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1
00:00:02,743 --> 00:00:14,272
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru
2
00:00:48,997 --> 00:00:50,123
Ah...
3
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:12,921
As he lay there, dying in my arms,
4
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,083
he looked into my eyes and said
5
00:01:16,288 --> 00:01:19,548
"Pierre, why was it that I had to
dress like this again?"
6
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:22,164
Hah! Your move Maneki.
7
00:01:25,663 --> 00:01:26,789
Again?
8
00:01:29,205 --> 00:01:31,006
Very well.
9
00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:37,589
And then he whispered to me
with his last breath
10
00:01:37,788 --> 00:01:41,581
"Pierre, always muddle the lime."
11
00:01:42,705 --> 00:01:45,004
But now I carry on his legacy...
12
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:49,543
the perfect Cherry Mendez.
13
00:01:53,038 --> 00:01:54,046
Naturally.
14
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:58,123
He also taught me to make the
world's quickest Bangkok Sunrise.
15
00:01:58,330 --> 00:02:01,708
- Tucker, how is that Vodka Marconi?
- Satisfactory.
16
00:02:06,413 --> 00:02:07,670
How about now?
17
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:11,955
Above satisfactory.
18
00:02:12,163 --> 00:02:14,083
- Your double Jim Bourbons, Jackson?
- Swell.
19
00:02:14,288 --> 00:02:18,425
Claire, are you certain
I cannot make you something?
20
00:02:18,622 --> 00:02:20,790
- It's 9 in the morning.
- Yes?
21
00:02:20,997 --> 00:02:23,249
You see no issue with drinking
at 9 a.m.?
22
00:02:23,455 --> 00:02:26,170
Hey Claire, chill out.
23
00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:31,170
Ugh.
24
00:02:32,622 --> 00:02:35,300
Good morning boys and girls,
we have orders.
25
00:02:35,497 --> 00:02:37,464
Good day Colonel,
can I mix you something?
26
00:02:37,663 --> 00:02:41,752
Yes, I'll have a... er...
a Bangkok Sunrise, yes.
27
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,752
All right, everybody,
at 0800 hours this morning
28
00:02:46,955 --> 00:02:48,590
the Nazis stole the Eiffel Tower.
29
00:02:48,788 --> 00:02:50,756
The Eiffel Tower?
Surely the Nazis have...
30
00:02:50,955 --> 00:02:54,333
Shut up girl! We believe
this could be the very beginning
31
00:02:54,538 --> 00:02:56,506
of the largest piece
of Nazi propaganda
32
00:02:56,705 --> 00:03:00,165
ever executed by Hitler's
propaganda wizard, Josef Goebbels.
33
00:03:00,372 --> 00:03:03,216
It's safe to assume Goebbels has
similar plans for other monuments.
34
00:03:03,413 --> 00:03:05,914
I think we can all agree,
a world without monuments
35
00:03:06,122 --> 00:03:07,757
is not worth living in.
36
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:11,049
Your mission: learn what the hell
the Nazis want with the tower,
37
00:03:11,247 --> 00:03:12,965
where they're taking it,
get it back.
38
00:03:13,163 --> 00:03:15,747
And of course, as always,
kill Hitler.
39
00:03:23,205 --> 00:03:26,251
Looks like the loss of the tower
has hit them quite hard,
40
00:03:26,455 --> 00:03:28,007
we must be sensitive.
41
00:03:28,622 --> 00:03:29,664
Greetings, barkeep!
42
00:03:30,663 --> 00:03:32,998
Three Marconis
and a Summer in Paris, please.
43
00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:46,258
- Rene!
- Marcel?
44
00:03:46,455 --> 00:03:48,956
- Son of a bitch!
- Son of a whore!
45
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:54,837
Marcel, I thought you bought it when
we blew that bridge in Provence.
46
00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:58,298
Sometimes I wish I did, old friend,
sometimes I wish I did.
47
00:03:58,497 --> 00:03:59,539
Marcel?
48
00:03:59,747 --> 00:04:01,750
Tell me you've come
to return the tower.
49
00:04:01,955 --> 00:04:05,049
- It is as you say, my friend.
- Girls, we are saved.
50
00:04:05,247 --> 00:04:08,340
The great Marcel DeRochel
has come to help return the tower!
51
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:15,041
All of these fine girls
are members of my battalion.
52
00:04:15,247 --> 00:04:18,707
Each a true revolutionary.
Good front, no?
53
00:04:19,747 --> 00:04:21,714
Yes, they are...
54
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,714
Celeste?
55
00:04:28,747 --> 00:04:30,501
Bonjour, Marcel.
56
00:04:33,622 --> 00:04:35,707
So, how have you been?
57
00:04:35,913 --> 00:04:37,798
- I thought you were dead.
- I'm not!
58
00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:41,840
- Don't ever leave me again!
- I burn for you! Rrrr.
59
00:04:44,288 --> 00:04:46,836
Four of my offensives have been
sabotaged this last month,
60
00:04:47,038 --> 00:04:51,257
and I am beginning to suspect...
an insider.
61
00:04:51,455 --> 00:04:53,505
Amongst your girls?
62
00:05:08,122 --> 00:05:10,006
Forget me. Save yourself!
63
00:05:10,205 --> 00:05:11,331
Celeste!
64
00:05:26,205 --> 00:05:30,294
If this is the end of the line,
couldn't you grant us one last drink?
65
00:05:31,955 --> 00:05:33,923
We will pay for it.
66
00:05:34,663 --> 00:05:38,337
Inside that safe is gold,
and frankincense
67
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:41,300
and myrrh of very high quality.
68
00:05:41,497 --> 00:05:45,585
If you let us have one last drink,
I will give you the combination.
69
00:06:03,372 --> 00:06:04,841
Very well.
70
00:06:05,705 --> 00:06:07,091
Two, nine...
71
00:06:07,288 --> 00:06:12,456
three, nine, four, nine... two.
72
00:06:13,747 --> 00:06:15,963
Bonjour.
73
00:06:24,288 --> 00:06:28,164
Ah Marcel! I can't remember the last
time we pulled the old life-saving...
74
00:06:32,955 --> 00:06:35,088
Oh, I'm sorry, old friend.
75
00:06:35,288 --> 00:06:37,836
Shh! You must rest.
You'll be better in the morning.
76
00:06:38,038 --> 00:06:41,214
No. No, Marcel,
I'm not long of this world.
77
00:06:41,413 --> 00:06:43,961
Please, do one thing for me.
78
00:06:44,163 --> 00:06:45,336
Anything, my friend.
79
00:06:46,622 --> 00:06:47,961
Get my ladies back.
80
00:06:48,163 --> 00:06:51,375
They have no doubt been taken to
the nearest outpost, by the river.
81
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:54,258
Where we used to take the girls
on Bastille...
82
00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:57,170
- You remember it, my friend?
- I cherish those days.
83
00:06:57,872 --> 00:06:58,879
Good.
84
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:03,169
Two parts grenadine,
one part chartreuse,
85
00:07:03,372 --> 00:07:05,540
a pinch of salt...
and... a fresh mint...
86
00:07:06,372 --> 00:07:08,457
the perfect Fruit Madrid.
87
00:07:40,038 --> 00:07:42,504
These are the latest group
of detainees, mein Fuhrer.
88
00:07:42,705 --> 00:07:44,543
I hope they are to your liking.
89
00:07:57,247 --> 00:08:00,091
They all pale into insignificance
when you really look at this one.
90
00:08:06,038 --> 00:08:07,876
Isn't the irony sweet?
The Resistance
91
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,498
doing a performance
at the Führer's birthday.
92
00:08:19,663 --> 00:08:20,836
Argh!
93
00:08:30,372 --> 00:08:31,960
Hold up.
94
00:08:37,288 --> 00:08:40,583
Good evening,
sir, which mode do you require?
95
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:43,882
Sexy bitch.
Sexy bitch mode activated.
96
00:08:46,705 --> 00:08:48,294
Oh!
97
00:09:15,747 --> 00:09:17,631
Great work! Cut me loose.
98
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:22,923
What?
Stop messing around and free me!
99
00:09:28,913 --> 00:09:33,797
Don't tell me that you're jealous
that Hitler finds me attractive!
100
00:09:58,247 --> 00:09:59,420
Mm?
101
00:10:36,372 --> 00:10:39,133
The girls are bound to be locked up
around here somewhere.
102
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:41,380
- Hey...
- Halt!
103
00:10:51,497 --> 00:10:53,464
Celeste?
104
00:10:53,663 --> 00:10:54,873
Claire!
105
00:11:54,538 --> 00:11:56,624
- We can jump it.
- No, we can't.
106
00:11:56,830 --> 00:11:59,047
What the hell happened back there,
llsa?
107
00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:10,131
That's the Statue of Liberty!
108
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,168
That's what they want
with the monuments?
109
00:12:12,372 --> 00:12:15,797
Don't look at it!
You'll go blind with sorrow!
110
00:12:21,372 --> 00:12:23,457
- Dance at Hitler's birthday!?
- No way in hell
111
00:12:23,663 --> 00:12:25,666
I'm gonna run around France
chasing tail
112
00:12:25,872 --> 00:12:27,756
when Lady Liberty herself
is in danger.
113
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,633
Girls are heading for
the middle of a Nazi minestrone.
114
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:33,591
They need our help.
We need to tail that truck!
115
00:12:33,788 --> 00:12:36,254
- The team takes priority!
- Not in my book.
116
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:38,505
I'm with Tucker on this one,
my friend.
117
00:12:38,705 --> 00:12:40,091
Celeste,
118
00:12:40,288 --> 00:12:42,338
and our comrades, need us.
119
00:12:43,205 --> 00:12:45,623
Guess that leaves you and me llsa.
Fighting for freedom.
120
00:12:49,372 --> 00:12:50,711
Mm...
121
00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:03,756
Fine, I'm going to do what's right.
122
00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:05,507
Traitor.
123
00:13:06,788 --> 00:13:09,087
You're the traitor, Pedro.
124
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,840
Get me a new technical director!
125
00:13:41,622 --> 00:13:43,541
Who are you?
126
00:13:43,747 --> 00:13:47,670
John Schmidt,
the new technical director.
127
00:13:49,622 --> 00:13:51,174
What is this?
128
00:13:53,663 --> 00:13:56,247
Women don't talk.
129
00:13:57,997 --> 00:14:01,754
These are the special costumes
for the finale.
130
00:14:01,955 --> 00:14:06,956
They are guaranteed, to...
blow the Führer away.
131
00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:11,214
Not before I have inspected the...
132
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:14,091
Excuse me Herr Goebbels,
the guards' new celebration outfits
133
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:16,256
have arrived for your approval.
134
00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:21,626
You'd better not mess up...
Schmidt.
135
00:14:22,997 --> 00:14:26,457
- Celeste, are you all right, my love?
- I knew you would come.
136
00:14:26,663 --> 00:14:29,378
You'll get us killed. What happened
to the mission? Where's Jackson?
137
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:32,709
It seemed you'd landed yourselves in
a Wednesday casserole of a situation.
138
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,130
- We're here to get you out.
- Get us out?
139
00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:37,214
We have everything under control,
Tucker.
140
00:14:37,413 --> 00:14:39,582
I have an after dinner appointment
with Hitler tomorrow night.
141
00:14:39,788 --> 00:14:42,834
- The perfect chance to kill him.
- We're thinking bigger than Hitler.
142
00:14:43,038 --> 00:14:46,250
Soon this place is going to be
jam-packed with Nazi top brass
143
00:14:46,455 --> 00:14:49,584
and we're going to put on
the best darn dance performance
144
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:51,626
the Third Reich has ever seen.
145
00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:54,545
Then, when they are fired up
and ready for an encore,
146
00:14:54,747 --> 00:14:58,041
we'll give them an encore,
an encore of bullets.
147
00:14:58,247 --> 00:15:01,755
The crate is jam-packed
with resistance-grade bang-bang.
148
00:15:01,955 --> 00:15:05,049
Now that, my dear, is a real plan.
149
00:15:05,247 --> 00:15:06,586
This doesn't look
like rehearsal.
150
00:15:06,788 --> 00:15:09,550
We are talking about
the art of dance.
151
00:15:09,747 --> 00:15:12,591
What do these special costumes
look like?
152
00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:13,998
Special.
153
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,208
I would like
to see one of them.
154
00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:19,045
- Why ruin the surprise?
- Crowbar!
155
00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:35,705
Oh.. argh.
156
00:15:39,997 --> 00:15:45,046
Good, the Führer likes swans.
157
00:15:46,247 --> 00:15:49,506
Terrific plan.
158
00:15:58,622 --> 00:16:00,921
- Fire.
- Fire! Fire!
159
00:16:09,288 --> 00:16:12,418
Say, are they those military issue
cigarettes,
160
00:16:12,622 --> 00:16:15,632
the kind that coat your lungs
in thick menthol,
161
00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:18,757
making you impervious to gas?
162
00:16:18,955 --> 00:16:19,998
Yeah.
163
00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:22,255
Why didn't I get any?
164
00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:29,420
Don't worry, Lady Liberty.
I've got your back.
165
00:16:55,497 --> 00:16:59,834
Your Kronsteen, mein Führer,
medium sweet just as you like it.
166
00:17:05,497 --> 00:17:07,168
Thank you mein F...
167
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:13,424
Will you excuse me a moment,
mein Führer?
168
00:17:21,830 --> 00:17:23,631
Heil Hitler!
169
00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:24,837
Heil Hitler!
170
00:17:28,497 --> 00:17:31,922
Hurry up, we don't have much time.
Radio the Resistance for more guns.
171
00:17:32,122 --> 00:17:33,295
Right.
172
00:17:44,205 --> 00:17:46,255
I don't understand how
they swapped those crates,
173
00:17:46,455 --> 00:17:49,086
we loaded those guns ourselves.
174
00:17:50,705 --> 00:17:53,799
Celeste...
What are you doing, my love?
175
00:17:53,997 --> 00:17:57,043
- Be quiet.
- You're the insider Rene was on to.
176
00:17:57,247 --> 00:18:01,123
You did it all, the raid at the bar,
the guns... How?
177
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,380
I had the box changed
when you arrived.
178
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:05,548
The guns are still in the cargo bay.
179
00:18:05,747 --> 00:18:07,548
- Then Goebbels knows?
- No!
180
00:18:07,747 --> 00:18:10,330
He still thinks
we're just Resistance tramps.
181
00:18:10,538 --> 00:18:14,461
I was waiting for the big finale to
hand all of your heads on a platter
182
00:18:14,663 --> 00:18:16,666
to Hitler, as a birthday present.
183
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:19,788
Oh, don't you cry! You!
184
00:18:19,997 --> 00:18:23,007
Who lets me go on for two years
thinking you are dead!
185
00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:25,208
Making me doubt everything
I've ever stood for.
186
00:18:25,413 --> 00:18:27,582
You made me do this, Marcel!
187
00:18:27,788 --> 00:18:29,922
If that is your real name.
188
00:18:30,122 --> 00:18:32,919
Now it's time for you to pay.
189
00:18:35,872 --> 00:18:37,673
Will you stop this childish banter?
190
00:18:47,247 --> 00:18:50,257
- Get out of my way!
- Mm?
191
00:18:50,455 --> 00:18:52,256
What are you doing here anyway?
192
00:18:58,747 --> 00:19:01,378
- What's going on?
- This little mouse is actually a rat.
193
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:02,966
Drop the gun.
194
00:19:03,163 --> 00:19:04,918
No.
195
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,462
Two parts dark rum,
196
00:19:17,622 --> 00:19:22,208
crushed ginger,
fill with orange soda...
197
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:27,049
the perfect... Heil Hitler.
198
00:19:28,163 --> 00:19:31,375
Good work, Pierre.
One less traitor in the world.
199
00:20:08,413 --> 00:20:13,581
That was Patriotic Dog,
ladies and gentlemen,
200
00:20:13,788 --> 00:20:16,171
a tough act to follow.
201
00:20:16,372 --> 00:20:19,299
And now, if I may have all
of your attention, please.
202
00:20:19,497 --> 00:20:23,420
As you all know, tonight we are here
to celebrate the birthday
203
00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:25,044
of our majestic leader.
204
00:20:28,788 --> 00:20:30,589
In the recent days, mein Führer,
205
00:20:30,788 --> 00:20:34,747
I have been preparing
the ultimate birthday surprise.
206
00:20:35,288 --> 00:20:38,500
If you would all care to turn
to the window on your right.
207
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:43,291
I present to you, the Führer.
208
00:21:09,997 --> 00:21:13,540
And now a light supper
before the grand finale.
209
00:21:23,663 --> 00:21:26,626
Ah, my Führer, did you enjoy
your birthday surprise?
210
00:21:31,872 --> 00:21:35,083
But you'll miss the... performance.
211
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,588
I'll get the weapons
from the cargo bay, you lot will...
212
00:21:40,788 --> 00:21:43,633
Pierre, pull yourself together!
You lot will...
213
00:21:43,830 --> 00:21:45,252
Attention!
214
00:21:45,997 --> 00:21:49,505
Hey! What are you doing?
I need her... for the performance.
215
00:21:49,705 --> 00:21:52,916
The Führer requests her company.
Now!
216
00:22:15,872 --> 00:22:20,873
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
for the grand finale performance...
217
00:22:22,497 --> 00:22:27,546
The Rise of The Great
Germanic Swan.
218
00:23:11,788 --> 00:23:13,589
Happy birthday, mien Führer.
219
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,041
- You!
- Claire?
220
00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:38,961
You idiot! I had him!
221
00:23:39,163 --> 00:23:41,048
Hey...
222
00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:57,258
Wait, I...
223
00:24:18,330 --> 00:24:21,506
So, Hitler is still alive, I see.
224
00:24:21,705 --> 00:24:24,916
This war would be over if it weren't
for Sergeant Screw-Up over here.
225
00:24:25,122 --> 00:24:27,587
- You were in my line of fire!
- Nice work, patriot.
226
00:24:28,330 --> 00:24:29,337
Oh, quiet you!
227
00:24:29,538 --> 00:24:32,881
- Don't talk to her like that!
- I'll speak to her however I please!
228
00:24:54,163 --> 00:24:55,455
You know what?
229
00:24:55,663 --> 00:24:57,666
The world doesn't
need national monuments
230
00:24:57,872 --> 00:24:59,875
to remind people
why they shouldn't kill themselves,
231
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,956
because there's something else
I know that does a much better job.
232
00:25:04,163 --> 00:25:07,008
There's plenty of it,
everyone can share it
233
00:25:07,205 --> 00:25:11,211
and it starts with the letter L.
You know what I mean.
234
00:25:11,413 --> 00:25:14,091
- Tucker, shut up.
- Yes, very well.
235
00:25:15,788 --> 00:25:17,838
Are you looking
to make new friends?
236
00:25:18,372 --> 00:25:21,371
Don't look
past Muchacho breath mints.
237
00:25:21,372 --> 00:25:24,880
Muchacho, a new best friend,
for your mouth.
238
00:25:26,060 --> 00:25:37,589
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
Exclusive for http://UKsubtitles.ru
239
00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:05,832
All right, let's get straight
to the biscuits.
240
00:26:06,038 --> 00:26:08,290
At 0800 hours this morning
241
00:26:08,497 --> 00:26:11,875
an American soldier
was eaten by a Nazi dinosaur.
242
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,841
Now, Nazi dinosaurs are popping up
all over Europe.
243
00:26:15,038 --> 00:26:18,416
Your mission: find out where Hitler
is getting these things from
244
00:26:18,622 --> 00:26:21,881
and put a stop to it.
Oh yes, and of course, kill Hitler.
19023
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