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1
00:00:13,827 --> 00:00:16,446
Doug, looking at your
watch every 30 seconds
2
00:00:16,514 --> 00:00:19,749
is not gonna make the
Chinese food come any faster.
3
00:00:22,953 --> 00:00:25,371
You hate that
that just rang, don't you?
4
00:00:29,226 --> 00:00:30,794
Oh!
5
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:32,462
You could not
smell better.
6
00:00:32,530 --> 00:00:34,330
All right,
what's the damage?
7
00:00:34,398 --> 00:00:35,566
24.50.
8
00:00:35,633 --> 00:00:38,101
All right.
9
00:00:38,169 --> 00:00:39,469
Carrie, can you
get your purse?
10
00:00:39,536 --> 00:00:40,570
'Cause I'm out of cash.
11
00:00:40,637 --> 00:00:41,621
I don't have any cash.
12
00:00:41,689 --> 00:00:42,823
I thought
you went to the atm.
13
00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:44,858
I thought you
went to the atm.
14
00:00:44,926 --> 00:00:46,192
You, uh,
take credit cards?
15
00:00:46,260 --> 00:00:48,311
No. This is not happening.
16
00:00:48,379 --> 00:00:50,280
All right,
you stay there.
17
00:00:50,348 --> 00:00:52,082
Don't take her away.
18
00:00:55,386 --> 00:00:57,287
Uh, what
are you doing?
19
00:00:57,355 --> 00:00:58,588
I'm lookin' for money.
20
00:00:58,656 --> 00:01:01,358
When was the last time you
dropped 24.50 under the cushions?
21
00:01:01,425 --> 00:01:03,894
When is the last time you
got off your ass and helped?
22
00:01:06,164 --> 00:01:07,997
Maybe he'll take
something else,
23
00:01:08,066 --> 00:01:09,266
like a trade
or something.
24
00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:11,384
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
25
00:01:11,452 --> 00:01:12,519
All right.
26
00:01:20,561 --> 00:01:22,762
What are you doing?
27
00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:24,230
Don't you worry
what I'm doing.
28
00:01:24,298 --> 00:01:25,966
You just
get the forks.
29
00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:27,617
Maybe you pay me
next time.
30
00:01:27,685 --> 00:01:30,754
Oh. Ok.
31
00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:34,591
Thanks.
32
00:01:40,481 --> 00:01:43,183
I knew Chinese food
way before I knew you.
33
00:02:25,725 --> 00:02:27,742
Doug, did you notice
that we have
34
00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:30,245
4 bottles of shampoo in the
shower that are all empty?
35
00:02:30,313 --> 00:02:32,247
Yeah,
I saw that.
36
00:02:32,315 --> 00:02:35,317
If you saw that, how come
you didn't throw them away?
37
00:02:35,384 --> 00:02:36,968
Uh, 'cause I wanted to give
you the chance to see 'em
38
00:02:37,036 --> 00:02:39,321
so we could have
this fun conversation.
39
00:02:39,388 --> 00:02:41,206
Just take them
to the recycler, ok?
40
00:02:41,274 --> 00:02:44,342
Take the garbage
out, too.
41
00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:46,778
I got a sharp pain
in my side this morning.
42
00:02:46,846 --> 00:02:48,747
I must have pulled
something last night.
43
00:02:48,815 --> 00:02:50,281
I told you,
it's killing me.
44
00:02:50,349 --> 00:02:52,984
Ok, Doug, do you really
want to play this card
45
00:02:53,053 --> 00:02:55,787
to get out of a 4-foot walk
to the garbage can?
46
00:02:55,855 --> 00:02:57,623
'Cause there's
a cat show coming up-
47
00:02:57,690 --> 00:02:59,024
ok! All right!
48
00:03:05,465 --> 00:03:07,633
Ahhh, it's hurting.
49
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:10,469
I'm feelin' it.
I'm feelin' it.
50
00:03:10,537 --> 00:03:11,537
Uh-huh.
51
00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:17,910
Oh, God!
52
00:03:21,013 --> 00:03:23,549
Ok, Doug,
lying in garbage,
53
00:03:23,616 --> 00:03:25,050
that's real mature.
54
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:27,486
Oh, I like
the tuna can hat.
55
00:03:27,554 --> 00:03:28,954
That's a good look.
56
00:03:29,021 --> 00:03:31,006
Now get up, Doug.
57
00:03:32,108 --> 00:03:34,960
Doug?
58
00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:41,583
Dr. Garcia,
how is he?
59
00:03:41,651 --> 00:03:43,719
He's gonna be fine.
60
00:03:43,786 --> 00:03:45,053
Luckily his appendix
hadn't burst yet,
61
00:03:45,121 --> 00:03:46,321
and we got it out
just in time.
62
00:03:46,389 --> 00:03:47,656
Oh, thank God.
63
00:03:47,724 --> 00:03:48,857
Listen, he wanted me
64
00:03:48,925 --> 00:03:50,091
to bring it home
for him in a jar.
65
00:03:50,159 --> 00:03:51,960
If that's a problem,
66
00:03:52,028 --> 00:03:53,061
you could just put
a radish in there.
67
00:03:53,129 --> 00:03:54,796
He won't know
the difference.
68
00:03:54,864 --> 00:03:56,598
Anyway, I'm just gonna
need him back here next week
69
00:03:56,666 --> 00:03:58,066
to take
the stitches out.
70
00:03:58,134 --> 00:03:59,634
Ok. Can I see him?
71
00:03:59,702 --> 00:04:00,768
Sure. He's probably
still sleeping
72
00:04:00,836 --> 00:04:01,803
the anesthesia off.
73
00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:04,472
If you need anything,
just buzz Candace.
74
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:06,174
Ok. Thank you.
75
00:04:09,345 --> 00:04:10,579
Doug?
76
00:04:10,646 --> 00:04:11,996
Sweetie?
77
00:04:17,436 --> 00:04:20,805
The doctor said you're
gonna be fine, honey.
78
00:04:20,873 --> 00:04:22,857
Ohh.
79
00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:24,709
I feel awful about this.
80
00:04:24,777 --> 00:04:27,579
I know I should
have believed you
81
00:04:27,646 --> 00:04:28,780
when you said
you were in pain.
82
00:04:28,848 --> 00:04:32,083
It's just that...
You lie to me so much.
83
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,756
Will you ever forgive me?
84
00:04:37,823 --> 00:04:39,391
Yeah...
85
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:41,693
Candace.
86
00:04:41,761 --> 00:04:43,211
Candace the nurse?
87
00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:44,646
Honey, you want me
to get the nurse for you?
88
00:04:44,714 --> 00:04:46,798
So hot, Candace.
89
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:50,017
Doug, it's Carrie.
90
00:04:50,085 --> 00:04:51,269
Laura...
91
00:04:53,256 --> 00:04:55,807
That's good, Inez.
92
00:04:55,875 --> 00:04:58,009
That tickles.
93
00:05:00,813 --> 00:05:02,731
Aw, come on, Jenna.
94
00:05:05,551 --> 00:05:07,618
Yeah...
95
00:05:07,686 --> 00:05:09,621
That's it, car...
96
00:05:09,672 --> 00:05:12,274
Come on, car...
97
00:05:13,342 --> 00:05:14,910
roline.
98
00:05:17,263 --> 00:05:18,630
Ok.
99
00:05:23,969 --> 00:05:25,970
Carrie!
100
00:05:27,573 --> 00:05:29,374
Carrie,
is lunch ready?!
101
00:05:29,442 --> 00:05:31,176
Sure, you know my name
102
00:05:31,244 --> 00:05:32,677
when you want food.
103
00:05:36,382 --> 00:05:37,131
Oh, hi.
104
00:05:37,199 --> 00:05:38,499
Hi.
105
00:05:38,567 --> 00:05:40,118
This band-aid's
been itching me.
106
00:05:40,186 --> 00:05:41,386
Let me get that
for ya.
107
00:05:41,454 --> 00:05:42,487
Ow!
108
00:05:42,555 --> 00:05:43,821
What are you doin?!
109
00:05:43,889 --> 00:05:44,990
Well, you were
just pickin' at it
110
00:05:45,057 --> 00:05:46,074
like a little girl, ok?
111
00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:47,425
It was annoying.
112
00:05:47,493 --> 00:05:48,359
You've been snapping
at me all day.
113
00:05:48,511 --> 00:05:49,511
What's up?
114
00:05:49,578 --> 00:05:52,180
Why don't you ask Inez
what's up?
115
00:05:53,332 --> 00:05:56,167
Inez? You mean the girl
from lenscrafters?
116
00:05:56,235 --> 00:05:58,703
You tell me.
117
00:05:58,771 --> 00:06:00,388
What are you
talking about?
118
00:06:00,456 --> 00:06:02,974
Ok. Well, while you were in
the hospital after the surgery,
119
00:06:03,042 --> 00:06:05,810
when you were sleeping, you were
moaning all these girls' names.
120
00:06:05,878 --> 00:06:07,145
What?
Yeah.
121
00:06:07,213 --> 00:06:08,563
"Oh, Candace!
122
00:06:08,631 --> 00:06:10,264
"Oh, Inez!
123
00:06:10,332 --> 00:06:11,967
Ooh, Tanya."
124
00:06:12,034 --> 00:06:13,852
Sickening.
125
00:06:13,919 --> 00:06:15,987
No, those weren't girls.
126
00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:18,790
I was having a dream
where I was helping someone
127
00:06:18,858 --> 00:06:21,276
name a litter of puppies.
128
00:06:24,430 --> 00:06:26,097
Oh.
129
00:06:29,184 --> 00:06:32,387
Well, apparently 2 puppies
named Britney and Christina
130
00:06:32,454 --> 00:06:35,290
were making out with you
in a limo.
131
00:06:37,493 --> 00:06:39,444
That's 'cause I had treats
in my pocket.
132
00:06:49,322 --> 00:06:51,056
I- fine. Look,
133
00:06:51,123 --> 00:06:52,657
maybe I was having
some kind of crazy dream,
134
00:06:52,724 --> 00:06:54,742
but you-you know
I love you!
135
00:06:54,877 --> 00:06:56,444
You know I'm totally
attracted to you.
136
00:06:56,512 --> 00:06:58,780
It's just, like any guy,
137
00:06:58,848 --> 00:07:01,116
once in a while a...
138
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,418
Image of another woman
just pops into my head,
139
00:07:03,486 --> 00:07:04,886
for, like, a second!
140
00:07:05,088 --> 00:07:08,440
But you're m'lady.
You're m'hon-ay.
141
00:07:08,507 --> 00:07:09,558
Oh, that's funny,
142
00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:12,961
'cause your hon-ay's
name didn't come up.
143
00:07:13,029 --> 00:07:15,781
Yeah. There was a car...
144
00:07:15,798 --> 00:07:16,915
Roline...
145
00:07:16,983 --> 00:07:19,217
And, uh, a car...
146
00:07:19,285 --> 00:07:20,802
Washgirl,
147
00:07:20,936 --> 00:07:22,821
but no "Carrie."
148
00:07:22,888 --> 00:07:26,207
That's 'cause I don't need
to fantasize about you, ok?
149
00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:27,693
You're the living fantasy
150
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:28,659
that I'm honored
to share my-
151
00:07:28,727 --> 00:07:30,244
oh, would you
shut up?
152
00:07:30,312 --> 00:07:33,064
Look, I know it's
normal, ok? But, I mean,
153
00:07:33,132 --> 00:07:35,183
there I was in the hospital
room feeling sorry for you,
154
00:07:35,251 --> 00:07:36,100
and the next thing
I know,
155
00:07:36,168 --> 00:07:37,986
you're fantasizing
about cheating on me
156
00:07:38,054 --> 00:07:39,720
with all these skanks!
157
00:07:39,788 --> 00:07:41,189
It hurts!
158
00:07:41,257 --> 00:07:42,507
I wasn't cheating, ok?
159
00:07:42,575 --> 00:07:44,242
Doug,
we're married, ok?
160
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:47,061
I'm your wife, and you're doing
stuff in your head with them.
161
00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:48,880
How is that
not cheating?
162
00:07:48,948 --> 00:07:51,750
It's just not.
How?
163
00:07:51,817 --> 00:07:53,251
You're not...
164
00:07:53,319 --> 00:07:54,469
There.
165
00:07:54,536 --> 00:07:55,887
I'm not there. What,
I'm not in the room?
166
00:07:55,954 --> 00:07:57,989
I'm not
in the country, what?
167
00:07:58,057 --> 00:08:00,125
You're not...
168
00:08:00,192 --> 00:08:01,893
Alive.
169
00:08:05,031 --> 00:08:06,447
Ok, so let me
get this straight.
170
00:08:06,515 --> 00:08:08,799
In your fantasies,
171
00:08:08,867 --> 00:08:11,252
you kill me?
172
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,638
No. No, I don't.
173
00:08:13,706 --> 00:08:15,957
It's the rare disease
that kills you.
174
00:08:17,727 --> 00:08:20,445
Or the bolt of lightning.
175
00:08:20,513 --> 00:08:22,063
Definitely not me.
176
00:08:22,131 --> 00:08:24,065
Ow! That wasn't ready
to come off yet!
177
00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:26,334
I can't believe
what I'm hearing here!
178
00:08:26,401 --> 00:08:27,502
Let me explain, ok?
179
00:08:27,569 --> 00:08:28,703
Please, Doug.
Explain to me
180
00:08:28,771 --> 00:08:31,289
why I shouldn't be upset
that you want me dead!
181
00:08:31,356 --> 00:08:32,541
Look, I don't want
you dead, all right?
182
00:08:32,608 --> 00:08:34,426
You got it all wrong.
I mean...
183
00:08:34,493 --> 00:08:36,160
The truth is,
184
00:08:36,228 --> 00:08:38,196
I love you so much
185
00:08:38,263 --> 00:08:41,699
that I could never even
imagine cheating on you,
186
00:08:41,768 --> 00:08:43,501
so the only way I can
have any fantasies at all
187
00:08:43,569 --> 00:08:45,353
is if you're...
188
00:08:45,421 --> 00:08:46,821
Up there.
189
00:08:51,777 --> 00:08:54,629
So to avoid
the guilt of adultery,
190
00:08:54,696 --> 00:08:56,564
you choose murder?
191
00:08:56,632 --> 00:08:58,583
Again, not murder.
192
00:08:58,651 --> 00:09:00,368
In my fantasies,
193
00:09:00,436 --> 00:09:03,237
you're always taken
from me tragically.
194
00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:06,390
I'm devastated.
195
00:09:06,409 --> 00:09:09,444
I give myself 2 years
to grieve.
196
00:09:09,511 --> 00:09:10,562
After that,
197
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:13,431
even your friends are like,
"you gotta move on."
198
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:17,602
And would one of
those friends be Lisa,
199
00:09:17,669 --> 00:09:19,704
my friend you're
always checking out?
200
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:23,508
She may be one of
those consoling me, yes.
201
00:09:23,576 --> 00:09:25,893
And do you end up
sleeping with her?
202
00:09:25,961 --> 00:09:28,013
God sakes,
it's been 2 years!
203
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:29,931
Oh, my God! Ok.
204
00:09:29,998 --> 00:09:31,332
So what I'm getting here
205
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,000
is I'm electrocuted
206
00:09:33,069 --> 00:09:34,686
and you're
boffing my friends.
207
00:09:34,753 --> 00:09:36,020
No, no, it's usually
not your friends!
208
00:09:36,088 --> 00:09:37,789
That's not typical
at all.
209
00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:39,157
What is typical, Doug?
Ohh!
210
00:09:39,224 --> 00:09:40,675
Do you really
wanna open this box?
211
00:09:40,743 --> 00:09:42,677
Yes, I think I do.
212
00:09:42,745 --> 00:09:44,112
All right, fine.
213
00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:45,914
Like...
214
00:09:45,982 --> 00:09:48,133
I'm in the park,
215
00:09:48,201 --> 00:09:49,534
grieving...
216
00:09:50,636 --> 00:09:52,570
Just trying to heal,
217
00:09:52,638 --> 00:09:54,772
trying to quiet
the endless scream
218
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,525
in my soul...
219
00:09:57,593 --> 00:10:00,428
When a chick in a sports bra
comes over to me.
220
00:10:02,414 --> 00:10:04,132
Uh-huh.
But it's innocent, you know?
221
00:10:04,199 --> 00:10:05,249
We just start talking,
222
00:10:05,351 --> 00:10:06,751
and then I introduce
her to Bobby.
223
00:10:06,819 --> 00:10:09,020
Who's Bobby?
He's our son.
224
00:10:09,087 --> 00:10:10,388
We have a son?!
225
00:10:10,455 --> 00:10:11,656
He's the part of you
that lives on.
226
00:10:11,723 --> 00:10:13,324
All right, I don't
wanna hear any more.
227
00:10:13,392 --> 00:10:15,176
Wait! You know what? There's
a lot of judging me here.
228
00:10:15,243 --> 00:10:16,444
What about you?
229
00:10:16,511 --> 00:10:18,630
You know, you fantasize
about other men, right?
230
00:10:18,697 --> 00:10:21,483
Yeah, occasionally. I'm
definitely gonna step it up now!
231
00:10:23,269 --> 00:10:25,603
I'm serious. Like,
when you and Keanu
232
00:10:25,671 --> 00:10:27,355
are getting it on,
where am I?
233
00:10:27,423 --> 00:10:28,689
What do you do with me?
234
00:10:28,757 --> 00:10:29,908
You're around!
235
00:10:29,976 --> 00:10:31,025
I'm just
cheating on you.
236
00:10:31,093 --> 00:10:34,062
I'm not pushing you
down a flight of stairs!
237
00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:34,195
I don't push you
down stairs!
238
00:10:35,881 --> 00:10:39,050
You trip
on Bobby's skateboard!
239
00:10:39,117 --> 00:10:40,669
Oh, bite me!
240
00:10:40,836 --> 00:10:43,404
Well, I certainly see
where he gets his mouth from!
241
00:10:57,552 --> 00:10:59,219
What are these?
242
00:10:59,287 --> 00:11:02,756
These are the sex fantasies
you're allowed to have.
243
00:11:10,214 --> 00:11:11,731
You...
244
00:11:11,783 --> 00:11:14,201
Wrote fantasies for me? Yeah.
245
00:11:14,268 --> 00:11:16,519
Look, I know I got upset
last night, ok?
246
00:11:16,587 --> 00:11:18,155
People fantasize.
I get it,
247
00:11:18,222 --> 00:11:19,622
but I just...
248
00:11:19,690 --> 00:11:21,557
Can't let you
kill me anymore.
249
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,427
It's just not right.
250
00:11:24,495 --> 00:11:25,428
That doesn't mean
251
00:11:25,496 --> 00:11:26,830
you can write
fantasies for me.
252
00:11:26,898 --> 00:11:29,032
You're my wife!
So?
253
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,266
So?
254
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:31,618
Do I let my cardiologist
order for me
255
00:11:31,686 --> 00:11:33,920
at der wienerschnitzel?
256
00:11:33,988 --> 00:11:36,890
Well, Doug, I happen
to have provided you
257
00:11:36,958 --> 00:11:38,608
with alternatives
I think
258
00:11:38,676 --> 00:11:40,243
are quite sensuous.
259
00:11:40,311 --> 00:11:42,161
Ok, see, "sensuous"
260
00:11:42,229 --> 00:11:45,365
is a red flag already,
right there.
261
00:11:45,432 --> 00:11:46,967
Let's see
what you got, though.
262
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:49,369
Oh, boy.
263
00:11:49,436 --> 00:11:51,905
"You are alone.
264
00:11:51,973 --> 00:11:53,773
"Carrie is away
on a business trip
265
00:11:53,841 --> 00:11:55,926
for vogue magazine."
266
00:11:58,496 --> 00:12:02,048
"You go to a florist
to buy Carrie flowers.
267
00:12:02,116 --> 00:12:04,901
The florist
reminds you of Carrie."
268
00:12:04,969 --> 00:12:06,119
Ok, first note:
269
00:12:06,187 --> 00:12:08,822
Little too much Carrie.
270
00:12:08,890 --> 00:12:09,806
All right, that
was my first one.
271
00:12:09,874 --> 00:12:12,092
They get better.
Keep going.
272
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,127
"You follow
a trail of rose petals
273
00:12:14,194 --> 00:12:16,230
to a canopied bed."
274
00:12:20,201 --> 00:12:22,685
"You ride a horse
across a field..."
275
00:12:33,747 --> 00:12:36,666
Ok, I'm pretty sure this one
was a Dharma and Greg.
276
00:12:36,734 --> 00:12:37,784
Doug, come on!
277
00:12:37,819 --> 00:12:39,369
I worked hard
on these, ok?
278
00:12:39,436 --> 00:12:41,104
The least you can do
is have an open mind.
279
00:12:41,172 --> 00:12:42,472
This is crazy!
I mean, look at this!
280
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:44,291
I- I'm on a horse.
281
00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,826
I'm biking
through wine country.
282
00:12:45,894 --> 00:12:47,494
Why I am so active?
283
00:12:51,432 --> 00:12:52,766
Do you know
in my own fantasies,
284
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:55,335
I rarely
get out of a chair?
285
00:12:57,438 --> 00:12:59,056
Look,
286
00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:02,225
these are your fantasies
now, ok?
287
00:13:02,293 --> 00:13:06,129
And you better
start using them,
288
00:13:06,197 --> 00:13:08,831
'cause if I find out
I'm dead,
289
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,033
you're dead.
290
00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:17,624
"You take her hand
in yours
291
00:13:17,692 --> 00:13:22,095
"as the gondolier
looks discreetly away.
292
00:13:22,162 --> 00:13:23,497
"You stroke her hair
293
00:13:23,564 --> 00:13:28,368
and she whispers,
amore."
294
00:13:28,436 --> 00:13:31,404
Damn!
295
00:13:31,472 --> 00:13:32,940
Ohh!
296
00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:34,591
Oh, it gets better. I'm
about to pick up a mandolin
297
00:13:34,658 --> 00:13:36,793
and start singing.
298
00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:37,777
Hey, if
these Carrie fantasies
299
00:13:37,845 --> 00:13:39,562
aren't quite working
for you,
300
00:13:39,630 --> 00:13:41,831
maybe you could have
your mom fire off a few.
301
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:45,051
You guys are funny.
Laugh it up, you know?
302
00:13:45,119 --> 00:13:46,352
But Carrie's
making me do these.
303
00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:47,587
Making you?
How's Carrie gonna know
304
00:13:47,655 --> 00:13:48,788
what you're
fantasizing about?
305
00:13:48,856 --> 00:13:49,923
She knows things, ok?
306
00:13:49,991 --> 00:13:51,290
I mean, how did
she know I was the one
307
00:13:51,358 --> 00:13:53,293
who got Russian dressing
on our wedding album?
308
00:13:53,361 --> 00:13:57,481
I think a lot of people
could've connected those dots.
309
00:13:57,548 --> 00:13:58,465
That's not even the point.
All right?
310
00:13:58,532 --> 00:14:00,133
Look, Carrie's feelings
were really hurt about this.
311
00:14:00,201 --> 00:14:02,236
I just can't blow her off.
312
00:14:02,303 --> 00:14:04,571
All right?
I feel too guilty.
313
00:14:04,638 --> 00:14:06,573
Some of these
aren't that bad.
314
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,659
Hey, this one's got
her nail girl Tina in it.
315
00:14:09,727 --> 00:14:10,660
She's pretty hot.
316
00:14:10,728 --> 00:14:12,562
All right.
Good luck with that.
317
00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:13,764
I'm gonna hit it.
318
00:14:13,831 --> 00:14:15,399
Yeah, me, too.
319
00:14:15,466 --> 00:14:18,302
Hey, can I, uh,
borrow this one?
320
00:14:18,369 --> 00:14:19,836
Which?
321
00:14:19,904 --> 00:14:22,272
The one with, uh,
Meredith Baxter-birney.
322
00:14:24,325 --> 00:14:26,860
I'll get it back
to you when I'm done.
323
00:14:26,928 --> 00:14:29,329
My gift to you.
324
00:14:29,397 --> 00:14:31,231
Thank you.
325
00:14:31,298 --> 00:14:32,566
Oh, and if anything
with Judith light
326
00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:33,667
comes across
your desk, uh,
327
00:14:33,735 --> 00:14:35,168
shoot it my way,
will ya?
328
00:14:37,321 --> 00:14:39,005
All right, Tina,
329
00:14:39,073 --> 00:14:40,907
let's see what you got.
330
00:14:47,131 --> 00:14:49,148
Oh, Doug,
I'm glad you're here.
331
00:14:49,216 --> 00:14:50,817
Can you pay Tina?
332
00:14:50,885 --> 00:14:51,968
I'm meeting Donna karan.
333
00:14:52,003 --> 00:14:54,604
We're gonna play darts
at Calvin klein's place.
334
00:14:54,671 --> 00:14:55,605
Oh. Sure.
335
00:14:55,756 --> 00:14:56,840
Great. Thanks.
336
00:14:58,293 --> 00:15:02,062
Oh, and I won't be back
for a few hours. Ok?
337
00:15:05,149 --> 00:15:07,116
Ahem.
338
00:15:07,185 --> 00:15:08,218
Whoops. I...
339
00:15:08,286 --> 00:15:09,886
Seem to have forgotten my wallet. I-
340
00:15:10,771 --> 00:15:12,355
I don't know how
I'm gonna pay you.
341
00:15:12,423 --> 00:15:15,892
Well, that's
very bad news.
342
00:15:17,495 --> 00:15:19,062
Is there
any other way
343
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:21,231
we could, uh,
work this out?
344
00:15:23,151 --> 00:15:25,101
I'm sure we can think
of something.
345
00:15:28,305 --> 00:15:29,572
Uh...
346
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,007
What's the matter?
347
00:15:31,075 --> 00:15:33,310
It's just...
348
00:15:33,377 --> 00:15:35,378
My wife.
349
00:15:37,998 --> 00:15:41,401
She said she won't
be back for hours.
350
00:15:41,469 --> 00:15:42,785
Right.
351
00:15:47,191 --> 00:15:49,409
Ohh, I-i can't-
I-i-look, I-i-
352
00:15:49,444 --> 00:15:50,777
I just
need a minute here.
353
00:15:58,485 --> 00:15:59,969
Oh, my God!
What was that?
354
00:16:00,037 --> 00:16:01,271
My wife. She's dead.
355
00:16:01,338 --> 00:16:02,805
Now where were we?
356
00:16:05,777 --> 00:16:08,528
I thought you said you
weren't going to kill me!
357
00:16:09,714 --> 00:16:10,630
I didn't mean to!
358
00:16:10,698 --> 00:16:11,898
Well, you know what?
We had a deal.
359
00:16:11,966 --> 00:16:14,083
Now your little party's
over, buddy.
360
00:16:14,151 --> 00:16:15,985
Out.
361
00:16:16,053 --> 00:16:18,254
Out! Look to me. Out.
362
00:16:19,657 --> 00:16:21,425
Who's back there?
363
00:16:21,492 --> 00:16:23,159
Nobody.
364
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:31,234
Who are they?!
365
00:16:31,302 --> 00:16:33,103
My friends?
366
00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:34,271
These-
367
00:16:34,338 --> 00:16:35,855
these are the women
you fantasize about.
368
00:16:35,923 --> 00:16:37,840
These are
your regulars!
369
00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:39,276
Actually,
she's not a regular.
370
00:16:39,343 --> 00:16:41,378
I saw her on a billboard
this morning.
371
00:16:41,445 --> 00:16:43,012
All right, well, you know
what? Let's go, ladies.
372
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,147
Out. Let's go.
373
00:16:44,215 --> 00:16:46,682
Party's over.
Time to go.
374
00:16:46,751 --> 00:16:48,718
Let's go, hee haw.
375
00:16:51,856 --> 00:16:54,040
Oh, uh-huh.
Nice. Yeah.
376
00:16:54,108 --> 00:16:54,874
You, too, food court.
377
00:16:54,941 --> 00:16:57,026
I see ya. I see ya.
378
00:16:57,094 --> 00:16:59,062
Uh-huh. Oh,
there's sports bra.
379
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:00,196
That's nice, yeah.
380
00:17:00,264 --> 00:17:02,298
Village people
make a comeback? Ok.
381
00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:03,566
That's great.
382
00:17:06,737 --> 00:17:09,139
Is that one of
your mom's friends?
383
00:17:11,058 --> 00:17:12,776
You're sick!
384
00:17:19,817 --> 00:17:22,251
Get out
of my brain.
385
00:17:22,319 --> 00:17:23,453
What are you
talking about?
386
00:17:23,521 --> 00:17:25,188
I tried one of
your little fantasies.
387
00:17:25,255 --> 00:17:26,623
It didn't work, and now
that you're in here,
388
00:17:26,691 --> 00:17:27,924
none of my old fantasies
work either.
389
00:17:27,992 --> 00:17:29,793
You chased
everyone away!
390
00:17:29,861 --> 00:17:32,128
Look, I just don't
want you to kill me.
391
00:17:32,196 --> 00:17:34,698
I don't think
that's too much to ask!
392
00:17:34,765 --> 00:17:36,899
I am tired
of apologizing for this.
393
00:17:36,967 --> 00:17:38,635
Killing off your spouse
in your fantasies
394
00:17:38,703 --> 00:17:41,971
is the most natural,
beautiful thing in the world!
395
00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:43,973
Why can't you see that?
396
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,741
Hey, Doug. How are
those stitches doing?
397
00:17:45,809 --> 00:17:47,477
Oh, they're, uh-
they're good.
398
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,296
He hasn't been biting
at 'em, has he?
399
00:17:49,363 --> 00:17:51,280
No.
400
00:17:51,348 --> 00:17:53,549
Just a couple of minutes
to get 'em out.
401
00:17:53,617 --> 00:17:56,820
And while you wait, you can
enjoy a very old people magazine.
402
00:17:56,888 --> 00:17:59,288
Oh! Ok.
403
00:17:59,356 --> 00:18:00,289
Bye.
404
00:18:29,903 --> 00:18:31,688
Mrs. heffernan?
405
00:18:31,755 --> 00:18:34,257
I'm afraid the stitch
removal didn't go well.
406
00:18:35,793 --> 00:18:37,126
What do you mean?
407
00:18:37,194 --> 00:18:39,179
What I'm trying
to say is...
408
00:18:39,246 --> 00:18:40,846
Your husband...
409
00:18:40,914 --> 00:18:42,499
He's dead.
410
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,621
Honey!
411
00:18:47,688 --> 00:18:50,223
I loved you
so much!
412
00:18:51,892 --> 00:18:53,392
A woman
as beautiful as you
413
00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:55,578
should not be crying.
414
00:18:55,646 --> 00:18:56,780
Why?
415
00:18:56,847 --> 00:18:58,581
What should
I be doing?
416
00:18:58,649 --> 00:18:59,582
Dancing!
417
00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:01,584
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!
418
00:20:07,351 --> 00:20:08,818
Carrie.
419
00:20:08,886 --> 00:20:09,886
Carrie!
Huh?
420
00:20:09,954 --> 00:20:11,521
Yes. I'm done. Everything's fine.
421
00:20:11,588 --> 00:20:14,891
Oh, well,
that's great, sweetie!
422
00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:15,892
"Sweetie"?
423
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,426
What's up with-
424
00:20:17,494 --> 00:20:18,662
you're not mad
anymore?
425
00:20:18,729 --> 00:20:20,396
No. No, I was
just sitting here
426
00:20:20,464 --> 00:20:22,632
thinking about, uh,
427
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,717
how much I love you.
428
00:20:24,785 --> 00:20:26,318
Come on, let's
go get some ice cream.
429
00:21:18,204 --> 00:21:19,389
Who are you?
430
00:21:19,456 --> 00:21:22,475
I'm Josephine.
Your wife sent me.
431
00:21:22,543 --> 00:21:24,160
Oh.
432
00:21:24,228 --> 00:21:26,129
Doug heffernan. Hi.
433
00:21:31,852 --> 00:21:34,036
Oh, what the hell.
28698
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