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1
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[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
2
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:26,025
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
3
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:38,304
[ electricity crackling ]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,607
>> I-I don't -- I don't know
What's going on.
5
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,175
This never really happens to me.
6
00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,778
>> not having a penis never
Happens to you?
7
00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:47,580
>> bartender, give me a scotch,
A backup scotch, and a boiler.
8
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:50,350
That's a shot of scotch floating
In a bigger glass of scotch.
9
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:52,118
Now, scotch me, scotch face.
10
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:53,753
>> wow, are you scottish?
11
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,022
>> I am u.S. Senator
Ted kennedy.
12
00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:59,659
>> I'm jenna jameson, the
World's most famous porn star.
13
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,660
What's wrong?
14
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,595
>> celebrities in politics.
15
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:05,063
Schwarzenegger, ventura,
Franken.
16
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:08,201
Soon, bloated, repulsive
Politicians like me won't find
17
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:09,369
Work anymore.
18
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:12,138
>> hey, celebrities take work
Away from honest porn stars,
19
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:15,542
Too -- paris hilton,
Pam anderson, screech.
20
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:16,976
>> what the hell's a screech?
21
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:18,111
Aw, screw it, jenna.
22
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,880
If my family's taught me
Anything, it's that there's only
23
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,782
One good way to get rid of
Somebody.
24
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,717
>> crash their plane into the
Ocean?
25
00:01:24,783 --> 00:01:25,819
>> no, the other way.
26
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:26,853
>> drive off a bridge?
27
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,255
>> no, I'm talking about...
28
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:32,725
[ gun cocks ]
>> yah!
29
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:35,929
Paris, get that [bleep] Out of
Your mouth.
30
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,130
That's my job.
31
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:41,935
[ gunshot ]
[ dog barking ]
32
00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:44,270
>> remember when I said I'd kill
You last?
33
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:48,341
>> no, I don't recall that --
Oh, you are doing a line from my
34
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:48,975
Movie.
35
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:49,843
>> I lied.
36
00:01:49,908 --> 00:01:51,377
>> I know how it goes.
37
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,279
Aah!
38
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:54,581
You suck!
39
00:01:54,646 --> 00:01:55,949
>> sayonara, scotch.
40
00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:56,850
>> screech.
41
00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:57,783
>> whatever.
42
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,320
[ cheers and applause ]
[ engine revving ]
43
00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:02,455
>> aah!
44
00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:08,595
>> holy schnikes!
45
00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:10,797
[ cellphone rings ]
Hello?
46
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,432
>> seth, honey, are you at the
Oscars?
47
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,100
>> no, mom, I'm watching them at
Home.
48
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,435
>> why aren't you at the oscars?
49
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:16,970
>> 'cause, mom, I wasn't
Nominated.
50
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:19,239
>> when are you going to start
Doing prestige pictures?
51
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,473
>> I do work I'm proud of.
52
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:23,343
>> apparently, a little fellow
Named oscar thinks differently.
53
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:24,410
>> god damn it!
54
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:30,617
>> this is the greatest day of
My life!
55
00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:32,552
>> oh, baby.
56
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,692
>> micro machines man here to
Tell you about the genuine,
57
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,829
Original, marvelously majestic
Micro machines collection.
58
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,231
Make these cars zoom and vroom,
Veer and sneer, jump and bump.
59
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,600
Micro machines man used to own a
1965 mustang convertible, but
60
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,869
His wicked wife took it and
Everything he owned in a divorce
61
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,038
Proceeding that left yours truly
Emasculated, devoid of
62
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,374
Testicles, nothing but an empty
Scrotum swinging between his
63
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,743
Legs, like a portentous pendulum
Ticking away the remains of
64
00:02:56,809 --> 00:02:57,977
Yesterday's youth and vigor.
65
00:02:58,043 --> 00:03:00,380
The sea cow from the black hole
Married micro machines man not
66
00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:02,615
For the promise of eternal
Tongue tickling, but for an
67
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,884
Amorphous amore only a succubus
Could inflict on a balding
68
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:06,052
Butthead with poor prospects.
69
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,253
I'll never see my kids again.
70
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,689
Tonight's the night when a rigid
Remington rifle barrel gets
71
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,292
Frenetically fellated and brain
Matter goes splatter and the big
72
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:14,694
Blanket of darkness gives cold
Comfort to a broken bastard.
73
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,031
For product you can't take with
You to the grave, buy galoob.
74
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,399
>> be careful, daddy.
75
00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:21,534
>> [ smooches ]
>> aah!
76
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:32,712
[ western music plays ]
>> draw.
77
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:52,298
[ gunshots ]
[ gun clicks ]
78
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:58,071
[ gunshot ]
>> ow!
79
00:03:58,137 --> 00:03:59,539
>> no!
80
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:00,673
>> I did it, princess!
81
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,942
I've been through hell and back
To save you.
82
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,110
>> oh, thank goodness.
83
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,345
Ganon was such a beast.
84
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:06,779
>> I was a little bit badass.
85
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,549
Yeah, I killed thousands of
Octoroks and retrieved the
86
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,384
Triforce of wisdom, just for
You.
87
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:15,488
>> I truly appreciate it.
88
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:16,589
Truly.
89
00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:19,358
>> yeah, yeah, a good fantasy
Adventure it was, with a
90
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,994
Wonderful fairy-tale ending.
91
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,695
>> eh-heh.
92
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:26,032
Look, kid, I know where you're
Going with this, and you have to
93
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,667
Realize that I barely know you.
94
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:31,070
>> but I'm the one who --
>> I've been rescued before.
95
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:33,206
It's part of being a princess.
96
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:36,109
>> yeah, but --
>> of course, the first time I
97
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:39,646
Was ever rescued, I [bleep] That
Guy's brains out.
98
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:40,647
Hoo!
99
00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,249
Ha!
100
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,752
But you're like the
Eighth-something.
101
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:46,886
I've lost track.
102
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,521
>> but it's my first time.
103
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,356
I mean, in more ways than one.
104
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:53,659
>> look, some cherries you get
To pop, some you don't.
105
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:56,663
How long did this rescue take
You, 20, 30 hours?
106
00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:58,131
>> it took me 50 hours.
107
00:04:58,197 --> 00:04:58,698
>> 50?
108
00:04:58,765 --> 00:04:59,999
Wow, you suck.
109
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:03,069
Oh, look, I only have eight
Rupees.
110
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,904
Take it for your time.
111
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:05,972
Take it, thanks.
112
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,173
A grateful kingdom.
113
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,741
I'm out.
114
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:12,612
>> [ sighs ]
Then I will save you, my
115
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:13,880
Princess.
116
00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:17,316
>> and now watch me escape from
This straitjacket.
117
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:22,555
[ grunting, giggling ]
Success!
118
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,290
I told you I'd do it!
119
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,759
[ laughs ]
>> why are you clapping?
120
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,896
A violent schizophrenic rapist
With touches of dementia and the
121
00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:31,798
Strength of eight men just
Escaped.
122
00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:34,033
>> yeah, he escaped from his
Straitjacket.
123
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:34,867
>> really?
124
00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:36,069
I would have loved to have seen
That.
125
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:37,537
>> aah!
126
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:39,572
>> now smile.
127
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,240
Perfect, yes.
128
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,308
[ farts ]
>> that stopped him.
129
00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,057
>> yeah, but, man, a spike
Strip?
130
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,460
I mean, couldn't we have tried a
Warning first?
131
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,528
>> yeah, we could have, but we
Didn't.
132
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,230
[ laughs ]
>> actually, I prefer
133
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:08,968
African-american lagoon, thank
You very much.
134
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,538
>> once again, good trumps evil,
And general spidrax's plan has
135
00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:13,740
Been thwarted.
136
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:16,876
>> but I'm sure spidrax will be
Spinning a new web of deceit
137
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,244
Before long, dargon.
138
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,813
>> [ laughs ]
Spidrax, spinning web.
139
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,717
I see what you did there, zak,
And I like it.
140
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:27,754
[ laughs ]
Dragonflyer, you ignorant bitch,
141
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,288
Heed my telepathic commands.
142
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:30,490
>> you use telepathy?
143
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,558
I always just kick mine in the
Ribs.
144
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:35,328
>> wait, we're being pulled into
A tractor beam.
145
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:37,697
>> it must be spidrax weaving a
New web.
146
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,899
>> the time for spider puns is
Past.
147
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:40,967
Prepare to fight.
148
00:06:41,033 --> 00:06:42,368
Aah!
149
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:43,736
Aah!
150
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:44,937
>> oh, goodness.
151
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,572
That was a big one.
152
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:52,111
>> make sure your bindles are
Stowed properly.
153
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:57,316
Please direct your attention to
The exits here and here.
154
00:06:57,383 --> 00:07:00,820
The meal today will be a
Warmed-up can of beans, and the
155
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:04,157
In-flight movie will be
Crazy john acting out scenes
156
00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:05,491
From "Forrest gump."
157
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:07,994
>> but you ain't got no legs,
Lieutenant dan!
158
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:11,397
>> enjoy your flight, and thank
You for flying homeless
159
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:13,966
Airlines.
160
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:14,967
>> aah!
161
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,069
>> and that's how I'm gonna get
Home to alaska.
162
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,572
>> I'm the president of jelly
Beans!
163
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:21,107
>> turn your head and cough.
164
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,442
>> [ coughs ]
>> ah, just as I suspected.
165
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:26,379
You let a stranger grab your
Balls.
166
00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:29,415
[ machine beeping ]
>> all right, I'm gonna
167
00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:31,184
Disconnect your air machine.
168
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,019
Then you're gonna go to sleep.
169
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:44,096
And then I'll give you a shot,
And you'll stay asleep.
170
00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:54,574
>> "Mo chuisle" means "My
Darling," "My blood."
171
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,676
>> [ smooches ]
[ beeping quickens, flatline ]
172
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:07,053
>> for picture quality that puts
Cable to rest, you've got to
173
00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:08,788
Pick directv.
174
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,995
[ bell ringing ]
>> boss, this is taking forever.
175
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,683
>> keep chopping, you drain
Clog.
176
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:41,520
Once we harvest the energy of
The oldest tree in eternia, we
177
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:45,024
Can destroy castle grayskull
Once and for all!
178
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:49,228
>> you know, skeletor, based on
Our track record, this probably
179
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,162
Won't work.
180
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:53,199
>> uh, life's a journey, not a
Destination.
181
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,800
>> not so fast, skeletor.
182
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:57,737
Trees are some of our most
Precious resources.
183
00:08:57,803 --> 00:08:59,739
>> uh...
184
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:01,440
Who are you talking to?
185
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:02,541
>> your face.
186
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:03,743
>> ow!
187
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:06,612
>> you know what they say --
A bird in the hand is worth two
188
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:07,446
In the bush.
189
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:08,281
>> stop it.
190
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,949
>> what, you gonna cry now?
191
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:11,751
You gonna cry like a big baby?
192
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:14,186
>> I don't even have tear ducts,
You jerk.
193
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:15,655
>> you know what you need?
194
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:19,125
A good skull [bleep]
>> what?
195
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,059
>> uh!
196
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,695
What the --
>> oh, crap!
197
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:23,796
Oh, crap!
198
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:25,464
Beast man, what did you do?
199
00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:26,532
>> I don't know.
200
00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:29,435
I mean, I thought he would block
It or something.
201
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:30,703
I mean, he's he-man.
202
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,372
>> this is the first murder in
Eternian history.
203
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:36,309
If the king finds out, it's the
Guillotine for us all.
204
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,076
>> oh, god.
205
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:38,077
Oh, god.
206
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,513
Oh, we're up [bleep] Creek
Without a paddle, man.
207
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:43,449
>> ♪ he-man ♪
>> okay, read that back to me.
208
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,952
>> "Being he-man sucked more
Than you think.
209
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:49,655
Falling backwards onto an ax
Now, the way I always talked
210
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:50,623
About doing.
211
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,191
Love, he-man."
212
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,459
>> foolproof!
213
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,495
>> let's get the hell out of
Here.
214
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:57,730
>> oh, no.
215
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:02,501
I must tell king randor and the
Sorceress this terrible news.
216
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:08,140
>> ♪ he-man ♪
[ thunder crashes ]
217
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,308
>> oh, we're so dead.
218
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,777
Oh, we're so dead, we're so
Dead, we're so dead, we're so
219
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:12,478
Screwed.
220
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,913
>> I'm turning over a new leaf.
221
00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:17,583
From this point forward, I'm no
Longer evil-lyn.
222
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:20,052
You may call me good-lyn.
223
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,053
>> heh.
224
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,855
You know, I always thought your
Name was evelyn.
225
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:23,656
It's weird.
226
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,791
All this time, it's been
Evil-lyn?
227
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,226
>> pretty clever, right?
228
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,094
>> no.
229
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,764
[ banging ]
>> oh, game over, man, game
230
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:32,531
Over.
231
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,300
>> why is that door locked?
232
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,702
I've got to take a dump.
233
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:41,207
Holy [bleep]
>> all: aah!
234
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:44,310
>> I have the power!
235
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:48,247
>> I have crapped my pants!
236
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,417
>> ♪ he-man ♪
>> orko, oh, thank goodness you
237
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,486
Found he-man's sword of power.
238
00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:56,389
We can use it to bring him back
To life.
239
00:10:56,455 --> 00:11:00,092
>> he-man would be back and I'd
Be regular orko again?
240
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,193
>> absolutely.
241
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:04,630
>> yeah, but then that happened.
242
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:06,699
[ whistles ]
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
243
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:12,538
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
244
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,340
Bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
245
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,842
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
246
00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:18,577
Bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
247
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,180
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
248
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:31,223
Bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
249
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:32,290
Bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
18224
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