All language subtitles for The.Wizard.of.Gore.1970.REMASTERED.WS.1080p.BluRay.x265-RARBG-eng

I am montag,

master of illusion.

Defier of the laws of reason.

A magician,

if you will.

But then, what is a magician?

A person who tears asunder
your rules of logic

and crumbles your world of reality,

so that you can go home and say,

"oh, what a clever trickster he is.",
"what a sly deceiver."

And go to sleep

in the security

of your own "real" world.

What is real?

Are you certain you know what reality is?

How do you know that at this second

you aren't asleep in your bed,

dreaming that you are here in this theater?

I know. It all seems too real.

Well, haven't you
ever had a dream that seemed

very real

till you woke up?

Then again, how do you know

that you ever really did wake up,

in fact,

perhaps, when you had thought
that you were waking up,

you had actuallyjust begun to dream?

You see what I mean, don't you?

All your life,

your past,

your rules of what can or cannot be

may all be part

of one long dream
from which you are about to awaken

and discover the world as it really is.

Awakening the dead is beyond the scope
of my meager powers,

but the least I can do for you
is make Isaac Newton quiver in his grave

by defying his law of gravity.

What goes up...

Must come down.

Perhaps...

But not always.

Torture and terror
have always fascinated mankind.

Perhaps, whatever made your predecessors

see the sadism of the inquisition

and the Gore of a gladiator's arena

is the same thing that makes you stare

at bloody highway accidents

and thrill to the terror of death

in the bullring.

Today, television and films

give you the luxury of observing
grisly dismemberments and deaths

without anyone actually being harmed.

But, ladies and gentlemen,

have you ever seen the sight

of human butchery in person?

Well, tonight,

on this stage,

you will have the privilege

of seeing

such a sight.

For tonight,

I, montag,

will saw a living woman in half!

Old hat, you think?

A tired trick.

Well, skeptical ladies,

which one of you

will volunteer for this harmless stunt?

You were expecting a mere handsaw

and a covered wooden casket?

Oh, no.

That's the old-fashioned way
of sawing people in half.

Today, magicians are mechanized too

and nothing

will be concealed from your view.

Table for how many, please?

I'd still say that was the most
amazing thing I've ever seen.

Look, it was a good show and that's all.

Jack, why must you always be so jaded?

You saw him cut her in half, didn't you?

Weren't you even the least bit impressed?

Sure I was impressed, by his staging.

Look, the guy is no magician.
He's just a hell of a technician.

The mirrors, the lights,
probably a ringer in the audience.

He had the whole thing set up beautifully.

Of course. It was a trick.

If it was all that easy,
a light and a few mirrors like you say,

why hasn't anyone else done it before?

How do you know someone hasn't?

When's the last time
you've seen a magician?

You know, sometimes you make things
sound as exciting as a shoelace factory.

Hey, just think about those mets today...

- Ugh!
- 6-4, that's my team.

Everything except for sports, that is.

You know, I'm really hurt by that.

What kind of a relationship
are we going to have

if you don't take an interest in my work?

"Work"?

Look, I was raised in a house
with four brothers, a tomboy sister

and a dad who bet on basketball games.

The only reason why I left home
was to get away from the game of the week.

So in a city full of interior decorators,
you have fallen in love with a sports fan.

That's your tough luck.

- What's that all about?
- I don't know, maybe a hold-up.

- Looks like someone got hurt.
- Wait a minute, I got an idea.

Press, press.
Let us through, please.

Press, press. Officer, officer,
let us through, please. Press, press.

Hey, what happened?

The... the hand of that dead person
touched me.

I think I'm going to be sick.

You'll be all right, dear.

Listen, as soon as
I get you to your apartment,

I'll give you the emergency special.

Half-gin and half-vermouth.

We'll sprinkle the vermouth
over a female toad and we'll drink the gin.

- Let's go.
- Ok.

Hey, Jack, hurry up, man.
Your girlfriend's on the tube.

All right, I'm coming.

My mother once told me,

as mothers have been known to do
since the beginning of time,

that if I didn't have anything nice to say,
I should keep my precious little trap shut.

Well, if you watch this program regularly,

with the glut of cheap exploitation films
and the lack of talent on and off Broadway,

that's a practice that I find increasingly
difficult to follow in the theater

and review portion of this program...

Sarcastic broad
you've got there, Jack.

That's my girl.

Dear old mom,

that I'm abandoning stage and screen today

to bring you a much more
exotic bit of entertainment,

billed as "montag the great."

"Your eyes see, but
your mind won't believe."

In case you haven't guessed,
montag's a magician.

Well, the other night I
took in montag's show

expecting nothing more
than a nostalgic reminder

of the tuxedo-ed svengalis
that filled my childhood with

disappearing rabbits
and levitating volunteers

and yes, women sawed in half
before your very eyes.

Montag provided me
with more than I had bargained for.

He did indeed saw a member
of the audience in half,

only, he used an electric saw
that could have tumbled a redwood

and did it out in the open

where the entire audience
could watch the blade

pass through the woman's body.

It put me in a state of fright
such as I haven't experienced

since the wolfman had me quivering under
the seats of the old bijou in Kansas City.

A state from which I could not revive
until the woman arose in one piece

and took her bow.

We'll try and get montag here on this show

and see if we can't worm
some of his dark secrets out of him.

But don't wait.
See his act just as soon as you can.

That's our show for today, girls.

Join us tomorrow when we'll be talking to
female liberation leader, Alice steadman.

I'm Sherry Carson, and this has been
housewife's coffee break.

Mr. Montag, I'm Sherry Carson.

Sherry Carson?
I have a daytime talk television show?

I'd like to have you on my show.

Do you mind if I come in?

I don't give interviews.

Wouldn't you like to have a seat?

No, thank you.

I told you, I do not Grant interviews.

Look, Mr. Montag, I saw your show last night
and I thought you were absolutely fabulous.

I gave you a rave plug
on my television show today.

Look, with the exposure
of 15 minutes on the air,

you wouldn't have an empty seat
in the audience for a month.

I appreciate your "plug," as you say,

but I'm afraid a personal appearance
would be impossible.

I can't guarantee you this,
but there may be a chance

I could get you on our network's
national nighttime show,

if you cooperate of course.

Is that all, miss Carson?

I'm sorry I bothered you.

You probably have some magic hocus pocus
for selling tickets anyway.

Good bye.

Perhaps I have been too hasty
in rejecting your proposal,

and perhaps you have been too hasty

in your evaluation of my meager talents.

Why not come back
and see the performance tonight?

There will be tickets awaiting you
at the box office for you and a companion.

Tonight you will see a new illusion.

And then, if you feel the same way,

perhaps we will work out
some kind of arrangement.

Why thank you, Mr. Montag,
I certainly will be there tonight, and...

I am so, so sorry for being so...

No, I found you perfectly
charming. Good day.

- Good day.
- I'll see you tonight.

But we saw him last night.

Sherry. Sherry, I...

No. No, I don't care
if the tickets are free.

No, look, look...

Look, baby.

Of course not.

I don't want to stand
in the way of your career.

No, no, I am notjealous.

Of course not.

Look, look, look.

Are you sure he said
it's gonna be a different show?

All right, all right.

I'll pick you up in 40 minutes. Goodbye.

What goes up...

Must come down.

Perhaps...

But not always.

I'll kill you for this.

I'm sorry. Shh.

Torture and terror
have always fascinated mankind.

Perhaps, whatever drove your predecessors

to the sadism of the inquisition

and the Gore of a gladiator's arena

is the same thing that compels you

to stare at bloody highway accidents

and thrill to death in the bullring.

Today, television and films

give us the luxury of watching
grisly dismemberments and deaths

without anyone ever getting harmed.

But, ladies and gentlemen,

have you ever had the fine luxury

of observing a spectacle
of human butchery in person?

Well, tonight,

on this stage,

I will give you this opportunity.

For tonight,

I, montag,

will drive a spike through the brain

of a female volunteer from this audience!

Which one of you will volunteer
for this harmless stunt?

Come now, my skeptical friends.

A moment ago,
you were tired of my old tricks.

Don't tell me you're afraid of me now?

Isn't there one lady among you
who is considerate enough

to satisfy her fellow
human beings' lust for blood?

Did I say that I would drive
a solid metal spike...

Into this woman's brain?

Would a gentleman from the audience

kindly come up here
and inspect this object?

I'll do it.

It is solid metal, isn't it?

It appears to be.

You will notice that it
is sharpened on the end

to enable it to Pierce the subject's skull.

Will you now take this hammer

and pound the spike into the wood,

thereby proving that it is surely metal?

Are you now convinced?

It is.

Thank you.

You may return to your seat.

Now...

We are ready.

Come on. Maybe he'll tell us how he did it.

Mr. Montag, I'd like you to meet my fiance,
Jack ward.

Jack, montag, again.

Ah, miss Carson

and the helpful young
man from the audience.

- Won't you come in? Have a seat.
- Certainly. Thank you.

Well, did you enjoy tonight's performance
as much as last night's?

- Oh, we certainly did, but I...
- Hmm.

I don't suppose there's any way
we can get you to tell us your secrets.

"Secrets"?

Why, it's nothing
more than a illusion.

Why, what you think you've seen me do,

you know never could have happened.

So, what more could they be,

but mere simple, harmless illusions?

I'm afraid your illusions may not be
as harmless as you think.

What do you mean?

You know that woman you pretended
to saw in half last night?

Some nut must have followed her
after the show to a restaurant

and done the trick for real.

They found her body in a booth...

Cut in two pieces.

Oh, how awful.

How do you know?

I saw it in the paper
just as I was leaving the apartment.

I recognized her photo.

It was her body that
we ran into last night.

Very unfortunate.

You can't blame montag.

The killer could have been watching
a western on television

and gone out and killed someone.

Nevertheless, I feel very guilty.

Ah, she's right.

All the psychotics on the street
aren't your fault.

They're probably more likely
to go on a rampage

after a typical television show
than after one of your performances...

Which is one in a million.

Well, montag, have you reconsidered
being on my show?

Yes, I have reconsidered.

But I'm sorry to say
I must still refuse to be interviewed.

However,

I will agree to perform an illusion.

A very special illusion,

if I can have the technical facilities
necessary to do it.

Anything. Anything you want.
Would Friday's program be all right?

I think so.

And now if, uh,

you'll allow me, I must ask you to leave.

You see, these performances
do leave me quite exhausted.

And, uh, despite your delightful company,

I find it difficult suppressing my yawns.

Good night.

Oh, I would like you
to come to tomorrow's performance too.

For tomorrow, I promise you
a new and different illusion.

We wouldn't miss it for the world.

Excellent. Your tickets
will be waiting for you at the box office.

- Good night.
- It was a pleasure.

Good night.

Don't be such a lousy sport.

It won't kill you
to spend one more night in the theater.

No, but if I did go,

which I have no intention
of doing by the way,

I might kill you.

Look, how many basketball, football,
baseball, hockey games

have I sat through for you?

If you hate them so much,
then how come you always beg

to be with me when the games are sold out?

Oh, yeah?

Did I beg to see that inter-collegiate
wrestling tournament?

And, yuck, I never smelled
anything so terrible.

Then how come you were drooling
at those almost-naked male bodies?

Well, it was just kinda nice to see
one that was in good shape for a change.

Well, I just hope you like montag's body

because tomorrow night,
it's gonna be you and montag all alone.

Oh, come on, Jack. Don't be so pig-headed.

You heard what he said.

If we don't show up for his show,
we're going to offend him

and he's not going to show up for my show.

Okay... come here.

Wanna go upstairs
and we'll talk about it?

Not tonight.

- But tomorrow night, you're invited up for...
- A late dinner after the show,

and we'll see what develops.

- Witch.
- Good night.

Hi, Greg? This is Jack.

Did you cover that
sibley murder last night?

Well, who did?

Okay, could you put him on the phone?

Oh, and Greg?

Greg, listen. Any good
photos of that woman?

None you could use, huh?

Thatbad, huh?

All right. Put Steve on the phone.

Oh, and Greg?

Greg, listen.
Bring those police photos to lunch.

I don't have much of an appetite anyway.

All right.

Hello, Steve?

Yeah, Jack.

Yeah. Her skull was
pierced through the ears.

There was a lot of internal bleeding.

Her face was a black-and-blue bloody mess.

Worst Halloween mask
I've ever seen.

Well, Greg will show you the pictures.

Yeah, they identified her right away.

Yeah, they're contacting her family now.

There should be a good photo soon.

Yeah, take care.

Yeah, bye.

Hey, buddy. Can I help you?

Get out...

I told you.

I don't know. It could be.

Why don't you go back to the Polo matches
and let us cover the homicides?

You know, that's fine with me.
This stuff's nauseating.

What are you, some kind of ghoul?

Me, a ghoul?

You're the one who wanted to see
pictures of human ravioli for dessert.

What are you so interested in anyway?

Remember montag the magician?

The one that Sherry talked about
on her show the other day?

- Yeah.
- Well, that woman he sawed in half,

that's the same woman that they found cut
in two in a restaurant later that night.

- You sure?
- It was her, all right.

Sherry dragged me to see montag again.

She wants him on her show.

- Sibley?
- I don't know.

It could be.

And if it is?

And if it is, that means
there's a psycho out in the audience

who gets turned on by montag's tricks.

And then he follows the subjects out
of the theater to do the tricks for real.

Or, montag himself.

Now that would be what I call
a tasteless publicity stunt.

But you know, it could be.

Anyway, as soon as you get a
good photograph of this sibley gal,

I'll be able to tell for sure if it's
the same woman I saw up on the stage.

- I'll let you know the second it comes in.
- Ugh!

Nothing more I can do except that.

Isn't there one lady among you

considerate enough to satisfy
your fellow human beings' lust for blood?

Here's my volunteer now.

Step this way.

This handy little gadget is a punch press.

It is used to stamp
pots out of solid metal.

Tonight, we've made one little modification

for this performance.

I'm afraid we had to add this stock

to restrain the young lady from flinching

when the punch press
comes crashing down on her body!

Will a gentleman from the audience
kindly come up here and assist me?

Does this feel like solid wood to you?

It does.

Now let's prove it to the audience.

Strike it.

Now place it on the shelf of the machine.

Thank you. You may sit down.

Allow me to remove this pretty ornament.

It would be such a shame to ruin it.

Allow me to show you the area

we will operate on.

That's horrible.

Jack, do you really
think that could be true?

The photo shows that the body
they found was the same woman

that had that thing put through her head
by montag the other night.

I'd say it was damn good
circumstantial evidence.

If someone is killing the women
that volunteer for the tricks,

it couldn't possibly be montag.

How could he have followed
the first woman to the restaurant

when he was still onstage taking his bows?

And we were both with him when they found
the body of the second woman.

Yeah, but the first woman could've been
a ringer in the audience

who montag met at the restaurant.

And we weren't with him
more than 30 minutes the second night.

But, like I said,
if someone is killing those women,

it's probably some nut out in the audience.

Well, if what you say is true,

what's going to happen to the woman
that volunteers for the trick tonight?

Won't the killer be after her?

It was just a wild idea.

I can't have some strange woman
put under police surveillance

on a weird hunch.

They'd think I was the one who was nuts.

Anyway,

can you imagine a psycho chasing a woman
down the street, pushing a punch press?

No.

Anyway, I didn't come here
to play Scotland yard.

Hello?

Greg?

It's for you.

Yeah?

Man, I've been trying
to reach you all night.

Finally get a good picture of that woman?

Yeah, that may be old business.

You saw montag's show
again tonight, didn't you?

Yeah, only for the third time now.

Yeah, what was his coup de grace tonight?

Well, this time he punch-pressed a woman
from head to foot.

As usual, she came
through it in fine style. Why?

All right, listen to this.

A woman heard a man screaming
in the apartment next to her.

She ran in and her neighbor, a Mr. Kowicky,

was lying on the bedroom floor
holding his wife's head.

Now, the rest of her body
was on the bed about five feet away.

She looked like she'd been run over
by a threshing machine.

I'm at the 18th street station now.

Yeah, look, the cops have a photo of sibley,
and also the woman that was killed tonight.

Now, you better get down here
and have a look.

Give me 15 minutes.

- Let me see that photo, will you?
- Okay.

- What the hell is going on?
- Another psycho murder.

This time a woman
completely mashed to a pulp.

Remember montag's trick tonight?

Oh, god!

I'm on my way to the police station
to look at that sibley photo

and the photo of the other woman.

- Hey, where are you going?
- I'm going with you.

Listen, I saw those women.
I wanna look at the photos, too.

All right, suit yourself.

Yeah, that's the woman.

I'm sure of it. I was just inches
away from her on the stage.

What about the other one?

I'm sure that's the woman
montag had on the punch press.

So where do we go from here?

"So where do we go from here?"

Have you told anyone else
about that connection you made

between montag's shows and the murders?

Well, just the people here.

Oh, and montag.

So when did you talk to him?

Last night. Right after the show.

That means

if montag is the killer,

he would've had to run out after
miss sibley right after you told him

you suspected a connection
between the previous trick

and the restaurant killing.

And he would've committed tonight's murder
knowing you were in the audience.

That doesn't seem very likely.

Yeah, but there's nothing that's very
rational about any of these murders.

True enough.

But let's figure it this way.

No one knows we made a connection
between the show and the killings.

Other people in the audience
may have made the same connection,

but if we keep these photos
out of the papers for a day,

they can't know for sure.

All we have to do
is attend tonight's performance,

keep the featured volunteer
under surveillance after the show.

If the killer goes after her, we get him.

If he doesn't try it tonight,
we try it again tomorrow night.

And if that doesn't work?

We go back
to old-fashioned police work.

You know what gets me
about this whole thing?

What really bugs me
is that we haven't been able to locate

a single murder weapon
in any of the killings.

I mean, the slicing is one thing.

I can even figure the skull-cracking.

But you just don't mash a body
like the one we found tonight

with a hand weapon
you can hide in your pocket.

It's as if all the weapons just disappear.

Like magic.

What could be safer
than swallowing a sword?

No cyclamates.

No calories.

An excellent way to get your iron.

The only problem in swallowing a sword

is that if you wiggle around too much
while you're doing it,

it may interfere with your digestive tract.

Here we have two young ladies'...

Desserts.

Will a gentleman from the audience
please come up here

and prove that these swords are real?

And...

Lethal.

You must be stage-struck.

Come back here and take this sword.

We didn't figure
on two volunteers.

Yeah. Excuse me.

- We'll have to split up.
- Yeah, we do.

Now, sir,

sever the rope.

Are you convinced the sword is real?

It appears to be.

Thank you.

You may take your seat.

I told you to take your seat.

I think I've been tempting you long enough

with my little treat.

Now I guess we just go back
to your place and wait.

Let's go.

Hello.

Greg?

For god's sakes, what's happened?

Oh, that can't be.

Wasn't someone following them?

Greg, that's not possible.

- What the hell's going on?
- Just a minute.

Harlan was following
one of the women in a cab.

Her car stopped at a red light,
the light turned green,

she didn't move.

She didn't move at all. He found her dead.

The inside of her body
was completely ripped out.

Kramer was staked out
at the other woman's apartment.

He hears a crash, goes in, finds her dead.

The same way.
Her insides were just all torn apart.

Greg, who was in the car with that woman?

Look, where are you now?

Good. Okay, meet us at the police station.
We're leaving right away.

Good bye.

Come on, honey, let's go.

I'm telling you,
she was alone in that car.

I saw her walk into the garage alone,
I saw her drive away alone.

I followed her for 20 minutes
and she was alone,

and I was 15 seconds behind her
when she stopped.

And she was still alone.

But someone could've gotten into her car

while you were waiting for her
to leave the garage.

And that same person

could have killed Mrs. Ross

and then jumped from the car
just before you got to it.

That's not very possible.

Well, then you tell me. What is possible?

What about the one you were watching?

Could anyone have been
in the room with her?

Sure, there could have been
someone waiting inside.

But where'd they disappear to?

I was watching that front door
from the minute she went in.

And that...
The back door was bolted from the inside.

What about the windows?

The only window that wasn't locked
was the one with the air conditioner in it

and judging by the screws,
that window hadn't been opened in years.

Look, you know, we appreciate
your help in all this,

but I'm getting a little tired
of you playing detective.

There's a lot of things
you haven't even thought of.

Things that we've been considering
for a long time.

We've gone over this thing 20 times.

Some of the things for example

is we're looking for two killers, not one.

Two killers.

And if someone had been waiting
in that apartment for miss Andrews,

that person couldn't have been
at the theater to see montag's trick.

And the person that was at the theater
couldn't have got back in time.

And another thing that you don't know,

someone killed a morgue attendant today

trying to get at the woman
that was killed last night.

I'm sorry, it's just that

everything that's
happened is so impossible.

Look, let's just say "improbable".
They did happen.

In fact, that's almost all we know.

Montag is scheduled to perform
on your show tomorrow, isn't he?

Yes, he's supposed to do
some sort of a fire trick.

But I guess that's out of the question now.

Only if you want it to be.

What do you mean by that?

If montag decides to
do one of his specialties,

who would be the logical volunteer?

Wait a minute...

Now, wait a minute, Jack.

I guess I would.

If you're willing,
I'd like you to go through with his act.

We'll be right by your side.

You'll be on guard and never out
of our sight till we catch the killers.

Your protection didn't help
those other two women.

Well, now he explained all that.

They couldn't possibly have been
with the other two, both at the same time.

I'll be all right. I'll do it.

Thank you, Sherry.

Well, I guess you're old enough
to know what you're doing.

Jack,
everything will be all right.

Everything will go just as we've planned.
You'll see.

Oh, please, Jack! What can go wrong?

Nothing much. You
can get killed, that's all.

Someone's going to be with me all the time.

Listen, believe me, I'm no hero.

- Too many things can go wrong.
- Like what?

Just...

Things.

Well...

Just in case they do,

and I cash in my chips
and go to that big network in the sky,

how about one for good luck?

That's not funny.

- Where you going, hon?
- I have to go to the studio now.

I have to be there
three hours before the show, you know.

- Just be careful.
- Oh, you bet.

See you tonight?

The trick I am about to perform

will be the greatest illusion in my career.

You know, I'm sure you've seen
many magicians

performing clever tricks
using volunteers from the audience.

But, uh, tell me,

as you were watching them,

how many times did you get the thought

that those volunteers
were actually henchmen of the magician

planted in the audience to dupe you?

Well, today, I shall dispel
any such skepticism.

For today,

I shall let every single member
of this audience

participate in a trick that will stagger
the minds of the television viewers.

Afterward, they still may not believe
what they have witnessed.

But you who are here will believe

for you will have lived through it.

You will live through an experience

that you now think no living creature

can survive.

But first...

Let us link our minds.

If you can see and hear me

both here in the studio
and in the viewing audience,

concentrate.

Concentrate on putting
your being into my mind,

and I will concentrate

on putting my mind in your being.

Look deeply at me.

Let your eyes fly like
Spears from a distance,

breaking down the barriers between us.

Penetrate into my mind!

My god!

Greg, look at your hand.

Our hands are bleeding!

Greg!

Our hands are bleeding.

Greg! Greg! Greg! Look at your hand!

Greg! Greg!

It's montag, he's doing it. Montag!

We've gotta stop him.
He's going to kill everyone.

Steve, look at your hand!

Steve! Steve!

Miss Carson,

Mr. Harlan,

Mr. Kramer,

let us now join hands

and prepare for our journey

into the inferno.

Excellent, excellent.

Now we are almost ready.

Soon, you will feel the exquisite warmth

of the beautiful flames before you.

Vvhathappened?

Montag was gonna push
everyone in the audience into the fire.

He had everyone hypnotized.

Somehow, he was making
everyone's hand bleed.

They're not bleeding now.

His power must have died with him.

Well, it's all over now.

I'm sure glad
everything's back to normal again,

but there are so many unanswered questions.

Jack, why weren't you hypnotized?

Well, in all the performances we saw,

no one ever volunteered for the tricks
until montag stared out into the audience.

Didn't you feel funny when he did that?

Well, when he started staring
on that television screen

I just refused to look at him.

Lucky for everyone, you did.

But...

How could he hypnotize hands into bleeding?

How could he have killed
all of those women after his tricks?

What happened to all the stolen bodies?

If he was planning to lead
all of us into the fire,

why did he die when you pushed him in?

The... the whole thing's impossible.

It... it couldn't have happened.

Jack, what...

What?

You fool.

What makes you think
you know what reality is?

Tell me the truths of
what can or cannot be.

Oh, no.

You've been living in one long dream.

But now,

you're going to discover
what the real world is!

How dare you laugh?

How dare you!

Look at me now if you dare.

Look into my eyes.

What will I see there?

The past...

And the future.

Do you think
you're the only one who deals in illusions?

You mean...

You?

You too?

I too.

And you. You are my illusion.

You are no longer even here.

You'll have to start
your little charade all over again.

But I...

I am montag!

Yes, I am montag,

master of illusion.

Defier of the laws of reason.

What is real?

Are you certain you know what reality is?

How do you know that at this second

you aren't sleeping in your bed,

dreaming that you are here
sitting in this theater?

- You know what I think?
- What?

I think he's a phony.