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1
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It's alive!
2
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Kids, I've enlisted the help of
some rappers
3
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I've found on
the Craig's List to explain
4
00:00:43,496 --> 00:00:45,520
Einstein's theory of relativity.
5
00:00:45,597 --> 00:00:48,324
So come on in guys.
This is the class.
6
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7
00:00:54,064 --> 00:00:55,360
8
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we came prepared
9
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giving me
10
00:00:59,598 --> 00:01:01,996
the theory of relativity
11
00:01:02,066 --> 00:01:03,928
sucker fool
12
00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,487
it's measured in joules
13
00:01:06,565 --> 00:01:08,292
the M is for mass
14
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can kiss my ass
15
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,664
light in a vacuum
16
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some room
17
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requires rest energy
18
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19
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that appears
20
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mechanics, bitch
21
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Einstein mother fucker!
22
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Yo! We also got one about
algebra!
23
00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:37,862
Yeah, yeah, A squared times B
squared equals these nuts, bitch!
24
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:44,968
Ow, oh
Ow, oh.
25
00:01:45,036 --> 00:01:47,003
Uh, those things are anus
shattering.
26
00:01:47,069 --> 00:01:48,263
Uh, uh, uh!
27
00:01:48,337 --> 00:01:50,632
Over heated again?
28
00:01:50,703 --> 00:01:53,134
You cheap little rice burner
piece of crap!
29
00:01:53,203 --> 00:01:55,169
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
30
00:01:55,237 --> 00:01:58,204
Oh, yeah!
That's a weird traffic marking.
31
00:01:58,271 --> 00:02:01,135
Whoa!
Holy shit!
32
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,102
Oh, oh, ugh!
33
00:02:03,171 --> 00:02:06,160
Ow!
I can't feel my legs.
34
00:02:06,238 --> 00:02:07,704
Oh, oh thank you.
35
00:02:07,772 --> 00:02:09,738
Oh, oh thank you.
Bless you.
36
00:02:09,805 --> 00:02:11,930
I need to go to a hospital.
37
00:02:12,005 --> 00:02:13,733
Oh thank you so much.
Thank you.
38
00:02:13,806 --> 00:02:17,897
Oh, ahh, oh!
Ahh!
39
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,700
Mother fucking game!
40
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,035
Uh-oh, my war injury's
acting up again.
41
00:02:24,206 --> 00:02:25,934
Do it again uncle Glen!
42
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Maybe later.
43
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Uncle Glen needs a beer.
44
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Ahh.
45
00:02:35,473 --> 00:02:36,837
What the...
Who are you?
46
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,635
Removing your finger, that's a
good power uncle Glen.
47
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I must have it.
48
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Ahh!
49
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Kids, where's your uncle Glen?
50
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We don't know mama.
51
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He's gone.
52
00:02:52,309 --> 00:02:55,934
Uh, he must be having one of his
explosive diarrhea attacks again.
53
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,033
Oh.
54
00:03:03,843 --> 00:03:05,571
Every once in a while this power
backfires.
55
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:08,503
I can see!
56
00:03:08,577 --> 00:03:11,372
Oh Magoo,
you've done it again.
57
00:03:11,444 --> 00:03:13,876
What are all these dragons
made of metal...
58
00:03:30,212 --> 00:03:33,007
My goodness,
father what's that?
59
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,637
It appears to be a jungle
dwelling ape man.
60
00:03:35,713 --> 00:03:36,542
Yeah, yeah, I know.
61
00:03:36,613 --> 00:03:37,806
I meant that!
62
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,346
Oh, that's a penis.
63
00:03:39,414 --> 00:03:41,142
I think I like penis.
64
00:03:41,213 --> 00:03:43,180
Well...
you are your mother's daughter.
65
00:03:43,248 --> 00:03:44,975
Jane, me Jane.
66
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Jane!
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That's right, very good.
68
00:03:48,948 --> 00:03:53,903
Jane! Jane, Jane, ooh, ooh,
ooh Jane.
69
00:03:53,982 --> 00:03:55,709
Yes!
My name is Jane!
70
00:03:59,915 --> 00:04:01,711
Me save you!
71
00:04:07,016 --> 00:04:09,642
Tarzan, my hero.
72
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:10,807
Growl
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Tarzan,
my hero.
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00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:19,279
Ah!
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00:04:38,719 --> 00:04:44,278
Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Ahhh!
76
00:04:44,353 --> 00:04:47,376
Oh! Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Uh, uh, uh, uh
77
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Ahh!
78
00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:59,153
Ahh!
79
00:04:59,221 --> 00:05:05,779
Uh, ah, oh!
Uh, ah, oh!
80
00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:14,212
Huh!
81
00:05:14,289 --> 00:05:17,813
Tarzan, don't move,
I'll go get you a doctor.
82
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:22,948
No, Jane, humans bad.
Me no want doctor.
83
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,683
Me no want Jane neither.
84
00:05:25,757 --> 00:05:27,746
You mean either, not...
85
00:05:27,824 --> 00:05:30,255
Me freaking ape man,
me no give crap!
86
00:05:31,425 --> 00:05:33,686
Tarzan never saw Jane again,
87
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his broken body was mended by
the best jungle medicine
88
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the apes could provide.
89
00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:54,283
Uh-oh!
90
00:05:58,660 --> 00:05:59,989
Hmm?
91
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,185
I wonder where the ocean is
going.
92
00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:06,354
We the jury find the defendant,
delightful!
93
00:06:06,428 --> 00:06:08,156
Well thank you very much.
94
00:06:18,996 --> 00:06:21,121
I flossed and brushed
my teeth again.
95
00:06:21,195 --> 00:06:23,923
They say only floss the ones you
want to keep.
96
00:06:23,996 --> 00:06:25,621
I always liked that joke.
97
00:06:25,696 --> 00:06:27,821
Then I swished around some
mouth wash.
98
00:06:27,897 --> 00:06:29,920
Kills gingivitis.
99
00:06:29,997 --> 00:06:32,122
Damn gingivitis.
100
00:06:32,197 --> 00:06:33,924
Leading cause of gum disease.
101
00:06:33,997 --> 00:06:37,191
Saw an old lady trying to cross
the street.
102
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,992
Grandma couldn't have been less
than 90 years old.
103
00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:42,031
Probably seen a lot over those
years.
104
00:06:42,098 --> 00:06:46,292
Lots of stories to tell and a
family that loves her.
105
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:48,331
Let me help you out granny.
106
00:06:48,399 --> 00:06:51,558
Stopped the cars to make sure
granny could cross.
107
00:06:51,632 --> 00:06:52,825
I'm walking here!
108
00:06:52,899 --> 00:06:54,365
I love that line.
109
00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:58,756
Then I saw some pussy that made
my heart stop.
110
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Pussy was caught up in the tree.
111
00:07:01,032 --> 00:07:02,760
A kid crying for it.
112
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:05,856
Poor kid, probably not old
enough to tie his shoe
113
00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:09,025
and his damn kitten's life is in
my hands.
114
00:07:09,101 --> 00:07:10,362
Here ya go buddy.
115
00:07:10,435 --> 00:07:13,367
Tipped the barista five bucks for
my soy latte.
116
00:07:13,435 --> 00:07:16,662
These lattes are good.
Good enough to kill for.
117
00:07:16,735 --> 00:07:18,201
But I'd never do that.
118
00:07:18,268 --> 00:07:20,826
Killing is bad, unless you're
killing gingivitis.
119
00:07:30,736 --> 00:07:33,362
18, 19, and 20.
120
00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:34,630
Or one score.
121
00:07:34,702 --> 00:07:37,896
Getting a good ass kicking
in here.
122
00:07:37,969 --> 00:07:40,993
Hey Robert E. Lee, where do you
think you're going?
123
00:07:41,071 --> 00:07:44,901
We still have 3 score and 7
kicks to the balls to go.
124
00:07:44,970 --> 00:07:45,799
Ugh!
125
00:07:48,704 --> 00:07:50,170
This is a robbery!
126
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,965
Fill this bag with
inconsequential bills.
127
00:07:53,038 --> 00:07:55,163
Wow, I'm getting robbed by
Nicole Richie...
128
00:07:55,238 --> 00:07:56,430
Shh!
Shut up!
129
00:07:56,505 --> 00:07:59,369
I want to go to prison to save
my friend Paris.
130
00:07:59,439 --> 00:08:01,927
For a robbery, they might just
fine you for that.
131
00:08:02,005 --> 00:08:03,029
Good point.
132
00:08:04,839 --> 00:08:07,737
Stupid celebrity,
armed robbery and murder?
133
00:08:07,806 --> 00:08:09,670
You'll be locked up for 45 days!
134
00:08:10,706 --> 00:08:12,172
Am I locked up?
135
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,365
Perhaps it is you
who are locked up
136
00:08:14,441 --> 00:08:16,100
and I am truly free.
137
00:08:16,174 --> 00:08:18,072
Shut up you bitch!
Get out of my head!
138
00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:19,867
Ahh!
She's in my brain!
139
00:08:19,941 --> 00:08:20,963
Nicole, is that you?
140
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:21,869
Paris!
141
00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:25,270
I couldn't let my best bud/ meal
ticket rot in jail.
142
00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:26,806
Now could I?
Wink.
143
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,840
But now we're both locked up.
144
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:32,363
Don't worry, I have an escape
plan tattooed on me.
145
00:08:32,442 --> 00:08:33,907
I recognize those symbols.
146
00:08:33,974 --> 00:08:35,168
They're words Paris.
147
00:08:35,241 --> 00:08:36,265
What?
148
00:08:36,342 --> 00:08:37,534
Oh yes!
149
00:08:37,608 --> 00:08:39,574
Oh yeah, give it to me!
150
00:08:39,642 --> 00:08:45,598
Oh yeah, you're the right guard!
Yeah! Yeah!
151
00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:48,870
Yeah, unlock my cell!
My vagina cell!
152
00:08:48,943 --> 00:08:49,966
Yeah!
153
00:08:50,043 --> 00:08:53,134
Oh! That was great ladies, but
you got to go right back into...
154
00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:54,233
Oh!
155
00:08:55,411 --> 00:09:00,900
Agh!
156
00:09:03,044 --> 00:09:05,169
Hey, I forgot to use the poison.
157
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:09,075
Why does that keep happening to all
my boyfriends?
158
00:09:09,145 --> 00:09:11,111
You should really see a
gynecologist.
159
00:09:11,179 --> 00:09:12,577
TV Announcer:
We now cancel Caveman
160
00:09:12,646 --> 00:09:14,669
to bring you breaking news from
Lynn Wood prison
161
00:09:14,746 --> 00:09:17,211
noted celebutards Paris Hilton
and Nicole Richie
162
00:09:17,279 --> 00:09:18,337
have escaped.
163
00:09:18,413 --> 00:09:21,140
Viewers will recall that
Nicole Richie is the daughter
164
00:09:21,213 --> 00:09:22,940
of famous musician
Lionel Richie.
165
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:32,704
Nicole, it is over!
You've got nowhere left to run!
166
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,246
The joke's on you!
167
00:09:34,314 --> 00:09:37,338
I weigh 62 pounds,
I can glide through the air!
168
00:09:37,415 --> 00:09:38,880
Like a spider monkey!
169
00:09:38,948 --> 00:09:40,607
Up! Up! And away Falkor!
170
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,545
No!
171
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:44,172
Yeah!
172
00:09:52,715 --> 00:09:55,739
Hmm, I could really go for
another one of those.
173
00:09:55,817 --> 00:09:57,544
Where is our cabana boy?
174
00:09:59,149 --> 00:10:01,548
Paris!
175
00:10:01,617 --> 00:10:04,810
Oops! I did it again.
With my vagina.
176
00:10:04,883 --> 00:10:06,350
Laughing makes me hungry.
177
00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:08,883
178
00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:10,917
also also
179
00:10:10,984 --> 00:10:13,143
180
00:10:13,218 --> 00:10:15,207
also also
181
00:10:15,285 --> 00:10:17,410
182
00:10:17,485 --> 00:10:19,542
also also
183
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:21,346
Ba-gawk! Wow.
11991
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