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1
00:00:09,506 --> 00:00:11,942
Douglas, will you
please pass the catsup?
2
00:00:12,043 --> 00:00:13,443
The what?
3
00:00:13,511 --> 00:00:15,479
The catsup.
4
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:21,284
You mean the ketchup?
5
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:27,123
Educated people
pronounce it catsup.
6
00:00:27,191 --> 00:00:30,060
Not if they want me
to pass it to them.
7
00:00:30,144 --> 00:00:31,995
Fine. If that's the way
you're going to be,
8
00:00:32,063 --> 00:00:33,463
then I'll do without.
9
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,766
Not gonna happen,
old man.
10
00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:38,000
My burger's
getting cold.
11
00:00:38,068 --> 00:00:39,269
Just give me
the catsup!
12
00:00:39,337 --> 00:00:40,637
Ok, it's called ketchup.
13
00:00:40,705 --> 00:00:42,606
Say it right and you can have it. No.
14
00:00:42,673 --> 00:00:44,574
Say it. Say it. No.
15
00:00:44,659 --> 00:00:45,608
I will
never say it.
16
00:00:45,676 --> 00:00:48,778
I'd rather die
than say it.
17
00:00:48,830 --> 00:00:51,098
Then she's
staying over here.
18
00:00:51,165 --> 00:00:54,367
Me llamo ketchup.
19
00:00:54,368 --> 00:00:55,869
Fine.
20
00:00:55,936 --> 00:00:57,871
Then just say
good-bye to these.
21
00:00:57,938 --> 00:00:59,472
Ahh!
22
00:00:59,591 --> 00:01:00,740
Why you gotta do that?
23
00:01:00,808 --> 00:01:02,476
You want the catsup,
you can have the catsup.
24
00:01:02,543 --> 00:01:04,143
Here. God.
25
00:01:06,547 --> 00:01:07,481
Thank you.
That's enough.
26
00:01:07,548 --> 00:01:08,648
Ok, good.
27
00:01:08,716 --> 00:01:09,733
That's enough.
28
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:11,935
That's enough.
That's enough.
29
00:01:12,003 --> 00:01:13,269
That's enough!
30
00:01:13,337 --> 00:01:14,021
Oh, is that enough?
31
00:01:14,088 --> 00:01:15,404
Yes, that's enough.
That's enough.
32
00:01:15,472 --> 00:01:17,173
Than say it!
Say-say it!
33
00:01:17,241 --> 00:01:18,775
What?
Say what?!
34
00:01:18,843 --> 00:01:19,910
What's it called?!
35
00:01:19,978 --> 00:01:22,245
Ketchup!
36
00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:29,085
And that's how we learn.
37
00:02:06,406 --> 00:02:08,039
All right, what's next?
38
00:02:08,124 --> 00:02:12,511
"Put bracket c facing
left front quarter.
39
00:02:12,579 --> 00:02:16,114
Turn to align
with rear bracing leg."
40
00:02:19,219 --> 00:02:20,952
What?
41
00:02:21,054 --> 00:02:22,203
I think
it means the seat
42
00:02:22,271 --> 00:02:24,823
is supposed to connect
to bracket c.
43
00:02:24,891 --> 00:02:26,642
There's already
a wheel in bracket c.
44
00:02:26,709 --> 00:02:27,942
It's supposed
to be the seat.
45
00:02:28,010 --> 00:02:29,077
Yeah, well,
that ship has sailed.
46
00:02:29,145 --> 00:02:31,680
Come on, give me
something to put in slot h.
47
00:02:31,748 --> 00:02:35,049
I- I'd put the seat there.
48
00:02:36,469 --> 00:02:40,305
Put this right here,
right like that.
49
00:02:41,841 --> 00:02:45,810
Yeah, see? All done.
50
00:02:45,879 --> 00:02:47,929
All right.
That's right.
51
00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:49,114
All right, by the way,
major's not gonna be getting
52
00:02:49,182 --> 00:02:50,782
the greatest birthday present
from us either.
53
00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:53,352
We're a little short
on the dough-re-mi.
54
00:02:53,419 --> 00:02:54,269
Oh, yeah.
55
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:56,654
How's Carrie's
job hunt going?
56
00:02:56,722 --> 00:02:57,789
She's getting
a little desperate.
57
00:02:57,856 --> 00:02:59,340
Next time you call
a phone sex line,
58
00:02:59,408 --> 00:03:01,043
be nice just in case.
59
00:03:03,046 --> 00:03:05,046
Coming.
60
00:03:07,383 --> 00:03:08,450
Hi, dad.
61
00:03:08,518 --> 00:03:09,535
Hey, guys.
You have a good time?
62
00:03:09,602 --> 00:03:12,154
We made
Jesse's hamster fly.
63
00:03:12,222 --> 00:03:13,655
Really?
Well, he flew briefly.
64
00:03:13,723 --> 00:03:16,358
Let's just say he'll be
off the wheel for a while.
65
00:03:16,426 --> 00:03:18,810
You want to see my room?
66
00:03:18,878 --> 00:03:21,730
Hey, Sean. This is my
friend Doug heffernan.
67
00:03:21,798 --> 00:03:23,164
Doug heffernan?
68
00:03:23,232 --> 00:03:24,666
Did you go
to Saint Gregory's?
69
00:03:24,734 --> 00:03:25,851
Yeah.
70
00:03:25,918 --> 00:03:27,586
It's me. Sean McGee.
71
00:03:27,654 --> 00:03:29,437
Oh, hey, man. Hi!
72
00:03:29,505 --> 00:03:31,856
Hi! Hi!
How's it going?
73
00:03:31,925 --> 00:03:32,857
Good.
74
00:03:32,926 --> 00:03:36,428
Ah, all white guys
do know each other.
75
00:03:36,495 --> 00:03:39,064
Small world. What
have you been up to?
76
00:03:39,132 --> 00:03:41,383
Just working with Deacon
down at I.P.S.
77
00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:43,435
That's great. I'm a d.A.
Over in queens county.
78
00:03:43,503 --> 00:03:45,270
You know, putting away
the bad guys.
79
00:03:45,338 --> 00:03:46,921
Hey, dead man walking,
right?
80
00:03:46,989 --> 00:03:48,623
Ha ha ha!
81
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:50,958
Listen, I gotta go.
Hey, Jess!
82
00:03:51,026 --> 00:03:52,828
Great to see you.
83
00:03:52,896 --> 00:03:53,829
Are you gonna be
at major's party?
84
00:03:53,897 --> 00:03:55,063
Yup. I'll see you over there.
85
00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,532
Take care, deac.
Take care, man.
86
00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:58,233
Hey, you take care,
Doug.
87
00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,135
I'll see you later.
Be good.
88
00:04:00,203 --> 00:04:02,320
Ha ha ha ha.
89
00:04:02,388 --> 00:04:05,474
I hate
that son of a bitch.
90
00:04:05,541 --> 00:04:07,142
What?!
91
00:04:07,209 --> 00:04:08,843
It was seventh grade.
92
00:04:08,911 --> 00:04:10,161
I was in the cafeteria,
and I accidentally threw out
93
00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:12,230
my six million dollar man
thermos top.
94
00:04:12,298 --> 00:04:14,399
So I'm going through
the garbage looking for it,
95
00:04:14,467 --> 00:04:17,051
and Sean McGee
told everybody that I...
96
00:04:17,119 --> 00:04:19,954
Licked the trash can.
97
00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:25,928
Did you lick it?
98
00:04:25,979 --> 00:04:28,162
No! Why would I
lick a trash can?
99
00:04:28,231 --> 00:04:28,913
I don't know.
The same reason
100
00:04:29,065 --> 00:04:31,366
you lick the top
of the pizza box.
101
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,700
That's completely
different, all right?
102
00:04:32,769 --> 00:04:34,169
That's not trash yet.
103
00:04:34,270 --> 00:04:36,188
Anyway, he spread this
around the whole school,
104
00:04:36,255 --> 00:04:37,523
and for the entire year,
105
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,259
everybody called me
Doug heffer-can.
106
00:04:41,277 --> 00:04:43,178
All right, look, I'm gonna
see Sean on Wednesday night.
107
00:04:43,245 --> 00:04:45,513
I'll be sure to stay
away from any trash cans.
108
00:04:45,582 --> 00:04:47,182
Wait a second.
109
00:04:47,249 --> 00:04:48,784
I just told you
this guy is my enemy,
110
00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:50,819
and you're gonna
hang out with him?
111
00:04:50,953 --> 00:04:51,903
I'm not in love
with the guy.
112
00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:53,004
We're just playing
racquetball.
113
00:04:53,072 --> 00:04:54,673
Nobody else plays.
What am I supposed to do?
114
00:04:54,707 --> 00:04:56,908
Don't play with Sean McGee.
Play with me!
115
00:04:56,976 --> 00:04:58,126
You don't play.
116
00:04:58,194 --> 00:05:01,747
Don't play?
What, are you on pot?
117
00:05:01,814 --> 00:05:03,815
I love racquetball.
118
00:05:03,883 --> 00:05:05,700
Yeah? What color
are the balls?
119
00:05:05,768 --> 00:05:07,185
They vary.
120
00:05:09,037 --> 00:05:09,787
Look, give me
a chance, all right?
121
00:05:09,939 --> 00:05:11,039
If I don't give you
a good game,
122
00:05:11,106 --> 00:05:14,275
you can go play with
your friend Sean mcgay.
123
00:05:15,694 --> 00:05:19,380
Damn, I wish I'd thought
of that in junior high.
124
00:05:27,423 --> 00:05:30,091
Yeah.
125
00:05:30,159 --> 00:05:31,243
Yeah, I feel it.
126
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:32,944
Ok, next time you have
to stretch like that,
127
00:05:33,012 --> 00:05:35,880
I'm gonna have to ask you
to wear longer shorts.
128
00:05:35,948 --> 00:05:38,032
Yeah? And I'm gonna have
to ask you to stand back
129
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,634
because it's punish time.
130
00:05:39,702 --> 00:05:40,735
You're about
to be acquainted
131
00:05:40,803 --> 00:05:45,189
with my good friends
Hugh and Millie yayshin.
132
00:05:48,076 --> 00:05:50,312
Wassup?
133
00:05:54,166 --> 00:05:55,099
Ohh!
134
00:06:07,179 --> 00:06:08,363
Uhh!
135
00:06:09,882 --> 00:06:10,966
Uhh!
136
00:06:22,378 --> 00:06:23,512
All right,
I admit it, man.
137
00:06:23,579 --> 00:06:25,313
You got game.
Really?
138
00:06:25,381 --> 00:06:27,698
I think someone
owes me an apology.
139
00:06:27,766 --> 00:06:30,151
Oh, God.
140
00:06:30,219 --> 00:06:32,053
Damn!
141
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,172
All right, my serve.
142
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,341
I think
we're done here.
143
00:06:36,408 --> 00:06:39,277
Come on, that's fine.
Throw a little sawdust on it.
144
00:06:39,345 --> 00:06:40,545
Where you going?
145
00:06:40,647 --> 00:06:42,814
You're gonna call your
boyfriend, aren't you?
146
00:06:42,881 --> 00:06:44,098
At least he can play 4
points without showing me
147
00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:45,700
what he had
at the snack bar.
148
00:06:45,768 --> 00:06:47,652
Fine!
I don't need you!
149
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,221
But know this.
- If you're friends with my enemy,
150
00:06:50,289 --> 00:06:52,757
then you're
my enemy!
151
00:06:52,825 --> 00:06:55,460
Oh, God.
152
00:06:58,497 --> 00:07:02,167
So, uh, with Deacon gone,
how's this gonna work?
153
00:07:02,234 --> 00:07:04,853
Does everybody just move
up a slot, friend-wise?
154
00:07:06,321 --> 00:07:07,288
No.
155
00:07:07,356 --> 00:07:09,925
Well, I just mean,
you know,
156
00:07:09,992 --> 00:07:11,392
there was stuff
you used to do with Deacon,
157
00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:13,828
so I guess you'll be doing it
with one of us now.
158
00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:16,548
No.
159
00:07:16,616 --> 00:07:18,199
All right, that's cool.
160
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:21,235
Status quo.
161
00:07:21,303 --> 00:07:23,405
God, I really miss deac.
162
00:07:23,472 --> 00:07:25,607
I mean, the way
he got such a kick
163
00:07:25,674 --> 00:07:28,342
out of these
bud light commercials.
164
00:07:28,411 --> 00:07:30,111
There's a certain kind
of magic
165
00:07:30,178 --> 00:07:33,681
when a gentle giant laughs.
166
00:07:40,272 --> 00:07:41,306
Hey.
167
00:07:41,374 --> 00:07:42,574
Oh.
168
00:07:42,642 --> 00:07:43,808
What are you
doing here?
169
00:07:43,876 --> 00:07:45,309
Just came to get
my camcorder back.
170
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,478
I need it for
my kid's party tomorrow.
171
00:07:47,513 --> 00:07:49,414
Help yourself.
It's in the garage.
172
00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:50,865
The garage? Huh.
173
00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:52,951
Thanks for taking
such good care of it.
174
00:07:54,637 --> 00:07:56,237
Hey, deac.
175
00:07:56,272 --> 00:07:58,406
What's up?
176
00:07:58,524 --> 00:08:00,625
Ok, put your eyes
back in your head.
177
00:08:02,078 --> 00:08:03,411
Hello.
178
00:08:03,479 --> 00:08:04,846
Hi.
179
00:08:04,897 --> 00:08:05,546
Got a registered letter.
180
00:08:05,698 --> 00:08:07,365
Gonna need you
to sign for it.
181
00:08:09,568 --> 00:08:10,802
Hey, why don't you
come in for a second?
182
00:08:10,870 --> 00:08:11,903
You know,
I never sign anything
183
00:08:11,970 --> 00:08:13,638
without checking over
the fine print anyway.
184
00:08:13,706 --> 00:08:15,741
'Cause the next thing you know,
I'm somebody's Butler for life.
185
00:08:15,808 --> 00:08:17,442
You know
what I'm saying?
186
00:08:17,509 --> 00:08:18,993
Not at all, no.
187
00:08:19,061 --> 00:08:20,529
It's just
a standard letter.
188
00:08:20,596 --> 00:08:21,279
It's all right.
Come on in.
189
00:08:21,347 --> 00:08:23,281
Come on,
we'll check it out.
190
00:08:23,348 --> 00:08:24,899
Just take a seat right
here. Danny, get up.
191
00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:27,202
Ok, but I
only got a minute.
192
00:08:27,269 --> 00:08:28,503
Well, that's ok.
193
00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:31,072
"Doug heffernan."
194
00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:33,008
So far, so good.
195
00:08:33,142 --> 00:08:34,876
Listen, I really got
to hit the road here.
196
00:08:34,943 --> 00:08:37,478
Hit the road, man? You
kill me, bro! Ha ha ha!
197
00:08:37,546 --> 00:08:39,347
Oh, this is so awkward.
198
00:08:43,552 --> 00:08:45,219
What is?
199
00:08:45,287 --> 00:08:46,555
You just walking in
when I'm hanging out
200
00:08:46,622 --> 00:08:52,394
with my new friend...
Melvin... uspo.
201
00:08:52,461 --> 00:08:55,096
As in United States
post office?
202
00:08:56,082 --> 00:08:57,582
That's right,
come sleet or snow,
203
00:08:57,649 --> 00:09:00,218
he's my buddy.
Wassup?
204
00:09:02,921 --> 00:09:04,656
So you're trying to replace
me with another black guy.
205
00:09:04,723 --> 00:09:06,324
That's-that's classy.
206
00:09:06,391 --> 00:09:08,727
Hey, I don't care if my best
friend's black, white, or purple, ok?
207
00:09:08,795 --> 00:09:11,362
As long as he's got my back.
Ain't that right, Melvin?
208
00:09:11,431 --> 00:09:12,631
Actually, I
gotta hit the road.
209
00:09:12,698 --> 00:09:14,499
Listen, sign
that slip whenever.
210
00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:15,600
I'll pick it up
tomorrow.
211
00:09:15,668 --> 00:09:17,168
It is a date,
amigo.
212
00:09:17,236 --> 00:09:18,002
Yeah!
213
00:09:18,070 --> 00:09:19,353
Hey, Knicks fan.
214
00:09:19,421 --> 00:09:20,956
Marbury's doing
a nice job for 'em, huh?
215
00:09:21,023 --> 00:09:22,657
Yeah, I tell you,
though, I miss spree.
216
00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:23,925
I heard that.
217
00:09:23,993 --> 00:09:25,060
I'm actually heading
over to Cooper's
218
00:09:25,127 --> 00:09:26,127
to catch
the second half.
219
00:09:26,195 --> 00:09:27,128
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
220
00:09:27,196 --> 00:09:28,529
Oh, maybe I'll stop by
after my route.
221
00:09:31,133 --> 00:09:32,267
What are you doing?
222
00:09:32,334 --> 00:09:34,035
Trying to jazz up
my resume,
223
00:09:34,103 --> 00:09:35,870
see if I can get a
law firm to notice me.
224
00:09:35,938 --> 00:09:37,205
How's this sound?
225
00:09:37,273 --> 00:09:40,925
"Cleavage available
upon request."
226
00:09:42,344 --> 00:09:43,611
It sounds good.
Give it a try.
227
00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:45,046
What's the matter
with you?
228
00:09:45,113 --> 00:09:47,314
Friggin' Deacon.
229
00:09:47,382 --> 00:09:48,633
He's hanging out
with my arch-enemy.
230
00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:50,202
Their kids go
to school together.
231
00:09:50,269 --> 00:09:52,971
You have an arch-enemy?
232
00:09:53,039 --> 00:09:54,422
Yeah, Sean McGee.
233
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:55,823
In seventh grade,
he told everyone
234
00:09:55,892 --> 00:09:59,160
I licked a trash can.
235
00:09:59,228 --> 00:10:01,062
Did you?
236
00:10:01,130 --> 00:10:02,831
No.
237
00:10:02,898 --> 00:10:04,498
Why would I lick
a trash can?
238
00:10:04,566 --> 00:10:05,650
I don't know.
Didn't you once tell me
239
00:10:05,718 --> 00:10:08,853
you ate that feed
they have at petting zoos?
240
00:10:10,355 --> 00:10:12,824
My sister told me if I did,
I could grow a mustache.
241
00:10:18,697 --> 00:10:20,364
It's not the point, ok?
242
00:10:20,432 --> 00:10:22,233
I didn't lick a trash can.
243
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:23,518
Well, you know what?
You better get over it
244
00:10:23,586 --> 00:10:25,287
before major's
birthday party tomorrow
245
00:10:25,354 --> 00:10:27,522
because I don't want
to have any awkward scenes.
246
00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:28,389
There ain't gonna be
any awkward scenes
247
00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:29,674
'cause I ain't
going to any party
248
00:10:29,742 --> 00:10:31,208
that Sean McGee's
gonna be at.
249
00:10:31,276 --> 00:10:32,377
Doug, come on.
250
00:10:32,444 --> 00:10:35,547
This is over
a quarter of a century ago!
251
00:10:35,614 --> 00:10:37,782
Are you kidding me?
Am I hearing this right?
252
00:10:37,849 --> 00:10:39,584
You're telling me
I can't have one enemy?
253
00:10:39,652 --> 00:10:41,819
Let's go over
your enemy list, huh?
254
00:10:41,887 --> 00:10:43,437
What are you
talking about?
255
00:10:43,505 --> 00:10:44,989
Lorenzo's pizzeria.
I can't go there anymore
256
00:10:45,057 --> 00:10:46,157
because you had
a fight with the guy
257
00:10:46,225 --> 00:10:47,925
because he put too much
cheese on our pizza.
258
00:10:47,993 --> 00:10:49,260
Too much cheese.
259
00:10:49,328 --> 00:10:51,913
Insanity!
260
00:10:53,749 --> 00:10:55,433
Or how about
San remo dry cleaners, huh,
261
00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:58,336
where that little
Chinese girl sassed you?
262
00:10:58,404 --> 00:10:59,955
Yeah, I may not
have understood her,
263
00:11:00,022 --> 00:11:02,591
but she was all attitude.
264
00:11:02,658 --> 00:11:04,042
The point is,
I support you
265
00:11:04,109 --> 00:11:05,577
in everything
you hate.
266
00:11:05,645 --> 00:11:07,646
You know, the restaurants, the stores,
267
00:11:07,713 --> 00:11:09,648
magicians!
268
00:11:09,715 --> 00:11:11,182
If you hate it,
I hate it.
269
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:13,652
So why can't you back
me up on this one thing?
270
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,154
All right, you know, you.
- you're right.
271
00:11:17,189 --> 00:11:18,989
If Sean McGee
is your enemy,
272
00:11:19,057 --> 00:11:21,326
then he is
my enemy, too.
273
00:11:21,393 --> 00:11:22,026
Thank you.
274
00:11:22,094 --> 00:11:24,212
So we're not going
to major's party?
275
00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:25,547
We're not going
to major's party.
276
00:11:25,614 --> 00:11:27,014
Ok, I guess
I'll go over there
277
00:11:27,082 --> 00:11:29,333
and drop off
major's gift tonight.
278
00:11:29,401 --> 00:11:31,653
Wait a second. Is it
something I might want?
279
00:11:31,721 --> 00:11:34,339
Doug, it's a pair
of feety pajamas.
280
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,728
Does it
have a back-flap?
281
00:11:46,334 --> 00:11:48,502
All right, well, thanks for
the game. Take care, man.
282
00:11:48,569 --> 00:11:50,203
Oh, sorry.
Excuse me.
283
00:11:50,271 --> 00:11:51,738
I'm sorry.
Let me get that.
284
00:11:51,806 --> 00:11:53,106
Thank you.
285
00:11:53,174 --> 00:11:54,441
"From Doug and Carrie."
286
00:11:54,509 --> 00:11:56,677
Are you married
to Doug heffernan?
287
00:11:56,728 --> 00:11:57,694
Yeah.
288
00:11:57,762 --> 00:11:58,645
I'm Sean McGee.
289
00:11:58,713 --> 00:11:59,880
I went to school
with your husband.
290
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:03,550
Oh... yes.
291
00:12:04,769 --> 00:12:06,886
Sean McGee.
I know all about you.
292
00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:07,670
What does that mean?
293
00:12:07,822 --> 00:12:09,255
I think you know
what it means.
294
00:12:09,324 --> 00:12:11,891
Let me tell you
something, Sean.
295
00:12:11,959 --> 00:12:13,860
You mess with Doug,
you mess with me.
296
00:12:13,928 --> 00:12:15,462
Ok, you don't
want to mess with me
297
00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:18,264
because I will
take you down, ok?
298
00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:22,669
This is about the trash
can thing, isn't it? Yeah.
299
00:12:22,736 --> 00:12:24,204
Deacon told me he was
still upset about it.
300
00:12:24,272 --> 00:12:25,938
I just feel terrible
about that.
301
00:12:26,007 --> 00:12:27,040
As well you should.
302
00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:27,908
When I saw him
lick that thing,
303
00:12:27,976 --> 00:12:30,277
I really should have
just kept it to myself.
304
00:12:30,378 --> 00:12:34,097
Wait a minute.
So he really did lick it?
305
00:12:34,182 --> 00:12:36,766
Oh, yeah.
A couple of times.
306
00:12:38,353 --> 00:12:39,786
I should have just kept
my mouth shut, though.
307
00:12:39,854 --> 00:12:41,120
Just tell him
I'm sorry, would you?
308
00:12:41,189 --> 00:12:42,355
I gotta get out of here.
309
00:12:42,423 --> 00:12:44,474
I got 4 big cases
I'm prosecuting,
310
00:12:44,541 --> 00:12:46,176
and my secretary
just quit.
311
00:12:46,227 --> 00:12:48,077
Oh, you're a lawyer?
Yeah.
312
00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:49,529
And your secretary
just quit?
313
00:12:49,597 --> 00:12:50,797
Yeah, a couple days ago.
314
00:12:50,865 --> 00:12:51,898
I don't know how
I'm gonna replace her.
315
00:12:51,966 --> 00:12:53,933
Oh, 'cause I used
to be a legal secretary.
316
00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:58,355
Yeah, I was at kaplan,
hornstein & steckler.
317
00:12:58,422 --> 00:13:00,257
Oh, it's a good firm.
I've heard of them.
318
00:13:00,325 --> 00:13:01,558
Well, I would
ask you to come in
319
00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:02,926
and, you know,
do an interview,
320
00:13:02,994 --> 00:13:04,794
but we have a policy
against hiring people
321
00:13:04,862 --> 00:13:06,763
who want to
"take me down."
322
00:13:06,831 --> 00:13:07,531
That's funny.
323
00:13:07,598 --> 00:13:09,015
Hang on.
324
00:13:09,083 --> 00:13:10,751
Sean, I'll walk
with you, babe.
325
00:13:14,305 --> 00:13:15,238
I can't believe this.
326
00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:16,406
He is my enemy.
327
00:13:16,474 --> 00:13:18,174
I couldn't have been
more clear about that!
328
00:13:18,242 --> 00:13:19,892
Yes, and isn't that
what they say?
329
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,896
"Keep your friends close,
but your enemies closer"?
330
00:13:23,964 --> 00:13:28,952
This way I can keep tabs
on him 24/7.
331
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:31,388
I can take him down
from the inside!
332
00:13:31,456 --> 00:13:33,056
You know what, this
is not happening.
333
00:13:33,124 --> 00:13:34,424
There's no way.
334
00:13:34,492 --> 00:13:36,826
Doug, I can't believe you're
not gonna let me take a job
335
00:13:36,894 --> 00:13:40,763
because you licked a
trash can when you were 12.
336
00:13:40,831 --> 00:13:43,266
Whoa.
337
00:13:43,334 --> 00:13:45,868
Are you telling me you think
I licked that trash can?
338
00:13:45,936 --> 00:13:48,054
Look, all I know is
Sean is pretty convinced
339
00:13:48,122 --> 00:13:49,522
in what he saw.
340
00:13:49,590 --> 00:13:51,374
And you believe him
over me?
341
00:13:51,441 --> 00:13:52,175
Look, I don't know,
maybe there was
342
00:13:52,243 --> 00:13:53,660
something good
on the trash can!
343
00:13:53,728 --> 00:13:57,431
You know, some leftover sloppy
Joe, some chocolate sauce.
344
00:13:57,498 --> 00:13:58,732
Who can blame ya?
345
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,684
I never licked it, ok?
For the last time,
346
00:14:01,752 --> 00:14:03,987
my head was in that trash
can because I was looking for
347
00:14:04,055 --> 00:14:06,556
my six million dollar
man thermos top!
348
00:14:06,623 --> 00:14:08,741
Look, you licked it,
you didn't lick it,
349
00:14:08,809 --> 00:14:10,376
what's the difference?
350
00:14:10,444 --> 00:14:11,445
There's
a big difference!
351
00:14:11,595 --> 00:14:15,198
One way,
I licked a trash can!
352
00:14:15,266 --> 00:14:16,399
The other way, I didn't!
353
00:14:16,466 --> 00:14:18,434
And I didn't.
354
00:14:18,502 --> 00:14:21,704
Ok, and Sean feels
really bad about this.
355
00:14:21,772 --> 00:14:23,106
Please, just come
to the party
356
00:14:23,174 --> 00:14:25,875
and let Sean
make it up to you.
357
00:14:25,943 --> 00:14:28,878
I will not step foot
at any party
358
00:14:28,946 --> 00:14:32,249
or anywhere else
that man will be.
359
00:14:32,316 --> 00:14:34,084
He is my enemy,
360
00:14:34,152 --> 00:14:36,786
and now
you are my enemy.
361
00:14:38,256 --> 00:14:40,140
Ok, you know what,
you are being ridiculous.
362
00:14:40,207 --> 00:14:42,776
I am gonna go live
in a world with adults.
363
00:14:42,843 --> 00:14:44,443
You can stay
in the seventh grade
364
00:14:44,511 --> 00:14:46,379
and lick your trash cans
by yourself.
365
00:14:47,298 --> 00:14:48,247
Traitor!
366
00:14:48,315 --> 00:14:50,450
Trash can licker!
367
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,188
Ok, I'm off
to major's party.
368
00:14:55,255 --> 00:14:57,157
You know,
you can still come.
369
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:59,109
Hmm, thanks.
Nah, I think I'll stay home
370
00:14:59,176 --> 00:15:02,678
and enjoy my extra cheesy
lorenzo's pizza.
371
00:15:04,248 --> 00:15:07,350
Whoops. I got a little
cheese on my shirt.
372
00:15:07,418 --> 00:15:08,618
That's no problem
because I know
373
00:15:08,685 --> 00:15:11,521
a little sassy Chinese girl
who'll get that right out.
374
00:15:18,996 --> 00:15:22,132
Ooh, pizza pie.
May I?
375
00:15:22,183 --> 00:15:23,366
Yeah, you can
have the rest, actually.
376
00:15:23,434 --> 00:15:25,902
It's pretty bad.
377
00:15:25,970 --> 00:15:28,371
Well, I know
what you're eating.
378
00:15:28,439 --> 00:15:32,141
My question is,
what's eating you?
379
00:15:33,327 --> 00:15:36,262
Just Deacon and Carrie.
380
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:38,431
What's the problem?
381
00:15:38,499 --> 00:15:40,433
In seventh grade,
I had this enemy,
382
00:15:40,501 --> 00:15:44,070
and, well, Carrie
and Deacon are siding
383
00:15:44,138 --> 00:15:45,605
with him over me.
384
00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:47,306
What's your beef
with this fellow?
385
00:15:47,325 --> 00:15:51,794
He told everyone
I licked a trash can.
386
00:15:51,862 --> 00:15:54,980
Did you?
387
00:15:55,048 --> 00:15:58,718
No, but he told
everyone I did.
388
00:15:58,786 --> 00:16:01,654
Douglas,
there's no shame
389
00:16:01,722 --> 00:16:04,023
in being
a trash can licker.
390
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,879
Never licked it.
391
00:16:08,946 --> 00:16:11,347
Well, I know from
whence you come.
392
00:16:11,415 --> 00:16:14,017
I, too, had
a boyhood enemy.
393
00:16:14,084 --> 00:16:15,485
He got me
kicked out of school
394
00:16:15,553 --> 00:16:20,757
when he claimed I stole
his moe berg baseball card.
395
00:16:20,825 --> 00:16:22,442
Why did he say that?
396
00:16:22,509 --> 00:16:24,961
Well, because
I had stolen it.
397
00:16:25,028 --> 00:16:28,197
I loved it, and I wanted it for myself.
398
00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:32,085
Anyway, do you know
who this pale kid
399
00:16:32,153 --> 00:16:35,705
with the big mouth
turned out to be?
400
00:16:35,773 --> 00:16:39,475
TV journalist and
celebrity suckhound
401
00:16:39,543 --> 00:16:41,945
Larry king.
402
00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:49,034
Ok, great.
Thanks for the talk.
403
00:16:49,102 --> 00:16:51,203
My point is
when he became a success
404
00:16:51,272 --> 00:16:52,922
I was mad
at everyone but him.
405
00:16:52,989 --> 00:16:55,408
CNN, his sponsors,
406
00:16:55,476 --> 00:16:58,961
the suspender industry.
407
00:16:59,029 --> 00:17:01,998
If I had just focused
on hating him,
408
00:17:02,065 --> 00:17:06,102
I would have saved myself
a lot of heartache.
409
00:17:06,169 --> 00:17:08,137
You know what?
You're right.
410
00:17:08,205 --> 00:17:10,373
Sean McGee's
my problem here.
411
00:17:10,441 --> 00:17:11,574
I'm going
to major's party.
412
00:17:11,642 --> 00:17:12,709
I'm gonna take care
of this right now.
413
00:17:12,776 --> 00:17:14,043
Whoa, whoa.
Hold the phone.
414
00:17:14,111 --> 00:17:15,811
Major's
having a party?
415
00:17:15,879 --> 00:17:16,580
Yeah.
416
00:17:16,714 --> 00:17:18,632
And I wasn't invited?
417
00:17:18,699 --> 00:17:23,720
That fickle little bastard
just crossed the wrong guy.
418
00:17:32,713 --> 00:17:33,913
What are you
doing here?
419
00:17:33,981 --> 00:17:36,349
I came down to take care
of a little business.
420
00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:37,550
Uh-huh.
421
00:17:37,618 --> 00:17:38,685
Am I gonna have
to kick your ass
422
00:17:38,752 --> 00:17:40,186
at my kid's
birthday party?
423
00:17:40,238 --> 00:17:42,689
No, no, we're cool.
424
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:45,308
I just need to have
a little chat with...
425
00:17:45,526 --> 00:17:47,744
Sean McGee.
426
00:17:48,879 --> 00:17:50,680
Hey, Sean!
427
00:17:50,748 --> 00:17:51,914
Would you come on down for a second?
428
00:17:51,982 --> 00:17:53,082
I need
to talk to you.
429
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:53,950
Could we do it later?
430
00:17:54,017 --> 00:17:55,368
I'm trying to play
with my kid here.
431
00:17:55,435 --> 00:17:56,502
No, not later.
432
00:17:56,570 --> 00:17:57,704
Now.
433
00:17:57,771 --> 00:17:59,605
Just give me
5 minutes.
434
00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:25,064
Hey.
435
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,401
Hey, you're not supposed
to be wearing shoes up here.
436
00:18:28,468 --> 00:18:30,603
Whatever.
Look, I know.
437
00:18:30,671 --> 00:18:32,539
Carrie's gonna be working
for you, and that's great.
438
00:18:32,606 --> 00:18:36,409
It's just I think we need to
clear the air between us first.
439
00:18:36,476 --> 00:18:38,828
Doug, about all that,
I know it's no excuse,
440
00:18:38,895 --> 00:18:40,663
but I was a stupid kid,
all right?
441
00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:43,699
I'm sorry I told everybody
you licked a trash can.
442
00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:45,401
Really?
443
00:18:45,469 --> 00:18:46,519
Yeah, I feel terrible
444
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,487
you've been carrying that
around all these years.
445
00:18:48,555 --> 00:18:51,490
You know, I just hope
you accept my apology.
446
00:18:51,558 --> 00:18:54,410
Well, yeah, I do.
447
00:18:54,478 --> 00:18:56,145
Thanks for
saying something.
448
00:18:56,213 --> 00:18:57,413
No problem.
449
00:18:57,481 --> 00:18:58,815
See you around
the pi�ata.
450
00:18:58,883 --> 00:18:59,816
Ok.
451
00:19:02,986 --> 00:19:04,387
Wait.
452
00:19:06,139 --> 00:19:08,808
I just want to clear
something up here.
453
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:10,059
What, Doug?
454
00:19:10,126 --> 00:19:11,661
You said you were sorry
you told everyone
455
00:19:11,729 --> 00:19:14,464
that I licked
the trash can.
456
00:19:14,531 --> 00:19:16,549
But you never apologized
for making up the fact
457
00:19:16,616 --> 00:19:17,750
that I licked it.
458
00:19:17,818 --> 00:19:20,887
But you did.
No, I didn't.
459
00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:23,222
Doug, I saw you
lick the trash can.
460
00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:25,357
Ok, for the last time,
I was looking for
461
00:19:25,426 --> 00:19:27,727
my six million dollar
man thermos top.
462
00:19:27,795 --> 00:19:30,729
Can I just play
with my kid?
463
00:19:30,797 --> 00:19:31,730
Excuse me.
464
00:19:31,798 --> 00:19:33,466
It's ok.
I work here.
465
00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:35,768
Look, you can play
with your kid
466
00:19:35,836 --> 00:19:36,686
as soon as
you admit to me
467
00:19:36,754 --> 00:19:38,171
that I didn't
lick it.
468
00:19:38,238 --> 00:19:40,289
Ok, you didn't lick
the trash can.
469
00:19:40,357 --> 00:19:42,959
Ok, I'm sorry
I made that up.
470
00:19:43,027 --> 00:19:46,746
Ok, you just said "made it
up" as if it were in quotes.
471
00:19:46,814 --> 00:19:47,863
Doug, this
is ridiculous, ok?
472
00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:49,299
Can we please forget it?
473
00:19:49,366 --> 00:19:50,667
Are you hungry?
474
00:19:50,734 --> 00:19:51,801
Because I think
I saw some pudding
475
00:19:51,868 --> 00:19:52,835
in the garbage
over there
476
00:19:52,903 --> 00:19:54,304
and it had your name
written all over it,
477
00:19:54,371 --> 00:19:56,038
heffer-can.
478
00:19:56,106 --> 00:19:58,508
Aah!
479
00:20:04,415 --> 00:20:08,001
Aah! Uhh!
480
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:09,902
Admit it!
Admit it!
481
00:20:10,004 --> 00:20:11,704
Admit I didn't
lick it!
482
00:20:11,771 --> 00:20:12,771
Heffer-can!
483
00:20:12,839 --> 00:20:14,240
Aah!
484
00:20:14,308 --> 00:20:15,475
Heffer-can!
485
00:20:15,542 --> 00:20:17,176
No! No!
486
00:20:17,244 --> 00:20:18,244
Trash sucker!
487
00:20:18,312 --> 00:20:21,481
No! No such thing
never happened!
488
00:20:24,218 --> 00:20:26,919
Hey, did you see Sean?
489
00:20:32,459 --> 00:20:33,759
Aah!
490
00:20:39,850 --> 00:20:42,569
Oh, my God.
491
00:20:42,636 --> 00:20:44,587
Aah!
492
00:20:47,824 --> 00:20:48,891
Hey.
493
00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:51,060
Aah!
494
00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:54,547
Crap.
495
00:21:09,396 --> 00:21:11,164
How could you?
496
00:21:11,232 --> 00:21:13,132
You know I would
have loved this.
34111
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