Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:38,785
Hello?
2
00:00:38,853 --> 00:00:41,054
Oh, hey, Janet.
3
00:00:41,122 --> 00:00:43,072
Yeah, we got our tickets.
4
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:46,192
Yeah, we can't wait
to see you either.
5
00:00:46,260 --> 00:00:48,795
Uh, ok. It's your mom.
6
00:00:48,863 --> 00:00:50,830
She wants to know if we
still like corn chex.
7
00:00:52,199 --> 00:00:54,500
Uh, yeah.
8
00:00:54,568 --> 00:00:56,853
Yeah, that's a green light
on the corn chex.
9
00:00:56,921 --> 00:00:59,756
Ok. Bye-bye, hon.
10
00:00:59,823 --> 00:01:02,359
Ok, that's the 14th call
about our trip.
11
00:01:02,427 --> 00:01:04,528
You know my mom. She just wants
it to be great for us down there.
12
00:01:04,595 --> 00:01:06,113
No, I know.
I love your mom.
13
00:01:06,213 --> 00:01:07,931
I just wish she didn't
have to work so hard
14
00:01:07,998 --> 00:01:10,299
when we come there.
15
00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:12,769
Hey, maybe this time
we can take the burden off her
16
00:01:12,837 --> 00:01:15,972
and stay in a hotel
or something.
17
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,841
A hotel. Interesting.
18
00:01:18,909 --> 00:01:19,842
Isn't it?
19
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:20,944
Yeah. You know
what else we could do?
20
00:01:21,011 --> 00:01:23,913
We could smack her
in the face with a shovel.
21
00:01:23,981 --> 00:01:25,932
Would you just think of it
for a moment?
22
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,302
I mean, we'd see your parents
just as much during the day,
23
00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:31,104
get in all
that family goodness,
24
00:01:31,172 --> 00:01:32,639
and then at night
we'd stay in a hotel.
25
00:01:32,706 --> 00:01:33,907
We have a little privacy,
26
00:01:33,974 --> 00:01:35,876
you know,
without all their stuff
27
00:01:35,943 --> 00:01:39,679
that makes us
a little crazy. Heh.
28
00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:41,782
Uh, what-what stuff?
29
00:01:41,849 --> 00:01:42,783
Doug, come on. Like-
30
00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:45,235
like the fact that we can't
leave the house after 8:00
31
00:01:45,302 --> 00:01:46,870
because they set the alarm
32
00:01:46,937 --> 00:01:51,440
and it's too complicated
to teach us a 4-digit code.
33
00:01:51,508 --> 00:01:54,077
Followed by "pound."
34
00:01:54,144 --> 00:01:55,712
And once
that red light is on,
35
00:01:55,779 --> 00:01:56,829
we are stuck there!
36
00:01:56,897 --> 00:01:59,916
Do you know in prison,
they call that lockdown?
37
00:01:59,984 --> 00:02:02,085
So now staying at
my parents' is like prison?
38
00:02:02,153 --> 00:02:03,252
No, because in prison
39
00:02:03,287 --> 00:02:06,906
you could actually flush
the toilet past 8:30.
40
00:02:06,974 --> 00:02:07,958
They're
light sleepers, ok?
41
00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:10,093
And by the way, I'm not
quite sure prison
42
00:02:10,161 --> 00:02:12,445
is the paradise
you think it is.
43
00:02:12,513 --> 00:02:14,664
All right, take your mother's
feelings out of this for a second.
44
00:02:14,731 --> 00:02:15,749
This is about you.
45
00:02:15,816 --> 00:02:18,234
You're saying you would
actually rather stay
46
00:02:18,302 --> 00:02:20,937
in your parents'
retirement complex
47
00:02:21,005 --> 00:02:22,238
than in a beautiful room
48
00:02:22,306 --> 00:02:25,408
stocked with liquor
and dirty movies?
49
00:02:34,268 --> 00:02:36,469
No!
50
00:02:36,537 --> 00:02:37,637
But we can't stay
in a hotel.
51
00:02:37,705 --> 00:02:39,039
Ok? We just can't!
52
00:02:39,074 --> 00:02:40,373
Look, Doug-ok, look,
53
00:02:40,441 --> 00:02:42,675
your mom will be upset
for a minute, ok,
54
00:02:42,710 --> 00:02:44,144
but then she'll get over it,
55
00:02:44,212 --> 00:02:46,579
and we're adults here!
We're in our thirties.
56
00:02:46,647 --> 00:02:48,148
We're allowed to do this.
57
00:02:48,216 --> 00:02:50,300
It's like that time
you finally realized
58
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:53,319
you can have cookies
before dinner.
59
00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:57,089
You told me I couldn't
have cookies before dinner.
60
00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:58,892
You can't, ok?
61
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,560
I'm just saying your parents
aren't the ones
62
00:03:00,628 --> 00:03:01,628
who are stopping you.
63
00:03:01,695 --> 00:03:03,213
Ok, you know what?
My head is spinning.
64
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,264
If I go get a cookie right
now, what's gonna happen to me?
65
00:03:05,332 --> 00:03:06,699
Doug...
66
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:09,452
Please, honey, let's just
do this this one time, ok?
67
00:03:09,470 --> 00:03:10,620
We set the precedent.
68
00:03:10,687 --> 00:03:12,655
We never have to have
this conversation again.
69
00:03:12,723 --> 00:03:14,174
I will dial the number
for you, ok?
70
00:03:14,241 --> 00:03:16,075
Your fingers don't even
have to touch the buttons.
71
00:03:16,143 --> 00:03:17,144
Please? Come on, honey.
72
00:03:17,211 --> 00:03:18,461
Come on. I'm calling.
73
00:03:19,663 --> 00:03:22,048
All right, all right.
Let's do it.
74
00:03:22,116 --> 00:03:25,068
She'll be fine,
I promise.
75
00:03:25,135 --> 00:03:26,602
Hey, mom.
76
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:28,271
Uh, look, Carrie
and I were talking,
77
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:30,206
and we need to tell
you something.
78
00:03:30,274 --> 00:03:32,425
Uh, we've...
79
00:03:32,492 --> 00:03:35,494
Kind of turned against
the corn chex.
80
00:03:41,101 --> 00:03:43,002
You know what skill
I realized I have?
81
00:03:43,070 --> 00:03:44,871
I can tell who's doing
the voice-over
82
00:03:44,938 --> 00:03:45,972
on any commercial.
83
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,275
And I'm not talkin' James
Earl Jones for verizon.
84
00:03:48,342 --> 00:03:49,842
All right? That's kid stuff.
85
00:03:49,910 --> 00:03:52,979
I'm talkin' Lisa kudrow
for aquafina.
86
00:03:53,047 --> 00:03:55,481
Yeah, it's her.
87
00:03:55,549 --> 00:03:56,700
You wanna talk skills?
88
00:03:56,767 --> 00:04:00,403
I can always tell whether
a dog is a girl or a boy.
89
00:04:00,471 --> 00:04:01,471
You mean, without
looking underneath?
90
00:04:01,539 --> 00:04:02,688
Yeah, see, that's
what makes it a skill.
91
00:04:02,756 --> 00:04:05,775
See, otherwise,
it's just looking.
92
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,462
Wow, I really missed
these conversations
93
00:04:09,529 --> 00:04:11,030
when we were separated.
94
00:04:11,098 --> 00:04:14,183
What's her problem?
She ain't got no skills?
95
00:04:14,251 --> 00:04:15,235
She's just mad
96
00:04:15,303 --> 00:04:17,070
'cause I'm making her
go skiing for a vacation.
97
00:04:17,137 --> 00:04:18,371
Oh, it's too damn cold.
98
00:04:18,439 --> 00:04:20,690
Hey, when are you guys
going on vacation?
99
00:04:20,757 --> 00:04:22,542
Next week. He's dragging me
up to some lodge in Vermont.
100
00:04:22,609 --> 00:04:23,576
Yeah, it's
gonna be great.
101
00:04:23,644 --> 00:04:24,744
Fun for us
and fun for them
102
00:04:24,812 --> 00:04:27,714
to see what black people look like.
103
00:04:27,782 --> 00:04:30,283
Um, Doug, come with me
to the salad bar.
104
00:04:30,351 --> 00:04:31,834
What?
105
00:04:31,902 --> 00:04:34,371
Come with me
to the salad bar.
106
00:04:34,438 --> 00:04:37,640
Uh, I don't eat the salad
when it's brought to me.
107
00:04:37,707 --> 00:04:40,176
Definitely not makin'
a special trip for it.
108
00:04:40,244 --> 00:04:42,195
They have
a taco section.
109
00:04:42,263 --> 00:04:43,930
Really?
Mm-hmm.
110
00:04:49,436 --> 00:04:51,704
Ok, where-where's
the taco section?
111
00:04:51,772 --> 00:04:53,406
Listen, I lied, ok?
112
00:04:53,474 --> 00:04:56,675
You lied?
Ok, I'm a person.
113
00:04:56,743 --> 00:04:58,829
Doug, listen to me.
Deacon and Kelly
114
00:04:58,896 --> 00:05:02,398
are going on vacation
the same time as us.
115
00:05:02,466 --> 00:05:04,067
So? So if we talk them into going
116
00:05:04,135 --> 00:05:06,185
to Florida
with us instead,
117
00:05:06,253 --> 00:05:08,021
we can't stay at
your parents' house.
118
00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:09,355
They don't have
enough room for us!
119
00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:11,257
We have to stay
in a hotel!
120
00:05:11,325 --> 00:05:13,492
You see? That way, your
parents are not offended,
121
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:14,994
and we set
our precedent,
122
00:05:15,062 --> 00:05:16,595
and
everybody's happy!
123
00:05:16,663 --> 00:05:17,763
Oh, my God,
they're looking.
124
00:05:17,831 --> 00:05:20,016
Get some salad,
get some salad.
125
00:05:20,084 --> 00:05:22,668
Ok, but Deacon and Kelly aren't
gonna change their vacation
126
00:05:22,736 --> 00:05:24,070
just so we don't have
to stay at my parents'.
127
00:05:24,138 --> 00:05:25,939
I know. We don't
tell them that part.
128
00:05:26,006 --> 00:05:28,724
We just say, "you know, we
haven't all gone away together"
129
00:05:28,792 --> 00:05:30,460
since you guys
got back together,"
130
00:05:30,528 --> 00:05:32,094
how it's all
about the foursome,
131
00:05:32,163 --> 00:05:33,463
blah, blah, blah.
132
00:05:33,531 --> 00:05:34,914
Kelly doesn't wanna
go to Vermont anyway.
133
00:05:34,982 --> 00:05:36,666
She'll be all over this!
134
00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:37,817
This could work.
135
00:05:37,885 --> 00:05:39,268
Hey, what
are you doing?
136
00:05:39,336 --> 00:05:41,020
I- I don't know. I panicked.
I went all baby corn.
137
00:05:41,088 --> 00:05:42,805
All right, put some dressing
on, put some dressing on!
138
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,908
Ok. All right,
let's do this.
139
00:05:44,976 --> 00:05:47,643
But don't sit too close to me, 'cause I'm
gonna accidentally knock this on the floor.
140
00:05:47,711 --> 00:05:48,644
Ok. Come on.
141
00:05:53,734 --> 00:05:55,568
So, look at us,
142
00:05:55,636 --> 00:05:57,470
all four of us
together.
143
00:05:57,538 --> 00:05:59,572
This is great.
This is great.
144
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,474
I wonder what else
we could do?
145
00:06:04,512 --> 00:06:06,879
You see? I told you
this would work out.
146
00:06:06,947 --> 00:06:08,147
I guess your mother
didn't take us
147
00:06:08,215 --> 00:06:10,249
staying at the hotel
too hard, huh?
148
00:06:13,170 --> 00:06:15,288
I said, "huh?"
149
00:06:17,391 --> 00:06:19,859
Oh, my God!
150
00:06:19,927 --> 00:06:22,495
I tried to tell her.
I couldn't!
151
00:06:22,563 --> 00:06:23,780
There they are!
152
00:06:23,848 --> 00:06:25,865
Hi, kids! Hi! Hey!
153
00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:28,201
Ohh!
Hi!
154
00:06:28,268 --> 00:06:30,036
Hi, how you doin', dad?
Nice to see you.
155
00:06:30,103 --> 00:06:32,271
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
156
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:33,406
You kids look great!
157
00:06:33,474 --> 00:06:35,107
Don't they
look great, Joe?
158
00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:36,242
Why aren't you standing under the chute
159
00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:38,494
where the bags come out? What?
160
00:06:38,512 --> 00:06:39,361
Now we'll be stuck
at the other end
161
00:06:39,429 --> 00:06:40,980
of the carousel
in Siberia!
162
00:06:41,048 --> 00:06:41,981
Get comfortable,
people.
163
00:06:42,049 --> 00:06:43,115
We're gonna
be here all day.
164
00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:44,984
We're not gonna
be here all day.
165
00:06:45,052 --> 00:06:47,587
No, we're not, because I'm gonna
shimmy my way under the chute.
166
00:06:47,655 --> 00:06:49,205
Doug, you see one of those
sittin' around, grab it.
167
00:06:49,272 --> 00:06:50,590
I'm not
coughing up 2 bucks
168
00:06:50,658 --> 00:06:53,326
for a glorified
shopping cart.
169
00:06:53,394 --> 00:06:55,461
You kids
must be tired.
170
00:06:55,529 --> 00:06:56,762
We'll go home,
we'll have lunch,
171
00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:58,898
and then you
can take a nice nap.
172
00:06:58,965 --> 00:07:01,634
Oh, by the way,
good news.
173
00:07:01,786 --> 00:07:04,154
Costco was willing
to swap the corn chex
174
00:07:04,221 --> 00:07:06,522
for the rice chex
even-Stevens.
175
00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:08,608
Whew!
Crisis averted!
176
00:07:08,676 --> 00:07:10,776
Yeah!
Yeah.
177
00:07:10,844 --> 00:07:12,495
Isn't that
your friend Deacon?
178
00:07:12,563 --> 00:07:15,014
Who? Which one?
179
00:07:15,082 --> 00:07:17,166
Right there,
next to Kelly.
180
00:07:17,934 --> 00:07:19,118
I don't know
what you're sayin'.
181
00:07:19,186 --> 00:07:21,587
I really don't.
182
00:07:21,655 --> 00:07:23,022
Um, here's
the thing:
183
00:07:23,090 --> 00:07:24,724
Yeah, we, uh-
184
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,859
we all decided to go
on vacation together.
185
00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:28,711
We know you don't have the
room for all four of us,
186
00:07:28,779 --> 00:07:30,447
so we're just gonna
stay at a hotel.
187
00:07:30,514 --> 00:07:32,014
No big whoop.
188
00:07:33,534 --> 00:07:34,700
Oh.
189
00:07:35,653 --> 00:07:37,603
You look so pretty.
190
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:47,044
Well, that was
the worst car ride ever.
191
00:07:47,112 --> 00:07:50,147
What? I don't think your
mother took it that bad.
192
00:07:50,215 --> 00:07:52,250
She refused to put on
her seat belt.
193
00:07:52,318 --> 00:07:55,386
She said,
"what's the point?"
194
00:07:55,454 --> 00:07:56,955
Ok, she was
a little rattled,
195
00:07:57,022 --> 00:07:58,289
but she'll
get over it, ok?
196
00:07:58,358 --> 00:08:00,809
Honey, come on. Please just
remember why we're doing this.
197
00:08:00,877 --> 00:08:03,044
I mean, look around.
198
00:08:03,112 --> 00:08:05,213
We are in a hotel room
199
00:08:05,281 --> 00:08:07,749
in Florida. Ok?
200
00:08:07,817 --> 00:08:09,050
I mean,
look at this. Look.
201
00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:12,420
We got a TV
that swivels...
202
00:08:12,488 --> 00:08:15,340
And some painting
of some...
203
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:18,176
Mystical dolphins...
204
00:08:18,244 --> 00:08:19,878
And when we get bored
lookin' at that,
205
00:08:19,946 --> 00:08:21,012
we can go downstairs
206
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,348
and have a little drink
at cap'n Toby's.
207
00:08:24,716 --> 00:08:26,017
Actually, I saw
that they let you
208
00:08:26,085 --> 00:08:27,785
throw your peanut shells
on the ground.
209
00:08:27,853 --> 00:08:31,256
I've always wanted
to try that.
210
00:08:31,323 --> 00:08:34,092
You see? Now you're
thinkin', honey!
211
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,960
Ok. So what do you
wanna do first?
212
00:08:36,028 --> 00:08:37,328
Anything.
Just name it.
213
00:08:37,396 --> 00:08:39,330
Anything?
Anything.
214
00:08:39,398 --> 00:08:42,633
You'd watch a movie
starring the rock with me?
215
00:08:42,701 --> 00:08:44,986
I would love to.
216
00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:50,241
Hey! Hello. Hey.
217
00:08:50,309 --> 00:08:51,643
Nice hotel you picked.
218
00:08:51,710 --> 00:08:53,845
Uh, the air-conditioning
in our room?
219
00:08:53,913 --> 00:08:56,047
Not working.
220
00:08:56,114 --> 00:08:58,567
Oh, well, maybe you
should call downstairs-
221
00:08:58,634 --> 00:09:00,152
and get another room?
Yeah, already tried that.
222
00:09:00,219 --> 00:09:03,171
They're all booked.
223
00:09:03,239 --> 00:09:05,607
You know where you don't
need air-conditioning?
224
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,308
Vermont.
225
00:09:16,435 --> 00:09:20,722
I'm sure sometimes you need
air-conditioning in Vermont.
226
00:09:20,790 --> 00:09:23,225
Yeah, I think you do. I
think he's just exaggerating.
227
00:09:23,292 --> 00:09:24,292
All right, honey,
come on.
228
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,127
You pick a little snack
from the mini-bar,
229
00:09:26,195 --> 00:09:28,496
and let's watch the rock
230
00:09:28,564 --> 00:09:31,582
be a neurosurgeon
who saves the president.
231
00:09:45,931 --> 00:09:49,167
Spring break 2004
is on!
232
00:09:50,836 --> 00:09:52,003
All right, here's
how this works, people.
233
00:09:52,070 --> 00:09:53,771
I call your school,
you pound a beer
234
00:09:53,839 --> 00:09:56,707
and scream like hell!
Are we ready?
235
00:09:59,194 --> 00:10:02,180
I can't hear you!
236
00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:04,316
That's crazy. How can he not hear that?
237
00:10:06,135 --> 00:10:07,885
I'll just turn it
up a little bit.
238
00:10:07,953 --> 00:10:08,986
There you go.
239
00:10:09,054 --> 00:10:11,589
Michigan state!
240
00:10:14,126 --> 00:10:17,061
University of Maryland!
241
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,597
Ok, well,
242
00:10:19,665 --> 00:10:22,868
there's 9.95
I'll never see again.
243
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:26,404
Yeah?
244
00:10:29,775 --> 00:10:33,811
You know where kids
don't go for spring break?
245
00:10:33,879 --> 00:10:35,647
Vermont.
246
00:10:42,721 --> 00:10:44,722
University of Texas!
247
00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:50,478
Honey, come on.
It's not that bad.
248
00:10:50,546 --> 00:10:53,548
Look at it this way. We have
our own disco in the room!
249
00:10:53,616 --> 00:10:55,350
Huh? Come on!
250
00:10:55,417 --> 00:10:56,851
Shake that thing, baby!
251
00:10:57,186 --> 00:10:57,819
I don't really-
do it for me, for me!
252
00:10:57,886 --> 00:10:59,070
You know I love it!
You know I love it!
253
00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:00,071
Come on,
do it for me!
254
00:11:00,138 --> 00:11:01,072
Do it for me,
do it for me!
255
00:11:01,139 --> 00:11:02,574
Come on, shake it!
Shake that thing!
256
00:11:02,641 --> 00:11:05,142
Shake that thing!
Shake that thing!
257
00:11:05,211 --> 00:11:06,644
Yeah! Yeah!
258
00:11:06,712 --> 00:11:08,045
I don't wanna,
I don't wanna!
259
00:11:08,113 --> 00:11:09,280
I- you know,
I wanna relax.
260
00:11:09,348 --> 00:11:10,831
You wanna relax?
Ok, how 'bout this?
261
00:11:10,899 --> 00:11:12,566
How 'bout this? We just
freshen up a little bit,
262
00:11:12,635 --> 00:11:15,503
we go downstairs, we tip
one back with cap'n Toby?
263
00:11:15,570 --> 00:11:17,338
Come on, let's
freshen up. Come on.
264
00:11:17,405 --> 00:11:18,506
All right.
265
00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:26,280
What happened?
266
00:11:26,349 --> 00:11:29,484
There's a bat in there. What?!
267
00:11:29,552 --> 00:11:31,186
There is a bat
in the bathroom!
268
00:11:31,253 --> 00:11:32,820
No!
269
00:11:32,888 --> 00:11:36,507
I'm sorry.
Did you say no?
270
00:11:36,575 --> 00:11:39,260
Doug, how can there be
a bat in the bathroom?
271
00:11:39,328 --> 00:11:41,212
It's probably just
a moth or something.
272
00:11:42,648 --> 00:11:43,581
Ay-yi-yi.
273
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:46,550
Ok, um,
274
00:11:46,619 --> 00:11:49,887
there's a bat
in the bathroom...
275
00:11:49,955 --> 00:11:51,789
And he's a big 'un.
276
00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:53,825
Let's not panic,
let's not panic.
277
00:11:53,892 --> 00:11:55,360
I will just
call downstairs,
278
00:11:55,427 --> 00:11:58,529
and we will just get this
taken care of right away.
279
00:12:00,516 --> 00:12:02,717
Yeah, hi. Um...
280
00:12:02,784 --> 00:12:04,485
We have a bat
in our bathroom.
281
00:12:06,522 --> 00:12:07,589
No, it-
282
00:12:07,656 --> 00:12:09,591
no, I'm sure you get
a lot of prank phone calls
283
00:12:09,658 --> 00:12:10,758
from the spring breakers,
284
00:12:10,826 --> 00:12:12,460
but I'm serious. We really-
285
00:12:14,663 --> 00:12:16,564
okey-doke.
286
00:12:16,632 --> 00:12:17,665
What did they say?
287
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,450
He told me to have
another Heineken,
288
00:12:19,518 --> 00:12:21,235
and he hung up on me.
289
00:12:21,303 --> 00:12:23,888
This is ridiculous.
I'm going in there myself.
290
00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:27,992
What are you gonna do
with the hair spray?
291
00:12:28,059 --> 00:12:29,411
I'm gonna spray him, ok?
292
00:12:29,478 --> 00:12:30,895
Maybe it'll kill him.
293
00:12:30,963 --> 00:12:33,397
Maybe it'll just freeze
his wings out like that.
294
00:12:34,966 --> 00:12:35,633
Wait, wait, wait!
295
00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:37,752
Take these. Wear these
for protection.
296
00:12:42,074 --> 00:12:43,908
Now the bat's gonna think
I'm Elton John.
297
00:12:43,976 --> 00:12:46,377
Look, just
wear them, please!
298
00:13:02,427 --> 00:13:03,712
Did you get him?
299
00:13:03,779 --> 00:13:05,463
I got him angry.
300
00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:09,350
Piedmont college!
Ohh.
301
00:13:12,304 --> 00:13:13,838
Will somebody please
shake that thing
302
00:13:13,906 --> 00:13:16,758
and get it over with?!
303
00:13:18,744 --> 00:13:22,647
So how are things
at your hotel?
304
00:13:22,715 --> 00:13:26,984
There was a goat swimming
in the pool this morning.
305
00:13:27,053 --> 00:13:29,070
Doug's really enjoying that
mini-bar, aren't you, honey?
306
00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:31,405
What did you end up
settling on? M&ms?
307
00:13:31,473 --> 00:13:32,674
What are you doing
eatin' from the mini-bar?
308
00:13:32,742 --> 00:13:34,425
You can buy m&ms
at walgreen's
309
00:13:34,492 --> 00:13:36,460
for a third
of the price!
310
00:13:36,528 --> 00:13:38,395
I think I have some chocolate
chips in the kitchen.
311
00:13:38,463 --> 00:13:40,464
I could put some
in a baggie for you.
312
00:13:40,532 --> 00:13:42,333
Oh, that's ok.
Thank you.
313
00:13:42,401 --> 00:13:43,868
All right.
314
00:13:43,936 --> 00:13:45,603
You know, Kelly,
darling, if you're tired,
315
00:13:45,671 --> 00:13:47,338
you could take a nap
in the guest room.
316
00:13:47,406 --> 00:13:49,640
Somebody might
as well use it.
317
00:13:52,027 --> 00:13:53,628
Your parents
have a guest room?
318
00:13:53,779 --> 00:13:55,713
What are you doing at the
hotel? Save yourselves.
319
00:13:55,781 --> 00:13:57,448
Hell, no, if we
have to suffer,
320
00:13:57,515 --> 00:13:59,383
they have
to suffer, too.
321
00:13:59,451 --> 00:14:02,236
Don't worry. We're
not staying here.
322
00:14:02,304 --> 00:14:03,204
All right, whatever. Deac, here.
323
00:14:03,271 --> 00:14:04,622
Help me clear.
324
00:14:09,728 --> 00:14:12,863
You know, maybe we should move
out of the hotel and stay here.
325
00:14:12,931 --> 00:14:14,566
No! I don't want to.
326
00:14:14,633 --> 00:14:15,900
Well, I kind of do.
327
00:14:15,968 --> 00:14:17,335
Uh, Doug,
328
00:14:17,403 --> 00:14:20,472
let's remember why we're doing this. Ok?
329
00:14:20,539 --> 00:14:22,273
We are
setting a precedent
330
00:14:22,341 --> 00:14:24,809
to stay in a hotel.
331
00:14:24,876 --> 00:14:27,312
No one said it
was gonna be easy.
332
00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:29,697
You did.
333
00:14:29,765 --> 00:14:32,167
You said as long as we got Deacon
and Kelly to come down with us,
334
00:14:32,234 --> 00:14:34,202
we'd be home free.
335
00:14:37,139 --> 00:14:39,173
What I just heard
336
00:14:39,241 --> 00:14:41,742
did not
make me happy.
337
00:14:41,810 --> 00:14:45,362
Oh, 'cause you're taking it
completely out of context.
338
00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:47,164
You invited us down here just so
you wouldn't have to spend time
339
00:14:47,232 --> 00:14:48,999
with your in-laws?
340
00:14:49,067 --> 00:14:50,401
No. We invited
you here
341
00:14:50,469 --> 00:14:52,336
because
we are a foursome.
342
00:14:52,404 --> 00:14:54,872
Yeah, see, that's funny,
'cause what I heard
343
00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:56,441
was that I'm not
skiing down a Mountain
344
00:14:56,508 --> 00:14:58,609
of freshly packed snow
with the wind in my face
345
00:14:58,677 --> 00:15:01,212
because you wanted
to set a precedent.
346
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,364
And because
we're a foursome!
347
00:15:03,431 --> 00:15:06,167
Why does nobody
remember this?!
348
00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:08,953
Kids, should I make
something for lunch,
349
00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:10,921
or have you made other
arrangements for that, too?
350
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,323
You-you know what,
Mrs. heffernan?
351
00:15:12,391 --> 00:15:14,492
If that guest room
is still available,
352
00:15:14,559 --> 00:15:16,560
we'd love
to use it tonight.
353
00:15:16,628 --> 00:15:18,629
That would be wonderful!
354
00:15:18,697 --> 00:15:21,499
You've made me
very, very happy.
355
00:15:34,078 --> 00:15:35,812
Well...
356
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,014
Brunch was nice.
357
00:15:42,536 --> 00:15:45,221
Now, you ready
for a little dessert?
358
00:15:47,975 --> 00:15:51,210
'Cause I'm gonna get
on you like hot fudge.
359
00:15:51,278 --> 00:15:52,361
What is wrong
with you, ok?
360
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:54,931
There's a bat
in our bathroom!
361
00:15:54,999 --> 00:15:57,266
And there's gonna be
some lovin' in the bedroom.
362
00:15:57,335 --> 00:15:59,336
Stop it, ok?!
363
00:15:59,403 --> 00:16:01,438
Have you noticed anything
that's gone on here?!
364
00:16:01,505 --> 00:16:02,973
I mean,
my mother hates us.
365
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,707
Our best friends hate us.
366
00:16:04,775 --> 00:16:06,226
This trip has turned evil!
367
00:16:06,377 --> 00:16:08,445
Ok, and for what?
What's it all for?
368
00:16:09,213 --> 00:16:12,231
For the precedent?
Ohh!
369
00:16:12,299 --> 00:16:13,783
Would you stop
with that precedent!
370
00:16:13,934 --> 00:16:18,070
I'm not even entirely sure
what it means.
371
00:16:18,138 --> 00:16:20,290
It means sweet freedom!
372
00:16:20,358 --> 00:16:21,257
Oh, my God, are you
really telling me
373
00:16:21,409 --> 00:16:24,778
you can't spend 3 days
with my parents?
374
00:16:24,845 --> 00:16:27,029
Let me fill you in
on something.
375
00:16:27,097 --> 00:16:28,298
I live every second
of my life
376
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,666
with an old man
who gets cereal
377
00:16:30,734 --> 00:16:35,205
by digging his ape-like hands
right into the box!
378
00:16:35,272 --> 00:16:38,308
All right, you don't need to
bring my father into this, ok?
379
00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:39,359
Oh, don't I?
380
00:16:39,426 --> 00:16:41,427
This is a man
who canceled our cable
381
00:16:41,495 --> 00:16:45,097
because they wouldn't pay him every
time they ran the movie Arthur!
382
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,038
Come on, he's not
that bad, Doug. I mean-
383
00:16:52,105 --> 00:16:54,474
no, you know what?
That's it.
384
00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:55,642
What-what
are you doing?
385
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,811
I'm packing. We're
staying at my parents' house
386
00:16:57,878 --> 00:16:58,812
like we should've
in the first place.
387
00:16:58,879 --> 00:17:00,529
No, Doug, we can't!
Deacon and Kelly
388
00:17:00,597 --> 00:17:02,799
are staying in their
guest bedroom anyway!
389
00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:04,584
That's all right. You know
what? We'll sleep on the floor,
390
00:17:04,652 --> 00:17:06,503
or we'll sleep in the bed
with my parents.
391
00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:08,521
God, my mother
would love that.
392
00:17:12,793 --> 00:17:13,809
So, you got your water,
393
00:17:13,961 --> 00:17:15,495
and here are
some extra pillows,
394
00:17:15,563 --> 00:17:17,997
and I put some tangerines in your room.
395
00:17:18,065 --> 00:17:19,799
Now, they told me at the
market that they were seedless,
396
00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:22,568
so if they're not,
I wanna know about it.
397
00:17:22,636 --> 00:17:24,120
Everything's great.
Thank you.
398
00:17:24,188 --> 00:17:25,121
We'll see you
in the morning.
399
00:17:25,189 --> 00:17:28,291
Good night.
How are you two doin'?
400
00:17:28,358 --> 00:17:30,426
Great.
Good.
401
00:17:30,494 --> 00:17:33,145
I'm so happy
you're here.
402
00:17:33,213 --> 00:17:35,181
I love you both.
403
00:17:41,455 --> 00:17:43,322
System armed.
404
00:17:43,390 --> 00:17:46,960
Remember, don't open
any doors or windows.
405
00:17:47,028 --> 00:17:48,361
Okey-doke.
406
00:17:56,303 --> 00:17:59,256
It's still
a little light out.
407
00:18:00,157 --> 00:18:01,941
It's bedtime.
408
00:18:23,397 --> 00:18:25,181
What are you doing?
I have to pee.
409
00:18:25,249 --> 00:18:27,033
Remember, don't flush.
410
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,134
Oh, come on.
411
00:18:28,201 --> 00:18:30,753
Carrie,
it's almost 9:15.
412
00:18:30,821 --> 00:18:32,121
Just...
413
00:18:32,189 --> 00:18:34,023
Pee in the tub.
414
00:18:40,114 --> 00:18:44,084
I am not going
to pee in the tub, ok?
415
00:18:44,151 --> 00:18:45,168
I begged you to go
after dinner!
416
00:18:45,236 --> 00:18:46,869
I didn't
have to go then!
417
00:18:46,937 --> 00:18:48,104
Well, then, you know what,
you lost your chance!
418
00:18:48,172 --> 00:18:49,739
Fine. I'll hold it.
419
00:18:51,157 --> 00:18:52,492
No, I can't hold it.
I gotta go, I gotta go.
420
00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:54,727
Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
Wait a second!
421
00:18:54,795 --> 00:18:56,579
Look, the rec center
down the hall
422
00:18:56,646 --> 00:18:57,664
is open till 10:00,
all right?
423
00:18:57,731 --> 00:18:59,699
They got
a beautiful bathroom.
424
00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:02,268
What? Doug, we
can't open the door.
425
00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:04,237
The frickin' alarm
is on!
426
00:19:06,090 --> 00:19:09,025
I may know the code.
427
00:19:09,093 --> 00:19:10,877
What?
428
00:19:10,945 --> 00:19:11,977
I heard my parents
talking,
429
00:19:12,045 --> 00:19:14,447
and I'm pretty sure
it's my birthday.
430
00:19:14,515 --> 00:19:15,564
Well, what are
you waiting for?
431
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,216
Let's go!
Open the door!
432
00:19:17,284 --> 00:19:19,218
But you go out, you do your
business, you come back.
433
00:19:19,286 --> 00:19:21,120
No one has to know.
Fine!
434
00:19:21,188 --> 00:19:23,056
All right.
435
00:19:23,123 --> 00:19:24,958
My birthday's, uh,
436
00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:29,862
February 9, 1965.
437
00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:31,864
What are you doing? I'm
loosening up my fingers!
438
00:19:31,932 --> 00:19:33,066
All right, come on.
439
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,834
Ok...
440
00:19:34,902 --> 00:19:37,386
That's, uh, 2...
441
00:19:37,454 --> 00:19:38,154
Wait a second. That
is my birthday, right?
442
00:19:38,306 --> 00:19:39,639
Doug, you don't know
your birthday?
443
00:19:39,707 --> 00:19:41,207
I blanked out.
Excuse me!
444
00:19:41,275 --> 00:19:42,642
Ok, come on.
445
00:19:45,179 --> 00:19:49,082
2... 9... 6... 5...
446
00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:51,484
Pound.
447
00:19:51,552 --> 00:19:53,586
System disarmed.
448
00:19:53,654 --> 00:19:55,938
Honey,
I love you!
449
00:19:56,006 --> 00:19:57,540
I love you, too.
Pee like the wind.
450
00:19:57,608 --> 00:19:58,791
All right, all right.
451
00:19:58,859 --> 00:20:00,660
Intruder detected.
452
00:20:00,728 --> 00:20:02,829
Oh, my God! What's going
on?! I did it right!
453
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:05,998
Is everybody ok?!
454
00:20:06,066 --> 00:20:07,216
What happened?!
455
00:20:07,284 --> 00:20:08,351
I saw the alarm switch off!
456
00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:11,420
I hit the panic button!
There's somebody in here!
457
00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:12,972
Ma-
458
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,140
there's nobody
in here, all right?
459
00:20:14,208 --> 00:20:15,574
I punched
in the code.
460
00:20:15,642 --> 00:20:17,093
Why would you
do that?!
461
00:20:17,161 --> 00:20:20,963
Oh, great.
Now I gotta pay $25.
462
00:20:21,031 --> 00:20:21,881
Everyone all right in here?
463
00:20:21,949 --> 00:20:23,232
Should I call
the real cops?
464
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,601
Loo-no.
465
00:20:25,669 --> 00:20:27,836
Everything's fine, ok?
It was an accident.
466
00:20:27,904 --> 00:20:29,189
Why would you fiddle
with the alarm?!
467
00:20:29,256 --> 00:20:31,657
You know
it's very complicated!
468
00:20:31,725 --> 00:20:34,494
You know where they don't
fiddle with the alarm?
469
00:20:36,463 --> 00:20:37,413
All right, people,
it's after 9:00.
470
00:20:37,481 --> 00:20:39,149
Back to bed. Let's go.
471
00:20:42,986 --> 00:20:45,705
I just wanted
to stay in a hotel.
472
00:20:50,744 --> 00:20:52,795
I got the food.
473
00:20:54,064 --> 00:20:55,665
You know,
with the a.C. Working,
474
00:20:55,733 --> 00:20:57,700
I'm not hatin'
being back here.
475
00:20:59,436 --> 00:21:01,070
Kell?
476
00:21:10,914 --> 00:21:14,216
Ok, girls, time
to get those t-shirts wet!
477
00:21:30,601 --> 00:21:32,968
Kelly?
478
00:21:33,036 --> 00:21:36,305
Woman, put a damn towel
around yourself!
33904
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof