All language subtitles for Smooch.2011.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[Girl, narrating]
And so it came to pass,

having vanquished
the enemies of the king,

the brash and brave
young knight,

Flynn of Stewart,

his long journey done,
returned home,

with heart wide open,

to free his lady fair.

What mischief be this?

[muffled shouts]

Zounds.

What treachery.

Fear not, milady.

[cat yowls]

Mmm!

Ohh!

Ohh!

Alack!

Thou hath returned
too late.

While you were out warring,
Halsey--

My brother.

We're betrothed.

And this is his idea
of courtship?

Zounds.

Thou art but bait.

We must away!

[grunt]

We must away!

We must away.
Away!

I am not going out
that way.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Unhand her,
you vain, foppish prig.

By Beelzebub--

Tell me,
he doesn't still have you

doing his dirty work.

You know this
pitiful creature?

Mm. Our nursemaid.

Always favored Halsey,
she did.

The old toady.

I'll give you toady.

Green, green ye shall be

for all eternity

until the purest maiden fair

lays a smooch on thee.

[maiden gasps]

[sigh]

Not again.

[ribbit]

Oh, Flynn,
why can't you be real?

This is the year Mom
meets her mystery knight.

[snoring]

[snorting]

[snoring]

Good night, Mrs. Polansky.

Zoe,
I know you can hear me.

[singsong]
Give me my kissy or else.

Or else.
[giggling]

Do you give? Do you give?
Do you give?
Never.

Okay, okay, okay.
Give me it. Gimme, gimme.

Geez, nothing comes between
you and your frog man.

Prince, Mom. Frog prince.

Well, it wouldn't hurt you

to spend a little less time
with make-believe

and a little more time
with math. Come on.

Sure, as soon as you
do a little less work

and have
a little more fun.

I have all the fun
I need to have with you.

Now sleep.

Mommy.

I miss Daddy, too,

but he'd want you to live
happily ever after.

You are my happily
ever after, Zoe.

Good night, Daddy.

You handsome rascal, you.

When I think of all
the hearts sure to break

when they hear
their favorite marquis, me,

Percival Summerland,
is off the market.

Talking to ourselves
again, sir?

At least I don't give me
a hard time

over everything, Wilkins.

At least I know my place.
Oh.

If you're referring
to my reminding you

that a marriage without love--
Oh, stop being
so old-fashioned.

Love never goes
out of fashion, sir.

Well, tell that
to the royal pains in my--
That would be rude

and impudent to offer
the Duke and the Duchess.

You have no problem
pointing out--
Oh, what, pointing out

your foolishness, Percival?
No. None indeed.

Thank you, Wilkins.
And thus concludes
today's lecture.

Final lecture, sir.

For if you insist on
throwing away your future--

I'm not throwing
away my future.

I'm surrendering to it.

Oh, you mean resigning, sir?
I have one job.

One responsibility,
to my family and my title.

I marry someone.
The right someone.

And besides, I'm not about
to throw away my life

on some antiquated notion
of true love.

I'm sorry, Wilkins,
but I like my life.

I like doing
whatever strikes my fancy.

It's fun.

Fun to toy with the innocent
heart of another?

Oh, please.
It's an arranged marriage.

Hillary doesn't love me.
She barely knows me.

Oh, would you please
help me with this?

Sir, just so we're clear,

your persisting
in this charade places me
in an untenable position.

Meaning what?
You'd resign?

You know, somewhere
deep inside you,

there's a prince of a man
dying to get out.
[chuckles]

I just pray that you find him
before it's too late.

Mm. Good job, Wilkins.

Naturally, sir.

[camera shutter clicks]
Marvelous.

And big smiles.

And with the parents, please.

And your hand on his chest

so we can see
your engagement ring.

And the ring.

And the ring.

And the ring.

And the ring.

And the ring.

And the ring.

Have you tried
the bird, my dear?
Divine.

So flavorful on the palate.
It better be.

We specified only organic,
vegan-fed squab be served.

Is this buckshot?
Can you see it, Percy?

My poise? I've been
refining it.

Mother says I owe it
to our subjects
to always look majestic.

After all, we are going
to be majesties.

I think the June wedding
is highly overrated.
Exactly.

Such a plebeian month.

And besides,
we spend all our Junes

summering in the south
of France.

Of course. We spend ours

at our award-winning
vineyards in Napa.

How's your July?
Maritime modeling festival.

Top judge this year. August?

International bridge
championship.
Oh.

Here I took you
for a Yahtzee man.

And for our honeymoon, I was
thinking of taking in one
of our commonwealth countries.

You know, a cute-sounding one,
like Papua New Guinea.

I just love
the Caribbean.

South Pacific, Hillary.
Hmm?

Papua New Guinea's
in the South Pacific.
Oh.

Better start brushing up
on my geography, then.

After all, we are going
to carry on your family's
grand tradition

and send our children
abroad for school.

Think how much fun
it'll be to visit them.

It'll be like taking
a vacation.
Yes.

Well, September it is, then.

That'll give us plently of time
to manipulate the media,

a re: our family alliance.

Yet one must remember
one's station.

Publicity is
for the common people,

and we are never common.
But if our sweet babies

spend too much time
in Australia,

they might develop
an Australian accent,

which I find a little tinny
on the ear, don't you?

I mean, it is
rather common, right?

An Australian accent,
compared to yours?

It's considered common.
Because the last thing

we would want to do
is raise common children.

Wonder what New Zealand
sounds like.

Just stepping out
for a bit of fresh air, Henry.

[heart pounds]

Steady, sir. Bit close
for my comfort,
given your vertigo.

Here. Let me
see to that.

I've got it.

May I be of any other
service, sir?

No, Wilkins.
You've done enough.

What?

Yo, prom queen.
Take a hike.

Okay? If you hurry, you
might get to the ball
in time to get crowned.

Or we could
play a game of arrows,

see who buys
the next round of drinks.

You're on, buddy.
Good.

And one not even looking.

Ah! Eh voila.
[laughs]

Thank you, thank you.
Barkeep, round of drinks
for my mateys.

♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ Early in the morning

♪ Way-hay up she rises

♪ Way-hay up she rises

♪ Way-hay up she rises

♪ Early in the morning

♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ Early in the morning

♪ Way-hay up she rises

♪ Way-hay up she rises

♪ Way-hay up she rises
I have just the thing
for this drunken sailor.

We're low on milk.
Check.

And juice.
Check.

And celery, carrots,
and tomatoes.
Check, check.

Very funny, Zoe.
Check.

Okay. Homework.

Lunch box.

To the top.

Okay.

Ugh. My--
Keys?

Thank you.

Check.

Mrs. Polansky is making you

pasta with vegetables tonight.
I have to work late.

You mean pasta drowning

in another one of her
chunky, bland sauces?

Yes. You should
eat your vegetables.
They're good for you.

And hat on.
Mom.

On.

Is that really necessary?

It's a zillion degrees
in here.

It's cold and flu season,
Mrs. Beeker.

Can't be too careful.

[elevator dings]

And you'd better be wearing
your hat when Mrs. Polansky
picks you up.

I don't see you
wearing a hat, missy.

Okay, so, Mrs. Polansky
will be here at 3.

I'll call you from work.
Have a good day.

All right? I love
you very much.

Bye.
Bye.

[bell rings]

Hey, Zoe.
Hi, Sam.

Um, you want to be
my lab partner?

Oh, Sam? I saved
a seat for you.

Right next to me.

Oh. Do you want to share
my chewing gum?
Sure.

Does everybody have a frog?

Frog, frog, frog.

Frog. Zoe?
Zoe, come get your frog.

Now, take it back to your seat
and wait for it to die.

[ribbit]

[bell rings]

Leave your specimens.
We're moving on to mammals
on Monday.

Are you thirsty,
Mr. Froggy?

[girls laughing]

Can you even believe her?

That stupid Zoo-ey.
No, I can't, I can't.

Thinking she can even
look at Sam.

What a loser.
I mean, look at me.

And then look at her.
You're so much prettier than--

[ribbit]

[ribbit]

[screaming]

It was, like,
a really big snake,

and I think it came
from the toilet.

[bell rings]

Just one more sec,
Mr. Froggy.
[ribbit]

Oh. Did I hurt you?

I'm so sorry. Here,
let me kiss your booboo.

Hey, Zoe.
Uh, hi, Sam.

You ditch too?

Me ditch too.

[ribbit]
Me ditch too?

[groaning]

Froggy?
[groans]

[ribbit]
[groans]

[whistles]
Froggy?

[groaning]

Oh my gosh.

A webbed foot?

The kiss. I turned
a frog into a prince.

Ugh.

[groans]

Oh, man, froggy.

What am I gonna do with you?

Can't just leave you here.

Not like this.
You'll freeze to death.

Well, if he should happen

to stumble into
your fine establishment again

for another game of chance,

if you would be so good
as to contact me.

And only me.

I'll make it well worth
your time and consideration.

[horn honks]

I'd love a cup of tea.

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

[gunshots]

[gunshot]

[ding]

[groans]

Oh.

[groaning]

Yeesh. Besides being
filthy dirty and stinky,

you're kind of beat up.
[groans]

Knock off the croaking. Talk.

My head.

Wash.

Somewhere, deep
under all that gunk,
is a prince.

Deep. Prince.
Exactly.

If Mom finds out,
I'm so dead.

[sighs]

[groans]

Majesty, you stink.

I don't remember anything.

Who are you?

[Zoe]
Somewhere, deep under
all that gunk,

is a prince.
[Wilkins]
--Prince of a man,

dying to get out.

[groaning]

[splash]

Yoo-hoo.

Are you okay?

Where am I?

"Green, green you shall be
for all eternity,

till the purest maiden fair
lays a smooch on thee."

I know it's a lot
to take in all at once,

but when you add up
your webbed toes,

the sash, my kiss,
all the evidence is here

that you are, in fact,
the actual Frog Prince.

I'm sorry, but none of this
makes even a bit of sense.

Hey, you're the one who
doesn't remember who you are

or how you got here.

At least I have a logical
explanation to offer you.

Let me see that.

"Having vanquished
the enemies of the king,

"the brash and brave
young knight Flynn of Stewart

"returned home."

Lady fair, treachery,
betrothed, zounds.

Who on earth says "zounds"?

It's not normal.

Coming out of your mouth,
with that fancy English accent
of yours,

more incontrovertible proof
you are indeed a prince.

Don't look at me like that.
Try again, you'll see.

Zounds.

No. Like you mean it.

Zounds.

Zounds. Zounds!

[both laugh]

This is nothing
but poppycock.

I mean, no man,
and certainly no brave knight,
would ever say "zounds."

The you in the book does.

[laughs]
[door closes]

That's gotta be
Mrs. Polansky.

What have you done
to my floor?
Go on.

She won't understand.

Jail or worse if she
finds out you're here.

For both of us.
But I--

No buts, Flynn. Here.

Read all about you.
I--

Leaving early?
Walking home alone?

Well, see--
I searched that entire
school for you.

Almost had a heart attack.

I can't take this anymore.

[sighs]

Bye.

A miscommunication.

You really want
to stick with that?

Zoe, do you have any idea
what it does to my day

to have another nanny quit
over something you've done?

Especially one who
liked my lists as much
as Mrs. Polansky.

I don't want a nanny.
I want you.

Sweetie, you have me.

But you know I can't
leave you home alone

while I go to work. I have to
support this family.

And this does not help.

And what happened in here?

I overfilled the tub.

No kidding.
What is that smell?

It's like pond scum.

We dissected frogs
in science.

I must have got
frog guts on me.

Well, wash them off
and clean this up.

I have to go back
to the restaurant because
I have to do the books.

And you know what that means.

Mom.

I'm calling Mrs. Beeker.

[Announcer]
The odds of making
2 holes in 1

are about 9,222,500 to 1.

The man who defied
those odds? Dr. Eli Gibney.

Don't you just love
these great moments in golf
highlights, Mrs. Beeker?

Mrs. B.?

Prithee, allow me
to introduce myself,
fair miss.

Prince Flynn of Stewart,
dashing older brother

to the loathsome Halsey
of Stewart.

So tell me something
I don't know.

Halsey's a snake. I've
been there, read that.

But right now, we gotta
get you someplace Mom
hardly ever goes.

Snake is too kind.

Halsey stole my lady,
intent on marrying her,

upon the lie
that I was unworthy.

Well, you were
always unworthy.

Chapter 2,
that joust you lost?

Chapter 5,
deserting your post?

Chapter 9, almost drowning
in the moat?

Well, I never was
much of a swimmer.

You spent six months
as a frog.

The water was freezing.

Here, look.

It's all right here.

Well?
Egad, you're right.

Chapter after chapter,
nothing but a disappointment.

All looks
and no game.

No wonder my lady
found me lacking.

Mrs. Beeker?
Mrs. Beeker, wake up.

Don't just sit there. Mom's
back from her restaurant.

Come on, come on. In here.

Here, take this.

You should have seen--
I've just never seen
a tournament like that.

It was just-- A hole in one
and then--
Yeah, sounds amazing.

And it just kept going
on and on.
Fantastic.

Thank you. Good night.
Good night.

[sighs]

Zoe, I'm sorry
for losing my temper.

But I just can't help
worrying about you,

and when we have a day like
today, I go a little crazy.

[sighs]
Sweetie, come on,
talk to me.

What in the world
came over you?

You wouldn't believe me
if I told you.

Of course I would.

What I said
about dissected frogs?

I couldn't do it, so I
ditched to set him free.

But I hurt him and kissed him
and turned him into a prince.

Which makes sense, as there's
a blue moon this month.

Meaning tons more
love and magic.

Sweetie, you know
that a blue moon

is nothing more
than a lunar event.

There's no magic.

I mean, why can't you be
like other girls your age

and just be obsessed
with werewolves and vampires?

Is that what this is about?

I have some amazing
mystery prince
as a valentine?

Baby, you're
my favorite valentine.

I'm not a baby. Maybe
somebody else wants to be
my valentine this year.

Somebody not you.

Oh. So that's how it is.

You got a better offer.

No. Maybe.

It's more than that.

Daddy's valentine?

I never told you,
but that last year,

when he gave me this,
Daddy said he wanted me,

you and me, to someday
have another someone special

to give us valentines.

I was just hoping, you know,
that this would be the year.

Ghastly is what it is.

To go gallivanting
who knows where

with who knows who, when he
knew we had plans to be
in Gstaad this week.

It's reprehensible.
And to have to bring in
the local authorities.

Wilkins, how is it

you so easily tracked
Percy to that circus

he joined in Milan, yet

cannot find him here?
Shocking, my lord.

Undone by the mad carnival
that is San Francisco.

I brought extra coffee
for the Frog Prince.

Where is he?

Psst.

Wake up. Hey.

Do not, under
any circumstances, go anywhere.

I have to figure out
where you're gonna live
now that you're a man again.

So stay.

[chuckles]

Replace Mrs. Polansky.

Ruthie?
You can't be serious.

Come on, it helps me think.

Fine. Check.

I could read some
of Zoe's books.
Check.

I could--
Stop making lists

to avoid dealing with
what really matters. Check.

Like you know everything.

I know that Zoe's infatuation

with this Frog Prince
is just her way of filling
an emotional void.

Thank you, Dr. Phil.
Look, mock all you want,

but you're living your life
as if it's on hold

and smothering Zoe
in the process.

Which doesn't lead
to open communication,

like knowing she has
a crush on some boy.

Okay, I will admit it.

I don't know what to do.

You know what to do. You
just don't want to do it.

And you know that what
Zoe really wants

is what you really need,
an M-A-N man.

I don't need a man,
and what I really want
is a happy daughter.

Prove it.
Go on a date.

Have some fun.
Take a chance on love.

Love takes too much time,
and I already don't have
enough time as it is.

No one has
enough time, Gwen.

Why do you think I like
having Stanley around?

He may not be a prince,
but he's a heck of a cop
and a great husband.

I know I'm just your older,
much wiser sister,

so why should you
listen to me,

but Zoe would benefit
from a male influence,

and it wouldn't be so bad
for you either.

It's just ridiculous.

What's ridiculous?

Um, how late it is.

Yes. It is getting late.

And Jason's alone
with Stanley. Bye.

Bye.

You eat,
then dress.

With no one here to watch you,
you're gonna need to come
to work with me today,

so bring some homework.
I promised Mrs. B.
I'd stick around.

You want to spend
your whole Saturday
with Mrs. Beeker? You?

I promised her I'd help
her do her laundry.

And besides, I'm saving
for a new outfit, and she's
gonna give me five bucks.

This is so surprising.

I had no idea you
were a budding laundress.

Yeah, it's a new
passion of mine.

Well, I really appreciate
the help.

Bet Mr. B. used to help too.

Oh, yes. My Harold
found household chores
quite relaxing.

Must be nice, being
surrounded by his stuff.

Like, maybe some
of his old clothes
around here somewhere.

You know, to remind
you of him.

Oh, yes. I never could
part with any of it.

I'll just put these
away for you.

I don't care what Ruthie says,
Stanley, I'm not in a rut.

Come on. If this isn't a rut,
I don't know what is.

I grew up here with Matt.

Since his folks
opened the restaurant.

We played together,
got in trouble together.

Met a pair of beautiful
sisters and married them.

But you haven't changed
a thing around here in years.

Look, Gwen.

Even a guy like me

can only eat so much
of your magnificent meatloaf

before he wants
a cheeseburger.

And if Matt were here,
I think he'd
tell you the same.

Maybe it's time for you
to just shake things up
a little bit.

That's all I'm saying.

Flynn, look what I got.

What do you think
you're doing?

Give me that.

I meant no harm. I--

Wow. Look how little I am.
Yes.

I have been. For hours.
Look at Mom.

Look at Daddy. They were
so great together.

You have his eyes, you know.
Your father's.

Sir Matthew of Cole.

Just Matthew.
Cole's our last name,
not our kingdom.

If it's not
too forward of me--

Daddy died
when I was 7.

He had cancer. But we--
We had lots and lots
of time to say goodbye.

This is in the park,
not too far
from where I found you.

It was our spot.

Mom would fix
these great picnic dinners

and we'd just go
be there together.

Daddy would make up
the corniest stories

on how the squirrels
were plotting
against the ducks.

Silly stuff. Mom doesn't
like going anymore.

She usually comes home
early on Saturdays.

We better hurry if we're gonna
keep you off the streets.

Why would I be
on the streets?

'Cause if I can't convince
my mom to hire you
as my male nanny,

that's where you'll
be living.

No.

No.

No.

Yes.

Okay. Now,
for this to work,

you need
a total makeover.

Just relax.

Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

[sighs]

Hey, good afternoon.
What can I get you?

Cup of tea.

With milk, please.

Hot.

Pardon?

Uh, your milk.
Would you like it hot?

I mean warmed.
No. That won't be necessary.

Anything else?
Something to eat?

Prince Charles told me that if
I was ever in San Francisco,

that I must sample
the hot apple pie
at Cole's Coffee Shop.

Right. And I'm
the Queen Mother.

Lady Gwendolyn,
I understand that you're--

How do you know my name?

Oh, why, only because
your proclamation

as the proprietor
heralds you so.

Flynn Stewart, nanny
to the English monarchy.

Retired.

So tell me, how'd it go?

We interview tonight,
7 P.M. sharp.

Great. Time
for your makeover.

Part two.
Okay.

[party photographer]
Marvelous. And big smiles.

Flynn, I bought you
a briefcase.

Oh. Thank you.

Mm-hmm. You're welcome.

This is so great.

See? You can make yourself
into anybody, Flynn.

Flynn?
Thou art indeed

the most handsome knight
in all the land.

Talking to yourself
there, Flynn?

[Wilkins]
Talking to ourselves
again, sir?

Give me that.

I meant no harm.
It's just look, it's me.

See how handsome I am?

Please tell me
you didn't open it.

This is the limited edition,
collectible Blue Moon doll.

Oh, thank goodness.

You didn't open
the others, did you?

The Lady or the Halsey?

These are not for playing.
We never open these toys.

Understand?
[clears throat]
Yes.

We don't have all day, and I
have to get this finished.

'Kay. Wait here
for ten minutes, tops.

And don't forget the handshake.
Mom's big on those.

Hey, Zoo-y.

We've been out shopping
all day for Valentine's Day.

I bought the cutest outfit
to wear for Sam.

Oh, look, girls.
Cirque du Soleil
must be in town.

Mistress Zoe,
are these children
known to you?

I'm Kate Bassett.
And you are?

I? Why, I am-- Oh, my.

What's this?
What?

Are you some kind
of fortune teller
or something?

Is he, Zoe?

Only the world's best.

[tsking]
Well,

what do you see? Tell me.

Well, sadly, that you
are a spoiled imp.

And unless you repent
and mend your cruel ways,

will live a life
in a solitary state.

And from here on,
wear only common clothing.

Oh, and, ducky.
Your little chums?

They mock you
behind your back.

Kate, wait.
Too hard? Too soft?

Just right.
See you in ten.

Okay. Thank you,
Mrs. Beeker.

[grunts]

Ow.

Get off him.
Get away from him.

Wait, stop.
Now beat it
like a rented mule.

[knocking]

[screaming]
Jason, get back here.

Oh, dear. So?

Where is
this royal nanny?

Late. And I really don't
need your help, Ruthie.

Yes, you do.
And Stanley insisted.
[glass shatters]

Oh! No jumping.
Jason, get down from there
this instant.

Okay.

Oh, this flake
is definitely a no-show.

You can go home now, Ruthie,
and take Jackson Pollock,
Junior with you.

[knocking]

I'll get it.

[knocking]

I'd hang onto that
if I were you.

Please, forgive
my tardiness.

What happened to you?

I ran into a bit
of a hiccup. Sorry.

This is no time for sorry.
Head up, chest out.

Let's see some charm.

[coughs]

Licensed by the BMA,
bonded by Lloyd's of London.

An RAF veteran.
What can anybody say but wow?

Jason, stop finger painting
with your mashed potatoes
and eat.

It's all gooey
and everything's touching.

[echoing]
Everything's touching.

[Fiancée, echoing]
It's considered common.

My nephew, he's got
some sort of finicky
food mushing disorder.

By your leave, my ladies?

Madam, if I may.
Knock yourself out.

Young sir, in my youth,
I too found that
when foods collided,

the meal was not
to my liking.

Really?
Verily.

However, when one
took the time

to divide up the meats,
greens, and starches,

and gave them ample space
to live in harmony
on the plate,

my compulsion
to mash my food
was suddenly gone.

And the meal
not only appealing,

but rather yummy.

What say you
give it a go?

[chuckles]

I call dibs
if you don't want him.

What do you mean call?
You saw him with Jason.

This guy's
a miracle worker.

A looker, too.

Mr. Stewart.
Flynn, my lady.

Simply Flynn.
Okay, Flynn.

You've got the job.
How soon can you start?

There's no time
like the present.
Great. Where are you staying?

Why?
Because you'll want
to get your belongings,

so you can move in.
Mom, I think he means the W.

My belongings
are on my back.

I left my things someplace
and have no clue

as to their whereabouts.
Isn't it just like
the airlines

to lose all his luggage?
Since no one seems
to need me,

guess we'll be going.

Pardon me, my lady.

Oh.

A thousand times,
good night.

You too. I'll
be seeing you--

Right.
...real soon.

Good night, Ruthie.
Good night. Okay. Bye-bye.

Okay. So, you will escort
Zoe to and from school,

supervise homework, shop,
do light housework,

and see that she has
three squares a day.

I find that detailing
assignments in writing

really helps
with communication.
Any questions?

Only one. Where does one
acquire these squares
for Miss Zoe?

[Zoe laughs]
Acquire squares.

What a kidder.

[both chuckle]

[yawns]

Would you look
at the time.

Shouldn't we show
Flynn his bedroom?

Let him get some rest?

[beeps]
Yeah.

Your call from Scotland Yard
is on line 2.

Thanks, Effie.
[beeps]

Inspector O'Malley here.
Inspector.

Good to finally speak.

Yeah, listen. I was wondering
if you had anything
on a gentleman

who goes by the name
of Flynn Stewart.

Everyone has a bad day
once in a while, Flynn,

but you, yesterday--
Yes, my lady,
a blooming disaster.

Let's review, shall we?

Bacon will catch fire
if left unattended.
Check.

Dish towel not
a fire extinguisher.
Check.

Colors run in hot water.
Check.

And should any
of these bad days
happen again--

My services will no longer
be required, my lady?

Check.

And so you don't get lost,
Zoe's school is right here.

Mom, I'm gonna be there
to show him.

Not when he comes
to pick you up.

And button-- Flynn?
To the top.

From now on,
whatever happens,

keep your mouth shut
and smile.

Oh. My keys.

Good thing
Flynn reminded me.

Okay. So, use these
at Walgreen's,

these at Safeway,
and these to get
my dry cleaning,

and I want receipts.
Now, let's talk
about groceries.

Who doesn't know how to get
to Fisherman's Wharf?

He's new in town.
Really new.

You take a cable car downhill
till you hit the Bay.
How hard is that?

It's you. Flynn, right?

It's me. Remember?

Mr. Wong gave me
a hundred bucks
to split with you,

but by the time the cops left,
you'd disappeared.

Police? What is--
What is this about, Flynn?

You know this Prince Valiant?

He's our new nanny.
Well,

some no-goodnik was trying
to rob poor Mr. Wong,

and boom, we sure took him
downtown, didn't we, cutie?

Take good care of him.

Right.

Okay. So, seeing you are
a local crime fighter,

I suppose the least
I could do is

show you around and get you
started on the right foot.

Oh, there's no need for you
to miss work, Mom.

I can just take a day
off of school--

Uh, no. You're going to school.

I will get them started
at work and I will be
back here to meet you

at 9 sharp.
Your generosity, my dear lady,

is--
Yes, yes, yes, fine. Okay.

Love you.

The thing is, Mom
doesn't mean to be bossy.

It's just that
after Dad died,

she took on a lot
of responsibility and--

This isn't helping, is it?
No.

Hey, Zoe.
Hi, Sam.

Have a good weekend?

Sure. You?

Good.

Good.

And who might
this young rogue be?

Flynn, this is Sam.
Sam, Flynn.
Hi.

My new nanny.
Who was just going.

Yes.
Good luck with Mom.

And remember.

Of course.

Pleasure meeting you, Sam.

You know, I would have figured
him more for a butler

than a nanny, but cool hat.

You're ready early.
I like that.

As I appreciate your kindness.
Well, my kindness
is on the clock.

I have one hour to give you.

Apparently fish, if you
can smell it--

It's bad. Yeah.
You don't buy it.

It's got to have a clear eye
and it's got to--

Check.

Come on.

♪ Got these memories

♪ Swimming laps
around my head ♪
First, look at the fish.

Does it shine? You
want it to shine.

And then smell it.

A fish that's really fresh
is like clean water.

Young sir, what,
pray tell, are these?

Legs, old dude.
Fresh frog legs.

[gasping]

Guess I won't take him
to my butcher in Chinatown.

Hate to see what a hanging
Peking Duck does to him.

♪ So much love now
from above ♪

Oh, puka shell bracelets.

I had one of these
when I was Zoe's age.

My first boyfriend
gave it to me.

Right before he broke up
with me because I wouldn't
French kiss him.

[chuckles]

Enough foolishness.

But we really don't
have time for this.
Oh, yes, you do.

Everyone has time
for the museum of the city
of San Francisco toys.

Oh, please. You're gonna love
it. You're gonna love it.
Fine.

[no audible dialogue]

Okay, be strong.
[stammering]

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Ooh. Help me.

Ow. Ah.

Come on.

This you've got to try.
It's fantastic.

It's fun.
Fine, fine, fine.

[buzzer buzzing]

Wild.
I'd-- I'd like to see.

Ah. I think you're
gonna hit passionate.

Wild? Well, you know.

♪ So much love
now from above ♪

♪ You watch her dancing
with the wind ♪

♪ I'm singing through
this candle to you ♪

♪ Pray it's
not just pretend ♪

♪ Burning for a little more

♪ Over my best friend

♪ Gave me music
Gave me soul ♪

Yeah, Alice, I'm just
gonna grab a quick bite.

No. No, everything's fine.

Uh, breaking in my new nanny
is taking me a little longer
than expected.

I'll be five minutes.

I am delighted to pay.

You know, I haven't taken
a day off like this
in too many years.

You actually got me
to break my routine.

To just enjoy a simple glass
of wine with lunch.

And [speaking French].

A meal without wine is like
a day without sunshine.

And a sight this spectacular
commands nothing less.

I live in such
a beautiful city,

and I never take
the time to enjoy it.

Thank you for slowing me
down for a bit, Flynn.

It is I who
thanks you, my lady.

For your kindness.
And your trust.

To my sweet daughter, then.

Mistress Zoe?
I could tell

from the start
that she cares for you.

And you for her.

So yes. To Mistress Zoe.
Yes.

Though I don't see how anybody
in their right mind

goes from Oxford to nanny.

I suppose, um,

I've made it a point

to never question the why
in my life,

but rather live
in the moment.

So leaving the monarchy,
it's just...

your latest adventure.

In a manner of speaking.

Pardon my impudence,

but I can't help noticing

you still wear your ring.

Forgive my asking
such a personal question.

I don't--
No. No no.

It's okay. It's--

It's that-- It's that Matt
put it on me.

And I can't imagine
taking it off.

I know I'm
such a cliché.

The widow who never
stops mourning,

never...

never really moves on.

Zoe wants me to,
and Ruthie,

and Stanley. Even I
want me to.

But...

I'm just stuck, I guess.

I don't know why I'm
telling you all this. I'm--

It's quite all right.
It's quite all right.
No.

It's kind of
embarrassing, actually.

[sniffs]

[bell rings]

So tell me. Are you okay?

Did things go okay with Mom?

I suppose you could say
things went swimmingly.

No pun intended.

So will we be waiting
for your handsome chum
to retrieve his bike?

Where'd you get that idea?
Let's go.

Oh. Pity. I myself was
rather hoping to speak
with him again, young Sam.

About what?
You know, his preference
in bicycles,

where he has
his hair cut, you.

Oh, don't play coy
with me, young miss.

I know you're keen
on the lad.

So what if I am? Every girl
in seventh grade likes him.

Aha. So that tart Kate
fancies him?

Zoe, with you in the game,

no other young miss
stands a chance.

Especially one so unpleasant.

Are you nuts?
Go up against her?

Mistress, if I have
learnt anything

from the total lack of courage
I too often display
in my books,

it's that if one is
unwilling to put it all
on the line for love,

what good is the winning?
But what if Sam
doesn't like me that way?

The way I like him.

I so want him to be
my valentine.

Well then, into the breach
you must go, Zoe.

Heart wide open.

Ready to take your bumps
and bruises.

No foe keeping you
from your prize.

Sure, Flynn. Flowery words
sound great coming
from some Frog Prince.

But I'm just
an 11-year-old girl.

I didn't grow up
in some castle.

I don't have subjects
calling me Your Majesty.

[Fiancée] Mother says I
owe it to our subjects
to always look majestic.

After all, we are
going to be majesties.

[echoing]
majesties... are going
to be majesties.

Stanley, it's sweet
of you to worry,

but you're barking
up the wrong tree.

Well, I've called
around, Gwen.

Even Scotland Yard.

And the princes have had
a Margaret and a Mary,

even a Hermione as nannies.

Okay, so the royal family has
gone through a lot of nannies.

They're all women, Gwen.

Not a man amongst them.

And no Flynn.

And as far as
these credentials,

a smart kid with a computer
could print that up
in an afternoon.

I think Flynn is
a very nice man.

Zoe likes him.
I like him.

And I know if you met him
you would like him too.

I might. But I'm gonna
keep poking around,
just to be sure.

Stanley--
Listen, I didn't say
I was gonna

take him downtown
for questioning, Gwen.

Geez.
All right. But I expect
an apology

when you find out
how wonderful he is.

Huh. Zoe actually
finished her homework.

[Flynn]
Hee-yah.

[Zoe]
Prepare thyself, big brother.

Thou art no brother.
Vile thief who steals
my beauty, my love.

Pah! It is my heart
she desires.

[gasps]
What is that I hear?

[chuckles]
Could it be my rescuer?

Coming to save me
from this castle keep?

Verily, it is I, your prince.

Do not be fooled, for he loves
none as he loves himself,

and will only bring you
heartache when he
returns to the bog

and froggyhood.
What?

Gets turned into a frog again.

Oh.
For green, green ye shall be

never to kiss
the lips of she.

Nay. Nay, the cure
is mine alone to give.

And I offer my kiss
so that he may live.

Then away I fly
to my lady's side.

[whooshes]

That's not how the story goes.

Rewrite.

[Flynn and Gwen laugh]

[Gwen]
I'm very critical, so--

You?
...it's a big compliment.

You think I'm critical?
No, no, no, not at all.

Not at all?
No, nope.

Not a bit?
Nope.

It's a good thing.
I think so too.

I'm specific.
And you know what?

I know what I like.
Oh. Oh, um...

you've got soap on your nose.
I know. I must.

Hold on one second.

You've actually got it
here as well.

And, um...

Thanks.

It's actually
quite a good look.

What do you think?
I like it.

I think it's quite good.
Yeah, I like it.

Looks good on you.
I particularly like
my apron, actually.

You look really good
in my apron.

Thank you.

I think we found her
someone special, Daddy.

Just in time
for Valentine's Day.

Mm. If it's not strawberry,
what's the point?

Here. Tell me
that's not the best.

Hm. Whilst yummy,
my preference remains
the chocolate cherry berry.

Give me.

Mm, you're both wrong.

Double bubble espresso
extra dark is
the only way to go.

Although a tea man myself,
I must admit that's
dangerously good.

[laughing]

No.
I'm sure you were
traumatized by that.

Sorry about that.
Oh.

Allow me, my ladies.

Hey, hey, hey!

Oh.
[laughs]

Isn't that your only coat?

[laughing]
[groans]

I can't believe you spent
all your money on ice cream
and the penny arcade.

A gentleman
should not accept--

All right, just spare me
the Sir Walter Raleigh
routine.

Okay. Now it will be
your money.

No, seriously, you can't
keep wearing the same suit

day after day, hoping
the airline finds your bags.

This is far too generous.

Just consider the extra
a bonus

for your first week
of excellent services.

You know, I think I like
the jeans better.

Turn around again.

Yeah, definitely the jeans.

Mom, Mom, there's so many
cute clothes to choose from.

I can see that.
That's only half the ones
I want to show you.

Come on, help me pick.

Something pretty
caught her fancy?

More like something pretty to
catch some lucky boy's fancy.

Oh, I was just like
your daughter at that age.
Boys and clothes.

[Both]
We're not--

I'll be right back.

Mother, must you be
so annoying?

Ugh. You're really
trying my patience.

I shant tolerate
such tardiness.
[heart pounds]

Especially when I'm
going to be a royal majesty.

If you insist on throwing
away your future--

I'm not throwing
away my future.

I'm surrendering to it.

Thank you, thank you.

And the ring.
♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪

And the ring.
♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪

♪ What would you do
with a drunken sailor ♪
And the ring.

♪ Early in the morning
And the ring.

Why, if it isn't
the lovely Miss Hillary.

Hah. Fancy
bumping into you.

And here of all places.

What a lovely surprise.
I'm so thrilled.

Cash or charge?
Cripes.

Dearest Mistress Zoe,
I address this to you

and not to your dear mum

as it is you
I primarily deceived.

As you will unfortunately
soon discover,

I was not whom or what we
for a time imagined me to be.

All I will say
in my defense

is that I had amnesia,

and was truly
without my memory
when you came upon me.

The result of severe
punishment served
by a pair of brutes

for demonstrating
what has always been
my true selfish character.

And thus, justly deserved.

I never meant
to take advantage
of you or Lady Gwen,

and hope that you can someday
find it in your hearts

to believe this
and forgive me.

Good morning. Flynn?

Flynn?

Good morning.
No breakfast?

Ouch.

Somebody didn't sleep
last night. Bad dreams?

I know you prefer tea,

but what you need

is a good, strong cup
of coffee.

And my egg scramble
to go with it.

And I do mean egg scramble
and not scrambled eggs.
Big difference.

Lady Gwendolyn,
there's something that
I must tell you.

I used to make this
for Zoe all the time.

She loves the little veggies
I put in. But after 12 hours
on my feet

in a hot kitchen--
Tie my bow, will you, Flynn?

Gotta look my best
for the party.

Into the breach,
heart wide open?

No, just giving Sam a card.
That he's gonna love.

I know it.
But I gotta make it right now.

Egg scramble? No way, Mom. This
is gonna be the best day ever.

What was it you wanted
to say to me?

Nothing, my lady.
Nothing.

[bell rings]

Okay, put your cards
in the cubbies.

No passing them out now.
We'll get to them after lunch.

Ooh.

[bell rings]
Okay.

Go. Go get your valentines.

[Kate]
Oh, Sam? I bought these
just for you.

Zoe?

Hi, Zoe.

Mistress, what's the matter?

Zoe! Zoe!

Mistress?

You asked me, commanded me
to let you be, but I cannot.

If you don't let me
try and help...

[door closes]

Why can't you
just leave me alone?

Because I am your friend.
Some friend.

Look what all your stupid talk

about taking a chance
on love got me.

Go on, look.

Oh, Zoe, I'm so deeply sorry

that my interference
brought you pain.

You know I would gladly
suffer an eternity to undo
the hurt I've caused you.

But you must know this.

You are a smart
and beautiful young lady.

And any lad who does not
recognize this
and cherish you,

he's both blind and a fool.

To treat the expression
of your gentle heart
in such a manner

reflects only
on his character.

And I, well, I would defend
your honor with my life.

Come here.
Come here.
Come here.

Come here.

Not our best day ever, huh?

It's enough
to break one's heart.

I know just how
to fix that.

Oh, Mistress Zoe,
look what I found.

"To Zoe.

"There was once a girl I knew
who wished the moon was blue.

"I needed her help.
I was covered in kelp.

"It was quite the hullabaloo.

"Happy Valentine's Day,
from Flynn."

And one for my lady.

"To Gwen.

"You need to laugh every day.

"Check."
[laughs]

"You need
to take time for you.

"Check. You need to speak
French more often. Check."

[laughs]

"Won't you be
my valentine?"

A place for a check.

[chuckles]

Okay.

Good night.

You loathsome coward you.

Do you always
talk to yourself?

I suppose I do, yes.

Bit of a habit.

Flynn, it's clean.

Even Mrs. Polansky
would approve.

Would you give it a rest?

I wanted to tell you this
earlier, but Zoe was so upset.

And I kind of needed the time

to think about what you--
What you did and said to her.

It is I who must talk
to you about--

Please, please, just listen.

It's been, um, a long time

since I've had someone
in my life I could
really count on.

Someone who loves Zoe
as much as I do.

And hearing you pledge
your strength and commitment

to my child...

The respect you have for her.

It's more than I could want
in any father.

From any man.

I know, um, we've just met,

and I know this is
very inappropriate,

and forward.

But...

I feel something
between us.

Something good
and special.

That I know you feel too.

I-- I cannot find the words.

The words that will allow me
to spend the rest
of my life here.

Exactly as it is right now.

Who says you can't?

Fate.

Fate is what we make it.

[knocking]

Gwen? Gwen, it's Stanley.

Stanley? What's going on?

So. This is where
we find you.

Flynn, do you know
these people?

There is no Flynn.

This is our son Percival.

The Marquis of Summerland.
I so wanted--

I tried to tell you.
There's no need
for histrionics.

I'm not hysterical.

Oh, of course you are.
And to what end?

You know your place.
What's expected of you.

And that is that.
Percy.

We're finished here.

Thanks for trying.

I mean, tonight?

You pick tonight
of all nights
to abandon me?

I don't know
what to do, Wilkins.

You can't just
leave me like this.

I must, dear boy.
The life awaits.

Are you aware

that if you drop a frog
into boiling water,

it will hop right out?

None the worse for wear.

However, if you drop
the very same frog

into cool water and then
gradually increase
the temperature,

it will not perceive
the danger it is in
until it's too late,

and the poor fool
will boil to death.

Now,

I will set about
seeing forthwith

that I do not meet
such a fate.

And I heartily suggest
that you do the same.

I'll miss you, Wilkins.

Naturally, you will
write weekly.

As you taught me.

In longhand, cursive,
and to the point.

♪ I

♪ Will wait

♪ For you

♪ I

♪ Will wait

♪ For you

♪ Snowflakes in the trees

♪ The last few colors
of the leaves ♪

♪ Make me want to stay

Right. I just need
a couple of hours.

I'll call when I'm
on my way in, Alice.

[rings]

Ruthie?
I'm done.

All talked out. Okay.
Love you. Goodbye.

I made oatmeal.
Mom, I told you
I'm not hungry.

I made oatmeal.

I've been thinking a lot.

I spoke with Mrs. Beeker.
She's going to sit with you
here today.

Sure, whatever. It's just that
I get it now.

He wasn't a prince. Well,
he was, sort of,

but not that prince.
Uh-huh.

Uncle Stanley said
Flynn was mugged.

That he must've had amnesia.

But you saw his face
when they got him.

He was a frog. Fraud.
A fraud.

But he knew who he really was.
He knew he was busted.

That's what I saw
on his face. Forget him.

But Flynn was part
of our family.

Flynn was only make-believe.

Nothing about him was real.

Then why did he
stay here so long?

Why did he care so much
about us?

Haven't you even wondered?

Hey, sweetie, I'm just gonna--
I'm gonna lay down,

and I'm gonna rest
my eyes, okay?

I'm sorry, Mommy.

I'm sorry too, sweetie.

♪ Why they mean
so little now ♪

♪ I do not understand

♪ How or why

♪ But I

♪ Will wait

♪ For you

♪ I

♪ Will wait

♪ For you

[dings]

Oh, Zoe, I'm so sorry
your Mr. Flynn

turned out to be
a lousy rat.

I thought
he was a amphibian.

Oh, whatever he was,
don't worry.

If he so much as dares to show
his face around here,

lights out, Casanova.

Zoe, I didn't
rip up your card.

It was Kate.

She even admitted it.

Would you wait?
I'm trying to explain.

I brought you your valentine.

You're kidding me, right?
I've been standing
around here all morning.

Sam, this really isn't
the time, okay?

I just don't want to hear--

Zoe.

You came back.
You came back.

Can you ever
forgive me, child?

Oh, how I pray
that you do.

It's not me
you have to worry about.

She's home, then?
With a splitting headache

and the mood
to go with it.

Well then, to her side
I must go.

That's not going to be
very easy.

Mrs. B.'s staked out
in the lobby playing watchman.

Uncle Stanley's already
been by twice this morning.

So, even if you
could get in--

Not could. Must.

Or give my life
in the trying.

I could help you.

That is, if you're
willing to let me in

if you're brave enough
to try.

Brave how?

Is there a problem?

Uh...

Here. This should help.

[grunting]

How much did you eat
for breakfast today?

[grunting continues]

There we go.
[stammering]

Oh, yep.
Yes.

Into the breach,
heart wide open.

For luck.

Luck.

Luck. Yeah. Yes.

So badly needed.

Thank you.

[heart pounds]

[pounding continues]

[Wilkins] Steady, sir.
Bit close for my comfort,
given your vertigo.

All right. Okay.
Here we go.

Okay.

Whoa.

No. Fear not.
[pounding continues]

Your lady awaits.

Come on, Percy.

Zounds.

[gasps]

You. What are you doing
in my apartment?

Don't make me
get my purse.

[knocking]

Zoe, I'm trying
to get some rest, sweetie.

The door is open.
Just let yourself in.

Gwendolyn?

I'll call the police.

Let them come.

I fear no justice
for the wrongs I've done

during our brief time
and budding courtship.

Our what?
Our courtship?

How full of yourself
are you?

Too full,
and for far too long.

I've spent
my entire adult life
shirking responsibility.

Caring only for my own comfort
and my ease.

And never, until now,
felt regret.

Well, you can just regret
yourself right out of here.

Verily, I'll away,
but not before you hear
what I carry in my heart.

Okay, will you stop
with the Shakespeare already?

Just spit it out, Percy.
Percy is no more.

And Flynn, he has fallen
madly, wildly, and deeply
in love with you.

Really? Does
your fiancée know?

I have no fiancée.
Oh, so she wised up too.
Good for her.

Indeed. And smart enough
to know that for any marriage
to truly blossom,

it must take root
in true love.

True love. Like
in fairytale land,

where people fall
topsy-turvy in love

with peppermint tomorrows.

From what Zoe told me,

you are the very woman

who went to collect a tip

only to find a note reading,

"The best tip I can give
you is to marry me."

Love comes no sweeter.

Matthew was a real prince.
You're--

An imposter?
Guilty as charged.

But can you honestly tell me,
after all that's happened,

all that's been said,
that you're not pretending?

That maybe, just maybe I'm
the man, not the prince,

not the king that you've
been dreaming of.

A man with his heart
wide open.

Who is committed
and determined to be
worthy of a love

that only comes along
once in a blue moon.

To be worthy of you.

Forever.

Would you kiss her already?

[Zoe, narrating]
And so it came to pass

that city by the bay
fell in love,

with her own little lily pad.

Named for
my baby sister Lily.

While the princess
who made it all happen,

moi, is doing okay too.

But Sam my guys is--
Well, you know how boys are.

I can't be sure if he's
going to be a prince

or just a charming toad,
giving flavor to my life.

Want some gum?

Strawberry?

Sweet.

And they all lived
happily ever after.

Well, mostly
happily ever after...

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA