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1
00:00:03,108 --> 00:00:14,638
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
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2
00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:27,718
- No carte. Monsieur Gruber?
- No carte.
3
00:00:27,917 --> 00:00:29,208
No carte.
4
00:00:31,208 --> 00:00:32,678
Nine.
5
00:00:32,917 --> 00:00:34,801
Looks like the house
is going to be
6
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,343
6,000,000 Reichsmarks lighter
in bullion this weekend.
7
00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:56,845
Fu Manchu!
8
00:00:57,042 --> 00:00:59,839
You can't just keep yelling out
the name of the game, Pierre,
9
00:01:00,042 --> 00:01:01,251
that's not how it works.
10
00:01:01,458 --> 00:01:02,750
Fu Manchu.
11
00:01:02,958 --> 00:01:05,424
- Stop being a child!
- This game sucks. I win.
12
00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:08,505
It doesn't suck. It's made
by a very reputable plastics company.
13
00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:12,879
There isn't a bank.
14
00:01:13,708 --> 00:01:15,593
- I brought that.
- Why?
15
00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:19,845
I thought we were playing Money.
It's the only reason I agreed to this board-game bullshit.
16
00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,214
I thought you would.
17
00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:28,880
Mission o'clock, boys and girls.
18
00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:32,923
The Nazis have occupied a coastal
Moroccan city called Waheed al Quarn...
19
00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:35,840
What do the Nazis want with
a Maghreb state in North Africa?
20
00:01:36,042 --> 00:01:37,547
What's that on your shoulder, Claire?
21
00:01:37,750 --> 00:01:40,630
- Nothing.
- Spot on. Nothing. Just that.
22
00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:42,469
- Now what's on mine?
- Three stars.
23
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,504
Yes, three st...
24
00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:51,714
Yes. Two stars.
25
00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:54,803
And those stars mean I talk,
you shut your damn mouth.
26
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,674
One month ago my Allied Command
sent one of their top agents
27
00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:00,960
code-named Gruber
to Waheed Al Quarn.
28
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:02,755
He collected information
that indicates
29
00:02:02,958 --> 00:02:05,720
Hitler has taken up residence
there in the casino.
30
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,382
However, Gruber himself
has completely disappeared.
31
00:02:08,583 --> 00:02:11,759
Your mission is to get into
that casino and find Gruber,
32
00:02:11,958 --> 00:02:13,961
but above all, kill Hitler.
33
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:17,177
Well, there's the casino.
34
00:02:20,042 --> 00:02:22,258
And there's an Italian submarine
in the bay,
35
00:02:22,458 --> 00:02:24,675
probably a Gino Terrini Class.
36
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:28,218
That thing would do a good job
of keeping any unwanted visitors out.
37
00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:31,173
All looks like a bit
of a Chinese dinner to me.
38
00:02:31,375 --> 00:02:33,046
I say we call in an aerial strike,
39
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:36,379
dig out Hitler's corpse by sun-up
and have a light supper.
40
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:38,421
- I'll get on the radio to base.
- Hold on.
41
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,379
First of all
we should take out the submarine.
42
00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:43,961
We should walk in, find Hitler,
and blow his face off his head bone.
43
00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:47,094
- That's a perfectly elegant solution.
- It's called getting shit done, lady.
44
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,460
No it's called
getting people killed, you louse.
45
00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:51,089
- You wanna throw down?
- Shut up, you two.
46
00:02:51,292 --> 00:02:52,501
We take a vote, then.
47
00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:55,968
There are two choices -
Jackson's plan with the casino,
48
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,838
and Claire's with the submarine.
49
00:02:58,042 --> 00:03:00,376
- What about my plan?
- Who votes for Jackson?
50
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:06,178
Okay, now Claire's plan.
51
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:12,171
Fine, we split up and do both.
52
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:14,213
As for me...
53
00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:19,382
- It's the casino.
- All right!
54
00:03:31,875 --> 00:03:33,629
Any sign of Hitler?
55
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:41,178
No, but there is an unusual degree
of security for your average casino.
56
00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:48,595
llsa?
57
00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:51,678
It's Rommel, the Desert Fox!
58
00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:24,677
You look...
59
00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:29,049
The submarine
is awfully close to shore.
60
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:31,253
Surely we could swim out to it
quite easily.
61
00:04:31,458 --> 00:04:35,085
Hello, I am Gina,
but they call me Gypsy.
62
00:04:35,292 --> 00:04:37,840
- What are you drinking tonight?
- Oh, juice for me.
63
00:04:38,042 --> 00:04:40,258
I'll have a gin,
with a pinch of Tony Manero.
64
00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:42,959
- What's your accent, Italian?
- Romanian.
65
00:04:43,167 --> 00:04:46,841
You don't have any Jenson and Jenson
menthol coupes, do you?
66
00:04:47,042 --> 00:04:50,004
Of course we do.
Who doesn't stock menthol coupes?
67
00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,046
A packet of those, then.
68
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,170
I'll return with your drinks.
69
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:57,835
You don't smoke menthol coupes,
you're a Montalbano Classics man.
70
00:04:58,042 --> 00:05:00,969
And Gypsy isn't Romanian.
I needed to get her to say "coupe".
71
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:04,378
It's the only way to tell the difference
between an Italian and a Romanian.
72
00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:07,345
Never mind that.
The submarine just docked.
73
00:05:13,542 --> 00:05:15,379
Oh great, Italians.
74
00:05:24,208 --> 00:05:26,507
What are all these Italians
doing here?
75
00:05:26,708 --> 00:05:28,794
Once a month,
all the submarine boys come here
76
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,043
and drink themselves senseless.
77
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,965
Plus they can't seem
to get enough of Rosetta Marconi.
78
00:05:41,917 --> 00:05:43,967
Rosetta!
79
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,173
Rosetta!
80
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,585
- We need to take the sub now.
- Are you mad?
81
00:05:52,792 --> 00:05:55,044
We haven't got
a crispy wonton chance on our own.
82
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,300
- We should call in a strike.
- You heard her.
83
00:05:57,500 --> 00:06:00,215
We won't have a chance as good as this
for another month.
84
00:06:00,417 --> 00:06:02,585
- All the sailors are in here.
- I don't know about this.
85
00:06:02,792 --> 00:06:05,293
- What's the matter, Tucker, scared?
- No, it's just I think...
86
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,834
Fine, then let's move.
87
00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:19,630
You've had amnesia for two years?
88
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:37,340
All this time...
l thought you were dead.
89
00:06:37,542 --> 00:06:42,507
But I have kept you
close to my heart.
90
00:06:43,708 --> 00:06:45,509
Don't you recognise her?
91
00:06:48,292 --> 00:06:50,211
It's you.
92
00:06:54,208 --> 00:07:00,004
My love, my wife,
we are together again at last.
93
00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:05,676
My God,
llsa was married to Rommel!
94
00:07:05,875 --> 00:07:08,506
I've been married to things
a lot scarier than Nazis, my friend.
95
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:14,049
I'm the general manager, you know.
96
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,675
No one above me
other than you-know-who.
97
00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:30,130
Well, we had a bit of trouble
recently with a man up in room 219,
98
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:32,171
but we took care of that.
99
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,005
I must go, my sweet.
100
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:38,923
We'll see.
101
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,920
Don't run away now, my love.
102
00:07:48,792 --> 00:07:50,261
That's it!
103
00:07:50,458 --> 00:07:51,928
Hey!
104
00:07:57,417 --> 00:07:58,459
So...
105
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,673
I'll put him out for an hour.
106
00:08:32,208 --> 00:08:35,717
All right, I'll deploy the smoke grenades,
and you're going to have to fight.
107
00:08:37,542 --> 00:08:39,959
Oh great, Italians.
108
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,589
Jump, damn it!
109
00:08:41,958 --> 00:08:43,380
I can't swim.
110
00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:44,970
What?
111
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:05,423
Room service.
112
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:10,507
- I'm sorry, I didn't order any...
- But I insist. I insist.
113
00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:14,927
- Really, now is not the best time.
- Please, you will enjoy.
114
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:17,922
Red wine?
115
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,926
With chicken?
116
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:21,630
Burn in hell, you dog!
117
00:09:27,417 --> 00:09:29,918
Your brother died like a dog, Jinko.
118
00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:33,254
But you at least
have the strength to die with honour.
119
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:37,677
And it is an honour
to die by your hand, Sharif.
120
00:09:37,875 --> 00:09:39,167
Ughh...
121
00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:43,796
One part gin,
one part pomegranate syrup,
122
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:49,168
fill with pineapple juice,
serve over crushed ice.
123
00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:52,966
The perfect Fruit'n'Khamun.
124
00:10:00,792 --> 00:10:03,470
No, thanks.
I brought my own.
125
00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:49,549
Where is your friend?
Ran off, did he?
126
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,753
- How about a drink?
- Gin.
127
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:54,175
- With what?
- Just gin.
128
00:10:55,208 --> 00:10:56,418
Okay...
129
00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:00,756
Ah...
130
00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:02,713
Gypsy, you whore!
131
00:11:02,958 --> 00:11:05,293
What?
That was quick, she's over there.
132
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:08,001
Tell me, Gypsy, do you call
these drugs you sell "pure"?
133
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:10,970
I get it from my man Colonel Chang
and his stuff is always pure.
134
00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:14,011
And do you sell me a great big
bullshit horse with this story?
135
00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:16,716
- Tough luck. Non-refundable.
- Non-refundable?
136
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:19,050
Good thing for you
I don't want no refund.
137
00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:22,545
I'm gonna get my money's worth
and I'm going to get it right now.
138
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:44,835
Can I have my gin now, please?
139
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,339
Pair of ladies.
140
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:06,963
Zat was very amusing,
but I hope these vimsical tricks
141
00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:11,125
play no part
in your impressive vinnings, Mr...
142
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:13,632
Baccarat, John Baccarat.
143
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,417
I save the tricks
for the ladies, Mr...
144
00:12:16,625 --> 00:12:19,671
Rommel, Erwin Rommel.
145
00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:21,795
Mr Rimmel. Yeah, right.
146
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,126
No, it's...
147
00:12:25,917 --> 00:12:30,053
Sveetness, come and have a game.
148
00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:35,798
Ah, Mr Baccarat.
149
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,544
May I introduce you
to my wife, llsa?
150
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,593
I'm sure you von't mind
if she joins.
151
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:49,714
- I vager a banco of 3000.
- 3000 for banco.
152
00:12:49,917 --> 00:12:51,007
Banco.
153
00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:57,834
- No carte.
- No carte.
154
00:12:58,042 --> 00:12:59,630
- Carte.
- Carte.
155
00:13:01,708 --> 00:13:02,965
Eight.
156
00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:05,715
Nine, bad luck.
157
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:11,092
You seem to have
quite ze touch, Mr Baccarat.
158
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:15,677
Vould you be interested in
a private game... at ze owner's table?
159
00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:19,715
- You gonna bring the legs?
- Well... of course.
160
00:13:19,917 --> 00:13:21,671
Then that sounds just dandy.
Thanks, Ed.
161
00:13:21,875 --> 00:13:23,048
Schplendid.
162
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:26,011
I shall send somevone
for you in an hour.
163
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:29,633
As for now,
I have business to attend to.
164
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:33,169
Keep having fun, my love.
165
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:49,719
Your friend,
he's in the submarine, I know.
166
00:13:49,917 --> 00:13:53,259
- It's my fault.
- Not entirely.
167
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,461
I want to help you get him back.
168
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,919
Thanks,
but I don't think you can.
169
00:13:59,042 --> 00:14:01,720
Hey, what are they delivering,
ammunition?
170
00:14:01,917 --> 00:14:03,505
Coffee beans.
171
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:07,133
They drink so much of the stuff
they need a new crate every hour.
172
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:09,502
My brother Gino,
he flies the plane.
173
00:14:14,125 --> 00:14:15,677
Caffè, caffè, caffè!
174
00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:27,250
For the love of God,
don't give me any more coffee!
175
00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:13,918
Crotch.
176
00:15:14,542 --> 00:15:15,466
Crotch.
177
00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:17,670
Crotch.
Well done, my Fuehrer.
178
00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:34,508
In theory, my Fuehrer, yes,
they are ready to go.
179
00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:37,802
However there is a small issue
with the auto-fire mode.
180
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:42,302
The guns tend to heat up
when fired at full automatic.
181
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,420
Three of my men
have been badly burnt.
182
00:15:44,625 --> 00:15:48,844
I propose we trial some different kinds
of ammunition, and perhaps...
183
00:16:01,792 --> 00:16:03,711
My Fuehrer,
his name is John Baccarat.
184
00:16:03,917 --> 00:16:07,295
He's been having a tremendous
amount of luck on ze gaming floor.
185
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,178
I think it's time
we gave him a private game.
186
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,211
My Fuehrer, since we have
such a large quantity of gold,
187
00:16:18,417 --> 00:16:20,751
I was thinking maybe we could...
188
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,048
Maybe I thought you were
so wound up playing lover girl
189
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:45,134
that you'd forget
we're trying to kill Hitler.
190
00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:48,711
Thanks for filling us in on the whole
"married to a Nazi" thing by the way.
191
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,626
Why not screw him
and get it over with?
192
00:16:58,125 --> 00:16:59,844
Greetings.
193
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:03,044
Can I have some of that
Chocolate Monday, Jackson?
194
00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:05,467
- Knock yourself out.
- Much obliged.
195
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,129
What is the commotion about?
196
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:15,717
You're John Baccarat?
Oh my.
197
00:17:15,917 --> 00:17:20,586
- You are aware Hitler plans to kill you in a private card game, yes?
- Not if I kill him first.
198
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:35,171
Friends, please.
Look at this on the sunny side.
199
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:39,084
Both of you will be in the same room
as Hitler in less than an hour.
200
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:42,882
This is our chance.
I'm going to call Claire.
201
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,418
- Yes?
- Claire, how's things, my friend?
202
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:56,172
- Capital.
- Superb.
203
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:59,586
It seems Hitler is using
the bullion winnings from his casino
204
00:17:59,792 --> 00:18:02,008
to rearm the entire German army
205
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:05,338
with superior golden super weapons
made of gold.
206
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:08,635
- All right.
- Hitler also seems to be killing off any successful gamblers
207
00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:11,132
with some sort
of private death game.
208
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:14,711
Oh yes, and Jackson seems to have
been invited to one of these...
209
00:18:14,917 --> 00:18:16,469
private games.
210
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:18,883
You got the submarine
under control?
211
00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:21,501
Can you stop the shipment?
Can I speak to Tucker?
212
00:18:21,708 --> 00:18:23,260
Ah... he's in the gents.
213
00:18:23,458 --> 00:18:26,006
The submarine should be
neutralised any minute now.
214
00:18:26,208 --> 00:18:29,835
Excellent. We are going to try and
turn Hitler's game around on him.
215
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:32,294
The game starts in half an hour.
216
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:36,506
Send us a signal when the bay is under
control and the reinforcements are here.
217
00:18:36,708 --> 00:18:39,553
- Good luck, my friend.
- Same to you.
218
00:18:52,958 --> 00:18:54,084
Much obliged.
219
00:18:57,417 --> 00:18:58,803
Two thousand.
220
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:03,969
- Banco.
- Banco.
221
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:36,709
Ciao, boys!
222
00:19:54,833 --> 00:19:56,043
Damn it!
223
00:19:56,792 --> 00:19:59,174
Three.
Game, Fuehrer.
224
00:20:03,917 --> 00:20:05,386
- Suivi.
- Suivi?
225
00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:07,095
- Banco.
- Banco.
226
00:20:07,292 --> 00:20:08,880
- Carte.
- Carte.
227
00:20:28,042 --> 00:20:29,547
Nine.
228
00:20:33,917 --> 00:20:34,924
Yep.
229
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,761
The Nazis are shipping speedboats
full of weapons out of the bay.
230
00:20:55,958 --> 00:20:57,049
Right.
231
00:20:57,250 --> 00:21:00,296
You keep distracting the Italians.
I'll see what I can do.
232
00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:04,501
Oh, yes.
I am sorry about all this.
233
00:21:04,708 --> 00:21:06,214
Forget about it.
234
00:21:39,708 --> 00:21:42,091
Drop it, Rommel,
or Pierre is gonna ice Adolf.
235
00:21:42,292 --> 00:21:45,385
- He's got a pretty clear shot.
- So do I.
236
00:21:45,583 --> 00:21:49,293
llsa, have you been in cahoots
with this Baccarat character all along?
237
00:21:50,792 --> 00:21:53,209
I'm bangin' her, Rommel.
238
00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:55,799
How could you do this to me?
239
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,299
I'm bangin' her Rommel.
240
00:21:58,500 --> 00:21:59,709
I'm bangin' her, Rommel.
241
00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,718
Damn it, they're gone.
242
00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:18,500
Looks like Claire and Tucker
sent in the cavalry.
243
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:30,969
I don't think you can make banco
this time, Adolf.
244
00:22:31,167 --> 00:22:33,252
Banco.
245
00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:38,129
Okay, boys, shoot these Nazis.
246
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:44,170
Who needs a gun
when you've got... imagination?
247
00:22:49,250 --> 00:22:50,542
Bang!
248
00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:32,919
I am the King of Waheed Al Quarn.
249
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:35,258
Thank you, thank you
for liberating our city!
250
00:23:35,458 --> 00:23:39,760
Don't mention it.
What will you do with all that gold?
251
00:23:39,958 --> 00:23:43,549
We shall use it to restore
Waheed Al Quarn to its former glory
252
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:46,298
as the best brothel in North Africa!
253
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,334
What is that
immensely shiny object?
254
00:24:00,833 --> 00:24:04,258
Lieutenant, what do you think
that ruddy great shiny thing is?
255
00:24:04,458 --> 00:24:07,090
I think
it's an ordinance beacon, sir.
256
00:24:08,292 --> 00:24:10,295
Shell it, then, I suppose.
257
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:11,460
Jones.
258
00:24:42,708 --> 00:24:44,758
The Mazzarucci Shaveissimo.
259
00:24:44,958 --> 00:24:49,011
Finally, you can be the one
who always has time to look good.
260
00:24:49,208 --> 00:24:53,427
Mazzarucci Shaveissimo,
re-define your face.
261
00:24:54,397 --> 00:25:05,926
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262
00:25:33,875 --> 00:25:36,636
Everybody put your trousers on,
orders are in.
263
00:25:36,833 --> 00:25:40,424
Over the last several days,
Allied forces across Europe
264
00:25:40,625 --> 00:25:41,917
have been defecting to the Nazis.
265
00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:45,468
Field Marshall Jenkins' entire platoon
has recently gone Nazi
266
00:25:45,667 --> 00:25:48,298
and Jenkins has a whole lot
of classified information in his head
267
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:50,468
we don't want the Nazis
to get their hands on.
268
00:25:50,667 --> 00:25:53,843
Your mission is to get Jenkins
back onto home soil,
269
00:25:54,042 --> 00:25:57,550
find out what's making our men
defect to the Nazis, and kill Hitler!
21068
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