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[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
2
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:26,025
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
3
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:38,338
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,408
>> kids, I've enlisted the help
Of some rappers I found on the
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00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:44,511
Craigslist to explain einstein's
Theory of relativity.
6
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:45,779
So, come on in, guys.
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00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:49,616
This is the class.
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00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:53,286
[ hip-hop music plays ]
>> ♪ I'm "E," what up? ♪
9
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,789
>> ♪ and I'm mc-squared ♪
>> ♪ we came to rhyme, and we
10
00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:57,824
Came prepared ♪
>> ♪ yo, I like this beat that
11
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,026
You're givin' me ♪
♪ now tell me the theory of
12
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,395
Relativity ♪
>> ♪ "E" stands for energy,
13
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,364
Sucka fools ♪
>> ♪ it's not measured in watts,
14
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:07,033
Bitch, it's measured in joules ♪
>> ♪ listen up, class, the "M"
15
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,701
Is for mass ♪
>> ♪ and if you don't like it,
16
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,970
You can kiss my ass ♪
>> ♪ the "C" stands for speed of
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00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:13,373
Light in a vacuum ♪
>> ♪ so back up, hoes, and give
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00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,575
Us some room ♪
>> ♪ an invariant mass requires
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00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,077
Rest energy without a hitch ♪
>> ♪ which made newton's second
20
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,146
Law as it appears in a
Nonrelativistic classical
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00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:22,849
Mechanics, bitch ♪
[ record scratches ]
22
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:29,055
[ air whooshing ]
>> einstein, mother [bleep]
23
00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:31,758
>> yo, we also got one about
Algebra.
24
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:32,826
>> yeah.
25
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:38,131
A-squared times b-squared
Equals these nuts, bitch.
26
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:43,803
>> [ whistling ]
>> ow, ow, ooh, ow.
27
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,939
God, those things are
Anus-shattering.
28
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:47,640
Uh, aah, oh.
29
00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,908
Overheated again?!
30
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:52,212
You cheap little rice-burner
Piece of crap.
31
00:01:52,277 --> 00:01:54,981
Come on, come on, come on, come
On, come on, come on.
32
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:55,682
Oh, yeah.
33
00:01:55,747 --> 00:01:57,217
That's a weird traffic marking.
34
00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:02,856
Whoa! Holy [bleep]
Ooh, oh, ow, ow, ow.
35
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:05,391
I can't f-feel my legs.
36
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,660
[ siren wailing ]
Oh, oh, thank you.
37
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,362
Oh, oh, thank you, bless you.
38
00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:10,964
I need to go to a hospital.
39
00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:12,298
Oh, thank you so much.
40
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:13,066
Thank you.
41
00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:16,436
Oh, aah, oh, aah, oh.
42
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,372
[bleep] This [bleep] Game!
43
00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:20,507
>> uh-oh.
44
00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,509
My war injury's acting up again.
45
00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:25,211
[ both laugh ]
>> do it again, uncle glen.
46
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,847
>> [ laughs ]
Maybe later.
47
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:31,518
Uncle glen needs a beer.
48
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:34,554
[ gulping ]
Ahh.
49
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:35,355
W-what the...
50
00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:36,523
Who are you?
51
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:39,125
>> removing your finger --
That's a good power, uncle glen.
52
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,727
I must have it.
53
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:44,097
>> [ screams ]
>> kids, where's your
54
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:49,636
Uncle glen?
55
00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:50,870
>> we don't know, mama.
56
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:52,105
>> he's gone.
57
00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:54,974
>> oh, he must be having one of
His explosive-diarrhea attacks
58
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:55,508
Again.
59
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:56,910
>> [ farts ]
Uh-oh.
60
00:02:56,976 --> 00:03:04,384
[ gurgling, farting ]
Every once in a while, this
61
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,019
Power backfires.
62
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:07,921
>> I can see!
63
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,957
Oh, magoo, you've done it again.
64
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,560
What are all these dragons made
Of me--
65
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,563
[ horn blares ]
>> [ grunting ]
66
00:03:21,466 --> 00:03:23,102
>> [ grunting ]
>> my goodness!
67
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,712
Father, what's that?
68
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:35,048
>> it appears to be a
Jungle-dwelling ape-man.
69
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:36,215
>> yeah, yeah, I know.
70
00:03:36,281 --> 00:03:37,183
I meant that!
71
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,618
>> oh, that's a penis.
72
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,153
>> I think I like penis.
73
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:42,755
>> well, you are your mother's
Daughter.
74
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,791
>> jane. Me jane.
75
00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,859
>> [ grunts ]
Jane.
76
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:48,861
>> that's right! Very good!
77
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:51,598
>> [ grunts ]
Jane, jane, jane.
78
00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,600
[ grunts ]
Jane.
79
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:57,971
>> yes! My name is jane!
80
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:02,141
[ screams ]
>> me save you.
81
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:08,314
[ bones cracking ]
>> tarzan, my hero.
82
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:11,217
>> [ growling ]
>> [ gasps ]
83
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:14,454
[ crack! ]
[ buzzing ]
84
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,390
Tarzan, my hero.
85
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:40,380
>> [ groaning ]
Aaaahh!
86
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,819
[ groaning ]
Ooh --
87
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,965
Aaaahh!
88
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,933
[ groaning ]
[ crack! ]
89
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,912
[ clang! ]
[ crack! ]
90
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:13,780
>> ooh!
91
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,715
>> tarzan, don't move.
92
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,850
I'll go get you a doctor.
93
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:21,020
>> no, jane, humans bad.
94
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,789
Me no want doctor.
95
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,724
Me no want jane, neither.
96
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:27,493
>> [ chuckles ]
You mean "Either," not --
97
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,895
>> me freaking ape-man!
98
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:29,996
Me not give crap!
99
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:33,466
>> [ sobbing ]
>> tarzan never saw jane again.
100
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,402
His broken body was mended by
The best jungle medicine the
101
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,071
Apes could provide.
102
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:54,587
>> [ growling ]
>> uh-oh.
103
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:59,025
[ waves crashing ]
>> hmm.
104
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:02,695
I wonder where the ocean is
Going.
105
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:06,099
>> we, the jury, find the
Defendant...Delightful!
106
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:08,101
>> well, thank you very much.
107
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,169
[ irish music plays ]
>> I flossed and brushed my
108
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:20,947
Teeth again.
109
00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:23,582
They say, "Only floss the ones
You want to keep."
110
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,284
I always liked that joke.
111
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:28,020
Then I swished around some
Mouthwash.
112
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:29,489
Kills gingivitis.
113
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:34,293
Damn gingivitis -- leading cause
Of gum disease.
114
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,929
Saw an old lady trying to cross
The street.
115
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:40,233
Grandma couldn't have been less
Than 90 years old.
116
00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:44,070
Probably seen a lot over those
Years, lots of stories to tell,
117
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,772
And a family that loves her.
118
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,440
Let me help you out, granny.
119
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:50,308
[ tires screech ]
Stopped the cars to make sure
120
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:51,711
Granny could cross.
121
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:52,979
I'm walking here.
122
00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:54,580
Love that line.
123
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:58,584
Then I saw some pussy that made
My heart stop.
124
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,386
Pussy was caught up in the tree.
125
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:03,022
>> [ meows ]
>> a little kid crying for it.
126
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,257
Poor kid.
127
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:07,460
Probably not old enough to tie
His shoes, and his damn kitten's
128
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:08,861
Life is in my hands.
129
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,229
Here you go, buddy.
130
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:13,833
Tipped the barista 5 bucks for
My soy latte.
131
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,234
These lattes are good.
132
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,171
Good enough to kill for, but I'd
Never do that.
133
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:23,576
Killing is bad, unless you're
Killing gingivitis.
134
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,645
[ baby cooing ]
>> 18.
135
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:32,485
19.
136
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,787
And 20, or one score.
137
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:35,621
>> whew.
138
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,890
>> getting a good ass-kicking in
Here.
139
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:41,060
Hey, robert e. Lee, where do you
Think you're going?
140
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:48,501
We still have three score and
Seven kicks to the balls to go.
141
00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,102
>> this is a robbery.
142
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:53,172
Fill this bag with
Inconsequential bills.
143
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,441
>> wow, I'm getting robbed by
Nicole richie.
144
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:56,409
>> shh. Shut up.
145
00:07:56,475 --> 00:07:58,945
I want to go to prison to save
My friend paris.
146
00:07:59,011 --> 00:07:59,946
>> for a robbery?
147
00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:02,014
They might just fine you for
That.
148
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,550
>> good point.
149
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,118
>> stupid celebrity.
150
00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:07,987
Armed robbery and murder?
151
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:10,489
You'll be locked up for 45 days.
152
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,058
>> am I locked up?
153
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:15,461
Perhaps it is you who are locked
Up, and I am truly --
154
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:16,929
>> shut up, you bitch!
155
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,231
Get out of my head!
156
00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:19,732
Aah! She's in my brain!
157
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,267
>> nicole, is that you?
158
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,501
>> paris!
159
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:25,872
I couldn't let my best bud/meal
Ticket rot in jail, now, could
160
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:26,239
I?
161
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:26,939
Wink.
162
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,774
>> but now we're both locked up.
163
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:29,876
>> don't worry.
164
00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:32,311
I had an escape plan tattooed on
Me.
165
00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:34,145
>> I recognize those symbols.
166
00:08:34,212 --> 00:08:35,715
>> they're words, paris.
167
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:37,316
>> what?
168
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:38,251
>> oh, yes!
169
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:39,018
Oh, yes!
170
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,553
Give it to me, guard.
171
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,154
Oh, yeah, that's good.
172
00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:43,556
Oh, you're the right guard.
173
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,892
>> yeah, that's hot, that's hot,
That's hot.
174
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:48,561
>> yeah, unlock my cell, my
Vagina cell.
175
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:49,295
Yeah!
176
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,529
>> whoo!
177
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,865
That was great, ladies, but now
You got to go right back into
178
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:55,268
Your --
[ gasping ]
179
00:08:55,334 --> 00:09:04,944
[ coughing ]
>> hey, I forgot to use the
180
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,078
Poison.
181
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,714
>> [ whining ] Oh, why does that
Keep happening to all my
182
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:09,582
Boyfriends?
183
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,684
>> you should really see a
Gynecologist.
184
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,020
>> we now cancel "Cavemen" to
Bring you breaking news from
185
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:15,254
Lynwood prison.
186
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:18,291
Noted celebutards paris hilton
And nicole richie have escaped.
187
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:21,494
Viewers will recall that
Nicole richie is the daughter
188
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:29,635
Of famous musician
Lionel richie.
189
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:31,170
>> nicole, it is over.
190
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,039
You got nowhere left to run.
191
00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:34,840
>> the joke's on you.
192
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,409
I weigh 62 pounds.
193
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:39,278
I can glide through the air like
A spider monkey.
194
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:40,947
>> up, up, and away, falkor.
195
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:41,480
>> no!
196
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:44,450
>> yay!
197
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,352
Aaah!
198
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,421
That's not hot.
199
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:53,526
>> mmm.
200
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:56,228
I could really go for another
One of those.
201
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:58,097
Where is our cabana boy?
202
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,266
[ flies buzzing ]
Paris!
203
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:03,536
[ both laugh ]
>> oops, I did it again...
204
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:04,837
With my vagina.
205
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,939
>> laughing makes me hungry.
206
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,342
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
207
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,477
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
208
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,612
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
209
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,781
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
210
00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:17,917
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
211
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,119
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
212
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,188
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
14940
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