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1
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:06,106
[ Theme music plays ]
2
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:07,374
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,746
♪
4
00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:18,084
♪
5
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,019
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:28,428
♪
7
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:29,562
[ Laughs ]
8
00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:34,901
♪
9
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:36,903
[ Laughs ]
10
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:42,108
[ Laughs ] Where are your red
balloons? I'm running low.
11
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,943
We're out of red balloons, actually,
12
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:46,946
but we have
these balloons.
13
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:47,981
I'll make it work.
14
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,283
[ Both grunting ]
15
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:51,918
♪
16
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,820
Stupid living skeletons.
17
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,555
What's even
holding you guys up?
18
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,590
My bones
are holding me up.
19
00:00:57,657 --> 00:01:00,226
Bones are connected
by ligaments and tendons.
20
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,761
I guess I don't get
what you're asking.
21
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,663
Oh, listen.
This is your ulna.
22
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,232
This is your radius.
This is your humerus.
23
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,635
Therefore, if I cut away
your ulna and radius
24
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,170
from the humerus
with my sword,
25
00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,505
like so...
What?! Dude!
26
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,207
...am I
even cutting through?
27
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,242
It's a containment field
that binds us together.
28
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,011
Where'd you hear that?
We all got a pamphlet
29
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:19,646
when they formed us
from the Hydra's teeth.
30
00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:23,550
And you read this pamphlet
with no eyes?
31
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:26,319
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You just blew my mind.
32
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,922
[ Gasps ] We don't have minds!
We don't have minds!
33
00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:31,124
See? It's bananas
from start to finish.
34
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,393
I'm flipping out, man.
I'm flipping the fuck out.
35
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:34,427
I'm scared, man.
36
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,929
Hold me tight.
I'm scared, too.
37
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,797
I'm just gonna leave you
to this.
38
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,532
♪ Tattoo, tattoo ♪
39
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:41,835
My Maui demigod powers
will be unmatched
40
00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:45,271
once I have the sea
tattooed across my back.
41
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:47,006
Uh-huh.
42
00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:48,808
And now a sneak peek at
43
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,311
the gender-flipped reboot
of "Splash."
44
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:57,116
Well, I'm certainly...hooked.
45
00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,986
I wish the Cat in the Hat
were here.
Me too.
46
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,155
As you wish.
47
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:03,490
I take it back.
What?
48
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,558
I'm experimenting
with my look.
49
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,394
You look like a reply guy
with a ska band.
What's a ska band?
50
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,097
You look like a Reddit user
with a podcast. Redditor...
51
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:12,599
You look like a guy
who watches
52
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:15,001
Little League games
through binoculars.
I hate sports!
53
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,569
You look like a guy
who sleeps
54
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:17,737
in the supply closet
of a GameStop.
55
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,273
You look like
Sugar Ray's tour manager.
56
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,742
I manage the shit out
of Sugar Ray.
57
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,513
If we're gonna find the ghost
that's haunting this old
58
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:28,515
rock 'n' roll venue,
we need to split up.
59
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:30,149
Daphne and I
will go this way.
60
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,051
And, like, Scoob
and I will go this way.
61
00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:34,020
Ha ha!
62
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:37,090
Oh. So the ugly one's left alone
to be murder bait again.
63
00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:39,359
Awesome, guys.
64
00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:41,294
Ohh!
[ Laughs evilly ]
65
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:42,962
You're trespassing
in the home
66
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,098
of the
Diabolical Disc Demon.
67
00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,466
Prepare to be --
68
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:47,834
Oh, fuck! Shit!
69
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,336
Let me guess.
You're a middle-aged white guy
70
00:02:50,403 --> 00:02:51,938
posing as a phantom rock star
71
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,840
in order to scare
some record producers
72
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:55,942
out of their royalties.
Well, when you summarize it,
73
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,477
I sound like
a fucking dork.
74
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:59,846
I'm going home to put my head
inside a box of wine.
75
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,348
You know,
I like boxed wine.
76
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:03,650
Ohh!
77
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:05,418
Oh, yeah!
Ow! I'm taking your vagina
78
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,554
straight to the top
of the charts, baby.
79
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,322
Should I --
Should I take the mask off?
80
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,657
No! Leave it on!
81
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:12,892
It stays.
Why break the mystery?
82
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,161
Velma: The Scooby gang never
caught another villain,
83
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,563
but I caught them all...
84
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,831
plus herpes
from the Miner 49er.
85
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:21,634
The Scooby gang's Yelp reviews
fell to zero stars.
86
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,169
Revenge was mine.
87
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,671
Velma,
can I tell you a secret?
88
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:28,942
Last time we all split up,
Fred and I made out.
89
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:32,011
Oh, Daphne, you're so bad.
90
00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:34,414
♪
91
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,448
Give me the child.
92
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,350
Let me rule over you, Sarah,
93
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,619
and you'll receive
everything a girl
94
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:43,957
could want. Love me,
and I'll forever be your slave.
95
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:47,226
Dude, I'm 16.
You are so canceled.
96
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:48,595
Canceled?! Now,
97
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,530
let's not blow this
out of proportion.
98
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,565
I mean,
we both made mistakes.
99
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,068
You,
you wished your brother away.
100
00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:56,436
Yeah.
I'm a moody teen.
101
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:59,172
You're an adult man
gyrating in spandex,
102
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:00,907
saying
you want to be my slave.
103
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,476
What's next? You gonna ask
for a picture of my feet?
104
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,678
You're so gross.
I'm an eternal being.
105
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,448
It's not sexual for me.
Look into the crystal.
106
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,950
You'll see a perfectly
reasonable explanation.
107
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,720
Oh, my God. And the magic
tricks you're always doing.
108
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:16,422
No way you learned those
to impress adult women.
109
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:19,392
Wait, is that why you stopped
time? So girls like me
110
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,893
will never turn 18?
111
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,061
Well,
now you're just twisting
112
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:23,630
everything
to make it seem worse.
113
00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:25,732
Oh, my God!
114
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:28,768
Just wait until
I post about this on Twitter.
115
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,536
Wait, Sarah. Come on now.
I'm begging you.
116
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,806
These goblins depend on me.
I have a career as a king.
117
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:37,143
Yeah. We haven't even
covered the power imbalance.
118
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:40,513
You're a monarch,
and I'm a babysitter.
119
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,815
I remember. [ Gasps ]
I remember the words!
120
00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:45,018
♪MeToo!
121
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,520
Ruinous response!
122
00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:50,490
Ooh!
This mattress is just right.
123
00:04:50,556 --> 00:04:52,992
It's not too big,
it's not too small.
124
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,228
Get out of my store,
you freak.
125
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,131
[ Slow music plays ]
126
00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:00,199
Dude. I can't believe
your dad volunteered
127
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,135
to chaperon the dance.
Ugh!
128
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:04,137
I know.
So embarrassing.
129
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,406
Hi, son.
Holy shit, dude.
130
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,607
Pig Boy's here.
131
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,409
- Pig Boy's here!
- He's right there!
132
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:10,777
[ Squeals ]
133
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,445
Young man: Pig Boy!
[ Snorting ]
134
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,747
Gah!
Pig Boy is so cool.
135
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,516
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
136
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:19,786
Dude! Pig Boy's
eating your dad's pants.
137
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:22,255
Okay, now, please -- Hey,
please stop chewing.
138
00:05:22,321 --> 00:05:23,690
Oh, my God!
139
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,792
Pig Boy, the most
popular boy in school,
140
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:28,928
is eating my dad's pants.
So cool!
141
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:33,099
Hey, Logan, is that your dad
being chased around by Pig Boy?
142
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,600
No, Pig Boy, stop.
143
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,536
Please, someone help me.
144
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:38,438
Uhh...yeah.
145
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,606
Wow.
You must be really cool,
146
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,508
if Pig Boy is chasing
your dad around.
147
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:44,911
Oh, you're crushing it,
dude!
148
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:47,747
Young man: Hey, is that your dad
getting eaten by Pig Boy?
149
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:52,118
Remember me as more
than just this torso.
150
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:55,421
Pig Boy totally ate your dad!
Awesome.
151
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:58,124
That makes Logan the second
most popular boy in school,
152
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,625
right behind Pig Boy.
153
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:00,793
That's the rule.
154
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,429
Together: [ Chanting ]
Logan! Logan! Logan!
155
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,998
[ Choking ]
Logan! Logan! Logan!
156
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:06,999
Aaahhhh!
157
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,000
Dude, bro,
158
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,802
Pig Boy's
choking on your dad.
159
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:10,970
[ Record scratching ]
160
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,972
Don't die on me, Pig Boy.
161
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,574
[ Squeals ]
162
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,842
[ Crowd cheering ]
163
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:17,543
Together: [ Chanting ]
Pig Boy! Pig Boy!
164
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:18,911
Oh, Pig Boy,
165
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,446
what would we do
without you?
166
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:21,748
Pig Boy! Pig Boy!
167
00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:25,485
Ah, here I go close
the time loop.
168
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,154
Into the steel.
No!
169
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,691
This is cheese.
Cheese?
170
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,127
Affirmative.
Nacho cheese.
171
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,362
- It's actually pretty good.
- Huh?
172
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:38,798
[ Siren chirps ]
Man: Hey, you kids!
Get out of the cheese!
173
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:42,335
Oh, no, it's his cheese!
Run!
174
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:48,341
Hey, if some hooded thug
comes at me, I stand my ground.
175
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:51,110
You step to me,
you're gonna fucking die.
176
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,517
Um, I'd like to file, like,
80 malpractice suits.
177
00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:01,387
Did I drink too much
beet juice again?
178
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:05,091
No, Anna.
You're getting your period.
179
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,994
Hello.
I'm Menstrual Care Bear.
180
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:10,296
I thought Care Bears
brought things like cheer
181
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,731
and birthday wishes.
182
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:13,599
Oh, we provide
whatever children need
183
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:14,867
at any particular moment.
184
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:18,905
Hugs, rainbows,
feminine hygiene products.
185
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:20,706
Let's go!
186
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,875
Why does this hurt
so much?
187
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,210
Uterine cramping.
188
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,379
Of course, the 5 pounds
of Funfetti frosting you
189
00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:28,514
just inhaled like an anteater
to distract
190
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,317
from the pain didn't help.
[ Laughs ]
191
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,986
Here, take some painkillers. Yay.
192
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:35,721
[ Grunting ]
Whee!
193
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:36,989
Whoopsie!
194
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:40,726
That may have been a bit
over the recommended dosage.
195
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:43,796
That's supposed
to go up there?!
196
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,531
But don't leave it in
for more than eight hours.
197
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:48,467
You could get
toxic shock syndrome and die.
198
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,635
I could what?!
199
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,237
Now, you get a running start,
200
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,105
and I'll spear
your vagina.
201
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:55,741
This is how all girls do it.
Ahhh!
202
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,811
Well, this has been fun,
but don't worry.
203
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:02,114
I'll be back before
you know it -- in 28 days.
204
00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,149
Every month?
205
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,650
This is the worst!
206
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:08,988
If I don't show up,
you get to meet Natal Care Bear.
207
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:12,825
Putting in a tampon's way easier
than getting your GED, kid.
208
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,493
Aaaaahhh!
209
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,430
They said it couldn't be done,
but I played "The Sims"
210
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:20,032
for eight days straight, living
on nothing but Alpine frost,
211
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:23,502
Mountain Dew, and Adderall,
and I'm doing fi--ine!
212
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:25,304
[ Snoring ]
213
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:26,339
[ Yawns ]
214
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:28,174
[ Speaking foreign language ]
215
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,343
Was that Simlish?
216
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:35,314
Oh, my God. I've "Jumanji'd"
myself into "The Sims"!
217
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,483
Good morning, sleepyhead.
218
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,886
You're my Sim wife?
219
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,921
Oh, my God! So cool!
220
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,089
Want to WooHoo?
221
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,925
I'm sorry.
Do you mean my Woo in your Hoo?
222
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,493
Yes, please.
223
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,295
WooHoo!
224
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,963
Wow, that was amazing!
225
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,299
I didn't even have to
take my clothes off.
226
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,468
Honey,
I think I'm pregnant.
227
00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:57,336
I'm gonna be a dad?
228
00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:59,639
I freaking love
being a Sim!
229
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:02,341
♪ Being a Sim
is the best kind of life ♪
230
00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:05,177
♪ Just had a baby
with my super-hot wife ♪
231
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:09,548
♪ Not clear what my job is,
but it pays real good ♪
232
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:11,851
Check it out.
I bought a spaceship!
233
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:16,956
♪ And if I run out of money,
I just say "rosebud" ♪
234
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,958
♪ I love being a Sim ♪
235
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:22,028
[ Deep voice ]
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
236
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:25,765
Wow, another great day
of being a Sim!
237
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,533
What the...
238
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,169
Oh, God!
It's happening again!
239
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,437
He's getting bored.
240
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,805
Who's getting bored?
241
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,207
The teenage boy
who controls our universe.
242
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:39,412
Every now and then, he gets
bored, and things go bad.
243
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,380
Hey, he deleted
the bathroom.
244
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,582
He knows that without it,
we'll piss ourselves.
245
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:45,117
And he thinks
that's funny.
246
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,819
That sick son of a...
247
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,087
[ Sloshing ]
Aw!
248
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,790
You know,
that is kind of funny.
249
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:54,694
Does it eventually evaporate,
or do we have to clean this?
250
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,596
We have to go. Soon he'll start
dropping people in pools
251
00:09:57,663 --> 00:09:59,465
so they drown.
To the spaceship!
252
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,269
Whee! Ha ha!
Aah!
253
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,272
See you in hell,
mysterious demigod.
254
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,975
Aah!
Oh, no. Aah!
255
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:12,778
♪
256
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:16,482
[ Gasps ] Oh!
Oh, my God. It was me all along,
257
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:20,619
I was the bored demigod
torturing those poor Sims.
258
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:21,854
[ Sniffing ]
259
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,389
Oh, man. And I pissed myself
for real.
260
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,257
Well, this isn't fun at all.
Well, I guess
261
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:28,728
I'll just take out my anger
on those digital hostages.
262
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,896
They don't really have
feelings after all.
263
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:31,931
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
264
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,265
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
265
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,267
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
266
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,435
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
267
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:37,770
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
268
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,605
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
269
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:40,606
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
270
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:41,841
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
271
00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:43,743
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
272
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,778
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
273
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,016
Stoopid Monkey.
19687
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