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1
00:00:18,944 --> 00:00:20,844
It's alive!
2
00:00:39,198 --> 00:00:40,028
Ugh!
3
00:00:40,098 --> 00:00:42,032
This food NASA sent up is crap.
4
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,727
Yep, but I got an idea.
5
00:00:43,802 --> 00:00:45,394
Hey, Kool-aid!
6
00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:46,869
Oh, yeah!
7
00:00:46,939 --> 00:00:48,099
Aaahhh!
8
00:00:56,648 --> 00:00:58,206
Yeah, there we go.
9
00:00:58,283 --> 00:01:00,251
I am a potato.
10
00:01:00,319 --> 00:01:03,015
Encyclopedia Brown is on the
case!
11
00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:05,921
Aha!
Miss September has implants.
12
00:01:05,991 --> 00:01:07,117
I swear, Hazel.
13
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:09,023
I don't know what to do with
that man.
14
00:01:09,094 --> 00:01:11,688
He just won't ask his boss
for a raise.
15
00:01:11,763 --> 00:01:14,231
When I married Roger,
he had such balls.
16
00:01:14,299 --> 00:01:15,698
Where did his balls go?
17
00:01:15,767 --> 00:01:17,029
Dad's balls are missing?
18
00:01:17,102 --> 00:01:18,899
A mystery!
19
00:01:18,971 --> 00:01:20,336
Brown!
20
00:01:20,405 --> 00:01:23,272
You really screwed up these
figures again!
21
00:01:23,342 --> 00:01:24,172
Yes, sir.
22
00:01:24,243 --> 00:01:25,232
Who has shit for brains?
23
00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:26,140
Me.
24
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,041
What's that?
25
00:01:27,112 --> 00:01:28,807
I do.
I have shit for brains.
26
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:29,744
That's better.
27
00:01:29,815 --> 00:01:32,010
Hmm...
28
00:01:33,986 --> 00:01:34,850
Wow.
29
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,683
I've been a bartender 18 years
30
00:01:36,755 --> 00:01:40,191
and never seen anyone cry actual
tears into their beer.
31
00:01:40,259 --> 00:01:42,352
Kudos, chum.
32
00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:44,190
Thanks.
33
00:01:44,263 --> 00:01:45,992
Mm-hmm.
34
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:58,008
Strippers always get so mad when
you assume they're hookers.
35
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,408
Well, I definitely am one.
36
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,048
Mm-hmm.
37
00:02:04,116 --> 00:02:05,583
Aha!
38
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,220
You know, in the rest of the
world,
39
00:02:09,288 --> 00:02:11,813
soccer is called
football.
40
00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:13,187
Hey! Hey!
41
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,226
Ow!
Ohh!
42
00:02:15,294 --> 00:02:16,158
What's going on?
43
00:02:16,228 --> 00:02:17,388
Why are you touching...
44
00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:18,292
Hello, there.
45
00:02:18,363 --> 00:02:19,295
What you've just seen is a
46
00:02:19,364 --> 00:02:22,458
dramatization of the new asshole
laws enacted by congress,
47
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,058
which go into effect
January 1st.
48
00:02:24,136 --> 00:02:25,501
It's now a federal offense
49
00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:29,028
to point out that soccer is
actually called football.
50
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,699
Uh, in fact, no "Star Trek"
51
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:33,438
episode contains the words
"Beam me up, Scotty."
52
00:02:33,512 --> 00:02:34,444
Aah!
Ouch!
53
00:02:34,513 --> 00:02:35,878
Ow! My arm.
Aah! Aah!
54
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:36,879
Ow!
55
00:02:38,383 --> 00:02:40,977
You know, Iceland is actually
green,
56
00:02:41,053 --> 00:02:43,715
and Greenland is actually
icy?
57
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,552
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
58
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:48,184
Oh, help me, help me, help!
59
00:02:49,027 --> 00:02:52,121
"Heroes" is way better because
it actually answers stuff.
60
00:02:52,197 --> 00:02:55,098
On "Lost," they don't even know
what they're doing.
61
00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:56,099
What are you doing?
62
00:02:56,168 --> 00:02:58,033
No, wait!
63
00:02:59,538 --> 00:03:02,439
I can't believe we just
survived a nuclear war.
64
00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:03,405
Yeah.
65
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,773
Everyone we know is either dead
or a zombie.
66
00:03:05,844 --> 00:03:08,836
We've got plenty of food, but
most of it's crap.
67
00:03:08,914 --> 00:03:11,849
Oh, you know what would
really hit the spot right now?
68
00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:13,976
Hey, Kool-aid!
69
00:03:14,052 --> 00:03:15,576
Oh, yeah!
70
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:18,851
Aw, yeah!
71
00:03:18,924 --> 00:03:21,222
Aaahhh!
72
00:03:21,293 --> 00:03:24,319
Oh, yeah.
73
00:03:24,396 --> 00:03:27,365
We are here today to announce
Michael Jackson's deal
74
00:03:27,432 --> 00:03:31,334
to perform exclusively at
Las Vegas' Excelsior hotel.
75
00:03:31,403 --> 00:03:32,335
# Hoo-hoo #
76
00:03:32,404 --> 00:03:35,840
To promote the deal,
we created this.
77
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,637
It's even more beautiful than
I thought!
78
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,823
What the...
What's it doing?
79
00:04:04,603 --> 00:04:06,332
No!
No, stop!
80
00:04:06,405 --> 00:04:07,633
Why won't it stop?
81
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:08,695
Mmm!
82
00:04:08,774 --> 00:04:09,866
Big boy.
83
00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:12,432
Yes, I suppose it is a good
restaurant.
84
00:04:12,511 --> 00:04:15,036
What do you mean,
"restaurant"?
85
00:04:16,681 --> 00:04:19,309
Encyclopedia,
where have you been?
86
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,376
Mom, I solved the mystery of
dad's missing balls.
87
00:04:22,454 --> 00:04:25,218
See, there they are... right
between his legs...
88
00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:27,019
and in that strange lady's
mouth.
89
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,559
Aaahhh!
90
00:04:29,194 --> 00:04:30,024
Look, Hansel.
91
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:31,960
I'm dropping bread crumbs to
mark our way.
92
00:04:32,030 --> 00:04:33,327
Our way back to our father
93
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,093
who left us for dead in the
forest?
94
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,259
Whee!
95
00:04:36,334 --> 00:04:38,928
Gretel, you are the smartest
girl I know.
96
00:04:39,004 --> 00:04:39,834
Thanks.
97
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,065
That was not a compliment.
98
00:04:41,139 --> 00:04:42,128
I'm hungry.
99
00:04:42,207 --> 00:04:44,607
Let's eat this house.
100
00:04:45,811 --> 00:04:46,937
Mmm!
101
00:04:47,012 --> 00:04:48,104
Frosting!
102
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:49,875
I think that's bird shit.
103
00:04:49,948 --> 00:04:50,778
Mmm!
104
00:04:50,849 --> 00:04:52,339
Bird shit!
105
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,247
Children!
106
00:04:53,351 --> 00:04:54,181
Both:
Aah!
107
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:57,221
You must come inside.
You need a good meal.
108
00:04:57,289 --> 00:04:59,621
# La la-la la-la #
109
00:05:02,961 --> 00:05:06,692
It'll be so nice to have you
for lunch.
110
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:08,790
Double entendre!
111
00:05:10,235 --> 00:05:11,725
No! No!
112
00:05:11,803 --> 00:05:12,701
Ow!
113
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,238
I'm burning alive!
114
00:05:14,306 --> 00:05:15,432
Why?!
115
00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:18,175
We'll sell more gingerbread
than ever
116
00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:20,643
when my wife is done building
her candy house.
117
00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:22,646
The press we'll get is enormous.
118
00:05:22,714 --> 00:05:25,945
Oh, how she loves making
children happy!
119
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,216
Both: Revenge is a dish best served hot.
120
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,651
The end.
121
00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:36,820
And what was the moral of the
story, baby?
122
00:05:36,895 --> 00:05:38,522
Exactly!
123
00:05:38,597 --> 00:05:40,360
Good night.
124
00:05:43,535 --> 00:05:45,696
And now back to...
125
00:05:46,938 --> 00:05:47,870
Kids!
126
00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:50,636
Kids?
127
00:05:51,676 --> 00:05:52,734
So long, Flash.
128
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,540
You'll have to pick up the pace
129
00:05:54,613 --> 00:05:56,706
if you want to catch
Reverse Flash.
130
00:05:58,884 --> 00:05:59,873
Ugh!
131
00:05:59,951 --> 00:06:01,350
Again with Reverse Flash!
132
00:06:01,419 --> 00:06:04,820
He looks just like me but with
the exact opposite color scheme.
133
00:06:04,890 --> 00:06:05,720
Brilliant.
134
00:06:05,790 --> 00:06:07,280
At least he wears a mask.
135
00:06:07,359 --> 00:06:09,054
Bizarro Superman looks just me
136
00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:12,187
but with a face like somebody
threw up in a ice tray.
137
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,095
Seriously, it looks like someone
shit out kryptonite
138
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,689
and then
put it on someone's face again.
139
00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:17,792
Have you ever seen
Negative Wonder Woman?
140
00:06:17,869 --> 00:06:20,030
Hey, Wonder Woman!
141
00:06:20,105 --> 00:06:21,504
Fuck you!
142
00:06:21,573 --> 00:06:24,599
Now, where did I leave my
visible jet?
143
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:25,574
Oh, look!
144
00:06:25,644 --> 00:06:26,736
There it is.
145
00:06:26,811 --> 00:06:28,676
Easy to find.
146
00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:31,579
Don't grab her or anything.
147
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:32,742
I'd grab her.
148
00:06:32,817 --> 00:06:34,682
Grab her till she couldn't
walk.
149
00:06:34,753 --> 00:06:35,583
Booyah!
150
00:06:35,654 --> 00:06:37,121
Ugh!
151
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,951
Aw, man, am I thirsty.
152
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,150
Me too.
153
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,250
Want to know what would really
hit the spot?
154
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:44,557
Hey, Kool-aid!
155
00:06:51,836 --> 00:06:54,202
Oh, yeah!
156
00:06:54,272 --> 00:06:55,671
Hey, get your hands off me.
157
00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:56,900
I won an Oscar.
158
00:06:56,975 --> 00:06:59,307
Did you?
Huh? Did jew?
159
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,436
Get it?
I said "jew."
160
00:07:01,513 --> 00:07:04,277
What are you looking at,
vag badge?
161
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,878
Take me to rehab!
162
00:07:09,754 --> 00:07:12,552
Yeah, I love sex and
Johnnie Walker.
163
00:07:12,624 --> 00:07:15,218
Paris, I'm actually
Jimmie Walker.
164
00:07:15,293 --> 00:07:16,157
Ew!
165
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,524
I got to get to rehab.
166
00:07:17,596 --> 00:07:20,156
Lindsay, are you okay?
167
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,994
Aaahhh!
168
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,262
Experts are baffled by this
recent trend...
169
00:07:24,336 --> 00:07:27,203
celebrity after celebrity
rushing off to rehab.
170
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,900
Coincidence or something more?
171
00:07:29,975 --> 00:07:32,102
You're all acting crazy.
172
00:07:32,177 --> 00:07:35,772
You're going to expose our plan
to take over the world.
173
00:07:35,847 --> 00:07:37,405
Stop that.
174
00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:40,315
Yeah, something is
Affecting us.
175
00:07:40,385 --> 00:07:41,352
Oh.
Oh, god.
176
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,852
I still taste Jimmie Walker.
177
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,786
Are you consuming enough alcohol
rations
178
00:07:44,856 --> 00:07:47,324
to kill earth's
deadly atmospheric bacteria?
179
00:07:47,392 --> 00:07:48,757
More than enough.
180
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,124
Shaznook!
181
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,356
It must be having some sort of
side effect.
182
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,057
Yeah, look at Lindsay.
183
00:07:54,132 --> 00:07:57,590
You know, 'cause on our planet
she was a neurosurgeon.
184
00:07:57,669 --> 00:07:59,830
So hungry!
185
00:07:59,904 --> 00:08:02,338
Must feed freckles!
186
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,939
Tinkerbell!
187
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:08,639
Then we need to act now before
the effects get any worse.
188
00:08:08,713 --> 00:08:12,410
Shed your skin and initiate
attack sequences.
189
00:08:14,653 --> 00:08:16,450
Paris, take out Bush.
190
00:08:16,521 --> 00:08:17,783
M'kay.
191
00:08:17,856 --> 00:08:19,153
President Bush.
192
00:08:19,224 --> 00:08:20,054
M'kay.
193
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,285
Britney, return our child king
194
00:08:21,359 --> 00:08:23,327
to the home world for safekeeping.
195
00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:25,795
'Kay, y'all.
Come on, Sean Preston.
196
00:08:25,864 --> 00:08:27,889
Where did I leave that little
baby?
197
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,695
Lindsay, you...
198
00:08:30,769 --> 00:08:31,701
uh...
199
00:08:31,770 --> 00:08:33,294
you, uh...
200
00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:35,601
Guard this coffee cup.
201
00:08:35,674 --> 00:08:37,972
Oh, just do whatever you want.
202
00:08:38,043 --> 00:08:39,772
Hey.
You're not one of us.
203
00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:41,209
No, I'm not.
204
00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:45,238
I just love this uniform and
Team Hatred.
205
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:46,510
Everyone together now!
206
00:08:46,584 --> 00:08:48,108
Schnell! Schnell! Schnell!
207
00:08:48,186 --> 00:08:50,347
Let's go kill people!
208
00:08:51,623 --> 00:08:52,851
Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!
209
00:08:52,924 --> 00:08:54,084
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
210
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,457
Oh, hell, I left your car seat
211
00:08:56,528 --> 00:09:00,430
in the "Skymall" catalog
that I meant to order it from.
212
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,022
All right, sit on my lap, baby.
213
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,091
This will be safe.
214
00:09:06,705 --> 00:09:09,367
Sean Preston,
use your baby wings!
215
00:09:09,774 --> 00:09:12,299
Oh, my...
god.
216
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,607
Ewww!
217
00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:17,347
Well, more where that came from.
218
00:09:17,415 --> 00:09:19,212
Everyone, I'm a lizard!
219
00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:20,751
I'm a lizard!
220
00:09:20,819 --> 00:09:21,808
No, my son.
221
00:09:21,886 --> 00:09:23,547
You're just an anti-Semite.
222
00:09:23,621 --> 00:09:26,488
I want to be a lizard!
223
00:09:29,728 --> 00:09:31,355
Don't touch me, Jew.
224
00:09:31,429 --> 00:09:33,522
Give it up, lizard,
or we'll blow your head off!
225
00:09:33,598 --> 00:09:34,792
Ha ha, you idiots.
226
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,460
Don't you know anything about
geometry?
227
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,729
I'm a lizard.
228
00:09:38,803 --> 00:09:41,203
My head will always grow back.
229
00:09:41,272 --> 00:09:42,466
Check it out.
230
00:09:46,277 --> 00:09:48,541
Take that, President Bush!
231
00:09:49,514 --> 00:09:51,573
What are you doing to my
husband?
232
00:09:51,649 --> 00:09:53,446
You married your son?
233
00:09:53,518 --> 00:09:54,712
Eww!
234
00:09:54,786 --> 00:09:57,880
That's the other
President Bush, you hussy!
235
00:09:57,956 --> 00:09:59,821
That's George Bush Sr.
236
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:02,257
Read my lips...
call an ambulance.
237
00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:05,854
Nobody messes with my snookums.
238
00:10:09,868 --> 00:10:12,564
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
239
00:10:15,974 --> 00:10:18,204
Ow.
Stop.
240
00:10:18,276 --> 00:10:20,244
Don't try to run now, 'cause
it's coming.
241
00:10:20,311 --> 00:10:22,074
Ow!
Oh, you tricked me.
242
00:10:22,147 --> 00:10:23,341
Here it comes.
243
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,244
Hold on.
244
00:10:24,315 --> 00:10:26,408
Get ready for the sweet release.
245
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:41,194
From the moment the visitors
drank our alcohol...
246
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,494
they were doomed.
247
00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:46,970
For through a million years of
keggers and beer blasts,
248
00:10:47,038 --> 00:10:49,302
man had earned his tolerance.
249
00:10:52,544 --> 00:10:53,533
Earthlings rule!
250
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:54,441
Yeah!
251
00:10:54,512 --> 00:10:56,275
I'm the mother fucking
President of this planet.
252
00:10:56,347 --> 00:10:57,439
Together:
Earth!
253
00:10:57,515 --> 00:10:58,777
Earth!
Earth! Earth!
254
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:02,108
Earth! Earth!
Earth! Earth!
255
00:11:02,187 --> 00:11:04,087
Oh.
256
00:11:04,155 --> 00:11:05,645
Did I miss something?
257
00:11:05,723 --> 00:11:08,055
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
258
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:10,185
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #
259
00:11:10,261 --> 00:11:12,320
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
260
00:11:12,397 --> 00:11:14,490
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #
261
00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:16,625
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
262
00:11:16,701 --> 00:11:18,828
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk #
263
00:11:18,903 --> 00:11:20,894
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
15803
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