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1
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:04,871
[ Whirring ]
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,973
[ Theme music plays ]
3
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,344
[ Whirring ]
4
00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:18,184
♪♪
5
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,619
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:27,660
♪♪
7
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:28,795
[ Thunder rumbles ]
8
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:37,370
♪♪
9
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,076
Shame! Shame!
[ Sheeps baaing "shame" ]
10
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,445
Shame! Shame!
11
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,616
Excellent.
So, you're not going to talk.
12
00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,985
Then how about a dip
in my lava Jacuzzi?
13
00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:53,353
[ Clears throat ] Megatron,
14
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:55,455
you're sure this is
a Maximal in disguise
15
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,056
and not just a plain,
old panda?
16
00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:59,592
Of course, Scorponok.
Look at his smug face.
17
00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:00,960
[ Panda squeaking ]
18
00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:03,930
I'm just asking 'cause these
little guys are endangered,
19
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,265
and, well, pretty adorbs.
20
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,267
Yes, I'm --
I'm not a monster.
21
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,968
I wouldn't murder
a real panda.
22
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:10,036
You're loving this,
aren't you?
23
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,304
[ Panda laughs ]
24
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:12,839
-Eat hot lava, Maximal!
-Aah, no!
25
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,941
Sir! He's so helpless
and so cute!
26
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:15,875
Cute!
27
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:17,811
Ohh,
he's such a little baby!
28
00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:18,912
Oh, my God,
did you see that?!
29
00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:20,914
Wow, I was really
ready to do it.
30
00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:22,949
I mean, who am I anymore?
31
00:01:23,015 --> 00:01:25,752
It's the war. Been out here
too long, Megatron.
32
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,021
Yes. I may have PTSD,
33
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:30,323
but that is
a fucking Maximal.
34
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,894
[ Gasps ] Holy shit,
that was close.
35
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,196
Oh, phew!
36
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,164
Shit, that's the deepest
character work I've ever done.
37
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,466
Oh, my God,
I almost fucking died!
38
00:01:39,532 --> 00:01:41,768
[ Panda screeching ]
39
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,137
[ Dumpster wheels squeaking ]
40
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:54,247
♪ Hello, mama, what's cookin'
on the stove today? ♪
41
00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:57,250
Oh, my baby's home
for Thanksgiving.
42
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,252
Michigan, say hello
to your cousin.
43
00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,454
[ Dramatic chord plays ]
44
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,590
Oh, hello, Pepe.
45
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:05,358
How about that election,
huh?
46
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,227
Bet you Hollywood
types aren't happy.
47
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,095
Hollywood types?
Educated types?
48
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:10,562
Folks-with-all-their-teeth
types?
49
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,398
Literally-the-whole-planet
types?
50
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,733
Now, boys!
51
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,635
Ohh, I'm sowwy.
52
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,870
Feels bad, man.
53
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:19,105
Does the special snowflake
need his blankie?
54
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:21,641
Could you salt these potatoes
with your liberal tears?
55
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:22,876
Ohh!
Get my mother's potatoes
56
00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,711
out of your Nazi
fuck-ing mouth
57
00:02:24,777 --> 00:02:26,546
[ Both grunting ]
58
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,349
[ Doors lock ]
59
00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:30,950
I'm not a Nazi, Michigan.
60
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,086
I'm just scared
of the future.
61
00:02:33,152 --> 00:02:35,188
Guys like me are
getting left behind.
62
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,156
I know you're not
a bad dude, Pepe.
63
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,025
You used to be a fun,
hilarious guy
64
00:02:39,091 --> 00:02:40,660
until you were co-opted
by those
65
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,496
Alt-Right shit buckets for
their own nefarious purposes.
66
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,865
They took something
pure and perverted it.
67
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:50,236
They owe your creator -- I mean,
your dad -- a big apology.
68
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:51,938
Frogs,
you've been bailed out.
69
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,107
-By who?
-By future generations.
70
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:55,675
They'll be cleaning up
the Dumpster fire
71
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,645
your generation
started for decades.
72
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:00,613
[ Laughs ]
Nah, I'm playing.
73
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,115
This old lady
bailed you out.
74
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,684
Come home
for pumpkin pie, boys!
75
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,387
This has been the best
Thanksgiving ever!
76
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,656
And maybe this president
won't be so bad!
77
00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:11,558
[ Laughter ]
78
00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:13,593
[ Explosion ]
79
00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,866
I hate children!
80
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,735
Ever since Monster Mountain
was shrunk down and sent here,
81
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:25,271
we've been too tiny
and pocket-sized to scare them!
82
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:26,906
[ Grunts ]
-[ Grunts ]
83
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,577
That good, concise summary
of things we already knew, rah!
84
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:32,045
-Boo!
-[ Screams ]
85
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:33,913
[ Panting ]
86
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:35,781
[ Laughs ]
Screams make us bigger.
87
00:03:35,848 --> 00:03:38,017
If we scare people,
we'll return to full size.
88
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,552
And then we will
be unstoppable!
89
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,387
The world will be ours!
-Rah!
90
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:44,156
You not need hold our hands.
We get it, rah.
91
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:47,527
Look, the evil monsters got
bigger when the child screamed.
92
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:50,228
But we're good monsters and
don't want to make kids scream.
93
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:53,600
Let's make them scream
with laughter, man.
94
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,501
What? Talking bugs?
95
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:58,103
[ Laughing ]
Oh, man, I'm so wasted.
96
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,174
Uh, uh, we'll get bigger
every time you laugh.
97
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,775
Okay,
make me laugh, bugs.
98
00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:05,345
Why do golfers bring
two pair of pants, man?
99
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,615
In case they get
a hole in one.
100
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:11,884
Cool. I think I hear
my weed calling, so...
101
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,553
I'm-a go.
-Wait. Got to read the room.
102
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,255
[ Clears throat ]
Um, a guy's buying condoms.
103
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,991
Cashier says,
"You want a bag?"
104
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,026
The guy says, "No, thanks.
She's not that ugly."
105
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,996
-Ha, ha, ha!
-But, look, we're growing.
106
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:25,031
What's the difference between
a hooker and a drug dealer?
107
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,300
A hooker can wash her crack
and sell it again.
108
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,002
[ Laughs ]
109
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:30,570
I don't get it, man.
110
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,306
Sorry, villains.
111
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,508
Joy will defeat fear
every time.
112
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:36,876
Say, man,
where'd the mummy go?
[ Cellphone chimes ]
113
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:40,079
Hmm, "Following my dreams."
Signed, "Mummy"?
114
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,782
We've got a great
show tonight, okay?
115
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:46,552
Fetty Wap is here, okay?
Stick around.
116
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,721
[ Cheers and applause ]
117
00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:50,189
Pizza, pizza.
118
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:51,891
Aww!
119
00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:54,260
Et tu, Brute, Brute?
120
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:56,863
I'd build you a shield,
but I'm too hungry.
121
00:04:56,929 --> 00:04:59,232
My favorite food
is three apples.
122
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,933
If I had two more apples,
123
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,436
I'd have the strength
to build a shield.
124
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,272
I can't use this.
I can't use this.
125
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,175
Wait, what is this?
What are you showing me?
126
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,611
There's a world
beyond this room?
127
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,513
[ Sighs ]
128
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,782
It's so big.
I had no idea.
129
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,650
I love making potions.
130
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:20,019
I just wish I had
enough spring water.
131
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,354
Ha-ha!
Okay.
132
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,523
I love making potions!
133
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:25,591
I just wish --
-Get away from me, man!
134
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,226
-I love making --
-I said get away!
135
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:28,795
Miss, Miss,
I need help.
136
00:05:28,861 --> 00:05:31,297
Do you know
where I left my hat?
137
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,866
I think I saw it
over by the tree.
138
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,269
-No!
-I need 10 fish scales
139
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:38,004
to build a chain mail.
140
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,739
Would you like
to save your game?
141
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:42,041
We're slaves!
Wake up, people!
142
00:05:42,108 --> 00:05:45,111
[ Yawns ] I need four coins
to wake up.
143
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,813
You've cursed me
with this knowledge,
144
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,848
this unattainable
promise of more!
145
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,983
I want things to go back
to how they were.
146
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:53,252
[ Sobs ] Thank you!
147
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:56,022
Yum!
Now I can build you a shield.
148
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:57,123
[ Hammer clanks ]
149
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,325
No! No!
Apples and shields.
150
00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:00,993
That's all there is.
Apples and shields.
151
00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,830
They're called
Creepy Crawlers.
152
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,698
You squirt the liquid
into these molds,
153
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,401
then stick them in this
heater at 390 degrees.
154
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:09,435
When the kids pull them out,
155
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,537
they get icky, sticky,
weird creatures.
156
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:14,474
What kind of dumbass would
buy this crap for their kid?
157
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:18,111
Oh, hush, dear. I'll fill the
molds, and you can bake them.
158
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:20,880
[ Oven sizzling ]
159
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,116
Hmm. I'm not getting
any younger here.
160
00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:26,052
[ Screams ]
-[ Screaming ]
161
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,289
[ Muffled screams ]
162
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,425
[ Screaming ]
163
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,994
[ Sobs ]
Where is my husband?!
164
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,395
No, no!
165
00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:38,030
Nobody died. Approved!
166
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:39,265
Martini time!
167
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:41,834
I'm not racist, but...
168
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,370
This is for bachelor
number three.
169
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:48,374
I think a man's voice
is his sexiest attribute.
170
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,709
Uh...
171
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,677
[ Chuckles nervously ]
172
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:56,415
My name is Professor
Wile E. Coyote.
173
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:59,585
Welcome to Criminology 101,
or as I like to call it,
174
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,354
"How to Get Away With Murder."
175
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:03,689
I present to you now
the most diabolical
176
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,925
and un-solvable
murder of all time,
177
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,661
clearly perpetrated
by a super-genius.
178
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:12,765
The victim, a Mr. Road Runner,
Accelerati incredibilus.
179
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,701
His remains were found here
in a shallow grave.
180
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,037
Nearby, receipts from
the Acme Corporation
181
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,839
stained with
the Road Runner's blood.
182
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,275
How did the killer
combine these objects
183
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:24,210
into a clockwork-precise
homicide delivery system?
184
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,045
Uh, I doubt he did.
185
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,313
-Excuse me?
-Ball bearings?
186
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,248
A hang glider?
Birdseed?
187
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:30,650
A giant U-shaped magnet?
188
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,885
Most killers are dumb.
Occam's razor, right?
189
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,687
That Road Runner
probably got hit by a car.
190
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,589
The killer was not dumb.
191
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:38,224
He was --
-[ Yawns ]
192
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,759
That does it!
Field trip!
193
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:42,628
I was just taking
this class as an elective,
194
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,564
and now I'm in
the butt-fucking desert.
195
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,533
Now, watch. I poured
the birdseed on the road.
196
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,671
Then the ball bearings
go in the birdseed like so.
197
00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:54,273
Try putting ball bearings
in your oatmeal tomorrow
198
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,242
and see if you notice or not.
Christ!
199
00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:58,678
Watch closely,
and tell me it's not
200
00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,913
diabolical in its precision!
201
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,548
[ Sighs ] I whish I brought
a Lunchable.
202
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:05,017
I love Lunchables.
203
00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:07,787
Acme is mandated by the
Department of Homeland Security
204
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,322
to post lists of individuals
205
00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:10,890
who purchase rocket-powered
merchandise.
206
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,425
-Everyone knows that!
-Fuck off, James.
207
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:14,627
According to Acme,
they only sold one
208
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:17,096
rocket-powered
hang glider ever!
209
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,364
To that guy!
210
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,633
[ Screaming ]
211
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,502
[ Groaning ]
212
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:24,537
Thanks to you kids,
213
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,739
the Road Runner's murder
is solved.
214
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,007
It's funny.
215
00:08:28,074 --> 00:08:29,475
If Professor Coyote
had just hit the Road Runner
216
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,310
with his car,
nobody would have known.
217
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:33,546
He was brought down
by his own ego.
218
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,014
Who wants Lunchables?
219
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:36,616
Uh, me. I do.
220
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:40,553
♪♪
221
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:41,953
Whoo!
222
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,056
Mary-Kate and Ashley
Do Tijuana!
223
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,292
Party!
224
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,960
Jet skis!
225
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,095
Lunch!
226
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:50,429
More agua, señoritas?
227
00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:54,100
Enjoying your vacatión?
Dónde está your parents?
228
00:08:54,165 --> 00:08:55,935
IDK. Arizona?
229
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,603
Perfecto!
230
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,972
[ Laughs ]
231
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,975
I had so many, uh,
Shirley-a Temples
232
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,244
I can't even remember
which twin I am.
233
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:06,612
Eek!
234
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,649
No! Ashley!
235
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,183
Wait, am I Ashley?
236
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,587
I will find you
because I have skills --
237
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,756
a very particular
set of skills,
238
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:21,027
like tap-dancing and looking
cute while riding a horse!
239
00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:22,828
I'm gonna save you!
-Oh, my God, no!
240
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,797
I'm saving you!
-Aw!
241
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,733
[ Groans ]
242
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,136
You run away while
I distract them.
243
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,171
No, you distract them,
and I'll --
244
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,106
I'd never leave you.
-Aw!
245
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,108
-Put these on.
-Oh, my God, Ashley!
246
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:37,343
Do you know
what this means?
247
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,378
-Fashion montage!
-Fashion montage!
248
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:42,081
Unh-unh.
249
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,685
No.
250
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,720
Oh!
251
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,355
[ Laughing ] Yeah!
252
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,390
Ooh, nice!
253
00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:53,726
Twin virgins! Yeah!
254
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,094
Yep.
255
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,030
-Um...
-Mary Kate!
256
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,266
We said we were gonna lose
our virginities together!
257
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,434
Okay, kinda weird.
258
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,069
I've been a terrible twin.
259
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,304
No, I have. I shouldn't
have yelled at you.
260
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,206
It's okay.
I forgive you.
261
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,075
Mm, yeah, that's it.
262
00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:11,911
[ Laughs ] Yeah, now kiss.
Yeah!
263
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,347
Both:
Ew! We're sisters, you sicko!
264
00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,482
[ Both grunting ]
265
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,185
♪♪
266
00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:20,453
[ Both sigh ]
267
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:21,821
[ Grunts ]
268
00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:22,989
[ Guns cock ]
269
00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:25,057
[ Man groaning ]
270
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,326
Twin power! Guns! Yeah!
271
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:29,996
[ Grunts ] Take that,
Jabba the Ugh!
272
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,664
Oh, my God,
you are so funny.
273
00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,132
Stop it. You're taller.
274
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,934
-Oh, you stop it.
-Stop it!
275
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:37,236
[ Moaning ]
276
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,705
Oh, we're sisters.
277
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:40,740
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
278
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,074
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
279
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,076
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
280
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,244
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
281
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,579
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
282
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,414
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
283
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,415
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
284
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,750
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
285
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,752
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
286
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,987
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
18649
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