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1
00:00:18,878 --> 00:00:20,778
It's alive!
2
00:00:46,305 --> 00:00:47,533
In a world of
low expectations,
3
00:00:47,607 --> 00:00:50,098
Many people will stoop to please
the general public,
4
00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:52,667
but only 17 will put on
the fat suit!
5
00:00:52,745 --> 00:00:53,939
Damn!
6
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:56,641
Now see the movie you've
already seen...
7
00:00:56,716 --> 00:00:57,842
I'm sliding!
8
00:00:57,917 --> 00:00:59,509
...100 times before!
9
00:00:59,585 --> 00:01:01,075
Giblet greens!
10
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,817
Complete with dancing
scenes...
11
00:01:06,893 --> 00:01:09,862
Farting scenes...
12
00:01:09,929 --> 00:01:10,861
and, of course, sex scenes,
13
00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:12,192
yeah!
14
00:01:12,265 --> 00:01:14,324
Ain't you want your
girlfriend who's hot?
15
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,731
That's me!
16
00:01:18,971 --> 00:01:21,701
It's the second best fat-suit
movie in at least four months.
17
00:01:22,175 --> 00:01:25,042
So, you see, sharing is
great!
18
00:01:25,111 --> 00:01:27,477
Ga! Ga! Ga! Ga! Ga! Ga! Ga!
19
00:01:27,547 --> 00:01:28,946
Aw, call 911.
20
00:01:29,015 --> 00:01:31,882
Victor's stroking out again.
21
00:01:33,052 --> 00:01:34,917
Hey, baby, buy you a drink?
22
00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,784
Sure.
What's your name?
23
00:01:36,856 --> 00:01:37,914
Big Jim.
24
00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:40,015
That's a really interesting
name.
25
00:01:40,092 --> 00:01:41,389
What do you do for a living?
26
00:01:41,460 --> 00:01:43,690
Well, little lady,
since you asked...
27
00:01:43,763 --> 00:01:45,230
28
00:01:45,298 --> 00:01:48,358
the big-ass action battle plan
29
00:01:48,434 --> 00:01:49,958
30
00:01:50,036 --> 00:01:53,665
and beating Zorak like a bitch
31
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,902
Zorak might just have a flash
32
00:01:56,976 --> 00:01:58,409
33
00:01:58,477 --> 00:02:00,502
you're a ninja puss
34
00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:01,672
35
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,307
You're ugly!
36
00:02:06,319 --> 00:02:07,980
Booya!
37
00:02:08,054 --> 00:02:09,783
Yeah!
38
00:02:09,855 --> 00:02:12,187
Wow, you wanna go back to my
place?
39
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:13,247
Yeah, sure, baby.
40
00:02:13,326 --> 00:02:14,725
Just let me drain
the lizard first,
41
00:02:14,794 --> 00:02:17,228
the trouser trout,
the legless iguana...
42
00:02:17,296 --> 00:02:18,957
I'm talking about going to the
bathroom
43
00:02:19,031 --> 00:02:21,226
real quick before we
get out of here.
44
00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,631
Hello, pretty lady.
45
00:02:22,702 --> 00:02:23,896
Oh, hello.
46
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:26,768
Do you want to know why they
call him "Big Jim"?
47
00:02:32,211 --> 00:02:34,702
It's a very ironic nickname.
48
00:02:36,182 --> 00:02:39,379
How about you, me,
your bed...
49
00:02:41,587 --> 00:02:45,455
Loud screams, god being called,
everyone smiles?
50
00:02:47,193 --> 00:02:51,960
Zorak is a cock block pro
51
00:02:52,031 --> 00:02:56,127
52
00:02:56,936 --> 00:03:00,497
All: If you don't buy us, we get killed!
53
00:03:00,573 --> 00:03:01,699
Check it out!
54
00:03:01,774 --> 00:03:02,832
I'm a mom!
55
00:03:02,908 --> 00:03:05,638
Look at my pretty jacket because
I'm a lady!
56
00:03:05,711 --> 00:03:06,735
I've got boobs!
57
00:03:07,747 --> 00:03:09,112
Oh, my!
58
00:03:09,181 --> 00:03:10,170
What the...
59
00:03:13,085 --> 00:03:14,017
Is this your mom?
60
00:03:14,086 --> 00:03:14,916
Ow! Ow!
61
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:16,648
Is this your mom?!
62
00:03:16,722 --> 00:03:17,950
Yes! Yes!
63
00:03:18,024 --> 00:03:19,548
I want my mommy!
64
00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:20,853
Why?!
65
00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:24,656
Bring in the horses!
66
00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:26,561
Oh, no, no, no, no!
67
00:03:26,632 --> 00:03:27,656
Aah!
68
00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:29,499
Ha!
69
00:03:29,568 --> 00:03:32,298
That'll show you for making fun
of my backpack...
70
00:03:32,371 --> 00:03:34,134
Oh, wait a minute.
71
00:03:34,206 --> 00:03:37,141
This isn't Billy's place!
72
00:03:37,209 --> 00:03:39,734
Are your hired mercenaries
not as good as advertised?
73
00:03:39,812 --> 00:03:42,042
Well, come on down to
Dave's Mercenary Warehouse.
74
00:03:42,114 --> 00:03:43,604
We kill the right guy or your
money back.
75
00:03:45,451 --> 00:03:47,419
What I want is
the color of snow
76
00:03:47,486 --> 00:03:49,716
and make snails understand
death!
77
00:03:49,789 --> 00:03:50,813
Aah!
78
00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:52,858
For crying out loud,
here is the salt!
79
00:03:52,925 --> 00:03:54,859
Just ask for the salt!
80
00:03:54,927 --> 00:03:55,859
What a great double date!
81
00:03:55,928 --> 00:03:57,054
Yeah!
82
00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,892
And, oh, my god,
"Ghost Rider" was excellent!
83
00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:00,397
I really should get you home.
84
00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:02,525
There's supposed to be a full
moon tonight.
85
00:04:02,601 --> 00:04:03,829
Oh, Dan, what,
86
00:04:03,903 --> 00:04:06,098
are you gonna turn into a
werewolf or something?
87
00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:09,266
Yeah, the werewolf who bit me
was pretty clear about that.
88
00:04:09,342 --> 00:04:10,309
Damn it, Dan!
89
00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,638
If you knew there was
a full moon,
90
00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:13,076
why'd you even come out
tonight?
91
00:04:13,145 --> 00:04:14,976
Well, my roommate brought
home a gutter skank,
92
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:17,447
and I figured we'd walk out of
"Ghost Rider" anyway...
93
00:04:17,516 --> 00:04:18,346
Man!
94
00:04:21,721 --> 00:04:23,279
Hey! Hey! Hey!
95
00:04:23,356 --> 00:04:26,325
Ramona, he wasn't really a
werewolf!
96
00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:29,122
That Dan is always making up
stories.
97
00:04:29,195 --> 00:04:31,527
Wow, he was really
convincing!
98
00:04:31,597 --> 00:04:33,224
Ha, he really got you!
99
00:04:34,266 --> 00:04:35,961
Best gag ever!
100
00:04:36,035 --> 00:04:37,127
That was so funny.
101
00:04:37,203 --> 00:04:40,570
I mean, I really thought he was
a werewolf.
102
00:04:40,639 --> 00:04:43,904
Hey, aren't you Doug Funnie
from that show "Doug"?
103
00:04:43,976 --> 00:04:44,806
Yeah.
104
00:04:44,877 --> 00:04:45,844
Oh, that's awesome.
105
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,037
What have you been up to?
106
00:04:47,113 --> 00:04:48,478
Nothin'.
107
00:04:55,988 --> 00:04:58,252
It started to rain at a
quarter to 2:00
108
00:04:58,324 --> 00:04:59,416
when the children both cried...
109
00:04:59,492 --> 00:05:01,357
Both:
We've got nothing to do!
110
00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:04,624
They played their kerplunkas
and spun their spindaddies.
111
00:05:04,697 --> 00:05:07,257
Why, they even found mother's
vibratoraties.
112
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:10,063
When suddenly there came a knock
at the door.
113
00:05:10,136 --> 00:05:11,694
The boy nudged his sister.
114
00:05:11,771 --> 00:05:13,033
Go get it, you whore!
115
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,630
She rose from her seat and
walked towards the noise.
116
00:05:15,708 --> 00:05:16,675
Who could it be?
117
00:05:16,742 --> 00:05:18,141
She hoped it was boys.
118
00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:20,610
But what entered the house through
the fog oh-so thick
119
00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:23,512
was a cat in a hat with an
enormous dick.
120
00:05:23,582 --> 00:05:26,608
He sang a short song and played
a few toots...
121
00:05:26,685 --> 00:05:28,915
when all of a sudden, he noticed
poor boots.
122
00:05:28,988 --> 00:05:31,218
The boy searched around for a
pen and a pad.
123
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,815
This guy's a pro, much better
than dad.
124
00:05:33,893 --> 00:05:36,327
But before the two children
could learn a new trade,
125
00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:37,885
the cat pushed them outside.
126
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,158
I'm trying to get laid!
127
00:05:40,232 --> 00:05:42,632
So with nowhere to go but
over the hill,
128
00:05:42,701 --> 00:05:45,067
the children set off for the
town of Whoreville.
129
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:48,072
They passed a few vagrants,
a hooker, a corpse,
130
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,734
trying their best not to vomit,
of course.
131
00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:53,005
Though it got pretty hard as
they passed by a can
132
00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:56,878
where a man tried to shit out
some blue eggs and spam.
133
00:05:56,949 --> 00:05:59,315
Finally they arrived at their
mom's place of work
134
00:05:59,385 --> 00:06:02,149
as a jolly old man walked out
with a smirk.
135
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:04,712
It was Itchy McGray who was
there every day.
136
00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:08,021
And though his doctor sure
pleaded, he could not stay away.
137
00:06:08,093 --> 00:06:09,560
He had caught whore diseases.
138
00:06:09,628 --> 00:06:11,095
He had picked at whore scabs.
139
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:13,393
Why he even picked up a case of
whore crabs.
140
00:06:13,466 --> 00:06:15,491
But all of a sudden,
he started to run
141
00:06:15,568 --> 00:06:18,366
'cause the children's drunk
father showed up with a gun.
142
00:06:18,437 --> 00:06:19,904
He was mean. He was mad.
143
00:06:19,972 --> 00:06:21,405
He was seven feet tall.
144
00:06:21,474 --> 00:06:26,343
But the bulge in his pants was
two sizes too small...
145
00:06:26,412 --> 00:06:28,846
which may have explained why he
went on a spree
146
00:06:28,914 --> 00:06:31,246
of shooting the whores as they
started to flee.
147
00:06:31,317 --> 00:06:32,614
One bitch!
Two bitch!
148
00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:34,312
Old bitch!
New bitch!
149
00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:36,980
...he said with a laugh as their
bodies did twitch.
150
00:06:37,056 --> 00:06:40,025
He stared at his wife as he
squeezed on his glock.
151
00:06:40,092 --> 00:06:43,357
I know it's your job, but
why'd you hop on my pop?!
152
00:06:43,429 --> 00:06:44,691
We needed the cash!
153
00:06:44,763 --> 00:06:46,754
...She said through her
tears.
154
00:06:46,832 --> 00:06:49,494
And besides, you haven't
touched me in years.
155
00:06:49,568 --> 00:06:51,035
But I've got just the thing.
156
00:06:51,103 --> 00:06:52,593
She knew just what to do.
157
00:06:52,671 --> 00:06:56,437
Let's go home right now and
make three kids, not two.
158
00:06:56,509 --> 00:06:59,273
And so the kids' father got
his own way.
159
00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:02,803
And the bulge in his pants grew
three sizes that day.
160
00:07:02,882 --> 00:07:05,942
And the low-income family began
life anew,
161
00:07:06,018 --> 00:07:09,954
at least till next month when
the rent would come due.
162
00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:11,046
Lion-o!
163
00:07:11,123 --> 00:07:13,921
The evil mutants are coming!
164
00:07:13,993 --> 00:07:15,824
Thunder!
Thunder!
165
00:07:15,895 --> 00:07:16,725
Thund...
166
00:07:16,795 --> 00:07:17,887
Ow!
167
00:07:17,963 --> 00:07:19,021
Snarf!
168
00:07:19,098 --> 00:07:21,464
Oh, Snarf, what have I done?!
169
00:07:21,534 --> 00:07:26,699
Lion-o, listen closely, for
these are my dying words.
170
00:07:26,772 --> 00:07:29,605
Yes? Yes?
171
00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:40,711
Sna-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-rf!
172
00:07:40,786 --> 00:07:42,344
No, no time to grieve.
173
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,685
Those evil mutants
are on the way!
174
00:07:44,757 --> 00:07:46,247
Uh, we made that up.
175
00:07:46,325 --> 00:07:49,089
Yeah, we were kinda just
f'ing with ya.
176
00:07:49,161 --> 00:07:52,597
Oh, Snarf, your final resting
place will be on our mantel
177
00:07:52,665 --> 00:07:54,633
where we can remember you
always.
178
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,531
Where should we put
this vase now?
179
00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:57,796
Oh, anywhere.
180
00:07:57,870 --> 00:08:00,236
You did a really good job
stuffing him, Lion-o.
181
00:08:00,306 --> 00:08:01,204
Jaga!
182
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:02,763
Snarf is in a better
place now.
183
00:08:02,841 --> 00:08:05,309
But young Lion-o still needs a
nagging nursemaid.
184
00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:06,674
At last!
185
00:08:06,745 --> 00:08:11,682
My chance to destroy that
accursed Lion-o has arrived!
186
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:12,614
Idiot!
187
00:08:12,685 --> 00:08:15,176
This is the magic cauldron!
188
00:08:15,254 --> 00:08:17,722
That's the laundry cauldron!
189
00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:21,521
Get out of my way!
190
00:08:21,594 --> 00:08:23,619
I'm gonna get it,
you dumb bitch!
191
00:08:23,696 --> 00:08:24,663
Stupid head!
192
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:25,662
Stupid girl!
193
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:29,223
Hello.
I'm Mrs. Mumblety-peg.
194
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:31,030
The catsitting service sent me.
195
00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:32,229
You're old.
196
00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:34,329
You smell like buttholes
stuffed with wet dog.
197
00:08:34,406 --> 00:08:36,101
Children!
198
00:08:36,175 --> 00:08:38,166
Respect your elders.
199
00:08:40,412 --> 00:08:42,243
Washy! Washy!
200
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:49,887
Lion-o, eat your veggies!
201
00:08:49,955 --> 00:08:52,947
Mmm.
202
00:08:56,629 --> 00:08:57,789
Doh!
203
00:08:57,863 --> 00:08:59,228
Shit!
204
00:09:06,972 --> 00:09:08,439
It's Mrs. Mumblety-peg!
205
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:09,997
Oh, come in.
206
00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:12,100
I'm just taking a bath.
207
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:13,166
Oh!
208
00:09:13,245 --> 00:09:15,440
I thought you were bathing,
dear.
209
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:16,845
I am.
210
00:09:16,915 --> 00:09:20,180
Gee, for a catsitter, you don't
know a lot about cats.
211
00:09:20,252 --> 00:09:22,720
Oh, wow!
212
00:09:22,788 --> 00:09:27,725
Um... Mrs. Mumblety-peg needs to
go masturbate... I mean,
213
00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:30,785
um, uh, see, Mrs.... What I
meant was,
214
00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:33,195
Mrs. Mumblety-peg...
215
00:09:33,265 --> 00:09:35,130
Fuck it,
I'm gonna go masturbate.
216
00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:43,570
That's Mumm-ra!
217
00:09:43,642 --> 00:09:45,200
Stop right there, Mumm-ra!
218
00:09:45,277 --> 00:09:46,141
Oh, my god!
219
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:48,304
I'm having a private moment!
220
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,007
He's getting away!
221
00:09:50,082 --> 00:09:52,175
You stupid Thundercats!
222
00:09:53,686 --> 00:09:55,813
I'll be back!
223
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:57,082
Ow, god damn it!
224
00:09:57,156 --> 00:09:58,521
Not this shit again fuck,
225
00:09:58,590 --> 00:10:01,684
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
226
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,854
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
227
00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:08,593
Oh, Snarf, even in death,
you've saved the Thundercats.
228
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:10,134
We'll never forget you.
229
00:10:10,202 --> 00:10:13,262
On the other hand, that thing
is really ugly.
230
00:10:13,338 --> 00:10:14,930
Ugh.
231
00:10:15,774 --> 00:10:18,299
232
00:10:18,377 --> 00:10:20,436
also also
233
00:10:20,512 --> 00:10:22,571
234
00:10:22,648 --> 00:10:24,741
also also
235
00:10:24,817 --> 00:10:26,876
236
00:10:26,952 --> 00:10:29,079
also also
237
00:10:29,154 --> 00:10:31,145
Ba-gawk! Wow.
14951
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