Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:15,982
[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
2
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:26,025
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
3
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:38,304
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:41,274
>> in "Tonight's news," you can
Find the words "Night," "Tight,"
5
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:45,111
"Tits," "Tots," "Stew," "Wino,"
"Ghost" and the name "Toni," if
6
00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:46,379
Spell it with an "I."
7
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:48,815
[ horns honking ]
>> oh, my god!
8
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:49,516
Oh, my god!
9
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:50,250
Oh, my god!
10
00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:51,117
Oh, my god!
11
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:53,119
Not one more day of this!
12
00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:56,656
Not one more day!
13
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,967
[ laughing diabolically ]
Oh, this is gonna be good.
14
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,136
[ chuckling ]
>> honey, what are you doing?
15
00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:10,770
>> shut up!
16
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,006
That's what I'm doing.
17
00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:18,445
[ engine revving ]
Ha!
18
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:20,547
Time to go to work.
19
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:21,614
>> be careful, dear.
20
00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,116
>> you are not the boss of me!
21
00:01:23,183 --> 00:01:24,584
[ tires screeching ]
Aah!
22
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,123
Jewish [bleep] Holiday!
23
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:33,226
>> [ grunts ]
Ha!
24
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,862
Are you not entertained?!
25
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,163
>> no!
26
00:01:37,229 --> 00:01:38,231
Do a dance!
27
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:41,668
>> [ groans ]
♪ ah doo bop da-da la doo da ♪
28
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,637
♪ da ooh dah ♪
♪ ah ta da dun dun dun da-dun ♪
29
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:49,876
♪ diddly daa! ♪
Are you not entertained now?!
30
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,744
>> tell a joke!
31
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:55,348
>> [ sighs ]
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk
32
00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:58,651
Walk into a --
>> what's a rabbi?!
33
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,854
>> okay, I'm gonna show you
These cards, and you just tell
34
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:01,721
Me what you see.
35
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:02,822
>> breasts!
36
00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:03,456
Boobs!
37
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:04,224
Knockers!
38
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:04,958
Funbags!
39
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:05,692
Hooters!
40
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:06,759
Dirty pillows!
41
00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:07,660
Milk sacks!
42
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:08,328
Ta-tas!
43
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:08,995
Melons!
44
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:09,795
Gazongas!
45
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:10,597
Flesh pumpkins!
46
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:11,331
Sweater meat!
47
00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:12,232
Nipple backstops!
48
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:14,000
Big, bopplin' boobly oobly
Ooblies!
49
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,268
Two moons in tractor beam!
50
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,937
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm!
51
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,874
>> just tell me your demands and
We can end this!
52
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:23,977
There's no reason to hurt those
Babies!
53
00:02:24,043 --> 00:02:28,414
>> all I want is for someone to
Tell me that they love me!
54
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:37,624
[ silence ]
I knew nobody loved me!
55
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:40,760
It's your fault, mom!
56
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,130
Why didn't love me?!
57
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:47,300
>> veringular -- we're dropping
Your calls on purpose, and there
58
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,536
Isn't [bleep] You can do about
It.
59
00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:51,504
>> happy birthday, son!
60
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:52,572
>> wow!
61
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,141
It's the mustang I've always
Wanted!
62
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:56,142
Wow, dad!
63
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:59,045
I can't believe that you --
Hey.
64
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,080
Aw, dad, what'd you do that for?
65
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,248
>> wait, that's my car.
66
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:03,249
Yours is over there.
67
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,085
>> oh --
Aw!
68
00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:08,788
>> I've made a deal that will
Keep the empire out of our
69
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,890
Affairs forever.
70
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:19,299
>> [ breathing heavily ]
>> [ roaring ]
71
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:27,907
>> we'd be honored if you could
Join us.
72
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:29,976
>> [ breathing heavily ]
[ grunting ]
73
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:46,926
[ slurping ]
>> c-can I get a little more
74
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:47,327
Water?
75
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,328
>> what?
76
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,562
>> nothing!
77
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:51,631
I just asked for more water.
78
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,569
Hmm?
79
00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:57,570
>> ckk!
80
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,172
>> rrr!
81
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:00,440
>> pkww!
82
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,775
>> [ exhaling ]
Rrr!
83
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:08,915
>> so, how we doing?!
84
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,017
Leia, how's the soup?
85
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,352
You ever have soup this good?
86
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,087
>> yes, on alderaan.
87
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:18,858
>> hey, princess, let it go.
88
00:04:20,726 --> 00:04:22,295
"Oh, help me!
89
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:25,298
We're a peaceful planet!"
"You may fire when ready."
90
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,868
Boo-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!
91
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:29,736
Big laser!
92
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:31,337
Pkk-k-k-k-k-k-k!
93
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,539
Alderaan chunks everywhere!
94
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:36,709
Ps-s-s-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
95
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,080
>> anyone, uh...
96
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,215
Anyone got a joke?
97
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:43,249
>> I've got one.
98
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:47,387
Who's got two thumbs and
Betrayed his best friend?
99
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:48,621
This guy!
100
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:53,126
[ laughing ]
Uh...Too soon?
101
00:04:53,192 --> 00:04:56,295
>> well, it's been a time and a
Half, but --
102
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:59,832
[ yawning ]
Lot of torturing to do.
103
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,768
A boo-oop bah boo!
104
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,803
Doo deedle-dee doo doo!
105
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,171
Aroo-oo!
106
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:08,941
[ crashing ]
>> from the people who claim
107
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:13,246
"300" is a true story comes the
Tale of our nation's birth.
108
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:16,549
>> general washington, the
Redcoats outnumber us a billion
109
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:17,483
To 12!
110
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,352
>> fear not, american!
111
00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,854
For tonight, we dine...
112
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:24,223
In virginia!
113
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,595
[ horse neighing ]
[ bell tolls ]
114
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:33,166
>> king george would like to
Speak with you.
115
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:36,269
>> this is a british colony!
116
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,503
>> british?
117
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:40,606
This is america!
118
00:05:42,207 --> 00:05:44,110
[ roaring ]
Hancock, now!
119
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,795
Y-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!
120
00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:09,368
>> it ain't accurate, but it'll
Blow your [bleep] Mind.
121
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:12,939
>> and the power cell recharges
As it moves.
122
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:16,275
It's a revolution in robotic
Longevity!
123
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:16,876
Yes?
124
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,244
>> can you [bleep] It?
125
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,245
>> excuse me?
126
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,514
>> can you [bleep] It?
127
00:06:21,581 --> 00:06:22,348
>> no.
128
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,617
>> oh, jeez! Come on!
129
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:27,520
>> tragedy struck today as
Beloved children's icon
130
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,189
Raggedy ann committed suicide by
Steam press.
131
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:32,859
Viewers will remember that her
Longtime companion,
132
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:36,462
Raggedy andy, died in the late
'80s and is now a permanent part
133
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,698
Of the aids quilt.
134
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,032
>> all too common.
135
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:42,568
While boys hang on to action
Figures forever, girls dump
136
00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:45,171
Their old playthings with a
Cruel lack of compassion.
137
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,873
But enough about my personal
Life.
138
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:49,509
What happens to girls' toys when
They're no longer loved?
139
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:53,279
Jem was on top of the rock 'n'
Roll world in the '80s, but when
140
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:56,549
She fell, she fell hard --
Some say right into a
141
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:57,617
Cheesecake.
142
00:06:57,683 --> 00:07:00,486
>> ♪ the wheels on the bus go
Quack quack quack ♪
143
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:03,790
♪ open and shut ♪
♪ beep beep beep ♪
144
00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:06,993
♪ the driver on the bus goes
Swish swish open quack ♪
145
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:10,062
♪ bus beep beep ♪
♪ that's how it goes ♪
146
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,397
>> no, they don't!
147
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:14,767
You're ruining my party!
148
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,737
>> ♪ little stupid bitch better
Shut the [bleep] Up ♪
149
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:21,240
You want to know what's truly,
Truly outrageous?
150
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,775
Chlamydia.
151
00:07:22,842 --> 00:07:23,910
>> $40, right?
152
00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:26,412
You know, this is really
Embarrassing, but in the '80s, I
153
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,447
Used to masturbate to you all
The time.
154
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:32,185
>> yeah, you were just a boy
Then, but now you're a man,
155
00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:32,885
Right?
156
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,987
>> well, yes -- a married man.
157
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,056
>> so, is it an open marriage
Or --
158
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,125
[ coughing ]
So, is it an open marriage?
159
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:53,673
>> the teenage mutant ninja
Turtles briefly added a fifth
160
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:57,243
Member with a very special
Accessory -- a vagina.
161
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:00,346
But after getting dumped from
The team, venus chose to end her
162
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:03,049
Life the way all discarded
Turtles meet their maker.
163
00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:05,718
>> seen it a million times --
Tried to flush herself down the
164
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:06,752
Toilet.
165
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,188
>> ironically, when she died,
She crapped herself.
166
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,057
>> is that ironic or just funny?
167
00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:14,193
>> strawberry shortcake was
Bullied for years by the evil
168
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,361
Purple pieman.
169
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,763
Now, for the first time, she'll
Get to confront her former
170
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:18,698
Tormentor.
171
00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:20,600
[ doorbell rings ]
>> [ italian accent ] Eh?
172
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,034
Who's there?
173
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:23,703
I am blind now.
174
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:26,439
The diabetes saw to that.
175
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,941
Cha-cha-cha cha.
176
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,710
Still got the moves, ha ha.
177
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:33,212
>> and so strawberry shortcake
Has been denied the
178
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,614
Confrontation she so craves.
179
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:35,648
>> oh, no!
180
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:36,716
Bull crap!
181
00:08:36,782 --> 00:08:38,517
>> aah!
182
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,253
>> what the --
>> [bleep]
183
00:08:40,318 --> 00:08:41,153
Aah!
184
00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:44,390
Mother [bleep]
Take my berries now, bitch!
185
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:45,424
Yaah!
186
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:48,628
[ bones cracking ]
Whoo!
187
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:51,864
I told that mother [bleep] I'd
Bury him, and that's not some
188
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:54,100
Fruit-related speech impediment.
189
00:08:54,165 --> 00:08:58,971
B-u-r-y -- bury, like in the
[bleep] Ground.
190
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,008
>> rainbow brite was a huge hit
With girls -- and boys who
191
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:02,942
Wanted to be girls.
192
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,610
So, rainbow, what have you been
Up to?
193
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,480
>> well, after I retired as
Ruler of rainbow land, I
194
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:10,483
Continued to seek out all the
Pretty colors of the world.
195
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:14,287
I dated a black guy, a korean
Guy, a black guy, a puerto rican
196
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:17,957
Guy, a black guy, some indian
Guys -- dot and feather -- a
197
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:21,761
Black guy, a black guy -- oh,
Another black guy -- daddy was
198
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:22,828
So pissed.
199
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:25,431
>> and how does sailor moon make
A living these days?
200
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,401
>> I sell my used panties to old
Men online.
201
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:31,637
>> it's a tragedy when a beloved
Icon is discarded on purpose.
202
00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,740
>> we cabbage patch people were
Abandoned as soon as we grew out
203
00:09:34,807 --> 00:09:36,742
Of our cute baby stage.
204
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,611
Adoption, my asshole.
205
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:41,747
>> with nobody to care for them,
The cabbage patch community fell
206
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:43,849
On hard times.
207
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:46,686
Perhaps the greatest tragedy of
All befell chatty cathy.
208
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,555
After witnessing a mob crime,
The mafia tried to make sure she
209
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:50,723
Couldn't talk.
210
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:54,093
>> [ mumbling ] They cut out my
Tongue, but I would not be
211
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,428
Intimidated.
212
00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:57,463
I testified anyway.
213
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,831
>> oh, good for you.
214
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:02,101
>> I wish I was dead.
215
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,837
>> let's never again forget that
Those girls' toys of yesteryear
216
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,273
Should be treated with the
Dignity and respect that they
217
00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:07,907
Deserve.
218
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,042
>> [ gasps ]
Am I done yet?
219
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,011
>> you'll know, chatty cathy.
220
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,413
You'll know.
221
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,816
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
222
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:18,951
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
223
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:21,087
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
224
00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:23,255
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
225
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,391
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
226
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,593
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
227
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,662
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
16061
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
