All language subtitles for The Wild Wild West S01E19 The Night of the Grand Emir

There's your man, West,

the turbaned one at ringside.

How could we miss him?

Oh, how could anybody miss him?

What a target.

Look, Mr. Drapeau,

if the government
wants us to protect him,

shouldn't we get
him out of here...

Some quieter entertainment?

No chance.

He's a very important visitor.

He's free to come
and go as he chooses.

Wonderful.

Oh, it's not so bad.

He's due in the hospital
tomorrow morning.

All we've got to do is make sure

that nobody puts a
bullet in him before then.

Yeah, well, that's your problem.

And, uh, good luck, gentlemen.

Thank you.

You heard the man, Artemus,

that's our problem.

Mr. West!

And Mr. Gordon.

Well, well, well.

What are you doing here, T.?

The same thing I assume that
both you gentlemen are doing...

My job.

Meaning?

The emir, of course.

Oh, you're not going to pretend

that you're not here
to look after him.

Mmm.

Well, if you'll excuse us.

Not a chance.

You see, there must be

at least 100 expatriates
in this town alone

that would like to see
the emir eliminated.

When that happens, I'm going
to make sure that I'm on hand.

Maybe if we're lucky,
you'll stop the bullet.

Every profession
has its risks, Mr. West.

May I introduce
myself, Your Highness?

I am T. Wiggett Jones,
society feature writer.

And may I also introduce
Mr. West and Mr. Gordon,

representatives of the
United States Government?

Oh, Secret Service, huh?

You're concerned about my life.

Just being careful, sir.

Sit down, please.

Thank you, Your Highness.

Gentlemen, there have been so
many attempts to assassinate me,

I no longer concern
myself over that.

But since you're already here,
you might as well remain, hmm?

I want one.

I want one!

Hurt anything?

I don't think so.

Did you expect me to anticipate

somebody knowing
about that garter

and being prepared to catch it?

No.

You did your best.

I'm not being fair
to you, Ecstasy.

It's just that I
had such plans...

and El Emid still lives.

There'll be another time, and...

What's the meaning of this?

I'll tell you right now.

Both of you keep your hands

where I can see them.

Are you robbing us?

No, I'm arresting you.

Tell the driver to pull over.

Anything for so
handsome an intruder.

Oh, I'm sorry, my
ring scratched you.

I'll survive it.

You may... and you may not.

Who is he?

He's the one who
caught the garter.

How could he have known?

Too bad you can't ask him.

But I will... now
that he's our guest.

Mr. West...

Your vision will
improve in a moment.

Be patient.

We placed you under
restraint, Mr. West.

It seemed the best thing to do

when we discovered
your credentials.

Who are you?

Oh, forgive me.

I am Dr. Mohammed Bey.

And, while I'm
observing the amenities,

the young lady is
Miss Ecstasy La Joie.

Ecstasy.

Under other circumstances,

it would be a pleasure.

I was thinking the same thing.

But, uh, we can't have
everything, can we?

"Bey"...

I've heard of you.

You were granted
political asylum

by the United States

when you were
exiled by the emir.

Is that how you repay your debt?

You have seen Emir El Emid.

Can you imagine him

as the absolute
ruler of your country?

Sic him, Doc.

If one man dies

so that thousands...
Millions... may be healed,

in my opinion, that is
good medical practice.

I'm glad you're not my doctor.

Ah, but that's
where you're wrong.

He is your doctor.

Wait till you get his bill.

I must know how you were able

to intercept my
little gift for El Emid.

How did you know

it was an explosive device?

I didn't.

Well, then why did
you catch my garter?

I don't take chances with
lives I'm supposed to protect.

Unfortunate, isn't it?

Your personal code
is more reckless.

I don't like your
answer, Mr. West.

But we'll give you an
opportunity to revise it.

Tell me, who informed you?

This is a part of
the violent ward

of my hospital, Mr. West.

The walls are solid stone.

Sometimes it is necessary

to place the violently
disturbed in traction.

It is my great good fortune

that the enemy of my people

has been forced to
come to this country.

If it costs my life,

I cannot allow such
an opportunity to pass.

If this position proves
beneficial to your recall,

Mr. West, there will be
a guard outside the door.

He will get word to me.

We don't have to be idle while
Mr. West faces his decision.

We have a new weapon...

at which Ecstasy
must become proficient.

That's one way to do it.

Now, let me show you another.

Let's assume that statue
on the left is El Emid.

With a little work,

you will be as good a
marksman as I, Ecstasy.

I'll try.

Now, use the
statue on the right.

Hold it normally, as
you would in the dance,

then snap with the wrist so.

But you must be careful
of the cutting edge.

Aw, I'm afraid it's
too much for her.

Nonsense.

I'm sorry to be such
a disappointment

to you, Doctor.

It'll be perfectly
all right, my dear,

just practice.

Now remember, don't let go

until you will be
pointing at the statue.

Now try it.

Perhaps I can
get it across to her.

May I, please?

Now, watch me.

Is something wrong?

I was beginning to
wonder about you...

Whether you really belonged

in the Society of Assassins.

I'd have killed him myself, I...

I just didn't think it had
to be done that way.

I don't think it matters
to him anymore, do you?

All right, we've
done our work here.

Let's get out.

Guard!

Yeah?

You ready to talk?

Mr. West!

What do you think you're doing?

What I'm paid to do:

I'm protecting your life.

This is absurd!

The only way this lovely
creature could endanger my life

would be by giving
it too much pleasure.

Really, James, you
did spoil the best part

of the young lady's dance.

The best part?

You are a very naughty creature.

We only have West's word

that she meant to throw
the tambourine at you.

Yes, that's right.

If you like, you can just
think of the tambourine

as a defensive weapon.

Of course.

A creature must be
able to defend herself.

Some evil man might try
to take advantage of her.

And who could blame him?

He wouldn't live long
enough to be blamed.

Oh, really, James,

you are assuming a great deal.

Really?

She's only tried to kill the
emir twice in one evening.

Is this true?

Well, everyone has an
off night occasionally.

But this is fabulous...

In this one female
creature, so much talent.

She is not only expert
Egyptian dancer;

she also can-canner.

How precious!

You must join us
for dinner tonight,

my lovely one.

She tries to kill you and
you invite her to dinner?

Why not?

The element of risk will
add considerable spice

to our relationship.

After all, is it not the
selfsame element of danger

that's makes your
job so exciting?

Sure.

Well, in that case,
perhaps you had better stay.

I'll be back as soon
as I change clothes.

Oh, don't hurry, Mr. West.

Please, don't hurry.

You better keep an eye on her.

Oh, that's going to
be a tough assignment,

James, my boy.

It just may be
tougher than you think.

Oh, listen, I, uh,
put our luggage

in one of the
rooms down the hall.

Here's the key.

Thanks.

And now, I insist
we all drink a toast

to the charms of
this most beautiful

and talented young lady.

Does everyone have a glass?

Everyone but Mr. Gordon.

My water, please.

To Miss La Joie...

the most exciting young person

I have yet met in this country.

To Miss La Joie.

Ah...

Let go of me!

You just never give up, do you?

Take your hands off me.

I'm afraid I'll have to take
you with me, young woman...

If you don't mind.

Well, nice of you
gentlemen to happen along.

Really?

We'll take that,
if you don't mind.

Oh, of course.

There you are.

All right, get the emir.

You, bring the girl.

Artemus?

Come on, buddy.

Hey, Jim.

Hey, what are you
trying to do, drown me?

Ooh, that water's cold.

You sure about that?

Why don't you just dump
the whole ice bucket on me

while you're about it?

I was thinking about it.

What happened here?

Oh, I wish I knew.

The emir proposed
a toast to Ecstasy,

which everybody drank except me.

And Ecstasy.

Uh-huh.

After the musicians
and servants took off,

Ecstasy went after
the emir with a knife.

I stopped her.

You take care of
him, I'll look around.

I'm surprised you trust
me to look after myself.

Yes, I know the
feeling well, friend.

It should be illegal...

to feel this rotten and not have

a variety of loathsome
memories to cherish.

I agree.

No signs of anyone around...

Cooks, servants, all gone.

Frankly, gentlemen,
I'm surprised at El Emid.

I can't imagine him being guilty

of such shabby
treatment of his guests.

I hardly think

he was responsible
for the hospitality.

Trying times, gentlemen.

Oh.

Perhaps we could all
use a splash of... solace.

Uh, no, thank you,

I've just taken the pledge.

Ah...

Better.

Perhaps now I can face

the frigid blasts of
outrageous fortune.

Be toddling along

if I can be of no
further assistance.

We'll see you off, T.

Don't bother.

My carriage is
waiting, I'm sure.

Oh, no bother.

Good night, gentlemen.

I trust your luck improves
as the evening wears on.

There's only one
direction it can go.

Good night, T.

There goes either
a very bad liar

or one of the
original iron stomachs

of all time.

I agree with you, Artemus.

Any man who can
put down champagne

on a drug hangover isn't human.

How long before
the tape wears out?

Long enough for
us to get our horses

and keep Mr. T.
Wiggett Jones in sight

on his night ride
wherever it takes him.

My...

that Jones certainly
took a ride for himself,

didn't he?

We must be ten
miles outside the city.

We'd better leave
the horses here.

Right.

Hey, Jim...

what if this place is
completely legitimate?

I mean, somebody's
country home...

It could even be Jones's.

You know, I understand
he's a very wealthy man.

If it is Jones,

he's going to a lot of trouble

to ensure his privacy.

An honest citizen has
armed guards at the gate?

Ah, that is a little antisocial.

Keep your eyes open, Artemus,

I'm going over that wall.

Right.

Ecstasy.

It seems we have an intruder

coming over the north wall.

Any volunteers?

I propose we send George.

That's a marvelous idea.

Yes, how's about it, George?

Well, I'm sure you all find

the picture of poor old George

waddling and wheezing
around the grounds

in the middle of the night

highly amusing,

but, uh, sorry to
disappoint you.

These athletic kills

are not my cup of tea.

Oh, dear.

I'll go.

500 says I'll do
it in one minute.

I'll cover that.

Go.

A very wild bet...

He can't do it in a minute.

Clay's never lost a bet yet.

Clay was one of our
most capable members.

We'll send a team this time.

No.

If my suspicions are correct...

this problem requires
the entire membership.

I suggest we deploy
ourselves accordingly.

Inside?

If I'm not badly mistaken,

our intruder will
not be satisfied

until he finds out
what's going on here.

One more move,

you're going to look
just like a porcupine.

Jim!

Why didn't you present yourself

at the front gate?

Perhaps your reception, uh,
wouldn't have been so exciting,

but it would have been warm.

Uh, you may resume

your regular activities,
gentlemen, ladies.

Jim, you were magnificent.

It may interest you to know

that no one has ever
gotten this far before,

and quite a number have tried.

Let's go into my study.

Perhaps we can find a drink

to refresh the inner man

after your strenuous reception.

So calm about my being here...

Were you expecting me?

Of course.

You and Artemus would have been

a shattering disappointment

if you both failed
to suspect me.

I didn't really need
that drink, you know.

Would you like a drink?

No, thank you.

Then be seated, please.

No, thanks.

I like to keep moving.

Oh...

You fear the chair
might be a trap.

So it might be!

It does pay to be
cautious, James.

That is only one of your
many admirable qualities.

By the way, what about Artemus?

He did ride out here
with you, of course.

No, I came alone.

What kind of a host would
I be if I called you a liar?

We shall be absolutely
numb with surprise

when Artemus
makes his appearance.

Why should he?

When, after a reasonable
time, you fail to rejoin him,

won't he become... concerned?

And, James, in that context,

as difficult as you
found it to break in here,

I must warn you,

you'll find it
impossible to break out.

I'm sure I'm being watched.

All the time.

And as long as you know that,

we may as well join the others.

You shouldn't do that.

Why not?

I'm very susceptible.

I might begin to enjoy it.

I might even fall
in love with you.

Right now, I'd settle

for a warm and
understanding friendship.

Then you're playing
the wrong game

by the wrong rules.

Well, we could start over again

with a handshake.

We can't be friends.

You should know that by now.

I was afraid you'd say that.

Is there any reason

we can't make the most
out of being enemies?

Enemies forever.

Forever.

Ecstasy, my sweet, and James,

you look so splendid together

it pains me to separate
you for even a moment.

However, El Emir has arrived

and has requested you
do a dance for him, Ecstasy.

I don't mind.

If Mr. West will permit the emir

to take a chance like that.

I might, if you can
think of a dance

where her hands are empty

and visible at all times.

Come, James.

Shall we find a
better vantage point?

Remarkable young woman.

Mmm, remarkable.

Olé!

Bravo!

Olé!

Toro!

Olé!

Toro!

James, we must talk.

Hmm?

Sorry to tear you
away like this.

Olé!

I can imagine you
have some questions.

One or two.

What is all this?

A very exclusive club, James.

We number only
the finest families

among our members.

And you get together once a week

for fun and games.

We also entertain
our guests here.

Yes, indeed.

But aren't you
afraid of overdoing it?

Oh, El Emid has
truly a heroic capacity

for being entertained.

And we can't have
him becoming bored.

He might wish to leave.

He can't leave.

Is that the point?

Well, we'd prefer he didn't...

At least until we
receive a message

from our bank in Switzerland.

You mean that you're holding
the emir of the Ottoman Empire

for ransom?

Oh, no, James.

We're keeping him here
as our... honored guest.

Shall we say...

as collateral?

The most important
question remains unasked.

I'm afraid to ask.

That's not like you.

However, I shall
consider it asked.

We call this the
Assassins' Club.

I had a feeling this wasn't

the Wednesday
Afternoon Whist Society.

Charming.

Since this is an
assassins' club,

I suppose it wouldn't
be gauche of me to ask

how many people
you've assassinated lately.

Oh, not at all.

14 important
figures died tonight,

in all parts of the world.

You encountered
one of them, I believe,

Dr. Mohammed Bey.

Within a month,
they would have led

an armed revolt against El Emid.

We can't have that.

You mean you've killed
14 people in one night?

We are well organized.

How much has this
set El Emid back?

Well, nothing.

You see, El Emid
is our collateral.

For what?

Something El Emid possesses
in vast supply... desert.

140 square miles of
empty, sun-baked sand.

It sounds like too
good a bargain.

Where is this little
piece of desert

he's deeding to you?

It crosses the Isthmus of Suez.

And the Suez Canal
Company will have to buy

this wasteland from
you at your price.

It's not for sale, James.

However, we will
lease it... on our terms.

Now I get the picture... A
simple business transaction.

A little bloody...

but simple.

Please, for one moment,
balance those 14 deaths

against the slaughter that
would certainly have happened

in the wake of a revolution.

And now I understand
this celebration.

May I ask why I'm still alive?

To put it simply and directly,

you are here because...

we want you in the club.

Uh, think about it.

I don't have to.

You're being impulsive.

I ask you to think.

You regularly kill in the
service of your country.

We pay better;

the working conditions...
You had a sampling tonight.

Save it, T., I'm not interested.

Uh, allow me one
final word of reason.

Our work, the assassinations...

surely you have
the sophistication

to understand that if we
didn't provide this service,

someone else would.

You're not selling anything.

I'm sorry to hear that.

We'd looked forward

to your truly exceptional
talents working for us.

Needless to say, we...
can't allow those talents

to be employed against us.

Needless to say.

You may join the others

while we decide
what to do about you.

Oh... James,

hopefully you'll reconsider.

Oh, no, I promise.

I won't press any buttons.

Get the cage.

I trust you won't be too
uncomfortable, West.

However, Christopher
will be watching you.

One move and
he'll drop this panel.

That cuts off your air.

It also activates a deadly gas

when these two
components come together.

It may lead you to
reconsider your decision.

What are you doing here?

Look, I have orders

to shoot anyone
who enters this room.

I have orders, too.

T. decided that you might
be getting a little bored.

You might even get sleepy

with nothing to do

and no one to talk to.

Oh, really?

Well, why didn't they
send another man

in that case, hmm?

Complaints... always complaints.

Is there any reason
we can't be comfortable?

No, I'm going to find
out about this right away.

Ecstasy, what are you doing?

That should be obvious... hurry.

Jim, you're wasting time.

What should I be doing?

Getting away.

I took a big chance
coming here to help you.

Why break the rules for me?

Maybe because... I've taken
more than a passing interest in you.

T. told me that Dr. Bey
and 13 of his colleagues

were assassinated tonight.

You and your friend over there

were with the good doctor.

Did you kill him?

No, they did.

Or at least Christopher

did it for them with
his tambourine.

I couldn't stop it.

I even had to pretend I approved

so they'd think I
was one of them.

You know, the more you talk,

the more confused I become.

I don't know whose
side you're on...

Excluding, of course, your own.

Dr. Bey... was good to me...

and he was honest.

He believed the only way

to help the people
of his country

was to kill El Emir.

So you're going to
carry out what he started.

That's right.

Well, if you're determined,

I... suppose there's
nothing I can do about it.

On the other hand, there's
the distinct possibility

that we may never
see each other again.

In that event,

I think I'm entitled

to say good-bye to you properly.

Sorry, but you're
far too pretty a girl

to go around killing people.

Well, who have we here?

Hussein Bin Hocar,

grand vizier to His
Highness Emir El Emid.

I must speak with
His Highness at once.

Well, as you can see,

your prince is a bit...
tied up at the moment.

It is a matter of
state, young man.

Please, step aside.

You women, leave us alone.

Go, go, go, go, go!

What is the meaning of this?

Your Highness, I
am Artemus Gordon,

but please call me
Hussein Bin Hocar

in front of these people.

I've told them that
I'm your grand vizier.

Now, Jim West is
around here somewhere;

between the two of us,

I promise you,
we'll get you out.

Out?

Yes.

You must be crazy.

I don't want out.

Don't you understand?

This whole place is a prison.

There are armed guards
every foot of the way here.

Mr. Gordon...

if this is a prison,

please see what you can do

about getting me
a life sentence.

I like it here.

Artemus Gordon.

Of course! I should have known.

I've been expecting you,

and yet still you
slipped right past me.

Unfortunately, this
is not a costume ball

or you'd win all the prizes.

Come.

I'll take you to see James West.

Jim's all right?

Of course... what
did you expect?

I, uh...

Oh...

I must say, I'm just
a trifle surprised.

Well, I'm only so pleased

that we could all be here,

one big happy family.

Put him in there.

I told him he could
see his friend.

Where's James West?

Where is he?!

Sound the alarm...
West has escaped!

I want him brought back here!

You did this to me,
didn't you, Ecstasy?

There's no other way

he could have
gotten out of here.

Did he double-cross
you, my dear?

Or did he spurn you?

Oh, what a rotter.

Yes, you are going to
pay for that indiscretion!

You are going to
pay very, very dearly.

Get away from
that cage, T., now.

I don't think so, my friend.

You slide your gun to me,

or else she dies.

You see, once I
activate this deadly gas,

you'll never get
her out of there.

Not alive.

Well?

Pick it up.

Now...

It had to come to
this, didn't it, James?

Our moment of truth.

What we've both
really been wanting.

A test.

A test of strength...

and skill.

The skill of
hand-to-hand combat.

Do you think you're up to it?

Oh, my dear fellow...

I personally trained

my most accomplished assassins.

Jammed!

I always have to
hurt you, don't I?

T. was right...
You are a rotter.

But you're a charming one...
and you did save my life.

Well, it was only fair.

You saved mine.

I hate you, you know that?

Of course.

And I still plan
to kill the emir.

Of course.

Why does he keep
saying "of course"

in that irritating manner?

Because he thinks
you're a fraud.

What?

So do I.

It's true, Ecstasy, you
might as well admit it.

You know you've never
killed anybody in your life.

I have so.

I've killed dozens of people.

Name one.

Well, there was...

there was...

Yes?

Well, there was that
Austrian prince for one.

Oh, an Austrian prince.

That's interesting,
isn't it, Artemus?

In the business we're
in, we're usually informed

about the assassinations
of, uh, politicians,

and I don't remember an
Austrian prince being assassinated

in the last eight to ten years.

Wouldn't that be right, Artemus?

Closer to 12, I'd say.

Well, it was earlier than that.

It was in 1860, to be exact...

In March.

March of 1860.

You would have been
nine years old at the time.

I hate you.

Oh, we established
that some time ago.

Enemies forever?

Forever.