All language subtitles for The King of Queens - S08E19 - Emotional Rollercoaster (1080p x265 EDGE2020)-ing

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,283 Happy 40th, Douglas. 2 00:00:37,351 --> 00:00:39,285 Oh, wow. Hey. 3 00:00:39,353 --> 00:00:40,637 Here we go. 4 00:00:42,974 --> 00:00:44,775 "Welcome to stereo." 5 00:00:44,843 --> 00:00:46,377 It's marvelous. 6 00:00:46,444 --> 00:00:48,746 You hear a bowling ball rolling in one speaker 7 00:00:48,813 --> 00:00:51,782 and the pins falling down in the other. 8 00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:55,519 I think we've found our new make-out album. 9 00:00:58,422 --> 00:01:00,757 Ok, this one's from Danny. 10 00:01:00,825 --> 00:01:01,959 Ok. 11 00:01:02,026 --> 00:01:03,910 Yeah, I couldn't figure out what to get you. 12 00:01:03,978 --> 00:01:06,463 Then I walked by lazy Eddie's. 13 00:01:08,499 --> 00:01:10,400 The grasper? 14 00:01:10,485 --> 00:01:12,652 Yeah. You use it to pick up stuff. 15 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,039 And the first part of my body has been replaced. 16 00:01:17,442 --> 00:01:18,909 Oh! 17 00:01:18,976 --> 00:01:21,311 Yeah, that's great. 18 00:01:21,329 --> 00:01:24,481 Reaching was the only cardio he had left. 19 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,288 Oh, you can just put those in the sink. Thanks. 20 00:01:31,355 --> 00:01:32,689 Ok. 21 00:01:32,757 --> 00:01:35,375 So has Doug been freaking out about turning 40? 22 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,077 No. He's doing fine. 23 00:01:37,144 --> 00:01:41,014 Oh. My husband Matt totally went to pieces. 24 00:01:41,082 --> 00:01:42,365 Really? 25 00:01:42,433 --> 00:01:43,684 Yeah. It was rough for a while, 26 00:01:43,835 --> 00:01:46,603 but it ended up being just the kick in the pants he needed. 27 00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:49,939 He got back into shape. He started his own business. 28 00:01:50,007 --> 00:01:53,110 Oh. And he's taking me to Paris next month. 29 00:01:54,512 --> 00:01:56,045 Huh. 30 00:02:02,654 --> 00:02:04,854 Hey, uh, do you have any marshmallows? 31 00:02:04,922 --> 00:02:07,924 Doug wants to see if he can catch 'em with the grasper. 32 00:02:07,992 --> 00:02:09,726 Upper right cabinet. Ok. 33 00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:12,962 But don't use 'em all, 'cause that's how I give him his Lipitor. 34 00:02:13,030 --> 00:02:14,964 Hey, deac, uh, 35 00:02:15,032 --> 00:02:17,634 Doug's taking 40 in stride, huh? 36 00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:19,252 Oh, yeah. 37 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,437 'Cause I know some guys this age, they start freaking out. 38 00:02:21,505 --> 00:02:23,674 They start wondering, "am I happy where I am? 39 00:02:23,741 --> 00:02:27,410 Is this all there is?" Why isn't he freaking out? 40 00:02:27,478 --> 00:02:28,494 I don't know. 41 00:02:28,562 --> 00:02:30,797 'Cause, I mean, he should be. Shouldn't he? 42 00:02:30,864 --> 00:02:33,717 He can't be happy with where he is in his life. 43 00:02:33,785 --> 00:02:37,387 Going to work in short pants and lugging around packages to people. 44 00:02:37,454 --> 00:02:40,390 Uh-huh. You know I do the same thing. 45 00:02:44,862 --> 00:02:45,962 Yes. 46 00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:48,164 But you are not 40. 47 00:02:48,232 --> 00:02:50,701 I turn 39 next month. 48 00:02:50,768 --> 00:02:51,618 Really? Yeah. 49 00:02:51,685 --> 00:02:53,203 Well, you look super. 50 00:02:53,270 --> 00:02:55,806 Thanks. Maybe he does have some stuff going on. 51 00:02:55,873 --> 00:02:58,508 It's probably just all bottled up inside. 52 00:03:08,553 --> 00:03:09,986 Deep inside. 53 00:03:10,054 --> 00:03:12,422 Mm-hmm. 54 00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:17,360 Well, Happy Birthday, baby. 55 00:03:17,428 --> 00:03:19,462 Thanks. 56 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,831 Mmm! 57 00:03:20,899 --> 00:03:23,734 Oh! You don't know what you're getting yourself into. 58 00:03:23,801 --> 00:03:26,819 I just had a handful of these sexy pills 59 00:03:26,887 --> 00:03:28,738 that Spence gave me. 60 00:03:28,806 --> 00:03:31,340 And, uh-whoa. It's kicking in. 61 00:03:33,477 --> 00:03:36,646 That's cute, baby. That's cute. 62 00:03:36,748 --> 00:03:37,948 So are things all good? 63 00:03:38,016 --> 00:03:39,016 Yeah. Why? 64 00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:41,018 Well, just that it is the big 4-0. 65 00:03:41,085 --> 00:03:43,353 And I know a lot of guys when they get this age, 66 00:03:43,421 --> 00:03:45,923 they start having some regrets. 67 00:03:45,974 --> 00:03:46,990 What about? 68 00:03:47,057 --> 00:03:49,192 Oh, about, uh... you know, 69 00:03:49,260 --> 00:03:50,760 your life, 70 00:03:50,828 --> 00:03:54,030 your job, things you wish you'd done. 71 00:03:54,098 --> 00:03:55,966 Actually, now that you say it, 72 00:03:56,034 --> 00:03:58,735 I kind of wish I called in sick today. 73 00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,553 Come on. I'm trying to talk to you here. 74 00:04:00,621 --> 00:04:03,056 You're really worried about me, aren't you? 75 00:04:03,107 --> 00:04:06,443 Yes. So if there's anything you wanna talk about or work on, 76 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:08,411 I am here for you. 77 00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:11,999 Carrie, I am happy. I don't have a single regret. 78 00:04:12,066 --> 00:04:14,301 I mean, I've accomplished more in my life 79 00:04:14,369 --> 00:04:17,604 than I'd ever thought possible. 80 00:04:21,225 --> 00:04:22,759 Well... 81 00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,027 Good. 82 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:31,384 Morning. 83 00:04:31,452 --> 00:04:33,987 Hey. I was thinking about what you said last night. 84 00:04:34,055 --> 00:04:36,223 "Is there anything I wish I had done?" 85 00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:37,674 And I thought of something. 86 00:04:37,741 --> 00:04:39,442 Really? What is it? 87 00:04:39,510 --> 00:04:42,562 I wanna ride goliath. 88 00:04:42,629 --> 00:04:44,831 What's that? 89 00:04:44,899 --> 00:04:47,000 It's this huge roller coaster at thrill Mountain. 90 00:04:47,068 --> 00:04:49,035 When it first opened up, my dad and I, we went there, 91 00:04:49,103 --> 00:04:51,104 and we waited on line for like 2 and a half hours. 92 00:04:51,172 --> 00:04:54,140 When I finally got to the front, I don't know what ha- 93 00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:56,509 I just got scared and I ran off. 94 00:04:56,577 --> 00:04:58,245 I can't do it. 95 00:04:58,312 --> 00:05:01,647 Oh, for Pete's sake, this 10-year-old kid's going on a third time. 96 00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:04,050 I'll be in captain Jack's fish yard. 97 00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:09,956 Not a day goes by 98 00:05:10,023 --> 00:05:12,692 that I don't regret my decision to get out of that line. 99 00:05:12,710 --> 00:05:15,512 That's a lot to live with, hon. 100 00:05:15,513 --> 00:05:17,246 Yeah. So I'm thinking Saturday. 101 00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:19,115 Yeah. Saturday. I got to go to work. 102 00:05:19,183 --> 00:05:21,151 Wait a second. You got a little lint. Little lint. 103 00:05:21,218 --> 00:05:22,385 Ok, stop it. 104 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,637 It's mine now. Hey, it's grasper! 105 00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:26,056 Yeah. Ok. Good. 106 00:05:26,124 --> 00:05:29,760 Come on. I need that for the drive-through. 107 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,834 I wanted to tell you 108 00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,836 you should probably give Carrie a little extra space 109 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,404 these next couple of days. 110 00:05:41,472 --> 00:05:43,039 What are you talking about? 111 00:05:43,174 --> 00:05:44,891 I was talking to her at your birthday yesterday, 112 00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:48,361 and I think she kind of wishes you wanted more out of life, 113 00:05:48,429 --> 00:05:52,265 because you haven't amounted to very much. 114 00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:55,118 She... she wants me to have a midlife crisis? 115 00:05:55,252 --> 00:05:57,487 Pretty much. You ready to go? 116 00:05:57,588 --> 00:06:00,023 She's just trying to get me to improve myself 117 00:06:00,091 --> 00:06:02,359 to get a better life for her. 118 00:06:02,426 --> 00:06:04,027 She's unbelievable. 119 00:06:04,094 --> 00:06:05,829 Actually, she kind of got me thinking. 120 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,231 I'm gonna apply for that I.P.S. Management program. 121 00:06:08,298 --> 00:06:09,632 Why don't you do it with me? 122 00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:13,319 Why don't you sack up and fight the power, Nancy? 123 00:06:13,387 --> 00:06:15,922 All I'm saying is this thing ain't going away. 124 00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:17,524 I'll deal with it, believe me. 125 00:06:17,591 --> 00:06:19,809 She wants a crisis, I'll whip something up. Shut the door. 126 00:06:45,236 --> 00:06:47,170 Doug, what are you doing? 127 00:06:47,238 --> 00:06:49,906 Nothing. Go back to sleep. 128 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:50,790 Ok. 129 00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:57,847 H- h-hate myself! 130 00:07:02,252 --> 00:07:04,687 Are you ok? 131 00:07:04,755 --> 00:07:06,856 Yeah. I'm great. 132 00:07:06,907 --> 00:07:08,674 I'm 40 years old and what have I done in my life really? 133 00:07:08,742 --> 00:07:10,743 Where am I going with my life? What am I doing? 134 00:07:10,795 --> 00:07:14,030 What are you talking about? You said you were ok with being 40. 135 00:07:14,048 --> 00:07:17,167 Yeah. The nile ain't just a river in Spain, Carrie. 136 00:07:21,872 --> 00:07:23,172 I just... 137 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,042 I thought a lot about what you said the other night. 138 00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:27,811 I don't know. 139 00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:30,046 What is this? 140 00:07:30,097 --> 00:07:33,099 I was making a list of my accomplishments. 141 00:07:33,151 --> 00:07:36,252 Oh, well, there's something on here. Let's see what it says. 142 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,021 "Get butterfingers." 143 00:07:46,931 --> 00:07:49,598 That was... That was for me. 144 00:07:50,751 --> 00:07:52,718 Oh, baby, come on. 145 00:07:52,753 --> 00:07:55,605 My... my God, you're soaked. 146 00:07:55,673 --> 00:07:58,241 Great. Now I'm a failure and I can't control my sweat glands. 147 00:07:58,308 --> 00:08:00,409 You are not a failure, ok? 148 00:08:00,477 --> 00:08:03,046 You are a very smart, talented guy 149 00:08:03,113 --> 00:08:05,765 who could do anything he puts his mind to. 150 00:08:05,832 --> 00:08:07,100 Do you really believe that? 151 00:08:07,168 --> 00:08:08,318 Yes. 152 00:08:08,385 --> 00:08:11,154 Well, all I wanna do is just... 153 00:08:11,222 --> 00:08:13,056 I wanna give you a better life. 154 00:08:13,123 --> 00:08:15,425 And I want a better life. 155 00:08:16,744 --> 00:08:18,678 I wanna buy you a bigger house. 156 00:08:18,746 --> 00:08:21,280 I wanna take you around the world and give you the best of everything. 157 00:08:21,348 --> 00:08:22,615 Yes, honey! Ok! 158 00:08:22,683 --> 00:08:25,118 You know what? Starting right now. 159 00:08:25,185 --> 00:08:26,603 Oh, my God. What are you gonna do? 160 00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:28,237 I'm quitting my job. 161 00:08:28,305 --> 00:08:30,640 Wha-what? You're quitting your job? 162 00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:34,294 If I'm gonna make it to the top, I can't think like a donkey. 163 00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:36,896 I need time to plan my course. 164 00:08:36,964 --> 00:08:38,014 Ok. How much time? 165 00:08:38,081 --> 00:08:39,348 6 months, a year. 166 00:08:39,416 --> 00:08:41,784 You cannot put a clock on greatness. 167 00:08:41,852 --> 00:08:45,055 How much a lasik surgeon pull down, you think? 168 00:08:45,122 --> 00:08:46,940 Ok, you know what? Let's slow down here. 169 00:08:47,008 --> 00:08:48,908 You don't believe in me then. You don't. 170 00:08:48,976 --> 00:08:51,744 I do. I do. I'm just thinking out loud. 171 00:08:51,812 --> 00:08:54,363 It's just that now I think... You know what? 172 00:08:54,431 --> 00:08:57,901 Our life is great just the way it is. 173 00:08:57,968 --> 00:08:59,635 So you want me not to quit my job 174 00:08:59,703 --> 00:09:02,272 and everything just stay the same the way it is 175 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,774 and not change the major parts of my life. 176 00:09:04,842 --> 00:09:06,709 No. Not right now. 177 00:09:08,012 --> 00:09:11,714 What-whatever my baby wants. 178 00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:24,493 $42 to get in. 179 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:27,328 I remember when you could ride the roller coaster for 10 cents, 180 00:09:27,397 --> 00:09:29,330 and it'd take you anywhere in the city. 181 00:09:29,399 --> 00:09:31,600 Arthur, I think that's the subway. 182 00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:33,234 What happened to Carrie? 183 00:09:33,302 --> 00:09:35,604 Oh, she's over there getting a cobra tattoo. 184 00:09:35,671 --> 00:09:37,205 Thought it'd be hot. 185 00:09:37,273 --> 00:09:39,207 How'd you get her to do that? 186 00:09:39,275 --> 00:09:41,342 I just threatened to cry and become a carpenter. 187 00:09:41,411 --> 00:09:43,845 Wow. You're really milking this whole midlife crisis thing, huh? 188 00:09:43,913 --> 00:09:46,381 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now I'm happy. She's happy. 189 00:09:46,449 --> 00:09:48,433 Listen. By the way, if it comes up, 190 00:09:48,501 --> 00:09:50,518 I threw Carrie a little bone. 191 00:09:50,586 --> 00:09:54,055 I told her O'Boyle was recommending me for that boss school. 192 00:09:54,123 --> 00:09:55,239 The management training program. 193 00:09:55,307 --> 00:09:57,626 Whatever. Point is, Tuesday nights from 7:00 to 9:00, 194 00:09:57,694 --> 00:09:59,294 I'm not at the movies. 195 00:09:59,362 --> 00:10:00,495 Huh? 196 00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:02,180 Hey. 197 00:10:02,248 --> 00:10:04,566 This thing does come off, right? 198 00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:07,469 I hope not, 'cause I couldn't want you more. 199 00:10:07,536 --> 00:10:08,970 All right, so what's the plan? 200 00:10:09,038 --> 00:10:11,306 Well, Danny and I are gonna hit the haunted castle. 201 00:10:11,374 --> 00:10:13,575 Yeah. Scared chicks are very approachable. 202 00:10:13,642 --> 00:10:15,777 And I'm taking major to the kids zone. 203 00:10:15,844 --> 00:10:18,446 Oh, ok. So we'll just meet back here at 2:00. 204 00:10:18,514 --> 00:10:20,315 All right? Sounds good. 205 00:10:22,318 --> 00:10:24,118 Wait a minute. 206 00:10:24,186 --> 00:10:25,520 Who's gonna take my dad? 207 00:10:25,538 --> 00:10:26,838 I don't need a caretaker. 208 00:10:26,906 --> 00:10:28,840 Just point me in the direction of the bearded lady, 209 00:10:28,908 --> 00:10:30,308 and I'll be on my way. 210 00:10:30,376 --> 00:10:32,844 Dad, I don't want you off on your own. 211 00:10:32,912 --> 00:10:34,846 Maybe we should just take him with us. 212 00:10:34,914 --> 00:10:36,414 He can't get on the roller coaster. 213 00:10:36,482 --> 00:10:38,416 He's got bladder issues, and he unlatches the safety bar. 214 00:10:38,484 --> 00:10:40,151 Deac. 215 00:10:40,219 --> 00:10:43,421 Oh, well, we're going on the merry-go-round. I'm sure Arthur- 216 00:10:43,489 --> 00:10:45,223 I love the merry-go-round. 217 00:10:46,825 --> 00:10:50,695 Well, great. Have fun, and don't let him have any chocolate. 218 00:10:50,763 --> 00:10:53,164 Ok? Bye. 219 00:10:53,232 --> 00:10:57,885 Come on, major. Did you know, as a young man, I worked as a carny? 220 00:10:57,953 --> 00:11:03,358 One day, I had to hold a man's severed leg for five hours. 221 00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:15,403 Come on. 222 00:11:15,471 --> 00:11:19,007 Buddy, settle down. 223 00:11:19,074 --> 00:11:21,243 Why is the line so long? 224 00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:23,728 Get used to it. Life is one long line. 225 00:11:23,796 --> 00:11:26,431 Except at the end of it, there ain't no merry-go-round. 226 00:11:26,498 --> 00:11:28,316 Do you mind, Arthur? 227 00:11:28,384 --> 00:11:31,686 Look, partner, why don't we get on something that's not so long? 228 00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:33,705 Like the hall of nutrition. 229 00:11:33,773 --> 00:11:35,323 No. I wanna go on the horses. 230 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:39,477 What would you say if I told you 231 00:11:39,545 --> 00:11:41,980 I could get the three of us to the front of this line 232 00:11:42,048 --> 00:11:44,715 and every other line in this park? 233 00:11:44,783 --> 00:11:45,967 Hmm? 234 00:11:55,978 --> 00:11:57,913 What are you looking at? 235 00:11:57,980 --> 00:12:00,114 You don't like seeing a man in a wheelchair? 236 00:12:00,182 --> 00:12:01,933 Then don't send me to Korea. 237 00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:03,668 You're welcome for your freedom. 238 00:12:03,736 --> 00:12:05,270 Right this way, sir. 239 00:12:08,907 --> 00:12:10,791 Great call on the bird show. 240 00:12:10,859 --> 00:12:12,860 They said that's where all the chicks would be. 241 00:12:12,928 --> 00:12:14,862 Yeah. Real chicks in a nest. 242 00:12:14,930 --> 00:12:17,265 Ok. Now we know. 243 00:12:22,888 --> 00:12:25,256 Hi. Can I have a cherry ice? 244 00:12:29,462 --> 00:12:31,396 Oh, hello, miss. 245 00:12:31,464 --> 00:12:33,815 How Berry nice to see you. 246 00:12:36,268 --> 00:12:38,987 Ah. God, this all looks so good. 247 00:12:39,055 --> 00:12:42,090 You know what? Surprise me. 248 00:12:42,158 --> 00:12:44,492 But, um, nothing with peanuts, 249 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:47,062 or my head will blow up bigger than yours. 250 00:12:52,818 --> 00:12:55,937 I think the, uh, ice cream cone kind of digs me. 251 00:12:56,005 --> 00:12:57,005 What? 252 00:12:57,073 --> 00:12:58,573 Yeah. You see the way she touched my arm? 253 00:12:58,641 --> 00:13:01,076 There's a definite vibe between us. 254 00:13:01,144 --> 00:13:03,811 You're gettin' a vibe from a giant ice cream cone? 255 00:13:03,879 --> 00:13:05,847 Shh, shh. Here she comes. 256 00:13:07,082 --> 00:13:08,617 Oh! 257 00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:11,436 Choco crunch. How did you know that was my favorite? 258 00:13:18,177 --> 00:13:22,413 Well, thank you very much. 259 00:13:40,866 --> 00:13:42,867 Welcome to goliath, 260 00:13:42,935 --> 00:13:46,704 145 seconds of white-knuckle fury. 261 00:13:46,772 --> 00:13:51,142 Please secure all sunglasses, cell phones 262 00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:53,511 and cameras. 263 00:13:53,578 --> 00:13:54,979 Enjoy the ride. 264 00:13:56,548 --> 00:13:59,850 You know, I thought I'd be nervous when I saw it again. 265 00:13:59,919 --> 00:14:02,353 But I guess when you're 25 years old, 266 00:14:02,421 --> 00:14:04,022 the whole world looks bigger. 267 00:14:04,089 --> 00:14:06,757 That's right, baby. 268 00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:10,761 Hey, if it isn't the heffernans. 269 00:14:10,829 --> 00:14:11,780 Hi, Mr. O'Boyle. 270 00:14:11,931 --> 00:14:13,598 What are you doing here? 271 00:14:13,665 --> 00:14:15,650 Well, I heard you and Palmer talking about it, 272 00:14:15,718 --> 00:14:17,652 so I figured I'd bring the boys. 273 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,154 You remember sanji, Patrick, Jr. 274 00:14:20,222 --> 00:14:22,273 A couple of lady-killers you got there, huh? 275 00:14:22,341 --> 00:14:23,958 They do all right. 276 00:14:24,026 --> 00:14:25,426 Anyway, I'm glad we bumped into you 277 00:14:25,495 --> 00:14:28,329 because I wanna say thank you for recommending Doug. 278 00:14:28,397 --> 00:14:30,164 He won't let you down. 279 00:14:30,232 --> 00:14:31,282 Recommended for what? 280 00:14:31,349 --> 00:14:32,450 Whoa. We're moving. The line's moving. 281 00:14:32,517 --> 00:14:33,568 Here we go. Keep it up. 282 00:14:33,636 --> 00:14:37,104 Let's go, folks. Keep it rollin'. I'll see you on Monday. 283 00:14:37,172 --> 00:14:38,490 Arthur, come on, man. 284 00:14:38,557 --> 00:14:40,458 I don't know why you couldn't have come in here yourself. 285 00:14:40,526 --> 00:14:41,626 Because if anyone sees me walking, 286 00:14:41,693 --> 00:14:43,128 we'll be thrown out on our ears. 287 00:14:43,195 --> 00:14:46,998 Fine. Just go ahead so we can hit the log flume. 288 00:14:47,065 --> 00:14:48,633 Oh. 289 00:14:50,085 --> 00:14:53,521 Bacon is in the pan. 290 00:14:53,589 --> 00:14:54,756 How you doing, sir? 291 00:14:54,823 --> 00:14:58,742 Fine, except for the fact my legs are utterly useless. 292 00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:02,513 I heard what you said before about being a veteran. And thank you. 293 00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:06,267 Well, coming from a fellow man in uniform, that means a lot. 294 00:15:10,456 --> 00:15:12,791 Ok, you're gonna have to carry me in there. 295 00:15:12,858 --> 00:15:15,660 What? I'm not doing that. Just wait for him to leave. 296 00:15:15,728 --> 00:15:17,979 That's not an option. 297 00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:21,016 Son... 298 00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,751 Look away. 299 00:15:26,856 --> 00:15:29,073 So let's head over to the kids zone. 300 00:15:29,141 --> 00:15:32,343 Maybe we could pick up some single moms. 301 00:15:32,411 --> 00:15:34,512 Are you even listening to me? 302 00:15:34,579 --> 00:15:36,047 I'm-I'm-I'm sorry. 303 00:15:36,115 --> 00:15:38,416 I just... I can't stop thinking about her. 304 00:15:38,483 --> 00:15:40,151 Who? The ice cream cone? 305 00:15:40,219 --> 00:15:41,936 Aw, man. You got to let that go. 306 00:15:42,004 --> 00:15:44,155 You're starting to creep me out here. 307 00:15:44,223 --> 00:15:45,339 I know this sounds crazy, 308 00:15:45,407 --> 00:15:47,809 but I think she may be the one. 309 00:15:47,877 --> 00:15:51,095 You know what else she might be? A dude. 310 00:15:51,163 --> 00:15:53,414 Oh, please. I think I know the feel of a man's touch, 311 00:15:53,482 --> 00:15:55,750 and this definitely wasn't it. 312 00:15:55,818 --> 00:15:58,036 Ok. Even if it is a girl, 313 00:15:58,103 --> 00:16:00,872 you got to figure they don't put the hot ones in a mask. 314 00:16:00,939 --> 00:16:03,541 None of that matters now. We had a connection. 315 00:16:03,608 --> 00:16:06,510 I'm not gonna let that slip through my fingers. I'm not. 316 00:16:08,397 --> 00:16:11,449 Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy, 317 00:16:11,516 --> 00:16:13,735 but from the moment I met you, 318 00:16:13,803 --> 00:16:16,537 I just feel like- 319 00:16:16,605 --> 00:16:19,207 wait. You're not her. You're chocolate. 320 00:16:19,275 --> 00:16:22,477 Where's the strawberry cone? 321 00:16:22,544 --> 00:16:24,111 Where is she? 322 00:16:52,074 --> 00:16:53,074 Welcome to goliath, 323 00:16:53,141 --> 00:16:55,376 145 seconds of white-knuckle fury. 324 00:16:55,444 --> 00:16:58,745 Please secure all cameras, sunglasses, and cell phones. 325 00:16:58,813 --> 00:16:59,947 Enjoy the ride. 326 00:17:00,014 --> 00:17:02,383 I'll secure my camera down his throat. 327 00:17:04,185 --> 00:17:05,586 Hey, you know what? 328 00:17:05,653 --> 00:17:07,588 Why don't we just go out and do something else? 329 00:17:07,655 --> 00:17:09,590 What? We've been in line for like 2 hours. 330 00:17:09,657 --> 00:17:11,658 Come on, baby. We got to conquer this fear. Ok? 331 00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:13,827 Even getting this far is a big step for me. 332 00:17:13,895 --> 00:17:16,897 Hey, let's go see how big I look in the house of mirrors. 333 00:17:16,965 --> 00:17:20,067 Hey, it's you guys again, huh? 334 00:17:20,135 --> 00:17:22,803 What were you thanking me about before? 335 00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:24,672 Oh. Um, I was thanking you 336 00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:27,090 for getting Doug into that management program. 337 00:17:27,158 --> 00:17:27,874 What? 338 00:17:27,976 --> 00:17:29,309 The line's moving again. 339 00:17:29,377 --> 00:17:31,111 Whoa. I'm sorry. She's all right. She's tough. 340 00:17:31,179 --> 00:17:32,513 Lady, keep moving. 341 00:17:32,581 --> 00:17:34,247 What is going on? 342 00:17:34,315 --> 00:17:36,917 I never signed up for the management program, ok? 343 00:17:36,985 --> 00:17:39,219 And you know why? 'Cause I like my life. 344 00:17:39,287 --> 00:17:40,470 What about your crisis? 345 00:17:40,538 --> 00:17:41,838 There was no crisis, ok? 346 00:17:41,906 --> 00:17:44,275 Deacon told me what you said, so I faked the whole thing. 347 00:17:44,342 --> 00:17:47,511 You faked it? I can't believe you. 348 00:17:47,579 --> 00:17:49,914 I can't believe you that you can't be happy that I'm happy. 349 00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,799 And why can't you want more for yourself? 350 00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:53,567 What more could I want, Carrie? 351 00:17:53,634 --> 00:17:56,236 I have a job that I like. I'm in love with a woman that I'm married to. 352 00:17:56,304 --> 00:17:57,737 Oh, shut up. 353 00:17:57,805 --> 00:18:00,157 I can't believe I got this stupid snake on my arm. 354 00:18:00,225 --> 00:18:02,425 Excuse me. There's a gap. 355 00:18:02,493 --> 00:18:05,679 Yeah. Excuse me. Who's gonna fill the gap in my life, ok? 356 00:18:05,747 --> 00:18:08,599 Step forward, please. 357 00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:11,836 All right, let's just ride this stupid thing and get home. 358 00:18:13,905 --> 00:18:15,906 What? Let's go. 359 00:18:17,225 --> 00:18:18,408 I can't. 360 00:18:18,476 --> 00:18:20,510 Oh, you can't. Another fake crisis? 361 00:18:20,578 --> 00:18:23,914 No, it's not a fake cris- I... I can't do it. 362 00:18:23,982 --> 00:18:27,484 Ok, Doug, you listen to me and listen to me good. 363 00:18:27,551 --> 00:18:29,453 I've given up my dreams of a better life 364 00:18:29,521 --> 00:18:33,791 because it turns out your only dream was to ride this stupid roller coaster. 365 00:18:33,858 --> 00:18:36,026 So you're gonna get your butt in that car 366 00:18:36,093 --> 00:18:38,194 because I am coming out of here with something. 367 00:18:49,524 --> 00:18:51,875 Let's go. What are you doing? 368 00:18:51,943 --> 00:18:55,111 You're doing this alone, babe. Good luck. 369 00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:09,793 Hello. 370 00:19:09,861 --> 00:19:11,361 Honey, in case I don't make it, 371 00:19:11,429 --> 00:19:12,863 I just want you to know I hate you. 372 00:19:13,832 --> 00:19:17,501 Aah! 373 00:19:26,011 --> 00:19:28,279 Wait. Stop. They're selling fudge over there. 374 00:19:28,346 --> 00:19:30,281 Arthur, you've already had like a pound of it. 375 00:19:30,348 --> 00:19:32,349 I wasn't supposed to give you chocolate in the first place. 376 00:19:32,417 --> 00:19:35,786 Unless you wanna wait 45 minutes to ride the bumper boats, 377 00:19:35,854 --> 00:19:37,788 I suggest you give me what I want. 378 00:19:37,856 --> 00:19:40,524 No, Arthur. I've already spent $100 on you. 379 00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:43,076 Cost of keeping a disabled war veteran happy, $100. 380 00:19:43,144 --> 00:19:45,896 Getting your son to the front of every line, priceless. 381 00:19:45,964 --> 00:19:47,448 Now, fudge me up! 382 00:19:47,516 --> 00:19:50,017 You know what? 383 00:19:50,084 --> 00:19:52,152 I'm through driving miss Daisy. 384 00:19:52,220 --> 00:19:53,837 Oh, really? 385 00:19:53,905 --> 00:19:57,641 Perhaps I should show that park employee over there... 386 00:19:57,709 --> 00:19:59,509 A miracle? 387 00:19:59,577 --> 00:20:01,378 Ohh. 388 00:20:01,445 --> 00:20:03,580 I'm calling your bluff, old man. 389 00:20:03,648 --> 00:20:04,731 I'll do it. 390 00:20:04,799 --> 00:20:06,333 You got a good thing going here. 391 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,269 Me wheeling you around, everyone fawning all over you. 392 00:20:09,337 --> 00:20:12,305 You're gonna blow all that for a lousy piece of fudge? 393 00:20:15,427 --> 00:20:17,160 Shame on you! 394 00:20:20,031 --> 00:20:22,849 So should we hit wet and wild? 395 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:25,185 Give me that sombrero. 396 00:20:28,206 --> 00:20:30,140 So the thing is... 397 00:20:30,208 --> 00:20:32,176 I'm working in the subway now, 398 00:20:32,243 --> 00:20:34,912 but I'd really like to be a writer. 399 00:20:34,979 --> 00:20:37,447 I think I have a novel in me. 400 00:20:37,515 --> 00:20:39,183 I... God. 401 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:41,719 I'm sorry. I'm just rambling. 402 00:20:45,924 --> 00:20:47,624 God, you're beautiful. 403 00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:53,563 Would it be ok if... if I kissed you? 404 00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:00,838 No, don't. 405 00:21:11,098 --> 00:21:13,883 So, uh, what time do you get off? 406 00:21:13,951 --> 00:21:16,002 I was thinking maybe we can go hit the beer garden 407 00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:18,138 over there in fantasy forest. 408 00:21:19,340 --> 00:21:21,408 That sounds great. 29916

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