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1
00:00:35,483 --> 00:00:38,451
Are you sure you don't want to
get that lobster cocktail thingy?
2
00:00:38,519 --> 00:00:40,453
I already ordered
the clam chowder.
3
00:00:40,521 --> 00:00:42,055
So get both.
4
00:00:42,122 --> 00:00:44,558
I told you, in honor of
my first paycheck in months,
5
00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:47,761
I am treating, and I expect you
to do some damage.
6
00:00:47,829 --> 00:00:51,497
You do realize you're poking
a hornet's nest here?
7
00:00:51,565 --> 00:00:53,617
I do. But we are
celebrating.
8
00:00:53,684 --> 00:00:55,118
And listen to this.
9
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:56,620
If you behave,
10
00:00:56,687 --> 00:00:59,289
I will take you to that
stupid Chris Tucker movie
11
00:00:59,356 --> 00:01:00,724
where he plays
a big baby.
12
00:01:00,792 --> 00:01:02,592
Little homey?
13
00:01:02,659 --> 00:01:03,977
Mm-hmm.
14
00:01:04,045 --> 00:01:06,479
Wait a second. Just
'cause you're taking me out
15
00:01:06,547 --> 00:01:07,914
for a fancy
night on the town
16
00:01:07,982 --> 00:01:09,215
you do realize
17
00:01:09,283 --> 00:01:11,484
that doesn't automatically
mean you get the, uh...
18
00:01:11,552 --> 00:01:13,853
Shma-Booty.
19
00:01:13,921 --> 00:01:16,406
Now, listen.
You can either give it to me
20
00:01:16,474 --> 00:01:18,174
or I can take it.
It's your choice.
21
00:01:18,242 --> 00:01:19,158
Here we go.
22
00:01:19,226 --> 00:01:20,243
Thank you.
23
00:01:20,311 --> 00:01:21,577
Careful. Bowl's hot.
24
00:01:21,645 --> 00:01:23,513
Ok. Um, guy.
25
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:24,514
Yeah?
26
00:01:24,581 --> 00:01:25,982
Do you have any
of those, uh,
27
00:01:26,050 --> 00:01:28,668
crackers that are shaped
like little baby oysters?
28
00:01:31,172 --> 00:01:32,072
Uh, guy.
29
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:33,272
Yeah?
30
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:35,675
Uh, it's a pretty big bowl.
31
00:01:43,984 --> 00:01:45,752
Oh...
32
00:01:45,819 --> 00:01:47,521
There's one of the girls
I work with.
33
00:01:47,588 --> 00:01:48,805
Emily. Emily.
34
00:01:48,872 --> 00:01:51,024
Oh, hey, Carrie.
35
00:01:51,092 --> 00:01:52,225
Hi!
Hi!
36
00:01:52,292 --> 00:01:54,261
Uh, Emily,
this is my husband Doug.
37
00:01:54,328 --> 00:01:56,462
And that's Emily. We work
on the 40th floor together.
38
00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:57,563
Hi. How you doin'?
39
00:01:57,631 --> 00:01:59,065
Oh, and this is
my husband Peter.
40
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:00,133
How do you do?
Hi Peter.
41
00:02:00,201 --> 00:02:01,634
Carrie works for
Mr. douchet.
42
00:02:01,702 --> 00:02:02,936
Oh. How's that
going?
43
00:02:03,004 --> 00:02:04,137
It's going good.
It's going good.
44
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:06,656
Although I wish he would
ease up on the cologne a little.
45
00:02:06,724 --> 00:02:08,441
Yeah, it is
kind of strong.
46
00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:10,226
Kind of?
You know, the other day
47
00:02:10,294 --> 00:02:12,562
I saw a fly
land on his shoulder,
48
00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:15,599
2 seconds later... dead.
49
00:02:16,434 --> 00:02:17,918
Hey, why don't you guys
join us?
50
00:02:17,985 --> 00:02:19,419
We just got
a nice big table.
51
00:02:19,486 --> 00:02:20,821
Oh, actually,
we just got our food-
52
00:02:20,888 --> 00:02:22,238
yeah, that's be great.
Let me just grab this.
53
00:02:22,306 --> 00:02:24,140
No.
Uh-huh, great, ok?
54
00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:33,766
Whoa, whoa!
Guy, what are you doing?
55
00:02:33,834 --> 00:02:35,101
What?
56
00:02:35,169 --> 00:02:36,769
You're taking
all the cheese.
57
00:02:36,837 --> 00:02:38,805
It came up with the chip.
58
00:02:38,872 --> 00:02:40,773
Yeah, 'cause you grabbed
the nucleus.
59
00:02:40,841 --> 00:02:42,442
What?
60
00:02:42,509 --> 00:02:45,478
Every pile of nachos
has one main chip
61
00:02:45,546 --> 00:02:47,597
that holds the whole thing
together-the nucleus.
62
00:02:47,665 --> 00:02:50,066
You don't take the nucleus.
You work around it.
63
00:02:50,134 --> 00:02:52,101
You honor it.
64
00:02:52,169 --> 00:02:54,437
That's nachos 101,
man.
65
00:02:54,505 --> 00:02:57,708
Can I eat this or is someone
gonna throw a punch?
66
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:01,194
Oh, hey, guys.
67
00:03:01,262 --> 00:03:02,044
Hey.
Hey.
68
00:03:02,112 --> 00:03:04,130
Honey, good news.
Emily and Peter
69
00:03:04,198 --> 00:03:06,399
have 2 extra tickets
to mark Russell tonight
70
00:03:06,467 --> 00:03:08,068
and they want to take us.
71
00:03:08,135 --> 00:03:10,170
Who the hell
is mark Russell?
72
00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:11,605
He does these
politically based
73
00:03:11,672 --> 00:03:13,440
song parodies.
He's hilarious.
74
00:03:13,508 --> 00:03:15,542
He's got this one
about newt gingrich-
75
00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:16,776
he-
76
00:03:16,844 --> 00:03:20,347
he totally rips him
a new one.
77
00:03:20,414 --> 00:03:22,481
You know what?
That sounds like fun.
78
00:03:22,549 --> 00:03:23,233
Let's do it.
79
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,451
Really? Thank you.
80
00:03:24,518 --> 00:03:26,453
But we're supposed to go
to Cooper's tonight
81
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:27,954
to watch that
ultimate fighting thing.
82
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:29,489
You need 4 people
to get a booth.
83
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,324
I got a chance to hang out
with my wife
84
00:03:31,391 --> 00:03:34,761
and her new work friends,
all right? Just back it down.
85
00:03:34,829 --> 00:03:36,830
Love you.
86
00:03:36,897 --> 00:03:39,599
Love you, too.
Lookin' forward to it.
87
00:03:40,801 --> 00:03:41,968
You do realize
88
00:03:42,036 --> 00:03:44,304
you just went from 2
psychos fighting in a cage
89
00:03:44,371 --> 00:03:47,606
to a guy in a bow tie
singing about inflation.
90
00:03:47,674 --> 00:03:49,543
Ha ha! I forgot
about that one.
91
00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:52,445
That one's great.
Ha ha ha!
92
00:03:52,513 --> 00:03:54,213
Calm down? You know what?
I know what I'm doing.
93
00:03:54,281 --> 00:03:55,549
Really? 'Cause from
where I'm sitting,
94
00:03:55,616 --> 00:03:58,451
you just got steamrolled
like a cartoon character.
95
00:03:58,519 --> 00:04:00,720
Look, Carrie just got
a new job, and that's great.
96
00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:02,588
The bad news is, now
there's a whole new building
97
00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:04,424
full of these Manhattan
chuckleheads
98
00:04:04,492 --> 00:04:06,092
she's gonna
want to make friends with.
99
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,677
Oh, she loves that.
100
00:04:07,744 --> 00:04:10,063
"Oh, let's make new friends.
Let's open up our world."
101
00:04:10,131 --> 00:04:12,265
You know what? I don't
want to open up our world.
102
00:04:12,332 --> 00:04:14,768
I want to close our world.
103
00:04:14,835 --> 00:04:17,336
Build a dome over it.
104
00:04:17,404 --> 00:04:19,172
Well, if you don't want
to meet any new people,
105
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,007
why'd you agree
to go out with them?
106
00:04:21,075 --> 00:04:23,176
Because Carrie
can't know about the dome.
107
00:04:23,244 --> 00:04:24,944
So what I like to do is...
108
00:04:25,012 --> 00:04:27,580
Happily agree to go out
with these people.
109
00:04:27,648 --> 00:04:30,950
And then let's just say,
by the end of the evening...
110
00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:33,686
They no like Dougie
so much.
111
00:04:36,857 --> 00:04:39,125
Oh, thanks for taking us
tonight, you guys.
112
00:04:39,193 --> 00:04:40,293
Oh, sure.
113
00:04:40,361 --> 00:04:42,395
Mark Russell
never disappoints.
114
00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:45,732
I had no idea there were so many
words that rhyme with bipartisan.
115
00:04:46,684 --> 00:04:49,169
Wow, I really
love this house.
116
00:04:49,237 --> 00:04:51,371
Oh, thank you.
It's just a place holder
117
00:04:51,438 --> 00:04:52,972
until I hit the lottery.
118
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,974
Actually... I think
I'm a place holder
119
00:04:55,042 --> 00:04:56,542
until she hits
the lottery.
120
00:04:56,610 --> 00:04:58,561
Honey, you want to
get some coffee going?
121
00:04:58,629 --> 00:04:59,979
Oh, yeah, yeah.
122
00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:01,881
All right, you guys just
talk amongst yourselves.
123
00:05:01,949 --> 00:05:03,917
Ohh,
what a great night, huh?
124
00:05:03,984 --> 00:05:05,251
Yeah, it was.
Yeah, yeah.
125
00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:06,252
Yeah.
126
00:05:08,488 --> 00:05:10,590
Can I, uh,
ask you guys a question?
127
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:11,925
Oh, sure.
128
00:05:11,992 --> 00:05:14,894
Is this a lot of hair,
right here? Seriously.
129
00:05:17,982 --> 00:05:19,616
'Cause some people
say I'm hairy,
130
00:05:19,683 --> 00:05:22,468
but I don't think
I'm hairy enough, you know?
131
00:05:22,536 --> 00:05:24,637
Like, especially in the
winter, the cold months.
132
00:05:24,705 --> 00:05:25,905
Yeah, what do you think?
133
00:05:25,973 --> 00:05:27,840
I, uh, I don't, um...
134
00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:29,675
I'm sure you're fine.
135
00:05:29,743 --> 00:05:31,111
You want to touch it?
It's very soft.
136
00:05:31,178 --> 00:05:32,112
No.
137
00:05:32,179 --> 00:05:33,613
Go ahead. Seriously.
Touch it.
138
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:34,948
It's like a puppy,
I swear.
139
00:05:35,015 --> 00:05:36,282
It's a little puppy.
140
00:05:36,350 --> 00:05:38,118
Yeah. No bitey, no bitey.
141
00:05:38,185 --> 00:05:40,453
Uh... I don't think
I want to do that right now.
142
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,456
You know, sometimes I think
about shaving it all off
143
00:05:43,523 --> 00:05:46,425
and just stuffin' it in a
pillowcase and sleepin' on it.
144
00:05:46,493 --> 00:05:48,845
Hey.
There she is.
145
00:05:48,912 --> 00:05:50,763
I hope you guys
don't mind.
146
00:05:50,831 --> 00:05:52,815
All I could find
were these oreos.
147
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:54,801
Yeah. Um, actually,
we have to scoot.
148
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:55,969
Yeah.
149
00:05:56,036 --> 00:05:57,136
Come on, hang out.
150
00:05:57,204 --> 00:05:58,805
Yeah, I'm sorry.
151
00:05:58,873 --> 00:06:01,224
I forgot the babysitter
needs us home by 11:00.
152
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:02,492
By 11:00.
She did say that.
153
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,260
Oh, ok.
All right.
154
00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:06,362
Well, let's do this
again, you guys.
155
00:06:06,430 --> 00:06:08,114
Yeah,
we'll check our schedule!
156
00:06:11,618 --> 00:06:13,286
That was fun.
157
00:06:13,354 --> 00:06:15,421
That was fun.
158
00:06:29,418 --> 00:06:32,354
Ok, I win again.
You just scratched.
159
00:06:32,421 --> 00:06:34,056
Obviously you're not
familiar with the rules
160
00:06:34,124 --> 00:06:36,458
of north European billiards.
161
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:39,144
I can't believe
you brought Arthur here.
162
00:06:39,212 --> 00:06:41,396
We needed a fourth to get the
booth. What's the big deal?
163
00:06:41,464 --> 00:06:43,131
The big deal is,
when he gets into a fight,
164
00:06:43,199 --> 00:06:45,200
I'm the one who's gonna
have to stop it,
165
00:06:45,268 --> 00:06:47,802
and this is too damn pretty.
166
00:06:47,870 --> 00:06:49,137
Who was light beer?
167
00:06:49,205 --> 00:06:51,239
Oh, that'd be me.
168
00:06:51,307 --> 00:06:52,558
Watching the old waistline.
169
00:06:52,626 --> 00:06:55,093
Gotta fit into my bikini
for the summer, right?
170
00:06:55,161 --> 00:06:57,479
Right. And 2 heinekens.
171
00:06:59,015 --> 00:07:00,649
Damn, that was rough.
172
00:07:02,385 --> 00:07:04,502
Yeah, guy. A little tip when
you try to pick up chicks-
173
00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:07,005
don't make them
picture you in a bikini.
174
00:07:07,807 --> 00:07:09,591
Can I borrow some cash?
175
00:07:09,658 --> 00:07:11,810
No more money, Arthur. You
stink at pool. Deal with it.
176
00:07:11,878 --> 00:07:14,196
I'll play you right now
for a million dollars.
177
00:07:14,263 --> 00:07:16,982
You already owe me 8 million
from pinball. Sit down.
178
00:07:24,090 --> 00:07:25,523
I'm hot.
179
00:07:25,591 --> 00:07:27,525
Then take off
your sweater.
180
00:07:27,593 --> 00:07:30,195
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
181
00:07:31,931 --> 00:07:33,265
Fine, then be hot.
182
00:07:34,317 --> 00:07:37,002
Ok, you win.
Enjoy the show.
183
00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:45,877
Do you want some help
with that, Arthur?
184
00:07:45,945 --> 00:07:49,781
I think I can take off
my own sweater, thank you.
185
00:07:53,786 --> 00:07:56,455
Is someone gonna
help me or what?
186
00:07:57,223 --> 00:07:59,107
Come here.
Come here.
187
00:08:00,876 --> 00:08:02,577
Give me that,
188
00:08:02,645 --> 00:08:04,546
and... there.
189
00:08:04,613 --> 00:08:06,831
That was terrifying.
190
00:08:06,899 --> 00:08:09,368
I'm gonna need
a men's room pronto.
191
00:08:11,353 --> 00:08:13,154
Here are your wings.
192
00:08:13,222 --> 00:08:14,155
Thanks.
193
00:08:14,223 --> 00:08:15,757
Was that your grandfather?
194
00:08:15,825 --> 00:08:18,093
Who, him?
No, that's just some guy.
195
00:08:18,161 --> 00:08:19,845
Oh. You know,
so many people
196
00:08:19,912 --> 00:08:21,347
take the elderly
for granted,
197
00:08:21,414 --> 00:08:23,716
it's really sweet seeing you
take care of him like that.
198
00:08:23,783 --> 00:08:25,583
It is?
199
00:08:25,651 --> 00:08:27,235
Sure. It shows
you have a big heart.
200
00:08:27,303 --> 00:08:28,870
I like that.
201
00:08:28,938 --> 00:08:30,272
Oh, ho.
202
00:08:30,339 --> 00:08:31,273
She likes that.
203
00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:32,358
Huh!
204
00:08:32,425 --> 00:08:33,692
Ok, false alarm.
205
00:08:33,759 --> 00:08:35,194
Oh, hey,
there's the man.
206
00:08:35,261 --> 00:08:36,761
Huh?
Come here.
207
00:08:36,829 --> 00:08:39,531
You got a little,
uh, shmutz on your face.
208
00:08:45,871 --> 00:08:47,973
Oh, you're sick, Emily?
209
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,225
That's too bad.
210
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:53,128
Hey, maybe it's from smelling Mr.
Duchet's cologne, right? Ha ha!
211
00:08:53,195 --> 00:08:54,863
Oh, ok, you gotta go?
212
00:08:54,931 --> 00:08:57,299
All right. Ok. Bye-bye.
213
00:08:57,366 --> 00:08:58,734
Crap.
214
00:08:58,802 --> 00:09:00,519
What's the matter, babe?
215
00:09:00,587 --> 00:09:02,604
Emily and Peter
blew us off again tonight.
216
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,157
Really? That's weird.
217
00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:08,260
They said they had to
go bird shopping.
218
00:09:08,328 --> 00:09:11,529
Who goes bird shopping
on a Saturday night?
219
00:09:11,597 --> 00:09:13,966
Who goes bird shopping?
220
00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:15,534
People like birds.
221
00:09:15,602 --> 00:09:17,369
I almost got a parrot once,
222
00:09:17,403 --> 00:09:19,705
till I found out
they live to be 80.
223
00:09:19,773 --> 00:09:22,574
I don't need my pet
outliving me.
224
00:09:22,642 --> 00:09:24,192
I just don't
understand it.
225
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:26,694
I mean, I thought
we all hit it off.
226
00:09:26,762 --> 00:09:28,696
How can they
not like us?
227
00:09:28,764 --> 00:09:30,198
I don't know.
I mean...
228
00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:31,699
There are people
out in the world
229
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,801
who don't like
squirt cheese.
230
00:09:34,787 --> 00:09:38,857
But we all gotta share
this big spinning rock.
231
00:09:39,692 --> 00:09:40,875
I mean, you were funny.
232
00:09:40,943 --> 00:09:42,210
I know they liked you.
233
00:09:42,278 --> 00:09:44,579
Well, that's true.
I'm-I'm electric.
234
00:09:46,282 --> 00:09:49,050
Do you think
it was me?
235
00:09:50,603 --> 00:09:52,804
No.
236
00:09:52,872 --> 00:09:54,222
My God, was it me?
237
00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:56,057
No, no, no.
You're fun and... feisty.
238
00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:57,559
What do you mean,
I'm feisty?
239
00:09:57,627 --> 00:09:59,594
Like I came on
too strong?
240
00:09:59,662 --> 00:10:01,846
Not at all. You didn't, no. I mean...
241
00:10:01,914 --> 00:10:02,914
Although...
242
00:10:02,982 --> 00:10:04,199
No, no, no-
what?
243
00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:05,734
It's nothing!
What? Just tell me!
244
00:10:05,802 --> 00:10:07,002
Ok, you-
245
00:10:07,070 --> 00:10:09,238
you remember at dinner
when you...
246
00:10:09,305 --> 00:10:12,408
Asked the busboy, like,
3 times for lemons?
247
00:10:12,475 --> 00:10:15,244
I thought I saw Peter and Emily
throw each other a look, like...
248
00:10:15,311 --> 00:10:17,846
"Ok..."
249
00:10:17,914 --> 00:10:21,099
Oh, my God,
I can't believe it.
250
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:22,918
Hey, I love it when you
mix it up with the help,
251
00:10:22,985 --> 00:10:26,922
but maybe they're just not
hip enough to "get" you.
252
00:10:26,989 --> 00:10:29,658
You know,
it's their loss.
253
00:10:29,725 --> 00:10:30,976
I just thought
this would be a great way
254
00:10:31,043 --> 00:10:32,444
to open up our world
a little bit, you know?
255
00:10:32,512 --> 00:10:34,113
Yeah, but, you know,
256
00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:36,448
we got a great world
right here in queens,
257
00:10:36,516 --> 00:10:39,284
with great friends
who...
258
00:10:39,352 --> 00:10:41,786
Love us for who we are.
259
00:10:43,689 --> 00:10:45,757
You're right, honey.
260
00:10:48,194 --> 00:10:49,561
Thanks, babe.
261
00:10:53,132 --> 00:10:56,201
And all is quiet
in the dome.
262
00:11:06,763 --> 00:11:07,896
Oh, hey, Emily.
263
00:11:07,964 --> 00:11:09,230
Hey, Carrie.
264
00:11:12,769 --> 00:11:15,537
I just got,
like, 70 more.
265
00:11:18,274 --> 00:11:20,325
So did you guys
end up, uh,
266
00:11:20,393 --> 00:11:22,494
getting that bird
or...
267
00:11:22,562 --> 00:11:23,579
Oh, no. No.
268
00:11:23,729 --> 00:11:25,830
We looked around,
but we couldn't agree on one.
269
00:11:25,898 --> 00:11:26,931
Yeah, it's hard.
270
00:11:32,839 --> 00:11:34,639
Emily, uh...
271
00:11:34,707 --> 00:11:36,457
Can I ask you
a question?
272
00:11:36,525 --> 00:11:37,709
Sure.
273
00:11:37,776 --> 00:11:39,461
Uh, did I do anything
the other night
274
00:11:39,529 --> 00:11:42,164
to offend you
in any way?
275
00:11:42,232 --> 00:11:43,482
No, no. Not at all.
276
00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:45,617
I know I can be
opinionated sometimes.
277
00:11:45,685 --> 00:11:47,419
I talk before I think,
and I-
278
00:11:47,487 --> 00:11:49,037
Carrie,
I think you're great.
279
00:11:49,105 --> 00:11:50,271
Really.
280
00:11:50,339 --> 00:11:51,106
You do?
281
00:11:51,174 --> 00:11:52,190
Yeah.
282
00:11:52,258 --> 00:11:53,458
Oh.
283
00:11:53,526 --> 00:11:56,060
Then you guys want to
get together this weekend?
284
00:11:56,128 --> 00:11:58,596
Yeah, um... I don't think so.
285
00:11:59,798 --> 00:12:01,733
Ok. I mean,
if you like me so much,
286
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,336
how come you never want
to hang out with us?
287
00:12:04,403 --> 00:12:06,688
Carrie... it's not you.
288
00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:09,908
Did you lift your shirt
289
00:12:09,976 --> 00:12:12,110
and make them touch
your belly hair?!
290
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:16,281
What?!
291
00:12:16,349 --> 00:12:17,332
Did you?
292
00:12:17,399 --> 00:12:18,567
I lifted my what
and made who-
293
00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:21,035
I- I-i-i can't even
follow what you're saying!
294
00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:23,405
You lifted your shirt
and made Peter and Emily
295
00:12:23,473 --> 00:12:24,906
touch your belly hair!
296
00:12:24,974 --> 00:12:26,741
Oh, yeah, ok, yeah, and then
I threw on a g-string
297
00:12:26,809 --> 00:12:29,545
and gave Peter
a lap dance. Yeah.
298
00:12:29,612 --> 00:12:31,380
Oh, yeah, ok, Doug, what are
you saying, Emily's lying?
299
00:12:31,447 --> 00:12:32,481
Why would she lie?
300
00:12:32,549 --> 00:12:33,548
Oh, come on. Yeah-
301
00:12:33,616 --> 00:12:35,717
I lifted up my shirt
and I made them touch me.
302
00:12:35,784 --> 00:12:37,685
That's what I did.
303
00:12:37,753 --> 00:12:38,887
Oh, God.
304
00:12:38,955 --> 00:12:40,388
10 years together,
Carrie.
305
00:12:40,456 --> 00:12:43,892
10 years,
you think you know a person.
306
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,727
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
307
00:12:45,795 --> 00:12:49,031
This-this stings a little.
This-this stings...
308
00:12:49,098 --> 00:12:51,483
All right, l-look,
I know it sounds crazy,
309
00:12:51,550 --> 00:12:52,751
but why would she...
310
00:12:52,819 --> 00:12:53,919
I don't know,
you know,
311
00:12:53,987 --> 00:12:55,854
but maybe it's because
you guys work together
312
00:12:55,922 --> 00:12:58,272
and she didn't want
to hurt your feelings,
313
00:12:58,341 --> 00:12:59,607
so she blamed me.
314
00:12:59,675 --> 00:13:02,243
It's all right. I'm a
big boy. I can take it.
315
00:13:03,579 --> 00:13:05,797
Honey, I am so sorry.
316
00:13:05,864 --> 00:13:07,766
No, no, no, no, no.
No, you know what?
317
00:13:07,834 --> 00:13:10,769
I'm sorry that you have to
put up with people like her.
318
00:13:10,837 --> 00:13:13,037
I just don't know
what's going on with me.
319
00:13:13,105 --> 00:13:14,539
It's like I can't
read people anymore.
320
00:13:14,607 --> 00:13:17,241
Is it because I've been
out of work for so long?
321
00:13:17,309 --> 00:13:21,046
We can analyze this
till we're blue in the face...
322
00:13:21,113 --> 00:13:22,547
The point is,
323
00:13:22,614 --> 00:13:24,482
it's behind us.
324
00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:25,550
You know what?
325
00:13:25,618 --> 00:13:27,051
You are right.
326
00:13:27,119 --> 00:13:29,287
Screw Emily kornbluth.
327
00:13:29,355 --> 00:13:30,805
Yeah!
328
00:13:30,873 --> 00:13:33,875
There are plenty of people at
my office we could hang out with.
329
00:13:38,297 --> 00:13:39,564
So how much
would it take
330
00:13:39,632 --> 00:13:42,617
for you guys to get it
on in front of me, huh?
331
00:13:57,316 --> 00:13:58,667
May I?
332
00:13:58,734 --> 00:13:59,668
Thank you.
333
00:14:13,049 --> 00:14:14,399
Come on.
We've all wondered
334
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:16,834
what human flesh
tastes like, right?
335
00:14:18,353 --> 00:14:20,638
So, seriously...
You in?
336
00:14:38,823 --> 00:14:42,192
There you go, big guy.
How's that feel?
337
00:14:42,259 --> 00:14:45,329
It didn't really hurt to begin
with, but I'm not hatin' it.
338
00:14:45,396 --> 00:14:47,897
How low could you go without
feeling uncomfortable?
339
00:14:47,965 --> 00:14:50,600
As low as the law
allows, my friend.
340
00:14:50,668 --> 00:14:52,969
Oh, I'll be back
in just a second.
341
00:14:57,508 --> 00:14:59,275
Hey, Kate,
how's it goin'?
342
00:14:59,343 --> 00:15:00,360
Oh, hey.
343
00:15:00,428 --> 00:15:02,329
Yeah. Just, uh,
knockin' one back
344
00:15:02,397 --> 00:15:04,097
with my old pal Arthur.
345
00:15:04,165 --> 00:15:07,150
God, his own family keeps him
locked in a basement all day.
346
00:15:07,218 --> 00:15:08,819
It's sad.
347
00:15:08,886 --> 00:15:12,388
Damn it, I said I wasn't
gonna cry about this.
348
00:15:12,456 --> 00:15:14,090
Oh, yeah, but, you know, it
looks like you and your friend
349
00:15:14,158 --> 00:15:16,025
take really good care
of him.
350
00:15:16,093 --> 00:15:17,561
What?
351
00:15:17,628 --> 00:15:21,081
Yeah, I guess looking
after him is a lot of work.
352
00:15:21,148 --> 00:15:23,466
It doesn't feel like
work, though.
353
00:15:23,534 --> 00:15:26,703
It feels a lot more
like love.
354
00:15:26,771 --> 00:15:28,438
I love you, too,
Daniel.
355
00:15:28,505 --> 00:15:30,340
Now, give me
a nice crisp part
356
00:15:30,408 --> 00:15:32,642
like desi arnaz.
357
00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:34,411
What are you doing?
358
00:15:34,478 --> 00:15:36,046
Arthur's hair
was a little messy,
359
00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:37,614
so I'm fixing it.
360
00:15:37,681 --> 00:15:39,650
Ok, leave him alone.
This is my thing.
361
00:15:39,717 --> 00:15:40,717
Well, now it's our thing.
362
00:15:40,785 --> 00:15:42,052
No, it isn't.
363
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,720
Why don't you go away,
all right? I'm doing his hair.
364
00:15:43,788 --> 00:15:44,938
Uh, hey, look at the
time. I gotta feed you.
365
00:15:45,006 --> 00:15:45,973
Here. Have a breadstick.
366
00:15:46,124 --> 00:15:47,391
I don't want a breadstick.
367
00:15:47,459 --> 00:15:48,392
Yes, you do.
368
00:15:48,460 --> 00:15:49,826
Sesame seeds
make my gums inflamed.
369
00:15:49,894 --> 00:15:51,161
Hey, come eat.
This way.
370
00:15:51,229 --> 00:15:52,329
Hey, now stop it!
371
00:15:52,397 --> 00:15:53,763
The two of you
have been grooming me,
372
00:15:53,831 --> 00:15:55,315
you've been feeding me...
373
00:15:55,383 --> 00:15:57,551
Letting me sit on your lap.
374
00:15:57,618 --> 00:15:59,269
What gives?
375
00:15:59,336 --> 00:16:01,004
It's just...
376
00:16:01,072 --> 00:16:03,173
It turns out women
kind of like it
377
00:16:03,241 --> 00:16:05,142
when they see us
taking care of you.
378
00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:08,295
So I'm only here so you can
use me as old man bait?
379
00:16:08,362 --> 00:16:09,996
You make me sick.
380
00:16:10,064 --> 00:16:13,700
Now, finish my desi
and then I'm outta here.
381
00:16:17,404 --> 00:16:20,006
Hey, did I tell you that
Kelly's on the steering committee
382
00:16:20,074 --> 00:16:22,342
for Kirby's middle school?
383
00:16:22,409 --> 00:16:24,911
No, but back that story up,
384
00:16:24,979 --> 00:16:27,113
'cause I don't want
to miss a thing.
385
00:16:27,181 --> 00:16:29,199
Come on, man.
I'm in trouble here.
386
00:16:29,267 --> 00:16:31,067
She's trying to make friends
with this couple she met there-
387
00:16:31,135 --> 00:16:32,435
George and viola.
388
00:16:32,503 --> 00:16:36,389
I need to know how this
whole dome business works.
389
00:16:36,457 --> 00:16:39,509
Oh, so somebody wants a
little help from the master.
390
00:16:39,577 --> 00:16:40,710
Yeah, yeah.
Walk me through this.
391
00:16:40,778 --> 00:16:42,279
How do I make
these people disappear?
392
00:16:42,347 --> 00:16:45,548
Well, the first thing you
do is you go out with them.
393
00:16:45,616 --> 00:16:48,551
Ok, you be charming, and pretend
you're having a great time.
394
00:16:48,619 --> 00:16:52,055
And when Kelly leaves the
room, you make your move.
395
00:16:52,123 --> 00:16:53,356
What do I do?
396
00:16:53,424 --> 00:16:55,191
Well, there are
a lot of options.
397
00:16:55,259 --> 00:16:59,195
But I'm gonna start you off
with a basic shirt lift.
398
00:16:59,263 --> 00:17:02,299
You mean like this?
399
00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:05,501
You know what? You
don't have a ton of hair.
400
00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:07,570
You might want
to go nipple.
401
00:17:10,007 --> 00:17:10,907
All right, fine.
402
00:17:11,059 --> 00:17:12,659
Anything else?
403
00:17:12,726 --> 00:17:15,779
Sometimes I like to throw
in a crazy look, like...
404
00:17:18,549 --> 00:17:20,467
That really works?
405
00:17:20,535 --> 00:17:22,352
I have yet to find
a glitch in the system.
406
00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:26,356
Everybody hates me, I hate
them, and I am quitting.
407
00:17:26,423 --> 00:17:27,590
That's it. I've had it.
408
00:17:29,593 --> 00:17:31,311
And there's
the first glitch.
409
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:39,502
Hey, babe. You're not really thinking
about quitting your job, are you?
410
00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:42,105
Yeah, I am. Ok? I'm looking
through the want ads right now.
411
00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:43,607
I refuse to work with people
412
00:17:43,675 --> 00:17:45,341
that I have to beg
to be my friend, all right?
413
00:17:45,409 --> 00:17:47,211
I'm a very sweet
and nice person.
414
00:17:47,278 --> 00:17:49,413
They can all bite me.
415
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,081
You just had a bad day.
416
00:17:51,148 --> 00:17:52,715
Hey, you know what? I
know what'll cheer you up.
417
00:17:52,783 --> 00:17:54,584
How about we
grab some Chinese, huh?
418
00:17:54,651 --> 00:17:55,619
No, I'm not hungry.
419
00:17:55,686 --> 00:17:56,920
Come on.
We could make fun
420
00:17:56,987 --> 00:17:59,822
of Mr. Chang's lisp, order
some thweet and thour thoup.
421
00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:01,909
No. You know what?
I'm just gonna go to bed.
422
00:18:04,695 --> 00:18:07,197
Look, you just got this job.
You can't quit.
423
00:18:07,265 --> 00:18:09,600
You know what? Find someone
else. We'll go out with them.
424
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:10,517
No.
425
00:18:10,584 --> 00:18:11,835
It'll work out
this time. I know it.
426
00:18:11,902 --> 00:18:13,520
Really? How do you
know that, Doug?
427
00:18:13,588 --> 00:18:16,205
Because this time you won't
yell at a busboy about lemons,
428
00:18:16,273 --> 00:18:19,342
and I won't
"lift my shirt."
429
00:18:20,761 --> 00:18:22,378
Come on. You work with,
like, a million people.
430
00:18:22,446 --> 00:18:24,915
There's gotta be someone
there we can go out with.
431
00:18:26,117 --> 00:18:28,151
Well, I kind of know
the newsstand lady
432
00:18:28,219 --> 00:18:29,652
that works in the lobby.
433
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:30,954
Perfect. There we go-
434
00:18:31,021 --> 00:18:33,724
me, you, newsstand lady,
Mr. newsstand lady-
435
00:18:33,791 --> 00:18:35,459
we'll
all paint the town.
436
00:18:35,526 --> 00:18:37,193
Ok.
437
00:18:37,261 --> 00:18:39,062
All right? Now let's
talk Mr. Chang's, huh?
438
00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:41,231
Thweet and thour thoup,
thethame chicken-
439
00:18:41,299 --> 00:18:42,499
and anything else?
440
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:45,268
Thpare ribth?
441
00:18:45,335 --> 00:18:47,604
That's my girl.
442
00:18:51,809 --> 00:18:53,326
There you go, whitey.
443
00:18:53,394 --> 00:18:55,996
It seems you had some
marshmallow on your chin.
444
00:18:56,063 --> 00:18:57,230
You put it there.
445
00:18:57,297 --> 00:18:59,582
You want your 5 bucks,
then shut up!
446
00:19:00,918 --> 00:19:04,187
Just, uh, taking care
of my old friend here.
447
00:19:07,591 --> 00:19:10,193
Arthur, uh,
we just came by
448
00:19:10,261 --> 00:19:11,527
to say we're sorry.
449
00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:13,663
Yeah, we didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
450
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:17,200
Buzz off. I got my own
thing working right now.
451
00:19:17,268 --> 00:19:18,534
Wait-wait a minute.
452
00:19:18,602 --> 00:19:21,104
You're doing exactly
what you yelled at us for.
453
00:19:21,172 --> 00:19:22,372
Doing what?
454
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,191
Never mind what I'm doing!
Just look pathetic.
455
00:19:25,259 --> 00:19:28,361
He's using you because
women are attracted to men
456
00:19:28,429 --> 00:19:30,596
who take care of
the elderly.
457
00:19:30,664 --> 00:19:31,881
Really?
458
00:19:31,949 --> 00:19:34,817
Then I'm gonna call
my Uncle Carl.
459
00:19:39,524 --> 00:19:42,625
At first we just
sold newspapers.
460
00:19:42,693 --> 00:19:45,728
Then I got the idea
to sell gum and candy.
461
00:19:45,796 --> 00:19:48,398
Then I put in
the chip rack,
462
00:19:48,466 --> 00:19:49,899
and knock on wood,
463
00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:53,803
next month we're getting
a chapstick dispenser.
464
00:19:53,871 --> 00:19:57,140
Wow. It's a good time
in our lives.
465
00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:59,242
Well, I'm gonna get
some more coffee.
466
00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:01,478
How are you guys?
You ok? Cheryl? Dennis?
467
00:20:01,546 --> 00:20:03,146
We're fine.
Uh, good.
468
00:20:03,214 --> 00:20:07,050
Ok. Well, just let me know
if anything bothers you. Ok?
469
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:08,668
All right.
470
00:20:08,735 --> 00:20:11,003
Hey, you guys
ever play balderdash?
471
00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:12,288
Hmm?
472
00:20:12,356 --> 00:20:13,757
The board game.
473
00:20:13,825 --> 00:20:16,593
You make up fake
dictionary definitions.
474
00:20:16,661 --> 00:20:18,261
It's hilarious.
475
00:20:18,329 --> 00:20:21,097
We're in a league every
Tuesday and Friday.
476
00:20:21,165 --> 00:20:22,599
Maybe you could join.
477
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:26,069
"If you love words,
you'll love balderdash."
478
00:20:27,738 --> 00:20:30,507
Yeah. And Dennis here,
479
00:20:30,575 --> 00:20:33,410
he always makes
this incredible chili.
480
00:20:33,477 --> 00:20:35,395
It is delicious.
481
00:20:35,463 --> 00:20:36,663
No meat.
482
00:20:36,731 --> 00:20:38,765
All tofu.
483
00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:40,433
And...
484
00:20:40,501 --> 00:20:43,202
We get totally drunk.
485
00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:44,621
On fun!
486
00:20:44,689 --> 00:20:48,141
Ha ha ha ha ha!
487
00:20:48,209 --> 00:20:49,842
Is this a lot of hair
right here? Seriously.
488
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:51,027
Huh?
489
00:20:52,446 --> 00:20:54,281
Hey...
34462
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