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1
00:00:39,804 --> 00:00:41,371
What is it, baby?
2
00:00:41,439 --> 00:00:43,073
I love barbecue
shrimp.
3
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,075
I don't know why I ordered
the stuffed mushrooms.
4
00:00:45,142 --> 00:00:48,428
Uch, I knew this was gonna
come back to haunt us.
5
00:00:48,496 --> 00:00:52,048
I saw the word "stuffed"
and I just stopped breathing.
6
00:00:52,116 --> 00:00:54,868
What the hell?
7
00:00:57,154 --> 00:00:58,888
That guy over there
keeps staring at me.
8
00:00:58,956 --> 00:01:01,124
So? You like it
when guys stare at you.
9
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,792
Not all guys.
Like, Latino guys.
10
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:05,579
You know, young, sexy, beautiful smile.
11
00:01:05,646 --> 00:01:07,797
You know, fit
but still cut-
12
00:01:07,865 --> 00:01:09,633
yeah, not me.
Got it.
13
00:01:09,684 --> 00:01:11,401
He is staring
right at me.
14
00:01:11,469 --> 00:01:13,253
Go over there and
say something.
15
00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:16,790
You know, he's probably just
staring at these wine bottles.
16
00:01:16,858 --> 00:01:18,558
Look at him, he looks
like a real boozer.
17
00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:20,944
Can you just go over
there and say something?
18
00:01:21,011 --> 00:01:23,146
You're my husband! You're
supposed to protect me.
19
00:01:23,248 --> 00:01:25,632
Yeah, I never agreed to that. Just go.
20
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,274
Hi. Uh, listen,
21
00:01:34,342 --> 00:01:36,159
if you're staring at those
wine bottles over there,
22
00:01:36,227 --> 00:01:37,628
I completely understand, it's just that
23
00:01:37,695 --> 00:01:39,646
they're right near my wife's
head and she gets confused,
24
00:01:39,797 --> 00:01:41,498
she thinks you're
staring at her, so-
25
00:01:41,566 --> 00:01:44,134
actually, I was
looking at your wife.
26
00:01:45,019 --> 00:01:47,036
Oh.
27
00:01:47,055 --> 00:01:49,789
Are you interested in making
a substantial amount of money?
28
00:01:53,627 --> 00:01:56,279
I'm listening.
29
00:01:56,347 --> 00:01:58,248
My name's Edward brill.
30
00:01:58,316 --> 00:02:00,016
I'm in the wig business.
31
00:02:00,034 --> 00:02:03,870
And we pay quite handsomely for
quality hair like your wife's.
32
00:02:06,241 --> 00:02:08,808
What are we
talking here?
33
00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:11,111
Well, depending on how much
she's willing to cut...
34
00:02:11,178 --> 00:02:12,946
$2,000 to $3,000.
35
00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:15,032
Wow.
36
00:02:15,099 --> 00:02:17,300
Think about it.
I will.
37
00:02:17,368 --> 00:02:19,319
I see you got the barbecue shrimp.
38
00:02:19,387 --> 00:02:21,488
Please!
Help yourself.
39
00:02:21,556 --> 00:02:24,724
Oh. Thank you.
40
00:02:29,764 --> 00:02:31,098
Hey, babe.
41
00:02:31,165 --> 00:02:32,916
Hi, honey.
42
00:02:34,419 --> 00:02:36,553
You have such
beautiful hair.
43
00:02:36,621 --> 00:02:38,555
Tell ya, I don't know
what sheen is, but...
44
00:02:38,623 --> 00:02:40,457
You got it.
45
00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:41,825
Aw. That's really sweet, baby.
46
00:02:41,892 --> 00:02:43,193
Thank you.
47
00:02:47,181 --> 00:02:48,314
What was that?
48
00:02:48,382 --> 00:02:49,816
What was what?
49
00:02:50,852 --> 00:02:52,052
You barely brushed
your hair.
50
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,353
You're supposed to do,
like, 100 strokes a night.
51
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:54,587
Where'd you
hear that?
52
00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:57,490
Uh, one miss marcia
Brady. Come here. Look it.
53
00:02:57,558 --> 00:03:00,927
1, 2, 3-
54
00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:02,328
actually, that feels
kinda nice.
55
00:03:02,396 --> 00:03:06,967
Of course it does.
4, 5, 6-
56
00:03:07,034 --> 00:03:08,852
you know what I was thinking? Hm.
57
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,103
You...
58
00:03:10,171 --> 00:03:12,272
Would look
really good...
59
00:03:12,339 --> 00:03:13,974
With short hair.
60
00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:17,710
What are you saying? You just
said you loved my long hair.
61
00:03:17,729 --> 00:03:19,646
Yeah, I know, but-
62
00:03:19,713 --> 00:03:21,581
if you love something,
you know the saying,
63
00:03:21,649 --> 00:03:23,817
you gotta
"set it free"!
64
00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:25,485
What?
65
00:03:25,552 --> 00:03:27,387
Ahem. You know what? Just
thinking out loud here-
66
00:03:27,454 --> 00:03:29,990
when we do cut it, we should
put it in a bag and sell it.
67
00:03:30,057 --> 00:03:32,192
35, 36.
Stop.
68
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:34,144
What? What are you
talking about?
69
00:03:34,212 --> 00:03:36,646
All right, look, the guy tonight
at the restaurant was a wig maker.
70
00:03:36,714 --> 00:03:39,950
All right? He says you have beautiful
hair we can make a ton of money off!
71
00:03:40,051 --> 00:03:42,202
You want me to
sell my hair?
72
00:03:42,269 --> 00:03:45,021
Look. I know it sounds weird,
but he's talking, like, $3,000.
73
00:03:45,089 --> 00:03:46,539
I really don't care!
74
00:03:46,607 --> 00:03:48,075
Well, Carrie, cou-
75
00:03:48,142 --> 00:03:50,877
just think about it
for a minute, ok?
76
00:03:50,945 --> 00:03:52,729
First of all, we could
really use that money,
77
00:03:52,814 --> 00:03:54,947
and, bonus, we could
be helping other people.
78
00:03:55,015 --> 00:03:56,416
People who aren't
blessed with your
79
00:03:56,484 --> 00:03:58,451
thick, beautiful
long hair.
80
00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:02,239
Actually, it would be
nice to-to give back.
81
00:04:02,273 --> 00:04:03,890
There you go!
82
00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:06,143
So $3,000, huh?
Yes.
83
00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:07,910
And the best part about
it is a year from now...
84
00:04:07,978 --> 00:04:09,879
You'll have a full head
of hair again, bang, $3,000
85
00:04:09,947 --> 00:04:11,114
in the pocket again.
86
00:04:11,249 --> 00:04:13,900
We could do a lot
with that money, right?
87
00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:15,652
We can get that pizza oven
I've been talking about.
88
00:04:15,719 --> 00:04:20,624
Or, more, we can go on that
cruise with Deacon and Kelly!
89
00:04:20,691 --> 00:04:22,358
Better yet, when
they come back,
90
00:04:22,426 --> 00:04:23,893
we throw 'em
a pizza party!
91
00:04:25,246 --> 00:04:26,446
Fine. Next batch,
I got dibs on.
92
00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:37,591
What do you think?
93
00:04:39,927 --> 00:04:41,228
Wow.
94
00:04:45,049 --> 00:04:46,449
Look at you!
95
00:04:46,517 --> 00:04:48,184
So it's good?
96
00:04:48,252 --> 00:04:49,886
Look at you.
97
00:04:49,904 --> 00:04:52,305
I know!
98
00:04:54,308 --> 00:04:56,693
Look at you.
Mm.
99
00:05:12,741 --> 00:05:16,345
Hey, mon, you ready for
some island-hopping?
100
00:05:16,412 --> 00:05:18,613
I should have never let
him watch "cool runnings."
101
00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:21,816
Where's Carrie?
102
00:05:21,884 --> 00:05:25,270
Uh, she's upstairs
working her comb-over.
103
00:05:26,639 --> 00:05:28,072
Haircut not so good?
104
00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:30,909
You know moe, from
the "three stooges"?
105
00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:33,345
I'd kill for that.
106
00:05:34,698 --> 00:05:36,915
Ta-da!
107
00:05:38,183 --> 00:05:39,968
So, what
do you think?
108
00:05:40,036 --> 00:05:41,753
It's really,
really...
109
00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:42,921
Sassy?
Yes!
110
00:05:42,988 --> 00:05:44,189
I know!
111
00:05:44,257 --> 00:05:46,024
That's what the
stylist said!
112
00:05:46,092 --> 00:05:47,876
And you know, it's so easy to manage.
113
00:05:47,943 --> 00:05:50,312
I mean, my hair dries
faster than his now.
114
00:05:50,380 --> 00:05:54,216
That's true,
it does, it does. Faster.
115
00:05:54,283 --> 00:05:55,650
You know what? I'm gonna
go say good bye to my dad.
116
00:05:55,718 --> 00:05:57,920
Why don't you guys load
up the bags in the car, ok?
117
00:05:57,987 --> 00:05:59,070
Oh, honey.
118
00:05:59,138 --> 00:06:01,590
Tell them how I got
carded at the liquor store.
119
00:06:01,657 --> 00:06:04,693
Oh.
Yeah. Yeah.
120
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,929
She did. 'Cause "she
looks like a weird boy".
121
00:06:12,669 --> 00:06:14,787
Oh, hey. We're
leaving now.
122
00:06:14,854 --> 00:06:16,839
Who the hell
are you?
123
00:06:26,382 --> 00:06:28,417
I got
my hair cut, dad.
124
00:06:28,484 --> 00:06:32,604
Anyway, we'll be back on
Sunday. I made you lasagna.
125
00:06:32,672 --> 00:06:35,206
I'm gonna put it in the oven
so you can have it for lunch.
126
00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:38,309
With your hair cut short like that,
you know who you look exactly like?
127
00:06:39,078 --> 00:06:40,929
Halle Berry?
128
00:06:40,996 --> 00:06:43,999
Frank medford.
129
00:06:45,301 --> 00:06:46,835
Ok.
130
00:06:48,838 --> 00:06:50,773
He rented a room from
your mom and I
131
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,608
when we first got married. Oh, yeah?
132
00:06:52,675 --> 00:06:55,009
He was always
very nice to your mother.
133
00:06:55,078 --> 00:06:56,144
He...
134
00:06:56,212 --> 00:06:58,880
Looked after her when
I was away on business.
135
00:06:58,948 --> 00:07:03,751
He moved out rather abruptly around
the time she got pregnant with you.
136
00:07:03,819 --> 00:07:06,804
Ok, daddy.
I love you.
137
00:07:06,872 --> 00:07:08,924
I'll call you
from the boat.
138
00:07:12,161 --> 00:07:14,096
Oh, dear God.
139
00:07:39,706 --> 00:07:43,024
How great is this? We're halfway
to Barbados with our best friends,
140
00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:45,393
we have Robert
goulet singing to us.
141
00:07:45,461 --> 00:07:48,330
I mean, what else
can you ask for?
142
00:07:48,397 --> 00:07:49,831
Not a thing.
143
00:08:11,688 --> 00:08:14,406
What, deac? You
wanna cut in?
144
00:08:15,775 --> 00:08:18,610
Dancin' with my wife,
but hey, what the heck.
145
00:08:18,677 --> 00:08:22,480
Let's mix it up!
Swapsie!
146
00:08:27,269 --> 00:08:28,737
Hey. Hey, all right.
147
00:08:28,805 --> 00:08:30,839
Let's see what
you got, big boy.
148
00:08:30,907 --> 00:08:31,874
Right.
149
00:08:46,088 --> 00:08:47,672
Hey, Arthur.
150
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:49,491
You're late!
Late?
151
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,878
You told me 10 minutes ago and
told me to be here in 10 minutes.
152
00:08:52,946 --> 00:08:55,647
Let's not waste more time
with your pathetic excuses!
153
00:08:55,714 --> 00:08:57,399
Ok. What's going on?
154
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,684
You see that man in there?... Yeah.
155
00:08:59,752 --> 00:09:03,639
I have reason to believe he
may be Carrie's real father.
156
00:09:03,706 --> 00:09:05,707
What are you
talking about?
157
00:09:05,775 --> 00:09:07,175
It's a long story.
158
00:09:07,243 --> 00:09:09,344
Actually, it's
pretty short.
159
00:09:10,713 --> 00:09:13,682
I think he boinked
Carrie's mother.
160
00:09:15,618 --> 00:09:18,420
If there was only some way
I could know for sure.
161
00:09:18,488 --> 00:09:20,138
Well, you could do
a DNA test.
162
00:09:20,205 --> 00:09:22,974
You send in some of her
hair, some of his hair,
163
00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:24,776
you'd know in
a couple of days.
164
00:09:24,844 --> 00:09:25,927
How am I gonna
get his hair?
165
00:09:25,995 --> 00:09:27,595
It doesn't have to
be hair. It can be...
166
00:09:27,663 --> 00:09:29,497
Saliva, or a
skin sample.
167
00:09:29,565 --> 00:09:30,432
Skin sample, huh?
168
00:09:30,499 --> 00:09:32,050
I'll be right back.
169
00:09:34,336 --> 00:09:35,604
Hey, Frank!
170
00:09:35,671 --> 00:09:38,840
How 'bout we catch up with a
good old-fashioned scratch-fight?
171
00:09:39,826 --> 00:09:41,443
What?
You know.
172
00:09:41,511 --> 00:09:44,012
A scratch-fight. Like we used
to have back in the neighborhood.
173
00:09:44,079 --> 00:09:45,614
You know, just
for kicks.
174
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:49,751
What the hell is
going on here, Artie?
175
00:09:49,819 --> 00:09:51,853
You call me up
out of the blue,
176
00:09:51,921 --> 00:09:54,940
you invite me over here
for crab legs,
177
00:09:55,007 --> 00:09:57,308
and instead,
all I get is tap water-
178
00:09:57,376 --> 00:09:58,743
you're absolutely
right, Frank.
179
00:09:58,811 --> 00:10:03,114
Allow me to apologize by
swabbing the inside of your mouth.
180
00:10:04,349 --> 00:10:06,517
Ok. I'm outta here!
181
00:10:06,585 --> 00:10:07,936
So soon? Wait!
182
00:10:08,004 --> 00:10:10,638
You have something in your hair. What?
183
00:10:10,706 --> 00:10:11,906
Ow!
184
00:10:11,974 --> 00:10:14,742
Turns out it's just
a clump of your hair.
185
00:10:25,337 --> 00:10:27,806
How beautiful
is this?
186
00:10:27,874 --> 00:10:30,108
Yeah. It's
beautiful. Just...
187
00:10:30,176 --> 00:10:33,078
A little chilly, isn't
it? Here, let me help.
188
00:10:33,146 --> 00:10:35,063
Let me help you with
this right there.
189
00:10:35,131 --> 00:10:37,833
Stop! No, honey.
Come on.
190
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:40,669
I actually like the wind
on my scalp, you know?
191
00:10:40,737 --> 00:10:42,103
Feels good.
192
00:10:42,171 --> 00:10:44,155
Ok. What's the matter?
193
00:10:44,223 --> 00:10:46,224
Nah. I over-buffeted. Oh.
194
00:10:48,494 --> 00:10:50,762
Oh, look, it's Robert goulet! Where?
195
00:10:50,829 --> 00:10:51,763
Where?
196
00:10:51,831 --> 00:10:54,632
I'm sleeping
with his wife.
197
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,868
We loved your
show tonight.
198
00:10:56,936 --> 00:10:59,404
Yeah, and I usually hate
that kind of crap.
199
00:10:59,472 --> 00:11:02,190
Isn't that sweet?
200
00:11:02,257 --> 00:11:04,492
Actually, would you mind if
we took a picture with you?
201
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:08,830
No, as long as he likes my
crappy music, why not?
202
00:11:08,897 --> 00:11:13,001
I'm just gonna go get the
camera. I'll be right back, ok?
203
00:11:13,068 --> 00:11:14,503
Boy, that is...
204
00:11:14,570 --> 00:11:17,706
Wild hair.
205
00:11:17,773 --> 00:11:19,474
I just thought she'd look
cute with short hair, you know?
206
00:11:19,542 --> 00:11:20,975
Like Jamie
Lee Curtis.
207
00:11:21,043 --> 00:11:24,813
Oh, Jamie Lee. I love her. We
did a "muppet" special together.
208
00:11:24,881 --> 00:11:29,250
She sang a haunting duet
with fozzie bear.
209
00:11:29,318 --> 00:11:31,837
Oh, wait. I have my
camera right here.
210
00:11:38,594 --> 00:11:40,629
Hey.
Hey.
211
00:11:40,697 --> 00:11:42,030
What were you doing?
212
00:11:42,098 --> 00:11:44,699
Nothing, I'm just sitting here
talking to Mr. Robert goulet.
213
00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:47,101
Can you believe it?
Pinch me! Now! Pinch me!
214
00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:48,703
That's crazy.
215
00:11:48,771 --> 00:11:50,755
Were you talking
about my hair?
216
00:11:50,823 --> 00:11:52,440
No! No.
217
00:11:52,508 --> 00:11:54,326
Was he making fun
of my hair?
218
00:11:54,393 --> 00:11:57,478
Look, I'm in a hurry. I've gotta
call bingo in the barracuda lounge.
219
00:11:57,546 --> 00:11:59,314
Yeah, you're not going
anywhere, show-tunes.
220
00:11:59,382 --> 00:12:02,217
Was he making fun of
my hair or not? Was he?
221
00:12:02,284 --> 00:12:05,520
He says you look
like Pete rose.
222
00:12:09,025 --> 00:12:10,725
Pete rose? He's the all-time...
223
00:12:10,793 --> 00:12:12,427
Hits leader!
He's-
224
00:12:13,846 --> 00:12:16,898
oh, buddy.
I'm sorry. Look.
225
00:12:16,966 --> 00:12:19,868
Drinks half price at
my late show, ok? See ya.
226
00:12:26,225 --> 00:12:28,292
Carrie,
what're you doing?
227
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,944
I'm leaving.
228
00:12:30,012 --> 00:12:32,647
You do realize
we're on a boat.
229
00:12:32,715 --> 00:12:36,084
Then I will swim. I have
the perfect hair for it.
230
00:12:36,152 --> 00:12:39,971
Come on! I saw you and
Robert goulet laughing
231
00:12:40,005 --> 00:12:42,173
at how bad
my hair looks.
232
00:12:42,241 --> 00:12:44,426
We weren't laughing at how bad your
hair looks. We were laughing with...
233
00:12:44,493 --> 00:12:46,294
How bad you hair looks.
234
00:12:46,362 --> 00:12:48,463
I can't believe I
convinced myself
235
00:12:48,531 --> 00:12:50,631
that this looked
stylish and sassy.
236
00:12:50,699 --> 00:12:53,301
I look like
a mental patient!
237
00:12:53,369 --> 00:12:54,869
I know. It's hard. Get off me!
238
00:12:54,937 --> 00:12:56,705
Don't touch me!
239
00:12:56,773 --> 00:12:58,540
You know how
humiliated I am?
240
00:12:58,608 --> 00:13:00,742
And you talked me
into this!
241
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:02,060
I didn't know it was
gonna look so bad.
242
00:13:02,128 --> 00:13:03,962
Here's the thing. Your
hair's gonna grow back
243
00:13:04,029 --> 00:13:06,097
and you never have
to do this again.
244
00:13:06,165 --> 00:13:08,632
Actually, one more time, 'cause
the pizza oven was part of the deal.
245
00:13:10,002 --> 00:13:12,603
Aaah!
246
00:13:12,671 --> 00:13:15,207
Look, we made a mistake,
what do you want me to do?
247
00:13:15,274 --> 00:13:17,375
Shave your head.
248
00:13:18,161 --> 00:13:19,244
I'm not shaving
my head.
249
00:13:19,311 --> 00:13:21,763
Well, shave
something, babe.
250
00:13:21,831 --> 00:13:23,131
Yeah. That's right.
251
00:13:23,199 --> 00:13:25,033
How about that weird
patch on your back?
252
00:13:25,134 --> 00:13:26,751
Oh. No.
I need that.
253
00:13:30,489 --> 00:13:32,357
We can still have a
good time, all right?
254
00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:34,593
Why don't you.
- here. Throw this scarf on,
255
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:38,029
and we'll go meet Deacon and
Kelly at the midnight buffet.
256
00:13:38,147 --> 00:13:40,816
I'm not going anywhere
until my hair grows back.
257
00:13:42,885 --> 00:13:45,053
What are you saying? We're
gonna stay here in the cabin
258
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,354
for the rest
of the cruise?
259
00:13:46,422 --> 00:13:48,072
Not we.
260
00:13:54,463 --> 00:13:56,498
You guys got
an extra pillow?
261
00:13:58,984 --> 00:14:00,802
Just askin'.
262
00:14:09,061 --> 00:14:10,728
Mmhm.
263
00:14:18,086 --> 00:14:19,537
Hey.
264
00:14:23,409 --> 00:14:26,644
What the hell
are you doing?
265
00:14:26,712 --> 00:14:28,846
I'm sorry.
It was cold, all right?
266
00:14:28,914 --> 00:14:30,914
Where's Kelly?
267
00:14:30,982 --> 00:14:33,567
She left. She got pretty
freaked out when I got into bed.
268
00:14:33,635 --> 00:14:35,336
Oh, man!
269
00:14:35,404 --> 00:14:37,005
I've really been looking
forward to this trip.
270
00:14:37,072 --> 00:14:39,808
Now I'm stuck in bed with
you instead of my wife.
271
00:14:39,875 --> 00:14:41,292
Women.
272
00:14:43,462 --> 00:14:47,865
Sometimes it's like no matter what we
do, it just isn't good enough for them.
273
00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:49,133
Don't lump us
together.
274
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,769
I saved up money for
6 months for this trip.
275
00:14:51,837 --> 00:14:54,305
You sold your wife
for parts.
276
00:14:54,372 --> 00:14:56,373
I'm sorry. What am I
supposed to do?
277
00:14:56,442 --> 00:14:58,743
I don't know, but I got two more
days on this boat without my kids
278
00:14:58,811 --> 00:15:02,112
and I plan on gettin'
lucky, and not with you.
279
00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:05,115
Well, just for that
the candy shop is closed.
280
00:15:07,453 --> 00:15:09,253
Quit hogging
the blanket.
281
00:15:11,657 --> 00:15:14,625
There's gotta be some way
I can make this better.
282
00:15:14,693 --> 00:15:16,561
Buy her a hat, or...
283
00:15:16,628 --> 00:15:18,195
A helmet.
284
00:15:19,265 --> 00:15:20,665
How about a wig?
285
00:15:20,733 --> 00:15:24,001
Ok, where am I gonna get
her a wig on a cruise ship?
286
00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:25,702
Where were you gonna
get a helmet, idiot?
287
00:15:27,506 --> 00:15:30,074
Well, now I see why
Kelly left. I really do.
288
00:15:36,081 --> 00:15:37,581
Ok. Shhhh. You
gotta be fast.
289
00:15:37,650 --> 00:15:38,683
Ok.
290
00:15:38,751 --> 00:15:42,053
Look, I really appreciate
this, Mr. goulet.
291
00:15:42,121 --> 00:15:43,404
Ok. Lock up
on your way out.
292
00:15:43,472 --> 00:15:44,405
Ok.
293
00:15:44,473 --> 00:15:45,440
All right.
294
00:15:45,507 --> 00:15:47,041
Let's do this and
get out of here.
295
00:15:47,109 --> 00:15:49,377
Where's the wigs?
Where's the wigs?
296
00:15:49,445 --> 00:15:50,945
Look at this stuff.
297
00:15:52,097 --> 00:15:55,132
Hey, man. How would
I look if I wore this?
298
00:15:56,718 --> 00:15:58,836
Looks like you ate
Elton John.
299
00:16:01,139 --> 00:16:01,822
Come on.
300
00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:03,741
Here we are!
Look at this!
301
00:16:03,808 --> 00:16:05,376
All right.
302
00:16:05,444 --> 00:16:08,045
What do you
think?
303
00:16:08,113 --> 00:16:09,347
This one
is nice.
304
00:16:09,414 --> 00:16:11,315
All right, well, put it on. What?
305
00:16:11,383 --> 00:16:12,950
I'm not doing that.
306
00:16:13,018 --> 00:16:15,052
That's why I brought you here,
so I could see it on someone.
307
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,422
Trust me, any wig I put on
I'm gonna look like Rick James.
308
00:16:21,393 --> 00:16:23,494
I got an idea.
309
00:16:24,930 --> 00:16:26,063
What are you doing?
310
00:16:26,131 --> 00:16:27,548
I'm drawing her face.
311
00:16:30,669 --> 00:16:31,736
All right.
312
00:16:31,803 --> 00:16:33,404
How does that look?
313
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:38,425
I don't know. It doesn't
look much like Carrie.
314
00:16:39,244 --> 00:16:40,494
Oh.
315
00:16:44,799 --> 00:16:47,968
Now look.
How does that look?
316
00:16:48,036 --> 00:16:51,138
There she is. Yeah.
Yeah.
317
00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:57,127
So?
318
00:16:57,195 --> 00:16:58,796
What are
the results?
319
00:16:58,864 --> 00:17:02,383
I don't know, Spence. I've
been too nervous to open it.
320
00:17:02,451 --> 00:17:03,618
Do you want me
to look?
321
00:17:03,702 --> 00:17:05,269
No, I should
do this.
322
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,882
According to this,
the father is...
323
00:17:19,818 --> 00:17:21,351
Spence olchin.
324
00:17:21,419 --> 00:17:23,554
What?!
325
00:17:23,622 --> 00:17:25,723
You bastard!
326
00:17:25,791 --> 00:17:28,993
There must be some mistake. Yeah!
327
00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:31,111
The mistake was letting
you anywhere near my wife!
328
00:17:31,179 --> 00:17:33,614
I've never met
your wife
329
00:17:33,682 --> 00:17:35,183
and I'm only 2 years older than Carrie.
330
00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:38,068
Oh, look at you,
you're 50 if you're a day!
331
00:17:40,222 --> 00:17:43,824
Ok, Arthur, the reason my name
is on this is because I'm the one
332
00:17:43,892 --> 00:17:45,193
who paid for the test!
333
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:49,564
For reasons I still
don't understand. Yup.
334
00:17:49,631 --> 00:17:51,332
Well, you wiggled outta
that one pretty good.
335
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,734
See? It says right here,
336
00:17:53,802 --> 00:17:55,969
"Frank medford
not a match."
337
00:17:56,037 --> 00:17:57,971
You're Carrie's father.
338
00:17:58,039 --> 00:17:59,657
Well, that's
pretty anticlimactic.
339
00:17:59,725 --> 00:18:02,143
I'm gonna grab a nap.
340
00:18:10,802 --> 00:18:14,004
Hey, look who found himself
a high-class hooker, huh?
341
00:18:15,373 --> 00:18:16,840
Hey.
342
00:18:16,908 --> 00:18:19,493
Girl, you look amazing. Damn.
343
00:18:19,561 --> 00:18:22,346
Damn? Now, do you mean that? 'Cause
you said you liked my short hair.
344
00:18:22,414 --> 00:18:24,714
No, no, no. That was
scary. You're good now.
345
00:18:24,782 --> 00:18:28,402
Oh, yeah? 'Cause I kinda feel
like a Charlie's angel, you know?
346
00:18:28,469 --> 00:18:31,104
Freeze!
347
00:18:31,172 --> 00:18:33,140
How great is this, man?
Isn't it fun?
348
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:34,908
Look at us. We're all
hanging out. We got good hair.
349
00:18:34,976 --> 00:18:38,345
We're just chillin'. It's awesome,
man. Don't get better than this.
350
00:18:40,165 --> 00:18:41,532
What are you looking at?
You got a problem?
351
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,869
No, no. I just.
- I wanted to ask you if you wanted to dance.
352
00:18:46,688 --> 00:18:48,071
Oh.
353
00:18:49,874 --> 00:18:51,008
Do you mind, honey?
354
00:18:51,059 --> 00:18:52,292
Kiddin' me? You're
doin' me a solid.
355
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,778
I have the wrong underwear
on for dancing.
356
00:18:56,097 --> 00:18:57,798
Thank you.
357
00:19:19,688 --> 00:19:20,688
Hey. There
you are.
358
00:19:20,755 --> 00:19:22,289
Thought we were
gonna dance.
359
00:19:22,356 --> 00:19:24,357
Oh, you're finally
done with paco?
360
00:19:24,425 --> 00:19:27,761
Ugh. I'm all yours
now, baby.
361
00:19:27,829 --> 00:19:30,514
God, you smell
like old spice.
362
00:19:31,983 --> 00:19:34,484
That's sweet.
You're jealous!
363
00:19:34,552 --> 00:19:36,170
I'm not
jealous.
364
00:19:36,237 --> 00:19:38,439
Aw, Dougie-wougie,
he's jealous! Stop it!
365
00:19:38,506 --> 00:19:39,773
What is wrong
with you?
366
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,208
When I looked horrible
you didn't like it,
367
00:19:41,276 --> 00:19:43,611
now I look fantastic
and you don't like it.
368
00:19:43,678 --> 00:19:45,946
I wouldn't say "fantastic." Oh.
369
00:19:46,014 --> 00:19:49,066
Really? That's interesting,
because there's a whole shipload
370
00:19:49,134 --> 00:19:50,667
of cabin boys that think
I'm pretty sexy, so
371
00:19:50,735 --> 00:19:51,868
nighty night.
Yeah?
372
00:19:51,953 --> 00:19:53,737
Well try it without
your little friend. Yeah!
373
00:19:53,804 --> 00:19:55,138
Doug! Give that to me! No!
374
00:19:55,206 --> 00:19:56,323
No, the wig's mine now.
375
00:19:56,390 --> 00:19:59,426
Yeah, so go hit
the dance floor, cue ball.
376
00:20:00,495 --> 00:20:01,811
Come on, you're
being a jerk.
377
00:20:01,879 --> 00:20:03,680
No way. No. You know what?
It's my turn maybe.
378
00:20:03,748 --> 00:20:05,382
'Cause it's
dirty dancin' time
379
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:09,220
and guess what?
Baby just showed up.
380
00:20:16,144 --> 00:20:19,162
You could've told me
it was for you.
381
00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:20,264
I would've understood.
382
00:20:26,237 --> 00:20:27,670
What the hell
are we doing here?
383
00:20:27,738 --> 00:20:29,623
I don't know,
honey.
384
00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:30,857
Look.
385
00:20:32,093 --> 00:20:34,661
I'm sorry about
everything, all right?
386
00:20:35,796 --> 00:20:38,265
I'm sorry too.
387
00:20:49,594 --> 00:20:52,396
It's beautiful
tonight, isn't it?
388
00:20:52,464 --> 00:20:53,997
It is.
389
00:20:55,533 --> 00:20:57,318
Yeah.
390
00:21:02,373 --> 00:21:04,474
Come on, honey!
I'm waiting!
391
00:21:04,542 --> 00:21:07,377
Ugh. I really
don't wanna do this.
392
00:21:07,445 --> 00:21:09,279
You promised.
393
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:15,769
Let's hear it.
28149
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