All language subtitles for Robot Chicken - S00E15 - The Robot Chicken Lots of Holidays but Don’t Worry Christmas is Still in There Too so Pull the Stick out of Your Ass Fox News Special (1080p x265 EDGE2020).eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:04,871 And now back to "The legend of the guardians: 2 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,606 The owls of ga'hoole" Christmas special. 3 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,108 Who? Who? 4 00:00:08,173 --> 00:00:11,878 [ wings flapping ] Who is watching this program? 5 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:14,347 [ sighs ] Man, christmas gets all the 6 00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,648 Animated specials. 7 00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:19,152 I wish someone would do one for The ot holidays. 8 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,121 That would be so cool. 9 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:25,291 [ inhales, yawns ] So...Cool. 10 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,995 [ warble! ] [ groans ] 11 00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:30,096 Huh?! 12 00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:30,997 Aaaaah! 13 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:32,598 Aah! Aah! 14 00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:34,701 He's a maniac! Help! 15 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:35,635 Both: huh? 16 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,837 Oh! What?! 17 00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,639 [ panting, crying ] Whoops! 18 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,840 Unh! 19 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:42,776 What? 20 00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:45,044 Oh, boy. 21 00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:46,813 [ funky, mid-tempo music plays ] 22 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:53,019 Ow! Your feet! Yeeow! 23 00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:54,020 Ow! 24 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,324 Ow! Ow! Oh, my god! 25 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:08,134 [ sneezes ] Uh -- hey! Ow! Yeow! Yeow! 26 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,170 Uh, that's okay. No, thank you. 27 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,237 No, no, no. 28 00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,142 [ chatters ] What the fuck 29 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,310 Unh! Unh! 30 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:18,478 Oh, yeah! 31 00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,213 I think I love you. 32 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:30,957 Here goes. 33 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:33,493 My new year's resolution is to Quit drinking! 34 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,426 3...2...1... 35 00:01:34,494 --> 00:01:35,360 Happy new year! 36 00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:36,729 All: yay! 37 00:01:36,795 --> 00:01:39,199 [ twinkle! ] Whoa! You're baby new year! 38 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:42,101 Did you come here to help me Ring in 2015? 39 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,136 No, jim. 40 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,438 I came to talk to you about the Promise you made. 41 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,006 Remember -- to give up drinking? 42 00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:49,676 But I made that resolution 10 Seconds ago. 43 00:01:49,741 --> 00:01:50,777 It's binding. 44 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,312 Hyah! 45 00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:55,949 [ screaming ] ♪ baby new year, 46 00:01:56,015 --> 00:02:00,620 Resolution enforcer ♪ The chipmunks' christmas 47 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,089 Album went double-mahogany on The charts. 48 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:06,292 So we decided to release a Holiday album for the other 49 00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:07,026 Holidays. 50 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,360 ♪ theodore Take a listen. 51 00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:17,036 [ mid-tempo music plays ] All: ♪ st. Patrick's day is 52 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:20,907 Finally here ♪ ♪ time to drink our weight 53 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:25,411 In beer ♪ ♪ sipping green ale from a can 54 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:30,149 ♪ I think I blew a homeless Man ♪ 55 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:33,418 And what's sure to be a Halloween classic. 56 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,623 All: ♪ hello, people, Trick or treat ♪ 57 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:40,360 ♪ I hope you give us Something sweet ♪ 58 00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:43,596 ♪ give us candy, That's the plan ♪ 59 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:47,567 ♪ I think I blew a homeless Man ♪ 60 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:50,303 Uh, theodore, I think you're Repeating the lyric from 61 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,271 St. Patrick's day. 62 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,138 Nope. 63 00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:54,340 I blew a homeless man on Halloween also. 64 00:02:54,406 --> 00:02:55,742 I was high on candy. 65 00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:58,144 Okay! Well, there's -- And pcp. 66 00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:01,881 There's also a great song For thanksgiving! 67 00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:05,318 All: ♪ hooray, it's finally Turkey day ♪ 68 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,888 ♪ we'll drink and laugh Our cares away ♪ 69 00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:12,425 ♪ eat pies of pumpkin And pecan ♪ 70 00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:15,862 I probably didn't blow a Homeless man...? 71 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,798 Theodore, this is a safe Place. 72 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:24,737 ♪ okay, I definitely blew A homeless man ♪ 73 00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:27,173 [ bells jingle ] ♪ he sees you 74 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,610 When you're healthy ♪ ♪ he knows when you feel sick 75 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,346 [ coughs ] ♪ he knows if you've been 76 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,815 Naughty or nice ♪ ♪ that's right, santa can't be 77 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,685 Tricked ♪ All right, let's go over my 78 00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:40,620 Naughty-and-nice list for this Year. 79 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,590 Well, billy marchetti in Rochester stole a candy bar. 80 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:46,559 Looks like someone is now on My naughty list. 81 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:49,329 But he did it because his Family's on welfare and his mom 82 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,930 Traded all the food stamps for Heroin. 83 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:52,599 Oh. 84 00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:53,700 Um... 85 00:03:53,766 --> 00:03:55,101 Hmm. 86 00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:56,202 That's a tough one. 87 00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,738 ♪ he watches when You're home ♪ 88 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:03,176 ♪ he knows when you're away ♪ he's also starting to 89 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:07,847 Realize ♪ ♪ that life is morally gray 90 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,717 Regina from nome, alaska, got An "A" on her math quiz. 91 00:04:10,783 --> 00:04:13,553 Well, that's cut-and-dried -- A gift for regina. 92 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,688 But only because she cheated. 93 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,255 Okay, coal for regina. 94 00:04:17,322 --> 00:04:19,024 Bu-u-u-u-u-u-t... 95 00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:21,827 She only cheated on the test Because she can't read the 96 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:24,263 Blackboard due to the fact she's Dyslexic. 97 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:25,264 Aghhh! 98 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,900 ♪ he's having an Existential crisis ♪ 99 00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:30,303 ♪ that smug look's wiped off Of his face ♪ 100 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,838 Guys. Guys, stop. 101 00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:32,805 Stop singing. 102 00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,040 All right? Just -- just stop. 103 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,843 I have a lot of things to think About. 104 00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:38,811 [ wind whistling ] Help yourself to some 105 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:45,551 Cookies, sherry. 106 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,953 I made them for the whole Office. 107 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,655 I told myself I wouldn't. 108 00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,324 But hey, yolo. 109 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,457 Unh! 110 00:04:54,227 --> 00:05:01,234 ♪ baby new year, Resolution enforcer ♪ 111 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:05,738 Mother, are you watching over Me, like simba's dad did for 112 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,006 Him? 113 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,541 [ echoing ] Here I am, bambi. 114 00:05:08,608 --> 00:05:10,076 Oh, wow! Mom! 115 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,812 D-do you have any sage advice For me? 116 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,213 Yes, my son. 117 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,383 The rampant deer population is A real problem. 118 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,951 You have to kill yourself. 119 00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:21,988 I-I thought you were gonna Tell me, like, I was the one 120 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,456 True king or something. 121 00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:25,825 No. You're a deer. 122 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,827 Deer are meaningless! 123 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:28,861 Meaningless... 124 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:30,396 Meaningless. 125 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,532 Oh, I wish I had known her, Father. 126 00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,567 Yes, she was quite wonderful. 127 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,402 Tell me -- what was she like? 128 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:37,537 Unh! Unh! Unh! Yeah! 129 00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:40,606 [ dolphin squeals ] Oh, she was enthusiastic, the 130 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,608 Most beautiful one in her pod. 131 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,310 Oh, that's -- Wait -- pod? What pod? 132 00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:46,379 [ yiddish accent ] Nemo, put On your yarmulke for your 133 00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:47,046 Mother. 134 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,214 I don't want to! We're fish! 135 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,048 This is stupid! 136 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:50,316 Put on your yarmulke, nemo! 137 00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:52,151 I'm tired of your shit! 138 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,587 Sh'ma. Fishrael fish adonai... 139 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:57,690 Happy mother's day from all Of us in the disney family 140 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,192 Who've lost our mothers. 141 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:00,793 Mickey, do you miss your Mama, too? 142 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:01,661 Ha! No! 143 00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:03,896 She ate all my brothers and Sisters. 144 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:05,832 Mice are monsters. 145 00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:06,999 [ lisping ] Oh, no. 146 00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:11,270 It's valentine's day, and I have Too many dates. 147 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,406 Happy hanukkah, joshua. 148 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:14,240 Here. 149 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:17,877 I got you lots of hanukkah gelt. 150 00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:21,047 [ hip-hop music plays ] [ rapping ] ♪ I got so much 151 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,549 Hanukkah gelt ♪ ♪ yo, this musta been 152 00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:26,385 How rockefeller felt ♪ ♪ chocolate money, 153 00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:28,688 It ain't even funny ♪ ♪ keep my wallet in the freezer 154 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:31,224 So that shit don't melt ♪ ♪ I walk into the club, 155 00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:33,693 And I make it rain ♪ ♪ and now your booty all covered 156 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,596 In a chocolate stain ♪ ♪ gelt in my socks, 157 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,831 Gelt in the banks ♪ ♪ I give gelt to my homies, 158 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:39,999 And they say... ♪ Together: thanks! 159 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,135 ♪ I give gelt to the germans, And they say... ♪ 160 00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:43,069 Together: danke! 161 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,438 ♪ I got more chocolate than Willy wonka ♪ 162 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,507 ♪ so much gelt, it'll make you Sick ♪ 163 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,176 ♪ I got more hot cocoa Than ice-t's dick ♪ 164 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,445 ♪ so much chocolate, make ya pop Ya belt ♪ 165 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:54,180 ♪ ya understand me, Mother fucker ♪ 166 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,582 ♪ I got so much gelt [ gasps ] Hey! 167 00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:58,317 This money's made of chocolate. 168 00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,819 You owe us 3 grand. 169 00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,121 Oy gevalt! 170 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,323 Happy memorial day, my Smurfs! 171 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,860 This is the day on which we Honor all the fallen smurfs 172 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,595 Of smurfs past. 173 00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:10,696 Myspace smurf. 174 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:12,698 [ bell tolls ] Payphone smurf. 175 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,635 [ bell tolls ] Ohhh, "Talk to the hand" smurf. 176 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:18,471 [ bell tolls ] Michael dukakis smurf. 177 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:21,240 [ bell tolls ] I'm sensing a trend here. 178 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:23,876 All of these smurfs were kind Of outdated. 179 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:28,047 Yes, it is a sad thing when a Smurf outlives his usefulness. 180 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,148 I mean, dies. 181 00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,617 Well, did these smurfs die of Natural causes? 182 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,786 Well, let me think. 183 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,189 [ twinkle! ] Hmm. 184 00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:37,723 Doesn't look busy enough. 185 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,092 [ gunshot ] [ gunshot ] 186 00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:43,830 Ew! Talk to the han-- [ gunshot ] 187 00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:47,066 [ gunshot ] Yep -- natural causes. 188 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,668 You sure about that? 189 00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:50,636 [ dramatic music plays ] Handy smurf -- tonight. 190 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,142 He knows too much. 191 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,077 Mrrow. 192 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,713 [ sighs ] I swore I'd stop spanking it, 193 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:03,349 But I just can't say no to you, Marjory. 194 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,951 Unh! Unh! Unh! 195 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,886 Broke your resolution, eh? 196 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:10,223 [ choking ] This makes it so much better! 197 00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:11,791 I'm gonna sit this one out. 198 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:15,928 ♪ baby new year, Resolution enforcer ♪ 199 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,431 I love spending these nights Together, baby. 200 00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:21,367 Just me, you, and the desolation Of nature. 201 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,002 I love you, st. Nick. 202 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:27,006 [ rumbling ] What the fuck 203 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,474 Santa! Mrs. Claus! 204 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:29,942 It is a true honor to meet you. 205 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,644 I -- Hey, thanks for blocking our 206 00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:32,645 View, dumbass! 207 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:33,813 Oh. Sorry. 208 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,648 I didn't know your place was Here when I threw the crystal. 209 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:38,183 Good thing I didn't hook it, or Your house would be in my living 210 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,018 Room. 211 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,620 [ laughs ] There's a million fucking 212 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,655 Miles of ice up here, and you Pick 20 feet from our house for 213 00:08:43,722 --> 00:08:44,222 This... 214 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,424 Fortress of solitude. 215 00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:48,294 You built your fortress of Solitude next to the only other 216 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,762 House in the entire arctic?! 217 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,497 It'll be nice to have a Neighbor. 218 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:52,665 Would you like some tea? 219 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,766 Another time, ma'am. 220 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:54,400 Duty calls. 221 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:55,534 Up, up, and away! 222 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:56,602 Douche. 223 00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:59,005 Blitzen, have you been chewing On my boots again? 224 00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,506 Oh, god! 225 00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,975 [ sighs ] Son of a bitch. 226 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,143 I had a fun thought. 227 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,945 Why don't you wear a cape Tonight? 228 00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:06,479 What? 229 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,648 With an "S" on it. 230 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,016 You know -- for "Santa." 231 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:13,119 [ growls ] Hello? Homeowners association? 232 00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:16,222 Superman's place is so close To mine, I can smell it when he 233 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,023 Takes a crap. 234 00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:18,457 Oh. Fine. Whatever. 235 00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:20,660 All right, see if superman Brings your kid that new 236 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,261 Wheelchair this christmas. 237 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,798 The h.O.A. Won't kick him out Unless I find just cause, huh? 238 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:27,099 Hmm. 239 00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:32,638 What kind of weirdo builds an Entire miniature city in a 240 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:33,205 Bottle? 241 00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:34,674 Ow! Tiny people! 242 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,309 We've got tiny superpeople here! 243 00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,176 What the hell?! 244 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,779 Aaaaargh! 245 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,681 Ahhh! 246 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,849 [ techno music plays in Distance ] 247 00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:45,318 [ groans ] That's it! 248 00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:48,821 [ slurred ] Who the fuck Are you? 249 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,256 Who the fuck are you? 250 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,924 This party is too goddamn loud! 251 00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,326 Where's superman? 252 00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:54,927 What the...? 253 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:55,761 Rudolph? 254 00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:56,562 Huh? 255 00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:59,598 Naw, man. I'm d.J. Venison. 256 00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,533 Betrayal! 257 00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:01,567 Hey, everyone. 258 00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,970 [ music stops ] Grandpa says we're being too 259 00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:05,571 Loud. 260 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,273 [ angry murmuring ] What?! 261 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,508 Which one of you buttholes is Shooting arrows?! 262 00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:10,843 Yaaaaah! 263 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:11,944 Hello, neighbor! 264 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:13,980 Suck on this ruling, Tinker bell! 265 00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,448 The h.O.A. Says you're out! 266 00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,283 Well, the rules are the Rules. 267 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,451 Guess I should start packing. 268 00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:19,785 [ laughs ] Yeah. You do that. 269 00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,253 Don't forget to write. 270 00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:25,925 Oh, it's gonna be a good day, Martha. 271 00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:29,729 No more superm-- What the -- 272 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:32,498 Superma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n! 273 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,600 I'm sure santa's out there Somewhere, martha. 274 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,869 I'll look some more -- Tomorrow. 275 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:37,837 Morning. 276 00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:38,738 Mm! 277 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:39,705 Ohhh! 278 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:42,108 [ warble! ] Ehhhhh?! 279 00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:43,042 Oh, boy. 280 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:43,676 Shh. 281 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:45,378 Don't speak. 282 00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:46,946 Mnnnnnnnnnnh! 283 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,281 [ funky, mid-tempo music plays ] 284 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:06,999 [ dramatic music plays ] Oh! 285 00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,601 [ gasps ] Friend of yours? 286 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:11,003 [ gasps ] Ohh! 19699

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