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1
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,043
It's alive!
2
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,674
Can you show us the area
where the man touched you?
3
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:43,165
Right here...
4
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,734
on my penis!
5
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,026
I got to stop eating macaroni
and cheese with every meal.
6
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,254
It's nature's ass cork.
7
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,693
Tiny, you're late.
8
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,628
Your team needs you in battle.
9
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,791
Okay, here we go!
10
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,631
Ho ho ho ho ho ho!
11
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,230
All:
Oh!
12
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:13,136
Tiny!
13
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,107
That is terribly gross.
14
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:16,233
How embarrassing.
15
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,902
We're just concerned, Tiny.
16
00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:19,673
Yeah, the problem's getting bigger.
17
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:20,645
Like your stomach.
18
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,181
Just let me eat my pizza in peace.
19
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,580
That's not pizza.
20
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:26,586
That's the cardboard circle you
microwave the pizza on!
21
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,281
Oh.
22
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:38,394
It's Zoltar!
23
00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:39,295
Okay, team...
24
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:40,731
G- force!
25
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,864
Wow, Tiny,
that was impressive.
26
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:51,201
You're my he-hero!
27
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,212
Looks like fatty's stealing
all our thunder.
28
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,212
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
29
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,714
Uh-huh.
30
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:59,184
Hey, Tiny, I thought we could
celebrate today's vic... wow.
31
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:02,313
Okay, we were not thinking the
same thing at all here.
32
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:03,874
Hello, and welcome to
"Mythbusters. "
33
00:02:03,909 --> 00:02:05,359
On today's episode,
the holocaust.
34
00:02:05,394 --> 00:02:06,527
Hold that thought, Adam.
35
00:02:06,562 --> 00:02:07,712
Mythbusters.
36
00:02:07,747 --> 00:02:08,827
Please help!
37
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,159
My son won't stop masturbating.
38
00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:13,561
I told him he'll go blind, but
he says that's just a myth.
39
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,931
Is that true?
40
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:15,832
We got one!
41
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,435
Masturbation does not
cause blindness.
42
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:25,273
The only correlation
between the two
43
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,371
is that semen contains a
large amount of zinc.
44
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,007
As much as. 25
milligrams of zinc
45
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:31,574
to one milliliter of
seminal fluid.
46
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:34,678
A deficiency of zinc can
cause blindness.
47
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,154
But the loss of zinc through
masturbation
48
00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:38,054
isn't nearly enough
to cause a deficiency.
49
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,587
You called about a myth?
50
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,890
Yeah, I thought we just...
51
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,624
There's no time!
52
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,892
Oh, my God!
53
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,900
Both:
Mythbusters, go!
54
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,993
Aah!
55
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,128
I'm sorry!
56
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:54,231
I swear I'll never
masturbate again!
57
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,673
Another myth busted.
58
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,734
Both:
Here on "Mythbusters"!
59
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:00,546
Ow!
60
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,216
Mother... fucking
piece of shit!
61
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,292
Are you Timmy?
62
00:03:12,327 --> 00:03:13,592
Damn it!
63
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,151
I'll find him.
64
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,861
Run, Forrest! Run!
65
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,900
Well, blow me down!
66
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,904
What's everybody doing in me
living room?
67
00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:25,070
Oh, Popeye!
68
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,372
It's the spinach.
69
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:27,999
We think you're addicted.
70
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:30,609
Those forearms are grotesque,
son.
71
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:31,974
It ain't natural.
72
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,410
Me spinach?
73
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,606
Ha-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga!
74
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,546
It's spinach.
75
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,414
Then hand it over.
76
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,417
What?
77
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,985
You're out of your
cotton-picking minds!
78
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:46,253
You can't take me spinach.
79
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,454
Aah!
80
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,294
Popeye, me boy,
fight it!
81
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,355
Fight it, son!
82
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,195
I can't!
83
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,572
So why are you here?
84
00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:03,844
I want to destroy cities and
rid the streets of weaponry.
85
00:04:03,879 --> 00:04:07,678
Yeah, but why
are you really here?
86
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,444
I want to be king of the
monsters.
87
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:11,643
There you go.
88
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,948
Now if you stick with me,
you'll make it.
89
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,387
But you got to unlearn that
bullshit that they teach you
90
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:18,254
on monster island now,
'cause that shit
91
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,883
will get you killed
out here.
92
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,427
I'll do anything you
want me to do.
93
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,460
My lizard.
Now, how's your Japanese?
94
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:25,555
Not that good.
95
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:26,826
Well, you learn that shit then,
brother,
96
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,458
'cause that
shit will get you killed.
97
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:29,763
These mother fuckers out there
98
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:33,204
be planning all types
of shit on you.
99
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,241
Hey, yo, Mazinger,
you got my stuff?
100
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,401
Yo, what you need, 'Zilla?
101
00:04:36,477 --> 00:04:37,307
Check it out.
102
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,366
I got rocket-firing hands.
103
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,878
I got rockets for
your shoulders and legs.
104
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,073
My shit is tight!
105
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,513
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
106
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,483
Well, anyway...
107
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:45,643
what did you do?!
108
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,744
Justifiable homicide in the
line of duty.
109
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,049
No, that was murder.
110
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,487
Open your eyes, son.
111
00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:53,185
That man was your friend, and
you killed him like a fly.
112
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,160
Why is he my friend, huh?
113
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:56,253
Because he knows my name?
114
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,059
Mazinger sold guns and rockets.
115
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,996
The world is a better place
without him, anyway.
116
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,091
Now get your ass in the car.
117
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:01,998
No way, man.
118
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:03,229
I'm getting reassigned.
119
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,327
Well, you do that.
120
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,735
You tell them what I did.
121
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,274
I don't give a damn,
'cause I got news for you.
122
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:13,336
King Kong ain't got
shit on me.
123
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,981
# Do do do
going to work,
124
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,348
# Helping the environment,
saving the economy #
125
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:29,187
Sorry, Council of Evil Tables,
your villainy stops now.
126
00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:32,255
So says the Table Smasher!
127
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:43,034
So we meet again, South African
oak conference table!
128
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:45,942
Rats!
129
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,878
Diplomatic immunity!
130
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:48,812
Oh!
131
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,076
Don't do it,
Table Smasher!
132
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:53,210
You know what this
table took from me!
133
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,549
It ain't worth it.
134
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,081
Like hell it ain't!
135
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:04,187
Oh, lord!
136
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,459
That wobble's never
gonna go away.
137
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,694
Go ahead!
Slap the cuffs on me.
138
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:09,861
I don't care.
139
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,069
I didn't see nothing.
140
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,302
I didn't see nothing at all.
141
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,947
If you give a mouse a cookie,
he'll want a glass of milk.
142
00:06:19,982 --> 00:06:22,449
If you give a mouse some milk,
he'll want some more.
143
00:06:22,484 --> 00:06:24,178
If you give a mouse more milk,
144
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,886
he'll develop a taste
for human blood.
145
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,149
If he develops a taste
for human blood,
146
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,087
he'll become a
vampire.
147
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,921
If he becomes a vampire,
148
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,826
he'll have to make some followers.
149
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:40,663
Now if he makes some followers,
they will need to feed.
150
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,258
If they feed too much,
151
00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:45,032
the national guard
will be called out.
152
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,903
If the national guard is called
out, they, too,
153
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,773
will become fodder
for the vampires.
154
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,744
If the national guard fails,
155
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:56,647
the president will call in a
nuclear strike.
156
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,309
If a nuke is dropped,
157
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:01,047
hundreds of thousands
of people will die.
158
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:04,716
America will become a nuclear
wasteland and collapse!
159
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,851
With no one to keep the rest of
the world's nukes in check,
160
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,364
every crackpot nation will
launch their own!
161
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:15,197
Eventually, the entire earth
will be destroyed.
162
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:18,704
And that's why I had
to kill daddy.
163
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,569
He was giving a mouse a cookie.
164
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,873
Sleep well, sweetie.
165
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,444
I know what you're thinking.
166
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,080
"Did he fire six shots
or only five?"
167
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,883
Well, you got to ask
yourself one question.
168
00:07:29,918 --> 00:07:31,198
"Do I feel lucky?"
169
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,479
Well, do you, punk?
170
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:33,583
You know what?
171
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,451
I do!
172
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:36,454
Hot damn!
173
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,684
This must be my lucky day!
174
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,351
Get back here, punk!
175
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:41,257
I'm gonna... ooh!
176
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,352
Aah!
177
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,727
Stop right there!
178
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:45,628
Stop that guy!
179
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:46,859
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
180
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,924
I'm the luckiest bastard on
the planet!
181
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,060
I can't be stopped.
182
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,798
Just call me Lucky McLuckerton.
183
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,703
# Lucky, lucky, doodle-do #
184
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,264
# I have luck instead of you #
185
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:56,809
There he is.
186
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,640
Don't let him get away!
187
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,145
Get your hands off me!
188
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,048
Really good day,
really good.
189
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,606
Really good being thought of.
190
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:05,982
What the...?
191
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:08,317
Aw, man, there's a leprechaun
on my shoe.
192
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,447
Ha!
Gotcha, punk.
193
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,788
I'm completely buggered.
194
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,451
Please help me.
195
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:17,764
The cow says...
196
00:08:17,799 --> 00:08:18,999
Moo!
197
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:22,763
Your mom says...
198
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,494
...because my cock is in
her mouth.
199
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:26,732
Get it, kid?
200
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,240
My cock in her mouth.
201
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,709
This is Bob Barker
ending my last show,
202
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:34,081
reminding you to help
control the pet population.
203
00:08:34,116 --> 00:08:36,072
Spay or neuter your pets today.
204
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,309
So long, everybody.
205
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,978
Hey, Phil, have you spayed or
neutered your pet today?
206
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,818
Nah, I'll do it tomorrow.
207
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,152
You really should do it
today.
208
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,089
Whatever.
209
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,421
Hmm...
210
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,052
I'd say that's $30 for
the hedge clippers.
211
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,027
Right.
212
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,291
$12.48 for the hair trimmers.
213
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,456
Right.
214
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,500
And $18.29
for the chloroform.
215
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,297
Right again, Bob.
216
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,065
I've never felt so alive!
217
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,768
All those years
of talking about it,
218
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:06,472
and now i'm actually doing
something about it.
219
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,648
No more hair balls for you.
220
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,186
Come on down!
221
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,230
The horses are at the
starting gate.
222
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,822
And they're off.
223
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,300
With the help of flowers and
some Barry White,
224
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,894
we hope Jengo
will finally impregnate Ming Li
225
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,270
and save the species.
226
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,808
Yo, boss, this is crazy.
227
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,777
We got to watch our backs if
we're gonna save our sacs.
228
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:39,743
You got a plan?
229
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,715
The mysterious castrating
vigilante has struck again.
230
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,776
In an unrelated story, the
annual dog show starts today.
231
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:55,655
This dog show's a no-show.
232
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,960
I expect better manners
from my guests, Bob.
233
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,296
You?
I should have known!
234
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,665
That's right.
235
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:07,673
And there's no way you're gonna
shizzle my nizzle.
236
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,608
It's for the good
of the pet population!
237
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,128
You know, Bob,
I have to hand it to you.
238
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,323
What's that?
239
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,695
Your nuts!
240
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:35,360
Aaaahhhhh!
241
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,427
Ha ha ha ha ha!
242
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:41,167
I'm 83 years old, stupid.
243
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,368
I've been shooting
dust for years.
244
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,809
But I wouldn't mind a
replacement set.
245
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,141
Ah! My nuts!
246
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:50,650
You're in deep trouble,
friend... balls deep.
247
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:53,117
Spay or neuter your pets today!
248
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,619
Fuck you,
Bob Bar...
249
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,273
Snoop Dogg,
Robot Chicken.
15616
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