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1
00:00:01,150 --> 00:00:03,180
Right, well, if
everyone's ready then.
2
00:00:03,180 --> 00:00:06,160
My name is Paula, and I'm here
3
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,080
to help you all get
along a little better.
4
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:11,080
-Good luck with that.
-Isn't he a treasure?
5
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,060
Now, Marcus, we're gonna
meet here every few weeks,
6
00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:16,130
and when it's time for me
to report back to the court,
7
00:00:16,130 --> 00:00:19,080
if your naughty daddy has
failed to show that he can
8
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,010
look after you properly,
then you will go
9
00:00:21,010 --> 00:00:22,170
straight back to
live with your mommy.
10
00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:24,070
-Is that all clear?
-Translucent.
11
00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:25,120
Right, how have things been?
12
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,120
-Great.
-Appalling.
13
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:28,000
-General agreement.
-No agreement.
14
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,190
So what problems have there
been living together?
15
00:00:29,190 --> 00:00:32,070
-May I?
-Yes, of course.
16
00:00:32,070 --> 00:00:33,170
Psst.
17
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:35,150
Thank you all for
coming here today.
18
00:00:35,150 --> 00:00:37,160
This is obviously a very
difficult situation,
19
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,190
and I know we all want
what's best for the child.
20
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:42,020
-Nicely articulated, Marcus.
-Little bit pretentious.
21
00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:44,010
How could I describe
Tim's parenting skills?
22
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:45,160
-Exemplary.
-Feeble.
23
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:48,100
-Tim is a dreadful father.
-Oh, that's not true.
24
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:50,010
-It is.
-He is always late.
25
00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:52,080
-I object.
-This isn't a courtroom, Tim.
26
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,000
-His cooking is abysmal.
-What?
27
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,020
Updated classics, Gary Rhodes?
28
00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:58,050
-The house is a death trap.
-Terrifying.
29
00:00:58,050 --> 00:01:00,230
Give me one example.
30
00:01:00,230 --> 00:01:02,210
Okay, so there might a
little tiny bit of snagging.
31
00:01:02,210 --> 00:01:04,140
And he has unsuitable friends.
32
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:06,100
Right, well that's
absolutely not true,
33
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,010
because I don't
have any friends,
34
00:01:08,010 --> 00:01:10,170
so bad luck.
35
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,120
-Objection!
-Sustained.
36
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,210
I withdraw, in summary, I humbly
request that Social Services
37
00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:18,210
allow me to live with
my mother and Philip.
38
00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:22,100
Really don't wanna
talk about Philip.
39
00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:24,170
-No offense, Philip.
-Don't worry about me, bro.
40
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:26,030
That was a very
impressive presentation.
41
00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:28,190
It certainly was--I want you.
42
00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:29,230
-I'm sorry?
-Sorry, what?
43
00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:33,030
-You said you want me.
-I don't think so.
44
00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:35,100
-You disgust me, Tim.
-Sly goat.
45
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,140
Tim and I would never
enter into a relationship.
46
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,030
-No!
-God no!
47
00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,210
-A forbidden romance?
-Absolutely not.
48
00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:42,120
-Like in The English Patient.
-Never!
49
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,070
-Never, very unlikely.
-Never!
50
00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,190
-Watch this space.
-Ignore this space.
51
00:01:45,190 --> 00:01:48,000
We will see, but for now,
to help everyone achieve
52
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,100
their goals, I have
prepared this special chart.
53
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,160
Every time Daddy does something
good, you give him a gold star,
54
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,140
and every time he does something
bad, you give him a black star.
55
00:01:57,140 --> 00:02:00,010
-That is genius.
-Not exactly scientific.
56
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,100
-It's for children, Tim.
-Still.
57
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:05,100
Pretty meaningless.
58
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,170
Do you see how this works?
59
00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:07,170
-I do.
-Unfairly.
60
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,210
-And Tim?
-Yes, Paula?
61
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,170
Do you know what I tell fathers?
62
00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:13,240
Try and be a hero to your
son, it's that simple.
63
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:17,180
-That's not simple.
-Negative attitude.
64
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,210
Okay, good.
65
00:02:19,210 --> 00:02:53,140
♪
66
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,130
Scan in progress.
67
00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:57,110
Identified, Louise Webster.
68
00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:01,020
-Uh, no, no, it's Tim Elliot.
-Have a good day, Louise.
69
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:04,140
(door hissing)
70
00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:09,130
Okay, come on, sit anywhere.
71
00:03:09,130 --> 00:03:12,180
So, first day.
72
00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:13,200
-Nervous?
-No, sir.
73
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,150
Course you are,
listen up, people.
74
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:18,180
I am The Examiner.
75
00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:20,040
It's a good title, isn't it?
76
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,140
Powerful.
77
00:03:21,140 --> 00:03:23,040
Over the next few months
you will be undergoing
78
00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:26,030
extensive training in all
the key operational areas,
79
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:28,130
but I will repeat, if
anyone discovers you work
80
00:03:28,130 --> 00:03:31,110
for MI5, you're out of here.
81
00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,150
-Is that clear?
-Yes, sir.
82
00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:33,240
I definitely haven't
told anyone.
83
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,040
Now, what is the first
rule of weaponry?
84
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,130
-Safety.
-Restraint.
85
00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,020
-Have fun.
-Really?
86
00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:41,090
-You bet.
-I'd have gone with safety.
87
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:45,020
Have you seen this stuff,
this is seriously cool.
88
00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:48,170
Two-way earpieces, recordable
pens, smoke grenades.
89
00:03:48,170 --> 00:03:51,030
Check out my taser.
90
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:54,100
50,000 volts,
thank you very much.
91
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:57,000
Don't you just wanna sink
that charge into someone?
92
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,140
Only if the use of
force is reasonable.
93
00:03:58,140 --> 00:04:00,000
But who's to stay
if it is reasonable?
94
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,090
-The courts.
-Or is it us, Tim?
95
00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:03,030
-No, it's the courts.
-It's a gray area.
96
00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,070
-Not really.
-But as long as we had fun, eh?
97
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:07,090
-Am I right or am I right?
-Legally you're not right.
98
00:04:07,090 --> 00:04:09,170
-Absolutely spot on, sir.
-Good lad.
99
00:04:09,170 --> 00:04:11,200
Okay, pair up, grab some gear.
100
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:16,140
Target acquisition
exercise in 30 minutes.
101
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:18,060
Oh, brilliant.
102
00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:21,150
♪
103
00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:23,150
Have you located the target?
104
00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:27,170
I am The Examiner, powerful.
105
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:31,010
-Stop messing about, Alpha One.
-Sorry.
106
00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:35,150
-I found it!
-Ah!
107
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:38,150
Yes, okay, I heard
you, Alpha One.
108
00:04:38,150 --> 00:04:41,030
Just get the bag and
bring it back to the RV.
109
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:53,210
♪
110
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,030
-My bag.
-Whoa.
111
00:04:55,030 --> 00:04:57,060
-My bag, thank you.
-No, no it isn't.
112
00:04:57,060 --> 00:05:00,010
-It's evening bag.
-Just ignore him and let's go.
113
00:05:00,010 --> 00:05:02,200
Okay, if it's your
bag, what's in it?
114
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,060
-Dog?
-A dog?
115
00:05:04,060 --> 00:05:06,010
-Microwave?
-Do you need backup?
116
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:09,030
No, no, negative, negative,
I'm on my way, over.
117
00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:10,180
-You're immigration.
-No, I'm not with immigration.
118
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:14,010
-You spy on me naked.
-Okay, buh-bye.
119
00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:17,030
-Yes, spy!
-Give me that back!
120
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:19,000
Alpha One, come in, Alpha One.
121
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,120
Oh, that's, that's disgusting.
122
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,060
Bash your guts, buddy!
123
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:28,180
(groaning)
124
00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:31,100
Sorry, are you okay?
125
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:33,200
(moaning)
126
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,120
Thank God.
127
00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:39,000
♪
128
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,180
(banging)
129
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:45,090
Come in, Alpha One?
130
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:47,010
Tim?
131
00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:49,200
♪
132
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,210
(alarms whirring)
133
00:05:52,210 --> 00:05:56,060
(sirens wailing)
134
00:05:56,060 --> 00:06:18,060
♪
135
00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:21,180
(applause)
136
00:06:23,140 --> 00:06:25,150
It really is an
incredible story, Tim.
137
00:06:25,150 --> 00:06:26,200
-Stop it.
-Are you kidding?
138
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,150
My viewers are gonna love this.
139
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:31,150
"Single father rescues
terrorized homeless man."
140
00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:32,230
Well, when you put it like that.
141
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:34,100
And to think that only
yesterday you were just
142
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:37,000
a pointless Civil
Service computer dweeb.
143
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,230
-Yeah, I wouldn't quite say--
-And now, this huge local hero!
144
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:43,090
Woo-hoo, come on!
145
00:06:43,090 --> 00:06:44,200
This is ludicrous.
146
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,060
Your son must tell you all the
time how proud he is of you.
147
00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:51,010
Oh, he does, with his eyes.
148
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,040
I assume this earned
you a gold star.
149
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,230
-Not yet.
-Marcus.
150
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:56,230
Well let's remedy
that straight away.
151
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:59,200
Do you want to give your dad
a gold star for his bravery?
152
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,200
Sadly, we're all
out of gold ones.
153
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,200
Bought some more.
154
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,010
-How about that, Marcus?
-How about that, Marcus?
155
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:11,010
-Well played, Tim.
-And what about you, Jarek?
156
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:13,230
Can you still not remember
anything about the attack?
157
00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:16,210
Nothing, one minute was okay,
158
00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:20,000
next minute, blackness.
159
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,100
-Pity.
-Isn't it?
160
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:24,120
Well, if you do remember any of
the details, I would love to--
161
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,140
I think your viewers
would've forgotten by then.
162
00:07:27,140 --> 00:07:31,140
-So, where will Jarek go now?
-I don't know, it's very sad.
163
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:33,120
-I stay here.
-No.
164
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,060
-No, I don't think that's ideal.
-Ideal.
165
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:38,060
-Not really your call.
-That's an excellent idea.
166
00:07:38,060 --> 00:07:41,090
-Perfect, yes.
-And what do you think, Marcus?
167
00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:44,200
Can Jarek please stay
with us, Daddy, please?
168
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:48,070
This is turning into
a terrific story.
169
00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:50,060
You know what, I'm
gonna fast-track you
170
00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:52,180
-onto my show tomorrow.
-I beg you not to.
171
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:56,140
-Don't mention it, Tim.
-Urgent toilet.
172
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:58,040
Again?
173
00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:03,140
Joined now in the studio by
single father Tim Elliot,
174
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:06,120
who really does have an
extraordinary tale to tell.
175
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,230
Tim, welcome, great
to see you today.
176
00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,010
Thanks ever so much for coming.
177
00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:12,150
-Yup, lovely.
-I'm watching it now.
178
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:15,060
A sort of Mother Teresa
meets Steven Seagal.
179
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:16,230
-And?
-It's okay.
180
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,150
-You look a little--
-Fat, I know.
181
00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:20,170
I was gonna say
effeminate, but who cares?
182
00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:22,180
You're a bona fide hero,
this is gonna net you
183
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:24,090
some serious action, dude.
184
00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:25,200
-Really?
-Are you kidding?
185
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,040
For some women, being heroic is
even more important than money.
186
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,060
You are a deeply cynical man.
187
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:35,060
-I'll see you later.
-Word.
188
00:08:35,060 --> 00:08:36,150
I know him.
189
00:08:36,150 --> 00:08:40,120
-The breathing, and the man.
-Yes, a homeless dirty man.
190
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,080
-A homeless dirty man.
-Yes.
191
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:50,020
♪
192
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:53,000
-Are we crazy?
-One of us might be.
193
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,240
-This can't go on, Tim.
-Okay.
194
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,110
-And yet it must.
-Really?
195
00:08:57,110 --> 00:08:59,220
-You can't put a name on this.
-Sexual harassment?
196
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:02,060
-Do you want me to lose my job?
-Increasingly, yes.
197
00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:04,090
You must be strong for both
of us, tell me what to do.
198
00:09:04,090 --> 00:09:06,050
-Leave me alone.
-I'll do anything you say.
199
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:07,090
-Leave me alone.
-Just say the word.
200
00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:09,080
Leave me alone.
201
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,150
-Your silence says it all.
-Silence?
202
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:15,210
I know, baby, I know.
203
00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:21,210
(crying)
204
00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:27,110
♪
205
00:09:27,110 --> 00:09:28,130
So were you scared?
206
00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:30,060
No, sweetheart,
I don't do scared.
207
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,210
Listen, this isn't
just my job, you know?
208
00:09:31,210 --> 00:09:35,050
-This is, uh, who I am.
-Excuse me, sorry.
209
00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:38,160
Excuse me, oh, sorry
love, you all right?
210
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,190
Oi, Blue Thunder, The
Examiner wants you.
211
00:09:41,190 --> 00:09:44,060
I'm sorry, ladies, duty calls.
212
00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:47,180
(crashing)
213
00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:55,090
Ah, Tim, come in.
214
00:09:55,090 --> 00:09:56,180
-Sit down.
-Thank you.
215
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:58,120
-Whiskey?
-Uh, it's 10 A.M., sir.
216
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,020
-Gin?
-Uh, think I'm fine.
217
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:01,110
You know when I first
started here, Tim,
218
00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:03,190
drinking was only
allowed after hours.
219
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:05,150
But I changed that,
you wanna know why?
220
00:10:05,150 --> 00:10:06,220
You have a massive
drinking problem?
221
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:08,240
Because I am a maverick, Tim.
222
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:11,020
I do what needs to be done.
223
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:14,000
Man of action,
I think you are too.
224
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,210
Thanks.
225
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:18,220
-I like you, Tim.
-Thank you.
226
00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:20,090
-Almost too much.
-Bit weird.
227
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:21,240
You showed tremendous
courage yesterday.
228
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,220
Yeah, in a way.
229
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:27,150
So then, Action Man.
230
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:29,060
When are you gonna
kill the hobo?
231
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,120
-I'm sorry?
-The Bulgarian.
232
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,190
When are you gonna
punch his card?
233
00:10:31,190 --> 00:10:34,080
-Not sure I understand.
-Obviously we can't have
234
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,030
this Jarek creature
discovering that you're MI5.
235
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:38,080
-No, obviously.
-So then when are you
236
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,000
-gonna terminate him?
-I'm sorry,
237
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,020
-I'm not gonna terminate him.
-Hmmm.
238
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:45,000
-I get it.
-What?
239
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,150
I get it.
240
00:10:47,150 --> 00:10:49,150
Why are you winking?
241
00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:51,050
-Am I?
-Yeah.
242
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,030
Well, you know, winking
is hard to prove
243
00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:56,000
in one of your law courts, Tim.
244
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,050
Could be just a twitch.
245
00:10:59,050 --> 00:11:03,060
-Is it?
-Who knows?
246
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:05,080
-All righty.
-Okay.
247
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,220
Hey, give me the nod when
you need the cleaners.
248
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:09,030
Oh, I won't need the cleaners.
249
00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:10,120
Oh, you're gonna
need the cleaners.
250
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,030
-Not gonna need the cleaners.
-Hey, I hear ya, Tim.
251
00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:15,120
-Pretty sure you don't.
-You and I are the same, Tim.
252
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,080
-No we're not.
-Yeah, ruthless.
253
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,060
Ruthless man.
254
00:11:21,060 --> 00:11:24,030
Get in there.
255
00:11:24,030 --> 00:11:37,120
♪
256
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,150
-You're looking guilty.
-I'm not.
257
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:41,210
No breakfast, Jarek,
a black star for--
258
00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:44,210
No, no, no, no, not so fast.
259
00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:47,030
(timer chiming)
260
00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:50,030
♪
261
00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:51,220
Here we are.
262
00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:54,110
Two organic free range
Colombian blacktail eggs.
263
00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:56,120
Poached for four minutes
and seventeen seconds.
264
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,060
Homemade soy and flaxseed
bread, and unsalted
265
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:01,150
-Venezuelan goat's butter.
-I'm not hungry.
266
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:03,120
Good to know that
now, thank you.
267
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:06,120
-I have?
-Knock yourself out.
268
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:13,060
No, no, no, no, no, egg no good.
269
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:16,000
Oh dear.
270
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,060
-What?
-Again.
271
00:12:17,060 --> 00:12:18,130
What, you just want
me to redo it?
272
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:21,060
No, I am only homeless guy
you treat like rubbish.
273
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,220
No, no, no, it's fine.
274
00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:25,080
I'll just redo it.
275
00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:31,150
You fix wire, it's
very dangerous.
276
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,160
Maybe you could have a look
at that while I'm at work.
277
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,080
Oh, so Jarek only
useful as house slave.
278
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,000
Eastern European guy so
you treat like animal.
279
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,210
Why don't you put
saddle on back and ride
280
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:43,000
around kitchen like
you raise a moose.
281
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,060
(speaking foreign language)
282
00:12:45,060 --> 00:12:48,240
I quite agree.
283
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,090
Whoa, hey, why two stars?
284
00:12:51,090 --> 00:12:53,210
One for each egg.
285
00:12:53,210 --> 00:12:56,150
♪
286
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:57,210
I have to go to work.
287
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,120
-Toilet blocked again.
-Course it is!
288
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,130
And we need more black stars!
289
00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:05,130
♪
290
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:07,060
Been like this all
week, he's a nightmare.
291
00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:08,180
-So throw him out.
-I can't!
292
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:10,090
-Why not?
-Because!
293
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,110
I'll get more black stars,
294
00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:14,130
and then Paula will
write up a bad report,
295
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:18,000
and then I'll lose
custody of Marcus.
296
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,090
Yes, I am your god and
you worship me, say it!
297
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:24,000
No.
298
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,090
Will you talk to him?
299
00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:27,180
-He just ignores me.
-You want me to talk to a tramp?
300
00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:30,130
-Yeah.
-Why would I do that?
301
00:13:30,130 --> 00:13:33,050
Because that's what
friends do for each other.
302
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:38,210
-Nope, I don't understand.
-Just talk to him, please.
303
00:13:38,210 --> 00:13:40,130
I don't care where he goes,
I just want him out.
304
00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:42,210
-Okay, on one condition.
-Yes, fine.
305
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:45,060
You are my god
and I worship you.
306
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:47,210
That is such a nice thing
to say, but I was actually
307
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:49,190
gonna ask you to help
me move that display.
308
00:13:49,190 --> 00:13:52,130
Oh.
309
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:53,240
Aren't you supposed
to open up by now?
310
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,150
Yeah, look at 'em.
311
00:13:56,150 --> 00:13:58,130
Imbeciles.
312
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:01,000
(screaming)
313
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,120
Go on, get!
314
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:20,120
♪
315
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,030
Sorry, could you
make any more noise?
316
00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:24,060
If you wanted to get
someone out of your house,
317
00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:25,130
um, how would you
go about doing that?
318
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,030
-Probably ask him to marry me.
-Knowing my luck,
319
00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:28,110
Jarek would probably accept.
320
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:31,000
Ah yes, your Bulgarian bromance.
321
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,090
-You live alone, don't you?
-Why?
322
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:35,020
Maybe Jarek could
come stay with you.
323
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:37,110
Aw.
324
00:14:39,090 --> 00:14:41,080
I've just got so much
work to catch up on,
325
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,120
and I don't get
any peace at home.
326
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,000
Don't worry, I'm
sure he'll leave soon.
327
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,180
I've asked my friend
Chris to talk to him so--
328
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,150
-Well, there you go then.
-Yeah.
329
00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:49,090
-You haven't met Chris.
-Tell you what, if Chris
330
00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:51,210
has no success I suppose I
could always help you study.
331
00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:53,000
-Really?
-Sure, why not?
332
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,020
I could come study
at your place.
333
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,080
My place?
334
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:56,030
I thought that's what you meant.
335
00:14:56,030 --> 00:14:58,130
No, yes, that is what I meant.
336
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,210
You come to mine.
337
00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:01,240
Easy, I mean, it's
just a study session.
338
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,180
-It's not like it's a date.
-No.
339
00:15:04,180 --> 00:15:06,060
-How about Saturday night?
-Saturday?
340
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,150
It's just that's when Marcus
stays with his mother.
341
00:15:07,150 --> 00:15:11,180
-Right.
-That is such a relief.
342
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:14,240
-Feel less anxious already.
-Me too.
343
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:18,110
(sighing)
344
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:23,090
First, may I say that my client
has enjoyed your company.
345
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,160
Thank you.
346
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,130
But he feels the current
situation cannot continue.
347
00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:29,020
-Why not?
-Let's just say
348
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:31,090
irreconcilable differences.
349
00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:33,180
However, in recognition
of your contribution,
350
00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:35,060
we are prepared to offer you
351
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:38,180
a very generous
severance package.
352
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:50,020
♪
353
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:52,120
-That's not going to fly, Chris.
-We think it's a pretty
354
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,150
substantial offer given
the economic climate.
355
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:56,110
Fine, well we'll just
have to see what the media
356
00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:58,030
make of it when we
disclose the real
357
00:15:58,030 --> 00:16:01,090
circumstances of
Jarek's...accident.
358
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,020
-You mean--
-That's right, Chris.
359
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:05,150
We've known all along
that Tim fell on Jarek.
360
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:08,130
-You wouldn't dare.
-Try me.
361
00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:14,030
(slurping)
362
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,090
Fine, 1,000 pounds and a one way
flight to Bulgaria on Ryan Air.
363
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:23,110
2,000 pounds and a KLM flight.
364
00:16:23,110 --> 00:16:25,130
-1,500, EasyJet.
-Bulkhead seats.
365
00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:27,050
Regular seats, but
priority boarding.
366
00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:28,060
-Lunch.
-A sandwich.
367
00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:30,150
-On board.
-You're dreaming!
368
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:32,210
Boots meal deal and
I don't introduce
369
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:35,090
our friend to UK Immigration.
370
00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:40,090
(speaking foreign language)
371
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:45,130
My client also wants 13 liters
372
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,220
of industrial strength
toilet cleaner.
373
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:50,060
-Industrial!
-Done,
374
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:53,210
as long as your client's out
of the house within the hour.
375
00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:56,020
-Agreed, thank you.
-Thank you.
376
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:59,120
-Thank you very much.
-Thank you.
377
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:03,050
Now gentlemen, if you'll excuse
me, Hannah Montana is on.
378
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:12,180
♪
379
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:15,110
How's our little problem?
380
00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:17,240
-Being handled, sir.
-Roger that.
381
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,170
Just let me know when
you need the cleaners.
382
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,100
-Not gonna need the cleaners.
-Oh you're gonna need--
383
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:23,060
Can we please not
get into this again?
384
00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:26,160
♪
385
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,180
I like everything
about you, Tim.
386
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:30,100
Okay.
387
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:33,120
(screaming)
388
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,220
(water rushing)
389
00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:41,120
♪
390
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:44,110
Jarek, your taxi will
be here in ten minutes!
391
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:46,170
Okay, okay!
392
00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:56,230
♪
393
00:17:56,230 --> 00:18:00,100
(switch sparking)
394
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:03,190
Jarek?
395
00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:07,000
Jarek!
396
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,170
-Oh dear.
-Still nothing?
397
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,120
No, I don't know
what he's doing.
398
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,120
Thought he would call
me straight after.
399
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,180
So I was thinking for Saturday,
400
00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:15,100
I might as well make
a bit of dinner.
401
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,180
Nothing flash, just
a little nibble.
402
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:22,060
So I was wondering, is there
anything you don't...
403
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,110
Like?
404
00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:26,010
Really wish people
would stop doing that!
405
00:18:26,010 --> 00:18:27,080
Well, sorry.
406
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,060
You know you're not
supposed to come to my work.
407
00:18:29,060 --> 00:18:33,020
-How'd it go?
-It's good news and bad news.
408
00:18:33,020 --> 00:18:34,230
What's the bad news?
409
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:38,000
Jarek's dead.
410
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,010
Any chance the good news
offsets the bad news?
411
00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:41,240
Not really.
412
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,180
I asked you to
negotiate with him.
413
00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:45,000
I did!
414
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,240
Well it sounds like you're
a little inflexible!
415
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:50,000
He electrocuted himself on
your dodgy light switches.
416
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,120
-Oh God, does Marcus know?
-Not yet.
417
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:56,120
-I hid the body in his yoga mat.
-Ew.
418
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,060
What are we gonna do?
419
00:18:58,060 --> 00:19:01,180
(whimpering)
420
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,100
-All right, leave it to me.
-Okay.
421
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,060
I think I know
someone who can help.
422
00:19:10,060 --> 00:19:14,080
♪
423
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,220
My fingerprints are everywhere.
424
00:19:16,220 --> 00:19:21,110
♪
425
00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:23,000
Don't you worry
about a thing, Tim.
426
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,060
-My boys will take it from here.
-Really not what you think.
427
00:19:25,060 --> 00:19:27,110
I know, of course,
an accident, boo-hoo.
428
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:28,240
It was.
429
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,200
Damn it, Tim,
you complete me.
430
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:35,000
Everybody, that guy,
ruthless, learn from him.
431
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,050
Permission to call
an ambulance, sir?
432
00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:42,110
Yeah, yeah, yeah
permission granted.
433
00:19:42,110 --> 00:19:43,200
-That was a good result then.
-It's really not
434
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,080
what it looks like, I only
asked him to go round--
435
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,120
Actually, I'd rather not know
the details if that's okay.
436
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,050
Okay.
437
00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:52,140
At least I won't have to
bother you at the weekend.
438
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:54,230
So, you know,
you're off the hook.
439
00:19:54,230 --> 00:19:56,200
Hooray.
440
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,130
♪
441
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,060
I guaranteed my
viewers a follow-up
442
00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:06,000
and now I'm gonna look
like a complete tit!
443
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,180
Yeah, I just came
home and he was gone.
444
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:11,000
-Damn, damn, damn.
-Sorry.
445
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000
It's okay.
446
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,170
We'll just have to
make something up.
447
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,180
-Right, when you say make up--
-Oh, I don't know, the usual.
448
00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:20,230
Veiled character attack on you,
unsubtle innuendo suggesting
449
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:23,100
of foul play and perversions.
450
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:25,050
I'll figure something out,
don't worry about me.
451
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:27,120
-Okay, good.
-Unless of course,
452
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:30,160
Tim comes on your show
and confesses to--
453
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,060
I don't know, having
Jarek deported?
454
00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:35,050
-Absolutely not.
-That's a brilliant idea.
455
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:38,060
"Hero disgraced on
national television."
456
00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:40,060
-It has a ring to it.
-I'm never--there's no way
457
00:20:40,060 --> 00:20:42,010
-I'm doing that.
-But you see, if you don't,
458
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:44,110
then I'll have to dig into
every part of your life.
459
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:47,070
Your family, your
girlfriends, your work.
460
00:20:47,070 --> 00:20:50,050
-My work?
-Everything.
461
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,220
-This is ridiculous.
-And remember, Tim,
462
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:55,010
we're gonna need
plenty of tears.
463
00:20:55,010 --> 00:20:57,160
-Forget it.
-Oceans of tears.
464
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,100
♪
465
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,000
You're a despicable
person, aren't you?
466
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,100
Yes.
467
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:06,110
You're a spiteful, heartless,
468
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:08,120
perverted monster.
469
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:11,100
-Yes.
-Say it.
470
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:14,040
-I am a spiteful, heartless--
-Perverted.
471
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,120
Yes, thank you,
perverted monster.
472
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:21,120
-You're basically a total--
-I think we've seen enough.
473
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,220
They made it seem
worse than it was.
474
00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:24,160
This makes it harder
for us to be together.
475
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,010
-Us?
-There is no us, Tim.
476
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:29,240
-Let it go.
-But you just said--
477
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,160
But you said this--
478
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:36,000
Okay, fine.
479
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,180
-Hey!
-In anticipation.
480
00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:39,070
It's been a tough
couple of weeks, Tim.
481
00:21:39,070 --> 00:21:41,130
Currently there's no contest
between you and Philip.
482
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:43,180
Really don't wanna
talk about Philip.
483
00:21:43,180 --> 00:21:46,000
-No offense, Philip.
-None taken, bubba.
484
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,200
But who's for giving
Tim another chance?
485
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,200
-No.
-No.
486
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,100
Absolutely.
487
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:54,190
So, let's see if we can't turn
things around and start over.
488
00:21:54,190 --> 00:21:58,110
-Oh, terrific.
-Oh, negative attitude.
489
00:21:58,110 --> 00:22:00,140
Okay, good.
490
00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:30,200
♪
35350
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