Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,906 --> 00:00:20,803
It's alive!
2
00:00:39,162 --> 00:00:41,592
I know have not always
been the best husband.
3
00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:43,920
That's the smartest thing to
ever come out of your mouth.
4
00:00:43,992 --> 00:00:45,582
You want to know
another smartest thing
5
00:00:45,658 --> 00:00:47,089
to ever come
out of your mouth?
6
00:00:47,157 --> 00:00:48,486
Mein doodle!
7
00:00:48,556 --> 00:00:50,646
I'm Einstein, bitch!
8
00:00:50,722 --> 00:00:52,846
Einstein, motherfucker!
9
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,079
Hey, did you hear
what I said
10
00:00:55,153 --> 00:00:56,675
to that bartender
last night?
11
00:00:56,752 --> 00:01:00,307
I said, "I'm calling the cops.
You just served a miner!"
12
00:01:00,383 --> 00:01:02,473
Oh, ho ho!
Another zinger.
13
00:01:02,549 --> 00:01:05,377
You know, sometimes down here
I actually pray for a gas leak.
14
00:01:05,447 --> 00:01:06,810
Uh-oh!
15
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:07,970
Watch out!
16
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,368
Oh, no,
we're trapped.
17
00:01:11,444 --> 00:01:13,840
And worst of all,
I really do smell gas.
18
00:01:13,909 --> 00:01:16,136
That could be
my IBS acting up.
19
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,231
Just to be safe, let's put on
our protective anti-gas suits
20
00:01:18,307 --> 00:01:19,897
and let's look
for another way out.
21
00:01:21,638 --> 00:01:24,364
Wait, what's that?
22
00:01:24,437 --> 00:01:26,062
What in the sweet hell?
23
00:01:26,136 --> 00:01:28,601
Holy crap! Run!
24
00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:34,989
It's gaining on us!
We're not gonna make it!
25
00:01:35,065 --> 00:01:36,030
I'll stop him.
26
00:01:36,098 --> 00:01:37,529
You got a family
to think of.
27
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,528
What?
You're married, Bill!
28
00:01:39,596 --> 00:01:42,220
Yeah, but I've always
loved you, Harvey.
29
00:01:45,093 --> 00:01:46,285
What the...
30
00:01:46,358 --> 00:01:48,687
Oh! Oh, Bill!
31
00:01:55,587 --> 00:01:57,177
Dad, wait up!
32
00:01:57,253 --> 00:01:59,274
I want you to have
my bicycle pump
33
00:01:59,351 --> 00:02:01,213
because I... I love you.
34
00:02:01,284 --> 00:02:05,010
Oh, only one chance.
35
00:02:05,082 --> 00:02:08,013
Inflate death,
you monster!
36
00:02:10,978 --> 00:02:15,170
I... I loved you, too, Bill!
37
00:02:27,170 --> 00:02:28,931
I don't wanna go to sleep.
You can't make me.
38
00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:30,763
I'm sorry, honey,
but it's bedtime.
39
00:02:30,835 --> 00:02:32,266
I hate you.
40
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:33,923
And dolly hates you, too.
41
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,294
Well, you're my daughter
and I love you,
42
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:37,887
but that bitch
is gonna pay.
43
00:02:37,964 --> 00:02:39,690
Hate me, dolly?!
44
00:02:39,763 --> 00:02:41,728
Huh, dolly?!
You don't like me?!
45
00:02:43,494 --> 00:02:46,152
Why, why, why?!
46
00:02:46,226 --> 00:02:49,123
You ungrateful,
stupid ragdoll!
47
00:02:50,757 --> 00:02:52,745
Stop!
You're killing her!
48
00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:55,753
Let that be a lesson
to the rest of you!
49
00:02:55,821 --> 00:02:58,013
Sleep well, baby.
50
00:03:00,786 --> 00:03:02,546
I'm Danny Ocean,
and for this caper
51
00:03:02,618 --> 00:03:05,878
we're gonna need more
than 11, 12, or 13 guys.
52
00:03:05,949 --> 00:03:08,413
So, team one...
Brad Pitt, Matt Damon,
53
00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:11,105
Don Cheadle, Carl Reiner,
Elliot Gould, Scott Caan,
54
00:03:11,180 --> 00:03:14,440
Shaobo Qin, Eddie Jameson,
Andy Garcia, Leonardo DiCaprio
55
00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:16,669
Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel,
William Shatner,
56
00:03:16,743 --> 00:03:18,140
Topher Grace,
Christopher Walken,
57
00:03:18,209 --> 00:03:20,140
Justin Timberlake,
Antonio Banderas,
58
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:22,434
Samuel Jackson,
Kurtwood Smith, Bruce Campbell,
59
00:03:22,507 --> 00:03:23,870
Jackie Chan
and Weird Al Yankovic...
60
00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:25,165
you start a fight
at the bar.
61
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,067
Then team two...
Sylvester Stallone,
62
00:03:27,138 --> 00:03:29,296
Erik Estrada,
David Letterman, Vince Vaughn,
63
00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:31,664
Leonard Nimoy,
Vladimir Putin, Frankenstein,
64
00:03:31,735 --> 00:03:33,393
my niece Susie,
Coco the Gorilla,
65
00:03:33,467 --> 00:03:36,125
panda with a monocle,
Peter Pan, John Denver's corpse,
66
00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:38,323
a mime,
Chirlaxx, the devourer of worlds,
67
00:03:38,399 --> 00:03:40,488
and Ryan Seacrest...
you'll slip in the back.
68
00:03:40,563 --> 00:03:41,426
Any questions?
69
00:03:41,497 --> 00:03:42,326
No!
70
00:03:42,397 --> 00:03:43,793
Then let's do this.
71
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,253
Mama, why does Grandma
walk so slow?
72
00:03:49,326 --> 00:03:52,120
Because Grandma's old, honey,
and her bones are very brittle.
73
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,178
Mama, what's brittle?
74
00:03:54,256 --> 00:03:57,652
You know, you know,
like peanut brittle, dear.
75
00:03:57,721 --> 00:04:00,311
Mmm. Yummy!
76
00:04:00,387 --> 00:04:02,318
Oh, hi,
little Rosa.
77
00:04:02,386 --> 00:04:04,248
What are you doing?
Ow!
78
00:04:04,318 --> 00:04:06,112
Where's the peanut brittle?
I want the peanut brittle.
79
00:04:06,183 --> 00:04:07,909
Where is it?
80
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:09,844
Give it to me!
I want it!
81
00:04:09,914 --> 00:04:12,277
Rosa, no!
Put Grandma's leg back!
82
00:04:18,976 --> 00:04:20,464
Yes!
Oh, yeah!
83
00:04:20,542 --> 00:04:23,335
Did you see me on TV?
I had the round of my life!
84
00:04:23,407 --> 00:04:25,066
Yes, it was great.
85
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,071
Except for one
crucial element...
86
00:04:27,139 --> 00:04:28,933
you weren't wearing
your Nike hat.
87
00:04:29,005 --> 00:04:31,435
Oh, yeah, my caddy put it
in the wrong carry-on bag.
88
00:04:31,503 --> 00:04:33,025
I'm sorry about that.
89
00:04:33,102 --> 00:04:34,590
Ha ha, you're
not sorry yet.
90
00:04:34,668 --> 00:04:35,860
But you will be.
91
00:04:35,934 --> 00:04:36,900
Hey, what are you...
what are you doing?
92
00:04:36,966 --> 00:04:39,193
Hold him down!
No, please!
93
00:04:39,265 --> 00:04:41,457
We own you, Tiger!
94
00:04:43,197 --> 00:04:45,162
Own you!
Own you!
95
00:04:48,094 --> 00:04:49,923
They own me.
They own me!
96
00:04:49,993 --> 00:04:51,322
What is it, honey?
97
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,153
I've forsaken my roots.
98
00:04:53,224 --> 00:04:55,416
I've let the white man
own me, baby.
99
00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:57,182
Body and soul.
100
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,049
I'm nothing but a piece
of property to them.
101
00:04:59,121 --> 00:05:00,711
So what?
Your endorsement deal
102
00:05:00,787 --> 00:05:02,445
is worth
$105 million,
103
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,381
and you're married
to a blond hottie.
104
00:05:04,452 --> 00:05:05,849
And anyway, aren't you
mostly Chinese?
105
00:05:05,918 --> 00:05:07,883
Oh, yeah.
106
00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:10,743
Oh, yeah, you're
in the sandtrap, baby.
107
00:05:10,815 --> 00:05:12,871
Hole in one, whoo!
108
00:05:14,813 --> 00:05:17,176
Hello, ma'am, did you call
about an intruder in your house?
109
00:05:17,244 --> 00:05:20,697
Uh, no.
110
00:05:20,776 --> 00:05:22,866
What's wrong
with your eyes, ma'am?
111
00:05:22,942 --> 00:05:24,997
Is that some sort
of a tick?
112
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,130
Well, if there's no intruder,
I'll be on my way.
113
00:05:27,206 --> 00:05:29,467
I'd get that eye
checked out by a doctor.
114
00:05:32,836 --> 00:05:34,029
Ewww!
115
00:05:34,102 --> 00:05:36,965
He's got cooties!
116
00:05:38,633 --> 00:05:40,825
Well, yes.
Blah blah, with the budget.
117
00:05:43,065 --> 00:05:44,689
My god.
118
00:05:44,763 --> 00:05:46,353
Aaah!
119
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,394
The carrier!
Where's the carrier?!
120
00:05:53,292 --> 00:05:55,052
Don't worry,
you'll be fine.
121
00:05:55,124 --> 00:05:56,316
Contagion!
122
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,116
Aaah!
123
00:05:59,122 --> 00:06:01,746
It looks
like we got it.
124
00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:04,377
Aaah!
125
00:06:04,453 --> 00:06:05,440
We're too late!
126
00:06:13,048 --> 00:06:15,013
Dude, I got a surprise
for my date.
127
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,545
I cut a hole out of
the bottom of my popcorn bucket.
128
00:06:17,612 --> 00:06:19,475
That bucket's empty, dude.
129
00:06:19,544 --> 00:06:20,532
Where's the popcorn?
130
00:06:20,611 --> 00:06:22,405
Popcorn?
131
00:06:22,476 --> 00:06:24,066
Hey, Diana,
wanna feel my penis?
132
00:06:24,142 --> 00:06:25,732
Eww, why'd you
cover it in butter?
133
00:06:25,808 --> 00:06:27,171
What do you mean, butter?
134
00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:28,830
Shut up guys,
the trailers are starting.
135
00:07:05,686 --> 00:07:06,777
Oh, that sucked.
136
00:07:06,853 --> 00:07:08,715
Geez, tell the whole
theater, why don't ya?
137
00:07:09,784 --> 00:07:12,112
America would
never be the same.
138
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:16,374
How could it,
after this day?
139
00:07:31,639 --> 00:07:33,229
Hey, more popcorn, dude?
140
00:07:33,305 --> 00:07:34,894
Aw, thanks, man.
I was just getting...
141
00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:36,401
Aw, son of a bitch!
142
00:07:36,470 --> 00:07:38,094
You touched my junk.
143
00:07:39,468 --> 00:07:42,694
Yo, Nick, we gotta get
our steps together, dawg,
144
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,697
or we're never gonna get
out of this life, man.
145
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:47,559
Yo, I step
for one person... me.
146
00:07:47,631 --> 00:07:50,652
# Young black people
on a rhythm team... #
147
00:07:51,895 --> 00:07:53,792
Yo, I step for one person...
148
00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:55,450
I know. You!
149
00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:57,115
You're dying to step
for your friends,
150
00:07:57,192 --> 00:07:59,214
but you're afraid your friends
won't be there to step for you.
151
00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:01,653
Yo, man, step off!
You don't know me!
152
00:08:04,988 --> 00:08:06,044
Alright, homies.
153
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,584
Look like we're gonna have
to do it without him. Okay?
154
00:08:08,652 --> 00:08:10,413
Yo, it's time
to step up...
155
00:08:10,485 --> 00:08:12,382
for my friends.
156
00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:14,813
# We dress like thugs
but we're keeping it clean #
157
00:08:14,883 --> 00:08:17,109
# Young black people
on a rhythm team #
158
00:08:17,181 --> 00:08:19,408
# We dress like thugs
but we're keeping it clean #
159
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,410
# Young black people
on a rhythm team #
160
00:08:22,478 --> 00:08:25,465
Look, dude, now I put
a hole in my soda cup.
161
00:08:25,543 --> 00:08:27,304
Dude, seriously,
what the fuck!
162
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:29,136
Oh, hey, can I have
some soda?
163
00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:30,729
Sure.
164
00:08:30,807 --> 00:08:31,704
Aah!
165
00:08:31,773 --> 00:08:33,601
Shhh!
166
00:08:33,672 --> 00:08:36,034
Hey, hey, hey,
a pic-a-nic basket.
167
00:08:36,104 --> 00:08:38,126
It's pronounced picnic, Yogi.
Picnic!
168
00:08:38,203 --> 00:08:40,963
Hey, my lunch.
169
00:08:41,035 --> 00:08:42,727
Oh, we gotta run, Yogi.
170
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,429
You'll never catch him.
171
00:08:46,498 --> 00:08:48,360
He's smarter than
the average bear.
172
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,623
Surprise.
173
00:08:53,795 --> 00:08:56,691
No, Yogi!
174
00:08:56,759 --> 00:08:58,747
Aaahh!
175
00:09:00,024 --> 00:09:01,717
Do you like my hair?
I got it cut today.
176
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:05,414
Shh! I'm trying to watch
these trailers, y'all!
177
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:10,780
I'm just playing.
You go, trailers!
178
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:16,104
Stanley Kubrick's
2001: A Space Odyssey
179
00:09:16,182 --> 00:09:18,044
is one of the most respected
cinematic achievements
180
00:09:18,114 --> 00:09:19,807
of all time.
181
00:09:19,881 --> 00:09:22,437
For generations of audiences,
182
00:09:22,513 --> 00:09:27,965
it's also
really, really boring.
183
00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:29,803
But help is on the way.
184
00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:31,703
This summer, catch
a brand-new edition
185
00:09:31,774 --> 00:09:35,829
of 2001, featuring
Playboy Cyber Girl Robin Bain.
186
00:09:35,905 --> 00:09:38,233
It's full of stars!
187
00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:41,133
Wow!
188
00:09:41,203 --> 00:09:43,134
Yes, 148 minutes
is a long time
189
00:09:43,202 --> 00:09:44,860
to watch crap float around
190
00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:46,524
set to classical music.
191
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,360
But not when Robin Bain is
motherfucking naked!
192
00:09:50,431 --> 00:09:53,156
Space swimming's the best!
193
00:09:53,229 --> 00:09:56,160
I'm gonna help.
I love computers!
194
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:58,749
I always wanted to do this.
195
00:10:00,792 --> 00:10:03,120
I'm helping!
196
00:10:03,191 --> 00:10:07,416
# Daisy, Daisy,
give my your answer... #
197
00:10:07,488 --> 00:10:10,884
Naked cartwheel
Whoo hoo!
198
00:10:10,953 --> 00:10:12,543
And best of all...
199
00:10:12,618 --> 00:10:14,516
Hi, folks,
I'm Stanley Kubrick,
200
00:10:14,584 --> 00:10:16,549
and I approve of this idea.
201
00:10:19,615 --> 00:10:23,045
...with boobs!
202
00:10:23,113 --> 00:10:24,738
Genius!
Masterpiece!
203
00:10:24,813 --> 00:10:27,073
And now our
feature presentation
204
00:10:27,144 --> 00:10:29,870
of Robot Chicken:
The Credits, The Movie.
205
00:10:31,608 --> 00:10:34,038
It's gonna be
the best movie ever!
206
00:10:34,407 --> 00:10:36,338
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
207
00:10:36,406 --> 00:10:38,371
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #
208
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,595
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
209
00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:42,658
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #
210
00:10:42,736 --> 00:10:44,860
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
211
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,990
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #
212
00:10:47,066 --> 00:10:48,793
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
213
00:10:52,031 --> 00:10:53,723
Ugh, the book was totally better.
214
00:10:53,797 --> 00:10:55,228
Hold on,
I want to see the credits.
14946
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