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1
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:08,808
[ thunder crashes ]
[ laughs evilly ]
2
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:10,977
[ sawing ]
[ electricity crackles ]
3
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,886
It's alive!
4
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:32,399
[ thunder crashes ]
[ laughs evilly ]
5
00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:38,004
[ smooch! ]
[ laughs evilly ]
6
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,340
No! Not pop rocks and soda!
7
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:41,574
You'll die if you try it!
8
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:43,376
Ah, that's just an urban
Legend.
9
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:50,450
[ munching ]
[ fizzing ]
10
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,453
Gee, brain, what are we gonna
Do tonight?
11
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,456
The same thing we do every
Night, pinky.
12
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:59,893
[ rock music playing ]
[ engine turns over ]
13
00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:07,167
[ tires screech ]
[ glass shatters ]
14
00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:14,240
[ glass shatters ]
[ laughs ]
15
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:18,311
[ laughs ]
[ tires screech ]
16
00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:21,181
[ crash ]
[ siren wails ]
17
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:29,656
[ machine gunfire ]
[ tires screech ]
18
00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:31,424
Those ugly mice sure can
Sleep a lot.
19
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,793
Yeah, we've been injecting
Them with synthetic pcp for
20
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,229
Months, and they haven't shown
Any aggressive tendencies at
21
00:01:36,295 --> 00:01:36,563
All.
22
00:01:36,628 --> 00:01:37,163
Huh.
23
00:01:37,229 --> 00:01:38,097
Well, let's up the dosage.
24
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:41,501
[ laughs evilly ]
Yes. Yes!
25
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:46,104
[ slow-motion laugh ]
Toby, sometimes when we have
26
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:49,442
Trouble recalling our childhood,
It's because we're repressing
27
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:51,444
Some painful trauma from the
Past.
28
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,813
Now, close your eyes and try to
Remember.
29
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,281
What happened to you?
30
00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:58,651
[ crying ]
♪ magic pants
31
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:03,356
♪ oh, magic pants
♪ the love I'm gonna give you is
32
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,859
Deep inside my pants ♪
In 9 hours and 23 minutes,
33
00:02:05,925 --> 00:02:07,961
You'll be mine.
34
00:02:08,026 --> 00:02:11,798
[ laughs ]
♪ the love I'm gonna give you
35
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:16,469
Is deep inside my pants ♪
Oh, it's terrible.
36
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:17,804
I think I can help.
37
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:22,475
♪ dance, magic dance
I don't -- I don't think this
38
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:23,343
Is working.
39
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:25,278
[ laughs ]
It's working.
40
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:29,115
[ laughs evilly ]
And now back to
41
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:30,917
"The land before time."
42
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,721
[ birds chirping ]
So, uh, when's that party
43
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,022
Supposed to start?
44
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:39,759
I think we can just show up
Whenever.
45
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:44,764
This has been
"The land before time."
46
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,666
Well, howdy, new friend.
47
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,268
I'm ricky recycle bin.
48
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,769
Recycle my asshole!
49
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,540
If it would help save the
Planet, you bet I would!
50
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:54,807
Uh, excuse me, sir?
51
00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:55,808
No bottlecaps.
52
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:56,910
Eh, no big deal.
53
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:59,445
Recycling is good for the
Environment.
54
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,813
Hey, thanks, guys.
55
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,416
Oh, but this is pvc plastic type
3.
56
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:08,988
I accept types 1 and 2 only.
57
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,723
For the last time, no dirty
Pizza boxes or
58
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:11,991
Polyethylene-coated coffee cups.
59
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:13,026
I'm trying, all right?
60
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:14,594
You don't have to be a dick
About it.
61
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:18,298
I'm being a dick about it for
The children!
62
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:21,301
Hey, dipshit
What part of "Cut up cardboard
63
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:24,370
Boxes into two-foot by two-foot
Squares, bundle them with twine,
64
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:27,240
And leave them out on the third
Tuesday of every other month
65
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,841
Only" don't you understand?!
66
00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:30,677
Sheesh.
67
00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:32,978
Now I understand why you're so
Grouchy.
68
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,548
Do you?
69
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:38,918
I love you, little brother,
But now it's time for me to seek
70
00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,453
My fortune out in the world.
71
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,088
Give mom a kiss for me, will
You?
72
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,256
Hey, thanks for the ride.
73
00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:45,124
I'm going to --
Hey, what are you doing
74
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:49,128
[ bones crunch ]
Nooooooo!
75
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,164
You don't know me at all, man.
76
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:54,100
You don't know anything about
Me.
77
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:59,372
[ alarm beeping ]
[ chatter ]
78
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,874
You are free to go.
79
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:07,647
[ alarm beeping ]
[ clears throat ]
80
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,382
The morning commute is
Looking smooth at the
81
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,483
Criss-cross crash interchange.
82
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,484
Whoops. No, folks.
83
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,486
A slight fender bender in the
Number four lane.
84
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:16,755
I suggest an alternate route.
85
00:04:16,822 --> 00:04:20,026
Grandpa, where's the delete
Key on this thing?
86
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:24,631
[ sighs ]
Whoa! That's cool!
87
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:29,802
I hate your entire
Generation.
88
00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:30,637
Ah!
89
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,071
Wait a minute!
90
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:34,741
Luigi, all-a these gold coins!
91
00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:35,942
They're everywhere!
92
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,645
Why are we wasting our lives
In the sewers?
93
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,647
Our new lives are starting now!
94
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:44,350
[ rap music playing ]
[ explosion ]
95
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:47,854
Mario, your new place is
Awesome!
96
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,923
[ explosion ]
Oh. Sorry, bro.
97
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,457
Hey-a, not to worry.
98
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:55,294
There's a-plenty more where that
Came from.
99
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,598
Me and-a mario, we get-a used
To the finer things.
100
00:04:58,665 --> 00:05:01,834
Now, about you show me how to
Use that-a honker of yours.
101
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:05,271
Uh, I don't know.
102
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,372
Oh, ding-ding-ding!
103
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,341
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
Ding, ding, ding, ding!
104
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,475
Now I'm-a sleepy.
105
00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,277
[ doorbell rings ]
Hey.
106
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:15,114
You guys used to come by on a
Pretty regular basis, but I
107
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,716
Haven't seen you in awhile.
108
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,051
We take-a the lady.
109
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:21,154
How about you order yourself a
Nice mail-order bride?
110
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:25,058
[ laughs ]
Now scram, capiche?
111
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:30,329
[ sighs ]
You-a were war-velous.
112
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,732
Oh, mamma fucking mia.
113
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:35,568
Mario, the mortgage, she's-a
Due!
114
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:38,371
Everybody wants a piece of
The mario.
115
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:43,176
[ grunting ]
Mario!
116
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:44,310
Come on!
117
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:46,012
Come on, you son of a bitch!
118
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,380
[ sobs ]
Mario.
119
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:51,417
It's-a over.
120
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:54,787
Hey, any chance you want to
Kidnap me and put me up in your
121
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:55,354
Castle?
122
00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:56,522
No way, princess.
123
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:59,092
I'm spoken for now.
124
00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:01,394
[ ting! Ting! Ting! ]
And that's why daddy and
125
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,697
Uncle luigi are plumbers and we
Live here instead of a big,
126
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:05,531
Fancy house.
127
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,500
Shut up-a your face!
128
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,635
Right. Big money. Big money.
129
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,404
No whammies. No whammies.
130
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:12,572
And stop!
131
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:15,742
[ buzzer sounds ]
We are gathered here in
132
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:17,810
Remembrance of ted, a total
Loser.
133
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,879
[ chuckles ]
Oh, my own funeral.
134
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:20,747
That's funny.
135
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:22,081
Here's his obituary.
136
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,484
"Born, sucked, died.
137
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,985
He's survived by his family.
138
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,053
And his chlamydia."
139
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,322
I don't even know how I got
Chlamydia.
140
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:32,024
Because I fucked your wife!
141
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:32,925
Oops!
142
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:35,261
Look who put their costume on
Inside out.
143
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,997
Fuck you, bizarro!
144
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,332
What's going on?
145
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,100
Are we, like, under attack?
146
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:42,135
Oh, my god!
147
00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:42,869
Look!
148
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:45,171
Are you getting this, man?
149
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,740
Wait! What's that in his hands?
150
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:51,010
[ growls ]
Where all humans come from?
151
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,678
Me so scared!
152
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:53,846
It's a madhouse!
153
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,415
Oh, wait. White balance off
Slightly.
154
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,082
Hey!
155
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,351
You can't do that!
156
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,753
We're the scared ones recording
You!
157
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,922
[ growls ]
Humans shut up!
158
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,424
Me sell found footage for movie!
159
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,926
Make six figures!
160
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:10,329
It's not about the money, you
Monster!
161
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:11,764
It's about art!
162
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,401
That bullshit
Art and commerce often
163
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,069
Intersect -- aaah!
164
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:18,671
Oh, no!
165
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,239
My friend!
166
00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:23,743
No! My camera!
167
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:26,078
It looks like rain.
168
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:27,980
It looks like horse.
169
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,849
It looks like volcano.
170
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:30,783
Very good.
171
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,018
You get a lollipop.
172
00:07:32,084 --> 00:07:34,253
Hey! Lollipop!
173
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,389
I can't get it out of my
Head, colonel.
174
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:39,258
The things they did to me over
There.
175
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,327
Tell us what we want to know!
176
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,428
Rambo, john.
177
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,730
[ mumbling ] 936--
Always with the mumbling.
178
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:45,765
You sound like this!
179
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:49,001
[ babbling ]
Rambo, john.
180
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:52,071
[ mumbling ] 936--
Oh, no.
181
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,005
Not again!
182
00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:54,073
Please!
183
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,775
And now back to whitney.
184
00:07:55,842 --> 00:07:57,343
Sex joke toilet seat?
185
00:07:57,409 --> 00:07:58,711
Wacky neighbors!
186
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,313
No more! No more!
187
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,248
Aaaaah!
188
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,518
Your hair's so thick and
Pretty even in this humid jungle
189
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:06,285
Atmosphere.
190
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:07,854
What kind of product you use?!
191
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,422
Rambo, john.
192
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:12,491
93601--
We have ways of making you
193
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:13,526
Talk.
194
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:16,062
"Twilight," by
Stephenie meyer.
195
00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:17,230
You wouldn't dare.
196
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,599
"I never thought I'd fuck
A vampire."
197
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,200
[ gagging ]
He's trying to swallow his
198
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:21,667
Own tongue!
199
00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:23,135
Stop him!
200
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:25,605
You've been a prisoner for
Weeks, but you still ripped as
201
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:26,072
Hell.
202
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:26,839
You focus on core?
203
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:27,773
What's your routine?
204
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,275
I won't tell you anything.
205
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,978
You'll tell us what we want
To know or you'll play
206
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,746
"E.T.: the video game"!
207
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:34,713
No! No!
208
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:42,188
[ music playing ]
No.
209
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,323
No! No!
210
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:45,758
Not again!
211
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:46,425
Aaaah!
212
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:47,526
Stop him!
213
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:50,663
He's trying to remove his own
Eyes with the joystick!
214
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:53,266
[ babbles ]
You must forgive my friend
215
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:55,334
For being so harsh, mr. Rambo.
216
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:58,905
To make you feel more at home,
We washed your beloved bandana.
217
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:01,607
We know it the sum total that
Separates your character from
218
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:02,408
Rocky.
219
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,809
Now please enjoy the food and
Music.
220
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,978
[ slow music plays ]
[ sung to rick astley's
221
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:10,016
"Never gonna give you up" ]
♪ gonna never let you out
222
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:14,453
♪ of my rape dungeon
You got rickrolled, american
223
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,087
Swine!
224
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:19,292
[ laughs ]
Oh, no!
225
00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:20,860
Will you talk?
226
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:21,661
No.
227
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,930
[ slow music plays ]
No, no.
228
00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:25,431
Not mummenschanz.
229
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,434
Don't make me watch this!
230
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,236
Geneva convention!
231
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,004
Geneva convention!
232
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,407
You beard so finely
Manicured.
233
00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:35,741
You must have sculpting tools.
234
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:36,409
Stop it!
235
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:37,743
Where your sculpting tools?!
236
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:40,947
[ gasps ]
Oh, please tell me they're not
237
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:41,981
Pooping in that cup.
238
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,583
[ farts ]
Oh, god. They are.
239
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:47,954
Rambo, john. 936--
Okay, look, rambo.
240
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:49,322
We out of ideas here.
241
00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:51,424
Please just tell us what we want
To know!
242
00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:54,193
Did somebody finally learn
The word "Please"?
243
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,695
That's all you had to say!
244
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,998
Our troops locations are on
Microfilm sewn into my scrotum.
245
00:09:59,065 --> 00:09:59,799
I'll drive.
246
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:01,901
You guys got any good
Eight-tracks?
247
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:05,171
You bet your bandana we got
Good eight-tracks.
248
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,807
You gave them our troop
Positions?!
249
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:08,975
We lost the war!
250
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,910
Did they have "Zeppelin iv"?
251
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:13,079
Yeah, that is a stone groove.
252
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,381
That is a stone groove.
253
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:20,753
♪ gonna never let you out
Of our rape dungeon ♪
254
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:24,924
♪ never gonna tell your folks
Where you got to ♪
255
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:25,758
Whoo!
256
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:28,494
♪ my rape
♪ my rape dungeon
257
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:33,466
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
Raaaaah!
258
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:38,938
Me so sorry. [ sobs ]
Tell me mom I love her.
259
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,139
Stop doing that!
260
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,607
You don't get to do that!
261
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,676
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