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1
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,509
[ Theme music plays ]
2
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,844
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:18,417
♪♪
4
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:23,755
♪♪
5
00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:26,058
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:33,498
♪♪
7
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,500
[ Laughs ]
8
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:40,072
♪♪
9
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,141
[ Laughs ]
10
00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,744
Oh, yeah.
I'm ready.
11
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,779
Give it to me,
Rube Goldberg.
12
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:50,215
Hold on.
Let me put on a condom.
13
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,155
[ Mouse squeaking ]
14
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:58,657
Oh, uh...
15
00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:01,226
Hm.
16
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,361
Mm-hmm.
17
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,429
Mm, yeah.
18
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:08,133
Uh, uh...
19
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,469
Uh...hmm.
20
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:11,937
Mm?
21
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,772
Oh, um...
22
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,974
Oh, um, oka-- okay?
23
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,077
[ Train horn blows ]
Mm. Uh...
24
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,114
I've lost my erection.
25
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,384
Hey, hey!
26
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,720
Who's knock-knocking
on Genie's door?
27
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,122
Hi, uh, Mr. Genie.
28
00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:33,125
I'm one of the bell-ringers
you magically created
29
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,660
for Prince Ali's parade
today.
[ Clanking ]
30
00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:37,929
Uh-huh.
Yeah,
I-I just remember
31
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:42,100
appearing next to 30 other dudes
dressed in these weird hats
32
00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:44,970
pumping these bells
up and down in the air.
33
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,438
Like,
do you know who I am?
34
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:47,572
Do I have a name?
35
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,274
I mean, I know
I'm damn good at bells.
36
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,443
[ Chuckles ]
Uh, Bellford.
Bellford's your name.
37
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:54,246
Okay, Bell Jar-Jar Binks.
Uh, I should turn in.
38
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,282
And you know the 53 peacocks
and 95 white Persian monkeys
39
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:58,650
we were singing about?
40
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,653
Can you wish me, uh,
some white Persian monkey food?
41
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,355
They fling poo
when they're hungry.
42
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:05,123
Kevin, buddy,
I don't make the wishes.
43
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,258
I make the magic.
44
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,926
What happens afterwards,
I quite literally
45
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,494
don't give a shit.
Door slam.
46
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,064
[ Animals calling ]
It's a no, guys.
47
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:17,135
A pen. I gave Diane my heart,
and she gave me a pen.
48
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,204
Woman: Well,have you tried the pen?
49
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,743
Whoa! Ooh!
50
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,416
[ Both moaning ]
51
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,655
We must stop
before Barbie sees us.
52
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:37,989
Barbie: Ken.
[ Gasps ]
53
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:41,359
Ken, Ken, why did I find this
in our bedroom?
54
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,495
[ Dramatic music plays ]
55
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,130
Frilly underwear.
56
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,532
[ Dramatic music plays ]
Oh, no.
57
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:50,001
That's nothing, darling.
I --
[ Doorbell rings ]
58
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:52,070
Who could that be?
At this hour?
59
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,738
[ Dramatic music plays ]
60
00:02:53,773 --> 00:02:55,240
Totally Tattoo Barbie?
61
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,175
But I thought
you were discontinued.
62
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,377
I may have been discontinued,
but I never die.
63
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:01,213
In fact, I've totally been
living next door
64
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:03,148
and sleeping with Ken
for months.
65
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,916
[ Giggles ]
You are totally
full of lies.
66
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:05,984
Oh, yeah?
[ Gasps ]
67
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,986
[ Dramatic music plays ]
68
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,321
Slap, slap!
[ Doorbell rings ]
69
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,389
Who could that be?
At this hour?
70
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,725
[ Dramatic music plays ]
Holiday Memories Barbie?
71
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,993
What are you doing here?
72
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,395
I had amnesia, but I finally
got my memory back.
73
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,898
I remember all the holidays
I spent with you,
74
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:24,169
which led me to remember that
I am, in fact, your twin sister.
75
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,738
It can't be.
I don't remember you.
76
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,673
You got amnesia, too,
Barbie.
77
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,009
I mean, look at us.
We're identical.
78
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,045
[ Doorbell rings ]
Another guest?
At this hour?
79
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,215
[ Dramatic music plays ]
Picture Pockets Barbie,
what are you doing here?
80
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,684
I have a picture in my pocket
that you need to see.
81
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,721
[ Dramatic music plays ]
[ Gasps ] Ken!
How could you?
82
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:43,855
Slap, slap!
83
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,690
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
Slap!
84
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:49,427
I'm sorry, Barbie, but there's
also something you must know.
85
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,029
[ Dramatic music plays ]
I am also your twin.
86
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,364
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ] Oh, yeah.
87
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,367
I also forgot to mention,
I'm also your long-lost twin.
88
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,368
Oh, my!
[ Gasps ]
89
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,103
I have to admit
something, too.
90
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,438
Barbie,
I am also your twin.
91
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,374
[ Dramatic music plays ]
92
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,375
Oh!
93
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,610
Together: Ken, my love!
Oh, no!
94
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:06,979
We've got to get him
to the hospital.
95
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,750
[ Dramatic music plays ]
My God, my twin!
96
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,418
Oh, my God!
97
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,755
[ Dramatic music plays ]
My God, could it be?
98
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,757
My long-lost twin brother?
99
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:22,093
I finally found you.
Oh, no.
100
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,562
I hate to say this
to my own twin brother,
101
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,499
but, Ken, you have a brain
tumor, and you are going to die.
102
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:30,135
[ All crying,
speaking indistinctly ]
103
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,903
I also have something
to say.
104
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,672
It's a good thing
we're at the hospital
105
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,441
because I'm pregnant...
[ Barbies gasp ]
106
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,643
with your baby.
Mine?
107
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,278
[ Flatline ]
108
00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:41,413
[ All crying,
speaking indistinctly ]
109
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,448
Not my brother!
110
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:45,450
[ Crying ] How will I ever
replace my Ken?
111
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:48,753
Did somebody say "Ken"?
[ Dramatic music plays ]
112
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,289
He-llo.
113
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:56,161
I can't wait to see
what Totoro looks like now.
114
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:58,129
Me, too.
Okay, Totoro,
115
00:04:58,164 --> 00:05:01,133
come on out and show us
how much weight you lost.
116
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,003
[ Both scream ]
117
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,504
Oh, my God!
118
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:08,807
My eyes, my eyes!
119
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,008
Ugh, where am I?
120
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:13,511
Hello, Mark.
I want to play a game.
121
00:05:13,546 --> 00:05:16,481
If you can't saw off
both your arms in 1 minute,
122
00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:18,616
10 gallons of acid
will drop from the ceiling.
123
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,720
Oh, my God.
You still ride a tricycle?
124
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,222
What are you, 4?
[ Laughs ]
125
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,493
[ Crying ]
Hey, kiddo.
126
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,896
Aw, another victim make fun
of your trike?
Yes.
127
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:35,200
Well, maybe it's time
I teach you how to ride a bike.
128
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,802
This is terrifying.
129
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,671
♪ Jigsaw and Billy
riding bikes together ♪
130
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:43,408
♪ Nothing they can't weather
with love on their side ♪
131
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:46,711
♪ I know you're afraid,
but there's nothing to fear ♪
132
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:52,517
♪ 'Cause Daddy is here
to fill you with pride ♪
I'm doing it.
I'm doing it.
133
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,986
[ Gasps ] Huh?
What's going on?
134
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,390
Hello, Justin.
I want to play a game.
135
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,158
You have to cut off
your testicles,
136
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,559
then cut out your eyes,
137
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,928
put your eyes where your nuts
were, and vice-versa.
138
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,264
[ Laughs maniacally ]
Holy shit.
139
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:07,999
You are a natural
on that bicycle.
140
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,667
[ Bicycle bell dings ]
141
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,436
Thanks for the shirt,
guys.
142
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,772
I-I can't believe
you think I'm the world's --
143
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,808
Ah!
There can be only one!
144
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:22,080
Narrator:
He was a championship coach
who took on the impossible.
145
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,549
The hell was that?
146
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,618
Foul!
147
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,253
Announcer:
The Harlem Globetrotters
are running rings
148
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,556
around
the Washington Generals.
Oh, my God.
149
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:35,193
The players are getting
hypnotized with an umbrella.
150
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,262
Narrator: They told him
it was impossible.
151
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:38,596
Coach,
it's not a real game.
152
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:41,399
Yeah, you're telling me.
Guy did a cartwheel out there.
153
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,067
That's not traveling?
154
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,736
Nah,
don't you get it?
155
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:46,905
Our team has been told
to lose.
156
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,940
By who, society?
157
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,809
But he wouldn't give up.
158
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,777
We're going to play
with the circus.
159
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:54,879
We're going to train
with the circus.
160
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,915
[ Elephant trumpets ]
161
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,316
Are those elephants?
162
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,485
But just when victory
seemed within reach...
163
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,553
Great practice, guys.
164
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,087
A little more
trampoline work,
165
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,656
and we're --
what's this?
166
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:07,325
We're the Baltimore Rockets
now.
You're leaving me?!
167
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,427
Nah, they just
change the name sometimes
168
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,162
so it looks like
the Globetrotters
169
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,330
play multiple opponents.
170
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,565
We're the same team.
171
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,800
Narrator:
...he lost it all.
[ Grunts ]
172
00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:16,801
Chair!
Ah!
173
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,570
-[ Grunts ]
-Oh!
174
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,004
Go to hell!
175
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:21,573
You're not leaving me.
176
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,741
I'm leaving you.
Whoa!
177
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,577
Narrator: This summer...
Let's do it for Coach.
178
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,845
Flying chair!
179
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,549
You ready to be
0 and 16,006?
180
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,585
[ Ting! ]
181
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:38,156
...the best way to win
is to actually start trying.
Slam dunk.
182
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,091
[ Groaning ]
Slamming the du-u-nk!
183
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,759
You're not
supposed to win.
184
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,828
And angels
aren't supposed to fly.
185
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,498
[ Buzzer ]
[ Chuckles ]
Glitter bucket.
186
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,667
Oh, what are you idiots doing?
I hired you to lose.
187
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:52,203
Oh, I'm ruined,
ruined.
188
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:55,440
Excitement,
hoot, and holler!
189
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,310
"The Washington Generals."
190
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,714
Hey, Arnold, why you looking
so glum on this beautiful day?
191
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,048
It's Mother's Day.
192
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:06,518
I never got to meet mine
because she died in childbirth.
193
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,119
Oh, God.
[ Grunting ]
194
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,555
Come on, Mrs. Shortman,
just one more push.
195
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,156
You can do it, honey.
196
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:13,992
Oh, God!
Oh, my God!
197
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,060
Is that a football?
I've got him.
I got him.
198
00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:17,829
[ Grunts, screams ]
199
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:19,497
[ Blows whistle ]
It's good.
[ Car alarm blaring ]
200
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:22,434
Turns out, dads can die
in childbirth, too.
201
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:27,405
Well, hello there,
ladies.
202
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,507
We were actually hoping
your hot brother was here
203
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,909
to take our order.
204
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,911
You ladies want to skip the
movie and take turns making out?
205
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,245
Yeah.
Sure, Drake.
206
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,914
[ Grunts ]
207
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,682
[ Groans ]
Drake has it so easy.
208
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,418
If I looked like him, I'd be
the one getting the girls.
209
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,420
Josh, I don't pay you
to monologue.
210
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,756
Get back to work.
But Drake
just left his shift
211
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,391
to go make out
with girls again.
212
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,593
Well, maybe
if you looked like him,
213
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,195
you'd get the same allowance
as he does as a hot person.
214
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:52,864
If only there was a way
215
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,533
to take his face off his face
and put it on my face
216
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:58,369
and take my face off my face
and put it on his face.
217
00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,671
Hmm.
218
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:03,041
Another day of minimum work
thanks to my face.
219
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,110
[ Both grunt ]
220
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,747
[ Groans ]
What happened?
221
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:12,083
Aah!
Ooh, what's up,
brother?
222
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,851
I know
we're not related,
223
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,254
but now it's like
looking in a mirror.
224
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,022
W-Why do you have
my face?
225
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,424
So sorry, brother,
226
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,893
but your days of being
the hot, popular one are over.
227
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,929
I took your face off your face
and put it on my face
228
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:28,032
and took my face off my face
and put it on your face.
229
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,368
I feel like there's got to be
an easier way to say that.
230
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,402
There isn't.
231
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:33,071
Now,
if you'll excuse me,
232
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:35,273
I have a harem of tween girls
to attend to.
233
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,375
Ta-ta.
Not my tween groupies.
234
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,777
[ Grunting ]
Hug me, brother.
235
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:41,246
Drake!
236
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,716
Surprise.
Where did you get a gun?
237
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,784
Someone on the street
gave it to me 'cause I'm hot.
238
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,419
Rhetorical question,
brother,
239
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,788
because I've had the same thing
happen to me my whole life.
240
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:52,557
Bang-bang!
241
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,693
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
Rat-tat-tat-tat-
tat-tat-tat-tat!
242
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,330
Indiscriminate firing!
243
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,132
That's it.
Josh, you're fired.
244
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,101
But Josh -- I-I mean,
Drake started it!
245
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,636
Doesn't matter.
He's hot.
246
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,904
He's allowed to start shootouts
in public places.
247
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,106
Thanks, babe.
Aah!
248
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,375
Dodge.
249
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,647
[ Siren wailing ]
[ Coughs ]
250
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:19,917
Arrest me.
I don't care.
251
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,619
I'll still be hot and popular
in prison.
252
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,021
Yeah,
a pretty boy like you
253
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,189
is bound to get a lot
of attention in the slammer.
254
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,125
Ah, I didn't think
this part through. [ Chuckles ]
255
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,159
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
256
00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,694
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
257
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,529
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
258
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,630
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
259
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:33,931
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
260
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,967
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
261
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:36,934
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
262
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,202
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
263
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:40,104
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
264
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,340
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
265
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,211
Stoopid Monkey.
19205
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