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1
00:00:04,548 --> 00:00:06,007
[horse whinnies]
2
00:00:26,278 --> 00:00:27,571
Stand and deliver.
3
00:00:27,571 --> 00:00:29,948
Your money or your... Geoffrey.
4
00:00:29,948 --> 00:00:30,991
[chuckles] Wow.
5
00:00:30,991 --> 00:00:33,118
[groans] Actually,
today doesn't really work for me.
6
00:00:33,118 --> 00:00:34,786
- [cracks]
- I've done my back in,
7
00:00:34,786 --> 00:00:36,121
so I can't really stand.
8
00:00:36,121 --> 00:00:38,164
What about "crouch and deliver"?
Has anyone ever done that?
9
00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:39,291
Nell, could he crouch and deliver?
10
00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:42,752
Crouch, squat... [scoffs]
...jump up and down, I don't care.
11
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:45,964
- Just open the cart.
- No, no. I wouldn't rob this if I was you.
12
00:00:45,964 --> 00:00:48,717
I'm actually transporting the Reddlehag.
13
00:00:50,135 --> 00:00:51,928
The Reddlehag? Who's that?
14
00:00:51,928 --> 00:00:56,933
Well, she's basically an evil witch
who sucks men's souls and women's.
15
00:00:56,933 --> 00:00:58,810
Yeah, 'cause, you know,
she's not that fussy. [sniffs]
16
00:00:58,810 --> 00:01:00,812
Come on, Geoffrey. Witches don't exist.
17
00:01:00,812 --> 00:01:03,273
They're just a mixture of
superstition, misogyny
18
00:01:03,273 --> 00:01:05,065
and a fear of what we don't understand.
19
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,193
No, no. She's genuinely a witch.
20
00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:08,987
Or a trend-bucking freethinker like me.
21
00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:10,655
- [chuckles]
- No, no. She's a witch.
22
00:01:10,655 --> 00:01:13,033
Uh, boss, quick sidebar.
23
00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:16,453
Now, you know I support you 1000%,
24
00:01:16,453 --> 00:01:20,498
but witches are my all-time biggest fear.
25
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:23,293
Me too. Because when I was 12,
I got cursed by a witch.
26
00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:24,794
- My voice went deep.
- [gasps]
27
00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:28,048
I got taller.
Hair started happening everywhere.
28
00:01:28,048 --> 00:01:29,799
Okay, here's a kind of radical idea.
29
00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:32,928
Instead of a sort of weird,
witchy adventure,
30
00:01:32,928 --> 00:01:36,056
why don't we rob some, um...
Oh, God, what's it called again?
31
00:01:36,056 --> 00:01:37,933
- Oh, yeah. Money.
- [Dick] No.
32
00:01:37,933 --> 00:01:40,977
Moose, you gotta face your fears.
Honesty, that was puberty.
33
00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:42,729
And, Nell, not everything's about money.
34
00:01:42,729 --> 00:01:45,106
- [grumbles]
- I mean, maybe this lady needs our help.
35
00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:46,358
Let me deal with this.
36
00:01:52,364 --> 00:01:54,950
[person coughing] Can't breathe.
37
00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:56,284
[sniffs] I can't breathe.
38
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,577
I can't breathe. [sniffs]
39
00:01:57,577 --> 00:01:59,454
Oh, you've rescued me. Thank you so much.
40
00:01:59,454 --> 00:02:01,081
[sniffs] I was so terrified.
41
00:02:01,081 --> 00:02:02,666
So terrified.
42
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:06,920
[laughs] Your faces.
43
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,256
You're like, "Oh, no.
Oh, no. She can't breathe."
44
00:02:09,256 --> 00:02:12,092
[laughs] Of course, I can breathe.
45
00:02:12,717 --> 00:02:15,220
Fire! [screams]
46
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:17,722
[cackling]
47
00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:24,896
[Nell pants] What the hell?
48
00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:27,399
Okay, guys, I've reassessed the situation.
49
00:02:27,399 --> 00:02:29,442
- I think she might be a witch after all.
- [sighs]
50
00:02:29,442 --> 00:02:31,319
Yeah, yeah. I did say that. Yeah.
51
00:02:32,487 --> 00:02:34,322
[theme music playing]
52
00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:55,760
[townspeople clamoring, screaming]
53
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,554
[Nell] Stay calm, everyone!
54
00:02:57,554 --> 00:02:59,973
This is a routine magical lockdown.
55
00:02:59,973 --> 00:03:03,226
- Stay home. Save lives.
- Everybody, panic!
56
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:06,313
A big, red, fiery witch
is gonna kill us all!
57
00:03:06,313 --> 00:03:07,689
[screams]
58
00:03:08,273 --> 00:03:09,983
I have no idea what's happening.
59
00:03:09,983 --> 00:03:12,777
I repeat.
I have no idea what the hell is going on.
60
00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:15,488
Meaty treats, all you can eat.
61
00:03:15,488 --> 00:03:18,950
Steaks so rare
they're practically a collector's item.
62
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:21,828
Dad, you've got to get inside.
The Reddlehag's on the loose.
63
00:03:21,828 --> 00:03:23,872
That's just what
they want you to think, Son.
64
00:03:23,872 --> 00:03:27,083
Reddlehag's just a ruse
made up by the powers that be
65
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:29,127
to make us let them take away our freedom.
66
00:03:29,127 --> 00:03:31,296
Your idiot son released her.
67
00:03:31,296 --> 00:03:32,589
[John] Believe that if you want.
68
00:03:32,589 --> 00:03:38,345
No witch's curse is as harmful as
not being able to hug your grandchildren.
69
00:03:38,345 --> 00:03:39,846
You don't have any grandchildren.
70
00:03:39,846 --> 00:03:40,931
Yes, whose fault is that?
71
00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:45,685
I've always dreamed of
a grandchild to inherit my cleavers.
72
00:03:45,685 --> 00:03:48,146
- [townspeople screaming]
- [Reddlehag cackles]
73
00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:49,481
Quick, to The Ruin.
74
00:03:49,481 --> 00:03:51,524
[John] Sausages for freedom.
75
00:03:51,524 --> 00:03:53,693
Come on out and eat 'em.
76
00:03:54,861 --> 00:03:56,780
Don't you need to be inside
for that to work?
77
00:03:57,948 --> 00:04:01,451
[sighs] Oh, no.
Now I'm more exposed than ever.
78
00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:03,245
{\an8}[Reddlehag cackles]
79
00:04:03,995 --> 00:04:05,580
Okay.
80
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:07,832
I got hagstones to ward her off,
81
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:13,880
pentagrams to sanctify the space
and red pepper hummus for self-defense.
82
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,466
Everyone knows witches hate hummus.
83
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:20,887
{\an8}And I'm gonna hang this sign on the door
and change it from "open" to "closed."
84
00:04:20,887 --> 00:04:22,931
{\an8}What? [chuckles]
That won't work on witches.
85
00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:25,559
- Why? They can read, can't they?
- [clears throat] We're all gonna die.
86
00:04:25,559 --> 00:04:26,643
Can't they?
87
00:04:26,643 --> 00:04:29,396
- [bell tolling]
- Okay, supernatural lock-in.
88
00:04:29,896 --> 00:04:32,190
If you're sheltering here,
it's a five-drink minimum.
89
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:34,359
And it's unhappy hour. Prices are double.
90
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,820
Thanks for letting us stay, Little Karen.
91
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:39,197
If there's any way we can repay you...
I mean, not money obviously.
92
00:04:39,197 --> 00:04:40,991
Still pretty bad at robbing coaches.
[laughs]
93
00:04:40,991 --> 00:04:43,326
Well, you can capture that witch
for a start.
94
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:44,369
Sales have plummeted.
95
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:46,621
Even Alf's had to cancel
his life drawing classes.
96
00:04:46,621 --> 00:04:48,290
[Dick] Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Alf.
97
00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:49,499
Worse for Tony, to be honest.
98
00:04:51,418 --> 00:04:52,752
[Nell] Okay, so we're hiding in a pub,
99
00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:55,297
which is a great strategy
for a surprise party
100
00:04:55,297 --> 00:04:56,965
but less so for fighting a witch.
101
00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:59,134
Well, we don't have to fight her, Nell.
102
00:04:59,134 --> 00:05:00,260
We could reason with her.
103
00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:02,721
She's pretty stylish.
We could exchange fashion tips.
104
00:05:02,721 --> 00:05:04,472
No, no, no, no, no, no.
105
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,641
You can't reason with her, Turpin.
106
00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,476
She works for the devil himself.
107
00:05:09,436 --> 00:05:11,354
Okay, I've got her case file here, right?
108
00:05:11,938 --> 00:05:14,566
Apparently, if she chooses your village,
109
00:05:14,566 --> 00:05:17,569
she'll then suck the soul out of everyone
who lives there.
110
00:05:17,569 --> 00:05:19,321
And I did not know that.
111
00:05:19,321 --> 00:05:21,406
[stammers] I mean,
you don't seem very worried.
112
00:05:21,406 --> 00:05:22,324
No, no.
113
00:05:22,324 --> 00:05:28,413
Well, technically, right... [whispering]
...I reside in Jersey for tax purposes.
114
00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:30,123
So it doesn't actually affect me.
115
00:05:30,123 --> 00:05:31,541
Fair enough. [sighs]
116
00:05:31,541 --> 00:05:33,168
Well, maybe she didn't choose our village.
117
00:05:33,168 --> 00:05:36,504
Maybe she flew around our village
and went on holiday instead,
118
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:37,589
to the Seychelles.
119
00:05:37,589 --> 00:05:42,010
- [laughs]
- [Reddlehag cackles]
120
00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:43,511
Actually, I think that might be her.
121
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:46,389
Hmm. Thank you, Dick.
I don't know what we'd do without you.
122
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,642
[Reddlehag screams]
123
00:05:49,935 --> 00:05:51,061
The Reddlehag.
124
00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:52,562
She's real.
125
00:05:53,855 --> 00:05:55,482
[cracking]
126
00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:57,442
[strains, sighs]
127
00:05:58,526 --> 00:05:59,361
[clattering]
128
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,489
[Reddlehag] Hello.
129
00:06:03,198 --> 00:06:04,574
[screaming]
130
00:06:04,574 --> 00:06:05,533
[humming]
131
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:06,993
[whimpers]
132
00:06:06,993 --> 00:06:09,746
- [hisses]
- [screams]
133
00:06:09,746 --> 00:06:10,664
[squawks]
134
00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:14,334
[Dick] Oh, my God.
Did she just vaporize George?
135
00:06:15,335 --> 00:06:16,795
- What?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
136
00:06:16,795 --> 00:06:18,922
She also turns people into chickens. Yeah.
137
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:20,298
Chickens?
138
00:06:20,298 --> 00:06:22,217
Well, it's any flightless bird,
to be honest with you.
139
00:06:22,217 --> 00:06:27,514
Emus, dodoes, peacocks,
penguins, emperor penguins, dead pigeons.
140
00:06:27,514 --> 00:06:30,100
But as I say, you know, mainly chickens.
141
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:32,102
[exhaling sharply] I hate chickens.
142
00:06:32,102 --> 00:06:35,146
Beady-eyed monsters
with their jerky bodies.
143
00:06:35,146 --> 00:06:38,149
I mean, this just gets worser and worser.
144
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:39,401
[Geoffrey] No, no, it's all right.
145
00:06:39,401 --> 00:06:45,156
It says here, right, she can't be invited
in unless we speak her name 27 times.
146
00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:46,658
- [sighs]
- Great.
147
00:06:46,658 --> 00:06:49,452
So all we have to do
is not say Reddlehag 27 times.
148
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,912
Not like Reddlehag's even a common word.
149
00:06:50,912 --> 00:06:53,290
I mean, you have to go out
of your way to say Reddlehag.
150
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:54,791
Wait, what does Reddlehag actually mean?
151
00:06:54,791 --> 00:06:55,959
[Geoffrey] Interesting bit of trivia.
152
00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:59,671
The reddle in Reddlehag
is actually from a dye,
153
00:06:59,671 --> 00:07:02,674
and the hag is obviously, you know, a hag.
154
00:07:02,674 --> 00:07:04,885
So it's reddle, hag.
155
00:07:04,885 --> 00:07:06,344
- Reddlehag.
- Hmm.
156
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:09,264
Yeah, has anyone noticed we've
just started saying Reddlehag a lot?
157
00:07:09,264 --> 00:07:11,224
We haven't said Reddlehag that many times.
158
00:07:11,224 --> 00:07:13,393
I mean, I said Reddlehag.
Moose said Reddlehag.
159
00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:15,520
Honesty, you definitely said Reddlehag.
[chuckles]
160
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,230
And Geoffrey said Reddlehag a few times.
161
00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:18,481
And then you said Reddlehag.
162
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,650
And then you just said Reddlehag
a load more times.
163
00:07:20,650 --> 00:07:21,902
[Moose] Oh, my God.
164
00:07:21,902 --> 00:07:22,861
What are we doing?
165
00:07:22,861 --> 00:07:24,446
I think we just entered the teens.
166
00:07:24,446 --> 00:07:26,907
Okay, stop panicking.
All we have to do is not say Reddlehag.
167
00:07:26,907 --> 00:07:30,410
You just said Reddlehag. [groans]
168
00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:33,038
Okay, that's a great example
of what we're not supposed to do.
169
00:07:33,038 --> 00:07:34,706
What are we not supposed to do?
170
00:07:34,706 --> 00:07:36,166
- Say Reddlehag.
- Reddlehag.
171
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:37,626
No, don't say Reddlehag.
172
00:07:37,626 --> 00:07:39,085
Well, why would you tell me
to say Reddlehag
173
00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,378
if you didn't want me to say Reddlehag?
174
00:07:40,378 --> 00:07:41,546
I didn't tell you to say Reddlehag.
175
00:07:41,546 --> 00:07:43,882
You said Reddlehag when I was
telling you not to say Reddlehag.
176
00:07:43,882 --> 00:07:45,425
Oh, my God. I can't stop saying it.
177
00:07:45,425 --> 00:07:47,344
Okay, I think we just reached
a critical point.
178
00:07:47,344 --> 00:07:48,887
So nobody say Reddleh...
179
00:07:48,887 --> 00:07:50,096
[both gasp]
180
00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,014
[sighs]
181
00:07:51,014 --> 00:07:54,392
Hmm. [inhales deeply]
Nobody say that word again.
182
00:07:55,936 --> 00:07:57,187
[breathes deeply]
183
00:07:58,063 --> 00:07:59,773
- Okay. It's not that hard, is it?
- [door opens]
184
00:07:59,773 --> 00:08:03,068
Guys, you've gotta be careful.
There's a witch outside.
185
00:08:03,068 --> 00:08:04,778
- She's called the, um...
- No, no, no.
186
00:08:04,778 --> 00:08:07,405
- Uh, um, I can't remember.
- [gasps]
187
00:08:07,405 --> 00:08:08,490
Stay safe, yeah?
188
00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:11,201
[sighing, laughing]
189
00:08:11,201 --> 00:08:12,619
Thank God. [chuckles]
190
00:08:12,619 --> 00:08:15,288
For a minute, I thought he
was gonna say Reddlehag. [whines]
191
00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:20,418
Did somebody say my name?
192
00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:23,755
- Ooh. [screams]
- [Honesty] Get her, Nell!
193
00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:26,383
[grunts]
194
00:08:26,383 --> 00:08:28,260
[screams]
195
00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:29,970
[hisses]
196
00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:30,887
- [gasps] What?
- [giggles]
197
00:08:30,887 --> 00:08:32,304
You got something in your teeth.
198
00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:35,433
[exhales deeply] This is nice, isn't it?
199
00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:37,561
It's been ages since I been in a boozer.
200
00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:38,937
Ooh! What shall I have?
201
00:08:38,937 --> 00:08:40,981
What shall I have? What shall I have?
What shall I have?
202
00:08:40,981 --> 00:08:42,816
Oh, I know.
203
00:08:42,816 --> 00:08:45,944
I'll have a pint of souls!
204
00:08:45,944 --> 00:08:47,487
- [cackles]
- [gasps]
205
00:08:47,487 --> 00:08:49,823
Don't worry, guys. I got this. [chuckles]
206
00:08:50,407 --> 00:08:51,366
Hi. Dick Turpin.
207
00:08:51,366 --> 00:08:52,784
We met earlier actually.
208
00:08:52,784 --> 00:08:53,743
Oh, yeah, yeah.
209
00:08:53,743 --> 00:08:56,621
Couldn't help overhearing
that you were after some souls.
210
00:08:56,621 --> 00:08:58,456
Love souls, very moreish.
211
00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:01,001
I wonder if I could tempt you
into having something else?
212
00:09:01,001 --> 00:09:02,335
Maybe a champagne cocktail.
213
00:09:04,963 --> 00:09:06,590
We d... We don't do champagne cocktails.
214
00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:09,509
Vodka, lime and soda?
215
00:09:09,509 --> 00:09:11,678
- Those can be fun.
- Dick, you know we only have beer.
216
00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:12,929
Kill me.
217
00:09:12,929 --> 00:09:14,764
Okay... [sighs] ...what about beer?
218
00:09:14,764 --> 00:09:17,851
Ice-cold beer, slide into a booth,
shoot the breeze.
219
00:09:17,851 --> 00:09:19,477
[chuckles] Keep those beers coming.
220
00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:21,521
I mean, not all night.
I've got stuff to do in the morning.
221
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:23,189
[snarls]
222
00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,900
[breathing heavily]
223
00:09:27,569 --> 00:09:28,570
All right.
224
00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:30,280
- Really?
- [sighs]
225
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,616
Little Karen, uh, two beers. [chuckling]
226
00:09:32,616 --> 00:09:34,784
And, um, will you be paying for that?
227
00:09:34,784 --> 00:09:35,911
Yeah, just put it on my tab.
228
00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:38,121
[scoffs] What tab?
Hang on, you don't have a tab.
229
00:09:38,121 --> 00:09:39,748
- Can we talk about this later?
- Not really.
230
00:09:39,748 --> 00:09:41,249
Sort of got a situation going on.
231
00:09:42,292 --> 00:09:45,045
There you go. Lovely ice-cold beer.
[chuckles] Cheers.
232
00:09:45,962 --> 00:09:48,673
- Hmm. Nice head.
- Me or the beer?
233
00:09:48,673 --> 00:09:51,343
[laughing]
234
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,849
[spits] Oh!
235
00:09:57,849 --> 00:10:00,477
That is rank. Yuck!
236
00:10:00,477 --> 00:10:01,937
I'll change the barrels again.
237
00:10:01,937 --> 00:10:07,275
[sighs] Why would you
give me generic lager?
238
00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:08,193
I'm so sorry.
239
00:10:08,193 --> 00:10:09,986
I just don't know what I was thinking.
I panicked.
240
00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:11,655
Um, okay, let's change tack slightly.
241
00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:12,822
Do you fancy a latte?
242
00:10:14,532 --> 00:10:15,367
[groans]
243
00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:16,284
[screams]
244
00:10:16,284 --> 00:10:18,703
Stick to what you know!
245
00:10:18,703 --> 00:10:20,914
I know what I'll have. Your soul.
246
00:10:20,914 --> 00:10:23,959
Your soul. Your soul.
247
00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,627
Ooh, not yours.
248
00:10:25,627 --> 00:10:27,671
And a packet of pork scratchings, please.
249
00:10:27,671 --> 00:10:28,797
- [gasps]
- [thuds]
250
00:10:29,381 --> 00:10:31,049
[breathes heavily] See?
251
00:10:31,049 --> 00:10:32,717
I knew it worked on witches. [laughs]
252
00:10:33,301 --> 00:10:36,012
Guys, we got a problem.
253
00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:38,390
[clucking]
254
00:10:39,683 --> 00:10:42,727
[laughs] Ooh, you're tickling.
255
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:45,105
You know I can break out of
these ropes anytime I want.
256
00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:46,147
Can't be bothered.
257
00:10:46,147 --> 00:10:47,649
- Shut up.
- [gun cocks]
258
00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:51,152
You turn Dick back into Dick,
or you're dead-lehag.
259
00:10:51,152 --> 00:10:54,155
Sorry. Sorry, sorry. Dick is?
260
00:10:54,155 --> 00:10:59,578
This poor, beautiful man that you
turned into an appalling, pecky monster.
261
00:10:59,578 --> 00:11:02,872
And don't pretend it's not him, yeah?
'Cause we can see the eggs he's laying.
262
00:11:02,872 --> 00:11:05,875
Oh, him. Oh, your boyfriend.
263
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:09,671
I turned the man you love into a chicken,
and you're angry.
264
00:11:09,671 --> 00:11:10,672
I get it.
265
00:11:10,672 --> 00:11:12,757
He's not my boyfriend. [scoffs]
He's not the man I love.
266
00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:15,093
- Yeah, you fancy him though, don't you?
- I don't fancy him.
267
00:11:15,093 --> 00:11:16,595
- Yes, you do.
- [stammers] I don't.
268
00:11:16,595 --> 00:11:18,138
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
269
00:11:18,138 --> 00:11:20,390
Oh, it's obvious, isn't it? It's obvious.
270
00:11:20,390 --> 00:11:22,142
- It may be a little bit actually.
- No, stop it.
271
00:11:22,142 --> 00:11:23,894
- No, um...
- Now, let's have some fun. Come on.
272
00:11:23,894 --> 00:11:24,853
When you gonna burn me?
273
00:11:24,853 --> 00:11:27,564
Chase me around with pitchforks,
dunk me in water, torture me.
274
00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,983
Oi, bum face. You might enjoy that.
275
00:11:30,650 --> 00:11:33,486
[gasps] Nell, she's doing scary eyes.
[whimpers]
276
00:11:33,486 --> 00:11:35,906
I'm not. Oh, my God.
He's so oversensitive.
277
00:11:35,906 --> 00:11:37,782
She's doing them right now.
278
00:11:37,782 --> 00:11:38,992
Dick, don't look.
279
00:11:38,992 --> 00:11:40,577
It's really freaking me out.
280
00:11:40,577 --> 00:11:42,996
Will you chill out, please?
Oh, I swear I'm not doing anything.
281
00:11:42,996 --> 00:11:44,164
Now, come on, burn me.
282
00:11:44,164 --> 00:11:45,916
Burn me, burn me, burn me,
283
00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:48,335
- burn me, burn me, burn me.
- Oh, my God. You are so irritating.
284
00:11:48,335 --> 00:11:49,628
Burn me.
285
00:11:49,628 --> 00:11:51,004
Okay, I think we should kill her.
286
00:11:51,004 --> 00:11:52,505
[stammers] There's a fireplace there.
287
00:11:52,505 --> 00:11:55,926
It's quite small, but we can put her feet
in it and kind of fan the flames.
288
00:11:55,926 --> 00:11:58,011
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I wouldn't do that if I was you.
289
00:11:58,011 --> 00:12:02,057
If you kill her, her magic dies too and
your boyfriend remains a chicken forever.
290
00:12:02,057 --> 00:12:03,475
He's not my boyfriend.
291
00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:04,392
Forever?
292
00:12:04,392 --> 00:12:06,436
Y-You mean he'll be an immortal chicken?
293
00:12:06,436 --> 00:12:09,648
No, forever as in
the average life span of a chicken.
294
00:12:09,648 --> 00:12:11,107
Okay, what's that?
295
00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:14,361
About five to ten years in the wild
and up to two years in captivity.
296
00:12:14,361 --> 00:12:17,072
You know, depending on
whether he's a layer or a broiler.
297
00:12:17,072 --> 00:12:19,908
[sighs] So if we kill her, we lose Dick.
298
00:12:19,908 --> 00:12:22,035
But if we don't,
she'll send us all to hell.
299
00:12:22,035 --> 00:12:23,328
I mean, that's a no-brainer.
300
00:12:23,328 --> 00:12:24,704
Get her in the fire.
301
00:12:24,704 --> 00:12:26,790
- [clucking]
- [Moose] Well said.
302
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:28,917
The boss has spoken. Hmm?
303
00:12:28,917 --> 00:12:30,627
[sighs, groans] Fine.
304
00:12:31,127 --> 00:12:33,088
We'll get Dick back,
and then we'll burn her.
305
00:12:33,088 --> 00:12:37,008
But if I end up in hell,
I'm gonna be absolutely furious.
306
00:12:37,008 --> 00:12:39,177
I've got the best idea. Let's go to Craig.
307
00:12:39,177 --> 00:12:41,054
- [stammers] He'll know what to do.
- Yeah.
308
00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:43,807
I mean, he definitely won't,
but it's worth a try.
309
00:12:43,807 --> 00:12:45,976
Okay, you two go
and don't forget Chick Turpin.
310
00:12:45,976 --> 00:12:47,435
[gasps]
311
00:12:47,435 --> 00:12:49,271
I thought we agreed on Dick Chirpin'.
312
00:12:49,271 --> 00:12:51,147
Oh, they both work. Hurry up.
313
00:12:51,147 --> 00:12:53,942
And what about us?
We've still got a witch in the pantry.
314
00:12:53,942 --> 00:12:54,901
Yeah, but it's fine.
315
00:12:54,901 --> 00:12:57,195
We just have to make sure no one
kills her until they get back.
316
00:12:57,195 --> 00:12:59,030
It's easy.
It's not like anyone knows she's here.
317
00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:00,240
- [knocking]
- [sighs]
318
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,701
[John]
We know you've got the Reddlehag in there.
319
00:13:02,701 --> 00:13:06,538
You've got two minutes to bring her out
for immediate burning.
320
00:13:06,538 --> 00:13:09,457
- [mob] Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
- [sighs]
321
00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:14,087
[teacher] Get a move on, Craig.
Haven't got all day.
322
00:13:14,087 --> 00:13:15,463
Here we go.
323
00:13:15,463 --> 00:13:18,049
- [groans] Okay.
- [cauldron bubbling]
324
00:13:18,842 --> 00:13:23,847
Eye of toad, nose of badger,
dash of soya sauce.
325
00:13:24,431 --> 00:13:25,473
Three tears of a virgin.
326
00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,559
Three drops, not mine. It's my mate's.
327
00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,185
And voilĂ !
328
00:13:29,185 --> 00:13:30,645
Your pouring technique's sloppy.
329
00:13:31,396 --> 00:13:32,939
Color's a bit gray.
330
00:13:32,939 --> 00:13:34,441
Not much of a love potion.
331
00:13:34,441 --> 00:13:37,110
More of a "love spending time
with you but just as friends" potion.
332
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:39,404
- [chuckles] Still, I suppose it'll do.
- [chuckles]
333
00:13:39,404 --> 00:13:40,947
- Just.
- Thank you.
334
00:13:41,489 --> 00:13:43,199
Now for the moment of truth.
335
00:13:43,199 --> 00:13:46,077
[inhales deeply]
One of us is gonna have to try this.
336
00:13:46,077 --> 00:13:47,621
Either way, it's gonna get awkward.
337
00:13:47,621 --> 00:13:49,164
Come near me and it's an instant fail.
338
00:13:49,164 --> 00:13:50,123
- Sorry.
- [Honesty] Craig!
339
00:13:50,123 --> 00:13:51,499
Craig! Craig! We need your help.
340
00:13:51,499 --> 00:13:53,335
Who are you? These are exam conditions.
341
00:13:53,335 --> 00:13:55,795
Yeah, but there's an evil witch out
there that wants to suck our souls.
342
00:13:55,795 --> 00:13:59,007
And worse, she's turned Dick
into an horrible chicken.
343
00:13:59,007 --> 00:14:01,176
- [Dick clucking]
- Guys, honestly not a good time.
344
00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:04,179
This is Maureen from the Warlock Council.
Okay?
345
00:14:04,179 --> 00:14:06,264
I'm having my test for my magic license.
346
00:14:06,264 --> 00:14:08,141
Yeah, for the seventh time.
347
00:14:08,141 --> 00:14:10,393
Your uncle passed first go. Embarrassing.
348
00:14:10,393 --> 00:14:12,437
Magic license? What are you talking about?
349
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:14,314
- You do magic stuff all the time.
- [Craig whimpers]
350
00:14:14,314 --> 00:14:15,857
- I mean, we've seen you.
- You got explosions...
351
00:14:15,857 --> 00:14:18,109
- I mean, you do spells. Potions.
- ...smoke, uh, fires cracking.
352
00:14:18,109 --> 00:14:20,320
- [speaking indistinctly]
- [whines] Shu... Shut up!
353
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,655
Shut up! Allegations. Not true.
354
00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:24,157
I would never practice magic
without a license. That's illegal.
355
00:14:24,157 --> 00:14:26,076
What are you writing down?
Don't write any of that down.
356
00:14:26,076 --> 00:14:27,452
G... Guys, look. I'd love to help,
357
00:14:27,452 --> 00:14:29,788
but Maureen's time is more important
to me, so I c...
358
00:14:29,788 --> 00:14:33,708
Actually, this is the perfect opportunity
to assess your magical competency.
359
00:14:34,292 --> 00:14:35,627
Or lack thereof.
360
00:14:36,169 --> 00:14:38,547
Turn your friend back, capture the witch.
361
00:14:39,089 --> 00:14:41,883
- Clock starts now.
- [whimpers] Sure.
362
00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:43,677
Easy-peasy. Broomstick ride in the park.
363
00:14:43,677 --> 00:14:45,220
I know what I'm doing. [chuckles]
364
00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,805
I do not know what I'm doing.
365
00:14:46,805 --> 00:14:49,182
- [sighs]
- [mob] Burn the witch!
366
00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:52,143
[mob] Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
367
00:14:52,143 --> 00:14:53,228
[shushes]
368
00:14:53,228 --> 00:14:55,105
- We're closed!
- Yeah, for a wedding.
369
00:14:55,105 --> 00:14:56,523
- And a funeral.
- And a christening.
370
00:14:56,523 --> 00:14:59,067
- Same family. Emotional roller-coaster.
- [John] No.
371
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:02,529
Where is the Reddlehag?
372
00:15:02,529 --> 00:15:03,863
- Reddlehag? [chuckles]
- What Reddlehag?
373
00:15:03,863 --> 00:15:05,991
- There's no Reddlehag in here.
- I've never even heard of a Reddlehag.
374
00:15:05,991 --> 00:15:09,077
- [speaking indistinctly, scoffs]
- [Reddlehag] Cooey!
375
00:15:09,077 --> 00:15:11,413
My ears are burning!
376
00:15:11,413 --> 00:15:14,124
- [breathes shakily]
- [mob] Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
377
00:15:14,124 --> 00:15:16,543
There's actually nothing
to see through here.
378
00:15:16,543 --> 00:15:18,003
I don't know why you all
are coming over here.
379
00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:19,045
- Hiya.
- [mob] Burn the witch!
380
00:15:19,045 --> 00:15:20,839
Yeah. [chuckles]
I know what this looks like.
381
00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:22,716
But this is not the Reddlehag. [chuckles]
382
00:15:22,716 --> 00:15:24,759
- So why is she all red?
- [chuckles]
383
00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:26,720
Red is very in this season.
384
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:31,641
Why are her eyes glowing
demonically in a witchlike fashion?
385
00:15:31,641 --> 00:15:34,311
- Allergies or something like that.
- She's in league with the devil!
386
00:15:34,311 --> 00:15:36,271
- Hey, I'm not in league with the devil!
- [mob clamors]
387
00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:37,689
[Reddlehag] Do we have chemistry?
388
00:15:37,689 --> 00:15:40,400
Did we hook up in Hades?
389
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,110
You'd have to ask him. [chuckles]
390
00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:44,571
- Burn the hag!
- [clamoring]
391
00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:45,488
Finally.
392
00:15:45,488 --> 00:15:48,366
- [mob] Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
- Wait, wait, stop. Stop.
393
00:15:48,366 --> 00:15:52,037
I mean,
you can't burn a witch without a trial.
394
00:15:52,037 --> 00:15:53,538
[Nell exhales sharply]
395
00:15:53,538 --> 00:15:55,624
That is true. Fine.
396
00:15:56,541 --> 00:15:59,336
We'll, uh... First we'll hold a trial,
397
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:04,382
- and then we'll burn the hag!
- [mob screaming]
398
00:16:04,382 --> 00:16:06,551
- [Craig] Okay. One Dick Turpin coming up.
- [Dick clucking]
399
00:16:06,551 --> 00:16:07,552
[thuds, sparks]
400
00:16:07,552 --> 00:16:09,179
There we go. Almost there.
401
00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:10,096
Almost there?
402
00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:12,432
He's a bloody Spaniel.
403
00:16:13,225 --> 00:16:14,726
At least he's vegan now.
404
00:16:14,726 --> 00:16:17,103
Stand and deliver.
405
00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:19,814
Silver lining: it's definitely him.
406
00:16:19,814 --> 00:16:21,983
Absolute incompetence.
407
00:16:21,983 --> 00:16:25,362
Guys, this is the best thing
I've ever seen in my life.
408
00:16:25,362 --> 00:16:28,156
Uh, I can see Hempstead. I can see Nell.
409
00:16:28,156 --> 00:16:30,450
Be careful with that crystal ball,
I haven't finished paying for it yet.
410
00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:31,660
Let me see that.
411
00:16:32,244 --> 00:16:35,080
It's not Hempstead, it's just
a bunch of people playing football!
412
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,665
Yeah, there's a game going on
in South End.
413
00:16:36,665 --> 00:16:37,916
I was flicking between the two.
414
00:16:37,916 --> 00:16:40,168
Well, switch it back to the Reddlehag!
415
00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:41,670
- I want to see the Reddlehag!
- [Craig] Wait.
416
00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:42,754
What are you doing, man?
417
00:16:42,754 --> 00:16:44,005
The Reddlehag?
418
00:16:45,340 --> 00:16:48,468
I'm supposed to capture the Reddlehag?
419
00:16:49,678 --> 00:16:51,638
Well, this'll be interesting.
420
00:16:51,638 --> 00:16:54,391
[breathes shakily, inhales sharply]
421
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,518
- [exhales deeply]
- [gavel pounds]
422
00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:59,312
I hereby call this court to order.
423
00:16:59,312 --> 00:17:05,276
My name is Lord Alistair Montgomery
Nigel Dephefil Rookwood XXXIII.
424
00:17:05,276 --> 00:17:07,654
I'll be your judge today.
425
00:17:07,654 --> 00:17:08,947
What's he even doing here?
426
00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:11,324
He insists on judging every witch trial
in the area.
427
00:17:11,324 --> 00:17:12,367
His favorite hobby.
428
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:15,996
We are here to determine
whether that woman,
429
00:17:15,996 --> 00:17:20,208
who is definitely the Reddlehag,
is in fact the Reddlehag.
430
00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:22,459
Yeah, I think you mean her.
431
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,795
Oh, yes, I mean that woman.
432
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:25,380
How do you plead?
433
00:17:26,506 --> 00:17:28,967
Oh, um, please, please don't kill me.
434
00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:33,513
Um, please, please have mercy, um...
[chuckles] ...I don't know.
435
00:17:33,513 --> 00:17:34,514
I've never done it.
436
00:17:34,514 --> 00:17:36,308
I mean guilty or not guilty.
437
00:17:36,308 --> 00:17:38,393
Oh, uh, guilty.
438
00:17:38,393 --> 00:17:40,145
- [crowd clamors]
- Obviously! [chuckles]
439
00:17:40,145 --> 00:17:43,440
- She means not guilty. Not guilty.
- [crowd murmuring]
440
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,568
And, come on, how is this a fair trial?
441
00:17:46,568 --> 00:17:49,029
[stammers]
The jury's that mob from before.
442
00:17:49,029 --> 00:17:51,197
And we're going to convict!
443
00:17:51,197 --> 00:17:55,243
- Burn the hag! Burn the hag!
- [shouting, clamoring]
444
00:17:56,661 --> 00:17:58,163
- [cow moos]
- Don't worry.
445
00:17:58,163 --> 00:18:01,625
No one cares about justice more than I.
446
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:07,172
Hence why I've assumed the role
of your fair and impartial judge.
447
00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:09,841
And also prosecutor.
448
00:18:09,841 --> 00:18:11,551
Let the trial begin.
449
00:18:12,344 --> 00:18:15,180
Please state your name, occupation,
and place of work.
450
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,892
Geoffrey the Jailer, jailer, jail.
451
00:18:18,892 --> 00:18:21,770
And can you identify the Reddlehag?
452
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:23,980
Yeah, it's her, the one who
keeps saying she's the Reddlehag.
453
00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:25,899
Oh, that's me. He means me.
454
00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:27,359
No further questions, Your Honor.
455
00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:28,777
Very well, keep things moving.
456
00:18:28,777 --> 00:18:30,987
Yes, of course, Your Honor. Next witness!
457
00:18:31,571 --> 00:18:34,532
Her. She turned into fire and flew around.
458
00:18:34,532 --> 00:18:37,369
- It was all quite triggering.
- He loved it.
459
00:18:37,369 --> 00:18:39,287
I drew a picture of her.
460
00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:41,164
Obsessed.
461
00:18:41,831 --> 00:18:44,209
I was just here
for the life drawing class.
462
00:18:44,209 --> 00:18:46,670
Her! She's the witch! Right there!
463
00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:49,256
Little Karen,
we're trying to save Dick's life!
464
00:18:49,256 --> 00:18:52,133
Sorry, got carried away.
Never been a witness before.
465
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:57,514
In conclusion, she's definitely a witch
and we should definitely burn her.
466
00:18:57,514 --> 00:19:02,352
- Also, discount meat treats are available.
- [crowd murmurs]
467
00:19:02,352 --> 00:19:05,897
Toast a kebab as you roast a Reddlehag.
468
00:19:05,897 --> 00:19:07,899
Objection. Bribery.
469
00:19:07,899 --> 00:19:09,276
- Overruled.
- [stammers]
470
00:19:09,276 --> 00:19:11,611
Thank you, Your Honor.
Oh, you're more than welcome.
471
00:19:11,611 --> 00:19:14,364
And with that, I rest my case.
472
00:19:14,364 --> 00:19:17,867
- [chuckles, sighs]
- Oh, it's not looking good for you, is it?
473
00:19:17,867 --> 00:19:20,704
[chuckles] And you can't win
against free sausages.
474
00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:25,500
Maybe I don't have to win,
just introduce an element of doubt.
475
00:19:27,335 --> 00:19:30,589
I call John Turpin to the stand.
476
00:19:30,589 --> 00:19:32,340
[crowd gasps, murmurs]
477
00:19:33,049 --> 00:19:36,094
So, the Reddlehag can't
claim the souls of an innocent.
478
00:19:36,094 --> 00:19:39,681
So what she does, she comes to town,
she does a little bit of low-key magic.
479
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:41,474
A chicken here, a chicken there.
480
00:19:41,474 --> 00:19:43,643
And then a mob forms to burn her.
481
00:19:43,643 --> 00:19:45,729
And when they do, she...
482
00:19:45,729 --> 00:19:47,022
- Cover little Dick's ears.
- [Moose] Okay.
483
00:19:48,899 --> 00:19:55,572
[in deep voice] She takes her demon form
and claims the souls for the devil.
484
00:19:55,572 --> 00:19:58,074
So if she gets burned, Hempstead's doomed.
485
00:19:58,074 --> 00:20:00,744
I mean, why don't you try
leading with that, you weirdo?
486
00:20:00,744 --> 00:20:02,454
[normal] I was trying to do
a performance for, you know...
487
00:20:02,454 --> 00:20:04,539
- How was that, Maureen? Was that good?
- Wasn't great.
488
00:20:04,539 --> 00:20:06,082
- [Craig whines]
- We have to warn Nell.
489
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:08,001
[stammers] I haven't turned Dick back.
490
00:20:08,001 --> 00:20:10,879
- [Moose] You can do it on the way.
- Hey, watch it, you're crushing the silk.
491
00:20:10,879 --> 00:20:12,297
[Moose] Sorry, boss.
492
00:20:14,132 --> 00:20:17,510
So, John Turpin, you accused my client
of being the Reddlehag?
493
00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:18,428
Correct?
494
00:20:18,428 --> 00:20:20,847
I know what's what with witches
and what's a witch.
495
00:20:20,847 --> 00:20:23,141
I should, too.
I was married to one for eight years.
496
00:20:23,141 --> 00:20:24,809
- [chuckles]
- [laughs] Nice one.
497
00:20:24,809 --> 00:20:25,769
[crowd murmurs]
498
00:20:25,769 --> 00:20:27,646
So, this isn't the first witch
you've accused?
499
00:20:27,646 --> 00:20:29,898
Hey, hey, don't hag-shame him.
500
00:20:29,898 --> 00:20:32,025
Ah, ah, ah, ah. Well?
501
00:20:32,943 --> 00:20:36,488
My suspicions might have been
previously aroused.
502
00:20:36,488 --> 00:20:38,490
[crowd murmuring]
503
00:20:38,490 --> 00:20:45,038
Hands up, anyone in here who's been
accused of being a witch by John Turpin.
504
00:20:46,998 --> 00:20:50,001
He-he-he used rosemary in a sausage.
505
00:20:50,001 --> 00:20:53,797
- Witches love herbs.
- That is true, I am a flavor fiend.
506
00:20:53,797 --> 00:20:57,092
So, you have a history of
casual witch accusations.
507
00:20:58,343 --> 00:20:59,344
But why?
508
00:21:00,220 --> 00:21:05,058
Could it be that every time there's
a witch-burning, sausage sales go up?
509
00:21:05,058 --> 00:21:09,145
It's just a "coink-idence."
Sausages are very good on a barbecue.
510
00:21:09,145 --> 00:21:15,235
Or you deliberately accuse innocent,
if admittedly very guilty-seeming women,
511
00:21:15,235 --> 00:21:20,407
of witchcraft to drive up sales
in a meat-flogging ploy!
512
00:21:20,407 --> 00:21:22,951
That is a vile conspiracy!
513
00:21:22,951 --> 00:21:25,120
Oh, save it for the courts!
514
00:21:26,121 --> 00:21:27,414
This is the court.
515
00:21:28,623 --> 00:21:31,042
Yep, that's right.
Um, in which case, carry on.
516
00:21:31,751 --> 00:21:32,586
Hmm.
517
00:21:33,086 --> 00:21:35,005
Well, this is all rather compelling.
518
00:21:36,089 --> 00:21:38,133
But I think we all just want
to burn a witch.
519
00:21:38,133 --> 00:21:39,885
So, I find her guilty.
520
00:21:39,885 --> 00:21:43,054
- Yes. Victory for justice and sausages!
- [crowd clamoring, murmuring]
521
00:21:43,054 --> 00:21:46,141
Which, by the way,
are still available at a discount rate.
522
00:21:46,141 --> 00:21:47,851
And burn her too.
523
00:21:47,851 --> 00:21:49,227
- Just to be sure.
- What?
524
00:21:49,227 --> 00:21:52,856
[Rookwood] Anyone defending a witch
must be a witch too.
525
00:21:52,856 --> 00:21:54,274
It's basic witch logic.
526
00:21:54,274 --> 00:21:55,483
What have I done?
527
00:21:55,483 --> 00:21:57,402
[Reddlehag] Stake time, stake time,
528
00:21:57,402 --> 00:21:58,778
- stake time!
- Burn the witch!
529
00:21:58,778 --> 00:22:00,947
[laughing]
530
00:22:00,947 --> 00:22:03,825
[cheering, clamoring]
531
00:22:03,825 --> 00:22:05,619
Get off me!
532
00:22:05,619 --> 00:22:07,329
I'm not a witch!
533
00:22:07,829 --> 00:22:09,080
I'm not... [groans]
534
00:22:09,581 --> 00:22:14,961
- [mob] Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
- Another day, another pyre! [chuckles]
535
00:22:14,961 --> 00:22:16,171
[person] Wait!
536
00:22:18,924 --> 00:22:20,592
You can't kill that witch.
537
00:22:20,592 --> 00:22:22,177
Wait, who the hell are you?
538
00:22:22,177 --> 00:22:24,179
Dick Turpin, obviously.
539
00:22:24,179 --> 00:22:26,640
Sorry, sorry. Nearly there, nearly there.
540
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,809
[sighs] He was a child a minute ago,
I just went a bit too far the other way.
541
00:22:29,809 --> 00:22:31,228
Are you warm enough, boss?
542
00:22:31,228 --> 00:22:33,897
- [grunts, moans]
- Would you like a, uh, hot-water bottle?
543
00:22:33,897 --> 00:22:36,483
Hurry up already!
I'm about to be burned to death up here.
544
00:22:36,483 --> 00:22:39,069
Yeah, sorry, okay. One more go.
Just give me one more go.
545
00:22:39,653 --> 00:22:41,446
Okay. [inhales sharply]
546
00:22:41,446 --> 00:22:43,156
Is it important that he stays a man?
547
00:22:43,156 --> 00:22:44,824
Oh, for God's sake, here.
548
00:22:46,534 --> 00:22:48,536
[recites incantation]
549
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,581
[roaring, snapping]
550
00:22:51,581 --> 00:22:55,377
- [Dick grunting]
- [gasping, gagging]
551
00:22:59,756 --> 00:23:01,049
Oh, that is horrendous.
552
00:23:01,758 --> 00:23:03,468
That is deeply troubling.
553
00:23:03,468 --> 00:23:04,386
[whimpers]
554
00:23:04,386 --> 00:23:05,470
[grunts]
555
00:23:05,470 --> 00:23:08,139
- [sighs, chuckles] Thanks, Maureen.
- [Maureen] Bosh. There we are.
556
00:23:09,057 --> 00:23:10,517
You're not gonna mark me down for that,
are you?
557
00:23:10,517 --> 00:23:12,227
- Well, I'm not gonna mark you up.
- [whimpers]
558
00:23:12,227 --> 00:23:13,937
- I'm back.
- Yes.
559
00:23:13,937 --> 00:23:15,021
Everybody, listen.
560
00:23:15,605 --> 00:23:18,400
You can't kill the witch,
she's trying to trick us.
561
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,569
She wants to be burned. Isn't that right?
562
00:23:20,569 --> 00:23:22,904
[blows] Huh?
563
00:23:22,904 --> 00:23:25,949
If we burn her,
she'll become more powerful than ever.
564
00:23:25,949 --> 00:23:29,744
Seriously, if you want to survive,
you have to let her live.
565
00:23:29,744 --> 00:23:32,622
I know it sounds weird,
but you've got to believe me.
566
00:23:33,790 --> 00:23:35,542
[both sigh]
567
00:23:37,586 --> 00:23:40,171
[mob] Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
568
00:23:40,171 --> 00:23:41,715
Yeah, I think that went pretty well.
569
00:23:41,715 --> 00:23:43,216
Oh, yeah. Absolutely brilliant.
570
00:23:43,216 --> 00:23:45,468
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm having a stressful day.
571
00:23:45,468 --> 00:23:47,095
I was a chicken for most of it.
572
00:23:47,095 --> 00:23:50,348
- Burn the hag! Burn the hag!
- [mob] Burn the hag!
573
00:23:50,348 --> 00:23:51,516
No!
574
00:23:51,516 --> 00:23:53,768
I'm not losing Dick again,
we only just got him back!
575
00:23:53,768 --> 00:23:56,730
No, it-it's all right.
He's giving a big inspirational speech.
576
00:23:56,730 --> 00:23:58,440
That's already happened.
577
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,068
[gasps] Uh,
I think there might be a delay.
578
00:24:02,068 --> 00:24:04,404
- Craig, do something.
- I can't.
579
00:24:04,404 --> 00:24:06,531
In order to trap a witch, you need a...
580
00:24:06,531 --> 00:24:09,576
you need a real warlock,
and that's just not me.
581
00:24:09,576 --> 00:24:12,913
As much as I sympathize,
I've already helped out once.
582
00:24:12,913 --> 00:24:13,997
You're on your own.
583
00:24:13,997 --> 00:24:17,876
No. I'm not letting the greatest man
in the world be burned!
584
00:24:17,876 --> 00:24:18,960
Or Nell.
585
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,547
Look, you may not be a proper warlock,
all right?
586
00:24:22,547 --> 00:24:26,927
You-You may be a pathetic, bucktoothed,
lonely little weirdo.
587
00:24:26,927 --> 00:24:28,511
But you're our friend.
588
00:24:28,511 --> 00:24:32,098
And for some strange reason,
we believe in you.
589
00:24:32,682 --> 00:24:33,808
So pull yourself together
590
00:24:33,808 --> 00:24:36,353
- and stop this witch!
- [whimpers]
591
00:24:36,353 --> 00:24:39,606
May I just say, you have a lovely village.
592
00:24:39,606 --> 00:24:45,570
And it's my honor to ignite
your inaugural Reddlehag witch-burning.
593
00:24:45,570 --> 00:24:47,614
- [mob chattering, clamoring]
- This is a nightmare.
594
00:24:47,614 --> 00:24:48,949
Dad, can you not help?
595
00:24:48,949 --> 00:24:50,200
In a minute, Son.
596
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,494
Just trying to maximalize my profits.
597
00:24:52,494 --> 00:24:53,870
I might be dead in a minute.
598
00:24:53,870 --> 00:24:56,331
Let the burning commence.
599
00:24:56,331 --> 00:24:58,416
[mob cheering]
600
00:25:00,669 --> 00:25:04,339
Right, I need a goat's foot, twelve rose
petals, and three teaspoons of dry sage.
601
00:25:04,339 --> 00:25:05,298
Stat!
602
00:25:05,298 --> 00:25:09,302
I've got one pig's trotter, two dead
daffodils and some herbes de Provence.
603
00:25:09,302 --> 00:25:11,012
Ah, okay, that'll have to do.
604
00:25:11,012 --> 00:25:14,599
And for the love of God, can someone
please get me my red pepper hummus?
605
00:25:14,599 --> 00:25:16,643
I knew it worked on witches.
606
00:25:16,643 --> 00:25:19,938
No, not for the spell, I just get
a little bit wobbly when I haven't eaten.
607
00:25:19,938 --> 00:25:20,855
[sighs]
608
00:25:20,855 --> 00:25:24,025
- [cackling]
- [cheering]
609
00:25:26,152 --> 00:25:30,198
Um, the Reddlehag,
can I ask you a final question?
610
00:25:30,198 --> 00:25:33,868
I mean, you're flying around the place,
you're sucking people's souls.
611
00:25:33,868 --> 00:25:35,328
You don't seem very happy.
612
00:25:35,328 --> 00:25:36,705
Are you okay?
613
00:25:38,582 --> 00:25:40,750
[Nell breathing shakily]
614
00:25:40,750 --> 00:25:42,836
I mean, I don't know.
I'm a hag, I'm a demonic hag.
615
00:25:42,836 --> 00:25:44,838
That's what I do, that's what I am.
616
00:25:44,838 --> 00:25:47,883
Yeah, I understand but, I mean,
what's in it for you?
617
00:25:48,758 --> 00:25:51,678
Fame, power, opportunities for travel,
great costume,
618
00:25:51,678 --> 00:25:54,472
unfettered by the physical
boundaries of the known universe.
619
00:25:55,348 --> 00:25:56,558
Fair enough.
620
00:25:56,558 --> 00:25:59,769
Well, I wouldn't normally ask,
but could you set us free?
621
00:26:04,274 --> 00:26:07,152
[chuckles] I can't believe I'm doing this.
622
00:26:07,152 --> 00:26:11,114
All right, Dick Turpin
and what's-her-face...
623
00:26:11,114 --> 00:26:13,700
[sighs] ...your souls are safe with me.
624
00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:14,784
[exhales sharply]
625
00:26:14,784 --> 00:26:16,119
Really?
626
00:26:17,454 --> 00:26:20,248
- Of course not, you doughnuts!
- [sighs]
627
00:26:20,248 --> 00:26:22,626
I'm pure evil!
628
00:26:22,626 --> 00:26:24,920
[laughing]
629
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,756
- [shrieks]
- [screaming, clamoring]
630
00:26:27,756 --> 00:26:29,216
Stop!
631
00:26:29,216 --> 00:26:31,676
- [chuckling]
- Let my friends go, Reddlehag!
632
00:26:31,676 --> 00:26:34,221
I'm not scared of you anymore!
633
00:26:34,221 --> 00:26:36,223
Moose, I should do it
'cause I'm the warlock. I'm the warlock.
634
00:26:36,223 --> 00:26:37,807
- Oh, yeah, sorry.
- Thank you, thank you.
635
00:26:37,807 --> 00:26:42,187
- [Craig whimpering] Begone, witch!
- [cackling]
636
00:26:42,187 --> 00:26:43,521
[shatters]
637
00:26:43,521 --> 00:26:44,689
Whoa!
638
00:26:44,689 --> 00:26:46,149
[cackles]
639
00:26:46,149 --> 00:26:48,193
[shrieking]
640
00:26:54,407 --> 00:26:57,118
- No! No! No, no!
- [groans] Gotcha!
641
00:26:57,118 --> 00:27:00,455
- [chuckles]
- [Reddlehag screaming indistinctly]
642
00:27:01,331 --> 00:27:02,582
[grunts] Got her!
643
00:27:02,582 --> 00:27:04,542
[chuckles] I can feel her in there!
644
00:27:04,542 --> 00:27:06,503
- Oh, she's scuttling about!
- [groans]
645
00:27:06,503 --> 00:27:08,588
[chuckling, shouting]
646
00:27:08,588 --> 00:27:11,132
[exclaims] Yes, Craig!
647
00:27:11,132 --> 00:27:12,884
Come on! [laughs]
648
00:27:12,884 --> 00:27:16,888
She's shrinking! She's shrinking!
She's gone.
649
00:27:16,888 --> 00:27:19,349
Well played. Well...
650
00:27:23,478 --> 00:27:26,731
It's... Uh... It's a delay,
there's... there's a delay.
651
00:27:30,068 --> 00:27:32,737
Congratulations, Craig,
you'll make a warlock yet.
652
00:27:32,737 --> 00:27:34,573
You mean, I've got my warlock license?
653
00:27:34,573 --> 00:27:37,951
Oh, God no.
You committed 173 major errors.
654
00:27:37,951 --> 00:27:39,035
Your best score yet.
655
00:27:39,035 --> 00:27:41,371
So I'll see you next year for your resit.
656
00:27:41,371 --> 00:27:42,747
Idiot.
657
00:27:42,747 --> 00:27:44,165
- I'll take that.
- [Reddlehag screaming]
658
00:27:44,165 --> 00:27:45,959
I think she needs to be
kept away from wallies like you.
659
00:27:45,959 --> 00:27:47,043
Where will you take her?
660
00:27:47,043 --> 00:27:49,462
Somewhere she can no longer
harm innocent people.
661
00:27:49,462 --> 00:27:50,881
I'm thinking one of the Balearic Islands.
662
00:27:50,881 --> 00:27:52,674
[Reddlehag] Not Ibiza, please.
663
00:27:52,674 --> 00:27:55,719
Guys, I'm so proud of you,
especially you, Moose.
664
00:27:55,719 --> 00:27:56,803
You really faced your fears.
665
00:27:56,803 --> 00:27:59,639
I didn't think I could do it without you,
boss. [chuckles]
666
00:27:59,639 --> 00:28:03,852
But I am a strong, independent highwayman.
[chuckles]
667
00:28:03,852 --> 00:28:05,103
Now, never leave me again.
668
00:28:06,646 --> 00:28:08,773
So, what was it like, Dick?
Being a chicken?
669
00:28:08,773 --> 00:28:12,235
Yeah, it's pretty much the same.
Laying eggs is a little bit painful.
670
00:28:12,235 --> 00:28:13,653
Speaking of which...
671
00:28:13,653 --> 00:28:16,615
- [moaning]
- [sighs]
672
00:28:18,533 --> 00:28:19,826
Wow.
673
00:28:19,826 --> 00:28:22,621
Dad, it looks like you might
have a grandchild after all.
674
00:28:24,039 --> 00:28:25,790
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
675
00:28:31,004 --> 00:28:34,758
{\an8}So, Turpin defeated the Reddlehag.
676
00:28:34,758 --> 00:28:35,842
Impressive.
677
00:28:36,384 --> 00:28:38,220
His legend only grows.
678
00:28:39,095 --> 00:28:40,931
Of course,
to really get to know one's opponents,
679
00:28:40,931 --> 00:28:43,016
it helps to have a spy in the camp.
680
00:28:43,642 --> 00:28:46,853
But would it have killed you
to get dressed before reporting back?
681
00:28:48,021 --> 00:28:49,481
I actually find this quite liberating.
682
00:28:50,190 --> 00:28:51,274
Hmm.
683
00:28:51,274 --> 00:28:52,901
You don't have to look at it.
684
00:28:54,444 --> 00:28:55,320
Funny, isn't it?
685
00:28:56,488 --> 00:28:58,365
What a little digging can turn up.
686
00:29:00,700 --> 00:29:03,078
{\an8}Hmm. Hello, Nell.
687
00:29:03,078 --> 00:29:05,163
{\an8}How lovely to see you again.
53019
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