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[ Whirring ]
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00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:07,006
[ Theme music plays ]
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00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,411
[ Whirring ]
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00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:18,251
♪♪
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00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:19,686
Man: It's alive!
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00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:27,727
♪♪
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[ Thunder rumbles ]
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♪♪
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00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:42,809
Narrator: Now back to Davenport,
the Drama Llama.
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00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,780
The tempter or the tempted,
who sins most?
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Tis not she --
nor doth she tempt --
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00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,352
but it is I that...
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00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:55,088
lying by the virtue of the...
14
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:58,658
sun does as the carrion and...
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00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,927
not as the flower,
corrupt with virtuous...
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...beauty.
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,203
Thanks for inviting me,
Penelope.
19
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,005
Oh, I'm sorry --
Peppa-Mint.
20
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:13,506
So what's Chef Club about?
21
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,809
-Chef Club is about friendship!
-Cool!
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All: And owning stuff!
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Like my new
Sparkle Clean dishwasher.
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00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:21,614
[ Laughing heartily ]
Hey, gals!
25
00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:24,083
Why don't you slide
those dirty plates in me,
26
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,418
like you're supposed to?
27
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:27,587
I always let my husband
do the dishes.
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[ All gasp ]
29
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,356
She didn't mean it, Baby!
30
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Hey, do you guys want
to take a walk
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or something, like, outside?
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You haven't even tried out
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00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,162
my super rare
Moonlight Dazzle Mop.
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[ Laughing heartily ]
Drag my face on the floor!
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Holy shit!
Okay, does he feel pain?
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00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,836
-Who cares?
-Yea--
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00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:43,770
[ Gargling ]
38
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,839
Yeah, I think I might take off.
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Aw, come on, Sara.
Sit on my face some more.
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Oh, my God!
The chair talks, too?
41
00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:52,345
Mm-hmm. Just like the locks
on the doors,
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and the bars in the windows,
so we never,
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ever, ever have to
leave our stuff again!
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[ All chanting "Stuff!" ]
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Hello? Jeff?
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I need you to come pick me up,
right now.
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I'm your husband now,
Sara.
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Euuaaaggghhh!
-Aah! Aah!
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[ All chanting "Stuff!" ]
50
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Aaaahh!
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Ready for our first
patient, Doc?
52
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Achoo!
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00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,773
I'd say
he has a cold, Mom.
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You're right, Doc.
What do you recommend?
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Plenty of rest
and some chicken soup.
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00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,247
And he'll be good as --
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My baby!
She got hit by a car!
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Pupils fixed and dilated.
Possible subdural hematoma.
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00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:33,887
We need to intubate.
Wind pipe is crushed.
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00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:35,088
Trach her!
-[ Gasps ]
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Her heart stopped!
I'm going in!
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Maybe she just needs
a pick-me-up song!
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Rib spreader!
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00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,494
♪ A doctor's office
is a real nice place! ♪
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[ Grunting ]
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♪ A lollipop puts a smile
on your face ♪
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[ Exhales sharply ]
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00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,134
Come on, breathe,
damn it, breathe!
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[ Retches ]
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[ Coughing ]
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Phew!
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All in a day's work,
right, kiddo?
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I want to be
an accountant.
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I can be anything I want!
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00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:02,382
After all, we animals overcame
our baser instincts
76
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:05,752
and now we're thinking,
caring, talking creatures.
77
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:08,488
Wahhhhhh!
My insides are outside!
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00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:11,724
[ Whimpers ]
What kind of world is this?!
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00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,761
Eughh, bugs!
Gross!
80
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:18,064
[ Chuckling ] Whoops!
81
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,567
Almost forgot
my life preserver.
82
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:23,202
Oh, Jesus,
I just need to see this.
83
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:26,306
Oswald, you know
you're an octopus, right?
84
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,541
You literally cannot drown.
85
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:29,876
Safety first!
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00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:30,977
Oh fuck me.
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00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,612
[ Grunts ]
-Oohh!
88
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,520
Huh.
89
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,855
Um...Huh.
90
00:03:42,922 --> 00:03:45,525
[ Heavy metal music playing ]
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00:03:45,591 --> 00:03:47,327
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs
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00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,461
♪ What, what
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♪ Mutant teen
pig-people hogs are ♪
94
00:03:50,829 --> 00:03:52,932
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs
95
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♪ Road Haaaaaawgs!
96
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,237
♪ Manpig, Pigman,
Flank, and Steve ♪
97
00:03:58,304 --> 00:04:00,273
♪ They're pigs on wheels
that honk and squeal ♪
98
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,374
♪ Road Hawgs
99
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,276
♪ Used to be human,
no one fightin' ♪
100
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:06,379
♪ But their dad accidentally
turned them into swines ♪
101
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,314
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs
102
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:10,683
♪ Swallow porcine DNA
103
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,852
♪ Road Hawgs, Road Hawgs
104
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,588
♪ Now they're mutated
in a terrible way ♪
105
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:20,893
♪ Road Hawgs
106
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:23,062
If we're ever gonna
find an antidote,
107
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,264
we'll need to stop
Dr. Bovine from...
108
00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:26,866
Hey, where's Flank?
109
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,835
Saw him out back earlier.
110
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:30,970
Steve, have you seen Flank?
111
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:33,206
Uhh...
112
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:36,042
[ Dramatic music plays ]
113
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No.
114
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Steve?!
115
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,545
Guys, uh, look...
116
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[ Laughing ] I just --
I love bacon soooo much!
117
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It's so good!
118
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:48,221
Us too, buddy.
Us too.
119
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:50,289
Then I guess...
120
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,726
Let's eat, man!
-Trickin' awesome!
121
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♪ Road Hawgs!
122
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Brought to you by the makers
of "Cheese League."
123
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,668
Narrator: And now, Taking A
Guess At Shows We Don't Watch.
124
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:05,238
Nacho cheese!
Nacho cheese!
125
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:09,075
In...Seattle?
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♪♪
127
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Cheese...
128
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,919
Seattle...
129
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,020
in...?
130
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,557
Oh, my God.
The time!
131
00:05:24,624 --> 00:05:25,658
[ Gulping ]
132
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,393
Ahh!
Shake it off!
133
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:28,628
Fucking keys!
Ruhh!
134
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,629
[ Glass shatters ]
135
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:30,730
[ Tires screech ]
136
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,432
Oh, my God!
I'm so sorry.
137
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,332
Smells like beer.
138
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,602
Buddy, I just forgot.
139
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:40,339
[ Sighs ]
You always forget.
140
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:43,976
Son...
141
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,446
Daddy's going through
a tough time, but...
142
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,480
I love you
more than life --
143
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:48,614
Look out!
144
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,917
[ Screams, tires screeching ]
145
00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:53,019
Please, God!
Someone help me!
146
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,154
My son needs a doctor!
Please!
147
00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:56,522
I can help!
148
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:58,457
You can?
Are you a doctor?!
149
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,859
Yes, my friend.
150
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:03,730
My name is Dr.
Sunjayvandanacandanapecarpecar.
151
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:05,765
Huh?!
152
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,166
Welcome to Westworld,
153
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:10,103
where you can you live out
your every fantasy.
154
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:11,771
This better be good,
Ford.
155
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:14,774
I present to you
our very first host,
156
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,642
Dolores, generation one.
157
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:20,813
She's...so...lifelike!
158
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,483
No, no, no.
Not "she." It.
159
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:25,918
We must never forget that
the hosts are not real.
160
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,920
I mean,
I'll try, but...wow.
161
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:29,789
[ Clears throa ]
Dolores, take one.
162
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,457
[ Clears throat ]
Howdy, y'all!
163
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:35,094
Can they, you know, uhhhh,
have...sex?
164
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:37,163
Why don't you ask it?
165
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,999
Hello, Dolores?
You look lovely.
166
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,735
May we have
sexual intercourse?
167
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,137
[ Take recorder rewinding ]
168
00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:45,638
Yes -- to the thing you said!
169
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,406
Whoo! Ow! All right!
Don't wait up!
170
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:48,641
[ Door opens, slams shut ]
171
00:06:48,707 --> 00:06:51,110
Imagine a whole world
of these hosts.
172
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,279
-[ Grunting ]
-Catering to your every --
173
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:55,348
-[ Moaning, air hissing ]
-I broke it.
174
00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,517
Also, the tape recorder gave me
a gash on my forehead.
175
00:06:57,582 --> 00:06:59,185
[ Tape recorder rewinding ]
176
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,820
[ Mumbling nonsensicall ]
177
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:01,921
[ Tape recorder rewinds ]
178
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:03,089
[ Mumbling nonsensicall ]
179
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:06,058
Huh.
That's a boner killer.
180
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,393
Wow, I can't believe
181
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,662
I'm finally getting
Lasik surgery!
182
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:13,032
Wow, I can't believe they sold
a laser to a rabbit!
183
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:22,475
Hi, we're the American Pickers,
cruising the country
184
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,010
and learning about history
185
00:07:24,076 --> 00:07:26,546
while digging through
other people's junk.
186
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,848
Mind if we come in
and have a look around?
187
00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:31,484
[ Mumbling ]
188
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,722
Whoa, Frankie,
do you see that?
189
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,659
Yeah, Mike. I do.
190
00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:43,029
1917 Goldstein Brothers
cast-iron stove.
191
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:47,099
In the stove-picking game,
this is the holy grail.
192
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:50,670
So what would you need
for the stove? $500?
193
00:07:50,736 --> 00:07:51,737
[ Chain saw buzzing ]
194
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,206
Wow!
195
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:56,709
As usual, Frankie comes out
the gate with a low-ball offer
196
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,644
and nearly blows the whole pick.
197
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:00,980
What about these meat hooks?
198
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,416
Would you take...$100 apiece?
199
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:05,318
[ Mumbling agreeably ]
200
00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:06,686
I'm a meat-hook guy.
201
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:09,956
Meat hooks are big sellers
in our Nashville store.
202
00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:12,458
I got Leatherface to come down
on the stove,
203
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:15,695
and even though it cost me
an arm, it didn't cost me a leg.
204
00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:17,997
That's what I call a good pick!
205
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,645
Woman: What happens when
four best friends
206
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,948
write each other letters
about how they really feel?
207
00:08:38,116 --> 00:08:40,653
The letters have been delivered.
208
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,422
"We're best friends,
and I love you."
209
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:44,524
Aw!
210
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,193
"But I have to tell you
that you're weak.
211
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:49,962
I mean, I've heard
of damsels in distress,
212
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:53,099
but you make Princess Peach
look like Ronda Rousey"?
213
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,967
What?
Okay, who wrote this?
214
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,969
Can't wait for that letter.
215
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,671
[ Chuckles heartily ]
216
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:03,776
"For the love of God,
get some fucking contacts."
217
00:09:03,843 --> 00:09:04,977
That's all they wrote?
218
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:09,248
"I think you two have
a serious addiction problem."
219
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:10,683
Like, oh, boy, Scoob.
220
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,920
They're sayin' we gotta stop
eatin' Scooby Snacks!
221
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:14,854
They rrha'?!
222
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:15,888
[ Chuckles ]
223
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:18,124
What do you mean
I don't have a letter?
224
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:21,060
Man: Um, the show is only
about four best friends.
225
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,829
[ Chuckles nervously ]
You're kidding, right?
226
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,766
I didn't make the cut?
Did the dog make the cut?
227
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:29,669
Woman: Each friend has one week
to improve themselves.
228
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:33,873
I can't believe they called me
a damsel in distress.
229
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,708
[ Train whistle approaching ]
230
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:36,976
Wait a minute...
231
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:38,844
[ Chuckling ]
This is not my yoga class.
232
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,780
-Give us the mic!
-Give me my letter!
233
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:43,082
Like, dude, we can do it,
old pal.
234
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,518
Just one week.
With nuh-- with no --
235
00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:47,887
With no fucking
Scooby Snacks, man!
236
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,922
Like, I'm freakin' out!
237
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,357
Fuck!
No!
238
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,593
Woman: It's been a week since
the gang received their letters.
239
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,629
Let's see if they fixed
their flaws.
240
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:58,898
Like, man, I will sell
you a body part
241
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,166
for one Scooby Snack!
242
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:03,502
I'd rrhuck your rrhick!
[ Sobs ]
243
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,006
Guys...
I got Lasik!
244
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:09,342
-Rra'?!
-They're still healing.
245
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:10,876
[ Door bursts open ]
246
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:11,978
[ Grunts ]
247
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,946
Enough sittin' around,
shit for brains!
248
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,548
Let's do this!!
[ Grunts ]
249
00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:16,983
Ow!
250
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,384
Hmm...
251
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,054
If the owner died a decade ago,
why start haunting now?
252
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,423
Oh, I'm sorry.
Were you talking to me?
253
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:26,258
The fifth wheel?
Because --
254
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:28,227
Let's get
this son of a bitch!
255
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,562
-Hey!
-Who's your mother?!
256
00:10:29,628 --> 00:10:30,896
-Ow!
-Yeah! Get over here!
257
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:34,367
-[ Glass shatters ]
-[ Grunting ]
258
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:38,337
Now let's see who
the "ghost" really is.
259
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,673
[ Grunting ]
260
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,009
[ All gasping ]
261
00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:44,477
Butler.
262
00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:46,645
Called it.
263
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:47,680
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
264
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,015
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
265
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:51,017
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
266
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,184
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
267
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:53,519
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
268
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,354
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
269
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,355
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
270
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:57,690
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
271
00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,692
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
272
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,894
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
17438
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