
00:17:00,990 --> 00:17:03,300
Oh, apples!
448
00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:09,090
Thank you. We...
449
00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:11,090
We had a lovely stay.
450
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,360
[sighs]
451
00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:22,490
Come on.
452
00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:24,190
Let's get you to the couch.
453
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,710
[groans]
454
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,710
Can you bring the couch
closer to me?
455
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,800
Come on, honey,
you can do it.
456
00:17:29,890 --> 00:17:31,540
Come on.
457
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:32,760
Three steps and a flop.
458
00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:35,980
[laughs, groans]
459
00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:38,070
Oh!
460
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,680
[groaning]
461
00:17:39,770 --> 00:17:42,250
Oh, this is comfortable.
462
00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:44,780
Now I know why you never want
to get off of it.
463
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,210
See?
464
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:47,690
Welcome to Mike Biggs country.
465
00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:50,350
Kind of nice, huh?
466
00:17:50,430 --> 00:17:52,610
Better than a Rolls.
467
00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:54,090
[sighs]
468
00:17:54,180 --> 00:17:56,000
Thank you, Molly.
469
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:57,610
For what?
470
00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,220
Pushing me.
471
00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:00,750
Oh, hey, is that the stairs?
472
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,400
I told you I tripped.
473
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,320
My feet were numb.
474
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:04,970
[chuckles] No.
475
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:06,580
[giggles]
476
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,760
For putting
together this day.
477
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,450
Making me do things that...
478
00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:14,110
I-I never thought I would do.
479
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,460
Well, you better get used to it.
480
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:18,550
I don't know
where I'm going next,
481
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,770
but I'm taking you with me.
482
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:24,600
Can we at least wait
until my thighs heal
483
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:29,210
and my ankles go back
to being smaller than my calves?
484
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:33,480
Well, we can't go Jet Skiing
until the summer anyway.
485
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:34,870
[groans]
486
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:35,570
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
487
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:37,700
And FORD
488
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:38,480
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
33452
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