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1
00:00:01,794 --> 00:00:05,235
[ Hammer clanging ]
2
00:00:08,273 --> 00:00:11,142
♪
3
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:12,704
[ Laughs ]
4
00:00:12,739 --> 00:00:23,451
♪
5
00:00:23,486 --> 00:00:25,882
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:25,917 --> 00:00:33,560
♪
7
00:00:33,595 --> 00:00:35,694
[ Laughter ]
8
00:00:35,729 --> 00:00:39,698
♪
9
00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:43,405
[ Laughter ]
10
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,803
Give me all your money.
Oh, please don't hurt me!
11
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:48,311
Not so fast, punk.
12
00:00:48,346 --> 00:00:50,709
Aah!
13
00:00:50,744 --> 00:00:52,678
Upside down now! Aah!
14
00:00:53,813 --> 00:00:55,318
Thanks, Spider Man!
15
00:00:55,353 --> 00:01:02,985
♪
16
00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:04,261
[ Thud! ]
17
00:01:04,296 --> 00:01:06,131
[ No sound ]
18
00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:09,530
Oh, hello, Kendra, I see you
posting that thirst trap.
19
00:01:09,565 --> 00:01:10,861
I mean,
a girl's gotta 'gram.
20
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,434
I bet you're going to have
a bunch of hunks
21
00:01:12,469 --> 00:01:13,897
sliding into your DMs.
22
00:01:13,932 --> 00:01:15,767
Man: Did someone say "DM"?
[ Cellphone chimes ]
23
00:01:15,802 --> 00:01:17,406
"Ooh. Is this a photo
of a desert?
24
00:01:17,441 --> 00:01:20,145
Because I can't handle
the thirst," ReplyGuy69.
25
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,708
Ugh!
No, not him again.
26
00:01:22,743 --> 00:01:25,073
Zip-zoop!
Tis I, Reply Guy,
27
00:01:25,108 --> 00:01:28,076
responding to women's posts
faster than the speediest Wi-Fi.
28
00:01:28,111 --> 00:01:31,453
R-R-R-Reply Guy ♪
29
00:01:31,488 --> 00:01:34,423
Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas!
30
00:01:34,458 --> 00:01:36,293
Fred Flintstone!
31
00:01:36,328 --> 00:01:38,053
You're the best Santa Claus
we ever had
32
00:01:38,088 --> 00:01:39,725
here Macyrock's
Department Store.
33
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,166
Here you go, kid.
34
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:44,169
Great Gazoo! Do you want
to sit on Santa's lap?
35
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,666
You stopped having a lap
in your 20s, fatso.
36
00:01:46,701 --> 00:01:48,800
Don't worry.
That joke's still cool.
37
00:01:48,835 --> 00:01:50,835
This episode aired in 1964.
38
00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:54,443
[ Laughs ]
- Very funny, wise guy.
Now scram.
39
00:01:54,478 --> 00:01:56,148
I'm spreading
Christmas spirit.
40
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,974
Fred, dum dum,
what year is it?
41
00:01:58,009 --> 00:02:01,549
This is the year
10,000 B.C.
42
00:02:01,584 --> 00:02:04,079
Do they teach you what B.C.
stands for
43
00:02:04,114 --> 00:02:05,289
in the School of Rock?
44
00:02:05,324 --> 00:02:07,588
Of course.
Before Christ.
45
00:02:07,623 --> 00:02:10,954
So you are celebrating
a holiday named after some dude
46
00:02:10,989 --> 00:02:13,957
who won't be born
- for another 10,000 years?
47
00:02:13,992 --> 00:02:15,398
What are you getting at?
48
00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:17,202
Well, I'll just show you.
- Aah!
49
00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,237
Oh!
What's the big idea?
50
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,668
A bunch of cavemen
celebrating Christmas.
51
00:02:21,703 --> 00:02:22,999
That's the big idea.
52
00:02:23,034 --> 00:02:25,771
You've literally broken
the time-space continuum,
53
00:02:25,806 --> 00:02:27,938
you fucking idiot.
54
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:31,106
Holy macaroni!
- On Zetox,
we always knew
55
00:02:31,141 --> 00:02:32,811
your timeline
was a danger to us,
56
00:02:32,846 --> 00:02:34,780
but we couldn't figure
it out until you rock humpers
57
00:02:34,815 --> 00:02:37,453
actually started
celebrating Christmas!
58
00:02:37,488 --> 00:02:38,487
Christmas!
59
00:02:38,522 --> 00:02:39,950
Which they did
in season five.
60
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:42,689
It's a shame when God's plan
goes wrong, ain't it, Gazoo?
61
00:02:42,724 --> 00:02:47,232
Say, how come you
can see Gazoo, Mr. Macyrock?
62
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:51,159
Only me, Barney, children
and animals can see Gazoo.
63
00:02:51,194 --> 00:02:53,403
Yes, my storyline
was insulting.
64
00:02:53,438 --> 00:02:54,767
Because, Flintstone!
65
00:02:54,802 --> 00:02:56,769
I'm Satan.
[ Laughs ]
66
00:02:56,804 --> 00:02:58,705
Holy shit, it's Lucifer,
the Lord of Hell,
67
00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:02,940
Quick, dum dum, Bedrock is
doomed if you don't kill Satan!
68
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:05,646
♪
69
00:03:05,681 --> 00:03:07,318
Announcer:
Will Fred kill Satan?
70
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,980
Will Betty get that
saber-tooth fur coat
71
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:13,082
or did Barney lose their
Christmas money shooting craps?
72
00:03:13,117 --> 00:03:17,460
Find out after these messages
for cigarettes and bourbon!
73
00:03:17,495 --> 00:03:18,791
♪
74
00:03:18,826 --> 00:03:20,331
[ Smooches ]
75
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,025
[ Laughs ]
76
00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:23,928
[ Rock music playing ]
Ooh!
77
00:03:23,963 --> 00:03:26,997
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!
78
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:31,276
Announcer: You screamed
when you met "Jaws."
79
00:03:33,874 --> 00:03:37,678
You couldn't believe your eyes
when you saw "The Meg."
80
00:03:37,713 --> 00:03:43,651
Now get ready
for the biggest shark yet.
81
00:03:43,686 --> 00:03:45,785
That's a pretty big shark.
That one?
82
00:03:45,820 --> 00:03:47,886
No. The one behind it.
83
00:03:47,921 --> 00:03:50,988
This summer,
stay out of the water.
84
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:52,858
Hell, stay off the planet.
85
00:03:54,499 --> 00:03:56,499
Sharks finally got
too big.
86
00:03:56,534 --> 00:04:00,063
"Big Fucking Shark
Fuck Fucking Shark Fuck:
87
00:04:00,098 --> 00:04:02,340
The Legend Begins."
88
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,837
♪
89
00:04:04,872 --> 00:04:07,741
You're my number-one guy.
[ Chuckles ]
90
00:04:07,776 --> 00:04:10,040
You looking to take in
any more strays? Woof-woof!
91
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:11,976
Ugh! Damn it,
Reply Guy!
92
00:04:12,011 --> 00:04:16,684
R-R-R-Reply Guy ♪
O-Oh, my God!
93
00:04:16,719 --> 00:04:19,489
With my Infant-o-Ray,
94
00:04:19,524 --> 00:04:24,219
I will turn all the people
of Earth into helpless infants.
95
00:04:24,254 --> 00:04:27,827
Enjoy crappin' your pants,
Space Ace!
96
00:04:27,862 --> 00:04:30,302
Oh, no! Aah!
97
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,733
Aging in reverse visibly!
98
00:04:32,768 --> 00:04:34,801
Blast! Only nicked him.
99
00:04:34,836 --> 00:04:37,034
Oh, man,
I'm a teenager again?
100
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:40,037
Wait! This means
- my parents aren't divorced yet.
101
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:43,414
Maybe if I get straight A's,
my mom won't stop loving my dad.
102
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:46,483
Yeah, but it's, uh,
not a time machine.
103
00:04:46,518 --> 00:04:49,750
[ Both grunting ]
104
00:04:49,785 --> 00:04:52,951
Wait, stop, uh, you're, um,
you're spotting.
105
00:04:52,986 --> 00:04:55,217
Yes, I'm Cheetah.
I have spots.
106
00:04:55,252 --> 00:04:57,527
No, you're --
you're spotting.
107
00:04:57,562 --> 00:04:59,056
Oh, shoot. Not today.
108
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:00,431
Hey, don't worry.
109
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,664
You know, I always carry
a spare tampon. Here.
110
00:05:02,699 --> 00:05:04,765
Oh, thank you,
Wonder Woman.
111
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,834
Girl code trumps arch
rivalry every time.
112
00:05:07,869 --> 00:05:09,605
I've been thinking
- about trying that Diva Cup.
113
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,739
Way better at handling
a super flow.
114
00:05:11,774 --> 00:05:13,807
Ugh!
- Fuck off, Flash!
115
00:05:13,842 --> 00:05:15,171
I will.
116
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:18,944
♪
117
00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:20,110
I knew it!
118
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:22,849
"Teen Wolf" did come out
in 1985.
119
00:05:22,884 --> 00:05:25,049
♪
120
00:05:25,084 --> 00:05:27,018
Turns out you're actually
size eight.
121
00:05:27,053 --> 00:05:28,855
Not that big after all.
122
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:33,090
Who am Bigfoot now?
[ Sobbing ]
123
00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:35,257
Man: Oh, yeah.
- [ Laughs ]
124
00:05:35,292 --> 00:05:38,095
Looks like someone's
having a naughty dream.
125
00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,438
Hate to kill the mood!
126
00:05:42,233 --> 00:05:44,200
What the hell, man?
127
00:05:44,235 --> 00:05:45,641
Oh, uh,
128
00:05:45,676 --> 00:05:47,038
I, um...
129
00:05:47,073 --> 00:05:48,578
[ German accent ]
Can we help you?
130
00:05:48,613 --> 00:05:52,142
I'm sorry. I'm --
I'm here to kill Jonathan.
131
00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,583
Well, he ain't here, capeesh?
132
00:05:53,618 --> 00:05:55,783
But this is his dream.
133
00:05:55,818 --> 00:05:57,587
Yeah.
He's having a sex dream
134
00:05:57,622 --> 00:06:00,084
about the Michelin Man
bonking Mr. Met.
135
00:06:00,119 --> 00:06:03,527
Oh, God. R-Really?
Hey, no judgment, right?
136
00:06:03,562 --> 00:06:06,222
Who cares?
Um, so he's not here?
137
00:06:06,257 --> 00:06:07,795
No.
138
00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:10,094
I guess I'll come back
another time.
139
00:06:10,129 --> 00:06:11,436
Ja. Auf Wiedersehen.
140
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,737
Oh, it worked.
You guys are the best.
141
00:06:15,772 --> 00:06:17,332
Hey, you got it, Jonathan.
Any time.
142
00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:18,608
So happy to help.
143
00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:21,006
You sure you guys don't want to,
you know, stay?
144
00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:22,546
Not after last time.
145
00:06:26,684 --> 00:06:28,981
Captain Planet!
146
00:06:29,016 --> 00:06:29,850
Oh, shit!
147
00:06:31,381 --> 00:06:32,556
[ Smooth jazz playing ]
148
00:06:32,591 --> 00:06:35,119
Argh! You hear that,
Captain?
149
00:06:35,154 --> 00:06:38,991
Aye. It be
the smooth jazz sirens.
150
00:06:39,026 --> 00:06:43,358
[ Smooth jazz playing ]
151
00:06:43,393 --> 00:06:46,735
It's so painful,
but so catchy!
152
00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:51,003
Resist it, me boy!
- Resist the smooth jazz! Argh!
153
00:06:51,038 --> 00:06:55,040
I -- I can't!
Rhythmically moving!
154
00:06:55,075 --> 00:06:58,516
No! Stephen, me boy!
[ Hissing ]
155
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:00,309
Aah!
156
00:07:01,719 --> 00:07:03,488
Argh! You want a tip?
157
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,754
Learn some Springsteen!
158
00:07:05,789 --> 00:07:08,757
[ Dramatic music ]
159
00:07:08,792 --> 00:07:33,650
♪
160
00:07:35,478 --> 00:07:37,687
[ Camera shutter clicks,
cellphone whooshes ]
161
00:07:37,722 --> 00:07:38,853
[ Cellphone chimes ]
162
00:07:38,888 --> 00:07:40,558
"This is funny,
and I am impressed
163
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,758
that you wrote it as a woman"?
164
00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,595
Reply Guy!
165
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,157
Who ordered the me?
No!
166
00:07:46,192 --> 00:07:47,928
Knock, knock!
Who's there? It's me!
167
00:07:47,963 --> 00:07:50,194
I think I might got glass
lodged in my scrotum.
168
00:07:50,229 --> 00:07:52,966
R-R-R-Reply Guy ♪
169
00:07:53,001 --> 00:07:57,201
Blocked?! No!
I'll see you on Twitter!
170
00:07:57,236 --> 00:07:59,335
You're watching E!'s
red carpet coverage
171
00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:02,371
where the biggest stars
of HBO are now arriving.
172
00:08:02,406 --> 00:08:03,614
There's one now.
173
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,517
It's Millennial Girl Toilet.
174
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,343
Hi.
175
00:08:07,378 --> 00:08:09,114
Wow.
Tonight you're nominated
176
00:08:09,149 --> 00:08:11,314
for "I May Destroy You"
and "Love Life."
177
00:08:11,349 --> 00:08:13,789
I haven't seen either and know
nothing else about you.
178
00:08:13,824 --> 00:08:15,923
Yes.
So many thrilling scenes
179
00:08:15,958 --> 00:08:18,662
where lead actresses pee
into me with the door open.
180
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:22,061
And your big break came
from appearing on "Girls"?
181
00:08:22,096 --> 00:08:25,262
Hmm. Lena Dunham
actually mentored me
182
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,463
as another young white woman
who's taken a ton of shit.
183
00:08:28,498 --> 00:08:30,333
Which HBO role has been
your fave?
184
00:08:30,368 --> 00:08:31,543
"Euphoria."
185
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:35,008
Teens would throw up into me,
dump pills into me
186
00:08:35,043 --> 00:08:37,373
and get their boxes
munched on top of me.
187
00:08:37,408 --> 00:08:38,649
Wow. Such range.
188
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,585
Anything coming up?
- Yes.
189
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,511
Half the new season of "Barry"
takes place in a men's room.
190
00:08:43,546 --> 00:08:46,151
Weird pivot,
- but Henry Winkler's a doll.
191
00:08:46,186 --> 00:08:47,856
Congrats, girl.
192
00:08:47,891 --> 00:08:49,627
Oh, look, it's the outhouse
from "Westworld."
193
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,629
Whose scat are you wearing
tonight?
194
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:54,698
Groggy wake from sleep.
What the?
195
00:08:54,733 --> 00:08:57,525
I don't remember anything
before waking up this morning.
196
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,769
Where am I. Who am I?
197
00:08:59,804 --> 00:09:03,531
Maybe these tattoos are a clue.
198
00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:05,973
Harold,
this is Rudy Tabuti.
199
00:09:06,008 --> 00:09:07,205
He loves to draw with chalk
200
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,306
as much as you love
your purple crayon.
201
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,847
You'll probably have
a lot to talk about
202
00:09:11,882 --> 00:09:13,981
or you'll continue
to be eerily quiet.
203
00:09:14,016 --> 00:09:15,312
We have to get you tested.
204
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,513
Why don't you two kids
go play?
205
00:09:18,548 --> 00:09:20,350
Wow.
A magic crayon.
206
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,386
That's cool,
- but I'll do you one better.
207
00:09:23,421 --> 00:09:25,289
Come on!
208
00:09:25,324 --> 00:09:27,632
Wanna go meet my friends?
209
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,062
Zoom-zoom!
210
00:09:29,097 --> 00:09:31,768
[ Coughing ]
Things move fast
in the Chalk Zone.
211
00:09:31,803 --> 00:09:35,871
♪
212
00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:37,642
[ Coughing ] Hey!
213
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:38,841
I guess I'll wing it.
214
00:09:38,876 --> 00:09:47,542
♪
215
00:09:47,577 --> 00:09:50,149
This is my world, kid!
You don't even stand a chance.
216
00:09:50,184 --> 00:09:52,789
Chalk was around long before
your dumb little crayon.
217
00:09:52,824 --> 00:09:55,154
♪
218
00:09:55,189 --> 00:09:58,553
[ Both grunting ]
219
00:09:58,588 --> 00:10:11,874
♪
220
00:10:11,909 --> 00:10:14,976
[ Roaring ]
221
00:10:15,011 --> 00:10:22,687
♪
222
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,150
[ Gunshots firing ]
223
00:10:24,185 --> 00:10:28,957
♪
224
00:10:28,992 --> 00:10:31,960
You think you won,
but you didn't.
225
00:10:31,995 --> 00:10:33,291
[ Laughs ]
226
00:10:33,326 --> 00:10:39,462
♪
227
00:10:39,497 --> 00:10:41,233
Millie: It was great
to see you, Caroline.
228
00:10:41,268 --> 00:10:42,465
We'll have to do
this more often.
229
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:45,039
Hurry up, Rudy,
stop slouching.
230
00:10:45,074 --> 00:10:46,040
[ Door closes ]
231
00:10:46,075 --> 00:10:48,405
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
232
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,407
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
233
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,915
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
234
00:10:52,950 --> 00:10:54,752
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
235
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,985
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
236
00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:58,888
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
237
00:10:58,923 --> 00:11:00,956
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
238
00:11:03,158 --> 00:11:05,257
Stoopid Monkey.
16470
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