All language subtitles for Which.Brings.Me.To.You.2023

You want one of these?

Oh! Enjoy.

- Hey.
- Hey, could I get
a cranberry juice with ice?

And vodka.

- Just a splash.
- Sure.

Actually, no.
No, um, no cranberry juice.

Vodka, rocks.

- Final answer. Thanks.
- You got it.

Hey, way to show up late.

Yeah. It's my specialty.

I'm Will.

Jane.

So, are you here
for Sarah, or...

- Fuck. Max? The groom.
- His name is Matt.

- Matt.
- You know, I may have
missed the ceremony,

- but at least I know the name of
the bride and the groom.
- Fair.

So how do you guys
know each other?

We used to
play in a band.

- Oh, a band!
- Yeah.

- Oh. So you're...
- Unfit for society?

Well, I was gonna say
"musical," actually.

Oh, no. That's 'cause
you didn't hear us yet.

- What do you play?

Um, I played drums.

- Drums.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Wait,
please tell me you're not

one of those drummers who sings.

- You are.
- I am. I am. Yeah.

- How about you?
- Oh, no. I don't play anything.

No, I mean, why--
why are you here?

Oh. Uh, well,
I went to school with Sarah,

but I haven't seen her
since I left the city.

Uh... is it dead?

That looks dead.
Looks like a dead cat.

Okay, well,
I'm not an expert on symbolism,

but when a cat drops dead
at your wedding,

- that cannot be a good omen.
- No...

You know, when I first saw you,

I thought that we should have
sex in the coat closet.

Yeah?

But I have had a few, so.

Clearly I'm not
thinking that clearly.

Yeah, well, you know, uh...

clear thinking is--
is really overrated.

Yeah, it wouldn't end well.

Think at the beginning.

And we are standing over
a dead cat right now,

so that can't be a good sign.

- Yeah...

Oh, fuck, this fucking dress.

Here, turn around.

- What is this thing, Fort Knox?
- Okay, just turn it--

Okay, you know what? Forget it.

Okay.

Shit. Where are we?

- What?

I don't think
this is a good idea.

- What's your point?
- Don't get me wrong,

I really want to,
and I'm so fuckin' into you,

but I... am kind of
in a weird place.

Yeah, you're in a beach club
coat closet.

- You think that, like, we could
just talk for a minute?
- Talk?

Yeah. Just talk.

Could you get the hell
out of my way, please?

What's going
on back there?

Well... uh,
we were about to fuck,

but I guess he--
he had a change of heart.

That's-- that's not
what happened.

Okay.

Hey! Can you just give me
a chance to explain?

- You really don't have to.
- No, it's-- it's--

- it's complicated.
- No, I bet it's real
fuckin' simple.

- No, come on. Don't leave.
- Well...

I mean, I just told
everyone within earshot

we were about to have
sex on their coats,

so no, there's no way
I'm going back in there.

You did do that.
But also, you've been
doing a little drinking,

so-- so maybe
you shouldn't drive.

- Where you going?
- For a walk.

Mmm...

Hey, let me buy you a coffee.

I'm fine.

We're miles from anywhere.

I don't want you to get
eaten up by coyotes.

Are you sure you wanna walk?

You sure you don't want
to sit up front?

No. I feel like I'm gonna
be sick all of a sudden.

Can we just, like,
sit here for a second?

Of course, yeah.

You left your gift.

So, um, I'm a commercial
photographer...

- Mmm.
- ...which-- which mostly means
I take pictures of, like,

- espresso machines and current--
- Oh, God. Can we not do that?

Can-- can we not do what?

Talk about our lives?

Yeah. We don't have to talk.

We'll just sit in a, uh--

in a parked car
in-- in complete silence.

Sounds good.

Silencio.

- Silence. I could be quiet.
- All right, all right. Let's--

- I don't have to talk.
- Let's just get this
over with. Um...

I am a freelance writer,
and at the moment,

I am researching an article
for Vanity Fair

about a murder in the Hamptons,
which is why I'm in Sag Harbor.

I feel like Vanity Fair
publishes an article about

- a murder in the Hamptons,
like, once a month.
- Yeah, well,

apparently the main thing
rich people like to do

for fun in the Hamptons
is murder each other.

- Um, let's see.

Um... well, I'm an only child
from a strict Catholic family,

which explains my penchant for
sleeping with guys at weddings.

- So this is a regular thing?
- And I have three little
boys who I love very much.

Wait, what?

- I'm fucking with you.
- Oh.

Except for the writer part
and the Catholic part.

Look at this. We're-- we're
having a back-and-forth.

- See, it wasn't so hard.
- Listen,

I would keep asking you
questions about yourself,

but honestly, I think
the only thing we have in common

- is that we just shared
a humiliating sexual experience.
- That's nothing.

Do you wanna know
the most humiliating
sexual experience of my life?

- I don't.
- It might make you feel better.

Mmm, pretty sure it won't.

- It was with this girl
Jodi Dunn back in high school.
- I-- I don't care.

She was the first person
to ever go down on me.

You're just gonna steamroll
right on through, aren't you?

And I came in my own eye.

Wait, what?

I ejaculated
into my own eyeball.

Okay, go on.

One night,
Jodi and I snuck off
into the woods.

I had no idea what I was doing.

Oh, oh, whoa. Wait, wait.

Jodi, slow down.

Slow down--

In porn circles,
that maneuver is known

- as "the pirate's eye."
- Oh, my God!

Jodi helped me
discover my love of photography.

- So pretty.

She lived five miles away,

but it felt
like a whole other world.

When my parents would fight,

it would be
really passive aggressive.

But her parents,
they would just... go at it.

Um, do you wanna
drive around a little bit?

Uh, I'm used to it.

- Sure?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Look at me.

- Well, so what happened to her?
- Thought you weren't interested.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you embarrassed to tell me?

I literally just told you
a story about me cumming
in my own eye.

So, what, did you cum in hers?
Did you blind the poor girl?

It's really not that far away.

I know.

I'm glad you're going.

I mean,
if you stayed here with me,

you'd probably just end up
working at the mall forever.

No, it's not like that. Hey.

It's not like
we're breaking up, okay?

I'm-- I'm gonna come
visit you at Christmas, okay?

- You're gonna forget about me.
- No!

No way.

You forgot about her,
didn't you?

No. That's not it.

After my last
final fall semester,

I got in the car and I drove
down there to surprise her,

and it did not go well.

Wow, that is an impressive way
to break up with someone.

I was pretty shattered.

Yeah, we've all been there.

I mean,
that was our special place.

Wait, your special place was

in the front seat of a car
in her driveway?

Come on.

Wait, I have a question.

- Were you faithful to her?
- Yeah!

Yeah...

Well, it's not like
I was gonna propose to her.

So, what, you just wanted a girl
you could have sex with

- while you went home
on vacation?
- Of course I did. I was 18.

So was she.

This place
better have decent pie.

Are you gonna eat that?

No, no, no. It's all yours.

Man, I haven't thought
about Jodi in so long.

It's like I was
a different person.

You never forget your first
heartbreak, that's for sure.

Mm-hmm.

- What was yours?
- No.

No, we don't need to
get into all that, trust me.

You know what?
I want my pie back.

- What?
- Yeah. Just feeling hungry,

and I think I want some pie.

Are you reneging
on your pie offer?

I'll make you a trade, okay?

I'll give you some of this pie

if you tell me
your first heartbreak.

Can I
get you another slice?

No. No, I think we're all right.

- He drove a red '68 Mustang.
- Mmm.

- Okay, do you want me
to continue, or are you--
- Do you want that pie?

I can't get it.

Nah, nah.

That's not right,
that's not right.

All right, all you gotta do
is just hit the gas

- and pop the clutch, all right?
- Okay.

Don't be scared.

Wait, she thinks I'm with him
because I have low self-esteem?

Ha! Please. I don't think so.

How would Sister Rose even know?
She's a nun.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

So what's this
guy's deal, anyway?

Where does he go to school?

I'm not sure.

Okay, let's try
an easier question.

What's his name?

- Michael.
- What's his last name?

Hanrahan.

Why?

Hanrahan.

Um...
where do you live?

I just--

I just think maybe I should
meet your family sometime.

Wow.
That's a cute outfit.

- So was he your first?
- Yeah.

He also introduced me
to graffiti and petty theft.

Whoa, petty theft.
What a badass.

Yeah.

It was partly
a great teenage romance

and partly
a series of misdemeanors.

So, what was he hiding?

One day he was supposed to
pick me up from school,

but he didn't show.

So I went over to his house,

and I asked his mom
if he was home.

He's-- he's...

How long was he sick?

I don't really ever
remember him not being sick, so.

Hey, once I'm, um--
once I'm done eating
dinner with my mom,

I'll come pick you up, okay?

Wait.

You really want to?

Yeah.

Oh, okay. I just...

I mean, don't you
think that we should...

like, talk or something?

What do you wanna talk about?

The whole time we were together,
your dad was dying

and you didn't tell me about it.

Michael, I'm so sorry.
I can't even imagine

- what you're going through
right now.
- It's-- it's fine.

I just--
Seriously, it's fine. I'm fine.

I'll see you around, Jane.

Michael.

So he broke up with you.

I'm not sure we were
ever actually together.

Well, maybe he just
wanted to keep you separate

from all the shit
that was going on in his life.

No, maybe he
just wanted to get laid.

I mean, having sex with you

was probably the best thing
in his life.

It's probably pretty great.

It is pretty great.

I'm sure it is.

It's too bad you blew
your only chance to
experience it for yourself.

And that's definitely my loss.

Okay, well, I'm stuffed.

- And I'm sober.
And I'm very tired.
- Wait.

Let's get out of here.

I got an idea.

Well-- Okay. Just...

This one's for you,
Michael Hanrahan!

And for you, Jodi Dunn!

Holy shit. We're going here.

"Private property.
Trespassers will be prosecuted

- to the full extent of the law."
- Huh.

That was easy. Come on.

Graceful.

- We're criminals!

- This place is cool.
- Oh!

Ey! Step right up.
Step right up,

let's see if you're tall enough
to ride this ride.

Ah, young lady, you're gonna
need to take your shoes off.

- Okay.
- All right, let's see.

- Aw, man.

- Aw, rats!
Better luck next time.
- Well, guess what?

I didn't wanna ride
The Rockin' Tug anyway, so.

Ooh. "Rockin' Tug"?

That doesn't seem appropriate
for a kids' ride.

Let's go over here.

Come on.

Ooh.

- This is amazing.
- It is.

- This is also how
we get arrested.
- Okay,

this place is clearly
out of commission.

Nobody's coming for us,
I promise.

- You promise?
- Yeah.

- Oh.
- Oh! Hi!

- Hey.
- Hi, sir, officer.

Are you two aware
that you're on private property?

Uh, yeah. We are.

Uh, we actually lost our car,

and-- and we were looking
everywhere for it,

and then we thought, "We gotta
get to the highest vantage point

- to-- to find it," and-- and--
- Yeah, I dared him
to come up here.

- I should get the cops out here.
- Oh, great.

- Have 'em arrest you
for trespassing.
- Great.

Okay, we'll be right down.
Come on.

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

For the ride, Carl.
Appreciate it.

You're a legend.

Okay, you got any more
breaking and entering plan,

or are we just gonna
go rob a liquor store?

- What do you think?
- No. I have seen
the error of my ways.

Going straight from here on out.

Come on, tell me more
about your checkered past.
I just-- I wanna hear it all.

I don't think either one of us
has enough time for that.

I don't have anywhere to be.
I'll start.

Is this how you seduce women?

I haven't before,
but is it working?

No, for real.
My memory is overcrowded.

I think it
could use some unloading.

- Yeah. I know what you mean.
- Fuck it.

Let's just tell
each other everything. You know?

Everybody we ever
loved or tried to love.

No. That-- that sounds like
a potentially disastrous idea.

I mean, what do we have to lose?
You're never gonna
see me after tonight.

Yeah, I-- I guess
you're right about that.

All right,
so I'm happy to tell you

a few more of
my romantic humiliations.

Well, I promise not to laugh.

I already know
you well enough to know

- that's completely bullshit.
- I promise not to laugh much.

Okay, then.

So, my senior
year of college, I met a girl.

A woman, actually.

Hey!

- Are you--
- Do you know where
the train station is?

- Sorry?
- The train?

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Uh... yeah...
it's about ten minutes that way.

You-- Sorr--
You, uh-- you don't happen to--

You don't go here, do you?

No, I was just
visiting my cousin.

- What's your name?
- Uh, Will.

- Will.
- Hi.

- Hi. I'm Eve.
- Hi.

Will... will you walk
me to the train station?

Okay. Oh, I-- I--
I'd really love to.

I, uh-- I actually
have class right now,

- but...
- Ohh! No, you don't.

- Come on.
- Wha-- Okay.

- I'm cumming.
- Oh, I'm cumming.

- I'm cumming, I'm cumming.
- Me too. Okay.

Oh, my God.

- That-- that was...
- You're welcome.

Oh, my God.

Oh, come on!

Did that actually happen,
or did you dream it?

I know.

- She's really hot.
- I know!

I didn't know you
were a photographer.

Well...

...we didn't really, uh--

we didn't really
do too much talking.

No, I'm not a photographer.

I just--
I just take some pictures.

I'm not really sure
what I wanna be yet.

I think
it's really clear what you are.

Get dressed. And pack a bag.

- We gotta go.
- Wait, what?
Where are we going?

You showed me your room,
and now I'm gonna show you mine.

- Hi!
- Welcome home!

This is Justine.
She's my roommate.

- Hi.
- This is Will.

I just found him
at Courtney's school.

Oh, higher education.
Welcome to lower education.

- I've heard that you don't come
empty-handed to a party.

Actually,
my mom told me that, so.

Oh, your mother
is a good woman, Will.

- Never forget that.
- Okay, leave room for God.

- I have to change. Sorry.
- Here you go.

Jesus, Eve.

Little past
your friend's bedtime.

This is Will.
He's visiting for the weekend.

So what do you do, Will?

Feel free to make something up.

Nobody at this party knows what
they came to New York to do.

What did you come
to New York to do, Noah?

I can't remember why
I came to New York

except to sleep with you, Eve.

Why are you here, kid?

To sleep with Eve.

Well played, young man.

- Okay. All right, okay.
- What?

- Take it easy.
I'm not going anywhere.
- Sorry.

Whoo, I don't think
I'm gonna make that last
train back tonight.

What drugs did you take, exactly?

Justine gave me
those blue pills,

and then some purple pills.

She gave you
blue and purple pills?

- Blue and purple.
- Wait, really?

- Wait, what?
- Well, how many did you take?

I don't know, like, three?
Or four?

- Three or four?
- Yeah?

- We have to call an ambulance!
- We have to call an ambulance?

- What is the number?
- For an amb-- 911?

What--

Hello,
is this the ambulance?

I have an emergency!

You're-- you--
you are so full of shit.

- I like this chick.
- Yeah, I did too.

I pretty much lived
with her in New York,

and then I'd just take the train
back whenever I had a test.

So you dropped out of school
without actually having to
drop out of school.

I put in a bare minimum
amount of effort.

Hmm.

Kinda sensing a pattern here.

Yeah.

She wants to fuck you.

What? No, she doesn't.

If you went to talk to her,
you could take her home in,

like, three minutes.

Do you want me to take her home?

I just want you to know
you could if you wanted to.

What if I don't want to?

Then you're gonna
come home with me.

- Come on.
- Where are we going?

- It's an Irish goodbye.
- What's an Irish goodbye?

Suddenly, you're just...
not there.

Okay, so you passed the test.

I mean,
now when I think about it...

there were a lot of tests.

I guess it's gonna be a month

before I can
come visit you again.

Why do you have to
go back to school?

'Cause I have to graduate.

You do? Why?

I don't know, but...

Imagine. My parents
would freak out if I--

Oh, my God.

Who cares
what your parents think?

Besides, I'll miss you.

Hey. Can I ask you something?

What?

Why do you wanna be with me?

You're irresistible.

No, come on.
I'm ser-- I'm serious.

- Why-- Can't--

Can you tell me, like, why--

why do you wanna be with me?

Because every other guy
I've ever been with
has been really judgmental,

and they walk through the world
with their arms crossed.

You always have your arms open,
and it's beautiful.

Who wouldn't
fall in love with that?

You love me?

Yeah.

The Irish goodbye.

You ever see her again?

I called her a few times,
but she never picked up.

I don't blame her, though.

She should've known better,

getting involved
with a college guy.

I bet she didn't tell anyone
she loved them for a while
after that.

You were so young! Okay?

You didn't know
any other way to leave.

I just wish I would've
ended things more gracefully.

Yeah, but she was--
she was sick of dating these

broken guys
who screwed her over,

so she found a wide-eyed boy
she thought wouldn't hurt her.

But you get hurt the most
by people you think
couldn't possibly hurt you.

Mmm.

Where'd you learn that?

Well, that is
another story entirely.

- Come in.

Hi. Professor Fielding?

Please don't
call me "Professor."

That makes me feel
like I'm supposed to

actually profess something.

- I'm Wallace.
- Yeah, I know. Hi.

I'm Jane.

Nice to meet you, Jane.

You know what? I should--

I should actually get back.

You-- What's wrong?

Nothing. I just--

I just have a deadline,

and I wanna get an early
start tomorrow, so.

- Really nice afternoon.
- Yeah.

I mean it.

It really was.

I'm sad that you have to go.

Yeah, me too.

Would you like
to have my number?

Yes, I would.

I would definitely like
to have your number.

- Just...
- Here.

...call me anytime, okay?

If you're in the mood for pie
or trespassing,

or you just wanna hear some more

embarrassing stories
about my love life,

you know I got
an endless supply.

Well, you never know.

I might
just take you up on that.

Sounds good.

Oh, my God, you're the guy
from the coat closet.

Oh, God...

That was awesome.

Wait, what? Really?

I've been to
so many weddings this year,

they're all starting
to blend together.

But... I'm definitely not
gonna forget this one.

Hey, I'm happy to be of service.

You deserve a drink.

I do.

Can I buy you a drink?

It's an open bar.

Right.

Can I buy you a free drink?

Will you excuse me?

Sure...

Hello?

Hi.

You know, I was actually just
making you a Spotify playlist

like an eighth grader
with a crush.

That is adorable.

Yeah. It was pretty
fucking cute.

So, when I was in college,
I met a guy named Elton.

It was my senior year,
and I had just about

given up hope of meeting
anyone interesting.

Hey, man.

- Dre! Hey.
- What's up?

How you doing, man?
We good?

Yeah, what you need?

I don't know. Last night--

One second.

Hi.

Hi.

You're out
on a school night, huh?

Yeah, ev-- everyone
goes out on Thursdays, so.

Yeah. Seems that way.

So, do you go to school here?

For now, yes.

Can I buy you a drink?

Okay.

Cool. Andre, may I please
get the usual?

- And...
- Oh, um...

um, vodka cranberry, please.

You got an ID?

Mm-hmm, yeah! No, I--
I definitely have it.

- I saw it earlier. She has it.
- Somewhere.

- I just had it, I swear.
- Oh! God, I've got it.

I've...

I was holding onto it
this whole time.

Wow.

Isn't she perfect?

Ooh, Elton.

Yeah. I fell
for him pretty hard.

...which is
the inspiration that leads
Hardy to write this novel.

So, who can remind me what
we were discussing on Wednesday?

We were focused on the nature
of Hardy's attitude toward
Tess's virginity.

How did this book challenge
sexual morals of Victorianism?

Hardy had an attitude that was
counterpoint to the role that

- women were expected to play--

Hi, yes. Sorry, I'm--
So sorry I'm late,

but I just-- I had one question.

Um, I'm wondering how this
relates to Kierkegaard's
existentialism?

Specifically his belief that
God's silence is actually God.

Kierkegaard. Sorry, who are you?
Are you even in this class?

Uh, well, not according to
Kierkegaard.

Anyway! If you'll excuse me,
Professor--

if you really are one--

I require this young woman for

an experiment
in transcendentalism.

Yes. The rest of you...
farewell.

And good luck!
This class is boring.

So sorry.

Did you see his face?

- Oh, my God. That made my day.

Huh.

Huh... everybody's spying on us.

Oh, yeah? Hey, why is that?

Well, clearly they wanna know
the secret to everlasting love.

- Wha--

Yeah, um, right there.

That guy. See him?
He's taking photos of us

to send back to his
contacts in Russia.

- Yeah.

What is the Russian government

gonna do with everlasting love?

Start a disinformation
campaign about it?

I'm dead serious, Jane.

And none of this
set off any alarm bells?

Well, historically,
I am tone deaf when
it comes to alarm bells.

Jane!

No-- Look up.

- Oh, my God. Elton!
- Hey!

What are you doing up there?

I wanted to proclaim my love
for you from the--

the highest thing on campus!

Okay, are you sure you're not
the highest thing on campus?

- Get down!
- I'm not currently!

- Look, Ma, no meds!
- Elton, please
get down from there!

- You're gonna get in trouble.
- Hey!

- Oh, trouble?
- What's
going on here?

- Oh, God.
- You're the trouble I'm in!

You're the trouble
I'll never get out of!

Come on, kid,
get off the roof.

Is he your boyfriend?
Is he-- is he drunk?

No, no, no, no, no! Don't!
Don't talk to him, Jane.

Listen, he's just trying to
help you, all right? Just...

I don't need any help!

Elton, please, just--

Elton...

Supposed to be romantic.

Oh, my God.

So you never
saw him again?

You missed the memo
about Casual Fridays.

You must be so embarrassed.

Hey.

Look, before we get
into anything,

I want to apologize for, um...

my little rooftop stunt.

No, you don't need to apologize.

Well...

as you can see, my mother
got a little carried away.

Decided I needed a vacation.

Well, I'm glad you get a break.

You know, in a couple of weeks,

if I play my cards right,

I could probably
get out of here.

I mean, you shouldn't--

you shouldn't rush it, right?

We can spend the summer
in Paris.

Let's just--

let's just take it
one step at a time, okay?

Oh...

Wa-- was that pity?

What? No.
No, that wasn't pity. I--

Why did-- why'd you come here?

To see you.
I wanna help you get better.

- Get better. Uh, uh--
- Yeah.

At what, exactly?
Better-- better at what?

- Well, I-- I can help
take care of you.
- Jesus. I--

- I can take
care of myself.

No, please,
Elton-- Elton, I'm sorry.

That-- that's not--
that's not what I meant.

- Um--
- Okay? I'm sorry. Elton...

I'm sorry, Jane.

That was rude of me.

You know, why--
why don't we, um--

why don't we get
back to planning Paris?

God, it's the City of Lights.

It also has a weird amount
of snail preparation.

We should stay in...

God, I hated leaving him
like that. It just...

I was so young.
I didn't know what to do.

- Yeah, that must have
been so hard.
- Yeah.

I guess I felt like
if I didn't get out then,

I'd just wash away with him.

Hey, where are you exactly?

A beach.

It's not too far, I don't think.

If I drop you a pin,
could you come pick me up?

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

You know, my mom was depressed
for most of my childhood.

She practically stayed in bed
for an entire year.

And my dad would always try
to pretend that it was normal,

but we were just...
consumed by her sadness.

I just, like,
would try to avoid going home
as much as I could.

And then so did my dad.

Did they separate?

Yeah.

Yeah, mine too.

- I was three when it happened.
- Mmm.

It's actually my first memory.

I-- I remember, I was standing
at the top of the staircase,

and I was looking down
the stairs at all of my dad's
suitcases at the front door.

Yeah.

- That's messed up.
- Yeah.

I mean, between the two of us...

Ugh. You never
get over that shit.

You know what?

- What?
- I'm starving.

Are you? Are you always hungry?

- I'm always hungry.
- You're always hungry.

- Let's go.
- There's nothing like
childhood trauma to just

- get the appetite going.

This is from the playlist
I made you.

I like it.

Oh, wait. Pull over.
Please, let's pull up here.

Oh, shit. It's closed.

Come on. Since when
do you care what signs say?

Watch me smooth-talk
our way into this place.

Well, this looks
like a lively bunch.

Oh, yeah. Real rager.

I don't do buffets.

- What?
- I'm really bad at buffets.

I end up just piling the ribs
on top of the sushi.

- It's a whole mess.
- How can you be bad at buffets?

What does that even mean?

Look, the joy of a buffet
is you just get another plate.

- You can do that?
- Yeah, there are no rules.

- You can get two plates?
- Hey there!

Who are you?

Are you related to us?

Do I have children
I don't know about?

Please! Look at
the bone structure on these two.

They're gorgeous.

Who the hell are you two?

- Uh... we are...
- We are...

- a...
- a couple of party crashers.

- Crashers?
- Yeah.

- Oh, I love it.

It's a party now, huh, Olivia?

Well, if you're gonna crash
our anniversary party,

- you handsome boy...
- Who, me?

Yes, you.
You better dance with me.

Okay, but you gotta teach me,
'cause I got two left feet.

- Have fun.
- Right this way, sir.

This guy gonna keep his hands
to himself out there?

Well, if recent history
is any guide,

- you have nothing
to worry about.

That your wife?

No.

We just met, actually.

- No!
- Yeah.

- Forty goddamn years.
- Wow!

I deserve a medal.
Hell, I deserve a trophy!

She deserves one too.

When I coached Little League,

all the kids got trophies
just for not giving up.

So is that what you're here
celebrating tonight?

Not giving up?

Not givin' up
is what it's all about.

So do you have
any marriage advice?

Ah... separate bathrooms.

Hmm. That's your big tip?

Well, it helps.

- A little.

- Thank you.

- Hey, thank you very much.

All right.
So, should we go get them?

- Thank you so much.
- That was so nice.

- You mind if I cut in?

Are you kidding me?
Of course I mind!

But I'll live.

- I'll live.
- Thank you.

- May I have this dance?
- You may.

- I thought I was gonna lose you
to Eddie for the night.

"Party crasher!"

Did not sound like him.

Doesn't sound anything
like him, no.

So... now what?

Do you have a hotel room?

- I have a motel room.
- Hmm.

It's a really nice motel.

- They got a pool.
- Mmm.

There's a bunch
of dead leaves in it.

And they have a vending machine
that sells combs.

- Ooh!
- If you need a comb.

Well, I have been looking
for a good comb, so.

Look...
before we go any further--

- Who said that
we're going any further?
- Nobody.

What?

Do you have a girlfriend, Will?

And let me be clear.
By "girlfriend," I mean

"Do you have any significant
relationships in your life

that might come up
at a later time?"

I've had too many girlfriends
over the past couple years.

But... really, they were all
just versions of the same thing.

I hear you're the photographer.

Yeah. My condolences.

Is that a friend of yours?

Her? Oh, no. She's my dentist.
No, I'm just kidding.

No, I don't know
any of these people.

They're just moments
that caught my eye,

and then I took pictures of 'em
and threw 'em up on a wall.

Well, self-deprecation
will get you everywhere.

- Cheers.

Wait, that's that bar
in Greenpoint?

Yeah, yeah, with the ping-pong.

I love ping-pong.

What? You trying to lose?

You know how to get there?

I'm sure I could find it.

Oh, From Russia with Love
is the best Bond movie!

- I'd love to see it sometime.
- Oh, yeah?

I got a copy at my place.
We should watch it.

When?

Let me check my schedule.
How about... now?

Sure.

That just
sounds terrible.

I'm not proud
of any of this.

Really?

Not even a little bit?

Not anymore.

So, you're sure you don't
want me to come with you?

Yeah, it's just an
engagement party for this guy
I used to play in a band with.

Well, look, I'd love to get
a little window into your past.

- I'm barely gonna know anyone.
- If I come, you'll know me.

Okay...

- I-- Sorry.

- What are we doing?
- What do you mean?

Well, you clearly don't wanna
be with me anymore, so.

Can you not? Please,
can you not be so paranoid?

- I'm gonna text you
when I come home.

Hey, hey. I promise, I'll text
you as soon as I leave.

I have to do everything for you?

What do you mean?

I'm leaving.

So for the last year
I've been single.

And I know it doesn't
seem like it, but I--

I've been trying really hard
to get my act together.

Look, it's not like I don't
come with my own complications.

Don't tell me: you're married.

Almost.

Wait, almost? I was joking.

I was set up
on a blind date

with a lawyer named Mark.

I hate blind dates,
and I thought I hated lawyers.

- Jane? Hi, I'm Mark.
- Hi.

- Hey.
- I'm so sorry I'm late.

Oh, that's okay. Oh, I--

I didn't realize we were
going somewhere dressy.

- I would've--
- Oh, no, no.
I just came from work.

- Oh.
- Yeah. I'm good.
You look great.

- Thanks.
- Shall we?

- Yeah.
- All right, great.

- All right. Mom is Kit,
Dad is... Drew.
- Yes! Yes.

They have a tendency to wear
identical Irish wool sweaters,

so sometimes it's hard
to tell them apart.

And they also
have an Irish wool rug,

so sometimes it's hard to
tell them apart from the rug.

Ah. Now you're just
making stuff up.

No, I spent
a whole night one time

talking to my dad about
the difference between

nautical miles and actual miles.

Turns out I was
talking to the rug.

- And Todd is your brother. Todd.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Yeah, he's our, uh,
pride and joy.

Kicked out of three schools for
drugs I've never even heard of.

- Oh.
- You know,
sometimes I wonder how

he even finds out
about 'em, you know?

Like, some special newsletter
for fuck-ups?

I think I get that newsletter.

Not anymore, you don't.

Ready?

Yeah.

Who wants sangria?

- Oh, wow!

- Mom, thanks.
- Ahh.

It's my special recipe.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Yes. Oh, okay. Sure.

Well, okay.

That's nice.

I-- I went to a summer camp
near here when I was a kid.

- Oh!
- Yeah, I remember
this one night,

I-- I got really trashed,

- and I tripped and I--
I fell into a ravine.
- Oh...

Um... yeah, and I-- I got
stuck there the entire night.

- It was-- it was crazy.
- Ah.

Boys didn't help
you get out of there?

Oh, no. No, they ran off.
They left me there.

Oh. Well, that is just terrible
that somebody would do that.

I only hope they were
prosecuted to the fullest
extent of the law.

- Todd's being sarcastic.

- One of his many charms.

So, Jane, uh, Mark tells us
you are a journalist.

- Mm-hmm.
- Now, where do you work?

I freelance.

- Oh!
- Ooh.

Oh, I could never manage that.

- Too stressful.
- Yes.

Actually, I like
not knowing where my next job
is coming from.

Keeps me on my toes.

And it means that no one
can tie me down, you know?

Well, uh, why don't I just
get right to the reason

- that we're here, then?
- Okay.

All right. Um, Jane and I...

are engaged.

Wait, you were engaged?

Ohh!

- Yeah, we're so happy.
- Thanks. Yeah.

Color me surprised!

When was this?

Three months ago.

- Whoa.
- Yeah.

I really wouldn't expect you
to be with a guy like, uh...

what was his name?

- Mark.
- Mark. Yeah.

I mean, I wouldn't
expect you to get engaged
to a guy like that.

Okay, what kind of guy would
you expect me to get engaged to?

I don't know. Like, a cynical...

you know, dark,
brooding guy with a neck tattoo?

Well-- well, that is
incredibly insulting.

But I see what you mean.

Okay, so what was so special
about this fuddy-duddy?

- I guess I was just tired
of the drama, you know?
- Mm-hmm.

I was willing to accept
the bargain.

What bargain?

That by capping my levels
of pleasure and pain

and generally
committing to the virtues
of relative happiness

in return, I'd get some
sort of stable life.

- Right.
- Wrong, actually.

Our engagement lasted 13 days.

- Hey, Todd.
- Hey.

Are you looking for Mark?

- He's at softball practice
until 4:30.
- I know.

Actually, uh...
I came to see you.

Oh.

- Are-- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

Uh, can I come in?

Yeah, of course. Come in.

This is pretty much the only
cocktail I know how to make.

Basically just
tastes like a candy bar.

I kinda have a crush on you.

I-- I had to tell you.

I stop during the day,
I wonder what you're doing.

Like, all the time.

Thank you.
That's-- that's very flattering.

I'm not as crazy
as Mark makes me out to be.

I'm just not so good at,
you know, being in denial.

Well, you're young.
You'll improve.

- Look, I'm serious.

I can't stop thinking about you.

Well, you should probably try.

Okay? Because
I'm marrying your brother.

You're the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen.

- And Mark?

Okay, he's boring.

You don't love him.

I know it. You know it.

- Do I?
- You're settling.

- And you're gonna regret it.
- Okay, Todd.

You're a junior in college,
all right? This is a crush.

It will burn off
in a month or two. I promise.

Yeah? You should ask him
to tell you the location

of any specific
freckle on your body.

Ask him if he's got
any of them memorized.

I do.

You should go now.

Good evening.
Can I help you, ma'am?

Hey, hey.

Everything all right?

I have to
tell you something.

Okay.

But, I mean, you--
you should know

that you don't
have to tell me anything.

Only if you want to.

Well, I thought the whole point
of marriage was, you know,

to-- to tell each other
everything, to not keep secrets.

People always have secrets.
And that's okay, you know?

Little bit of mystery's
a good thing, isn't it?

I slept with your brother.

You slept with his brother?

Ooh.

I gotta keep you
away from my family.

I mean, it's impressive, though.

Why torpedo something
when you can just...

...nuke it instead?

Yeah, well,
my self-loathing reached

new levels with this one.

I guess that's part
of the reason why

I came on so strong
today at the wedding.

I thought it was 'cause
I was so handsome and charming.

- No. You literally
could have been anyone.
- Got it.

So now what?

Well, what do you do
when you've told each other
everything

and you didn't
run for the hills?

- Oh!
- Oh, shit.

- Okay.
- Are you gonna hold it
against me that

our first time was
in a cheap motel?

- It's better than a coat closet.

- Wait.
- You fucking with me?

No, I'm serious.
Just... hold on.

- Are you all right?
- Yeah.

Look,
if we're really gonna do this,

I have to tell you
about someone else.

- Okay.
- And I-- I tried to--

I tried to tell you earlier.

His name was Wallace Fielding,

and we met while I was
finishing my master's.

- Come in.

Hi. Professor Fielding?

Please don't
call me "Professor."

That makes me feel
like I'm supposed to

- actually profess something.

- I'm Wallace.
- Yeah, I know. Hi.

I'm Jane.

- Nice to meet you, Jane.
- You too.

Wow. Timbers At Dawn...

that book changed my life.
I just have to tell you.

- Stop. You didn't read that.
- I did, many times.

- I'm sorry.
- No. I was actually wondering,
do you have a second to...

chat, or is it a bad time?

Uh, it's actually
the perfect time,

- because I don't wanna
grade these papers right now.
- Great, well.

- I'd love to chat.
- You're welcome, then.

Thank you so much for taking
the time to speak with me.

I-- I know that
you must be really busy.

Busy. Yes. But with what?

I took this job because
I needed a regular salary

that would allow me to write
in peace, but the truth is,

it just means I have an excuse
not to write it all.

So, what do you do, then?

- You really wanna know?
- Yeah, I do.

I-- I binge reality TV,

- like the show about
the Alaskan crab fisherman.

It's riveting, honestly.

This, uh, is it. This is me.

- Oh. Wow, it's so nice.
- Yeah.

I forget how this is done.

How-- how what is done?

How I'm supposed to
invite you in.

I could offer you a drink,
but I don't drink anymore.

Or I'd ask you if you wanna see
my etchings, but I don't etch.

- Do you etch?
- No, sadly, I do not.

I would like to come in.

- Really?
- Yeah.

It's a bit Spartan, I know.

But, uh, I need to be careful.

The Internet makes
acquiring things

far too easy
for a hermit like myself.

You must get out sometime.

Don't you go on
all those book tours?

I do the tours.

And then I come home,
and then I don't wanna
go out again

for a few years.

I used to go out
for AA meetings until I--

I couldn't listen to anyone
share their feelings anymore.

Most other human interaction
makes me wanna drink.

Don't you...

think it's important
to be out in the world?

Try new things?

I need a break from experiences,

otherwise I won't be able
to see anything clearly.

So, no room
for any new experiences?

I mean, I-- I might be
able to make an exception...

here and there.

Why don't you move in with me?

You're joking, right?

I'm serious.
I want you to move in.

You need a place to live.

Yeah, but shouldn't we date
for more than a week first?

I haven't dated anyone in years.

I never saw the point.

You see,
I'm either in or I'm out.

What do you think?

- Okay.
- Yeah?

Yeah!

And that was that.

I moved in.

Is it too late for us
to turn around and go home?

- Steady as she goes.
- Hey, Professor Fielding.

- What's going on?
- Hey.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Hi.

I-- I-- I promised that
we could go to this party,

but I'm gonna have
to break my promise.

Oh, come on.

It'll be fun.
Everyone loves you in there.

I only love you.

Okay. Well,

I only wanna be where you're at,

- so let's go home.
- No, no. You go without me.

You haven't
been to a party in months.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

- I'll be fine.
I'll do some work.
- Okay.

- Go have fun.
- All right.

- See you later.
- See you.

Okay.

Hey.

- What happened?
- Hey.

Come on.

Okay, come on.

Hey.

Hey.

Do you wanna talk
about what happened?

Uh...

...I guess while
you were out at your party,

I-- I had
a little party of my own.

I'm just confused, because you--
you told me to go to the party.

- You told me to go out.
- It isn't your fault.

Yeah, you should've
let me come home with you.

That's what I-- I wanted
to do in the first place.

- Hey, you know what?

I was thinking...

...maybe
we should get married.

- What?
- Yeah.

I'd-- I'd like to marry you.

If-- if-- if you--
if you want to.

- Do you want to?
- Hey. Hey.

Let's just focus on
this for right now, okay?

All I know is that I'd be a fool
if I didn't try to keep you.

Wow.

I guess you did
the Irish goodbye.

Yeah.

If it were an Olympic sport,
I'd be a lock for gold.

Did you
ever see him again?

I blamed myself.

I still do.

I couldn't date anyone for
a long time after that.

And then I got myself
engaged to Mark Forworth,

and I blew that to bits.

- Hmm.

So if you're looking
for someone to save you,

you are looking
in the wrong place.

I don't need you to save me.

God, I'm such a mess.

- Hey...

you're not even
the biggest mess in this room.

You don't have
to try and make me feel better.

I'm not.

I gotta
tell you about Audrey.

Hey, can I
get a vodka soda, please?

Hi.

You know,
you're never gonna believe it,

but I was gonna wear
this exact same outfit.

You could pull off a dress.
- You think so?

- Mm-hmm.
- I don't think that I'd look

- quite as beautiful
as you, though.
- Ah.

So, what
brings you here tonight?

Uh, they hired me
to take pictures of some band.

Yeah. What about you?

I'm the lead singer
of some band.

Ooh. Fuck.

You kinda set me up
for that, though.

Yeah, maybe a little.

Make me look good.

Ready?

Ah. Hi, everyone.

Thanks for coming out tonight.

Uh, this is an old favorite.

Is it okay if I move that lamp?

Oh, yeah,
move anything you want.

Are you sure it's all right?

I-- I don't
wanna mess up your space.

Yeah, it's just
a bunch of furniture

that I grabbed off the street.

You can put anything
anywhere you want, baby.

I just wanna be sure
that we're doing this right.

Of course.

And I don't wanna
sit around forever

waiting for something
to happen to me, you know?

Yeah. You know what?

- I'd like to be something that's
happening to you right now.

Your heart's
beating really fast.

I know. This is different.

Yeah, this is different.

Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I interrupted your story.
- Yeah, that was so rude of you.

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Who's Juliet?

That's the rest of the story.

Hey.

Sorry I'm late.
It's the fuckin' train.

- It's fine.
Here are your keys.
- Yeah, yeah.

Uh, I moved everything out.

Wow. That was quick.

Um...

Well, so what--
what are you gonna do?

- Where are you going to go?
- Home.

I'm moving back in
with my parents.

What?

- Why-- why do you wanna do that?
- I'm pregnant, Will.

I discussed it with them,
and they're going to help.

Wait, you-- you-- you told them,
and-- and you didn't tell me?

Are you joking?

You're the one
who broke up with me--

Okay, well,
'cause I-- 'cause I--

I need a little time
to figure things out.

- No, no--
- I didn't know that--

I-- I know you--
you weren't ready.

And you certainly
aren't ready for this, are you?

I'm sorry,
I-- I don't get a say?

Do you really want one?

That's what I thought.

So Juliet's my daughter.

How old is she?

She's turning five next week.

Are you doing anything?

For her birthday?

Um... I don't know.

I-- I-- um,
yeah, I'm not sure yet.

Wait, what--

what are you doing?
Why are you getting dressed?

I just--
I really gotta get home.

It's 6:00 in the morning.

Yeah, but I told you that
I have a deadline coming up, so.

Sorry, are you-- are you, like,
mad that I have a daughter?

No.

I'm sorry. I--
It was really nice meeting you.

Where are you going?

I am gonna go back to my car.

- I'll get a Lyft.
- No, no.

If-- if you really need to go,
I can drive you to your car.

I think we need
to say goodbye here.

I-- I'm sorry.

Can you help me understand,

why-- why are you
running off all of a sudden?

- Okay, you really wanna do this?
- Yeah.

What was the one thing
I asked you before
we slept with each other?

You asked me
if I had a girlfriend, right?

No, if you had any
significant relationships.

Anything that might
come up at a later time.

You don't think I might
wanna know that you have a kid?

Well, I-- I didn't think
that that's what you meant.

Yeah. This would never work.

Wait, what--
what do you mean, this--

What did I say
to make you think that?

It's not one thing you said,
it's all of it. It's everything.

How is it any different from
all the shit that you told me?

Well, it's
just unbelievably obvious

that you are someone
who cannot be counted on.

- Oh, come on. Geez.
- Yeah, when things
get too heavy for you,

- too real, you bail.
- Yeah, and you've run out on

every guy you've ever been with!

Yeah, because
I cannot help falling for

damaged guys like you!

So yes, I get out while I can!

- Hey, Will.
- Hey. What's up?

- Um, is she up?
- Yeah.

I'm just getting her ready.
Hang on a sec.

- Hi, Daddy.
- Hey, sweetheart, how you doing?
Good morning.

Are you
coming to see me today?

Am I coming to see you today?
No. Not-- not today.

But you're coming
to my birthday party?

Of course I'm coming
to your birthday party.

- I wouldn't
miss it for the world.
- Okay.

- Yeah.
- It's a painting party.

You're having a painting party?
I thought--

I mean,
your mom didn't tell me that.

Well, what are we gonna paint?

Um, a turtle!

We're gonna paint a turtle?
That sounds good.

Okay, well,
maybe I'll paint the head

and you can paint
the shell, okay?

Okay.

Did you get me a present?

Yeah, I got you a present,
but, uh, I can't--

- I can't tell you
what it is yet.
- Come on. Please?

- All right. Do you--
you really wanna know?
- Yes!

I got you that, uh,
Molly doll you wanted.

- Sally, not Molly!
- Oh, god damn it.

- Daddy!
- Oh--

You have to put
money in the swear jar.

Sorry, sorry.
Didn't mean to swear.

Um, okay, but I'll--
I'll get you the right thing.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

I miss you so much, baby.

I-- I really miss you so much.
How-- how's school going?

- Did you learn anything cool?
- Um...

did you know the whole world
used to be underwater?

Ohh. No,
I didn't know that.

Juliet, breakfast!

- I gotta go.
- Okay. Wait, wait.

Wait, um, baby, before you go,
do you think that we can--

we could just
do our thing really quick?

Okay, Daddy.

Okay.

I love you,
I love you, I love you...

I love you,
I love you, I love you...

...I love you, I love you,

I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you...

...I love you, I love you,

...I love you,
I love you, I love you.

Okay.
Have the best day at school.

- I-- I miss you so much.
- I miss you too.

- Bye, Daddy.
- Okay.
Bye, baby. I love you.

Long night?

Yeah.

- Wanna talk about it?
- No. God, no.

No, I've already done
way too much talking.

Can we actually just pull over?

Um, I just need to...
think for a second.

I-- I promise
I'll give you a good tip.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Um...

listen, I'm not crazy.

Or... I don't know, maybe I am.

But could you actually
just take me back to where

you picked me up from?
There's just--

Yeah, there's something
that I need to do.

Actually, on second thought--

or on third thought--
could we just follow that car?

Uh, yeah.

It's been one of those nights.

Yeah, you have no idea.

Hi.

Did--
did-- did you know that

the whole world
used to be underwater?

- What?
- Yeah.

My daughter just
told me that, and, uh...

I don't talk about her enough.

And I think maybe I even
got started yesterday because

I was trying to figure out
a way to tell you about her.

But she's amazing,

and I think
you would really love her.

Like, she kind of
reminds me of you, actually.

Like,
she'll just sing in the bath

at the top of her lungs,

and she doesn't care
how she sounds.

She'll ask me these creative,
incredible questions,

like, you know, "Daddy,
what are flowers made out of?"

And if I'm telling her a story
and she doesn't like the ending,

she just--
she just makes up her own.

I'm just... not there
to read to her enough.

But...

she's having a painting party
next week,

and I'm gonna be there,

and I'm gonna paint my ass off,
because I am just--

I am gonna be whatever
she needs me to be, you know?

I am gonna show up,
and I am gonna love

with my whole heart,
just like she does.

Because she-- she deserves that.

Jane, I'm a mess.

And I don't have any answers,

and I don't expect you to, either.

But...

ever since we met
and we started talking,

I just--

I started thinking that
maybe you and I could
figure it out.

Together.

Thank you.

Thank you for sharing that. I--

She sounds amazing.

Look, I was fully dreading
coming to this wedding.

Until you showed up. And--

and then you got to talking,

and the more you said,
the more I wanted to hear,

because I didn't
just get your words,

I got your way of seeing,
and thinking, and remembering,

and it turns out I had all
this shit I needed to share too.

And usually I feel
so alone in my memories,

but it was different with you.

It was like
you were right there.

And this is crazy.

I know that we just met,

and I know that this has
taken us both by surprise,

but I don't want
our conversation to end.

And I am afraid.

I admit that. I am fully
afraid of failing again.

But I don't wanna believe
that either one of us
is a hopeless case.

I don't. But...

I don't know.

Maybe we gotta take a leap.

Yeah, well,
it's one hell of a leap.

We don't have to promise
the rest of our lives
to each other.

We don't even have to promise
the rest of our day.

Let's just keep talking. Okay?

Because I love talking to you.

Let's just talk and talk

until we don't have
anything more to say.

All right.

Let's tell a story.