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1
00:00:08,373 --> 00:00:10,538
[ Theme music playing ]
2
00:00:10,573 --> 00:00:13,277
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:13,312 --> 00:00:15,081
[ Lever clicks ]
4
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:23,749
♪
5
00:00:23,784 --> 00:00:26,092
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,951
[ Robot chicken clucking ]
7
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:33,858
♪
8
00:00:33,893 --> 00:00:36,267
[ Laughing evilly ]
9
00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:43,274
♪
10
00:00:43,309 --> 00:00:44,902
[ Rattling and hissing ]
11
00:00:44,937 --> 00:00:48,576
[ Percussion cacophony plays ]
12
00:00:48,611 --> 00:00:50,644
Do you have any idea
how embarrassing it isss
13
00:00:50,679 --> 00:00:53,548
that other rattlesnakes know
that I'm related to you?
14
00:00:53,583 --> 00:00:55,979
[ Engine rumbling ]
15
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,882
Whoa, buddy!
Where's your parachute?!
16
00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,258
I bet my friends 50 bucks
that penguins could fly
17
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:03,162
if they were motivated enough,
so here goes!
18
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,724
That literally makes
no sense,
19
00:01:04,759 --> 00:01:07,056
and you should wear a parachute
because you're wrong.
20
00:01:07,091 --> 00:01:08,563
Didn't you see
"Dark Knight Rises"?
21
00:01:08,598 --> 00:01:10,499
You're only motivated
to achieve the impossible
22
00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:12,138
once you take off
the training wheels, man.
23
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,338
Whee!
- Aw, not again!
24
00:01:14,373 --> 00:01:17,836
Oh, I'm nervous about
meeting your family, Mitch.
25
00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:19,739
After all,
I'm a Cabbage Patch Kid,
26
00:01:19,774 --> 00:01:22,676
and your family
is Garbage Pail Kids.
27
00:01:22,711 --> 00:01:24,480
There's nothing to worry
about, Babette Jocelyn.
28
00:01:24,515 --> 00:01:26,009
I love you,
so they will, too.
29
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,879
Oh, my baby boy!
30
00:01:27,914 --> 00:01:31,047
And this must be
Babette Jocelyn!
31
00:01:31,082 --> 00:01:32,323
Come here, you!
32
00:01:32,358 --> 00:01:34,292
I'm Mitch's mom,
Bloody Mary.
33
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,085
Come meet the rest
of the family!
34
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,395
This is my hubby,
Harry Hemorrhoid.
35
00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:39,726
[ Groaning ]
36
00:01:39,761 --> 00:01:41,332
[ Squish ]
37
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,301
- Hi, Mitch.
- Acne Amy!
38
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,534
Wow! You got so tall!
Bring it in here. [ Grunts ]
39
00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:46,865
[ Popping, splat ]
40
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:49,604
[ Gags ] Bathroom?
Oh, God.
41
00:01:49,639 --> 00:01:52,244
[ Gagging ] Okay.
42
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:55,137
[ Groans ]
Babette, you can do this.
43
00:01:55,172 --> 00:01:56,248
Just breathe.
[ Door opens ]
44
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:57,777
Outta the way!
Get outta the way!
45
00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:59,108
[ Defecating, water splashing ]
46
00:01:59,143 --> 00:02:01,044
Ugh! Whoa!
That one's ripe!
47
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,420
Hey!
You must be Babette!
48
00:02:03,455 --> 00:02:05,422
- I'm Dia-
- Rita. Nice to...
49
00:02:05,457 --> 00:02:07,721
[ Defecating, water splashing ]
Ugh. Meet you.
50
00:02:07,756 --> 00:02:09,052
[ Gagging ]
51
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,328
There you are!
Come on.
52
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,198
The rest of the family's
waiting to meet you.
53
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,760
[ Crunch ]
54
00:02:13,795 --> 00:02:15,091
[ Smooching ]
55
00:02:15,126 --> 00:02:16,763
[ Crack! ]
56
00:02:16,798 --> 00:02:18,666
♪
57
00:02:18,701 --> 00:02:19,766
That went great!
58
00:02:19,801 --> 00:02:21,702
My family loves you!
I'm so glad.
59
00:02:21,737 --> 00:02:25,101
Oh, Babette, you simply must
come back for Thanksgiv--
60
00:02:25,136 --> 00:02:28,038
I'm sorry.
Are you inked?
61
00:02:28,073 --> 00:02:30,073
What? That's just my
Xavier Roberts tattoo.
62
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,284
This trollop
has tattooed herself
63
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,813
with another man's name!
64
00:02:33,848 --> 00:02:35,012
He's my creator!
65
00:02:35,047 --> 00:02:37,322
Are you in
a fucking cult?!
66
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,588
Get out of my house
at once!
67
00:02:39,623 --> 00:02:40,919
- Mitch!
- Sorry, baby.
68
00:02:40,954 --> 00:02:42,888
My family think tattoos
are disgusting,
69
00:02:42,923 --> 00:02:44,989
and I do, too,
so y-you better go.
70
00:02:45,024 --> 00:02:46,595
[ Inhales deeply, sobs ]
71
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,828
I got pussed on
for you!
72
00:02:48,863 --> 00:02:50,368
Well, looks like I should've
got into her pants
73
00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:51,765
earlier, right, fam?
74
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,569
[ Chuckles ]
Fuckin' psoriasis.
75
00:02:53,604 --> 00:02:54,933
[ Groans ]
- Let's see.
76
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,407
Cinderella,
you're here for...
77
00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:57,936
You tried to wear
glass shoes.
78
00:02:57,971 --> 00:03:00,378
Honey, men don't give a shit
about women's footwear.
79
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,545
Next time, Wear, like,
a pair of Air Jordans.
80
00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:04,745
That'll get his attention
without the personal harm.
81
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:07,143
- Those are actually pretty sick.
- I know, right?
82
00:03:07,178 --> 00:03:09,387
Okay.
Let's cut those feet off.
83
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,884
All right. Do you know
why I pulled you over?
84
00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:14,018
- No, I do not.
- Fuck!
85
00:03:16,726 --> 00:03:19,221
[ Chuckles ] Hey.
- Look at this Itsy Bitsy ass.
86
00:03:19,256 --> 00:03:21,663
Hey! Where ya goin',
Itsy Bitsy?!
87
00:03:21,698 --> 00:03:23,533
- Fuck you!
- Eat shit!
88
00:03:23,568 --> 00:03:26,030
- Fuck you! You eat shit!
- You eat shit!
89
00:03:26,065 --> 00:03:28,835
I'm-a climb up this garden
spout, you fucking asshole!
90
00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,969
- Better not!
- Better not, asshole!
91
00:03:31,004 --> 00:03:33,004
- It's gonna rain!
- Fuck you!
92
00:03:33,039 --> 00:03:35,006
Fuck you!
Yeah, fuck you!
93
00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,348
I do what I fucking want!
94
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,515
How about that, motherfucker?
95
00:03:38,550 --> 00:03:39,681
Ya told that fuck.
96
00:03:39,716 --> 00:03:41,045
- You told him.
- That fuck.
97
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,245
[ Thunder rumbles,
Itsy Bitsy screams ]
98
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,687
Oh, look!
Shit fuck is back.
99
00:03:45,722 --> 00:03:47,491
- Told ya, you fuck!
- Eat shit!
100
00:03:47,526 --> 00:03:49,823
- You eat shit!
- Eat shit, you fuck!
101
00:03:49,858 --> 00:03:51,220
[ Birds chirping ]
102
00:03:51,255 --> 00:03:53,365
[ Water dripping ]
103
00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,192
The fuck you doin' now?
104
00:03:56,227 --> 00:03:58,733
I'm-a climb up this garden spout
and fuck yo' mama!
105
00:03:58,768 --> 00:03:59,932
Fuckin' kill you,
you fuck!
106
00:03:59,967 --> 00:04:01,439
These is prison rules,
motherfucker!
107
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:03,309
Itsy Bitsy bitch!
108
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:06,202
[ Dramatic music plays ]
109
00:04:06,237 --> 00:04:08,380
Oh, no, dear Agnarr,
we're dead!
110
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,580
Oh, it pains me
that our children,
111
00:04:10,615 --> 00:04:13,110
Anna and Elsa,
must grow up without us.
112
00:04:13,145 --> 00:04:16,146
Oh, they'll be fine.
Dead parents build character.
113
00:04:16,181 --> 00:04:18,687
Yeah, our little Tarzan
was raised by gorillas after
114
00:04:18,722 --> 00:04:20,986
we were murdered by a leopard,
and he turned out great.
115
00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:23,692
Ah. New dead parents.
116
00:04:23,727 --> 00:04:26,794
You are just in time
for tonight's Heaven rave!
117
00:04:26,829 --> 00:04:28,664
Ooh! What's a rave?
118
00:04:28,699 --> 00:04:30,930
[ Dance music thumping,
cheerful shouting ]
119
00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:33,262
Oh, this is better
- than any ball in Arendelle.
120
00:04:33,297 --> 00:04:35,066
I feel so free!
121
00:04:35,101 --> 00:04:36,969
Ow! Ow!
Let it go, baby!
122
00:04:37,004 --> 00:04:38,905
Here comes
the dump truck.
123
00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:41,875
♪
124
00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:43,074
[ Snorting ]
125
00:04:43,109 --> 00:04:45,208
I say this pixie dust
is quite different
126
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,649
than the snow
- we're used to back home.
127
00:04:46,684 --> 00:04:48,618
Coral: Hey!
Can I get some down here?
128
00:04:48,653 --> 00:04:49,850
[ Toilet flushes ]
129
00:04:49,885 --> 00:04:52,556
I didn't get eaten
by a barracuda for nothing!
130
00:04:52,591 --> 00:04:54,151
[ Bionic sound effect plays ]
131
00:04:54,186 --> 00:04:56,186
[ Snorts ] Whoo-oo!
132
00:04:56,221 --> 00:04:59,090
Who wants to butt-chug
some Dole Whip?!
133
00:04:59,125 --> 00:05:01,125
[ Indistinct shouting ]
134
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,324
Whoo!
135
00:05:02,359 --> 00:05:05,536
[ Somber music plays ]
136
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,967
I hope they're
in a better place.
137
00:05:08,002 --> 00:05:10,772
Me too, Anna.
Me too.
138
00:05:10,807 --> 00:05:12,510
Iduna: I just did
my first butt chug!
139
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,941
Agnarr:
Being a dead parent rules!
140
00:05:14,976 --> 00:05:17,240
Barbie, I must go.
I can't do this anymore.
141
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,011
Why, Ken? Why?!
142
00:05:19,046 --> 00:05:22,751
I'm Butterfly Prince Ken.
I must go be with my people.
143
00:05:22,786 --> 00:05:25,347
Flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap...
144
00:05:25,382 --> 00:05:27,052
Look, Bell,
- I don't condone bestiality,
145
00:05:27,087 --> 00:05:29,087
but the fact of the matter
is if you fuck a dog,
146
00:05:29,122 --> 00:05:31,188
you're going to get
a yeast infection.
147
00:05:31,223 --> 00:05:34,994
Welcome, viewers!
I am Dexter, boy genius!
148
00:05:35,029 --> 00:05:38,195
Today I present to you
an extraordinary invention!
149
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:42,364
This is the Mom Droid,
a revolutionary new robot
150
00:05:42,399 --> 00:05:43,838
who does anything a mom can do.
151
00:05:43,873 --> 00:05:46,269
Now let's go to the phones.
Hello, Gil. You're on the air.
152
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,479
Gil: Uh, yes. Hello.
153
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,173
First-time caller,
longtime listener.
154
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:50,581
Is she fully functional?
155
00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:52,451
Yes. Of course.
She can cook and clean.
156
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,783
Mom Droid, make an
omelette du fromage.
157
00:05:54,818 --> 00:05:58,380
Okay. Cool. Um, but how many,
uh, thrusts will you get?
158
00:05:58,415 --> 00:05:59,524
Thrusts?
159
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,350
How intensely
does she vibrate?
160
00:06:01,385 --> 00:06:03,286
If she is vibrating,
something is wrong.
161
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,925
That means she is broken,
you idiot.
162
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,895
Okay. But is it easy to clean
up, you know, afterwards?
163
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,897
Mom Droid,
clean the kitchen.
164
00:06:09,932 --> 00:06:11,767
Awesome.
I'll take one for sure.
165
00:06:11,802 --> 00:06:14,231
Excellent! Let's take
another caller. Okay.
166
00:06:14,266 --> 00:06:15,540
Schlomo,
you're on the air.
167
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:18,609
Uh, she looks very real.
Um, does she feel real?
168
00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:20,039
She feels like your mother.
169
00:06:20,074 --> 00:06:22,547
Okay. Cool. How big are
the holes? I'm very large.
170
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:25,209
She can burn holes into anything
with her laser eyes.
171
00:06:25,244 --> 00:06:27,145
Mom Droid,
blast that trash!
172
00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:29,015
[ Zapping ]
Um, I'll buy one, I guess.
173
00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:30,918
And who does not want
the Mom Droid?
174
00:06:30,953 --> 00:06:32,282
Hello, Larb.
You're on the air.
175
00:06:32,317 --> 00:06:34,889
Uh, I got a question
about the pussy sleeve.
176
00:06:34,924 --> 00:06:37,419
Is it porous?
I-I'm sorry.
We gotta shut this down.
177
00:06:37,454 --> 00:06:39,256
What?! We're making
beaucoup bucks!
178
00:06:39,291 --> 00:06:41,599
Yeah, kid, we're not licensed
to sell adult toys
179
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:43,062
at 4:00 in the afternoon!
180
00:06:43,097 --> 00:06:45,537
She's not a toy! I designed her
to look like my real mother.
181
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,198
Come on out, Mom,
and say hello.
182
00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:49,574
Ugh. Go to the Lisa Rinna
Duster Cardigans!
183
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,643
[ Alarm ringing, ringing stops ]
184
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:54,744
April 1st?! The Day of Fools!
185
00:06:54,779 --> 00:06:57,208
I pity the fool who participates
in April Fools' Day!
186
00:06:57,243 --> 00:06:59,914
There are too many fools to pity
on this day!
187
00:06:59,949 --> 00:07:01,784
How about this?
Mr. T gonna start his day.
188
00:07:01,819 --> 00:07:03,148
Ha ha!
[ Bell dings ]
189
00:07:03,183 --> 00:07:05,018
Hm. Time to check
Mr. T's e-mail.
190
00:07:05,053 --> 00:07:07,625
Ah. Look at this here.
My friend Gary just e-mailed me
191
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:09,528
a link to a new
children's charity.
192
00:07:10,256 --> 00:07:12,861
Oh! It's a fool's
giant ding-a-ling!
193
00:07:12,896 --> 00:07:14,192
I hate this day!
194
00:07:14,227 --> 00:07:15,963
I'm now a fool I pity.
195
00:07:15,998 --> 00:07:18,361
I pity me -- Mr. T!
196
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,396
Announcer: Running
a summer camp for kittens
197
00:07:20,431 --> 00:07:21,969
seemed like the perfect
business venture.
198
00:07:22,004 --> 00:07:23,905
Oh, they're so cute!
199
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:25,676
And the best part is
Jason Voorhees
200
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:27,271
should leave us
alone this year
201
00:07:27,306 --> 00:07:29,306
since he didn't suffer any
childhood psychological trauma
202
00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,110
related to kittens.
That we know of.
203
00:07:31,145 --> 00:07:32,518
But little did they know...
204
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,883
Woman: Teenagers
are filthy, Jason!
205
00:07:34,918 --> 00:07:38,315
Greasy hormones
- spewing all over the place!
206
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,592
They must be punished!
207
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,254
[ Snoring ]
208
00:07:43,289 --> 00:07:46,422
Okay. This teenager's
a fucking dork. Next window.
209
00:07:46,457 --> 00:07:47,764
[ Cats purring and meowing ]
210
00:07:47,799 --> 00:07:50,536
Aah! Sluts!
Kitten sluts!
211
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,769
[ Cats yowling, knife plunging ]
212
00:07:54,806 --> 00:07:56,971
[ Sniffles ]
213
00:08:00,812 --> 00:08:02,207
Announcer:
Somewhere along the way,
214
00:08:02,242 --> 00:08:04,143
these movies stopped
being shocking,
215
00:08:04,178 --> 00:08:06,684
but we're pretty sure
we're onto something here.
216
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:08,147
[ Monitors beeping ]
217
00:08:08,182 --> 00:08:10,721
Ha ha!
Welcome to my house.
218
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,151
Why is it full
of sick kids?
219
00:08:12,186 --> 00:08:14,791
Oh, that's not your thing? What
-- What -- What's your thing?
220
00:08:14,826 --> 00:08:16,859
Sexy clowns. Mm!
221
00:08:16,894 --> 00:08:18,487
Alright. Well, that --
that checks out.
222
00:08:18,522 --> 00:08:20,291
Well, h-help me
- wheel them out onto the lawn.
223
00:08:20,326 --> 00:08:22,359
The sprinklers don't kick on
for another 20 minutes.
224
00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:25,395
Why do you smell like Mommy's
acid-washed jean jacket
225
00:08:25,430 --> 00:08:28,497
when she comes home from the
Morongo Casino, Resort & Spa?
226
00:08:28,532 --> 00:08:30,169
Good times!
227
00:08:30,204 --> 00:08:31,808
Shut the fuck up
and go back to sleep!
228
00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,403
I'm gonna -- Yeah.
This is creepy. Bye.
229
00:08:33,438 --> 00:08:36,010
W-Where are you going?!
Come on. Where you go-- Ugh.
230
00:08:36,045 --> 00:08:38,177
Okay. Your chart says you
sold your soul to hook up with
231
00:08:38,212 --> 00:08:41,411
a dude you met in a shipwreck,
and now you can't talk.
232
00:08:41,446 --> 00:08:43,919
Kids will do anything to get
to bone town these days, huh?
233
00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:47,549
Now, say, "Ahh."
Say, "Ahh."
234
00:08:47,584 --> 00:08:49,760
Can you do that?
Oh, right. Right.
235
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:51,828
Sorry.
- It's been a very long day.
236
00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:53,863
[ Crickets chirping faintly ]
237
00:08:56,032 --> 00:08:58,065
[ Clicking, message bloops ]
238
00:09:03,072 --> 00:09:04,401
[ Clicking, message bloops ]
239
00:09:04,436 --> 00:09:06,007
[ Owl hoots ]
240
00:09:10,882 --> 00:09:12,783
[ Clicking, message bloops ]
241
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,020
[ Romantic music swells ]
242
00:09:19,055 --> 00:09:20,626
[ Music stops ]
243
00:09:25,996 --> 00:09:28,766
[ Owl hoots ]
244
00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:33,562
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
245
00:09:40,978 --> 00:09:43,077
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
246
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:53,252
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
247
00:09:58,028 --> 00:10:00,127
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
248
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,038
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
249
00:10:19,511 --> 00:10:21,577
[ Clicking, message bloops,
phone buzzes ]
250
00:10:21,612 --> 00:10:22,721
Chicken:
251
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:23,953
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
252
00:10:23,988 --> 00:10:25,790
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
253
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,022
Chickens:
254
00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:28,254
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
255
00:10:28,289 --> 00:10:30,124
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
256
00:10:30,159 --> 00:10:32,489
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
257
00:10:32,524 --> 00:10:34,359
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
258
00:10:34,394 --> 00:10:35,459
Chicken: Ba-gawk!
259
00:10:35,494 --> 00:10:36,966
Man: Bawk.
260
00:10:38,629 --> 00:10:41,201
- I don't see him!
- Ha! I knew he wouldn't do it.
261
00:10:41,236 --> 00:10:42,598
Give me all your money,
penguins!
262
00:10:42,633 --> 00:10:43,775
Oh, no!
263
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,668
Penguin:
I can't fly! Splat!
264
00:10:46,703 --> 00:10:48,406
Wow! He saved us!
265
00:10:48,441 --> 00:10:50,441
Just like Batman!
266
00:10:55,415 --> 00:10:58,416
So, uh, what? We ding his
estate for the 50 bucks?
267
00:10:58,451 --> 00:10:59,923
Yeah. Let's go
confront his widow.
19542
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