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[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
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00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:26,025
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
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[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:40,407
[ machine-gun fire ]
>> oh, you idio--
5
00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,016
>> ♪ let's go, nerds ♪
>> yeah!
6
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:57,624
[ laughs loudly ]
>> oh, man, someone put liquid
7
00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:58,925
Heat in our jock straps.
8
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,260
>> oh, it burns!
9
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:04,063
>> [ laughs loudly ]
>> wow, stan, you were
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00:01:04,129 --> 00:01:05,131
Wonderful.
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00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,700
>> [ laughs loudly ]
>> you're that nerd!
12
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:09,936
[ gavel bangs ]
>> gentlemen, you have been
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00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,839
Convicted of illegal
Surveillance, invasion of
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00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:16,476
Privacy, multiple counts of
Assault, identity theft, and
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00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,610
Rape.
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00:01:17,676 --> 00:01:20,580
You are each ordered to serve
Not less than 44 years in
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00:01:20,646 --> 00:01:22,582
Maximum-security prison!
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00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,151
>> [ laughs loudly ]
[ gags ] Ow!
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00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:28,988
[ indistinct shouting ]
>> ne-e-e-e-e-e-rds!
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00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:31,424
>> are you guys thinking what
I'm thinking?
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00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:34,627
>> that this is the best day of
My entire life?
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00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:38,131
>> no. We've got to reach out to
Them.
23
00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,265
And that's how chemistry works.
24
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,936
See? It really isn't so hard.
25
00:01:43,002 --> 00:01:44,904
>> yo, I'm sorry for calling you
A nerd.
26
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:46,773
Changed my life, dog!
27
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,408
>> learnin' is fun!
28
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:49,809
I love learning!
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00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:52,045
>> [ thinking ] I've reached
Them.
30
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:53,346
I've reached them.
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00:01:53,413 --> 00:01:55,414
[ indistinct shouting ]
>> [ laughs loudly ]
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00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:05,091
>> conan, what is best in life?
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00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:12,198
>> ♪ what is best in life? ♪
♪ that is hard to say ♪
34
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:21,674
♪ for each man is unique ♪
♪ in his own way ♪
35
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:22,942
As a boy...
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00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:26,779
♪ I liked gumdrops and puppies,
Sailboats and frogs ♪
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00:02:26,846 --> 00:02:32,519
♪ and my best friend,
Little ricky maebius ♪
38
00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:39,158
♪ but when I became a young man,
What was best in life ♪
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00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:44,464
♪ began to change just like
My body ♪
40
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:48,334
♪ I liked pretty stacy lyons
With her long blond hair ♪
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00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:54,406
♪ and eyes that were blue
As the ocean ♪
42
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:58,912
♪ but now that I'm grown,
My thoughts have changed ♪
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00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:05,318
♪ and it's pretty clear to me ♪
♪ the answer to the question,
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00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:09,389
"What is best in life?" ♪
♪ is plain enough for all
45
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:12,926
To see ♪
♪ crush your enemies ♪
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00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:17,463
♪ crush your enemies ♪
♪ and see them driven before
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00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,233
You ♪
>> ♪ crush your enemies ♪
48
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:24,771
♪ crush your enemies ♪
♪ and see them driven before
49
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:31,811
You ♪
♪ and hear the lamentations of
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00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,381
The women ♪
[ rumbling ]
51
00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:45,825
>> [ roars ]
Did that blow your mind?
52
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,495
[ laughs evilly ]
>> welcome to
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00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:54,601
The star trek experience here in
Glamorous las vegas.
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00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:55,501
>> one, please.
55
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:57,070
>> that'll be $42.99.
56
00:03:57,136 --> 00:03:58,137
>> holy crap!
57
00:03:58,204 --> 00:03:59,639
Is that in space dollars?
58
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,809
>> [ laughs ] Excuse me, but
There is no such thing as
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00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,243
Space dollars.
60
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,479
Perhaps you're referring to the
Gold-pressed latinum, which is
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00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:09,315
The unit of currency commonly --
Ow! My kneecap!
62
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:10,984
>> so, $42.99.
63
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:12,685
>> welcome to the enterprise.
64
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,988
The klingons have been sighted
In the area.
65
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:16,255
>> fear not, my dear.
66
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:20,927
The regulation snugness of your
Uniform has my photon torpedo in
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00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,262
Launch position.
68
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,631
[ laughing ]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
69
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:29,769
[ panting, moaning ]
Hoo!
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00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:33,039
There's a hair trigger on this
Firing mechanism, if you know
71
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,040
What I mean.
72
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,776
>> on my command, r2-d2 -- huah!
73
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,112
[ farts ]
Fire lasers at pluto!
74
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,813
>> sir, I'm going to have to ask
You to leave.
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00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,650
>> what are you doing in my
Bathroom?
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00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:45,852
[ coughs ]
>> oh, geez.
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00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:49,122
Bridge to sanitation, someone
Took a dump on the captain's
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00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:52,825
Chair -- again.
79
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:53,893
>> hey, eddie, look at this.
80
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,528
Della reese lost 5 pounds.
81
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:56,362
Good for her.
82
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:57,630
Hey, you're not eddie.
83
00:04:57,697 --> 00:04:59,932
>> you will be assimilated.
84
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:02,101
>> resistance is futile.
85
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,569
>> attention, enterprise.
86
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,472
You thought were clever in
Hiding in this parallel
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00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:09,308
Dimension, but we have finally
Found you.
88
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:11,477
Prepare to be assimilated.
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00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:12,812
>> aw, is this in the script?
90
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,013
I can't ad-lib, man?
91
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,214
I suck at improv!
92
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:16,149
>> don't worry.
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00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:17,250
I was a groundling.
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00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:19,919
♪ hm, hm, hmm ♪
My clean little hands.
95
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,555
♪ mm hm hm ♪
Okay, little sprinkle of flour.
96
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:23,723
Shaky, shaky, shaky.
97
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,091
>> what are you doing?
98
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,160
>> gonna stir...
99
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,901
>> what?! Another enterprise?!
100
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,002
How can this be?!
101
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:39,138
[ explosion ]
All borg, return to the ship!
102
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,007
>> oh, cruel irony!
103
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:45,011
This is right out of my fanfic.
104
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,946
>> thank you, parallel-dimension
Enterprise.
105
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:47,880
>> both: yes, sir!
106
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,348
>> ooh! Oh, they're hot.
107
00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:50,883
Chocolate-chip cookie?
108
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,218
>> I...
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00:05:52,284 --> 00:05:55,021
What?
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00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,656
>> uh...
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Where am I?
112
00:05:57,824 --> 00:05:59,592
H-how'd I get up here?
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Are you guys s.A.G.?
114
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,229
Hello?
115
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,397
>> what's on the menu today?
116
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,199
>> I thought the inmates would
Enjoy a nice change of pace.
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00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:09,802
Broccoli, baked beans, coffee
Ice cream, and red bull.
118
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:10,937
>> oh, my god!
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00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,572
[ all farting, screaming ]
>> I think I've had enough of
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00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:19,078
That show.
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00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:19,712
Delete!
122
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:20,947
>> hey, what are you doing?
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00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:23,249
>> I don't want "Robot chicken"
On the dvr anymore.
124
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,617
>> no, I love "Robot chicken."
125
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:25,785
>> it's all farting and retards.
126
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:26,786
>> well, I like it.
127
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:27,620
>> tough titties.
128
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:28,955
>> ass! We split the cable bill!
129
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,156
>> tv doesn't have to be stupid.
130
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,924
It can be challenging and even
Brainy.
131
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,926
>> [ gun cocks ]
You want something brainy on the
132
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:34,527
Tv?
133
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:35,628
[ gunshot ] There!
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00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:36,562
Ha ha ha!
135
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:38,798
Oh. Oh, man.
136
00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:39,899
I ain't going to prison.
137
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,201
[ gunshot, thud ]
[ door opens ]
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00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:44,437
>> oh, my god! Gary!
139
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,339
Enrique!
140
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:47,406
I better call 911.
141
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,175
[ dialing ]
But I might as well watch a
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00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,077
Little "Robot chicken" while I
Wait for the cops.
143
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,180
[ all farting, screaming ]
>> do you see the problem here?
144
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:05,825
>> yeah. That hallway is, like,
Bizarrely huge.
145
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:06,893
>> that was fantastic, dave.
146
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:07,693
Take five.
147
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,828
We'll be right with you.
148
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:09,762
Man, I wish he was better.
149
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:11,230
>> yeah, but it's not too much
Of a problem.
150
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:12,932
I'll get rosie in here to adjust
The levels and such.
151
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:13,533
It'll sound good.
152
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:14,500
>> hey, did I tell you?
153
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:15,601
I took out rosie last friday.
154
00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:16,602
>> really? How'd it go?
155
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:17,470
>> she's got 13 toes.
156
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:18,704
>> what?
157
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,540
>> I took her to dinner and then
Invited her back to my place,
158
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,441
Thinking I'd get a little play,
Maybe a b.J. Or something.
159
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,744
She said her feet were hurting,
So I offered a massage -- you
160
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:25,912
Know, loosen her up a bit.
161
00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:28,014
So I take her shoes off, and --
Bam! -- three extra digits
162
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:28,915
Looking right at me.
163
00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:29,916
>> ugh. What'd you do?
164
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,384
>> pulled out a knife, cut them
Off.
165
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:31,884
>> what?
166
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:32,585
>> ha! Just kidding.
167
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:33,686
I gave her the massage.
168
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,521
She fell asleep, passed out
Right there on the couch.
169
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:36,222
>> what'd you do?
170
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,390
>> tucked her in, let her sleep.
171
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:38,491
>> that's it?
172
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:39,926
>> well, first I undressed her
And took some pictures.
173
00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:40,760
>> [ laughs ] Oh, boy!
174
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:41,828
Dude, you got to let me see 'em.
175
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:43,396
>> I'll show them to you right
When we're done.
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00:07:43,462 --> 00:07:44,864
>> then let's get this over
With.
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00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,966
I have been dying to see what
Rosie's hiding under that
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Hunting jacket.
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00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,268
>> huh. Wonder where he went?
180
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,370
>> he probably just stepped
Outside for some air.
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00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:53,906
Let me see the pictures before
He comes back.
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00:07:53,973 --> 00:08:07,353
[ door opens, closes ]
[ no audio ]
183
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:13,759
[ camera shutter clicking ]
[ applause ]
184
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,027
>> oh, man.
185
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:16,462
Where are we?
186
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:17,930
Chained up next to slater?
187
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,932
This really is a torture
Chamber.
188
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,634
>> hey, where's screech?
189
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,603
>> all in due time, children.
190
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:24,637
>> you jerkwad!
191
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,239
>> what have you done with our
Friend?
192
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:29,275
>> if you really want to know...
193
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,276
>> look at me!
194
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,611
I'm jesus!
195
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:35,280
>> in that case, god should
Demand a paternity test.
196
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:37,817
[ laughter ]
>> silence!
197
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:40,519
In the center of the room is a
Red button.
198
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:43,356
Press it, and
Samuel "Screech" powers will be
199
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:44,457
Torn to pieces.
200
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,592
[ audience boos ]
>> now, why the heck would we do
201
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:47,693
That?
202
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,296
>> press the button, and I let
The rest of you go free.
203
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,964
>> that's an impossible choice.
204
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:52,999
You're sick!
205
00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:55,902
>> sorry. [ chuckles ]
It's kind of my only hobby.
206
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:57,403
>> wow, that is devious.
207
00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:58,704
Kind of wish I thought of that.
208
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:02,742
[ laughter ]
>> the game begins...
209
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,477
Now!
210
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,179
>> if we push the button, we all
Go free.
211
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,382
>> slater, don't even think
About it.
212
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:10,850
>> just press the button.
213
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,051
You're my best buds.
214
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,352
Save yourselves!
215
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:14,887
>> oh, screech.
216
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:15,988
>> forget it, screech.
217
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,590
All for one and one for all.
218
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,092
[ applause ]
>> children, I forgot to mention
219
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:21,260
Something.
220
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:27,600
If you press the button, you
Also get free corvettes!
221
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,202
>> get out of my way!
222
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,270
>> nothing's happening?
223
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,271
Why isn't he dead yet?
224
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:32,872
>> no!
225
00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:33,873
>> work, damn it!
226
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,007
>> hang on! Hang on!
227
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,676
Stop hitting the button so hard.
228
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:37,810
You're breaking it!
229
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:38,878
>> make it work!
230
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,112
>> I hate you guys!
231
00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:43,683
I can't believe I masturbated to
Kelly and wanted to bang lisa!
232
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:44,617
You suck!
233
00:09:44,684 --> 00:09:45,785
>> yo [bleep] The button.
234
00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:47,053
Just give me a blunt object.
235
00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:48,120
I'll beat him to death.
236
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,989
>> stop! Stop! Just stop! Stop!
237
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,524
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
238
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,092
W-wait a minute.
239
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:56,128
It's me! [ laughs ]
[ applause ]
240
00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:57,763
Principal belding.
241
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,598
You're not really prisoners.
242
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:03,736
This was just a trust exercise
To help students learn to depend
243
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,738
Upon each other.
244
00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:09,675
>> [ grunting ]
>> stop! Stop!
245
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:10,876
Stop!
246
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,044
>> just slit his throat!
247
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,179
>> use my nail file!
248
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,147
>> for the love of god!
249
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:17,183
[ bell rings ]
Yes, slater?
250
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:18,951
>> so, we really don't get
Corvettes?
251
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:21,153
>> no. Are there any other
Questions?
252
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:22,355
>> me, me, me, me, me!
253
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:26,258
>> are there any questions not
Pertaining to corvettes?
254
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:27,393
>> aw, man.
255
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,061
>> I [bleep] Hate you guys.
256
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:33,933
[ laughter and applause ]
>> ♪ saved by the bell ♪
257
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,369
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
258
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:38,504
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
259
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,639
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
260
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,808
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
261
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,944
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
262
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,146
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
263
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,215
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
18713
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