All language subtitles for Robot Chicken - S03E01 - Werewolf vs. Unicorn (1080p x265 EDGE2020)-eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,567 --> 00:00:05,702 Previously on "Robot Chicken y'all...," 2 00:00:05,737 --> 00:00:07,002 Not enough of you have been 3 00:00:07,037 --> 00:00:09,039 calling in to support us getting a third season, 4 00:00:09,074 --> 00:00:10,541 but we're gonna change all that right now. 5 00:00:10,576 --> 00:00:11,633 Matt, give me the... 6 00:00:11,708 --> 00:00:13,369 Oh! You shot the bloopers host! 7 00:00:13,443 --> 00:00:15,775 Seth, listen... they like the violence. 8 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,438 Oh! We can't have a third season 9 00:00:18,515 --> 00:00:20,073 if we don't have any writers! 10 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,515 They love us! 11 00:00:21,585 --> 00:00:22,916 Violence! Bleeding! 12 00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:28,079 Die! 13 00:00:28,892 --> 00:00:29,881 Die! 14 00:00:45,842 --> 00:00:47,742 Ratings are through the roof, bitches. 15 00:00:47,811 --> 00:00:49,005 We're fixing to renew y'all. 16 00:00:49,079 --> 00:00:50,842 That's what the fuck I'm talking about! 17 00:00:50,914 --> 00:00:52,438 But at what cost? 18 00:00:52,516 --> 00:00:53,642 You say something, Keith? 19 00:00:53,717 --> 00:00:54,809 No, I didn't say anything. 20 00:00:54,885 --> 00:00:56,079 Aah! 21 00:00:56,153 --> 00:00:56,983 Gravy corn bread! 22 00:00:57,054 --> 00:00:58,783 Holy fucking ass crackers! 23 00:00:58,855 --> 00:00:59,753 Oh fuck. 24 00:00:59,823 --> 00:01:00,653 Come on, come on! 25 00:01:00,724 --> 00:01:01,782 Come on! 26 00:01:01,858 --> 00:01:04,122 Aaaaah! 27 00:01:05,362 --> 00:01:06,624 Dang it, what do we do now? 28 00:01:06,697 --> 00:01:07,561 I've got an idea. 29 00:01:07,631 --> 00:01:08,655 Aah! You rattlesnake! 30 00:01:08,732 --> 00:01:10,927 Aah! Ohh! 31 00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:12,059 Yes! 32 00:01:15,072 --> 00:01:16,471 N-o-o-o-o! 33 00:01:22,312 --> 00:01:23,643 N-o-o-o-o! 34 00:01:28,552 --> 00:01:29,519 Oh, wait a second. 35 00:01:29,586 --> 00:01:31,383 Oh, it's just mom. 36 00:01:42,065 --> 00:01:44,727 No! 37 00:01:46,169 --> 00:01:47,727 L-L-Look at the new contract! 38 00:01:47,804 --> 00:01:49,066 We get health benefits! 39 00:01:49,139 --> 00:01:51,972 Oh, no, god, please don't eat my brains. 40 00:01:55,946 --> 00:01:57,277 It smells like wet garbage in here. 41 00:01:57,347 --> 00:01:58,871 Yo, what do you guys want for lunch today? 42 00:01:58,949 --> 00:02:00,280 Brains! 43 00:02:00,350 --> 00:02:01,510 Subway! 44 00:02:01,585 --> 00:02:02,517 Brains it is. 45 00:02:02,586 --> 00:02:04,144 Oh, I hate brains. 46 00:02:04,855 --> 00:02:06,855 Welcome to Fantasy Island. 47 00:02:06,890 --> 00:02:10,260 Where all your fantasies will come true! 48 00:02:10,295 --> 00:02:11,318 Then why are you a midget? 49 00:02:12,429 --> 00:02:14,047 Flash Gordon! 50 00:02:14,082 --> 00:02:15,631 The Phantom! 51 00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:17,165 Mandrake the Magician! 52 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,903 These three heroes, united by a quest for justice 53 00:02:19,938 --> 00:02:20,892 and the coincidence that they're all 54 00:02:20,937 --> 00:02:22,063 owned by King Features syndicate, 55 00:02:22,139 --> 00:02:25,870 now defend the Earth as the defenders of the Earth! 56 00:02:25,942 --> 00:02:27,933 Earth! 57 00:02:32,315 --> 00:02:33,543 Wham! Ha ha! 58 00:02:33,617 --> 00:02:35,209 Take that! 59 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,344 Ow! Ow! Ow! 60 00:02:37,421 --> 00:02:40,549 Watch me pull some kick-ass out of my hat! 61 00:02:40,624 --> 00:02:42,854 Now you see me, now you don't! 62 00:02:42,926 --> 00:02:45,895 Aah! I actually live on this block! 63 00:02:45,962 --> 00:02:47,896 All: Defenders of the Earth! 64 00:02:47,964 --> 00:02:49,556 Help! Defenders of the Earth, 65 00:02:49,633 --> 00:02:51,999 a killer asteroid's about to wipe us out! 66 00:02:53,503 --> 00:02:54,697 Uh... 67 00:02:54,771 --> 00:02:56,568 we're just the neighborhood-watch association. 68 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,733 The most bad-ass neighborhood-watch association 69 00:02:58,809 --> 00:02:59,673 on the east side. 70 00:02:59,743 --> 00:03:00,675 Boo-yah! 71 00:03:00,744 --> 00:03:03,076 That whole Earth/asteroid thing? 72 00:03:03,146 --> 00:03:04,408 Not really our bag. 73 00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:05,413 But look! 74 00:03:05,482 --> 00:03:07,677 There's a quarter in your ear! 75 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:10,853 But you're the defenders of the Earth. 76 00:03:10,921 --> 00:03:11,910 Well, part of the Earth... 77 00:03:11,988 --> 00:03:13,455 if you live on Brenner Drive 78 00:03:13,523 --> 00:03:15,684 between Wells Avenue and Route 9W. 79 00:03:15,759 --> 00:03:16,987 To the cul-de-sac! 80 00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:18,857 All: Defenders of the Earth! 81 00:03:18,929 --> 00:03:21,591 But... but... the... Earth... 82 00:03:28,205 --> 00:03:29,206 # Shout on # 83 00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:30,224 Damn light! 84 00:03:30,259 --> 00:03:31,173 # Shout off # 85 00:03:31,208 --> 00:03:32,209 Fucking television! 86 00:03:32,244 --> 00:03:33,175 # The shouter # 87 00:03:33,210 --> 00:03:35,041 Let's you turn anything on and off from anywhere 88 00:03:35,112 --> 00:03:37,376 in the room with a high-volume vocalization. 89 00:03:37,447 --> 00:03:38,778 Bullshit weather! 90 00:03:38,849 --> 00:03:40,874 Just plug it in to control the lights, tv... 91 00:03:40,951 --> 00:03:41,940 almost anything. 92 00:03:42,018 --> 00:03:42,882 # Shout on # 93 00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:44,011 Ah, fucking Christmas! 94 00:03:44,087 --> 00:03:45,019 # Shout off # 95 00:03:45,088 --> 00:03:46,055 Kill myself! 96 00:03:46,123 --> 00:03:47,818 # Shout on, shout off # 97 00:03:47,891 --> 00:03:50,052 My kids left me alone to die! 98 00:03:50,127 --> 00:03:51,116 # The shouter # 99 00:03:51,194 --> 00:03:52,024 Whew! 100 00:03:52,095 --> 00:03:54,230 It'll be nice to have this ultimate death ray finished. 101 00:03:54,265 --> 00:03:56,366 Let's just hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. 102 00:03:56,401 --> 00:03:57,567 Good point. Want to hit Quizno's? 103 00:03:57,602 --> 00:03:58,579 Word. 104 00:03:58,614 --> 00:03:59,557 Awesome. 105 00:04:01,271 --> 00:04:04,536 Megatron, the Ultimate Death Ray is almost complete. 106 00:04:04,608 --> 00:04:06,872 Excellent, Soundwave. 107 00:04:06,943 --> 00:04:11,642 Now monitor their progress by hiding in plain sight! 108 00:04:11,715 --> 00:04:14,741 Understood. 109 00:04:14,818 --> 00:04:16,012 Just let me grab my wallet. 110 00:04:16,086 --> 00:04:17,348 Oh, you'd forget your testicles 111 00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:19,047 if they weren't tethered by the Vas Deferens 112 00:04:19,122 --> 00:04:20,316 to your seminal vesicle. 113 00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:22,121 Hey, look at this thing. 114 00:04:22,192 --> 00:04:23,591 Who's got a boom box anymore? 115 00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:25,059 Hey, look at me! 116 00:04:25,128 --> 00:04:26,322 I'm LL Cool J, huh? 117 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:27,328 Electric boogaloo! 118 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:28,364 Chika-chika tam bam! 119 00:04:28,431 --> 00:04:29,625 Oh, what's that? 120 00:04:29,699 --> 00:04:32,065 Oh, my freakin' God, it's a mix tape! 121 00:04:32,135 --> 00:04:33,227 Lame! Wow! 122 00:04:33,303 --> 00:04:34,531 Hey, what'd you do this summer? 123 00:04:34,604 --> 00:04:36,469 I totally cried my eyes out, and then I masturbated. 124 00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:37,939 My God! 125 00:04:38,008 --> 00:04:40,169 Can you believe this actually used to be a viable format? 126 00:04:40,243 --> 00:04:41,676 Look at me... streamers! 127 00:04:41,745 --> 00:04:42,575 I'm a clown! 128 00:04:42,646 --> 00:04:43,476 Happy birthday! 129 00:04:43,547 --> 00:04:44,479 Rumble! 130 00:04:44,548 --> 00:04:45,742 You're killing Rumble! 131 00:04:45,816 --> 00:04:48,307 If by "rumble" you mean "your weak-ass mix tape 132 00:04:48,385 --> 00:04:50,785 of pussy pussness," then I guess we are. 133 00:04:50,854 --> 00:04:53,345 Rumble, transform! 134 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,118 Transform! 135 00:04:55,192 --> 00:04:57,422 Oh, n-o-o-o-o-o! 136 00:04:57,494 --> 00:05:00,190 Hey, this thing runs on "D" batteries. 137 00:05:00,263 --> 00:05:02,788 Just like your wife's vibrator. 138 00:05:02,866 --> 00:05:05,596 Soundwave hasn't reported back in days. 139 00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:07,102 Where can he be? 140 00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:10,162 Megatron, I think I found him. 141 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,172 Ebay? 142 00:05:11,241 --> 00:05:14,039 Request permission to buy it now. 143 00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:22,578 And good day to you. 144 00:05:22,652 --> 00:05:23,914 Breaking news from space. 145 00:05:23,987 --> 00:05:25,420 As the new ride at Las Vegas' 146 00:05:25,488 --> 00:05:26,785 "Star Trek: Experience"... 147 00:05:26,857 --> 00:05:27,824 What's up, Dickstain? 148 00:05:27,891 --> 00:05:29,153 Get out of here, Munson! 149 00:05:29,226 --> 00:05:30,124 I'm doing my show! 150 00:05:30,193 --> 00:05:31,023 Oh, yeah! 151 00:05:31,094 --> 00:05:32,186 What's it called again... 152 00:05:32,262 --> 00:05:34,423 "Gay news for homos about penis who loves dick 153 00:05:34,497 --> 00:05:36,431 and are afraid of vagina and grew up 154 00:05:36,499 --> 00:05:38,694 in west vagina and are kind of afraid of it 155 00:05:38,768 --> 00:05:40,497 and also grew up in "penis-braska"? 156 00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:42,868 No, it's called the "gyro-robo news... " 157 00:05:42,939 --> 00:05:45,430 # Two scoops of penis are the reason you're a superfag # 158 00:05:45,508 --> 00:05:46,338 Stop it! 159 00:05:46,409 --> 00:05:47,341 Oh ho! 160 00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:48,968 Now, tell the nice viewers 161 00:05:49,045 --> 00:05:51,946 how much you love the smell of your own farts! 162 00:05:52,015 --> 00:05:52,845 Say it! 163 00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:54,008 Oh, it gets tighter! 164 00:05:54,084 --> 00:05:55,016 Say it! 165 00:05:55,085 --> 00:05:56,017 Okay, okay! 166 00:05:56,086 --> 00:05:57,713 I love the smell of my own farts! 167 00:05:58,989 --> 00:06:00,286 I love farts! 168 00:06:00,357 --> 00:06:01,688 Ha ha! Loser! 169 00:06:01,758 --> 00:06:03,385 You got Munsoned! 170 00:06:04,728 --> 00:06:06,320 I'm your real dad! 171 00:06:09,099 --> 00:06:10,066 And in other news... 172 00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:11,065 Daniel, sweety... 173 00:06:11,134 --> 00:06:12,692 Mom, I am doing my show! 174 00:06:12,769 --> 00:06:15,567 Oh, well, it might be time for a commercial break. 175 00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:16,697 No, it is not! 176 00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:19,401 I made Snickerdoodles. 177 00:06:19,476 --> 00:06:21,171 We'll be right back after these messages. 178 00:06:21,978 --> 00:06:23,680 Alpha Psi Bodega?! 179 00:06:23,715 --> 00:06:24,779 Nuh-unh! 180 00:06:24,814 --> 00:06:26,349 Both: Alpha Psi! Do or die! 181 00:06:26,384 --> 00:06:27,701 Gung ho! Gung ho! 182 00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:28,984 Unh! Hunh! Unh! Hunh! 183 00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:30,646 Unh! Hunh! Unh! Hunh! Unh! 184 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,620 Ow! Ow! Ow! 185 00:06:32,689 --> 00:06:35,988 So, uh... You like basketball? 186 00:06:36,126 --> 00:06:37,359 And now, Adam, 187 00:06:37,394 --> 00:06:40,263 it is unto ye to name all the animals of the Earth. 188 00:06:40,298 --> 00:06:41,363 I'm on it. 189 00:06:41,398 --> 00:06:43,400 I'm gonna call you a horse. 190 00:06:43,435 --> 00:06:45,061 And you'll be a bear. 191 00:06:45,101 --> 00:06:46,534 Hey, Adam! 192 00:06:46,603 --> 00:06:48,002 Oh, hey, Steve. 193 00:06:48,071 --> 00:06:49,504 What are you doing? 194 00:06:49,572 --> 00:06:50,732 I walked into a situation, don't know what's going on, 195 00:06:50,807 --> 00:06:52,104 but I want to be part of it! 196 00:06:52,175 --> 00:06:53,267 Eh, nothing. 197 00:06:53,343 --> 00:06:55,538 Just naming all the beasts of the Earth. 198 00:06:55,612 --> 00:06:57,546 Ooh! Let's call that one a peacock! 199 00:06:57,614 --> 00:06:58,672 Steve, Steve... 200 00:06:58,748 --> 00:07:00,648 And that'll be a swallow! 201 00:07:00,717 --> 00:07:02,275 Steve, please, don't... 202 00:07:02,352 --> 00:07:04,013 And that's the ramburglar! 203 00:07:05,322 --> 00:07:07,424 # Be a winner at the game of life # 204 00:07:08,959 --> 00:07:10,927 A letter from the admissions office? 205 00:07:10,962 --> 00:07:12,827 My life starts now! 206 00:07:14,431 --> 00:07:15,261 Rejected? 207 00:07:15,332 --> 00:07:16,458 Fiddlesticks! 208 00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:19,024 # Disappointment in the game of life # 209 00:07:19,102 --> 00:07:20,194 That's the last tray 210 00:07:20,270 --> 00:07:22,602 of imitation meat patties you'll ruin! 211 00:07:22,672 --> 00:07:23,934 You're fired! 212 00:07:24,007 --> 00:07:26,407 Isn't there anything I could do to save my job? 213 00:07:28,311 --> 00:07:30,506 Yes. There is. 214 00:07:32,949 --> 00:07:35,144 Oh, I really... need... 215 00:07:35,218 --> 00:07:36,378 this... job! 216 00:07:36,453 --> 00:07:37,385 Work it off! 217 00:07:37,454 --> 00:07:38,648 You're keeping your job! 218 00:07:38,722 --> 00:07:41,486 # Sex for favors in the game of life # 219 00:07:41,558 --> 00:07:43,788 God, please... Please... 220 00:07:45,662 --> 00:07:46,492 No! 221 00:07:46,563 --> 00:07:48,190 Oh, God, why?! 222 00:07:48,264 --> 00:07:50,459 # Broken condoms in the game of life # 223 00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:52,327 Come on, honey. 224 00:07:52,402 --> 00:07:54,199 One last big push. 225 00:07:54,270 --> 00:07:55,567 Aa-a-a-a-h! 226 00:07:58,208 --> 00:07:59,800 Oh, shoot! 227 00:07:59,876 --> 00:08:02,743 # Start a family in the game of life # 228 00:08:02,812 --> 00:08:05,076 God, another interview you've blown? 229 00:08:05,148 --> 00:08:07,275 We can't all live on beer, you know? 230 00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:12,754 You're gonna shut... your... big... mouth... once... and... 231 00:08:12,822 --> 00:08:14,881 for... all... stupid... bitch! 232 00:08:14,958 --> 00:08:16,289 I'm sorry! 233 00:08:19,929 --> 00:08:22,329 # Kill your husband in the game of life # 234 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,497 Fucking spinner. 235 00:08:27,437 --> 00:08:30,106 Shh! Shh! 236 00:08:35,712 --> 00:08:37,213 And now a message from your Governor. 237 00:08:37,248 --> 00:08:38,480 Good evening. 238 00:08:38,515 --> 00:08:41,651 As you know, I have dealt with many aliens in the past, 239 00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:45,587 but now you criticize me about the Mexico alien. 240 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:48,783 Here, I show you how the great state of California 241 00:08:48,858 --> 00:08:51,258 has dealt with the Mexico border issue. 242 00:08:51,327 --> 00:08:54,091 Here we have the high-tech border fence 243 00:08:54,164 --> 00:08:56,257 with the highly trained border guard, 244 00:08:56,332 --> 00:08:57,856 who will explain further. 245 00:08:57,934 --> 00:09:01,392 People runnin' across the border was a problem, 246 00:09:01,471 --> 00:09:04,133 but these new systems are impregnable. 247 00:09:04,207 --> 00:09:05,401 Eypa, eypa! Landale, andale! 248 00:09:05,475 --> 00:09:06,305 Larriba, arriba! 249 00:09:06,376 --> 00:09:07,206 Ee-yah! 250 00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:09,142 S- s-son of a bitch. 251 00:09:09,212 --> 00:09:13,171 Cracking down on the crimes will discourage the immigrants 252 00:09:13,249 --> 00:09:14,739 from coming here illegally. 253 00:09:14,818 --> 00:09:15,648 That's him! 254 00:09:15,718 --> 00:09:16,707 He drew a "Z" on my wall. 255 00:09:16,786 --> 00:09:18,879 Yes, right after I broke up a robbery! 256 00:09:18,955 --> 00:09:20,422 I'm a fucking hero! 257 00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:21,821 Aah! Chingo tu madre! 258 00:09:21,891 --> 00:09:24,689 We must stop the hiring of the illegal aliens. 259 00:09:24,761 --> 00:09:26,786 I asked for this water an hour ago! 260 00:09:26,863 --> 00:09:28,194 You are too slow! 261 00:09:28,264 --> 00:09:29,526 Slow? 262 00:09:29,599 --> 00:09:32,659 But mi nombre es Slowpoke Rodriguez. 263 00:09:32,735 --> 00:09:36,171 You, the security people, take the mouse and deport him! 264 00:09:36,239 --> 00:09:37,729 No, señor! 265 00:09:37,807 --> 00:09:40,105 They'll execute me in mi country. 266 00:09:40,176 --> 00:09:41,609 You are killing me! 267 00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:45,371 You are killing me! 268 00:09:45,448 --> 00:09:47,473 But we are also compassionate 269 00:09:47,550 --> 00:09:50,110 for the children found at the border. 270 00:09:50,186 --> 00:09:52,484 We found this little girl wandering around 271 00:09:52,555 --> 00:09:54,022 with no parental supervision. 272 00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:56,081 Soy un explorer! 273 00:09:56,159 --> 00:10:01,392 Estoy en una adventura magnífico con mi amigo boots! 274 00:10:01,464 --> 00:10:03,364 Which we dealt with per CDC regulations. 275 00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:07,698 And here is the latest hero to fight the illegal border crime 276 00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:09,465 Superman! 277 00:10:09,539 --> 00:10:10,563 Thank you, Governor. 278 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,073 We super friends had no idea 279 00:10:12,142 --> 00:10:15,270 that El Dorado was an illegal when we let him join our ranks. 280 00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:17,313 I'm on my way to deport him right now. 281 00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:20,543 Yeah, yeah, good job with that Superman thing going on there. 282 00:10:20,617 --> 00:10:25,418 And how did you come to this great country yourself? 283 00:10:26,389 --> 00:10:27,321 Gott in himmel! 284 00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:28,448 Sir, if you have a moment, 285 00:10:28,525 --> 00:10:32,689 I wanted to talk about how you got into this country. 286 00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:33,820 Up, up, and away! 287 00:10:35,298 --> 00:10:37,533 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # 288 00:10:37,568 --> 00:10:39,769 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk # 289 00:10:39,804 --> 00:10:41,769 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # 290 00:10:41,804 --> 00:10:43,734 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # 291 00:10:43,806 --> 00:10:46,206 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # 292 00:10:46,276 --> 00:10:48,335 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # 293 00:10:48,411 --> 00:10:50,572 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # 294 00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:52,740 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # 295 00:10:52,815 --> 00:10:54,976 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # 296 00:10:55,051 --> 00:10:56,985 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # 297 00:10:57,053 --> 00:10:59,214 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # 298 00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:01,223 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # 299 00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:03,452 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # 300 00:11:03,526 --> 00:11:05,517 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # 301 00:11:05,595 --> 00:11:07,756 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # 302 00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:09,661 # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk Bawk bawk # 303 00:11:09,732 --> 00:11:11,723 Ba-gawk! Bawk. 20220

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