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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,847 --> 00:00:18,281 Oh. Here's some seats right here, honey. 2 00:00:18,349 --> 00:00:19,716 Slow down. I see four down there. 3 00:00:19,784 --> 00:00:21,518 You gonna sit in the front row? 4 00:00:21,585 --> 00:00:24,354 Sure. I like to stretch out my legs and unbutton a little. 5 00:00:27,024 --> 00:00:28,124 You're sittin' with him? 6 00:00:28,192 --> 00:00:29,526 He's got my goobers. 7 00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,795 Why didn't we send him in to chicken little 8 00:00:31,863 --> 00:00:33,262 like I wanted? Uh... 9 00:00:33,330 --> 00:00:35,949 Because cartoon chickens give my father nightmares. 10 00:00:36,016 --> 00:00:37,450 Where've you been? 11 00:00:38,702 --> 00:00:41,204 Oh, look. It's father melley. 12 00:00:41,272 --> 00:00:43,306 Oh, great. We haven't been to church 13 00:00:43,374 --> 00:00:44,440 in a really long time, and now 14 00:00:44,508 --> 00:00:46,342 he spots us at a farrelly brothers movie? 15 00:00:47,111 --> 00:00:48,527 Doug? Carrie! 16 00:00:48,595 --> 00:00:49,279 Oh, hey! Hey! 17 00:00:49,347 --> 00:00:50,664 What a surprise! Father melley! 18 00:00:50,731 --> 00:00:52,298 Is this seat open? 19 00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:54,667 Sure! Yeah! 20 00:00:54,735 --> 00:00:55,835 Yeah. Sure. Absolutely. 21 00:00:55,903 --> 00:00:57,437 Excuse me. Ok. 22 00:00:59,056 --> 00:01:01,324 And that was Irving Berlin's white Christmas, 23 00:01:01,392 --> 00:01:04,327 the highest-grossing Christmas song of all time. 24 00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:07,163 Hmm. 25 00:01:07,231 --> 00:01:08,297 What? 26 00:01:09,367 --> 00:01:11,100 You write one hokey holiday song, 27 00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:12,736 and you're set for life. 28 00:01:12,803 --> 00:01:16,506 Actually, Irving Berlin wrote over 1,200 songs. 29 00:01:16,574 --> 00:01:18,574 Oh, why don't you just marry him? 30 00:01:18,642 --> 00:01:19,843 What's your problem? 31 00:01:19,911 --> 00:01:21,244 I got no problem. 32 00:01:21,311 --> 00:01:22,378 I'm saying we should write our own song 33 00:01:22,446 --> 00:01:24,347 and cash in on this Christmas thing. 34 00:01:24,415 --> 00:01:25,515 You're serious? 35 00:01:25,583 --> 00:01:27,851 Why not? I'll handle the lyrics, 36 00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:30,120 and you seem like the type that can write music. 37 00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:31,571 What's that supposed to mean? 38 00:01:31,639 --> 00:01:32,855 I think you know what it means, 39 00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:35,208 Mr. I-just-haven't- found-the-right-girl. 40 00:01:37,978 --> 00:01:39,662 What do you got goin' on this holiday season? 41 00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:43,249 Oh, well, I am up to my eyeballs in preparations. 42 00:01:43,317 --> 00:01:46,552 There's a toy drive, bake sale, our outreach programs. 43 00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:48,822 But the lord has blessed me with congregants 44 00:01:48,889 --> 00:01:52,058 who are kind and generous enough to donate their time. 45 00:01:55,345 --> 00:01:57,197 Of course, with everything bein' so busy, 46 00:01:57,265 --> 00:01:59,266 we could always use a little more help. 47 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:00,500 So if you guys... 48 00:02:00,568 --> 00:02:02,485 Oh, shhhhh. 49 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,780 So if you two'd be willing 50 00:02:14,848 --> 00:02:16,766 to pitch in, that'd be great. 51 00:02:26,326 --> 00:02:27,460 Oh, hey, babe. Hey. 52 00:02:27,528 --> 00:02:28,461 Where you goin'? 53 00:02:28,529 --> 00:02:29,529 Oh, father melley called. 54 00:02:29,597 --> 00:02:31,297 I got manger duty. 55 00:02:31,365 --> 00:02:32,599 What's that? 56 00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,668 I gotta guard the nativity scene down at the church. 57 00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:36,803 Apparently last year the whole thing was vandalized, 58 00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:38,438 and there was myrrh everywhere. 59 00:02:40,007 --> 00:02:41,658 I think I'm gettin' sick. Feel my head. 60 00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:44,961 D - Doug, come on. You are not sick, honey. 61 00:02:45,029 --> 00:02:46,529 We got roped in. Suck it up. 62 00:02:46,597 --> 00:02:48,181 I have to make something for the bake sale. 63 00:02:48,248 --> 00:02:50,316 You don't hear me complaining. 64 00:02:50,384 --> 00:02:51,784 Ok, you get to work indoors with cake batter, 65 00:02:51,852 --> 00:02:53,536 so don't even. Ok? 66 00:03:02,013 --> 00:03:04,847 What rhymes with "poinsettia"? 67 00:03:04,915 --> 00:03:07,233 Ooh. That's... not an easy word to rhyme. 68 00:03:07,301 --> 00:03:08,601 Damn it, I just had it. 69 00:03:08,669 --> 00:03:11,520 Don't speak unless you're spoken to. 70 00:03:11,588 --> 00:03:13,339 You did just speak to me. You asked me what rhy- 71 00:03:13,407 --> 00:03:15,458 I lost it again! You are impossible! 72 00:03:17,061 --> 00:03:17,911 Stop yelling at me! 73 00:03:18,062 --> 00:03:20,196 I can't create in a hostile environment! 74 00:03:20,264 --> 00:03:23,432 Well, I wouldn't be so hostile if you had one ounce of talent! 75 00:03:24,318 --> 00:03:26,903 You kick me again, I'm leaving. 76 00:03:26,971 --> 00:03:29,823 I'm sorry, son. It's just the choir down at the mall 77 00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:31,658 is supposed to debut our song tomorrow, 78 00:03:31,725 --> 00:03:32,992 and we haven't got diddly. 79 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:35,428 Believe me, I want this as bad as you. Ok? 80 00:03:35,496 --> 00:03:36,896 I mean, I work in the subway 81 00:03:36,964 --> 00:03:39,065 and share a tiny apartment with another man, 82 00:03:39,132 --> 00:03:41,968 and... I really want calf implants. 83 00:03:42,035 --> 00:03:44,203 I mean... This is my ticket. 84 00:03:44,271 --> 00:03:45,455 Your calves are spindly. 85 00:03:45,523 --> 00:03:47,424 Ok, you know what? Let's... 86 00:03:47,491 --> 00:03:49,125 Back off "poinsettia," and-and let's focus 87 00:03:49,193 --> 00:03:50,159 on a word that's easier to rhyme, 88 00:03:50,227 --> 00:03:52,695 like, uh... "Tree" or "holly." 89 00:03:52,763 --> 00:03:53,997 What did you say? 90 00:03:54,065 --> 00:03:54,814 Um... "Holly." 91 00:03:54,881 --> 00:03:56,799 "Holly." Now... 92 00:03:56,867 --> 00:03:59,352 What sounds christmassy 93 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:02,054 and rhymes with "holly"? 94 00:04:02,122 --> 00:04:03,923 "Jolly." You got it! 95 00:04:03,990 --> 00:04:05,191 Come here, you! 96 00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:18,654 What's up? 97 00:04:19,823 --> 00:04:22,759 Yeah, laugh and walk, boys, laugh and walk. 98 00:04:22,826 --> 00:04:24,861 Steppin', huh? 99 00:04:24,929 --> 00:04:27,197 Hey, that goes for you guys, too. Let's go. 100 00:04:27,265 --> 00:04:29,332 Keep it movin'. It's the same as last year. 101 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:30,867 Keep it movin'. You saw it. 102 00:04:34,772 --> 00:04:37,406 Excuse me. Do you have the time? 103 00:04:37,474 --> 00:04:38,708 Who wants to know? 104 00:04:38,776 --> 00:04:40,110 Oh. Sorry. I'm- I'm Larry Kelly. 105 00:04:40,177 --> 00:04:42,395 I'm around the corner guarding a Christmas tree. 106 00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:43,463 Oh. Hi. 107 00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,214 Hey. Yeah. It's about, uh... 108 00:04:45,282 --> 00:04:47,250 9:15. Doug heffernan. 109 00:04:47,318 --> 00:04:49,118 How's, uh... how's it goin' on your beat? 110 00:04:49,186 --> 00:04:51,971 Not bad. Not bad. Couple of curious dogs. Yeah. 111 00:04:52,039 --> 00:04:54,157 Collies. Yeah. They tried to give me some trouble. 112 00:04:54,225 --> 00:04:56,326 I sent them packin'. 113 00:04:56,394 --> 00:04:57,910 Hi, sweetie. What are you doin' here? 114 00:04:57,978 --> 00:04:59,579 Hi. They're sayin' it might snow, 115 00:04:59,646 --> 00:05:02,147 so I brought you some soup and your heavy jacket. 116 00:05:02,215 --> 00:05:04,801 Oh... thanks, honey. That's great. This is 117 00:05:04,868 --> 00:05:06,736 Doug heffernan, fellow parishioner. 118 00:05:06,804 --> 00:05:08,237 Doug, my wife Cathy. 119 00:05:08,306 --> 00:05:10,106 Nice to meet you, Doug. Nice to meet you. 120 00:05:10,174 --> 00:05:12,208 Oh. If I'd known there were gonna be two of you, 121 00:05:12,275 --> 00:05:15,244 I would've brought some extra minestrone and another jacket. 122 00:05:15,312 --> 00:05:16,245 Hmm. 123 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,266 That's all right. My wife's gonna be stoppin' by 124 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,268 any minute, I'm sure. 125 00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:28,574 Yeah, I'll just give her a call, see what she's doin'. 126 00:05:28,642 --> 00:05:30,392 Mmm. 127 00:05:36,851 --> 00:05:38,050 Hello. 128 00:05:38,118 --> 00:05:39,635 Hey. Honey, it's me. 129 00:05:39,703 --> 00:05:41,271 Hey. How's it goin'? 130 00:05:41,339 --> 00:05:43,273 Oh. It's cold. 131 00:05:43,341 --> 00:05:45,741 I tell you. I could really go for some soup. 132 00:05:45,809 --> 00:05:47,627 Oh, that's so funny. I just had some. 133 00:05:52,683 --> 00:05:53,949 Uh-huh. 134 00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:55,285 You know, uh... 135 00:05:55,352 --> 00:05:57,353 They're sayin' it's gonna snow tonight. 136 00:05:57,421 --> 00:06:00,606 Oh, really? Well, try not to track any in the house. Ok? 137 00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:02,592 Oh, I just messed my pinky. 138 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:04,126 I gotta go. I gotta go. 139 00:06:07,531 --> 00:06:09,465 I love you, too, baby. Yeah. 140 00:06:17,607 --> 00:06:18,975 Good golly! 141 00:06:34,624 --> 00:06:35,407 Not bad, huh? 142 00:06:35,559 --> 00:06:37,660 Are you deaf? That was a train wreck. 143 00:06:39,596 --> 00:06:41,647 I thought it went ok. 144 00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:44,500 It's hopelessly generic! It's pap! 145 00:06:44,568 --> 00:06:47,770 Yeah. We didn't blow too many people away, huh? 146 00:06:47,838 --> 00:06:49,839 Course not, because we're not saying anything 147 00:06:49,906 --> 00:06:52,842 that hasn't been said a thousand times before 148 00:06:52,909 --> 00:06:55,345 by burl ives, God rest his soul. 149 00:06:55,412 --> 00:06:59,014 Possibly. I have no idea if he's dead or alive. 150 00:06:59,082 --> 00:07:01,584 That's great. I gotta go call Dr. blaustein 151 00:07:01,652 --> 00:07:03,686 and tell him to cancel my calf surgery. 152 00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,206 Wait, wait, wait. What did you just say? 153 00:07:07,274 --> 00:07:08,708 Um... calf surgery? 154 00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,209 No, no, no. Before that. 155 00:07:10,277 --> 00:07:12,378 I have to call- in the middle. 156 00:07:12,445 --> 00:07:13,379 Dr. blaustein. 157 00:07:13,446 --> 00:07:14,380 Yes. 158 00:07:14,447 --> 00:07:15,715 He a Jewish fella? 159 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:16,883 Yeah. Why? 160 00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,151 That's it. What the world needs 161 00:07:18,218 --> 00:07:19,652 is a new hanukkah song. 162 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:20,887 Aside from dreidel dreidel 163 00:07:20,954 --> 00:07:22,955 and that Adam sandler thing, 164 00:07:23,023 --> 00:07:25,324 it's an untapped market. 165 00:07:25,392 --> 00:07:28,211 Oh, yeah. Yeah, and, you know, I'm 1/8th Jewish. 166 00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:30,713 Sweet. I'm gonna grab a bagel and a schmear. 167 00:07:30,781 --> 00:07:33,065 Settle up with the choir. Go. 168 00:07:46,578 --> 00:07:48,012 Hey, babe. Where you goin'? 169 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,015 Hey. I'm headin' back to the manger. 170 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:53,117 Oh. So you won't be home for dinner? 171 00:07:53,185 --> 00:07:54,836 No. Why? What are you makin'? 172 00:07:54,904 --> 00:07:57,956 Uh, a phone call to shanghal gardens. 173 00:07:59,608 --> 00:08:00,675 Hey, uh... 174 00:08:02,411 --> 00:08:04,346 Hope it doesn't snow tonight, but if it does, 175 00:08:04,413 --> 00:08:06,981 you'll... you'll bring me my heavy coat, right? 176 00:08:07,049 --> 00:08:09,800 Why don't you just take it with you now, babe? 177 00:08:11,253 --> 00:08:13,221 I just thought that, you know, like... 178 00:08:14,757 --> 00:08:16,274 Ok, yeah. That's fine. 179 00:08:18,427 --> 00:08:20,462 So, how's the, uh, cake comin' along? 180 00:08:20,529 --> 00:08:21,679 Wha-what? You know, 181 00:08:21,747 --> 00:08:22,797 the cake you told father melley 182 00:08:22,865 --> 00:08:23,965 you're making for the bake sale. 183 00:08:24,032 --> 00:08:25,667 Oh. Right. That. 184 00:08:25,735 --> 00:08:27,736 Uh... I actually haven't decided 185 00:08:27,803 --> 00:08:28,870 what I'm gonna make yet, 186 00:08:28,937 --> 00:08:32,206 but whatever I decide, it gon' be good. 187 00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:36,544 Seriously, you should probably settle on somethin'. 188 00:08:36,612 --> 00:08:39,447 I will, honey. I have till Saturday. Ok? 189 00:08:39,515 --> 00:08:42,250 I know. It's just that, you know, Larry's wife Cathy, 190 00:08:42,318 --> 00:08:44,719 she's already begun the prep work on her cake. 191 00:08:44,786 --> 00:08:46,221 Oh. Prep work. 192 00:08:46,288 --> 00:08:47,355 Oh, I better get out 193 00:08:47,423 --> 00:08:50,558 my sugar and my butter. 194 00:08:50,626 --> 00:08:53,894 I only have 3 days to make cake. 195 00:08:57,299 --> 00:08:59,434 She doesn't actually sound like that, but whatever. 196 00:08:59,502 --> 00:09:01,969 Yeah, hello. Order for delivery, please. 197 00:09:02,037 --> 00:09:03,438 Ok. 198 00:09:06,992 --> 00:09:09,760 Oy! What a schnorra! 199 00:09:19,488 --> 00:09:21,255 Thud. 200 00:09:21,323 --> 00:09:24,759 I guess people love that dreidel song more than we thought. 201 00:09:24,827 --> 00:09:26,160 This is humbling. 202 00:09:26,228 --> 00:09:27,762 So, what now, boss? 203 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,564 I don't know. Grease the choir 204 00:09:29,632 --> 00:09:31,432 while I figure out our next move. 205 00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:42,794 Yeah! 206 00:10:13,475 --> 00:10:14,659 Hey. 207 00:10:14,726 --> 00:10:15,660 All right! 208 00:10:15,727 --> 00:10:16,827 It's 9:00. 209 00:10:16,895 --> 00:10:19,497 The bake sale's tomorrow... 210 00:10:19,565 --> 00:10:20,965 And I'm starin' at an empty cake plate. 211 00:10:21,033 --> 00:10:22,500 I need some answers. 212 00:10:22,567 --> 00:10:24,268 Relax, honey. 213 00:10:24,336 --> 00:10:27,404 I was gonna make one, but I had to work late and I'm exhausted, 214 00:10:27,472 --> 00:10:30,942 so, thank ya... Hungarian bakery. 215 00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,727 You bought... a cake? 216 00:10:32,795 --> 00:10:35,697 Yeah. And once they scraped off "happy retirement, Gus," 217 00:10:35,764 --> 00:10:37,832 it was good to go. 218 00:10:37,899 --> 00:10:40,935 Oh, the new people came. Good. 219 00:10:41,002 --> 00:10:42,586 Nnggg... 220 00:10:44,907 --> 00:10:46,174 Carrie... 221 00:10:46,242 --> 00:10:49,177 You can't bring a bought cake to a church bake sale. 222 00:10:49,245 --> 00:10:50,511 It-it's wrong. 223 00:10:50,579 --> 00:10:51,629 Says who? 224 00:10:51,697 --> 00:10:52,430 Uh... the Bible. 225 00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:56,718 Look, Doug, just relax. Ok? 226 00:10:56,785 --> 00:10:58,185 I'm sure I'm not the only one 227 00:10:58,253 --> 00:11:00,421 who's bringing a bought cake. Ok? 228 00:11:00,489 --> 00:11:01,623 Well, I know Larry's wife isn't. 229 00:11:01,691 --> 00:11:02,691 She's makin' a volcano cake. 230 00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:03,692 Do you know what that is? 231 00:11:03,759 --> 00:11:05,193 It erupts caramel lava 232 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:08,029 and then drowns a gingerbread village. 233 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,284 Any chance you're gonna be in that village? 234 00:11:15,287 --> 00:11:16,554 Nice joke. That's real funny. 235 00:11:16,622 --> 00:11:17,889 You know what's real funny, though? That fact 236 00:11:17,956 --> 00:11:19,624 that I actually thought you were gonna make this cake. 237 00:11:19,692 --> 00:11:21,859 What does that mean? It means you're not wife-ish! 238 00:11:21,927 --> 00:11:24,112 I'm not whitefish? 239 00:11:24,180 --> 00:11:26,881 Wife... ish! Wifely. Wife-like. 240 00:11:26,949 --> 00:11:28,750 You-you never bring me my slippers 241 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,952 or tell me I'm clever or knit me somethin'! 242 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:33,755 Oh, well, I'm sorry I don't wait on you hand and foot, Doug. 243 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,290 That's because I work for a living! 244 00:11:36,358 --> 00:11:37,725 Y - well, so does the woman in the commercial, 245 00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:40,895 and she manages to get everything done with acid reflux! 246 00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:45,467 So, why don't you marry her, 247 00:11:45,534 --> 00:11:47,735 and I'll marry the guy in the Pepsi commercial that I like. 248 00:11:47,803 --> 00:11:50,137 Oh, 'cause he'd never be with you, because you know what? 249 00:11:50,205 --> 00:11:51,539 He'd have to get his own Pepsi! 250 00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:52,740 Whatever. You know what? 251 00:11:52,808 --> 00:11:54,241 You're acting like a lunatic. 252 00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,411 This is the cake that I'm bring, so just deal with it. 253 00:11:56,478 --> 00:11:57,645 You know what? You're absolutely right. 254 00:11:57,713 --> 00:11:58,913 You know what? This is fine! Stop! Stop! 255 00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:00,515 Let me just cut it up for you! Hyah! Hyah! 256 00:12:00,582 --> 00:12:01,582 Stop it. 257 00:12:04,653 --> 00:12:05,920 Yeah. Ok. 258 00:12:07,255 --> 00:12:10,074 Fantastic. I'll just buy another one. 259 00:12:10,142 --> 00:12:11,926 You know, Carrie... When I told people 260 00:12:11,994 --> 00:12:14,562 you were bakin' a cake for the church... 261 00:12:14,629 --> 00:12:16,597 I actually felt proud. 262 00:12:16,665 --> 00:12:18,766 Guess I was just bein' naive. 263 00:12:33,464 --> 00:12:35,331 What are you doin'? 264 00:12:35,399 --> 00:12:38,067 I'm baking your freakin' cake, so get out. 265 00:12:39,336 --> 00:12:41,605 Really? What... what kind? 266 00:12:41,672 --> 00:12:43,756 Well, it's gonna be this whole delicious fudge thing 267 00:12:43,824 --> 00:12:47,660 that's gonna make Cathy's volcano look like a pile of crap. 268 00:12:47,728 --> 00:12:50,080 Is it in the oven? Can I see it? 269 00:12:50,147 --> 00:12:51,915 Actually, I haven't started yet. 270 00:12:52,850 --> 00:12:54,401 Looks like you started. 271 00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:56,369 I can't do it! Ok? 272 00:12:56,437 --> 00:12:58,054 I tried! I mean, all these recipes 273 00:12:58,122 --> 00:13:00,123 need things that I. - that I don't know how to use, 274 00:13:00,190 --> 00:13:03,126 like a food processor and big spoons! 275 00:13:04,328 --> 00:13:05,962 And how do you fold an egg? 276 00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:07,597 It's impossible! It's witchcraft! 277 00:13:07,664 --> 00:13:09,449 Ok. Just relax. Ok? 278 00:13:09,517 --> 00:13:11,251 Look, we'll find you somethin' here that we can make. 279 00:13:11,319 --> 00:13:14,354 All right? Um... hey. How 'bout this? How 'bout rum cake? 280 00:13:14,422 --> 00:13:17,757 Oh, I tried that. But then I got nervous, and I drank all the rum. 281 00:13:19,827 --> 00:13:22,095 You're right, honey. I'm not wife-ish or whitefish, 282 00:13:22,162 --> 00:13:23,930 whatever it is you called me. 283 00:13:23,997 --> 00:13:25,932 All those things you said about me. - It's true. 284 00:13:25,999 --> 00:13:28,268 Oh, just-hey, stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop! 285 00:13:28,336 --> 00:13:31,003 Stop! Ok?! Look, you know what? I got an idea. 286 00:13:31,155 --> 00:13:32,321 We'll-we'll just call my mom. 287 00:13:32,389 --> 00:13:34,074 Aw, come on! What are you doin' to me? 288 00:13:34,141 --> 00:13:35,175 Look... 289 00:13:36,277 --> 00:13:38,978 She'll talk us through an easy recipe. Ok? 290 00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:41,798 Oh, fine. I'm too drunk to fight. 291 00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:43,867 Hello? 292 00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:44,984 Hey, ma, it's me. 293 00:13:45,052 --> 00:13:47,287 Oh, my God. What's wrong? 294 00:13:47,354 --> 00:13:50,623 Nothing's wrong. Look, I just need your help on something. 295 00:13:50,691 --> 00:13:52,825 Well, all right. What is it, darling? 296 00:13:52,893 --> 00:13:55,895 Well, uh, tomorrow is our church bake sale, 297 00:13:55,963 --> 00:13:59,199 and Carrie is gonna bake a cake. 298 00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:01,835 Oh. 299 00:14:02,586 --> 00:14:03,903 Anyway, um, 300 00:14:03,971 --> 00:14:04,638 we were wonderin' if you had like, uh, 301 00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:07,490 an easy recipe to, you know, give us. 302 00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:10,927 Let me think. A nice, easy cake recipe. 303 00:14:10,995 --> 00:14:13,129 Hey, how 'bout that, uh, chocolate crumbly thing? 304 00:14:13,197 --> 00:14:15,732 No. She can't do that. 305 00:14:15,799 --> 00:14:19,102 Hey, well, at least I can match my pants and my shirt- 306 00:14:24,374 --> 00:14:25,508 this may be our last chance. 307 00:14:25,576 --> 00:14:26,609 Well, just get the frickin' recipe! 308 00:14:26,677 --> 00:14:29,079 All right. Right. Ma, you-you got anything? 309 00:14:29,146 --> 00:14:30,246 How about a lemon bundt cake? 310 00:14:30,313 --> 00:14:32,682 Very easy. A monkey could make it. 311 00:14:34,401 --> 00:14:35,701 A monkey could make it. 312 00:14:48,832 --> 00:14:50,533 Carrie. The cake. Huh? 313 00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:51,867 It's done. It's done. I'm up. I'm up. I'm up. 314 00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:54,370 Let's take a look at it. 315 00:14:54,438 --> 00:14:55,371 Ok. 316 00:14:58,075 --> 00:14:59,359 I love you. 317 00:15:02,446 --> 00:15:03,546 I love you. 318 00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:15,291 Maybe it'll look better if we put it 319 00:15:15,358 --> 00:15:17,560 on the cake plate. Yeah, let's do that. Let's do that. 320 00:15:29,457 --> 00:15:31,557 Am I dreaming that we're giants? 321 00:15:35,296 --> 00:15:36,229 Nope. 322 00:15:37,798 --> 00:15:38,731 Are we giants? 323 00:15:40,134 --> 00:15:42,068 I told you we needed more batter! 324 00:15:42,136 --> 00:15:43,769 Well, you shoulda put more baking powder in there! 325 00:15:43,837 --> 00:15:45,238 You have no idea how much a pinch is! 326 00:15:45,306 --> 00:15:46,339 I know what a pinch is! 327 00:15:46,407 --> 00:15:47,256 Ok? Aah! Aah! 328 00:15:47,324 --> 00:15:48,708 Oh, you wanna go?! No, come on! 329 00:15:48,775 --> 00:15:50,577 Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Come on! 330 00:15:50,644 --> 00:15:53,112 We've been up all night! I'm hung-over. 331 00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:56,516 And nobody's gonna want to buy this stupid doll cake! 332 00:15:56,584 --> 00:15:57,918 What are we gonna do?! 333 00:15:57,985 --> 00:16:01,821 I don't know! This is my first bad experience with cake! 334 00:16:01,889 --> 00:16:03,756 All right, you know what? I'm just gonna see what place is open. 335 00:16:03,824 --> 00:16:05,124 We're gonna buy one. Ok? 336 00:16:05,192 --> 00:16:07,427 N- no! No! Look, I got an idea. Ok? 337 00:16:07,495 --> 00:16:10,096 We'll bring the covered cake plate to the bake sale. 338 00:16:10,163 --> 00:16:11,698 And I'll just say to everybody, "hey, everybody", 339 00:16:11,766 --> 00:16:13,416 "I'm gonna buy my wife's cake." And then we'll leave 340 00:16:13,483 --> 00:16:14,951 with the same covered cake plate, 341 00:16:15,019 --> 00:16:16,953 and nobody has to know that the cake... 342 00:16:18,689 --> 00:16:20,290 Never existed. 343 00:16:22,659 --> 00:16:24,594 So you're ok with an invisible cake, 344 00:16:24,695 --> 00:16:26,863 but you won't let me buy a real one. 345 00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,597 You know what? You can judge me when you sober up. 346 00:16:28,665 --> 00:16:30,033 Now, grab the lid. 347 00:16:32,069 --> 00:16:34,403 Oh, the lid is made of glass! 348 00:16:34,472 --> 00:16:36,973 Everybody will know there's nothing in there! 349 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,741 Come on. That's it. It's over. No! 350 00:16:38,809 --> 00:16:40,143 Wait. I j- I'll tell you what. 351 00:16:40,211 --> 00:16:42,511 Just grab me somethin' cake-shaped and a can of frosting. 352 00:16:42,579 --> 00:16:43,813 Ok. 353 00:16:43,881 --> 00:16:45,582 We don't have any frosting. 354 00:16:45,649 --> 00:16:47,250 In my nightstand! Go! Ok. 355 00:16:52,322 --> 00:16:53,489 Observed! 356 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,247 I thought that went over rather well. 357 00:17:01,315 --> 00:17:02,932 Are you kidding?! 358 00:17:02,999 --> 00:17:04,400 The only song that bombed worse 359 00:17:04,468 --> 00:17:06,502 was that's Wednesday to me. 360 00:17:07,571 --> 00:17:08,871 Well, we gave it a whirl. 361 00:17:08,939 --> 00:17:10,473 Come on. Let's sneak in to chicken little. 362 00:17:10,541 --> 00:17:12,342 What? No. Arthur. 363 00:17:12,409 --> 00:17:14,210 I'm not gonna go see a movie with you. Ok? 364 00:17:14,277 --> 00:17:16,746 I- I've spent over $600 on this choir. 365 00:17:16,814 --> 00:17:18,348 My calves are smaller than ever. 366 00:17:18,415 --> 00:17:20,516 The only thing I feel like doing right now 367 00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:23,118 is reaching down your throat, grabbing your heart, 368 00:17:23,186 --> 00:17:26,522 and crushing it with my bare hands. Do you understand me? 369 00:17:26,590 --> 00:17:28,624 I understand you've written the first line 370 00:17:28,692 --> 00:17:31,093 of a hit breakup song! 371 00:17:31,161 --> 00:17:32,745 Come here, you! 372 00:17:41,105 --> 00:17:42,038 How's it goin'? 373 00:17:42,106 --> 00:17:43,039 Nice to see you. 374 00:17:43,107 --> 00:17:44,840 Oh. Oh, hey. 375 00:17:44,908 --> 00:17:46,109 Season's greetings. Season's greetings. 376 00:17:46,176 --> 00:17:47,476 Oh. Thank you. Hey. 377 00:17:47,628 --> 00:17:49,395 My wife Carrie. Hi. Larry. 378 00:17:49,463 --> 00:17:50,679 Hi. My wife Cathy. 379 00:17:50,747 --> 00:17:52,681 Oh. Hi. Nice to meet you. 380 00:17:52,749 --> 00:17:54,383 Yeah. I've heard so much about you 381 00:17:54,451 --> 00:17:56,685 and your famous erupting cakes. 382 00:17:57,988 --> 00:17:59,472 Actually, I'm a little nervous. 383 00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:02,074 It's supposed to be bubbling by now. 384 00:18:02,142 --> 00:18:04,694 And it's not? After all that prep work? 385 00:18:04,762 --> 00:18:05,895 Ok. 386 00:18:05,963 --> 00:18:07,830 I'm just saying... 387 00:18:07,898 --> 00:18:10,633 We'll catch you guys later. Ok. 388 00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:11,384 Ok. Bye-bye. 389 00:18:11,451 --> 00:18:12,569 Hey. There's father melley. 390 00:18:12,636 --> 00:18:13,669 Let's do this. Ok. 391 00:18:15,372 --> 00:18:17,406 Then I went blond in the eighties. But who didn't? 392 00:18:18,809 --> 00:18:21,244 Anyway, try the punch. It's divine. 393 00:18:22,312 --> 00:18:23,579 Hello, you two. 394 00:18:23,647 --> 00:18:26,315 Carrie. Thank you so much. 395 00:18:26,383 --> 00:18:28,852 Oh, no problem. 396 00:18:28,919 --> 00:18:31,587 Wow. Look at all the great cakes here. 397 00:18:31,655 --> 00:18:33,222 Gosh, I wonder which one I'm gonna choose. 398 00:18:33,290 --> 00:18:35,591 I don't know. Well, I guess it's gonna be this one. 399 00:18:35,659 --> 00:18:36,859 Get the car. Ok. 400 00:18:36,927 --> 00:18:37,927 All right. 401 00:18:37,995 --> 00:18:39,095 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 402 00:18:39,163 --> 00:18:40,763 Can't let you do that. 403 00:18:40,831 --> 00:18:42,064 Well, why not? 404 00:18:42,132 --> 00:18:43,600 We don't do the traditional bake sale here. 405 00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:44,934 We do something much more fun. 406 00:18:45,002 --> 00:18:46,402 It's called a cake walk. 407 00:18:46,470 --> 00:18:48,104 Huh. 408 00:18:48,172 --> 00:18:49,272 What's that? 409 00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:51,358 Well, uh, we put the cakes in a circle, 410 00:18:51,425 --> 00:18:53,025 and the men walk around them. 411 00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:54,260 And when the music stops, 412 00:18:54,328 --> 00:18:55,662 if you're in front of a cake, you buy it. 413 00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:59,198 If you're not, you keep goin'. It's a panic. 414 00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:02,685 Uh-huh. 415 00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:04,253 So, do you want the lid on or off? 416 00:19:04,321 --> 00:19:05,621 On. On. There's some stuff in there 417 00:19:05,689 --> 00:19:06,956 that shouldn't be exposed to air. 418 00:19:08,859 --> 00:19:09,792 All righty. 419 00:19:11,195 --> 00:19:12,962 Ok, everyone! Let's gather around 420 00:19:13,030 --> 00:19:15,097 for the main event! 421 00:19:15,165 --> 00:19:15,949 Great plan. 422 00:19:16,016 --> 00:19:17,934 I didn't count on a cake walk. 423 00:20:04,915 --> 00:20:06,182 Sorry, man. 424 00:20:35,613 --> 00:20:37,447 What happened?! 425 00:20:37,514 --> 00:20:39,548 I've never seen caramel do that. 426 00:20:42,219 --> 00:20:46,222 Hey... this is a chocolate frosted couch pillow! 427 00:20:50,276 --> 00:20:52,044 Now! Get the car! 428 00:21:03,407 --> 00:21:05,141 Dad? What's the matter? 429 00:21:06,243 --> 00:21:07,844 I saw chicken little. 430 00:21:10,647 --> 00:21:11,664 Come on. 30714