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1
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♪♪
2
00:00:06,004 --> 00:00:08,004
[ Chuckles ]
3
00:00:13,001 --> 00:00:17,024
♪♪
4
00:00:17,026 --> 00:00:19,026
Man: It's alive!
5
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:27,019
♪♪
6
00:00:27,021 --> 00:00:28,023
[ Thunder rumbles ]
7
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♪♪
8
00:00:38,008 --> 00:00:39,013
You can count on me sir.
9
00:00:39,015 --> 00:00:42,005
If you have any mice,
I'll clear them out.
10
00:00:42,007 --> 00:00:43,017
♪ Ooh-rah, ooh-rah ♪
11
00:00:43,019 --> 00:00:45,001
♪ Ooh-rah, ooh-rah, ooh-rah ♪
12
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[ Screaming ]
13
00:00:46,027 --> 00:00:47,024
♪ Ooh-rah ♪
14
00:00:47,026 --> 00:00:50,008
Uhhhhh...
15
00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:51,022
Uh, all right.
16
00:00:51,024 --> 00:00:53,025
[ Screams ]
17
00:00:53,027 --> 00:00:55,007
You're all clear!
18
00:00:55,009 --> 00:00:57,011
Now I shall teach you
to defeat a boggart,
19
00:00:57,013 --> 00:01:00,017
which takes the form
of your deepest, darkest fear.
20
00:01:00,019 --> 00:01:02,021
Neville, why don't you go first?
21
00:01:02,023 --> 00:01:06,015
♪♪
22
00:01:06,017 --> 00:01:08,016
Oh, curious.
It turned into you.
23
00:01:08,018 --> 00:01:09,024
I wonder why.
24
00:01:09,026 --> 00:01:11,012
I have a small penis!
25
00:01:11,014 --> 00:01:13,007
That's not... that's not true!
26
00:01:13,009 --> 00:01:15,003
Fine! I'll prove it.
Zip!
27
00:01:15,005 --> 00:01:17,009
Okay. That's enough.
Why don't we try someone else?
28
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:18,012
Weasley?
29
00:01:18,014 --> 00:01:19,023
Oh, uh... uh, I don't want to.
30
00:01:19,025 --> 00:01:22,001
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
31
00:01:22,003 --> 00:01:24,026
Ah. A spider.
That's much more typical.
32
00:01:24,028 --> 00:01:27,000
Ron has a small penis!
33
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[ Chuckling ]
What? No, I do not.
34
00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:30,023
Oh, yes, you do.
35
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It's like, ooh...
36
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,008
Okay.
You know what?
37
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,019
Why don't we try a girl
this time?
38
00:01:34,021 --> 00:01:35,024
Hermione.
39
00:01:35,026 --> 00:01:37,028
No, no, no, no.
Please, don't make me.
40
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[ Gasps ]
41
00:01:42,003 --> 00:01:43,007
What?
42
00:01:43,009 --> 00:01:45,007
I'm what Hermione thinks
a penis looks like.
43
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[ Chuckles ]
She's terrified of me.
44
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[ Hisses ]
45
00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:49,013
What would I do with it?
46
00:01:49,015 --> 00:01:51,020
Shake it? Stir it?
47
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[ Sobbing ]
48
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:55,023
We really need to start
a health class or something.
49
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♪♪
50
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Announcer: No need to ask him
which water tastes best.
51
00:02:02,006 --> 00:02:05,024
Evian... The official water
of the CIA.
52
00:02:05,026 --> 00:02:07,024
Actually, I really
loved "Hamilton."
53
00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:10,000
It was no "Cats," but sure.
54
00:02:10,002 --> 00:02:12,010
- Give me your money!
- Aah!
55
00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:14,020
Billy Blanks says you got
to squat and punch.
56
00:02:14,022 --> 00:02:17,007
Squat and punch and work it.
Work it.
57
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Squat.
Punch!
58
00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:19,020
- Ow!
- Punch!
59
00:02:19,022 --> 00:02:20,029
I'm destroyed.
60
00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:23,026
Whoa!
You know karate!
61
00:02:23,028 --> 00:02:25,011
Oh! That was Tae Bo!
62
00:02:25,013 --> 00:02:27,007
Billy Blanks taught me in '97.
63
00:02:27,009 --> 00:02:30,009
I just panicked, and it...
it came back to me!
64
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Your money or your life!
65
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I've got this.
66
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,012
Squat and kick.
Work it.
67
00:02:35,014 --> 00:02:36,094
- Work it.
- Squat and kick!
68
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Oh. Ow!
69
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Kick!
70
00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:42,009
Are you checking your pulse?
71
00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:44,020
Yeah, well, Billy
was big on cooling down.
72
00:02:44,022 --> 00:02:47,015
- Surprise!
- Steve, do something!
73
00:02:47,017 --> 00:02:48,021
I don't know any more moves!
74
00:02:48,023 --> 00:02:51,001
- Maybe I can help you!
- Oh, shit.
75
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:51,026
- Billy Blanks!
- Billy Blanks!
76
00:02:51,028 --> 00:02:53,024
Let's work this out together.
77
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Billy and Steve:
Squat and kick
78
00:02:55,010 --> 00:02:57,010
and squat and punch and work it!
79
00:02:57,012 --> 00:02:58,019
- Kick!
- And work it!
80
00:02:58,021 --> 00:03:00,000
Punch!
81
00:03:00,002 --> 00:03:01,005
Thanks for your help, Billy!
82
00:03:01,007 --> 00:03:02,028
It is the Tae Bo way.
83
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,016
Let us give you a ride home.
84
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,006
Ah, no need.
I live in this alley.
85
00:03:06,008 --> 00:03:08,008
Oh.
86
00:03:08,010 --> 00:03:10,015
Give me the baker's dozen.
87
00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:13,024
Yeah! Glaze me!
Glaze me!
88
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,022
Here comes the money shot!
89
00:03:15,024 --> 00:03:17,003
Oh, yeah!
90
00:03:17,005 --> 00:03:19,010
[ Gargling ]
91
00:03:19,012 --> 00:03:21,010
You're ruining baking.
92
00:03:21,012 --> 00:03:23,010
[ Sniffing ]
93
00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:24,029
Free cocaine!
94
00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:26,026
Oh, being a lab mouse rules!
95
00:03:26,028 --> 00:03:28,010
Ugh.
96
00:03:28,012 --> 00:03:30,023
How come they get drugs and
I get a fuckin' ear on my back?
97
00:03:30,025 --> 00:03:32,016
Let me switch cages.
98
00:03:32,018 --> 00:03:35,020
Man:
Let's modify their environment.
99
00:03:35,022 --> 00:03:36,019
[ Both laugh ]
100
00:03:36,021 --> 00:03:37,028
Hey, let's have sex.
101
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,015
Keep it down!
I can hear you!
102
00:03:40,017 --> 00:03:41,028
I want to switch cages.
103
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,022
Man:
Now let's pierce the ear.
104
00:03:43,024 --> 00:03:45,018
Wait.
Why the fuck would you...
105
00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:47,018
Oh, God!
What the fuck is this?!
106
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:49,022
Eh, cool earring, bro!
107
00:03:49,024 --> 00:03:52,001
You should come party
in our cage!
108
00:03:52,003 --> 00:03:53,016
[ Both groaning ]
109
00:03:53,018 --> 00:03:55,007
Oh. On... on... on second
thought, this... this...
110
00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:56,025
this cage is kind of nice.
111
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:59,006
I can work with this.
No big deal at all.
112
00:03:59,008 --> 00:04:01,018
Son, Old Yeller has got rabies.
113
00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:04,010
He's got to be put down.
114
00:04:04,012 --> 00:04:05,023
I... I'll do it.
115
00:04:05,025 --> 00:04:07,005
[ Sniffles ]
116
00:04:07,007 --> 00:04:07,029
[ Sobs ]
117
00:04:08,001 --> 00:04:10,010
[ Blam! ]
118
00:04:10,012 --> 00:04:12,002
Well done, Son.
I know that was hard.
119
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That was awesome!
120
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[ Blam! Blam! Blam! ]
121
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Yeah!
122
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Yeah. [ Grunting ]
123
00:04:22,019 --> 00:04:24,015
Now I'm Old Yeller!
124
00:04:24,017 --> 00:04:26,015
Bark, bark, bark!
Woof, woof, woof!
125
00:04:26,017 --> 00:04:28,000
Grawr-awr-awr!
126
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,014
Whuh-oh.
Looks like our son has rabies.
127
00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:32,022
Give me that gun.
I'll do it.
128
00:04:32,024 --> 00:04:34,011
Good evening.
129
00:04:34,013 --> 00:04:36,022
After losing my legs
mountain climbing,
130
00:04:36,024 --> 00:04:39,000
I used my background
in biotechnology
131
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to create fully functioning
bionic legs.
132
00:04:41,025 --> 00:04:43,012
- Oh, wow, robo-legs.
- Wow, robo-legs!
133
00:04:43,014 --> 00:04:44,026
That's right.
With this remote,
134
00:04:44,028 --> 00:04:48,002
I can control where I walk
and how fast I walk.
135
00:04:48,004 --> 00:04:49,021
Dad!
This sucks!
136
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:50,025
I want to leave.
137
00:04:50,027 --> 00:04:52,027
Billy, I told you to go wait
in the car.
138
00:04:52,029 --> 00:04:54,004
You don't control me!
139
00:04:54,006 --> 00:04:55,014
I control you!
140
00:04:55,016 --> 00:04:56,026
Billy.
Billy, put... Billy.
141
00:04:56,028 --> 00:04:58,009
Put it down, Billy.
142
00:04:58,011 --> 00:04:59,023
Aah! Aaaaaaah!
143
00:04:59,025 --> 00:05:01,020
Aah! Billy.
Put it down, Billy.
144
00:05:01,022 --> 00:05:04,002
[ Laughter ]
My son, ladies and gentlemen.
145
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,007
[ Laughs ]
146
00:05:06,009 --> 00:05:07,021
Oh, watch out for the wall.
147
00:05:07,023 --> 00:05:09,027
Thanks for coming
to my TED Talk.
148
00:05:09,029 --> 00:05:11,029
- Is that Mall Madness?
- Yeah.
149
00:05:12,001 --> 00:05:15,022
Let's shop until we drop!
150
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:17,016
Announcer:
The classic board game is back
151
00:05:17,018 --> 00:05:20,025
and all-new for your generation.
152
00:05:20,027 --> 00:05:22,027
Is this what malls are like?
153
00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:24,004
I don't know.
154
00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:26,011
I've never gone further
than the Cheesecake Factory.
155
00:05:26,013 --> 00:05:28,017
Mall Madness is just like
a real mall
156
00:05:28,019 --> 00:05:29,029
with real announcements!
157
00:05:30,001 --> 00:05:33,016
Active shooter in the building.
This is not a drill.
158
00:05:33,018 --> 00:05:35,024
- Whoa!
- It's just like school!
159
00:05:35,026 --> 00:05:38,004
We really will shop
till we drop!
160
00:05:38,006 --> 00:05:39,013
[ Laughs ]
161
00:05:39,015 --> 00:05:41,017
Announcer: The new Mall Madness,
only available online.
162
00:05:41,019 --> 00:05:44,004
[ Hawk crying, wind whistling ]
163
00:05:44,006 --> 00:05:46,013
So I tell the TSA agent,
164
00:05:46,015 --> 00:05:47,014
"If you really need
to search inside,
165
00:05:47,016 --> 00:05:49,016
hey, be my guest."
166
00:05:49,018 --> 00:05:50,021
[ Laughter ]
167
00:05:50,023 --> 00:05:52,001
Eggs Benedict
for the Holy Grail.
168
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,022
Denver omelet for
the Ark of the Covenant,
169
00:05:53,024 --> 00:05:56,022
and chocolate chip pancakes
for the Sankara Stones.
170
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:59,010
My diet starts tomorrow.
171
00:05:59,012 --> 00:06:02,028
We really should do
a regular MacGuffin bruncheon.
172
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,006
[ Chuckles ]
173
00:06:04,008 --> 00:06:05,004
Guys!
174
00:06:05,006 --> 00:06:06,027
Fancy seeing you all here.
175
00:06:06,029 --> 00:06:09,026
I guess I must have
missed the invite.
176
00:06:09,028 --> 00:06:11,003
[ Chuckles ]
177
00:06:11,005 --> 00:06:12,007
I'll take care of this.
178
00:06:12,009 --> 00:06:14,014
Calm down. We can make it
through breakfast.
179
00:06:15,016 --> 00:06:17,015
Man: Not so fast,
criminals.
180
00:06:17,017 --> 00:06:20,016
You've met your match
with Ant-Man.
181
00:06:20,018 --> 00:06:22,021
And the Wasp!
182
00:06:22,023 --> 00:06:24,019
And Scabies!
183
00:06:24,021 --> 00:06:26,015
What is a scabies bug
doing here?
184
00:06:26,017 --> 00:06:28,008
Well, I got scabies
a few weeks back,
185
00:06:28,010 --> 00:06:30,022
and when I was shrunk,
I really connected with them.
186
00:06:30,024 --> 00:06:32,003
Aw, you are so cute!
187
00:06:32,005 --> 00:06:34,003
I thought he could help us
fight crime.
188
00:06:34,005 --> 00:06:36,026
Scabies! Yack! Yack!
Yack! Yack! Yack! Yack!
189
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:38,012
[ Groaning ]
190
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:40,004
Ugh.
I feel itchy.
191
00:06:40,006 --> 00:06:42,000
I'm going to go get checked.
192
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,025
I checked her out,
and she's fine!
193
00:06:44,027 --> 00:06:46,011
♪♪
194
00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:47,018
Scabies!
195
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:49,000
Sue Ann!
196
00:06:49,002 --> 00:06:50,008
I think your grandmother
197
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,019
left a toy on the porch for you.
198
00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:53,006
Oh, boy, a Ponzi!
199
00:06:53,008 --> 00:06:55,013
Its eyes change color
based on its mood.
200
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,021
Teal means happy.
Yellow is hungry.
201
00:06:57,023 --> 00:06:59,026
Honestly, that's kind of creepy.
202
00:06:59,028 --> 00:07:02,010
What's red for?
203
00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:04,002
Aah!
Oh, my God.
204
00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:06,026
I am Ponzi, destroyer of worlds,
205
00:07:06,028 --> 00:07:08,013
flayer of field mice!
206
00:07:08,015 --> 00:07:10,020
Surrender your body,
and your progeny lives.
207
00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:13,024
I don't negotiate
with terrorists!
208
00:07:13,026 --> 00:07:14,025
Bang! Bang, bang!
209
00:07:14,027 --> 00:07:16,007
Very well.
210
00:07:16,009 --> 00:07:19,016
We have other ways
of procuring a body.
211
00:07:19,018 --> 00:07:20,020
No! Aah!
212
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,024
[ Ponzis laughing maniacally ]
213
00:07:21,026 --> 00:07:23,028
Ahh.
214
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,018
Sorry I am tardy,
215
00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:28,014
but I have brought
complimentary playthings
216
00:07:28,016 --> 00:07:30,010
for all of your family.
Cool.
217
00:07:30,012 --> 00:07:33,002
Now, let us discuss
Earth's nuclear codes!
218
00:07:33,004 --> 00:07:35,044
Phil, you have a cat sticking
out of your ass again.
219
00:07:36,026 --> 00:07:38,029
Half-breed brother.
220
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,026
How dare you come to Atlantis...
221
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,016
Aah!
222
00:07:43,018 --> 00:07:45,001
...and challenge me.
223
00:07:45,003 --> 00:07:46,020
Hey, hold up.
Did you just pee?
224
00:07:46,022 --> 00:07:47,017
Yes!
225
00:07:47,019 --> 00:07:49,014
You couldn't wait
to use a toilet?
226
00:07:49,016 --> 00:07:50,018
A what?
227
00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:51,015
Well, hold on.
228
00:07:51,017 --> 00:07:53,025
You all just pee wherever?
229
00:07:55,028 --> 00:07:57,022
Yes!
It's the ocean!
230
00:07:57,024 --> 00:07:59,015
It's disgusting is what it is.
231
00:07:59,017 --> 00:08:01,020
How dare you judge Atlantis,
232
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,020
the most advanced
civilization on...
233
00:08:03,022 --> 00:08:06,008
Okay.
Whose poop is this?
234
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,015
Hey.
Hey, there, kid.
235
00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:09,003
How you doing?
236
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,027
[ Sobbing ]
237
00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:13,000
I know. I know,
but killing your dad,
238
00:08:13,002 --> 00:08:14,021
Dracula, was kind
of the whole point
239
00:08:14,023 --> 00:08:17,018
of what we're
doing though, right?
240
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:18,028
Daddy!
241
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,019
Oh, come on.
Come on.
242
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:23,012
Half-vampire, half-humans
don't sob like that.
243
00:08:23,014 --> 00:08:24,020
Let's be a big boy.
244
00:08:24,022 --> 00:08:30,010
Look, Sypha made you a cake.
245
00:08:30,012 --> 00:08:32,010
It's sugar free and vegan.
246
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,012
[ Sobbing ]
247
00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:36,014
You cooked a vampire
a vegan-sugar-free cake
248
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,027
to try to cheer him up?!
249
00:08:37,029 --> 00:08:38,025
So? So what?
250
00:08:38,027 --> 00:08:39,016
Get out!
251
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,008
Get out of here!
252
00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:42,024
Fuck off!
Leave the cake, and get out!
253
00:08:42,026 --> 00:08:45,012
Try and do something nice.
254
00:08:45,014 --> 00:08:48,013
You're going to get
through this.
255
00:08:48,015 --> 00:08:51,016
Oh, goddamn,
this cake is the worst.
256
00:08:51,018 --> 00:08:53,022
We're going to get through
this together!
257
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,006
Fuck you!
258
00:08:56,008 --> 00:08:57,026
- Fuck this cake!
- Fuck this cake!
259
00:08:57,028 --> 00:08:59,014
[ Cheers and applause ]
260
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,006
♪♪
261
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:04,022
He's so hot!
262
00:09:04,024 --> 00:09:06,029
[ Farting, liquid sloshes ]
263
00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:09,002
Aah!
264
00:09:09,004 --> 00:09:14,005
[ Farting continues ]
265
00:09:14,007 --> 00:09:16,014
♪♪
266
00:09:18,026 --> 00:09:21,022
Alexa, play some
elevator jazz, please.
267
00:09:21,024 --> 00:09:22,027
Alexa: Okay, Mike.
268
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,024
I found a smooth jazz playlist
269
00:09:24,026 --> 00:09:26,014
in your Amazon Music account.
[ Smooth jazz plays ]
270
00:09:26,016 --> 00:09:28,004
- Mm-hmm.
- Ahh.
271
00:09:28,006 --> 00:09:30,005
That music is so nice.
272
00:09:30,007 --> 00:09:32,025
It almost makes me forget
we're out of milk.
273
00:09:32,027 --> 00:09:34,002
[ Cellphones chime ]
274
00:09:34,004 --> 00:09:35,013
Huh.
That's weird.
275
00:09:35,015 --> 00:09:38,008
I just got an offer to buy
some milk from Amazon Fresh.
276
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,011
So did I.
277
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:42,020
Are you listening to us
all the time?
278
00:09:42,022 --> 00:09:45,027
[ Whirring softly ]
279
00:09:45,029 --> 00:09:47,013
No.
280
00:09:47,015 --> 00:09:51,007
♪♪
281
00:09:51,009 --> 00:09:54,020
Organic milk, instant delivery
with Amazon Fresh.
282
00:09:54,022 --> 00:09:57,028
- Subscribe now.
- Stop telling us to buy stuff!
283
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,004
"Stuff Magazine" is available
for subscription
284
00:10:00,006 --> 00:10:02,029
or single issue purchase.
285
00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:05,004
Yeah!
For freedom!
286
00:10:05,006 --> 00:10:06,022
Whoa-oh!
287
00:10:06,024 --> 00:10:10,003
American flags, now with free
2-day shipping.
288
00:10:10,005 --> 00:10:14,029
Aah!
289
00:10:15,001 --> 00:10:20,018
Customers also bought clothes,
boots, and a motorcycle.
290
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,021
[ Sobbing ]
Okay. You win.
291
00:10:22,023 --> 00:10:26,016
Add milk to shopping cart
and checkout.
292
00:10:26,018 --> 00:10:29,009
This is pretty convenient
actually.
293
00:10:29,011 --> 00:10:31,003
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
It actually is.
294
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,019
[ Smooth jazz plays ]
295
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:48,004
♪♪
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