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1
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[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
2
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:26,025
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
3
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:38,338
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:40,940
>> I know I have not always been
Der best husband.
5
00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:43,510
>> that's the smartest thing to
Ever come out of your mouth.
6
00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:45,578
>> hey, you want to know der
Smartest thing to ever come out
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00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:46,613
Of your mouth?
8
00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:47,447
Mein doodle.
9
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,983
I'm einstein, bitch!
10
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:54,154
Einstein, mother [bleep]
>> hey, did you hear what I said
11
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,622
To that bartender last night?
12
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:57,157
I said, "I'm calling the cops.
13
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,626
You just served a miner."[minor]
[ both laugh ]
14
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:00,326
You get it?
15
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,561
>> oh, another zinger.
16
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:04,798
You know, sometimes down here, I
Actually pray for a gas leak.
17
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,132
[ rumbling ]
Uh-oh!
18
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:09,269
>> watch out!
19
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:10,637
>> oh, no, we're trapped.
20
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:13,139
And worst of all, I really do
Smell gas.
21
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,574
>> yeah, that could be my I.B.S.
22
00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:15,809
Acting up.
23
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:17,877
>> just to be safe, let's put on
Our protective anti-gas suits
24
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:19,179
And look for another way out.
25
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,847
>> it's fantastic underground.
26
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,081
>> wait. What's that?
27
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:23,750
>> it's fantastic underground.
28
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,385
>> what in the sweet hell?
29
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:28,888
>> holy crap! Run!
30
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:30,890
>> it's fantastic underground.
31
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>> [ gasping ]
It's gaining on us.
32
00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:34,426
We're not gonna make it.
33
00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,328
>> I'll stop him.
34
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:36,663
You got a family to think of.
35
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:37,363
>> what?!
36
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,631
You're married, bill.
37
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:44,304
>> yeah, but I've always loved
You, harvey.
38
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:47,907
>> what the --
>> no! No! Bill!
39
00:01:47,973 --> 00:01:55,114
>> [ growls ]
>> [ gasps ]
40
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,316
>> dad, wait up.
41
00:01:56,382 --> 00:02:01,855
I want you to have my bicycle
Pump, because I-I love you.
42
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:04,891
>> only one chance.
43
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:09,429
Play dead, you monster!
44
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:14,400
[ beeping ]
I-I loved you, too, bill.
45
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:26,646
[ sobbing ]
[ birds chirping ]
46
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:27,914
>> I don't want to go to sleep.
47
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:28,748
You can't make me.
48
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,550
>> I'm sorry, honey, but it's
Bedtime.
49
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,384
>> I hate you!
50
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:32,752
And dolly hates you, too.
51
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,288
>> [ chuckles ]
Well, you're my daughter, and I
52
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,724
Love you, but that bitch is
Gonna pay.
53
00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,492
You hate me, dolly?
54
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:40,660
Huh, dolly?
55
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,328
You don't like me?
56
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:43,963
>> why?! Why!? Why?!
57
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,865
>> happier in the store?
58
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,234
You ungrateful, stupid rag doll!
59
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:51,070
>> [ gasps ]
Dad, you're killing her!
60
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:55,775
>> and let that be a lesson to
The rest of you!
61
00:02:55,841 --> 00:02:57,744
Sleep well, baby.
62
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,514
>> I'm danny ocean.
63
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,751
And for this caper, we're gonna
Need more than 11, 12, or 13
64
00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:05,752
Guys.
65
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:08,721
So, team 1 -- brad pitt,
Matt damon, don cheadle,
66
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:11,391
Carl reiner, elliott gould,
Scott caan, shaobo qin,
67
00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:14,694
Eddie jemison, andy garcia,
Leonardo dicaprio, bruce willis,
68
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,728
Vin diesel, william shatner,
Topher grace,
69
00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,598
Christopher walken,
Justin timberlake,
70
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:21,334
Antonio banderas,
Samuel jackson, kurtwood smith,
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00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,903
Bruce campbell, jackie chan, and
"Weird al" yankovic -- you start
72
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:24,737
A fight at the bar.
73
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:26,639
Then, team 2 --
Sylvester stallone,
74
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,609
Erik estrada, david letterman,
Vince vaughn, leonard nimoy,
75
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,978
Vladimir putin, frankenstein,
My niece susie,
76
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,581
Koko the gorilla, panda with a
Monocle, peter pan,
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00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:37,383
John denver's corpse, a mime,
Sherlax, the devourer of
78
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,119
Worlds, and ryan seacrest --
You'll slip in the back.
79
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:41,120
Any questions?
80
00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:41,954
>> all: no!
81
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:43,957
>> then let's do this.
82
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:47,894
[ indistinct shouting ]
>> mama, why does grandma walk
83
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,162
So slow?
84
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:52,231
>> because grandma's old, honey,
And her bones are very brittle.
85
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,766
>> mama, what's brittle?
86
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:57,270
>> you know, like, um, like
Peanut brittle, dear.
87
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,771
>> mmm!
88
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:00,139
Yummy!
89
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:01,507
>> oh, hi, little rosa.
90
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,942
Oh -- what are you doing?!
91
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,544
>> where's the peanut brittle?
92
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,312
I want the peanut brittle.
93
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,246
Where is it?
94
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,348
Give it to me.
95
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:09,182
I want it.
96
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,149
>> rosa, no!
97
00:04:10,216 --> 00:04:12,085
Put grandma's leg back!
98
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,360
[ applause ]
>> yes! Oh, yeah!
99
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:21,628
Did you see me on tv?
100
00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:23,162
I had the round of my life.
101
00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:26,933
>> yes, it was great, except for
One crucial element.
102
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,701
You weren't wearing your nike
Hat.
103
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:29,636
>> oh, yeah.
104
00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:31,504
My caddie put it in the wrong
Carry-on bag.
105
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:32,572
I'm sorry about that.
106
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,474
>> [ chuckles ]
You're not sorry yet.
107
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:35,375
But you will be.
108
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,010
>> hey, what are you -- what are
You doing?
109
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,144
>> hold him down!
110
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,112
>> no! Please!
111
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,747
>> we own you, tiger.
112
00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:44,517
[ laughs maniacally ]
>> all: [ chanting ] Own you!
113
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Own you! Own you!
114
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,389
>> they own me. They own me.
115
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:50,723
>> what is it, honey?
116
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>> I've forsaken my roots.
117
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:56,429
I let the white man own me,
Baby, body and soul.
118
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:59,032
I'm nothing but a piece of
Property to them.
119
00:04:59,098 --> 00:05:00,266
>> so what?
120
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,869
Your endorsement deal is worth
$105 million, and you're married
121
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,137
To a blond hottie.
122
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,239
And, anyway, aren't you mostly
Chinese?
123
00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:07,173
>> oh, yeah.
124
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,243
>> oh, yeah, you're in the sand
Trap, baby.
125
00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:12,879
Hole in one! Whoo!
126
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:17,116
>> hello, ma'am, did you call
About an intruder in your house?
127
00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:21,054
>> [ nervously ] Um...No.
128
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,889
>> what's wrong with your eyes,
Ma'am?
129
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,524
Is that some sort of a tick?
130
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:27,226
Well, if there's no intruder,
Then I'll be on my way.
131
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:32,799
I'd get that eye checked out by
A doctor.
132
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:33,866
>> ew!
133
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,968
He's got cooties!
134
00:05:36,034 --> 00:05:40,406
[ indistinct shouting ]
>> well, there's blah-blah with
135
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:43,142
The budget.
136
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:44,544
My god.
137
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,646
[ screaming ]
>> the carrier.
138
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:53,052
Where's the carrier?
139
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,054
>> don't worry. You'll be fine.
140
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,055
>> contagion!
141
00:05:56,122 --> 00:06:01,728
>> [ screams ]
>> it looks like we got it.
142
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:04,530
>> [ screams ]
[ screaming ]
143
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,032
>> we're too late.
144
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,300
>> roger that.
145
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,368
[ air whistling ]
>> dude, I got a surprise for my
146
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:15,742
Date.
147
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:17,577
I cut a hole out of the bottom
Of my popcorn bucket.
148
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:19,412
>> uh, that bucket's empty,
Dude.
149
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:20,480
Where's the popcorn?
150
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,581
>> popcorn?
151
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:24,317
>> hey, diana, want to feel my
Penis?
152
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:25,017
>> ew.
153
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:25,818
Why did you cover it in butter?
154
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,019
>> w-what do you mean, "Butter"?
155
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:27,720
>> shut up, guys.
156
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,522
The trailers are starting.
157
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:45,805
[ tires screech ]
[ engine revving ]
158
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:52,311
[ air whistling ]
>> boom!
159
00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:54,814
Boom! Ba-boom!
160
00:06:54,881 --> 00:07:05,892
[ imitating explosions ]
Blam!
161
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:06,859
>> oh, that sucked!
162
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,695
>> geez, tell the whole theater,
Why don't you?
163
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,498
>> america would never be the
Same.
164
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:16,335
How could it after this day?
165
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:19,672
[ bones cracking ]
[ clang! ]
166
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:33,820
[ clang! ]
>> hey, more popcorn, dude?
167
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:34,654
>> oh, thanks, man.
168
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,122
I was just gonna -- oh, son of a
Bitch!
169
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:39,992
>> [ laughs ]
You touched my junk.
170
00:07:40,058 --> 00:07:43,162
>> yo, nick, we got to get our
Steps together, dog, or we're
171
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,464
Never gonna get out of this
Life, man.
172
00:07:45,531 --> 00:07:47,933
>> yo, I step for one person --
Me.
173
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:52,171
>> ♪ young black people on a
Rhythm team ♪
174
00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,173
>> yo, I step for one person.
175
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,474
>> I know -- you.
176
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,944
You're dying to step for your
Friends, but you're afraid your
177
00:07:58,010 --> 00:07:59,645
Friends won't be there to step
For you.
178
00:07:59,712 --> 00:08:00,813
>> yo, man, step off.
179
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:01,914
You don't know me.
180
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:05,084
[ sobbing ]
[ cheers and applause ]
181
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:08,087
>> all right, homies, look like
We gonna have to do it without
182
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,088
Him, okay?
183
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:13,125
>> yo, it's time to step up for
My friends.
184
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:15,461
>> ♪ we dress like thugs, but
We're keepin' it clean ♪
185
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,663
♪ young black people on a
Rhythm team ♪
186
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:20,166
♪ we dress like thugs, but we're
Keepin' it clean ♪
187
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,902
♪ young black people on a
Rhythm team ♪
188
00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,972
>> look, dude, now I put a hole
In my soda cup.
189
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:28,441
>> dude, seriously, what the
[bleep]
190
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:30,076
>> oh, hey, could I have some
Soda?
191
00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:30,843
>> sure.
192
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:34,113
[ yelps ]
>> all: shh.
193
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,081
>> hey, hey, hey!
194
00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:36,115
A pic-a-nic basket.
195
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,650
>> it's pronounced picnic,
Yogi -- picnic.
196
00:08:38,717 --> 00:08:39,952
>> hey, my lunch!
197
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,754
Hey.
198
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,088
>> oh, we got to run, yogi.
199
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,658
[ patter! Patter! Patter! ]
[ patter! Patter! Patter! ]
200
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:46,893
>> you'll never catch him.
201
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:50,096
He's smarter than the average
Bear.
202
00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:52,198
>> surprise.
203
00:08:52,265 --> 00:09:00,506
[ patter! Patter! Patter! ]
>> no, yogi!
204
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,909
[ indistinct conversations ]
>> shh.
205
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:06,913
I'm trying to watch these
Trailers, y'all.
206
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:08,447
I'm just playing.
207
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:10,016
You go, trailers!
208
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:11,384
Aah!
209
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:17,223
>> stanley kubrick's
"2001: a space odyssey" is one
210
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,893
Of the most respected cinematic
Achievements of all-time.
211
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:28,634
For generations of audiences,
It's also...
212
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:30,136
But help is on the way.
213
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:33,806
This summer, catch a brand-new
Edition of "2001," featuring
214
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,943
Playboy cyber girl robin bain.
215
00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:39,078
It's full of stars!
216
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,314
Wow!
217
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:45,318
>> yes, 148 minutes is a long
Time to watch crap float around,
218
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:49,021
Set to classical music, but not
When robin bain is mother
219
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,656
[bleep] Naked!
220
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:53,559
>> space swimming's the best.
221
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,127
I'm gonna help.
222
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:56,862
I love computers.
223
00:09:56,929 --> 00:10:01,867
I always wanted to do this.
224
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,936
I'm helping.
225
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:08,474
>> daisy, daisy, give me your...
226
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,710
>> naked cartwheel!
227
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:11,644
Whoo!
228
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,079
>> and best of all...
229
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:16,215
>> hi, folks, I'm
Stanley kubrick, and I approve
230
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,183
Of this idea.
231
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:17,850
>> see?
232
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,019
"2001: a space odyssey."
233
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:21,420
>> with boobs!
234
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,388
>> whoo!
235
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,756
Loving my life.
236
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:24,557
>> genius.
237
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:25,658
>> masterpiece.
238
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:28,794
>> and now our feature
Presentation of "Robot chicken,
239
00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:30,196
The credits: the movie."
240
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,798
[ cheering ]
>> oh, my god, it's gonna be the
241
00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:34,800
Best movie ever.
242
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:37,203
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
243
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:39,338
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
244
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,474
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
245
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,642
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
246
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,778
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
247
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,980
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
248
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:52,251
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
249
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,686
>> the book was totally better.
250
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:54,320
>> hold on.
251
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,055
I want to see the credits.
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