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1
00:00:06,053 --> 00:00:08,855
Hey, do you know
where the scissors are?
2
00:00:12,293 --> 00:00:17,831
Doug, we have lived in
this house for 9 years, ok?
3
00:00:17,899 --> 00:00:21,200
The scissors have always
been in the same place,
4
00:00:21,268 --> 00:00:25,672
and yet you continue to
ask me where they are.
5
00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:28,207
Not to mention
the spatula,
6
00:00:28,275 --> 00:00:30,594
the pot holders,
the pens.
7
00:00:30,662 --> 00:00:32,095
Well, I'll tell you
something, honey.
8
00:00:32,163 --> 00:00:36,015
I have been a tour guide in
my own kitchen long enough.
9
00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:38,885
Too many precious
moments have been wasted
10
00:00:38,953 --> 00:00:40,369
showing you
where things are!
11
00:00:40,437 --> 00:00:42,806
Just learn! Learn!
12
00:00:42,873 --> 00:00:44,540
I mean,
what if I died?
13
00:00:44,608 --> 00:00:46,509
How would you
flip a pancake?
14
00:00:46,577 --> 00:00:49,545
How would you.
- how would you ever cut anything ever again?
15
00:00:49,613 --> 00:00:52,215
Would you
just sit here weeping
16
00:00:52,282 --> 00:00:55,551
and soiling yourself until
somebody came in to help you?
17
00:00:55,619 --> 00:00:57,553
No, you wouldn't.
You would...
18
00:00:57,621 --> 00:01:01,241
Remember
where something is.
19
00:01:01,308 --> 00:01:03,276
Yeah. So come on,
honey. Please.
20
00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:04,444
Just this once.
21
00:01:04,512 --> 00:01:06,113
Find where
the scissors are.
22
00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:08,581
Find 'em.
Go ahead, baby.
23
00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:09,982
Go get 'em.
24
00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:12,068
Go ahead.
25
00:01:21,929 --> 00:01:25,115
I got 'em.
You got 'em.
26
00:01:26,383 --> 00:01:28,517
You got 'em.
Now, was that so hard?
27
00:01:28,585 --> 00:01:29,770
Not really, no.
Ok.
28
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,027
What do you need now?
29
00:01:38,095 --> 00:01:40,930
Tape.
30
00:02:18,835 --> 00:02:20,819
Well, hey, major,
whatcha got there?
31
00:02:20,887 --> 00:02:23,539
I made you a Valentine,
aunt Carrie.
32
00:02:23,606 --> 00:02:25,974
Oh, that is so sweet...
33
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:28,910
And out of my jury summons.
34
00:02:28,978 --> 00:02:32,247
Ok. I will put it
right here
35
00:02:32,315 --> 00:02:37,018
next to my snowflake
mortgage payment.
36
00:02:37,086 --> 00:02:38,453
What's that?
37
00:02:38,521 --> 00:02:40,288
This is coffee, baby.
38
00:02:40,356 --> 00:02:42,257
I want some.
Coffee! Coffee!
39
00:02:42,325 --> 00:02:44,126
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, baby.
40
00:02:44,193 --> 00:02:45,693
No, no, no.
This is a grown-up drink,
41
00:02:45,761 --> 00:02:47,029
just like the big vodka
I'm gonna have
42
00:02:47,096 --> 00:02:49,731
after your parents
pick you up.
43
00:02:53,152 --> 00:02:56,855
Doug. He has
my lipstick again.
44
00:02:56,923 --> 00:02:58,606
I told you
to hide those.
45
00:02:58,674 --> 00:03:02,344
I do,
but he finds them.
46
00:03:02,412 --> 00:03:05,847
Hey, whatcha-whatcha
got there, kirb?
47
00:03:05,915 --> 00:03:08,950
Apricot shimmer.
48
00:03:09,017 --> 00:03:11,069
Ok.
49
00:03:11,136 --> 00:03:12,354
Do you think it's pretty?
50
00:03:12,422 --> 00:03:13,605
I think it's, uh,
51
00:03:13,673 --> 00:03:15,524
pretty great
as a missile
52
00:03:15,591 --> 00:03:16,791
on our battleship.
53
00:03:16,859 --> 00:03:17,776
Look at that. Fire one!
54
00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:22,297
Blood, guts, death.
55
00:03:22,365 --> 00:03:24,366
Man things.
56
00:03:25,718 --> 00:03:27,369
Hey, y'all.
Hey.
57
00:03:27,437 --> 00:03:28,670
Boys behave themselves?
58
00:03:28,737 --> 00:03:29,588
Oh, yeah.
They were fine.
59
00:03:29,739 --> 00:03:31,173
Bubblegum went right
into the carpet.
60
00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:33,374
Anyway, it's ok.
61
00:03:33,442 --> 00:03:36,345
He didn't try to put on
lipstick again, did he?
62
00:03:36,412 --> 00:03:39,864
In his defense,
it is pretty.
63
00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:42,517
Listen, we really appreciate
64
00:03:42,585 --> 00:03:44,336
you guys taking the boys again.
65
00:03:44,403 --> 00:03:45,337
Yeah, I'll tell you.
66
00:03:45,404 --> 00:03:46,471
Having some alone time
once a week
67
00:03:46,539 --> 00:03:48,506
has been huge for me
and kel.
68
00:03:48,574 --> 00:03:49,691
Oh, please. We're
happy to help out.
69
00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:50,792
Yeah, plus,
once a week,
70
00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:51,943
we get to be
the kind of family
71
00:03:52,011 --> 00:03:55,096
that you usually
only see on TV.
72
00:03:55,164 --> 00:03:57,148
Do that thing
I taught you.
73
00:03:57,216 --> 00:04:00,051
What you talking
about, Douglas?
74
00:04:00,119 --> 00:04:01,669
The kid's a machine.
75
00:04:01,737 --> 00:04:04,138
We really owe you guys.
Yeah.
76
00:04:04,206 --> 00:04:06,591
Darling, I need to borrow
some bronzing cream,
77
00:04:06,659 --> 00:04:10,295
an overnight bag,
and a major credit card.
78
00:04:11,513 --> 00:04:12,814
What for, dad?
79
00:04:12,881 --> 00:04:16,284
That's my personal
business!
80
00:04:17,486 --> 00:04:19,287
Ok. You want
to help us out?
81
00:04:19,355 --> 00:04:21,756
Take that guy off our
hands once in a while.
82
00:04:23,092 --> 00:04:24,859
Got to throw you
a big fat "no" on that one.
83
00:04:24,927 --> 00:04:27,129
Thanks again, you guys.
84
00:04:27,196 --> 00:04:29,197
Bye!
85
00:04:29,265 --> 00:04:31,533
Night.
Bye-bye.
86
00:04:41,393 --> 00:04:43,195
What are you doing?
87
00:04:43,262 --> 00:04:45,363
Apparently, somebody didn't
like his macaroni and cheese,
88
00:04:45,431 --> 00:04:47,332
so he hid it
in the change jar.
89
00:04:49,101 --> 00:04:50,919
Actually, I think that was your
dad. I saw him in that area.
90
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,120
Oy.
91
00:04:53,188 --> 00:04:54,956
Uh, speaking of your dad,
92
00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:57,625
I was thinking about what you
said before to Deacon and Kelly.
93
00:04:57,693 --> 00:04:59,193
What?
94
00:04:59,261 --> 00:05:03,264
That thing about maybe them taking
him off our hands once in a while.
95
00:05:03,332 --> 00:05:04,499
I was kidding.
96
00:05:04,567 --> 00:05:06,233
I know you were
kidding, but...
97
00:05:06,301 --> 00:05:07,469
Think about it
for a second.
98
00:05:07,536 --> 00:05:09,804
I mean, we watch Kirby
and major all the time, right?
99
00:05:09,872 --> 00:05:10,972
They're children.
100
00:05:11,039 --> 00:05:12,440
So? We don't
have any children.
101
00:05:12,508 --> 00:05:16,143
We have a crazy old man.
102
00:05:16,211 --> 00:05:17,845
I mean, why does society
103
00:05:17,913 --> 00:05:20,114
say that baby-sitting
is normal,
104
00:05:20,183 --> 00:05:23,385
but old-people-sitting,
that's taboo?
105
00:05:23,452 --> 00:05:25,202
Huh.
106
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:26,203
See what I'm saying?
107
00:05:26,271 --> 00:05:27,939
I never thought of it
that way before,
108
00:05:28,006 --> 00:05:30,875
but you may be on to
something here, butch.
109
00:05:30,943 --> 00:05:32,610
Thank you.
110
00:05:32,678 --> 00:05:36,281
I mean, how different is my
father from a child, anyway?
111
00:05:36,348 --> 00:05:37,716
I mean, he acts out.
112
00:05:37,783 --> 00:05:39,718
He screams when
he doesn't get his way.
113
00:05:39,785 --> 00:05:42,437
When it thunders,
he climbs into bed with us.
114
00:05:42,505 --> 00:05:43,538
You know something?
115
00:05:43,605 --> 00:05:45,273
We deserve
some alone time
116
00:05:45,341 --> 00:05:47,542
just as much
as Deacon and Kelly.
117
00:05:47,609 --> 00:05:49,277
Our marriage
isn't perfect, either.
118
00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:51,680
Far from it.
119
00:05:51,748 --> 00:05:52,947
I mean, sometimes I wake up
120
00:05:53,015 --> 00:05:54,983
and I just wanna
run away from you.
121
00:05:56,602 --> 00:05:59,270
I feel
the same way!
122
00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,923
Of course you do!
123
00:06:01,991 --> 00:06:02,824
And you know what?
It's not just about
124
00:06:02,975 --> 00:06:04,642
us baby-sitting
major and Kirby.
125
00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:05,944
I mean, what about
all the other things?
126
00:06:06,011 --> 00:06:07,395
The-the birthday parties
127
00:06:07,463 --> 00:06:10,114
and all the school plays
we had to suffer through.
128
00:06:10,182 --> 00:06:10,949
Meanwhile,
have Deacon and Kelly
129
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,368
ever been to one
of Arthur's things?
130
00:06:13,436 --> 00:06:14,286
No!
131
00:06:14,437 --> 00:06:16,471
When he got
his swimming certificate-
132
00:06:16,539 --> 00:06:19,508
and how about when he was in that
senior center production of cats?
133
00:06:19,575 --> 00:06:22,076
Where were they?
Too busy.
134
00:06:22,144 --> 00:06:24,412
Ooh, that was rough.
135
00:06:24,479 --> 00:06:28,382
Remember when that one cat
broke her hip during memories?
136
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:33,472
Ok. The point is
we present Deacon and Kelly
137
00:06:33,539 --> 00:06:36,942
with a very reasonable request,
and what do we get back?
138
00:06:37,009 --> 00:06:40,211
Gotta throw you a big
fat "no" on that one.
139
00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:41,496
Yeah! I'll tell you
one thing.
140
00:06:41,564 --> 00:06:42,798
This is happening,
friend.
141
00:06:42,865 --> 00:06:44,499
Oh, I know
it's happening.
142
00:06:44,567 --> 00:06:48,136
You don't have to tell me
it's happening, friend!
143
00:06:48,203 --> 00:06:51,206
We're not mad at
each other here, right?
144
00:06:51,273 --> 00:06:52,390
No.
Good.
145
00:06:52,458 --> 00:06:54,509
'Cause I got a little
lost there for a second.
146
00:07:00,232 --> 00:07:01,866
Ok. They
just pulled up.
147
00:07:01,934 --> 00:07:03,118
Ok. It's showtime.
148
00:07:03,185 --> 00:07:05,186
Dad? Could you come
up here for a minute?
149
00:07:05,254 --> 00:07:07,122
All right, kids. Come
on. Parents are here.
150
00:07:07,189 --> 00:07:09,641
Doug, help them get packed
up. Ok. You know what, kirb?
151
00:07:09,708 --> 00:07:14,345
Why don't you get g.I. Joe out of
that blouse and back into his khakis?
152
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:15,997
Time for dinner?
153
00:07:16,064 --> 00:07:17,131
Uh, not exactly.
154
00:07:17,199 --> 00:07:19,467
It's just you haven't
fed me since breakfast,
155
00:07:19,534 --> 00:07:22,336
and I'm starting to hear
a low-pitched hum.
156
00:07:22,404 --> 00:07:24,388
You will be eating
in no time.
157
00:07:27,376 --> 00:07:30,078
Hey. How you doing?
158
00:07:30,146 --> 00:07:30,929
How was
your afternoon?
159
00:07:30,996 --> 00:07:32,347
You get some
good alone time in?
160
00:07:32,414 --> 00:07:33,381
It was great. We spent the whole day
161
00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:34,982
at the modern
museum of art.
162
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:37,269
Ouch.
163
00:07:37,336 --> 00:07:39,170
So, uh, where
you headed now?
164
00:07:39,238 --> 00:07:41,355
We're gonna take the kids
to this new Italian place.
165
00:07:41,423 --> 00:07:44,008
Oh, you know, that's
right. Kirby mentioned that.
166
00:07:44,076 --> 00:07:45,209
You know
who loves Italian food?
167
00:07:45,277 --> 00:07:47,245
Arthur, you love
Italian food, don't you?
168
00:07:47,312 --> 00:07:48,830
I'd eat anything
at this point.
169
00:07:48,897 --> 00:07:52,166
Just end
this experiment.
170
00:07:52,234 --> 00:07:53,884
Hey! Crazy idea.
171
00:07:53,952 --> 00:07:55,470
You love
Italian food.
172
00:07:55,538 --> 00:07:57,472
You're going to an Italian restaurant.
173
00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,874
Maybe Deacon and Kelly
can give you a lift.
174
00:07:59,942 --> 00:08:01,626
Heck.
While you're there,
175
00:08:01,694 --> 00:08:02,994
why don't you guys
just sit together,
176
00:08:03,061 --> 00:08:04,696
ok? Would ya,
could ya?
177
00:08:10,986 --> 00:08:13,555
What-
what can I say?
178
00:08:13,622 --> 00:08:15,173
Sounds like
a thumbs up to me.
179
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,308
Ok. Well,
have a good time.
180
00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:18,743
Here you go. Glad this worked out.
181
00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:20,745
Go on, dad.
Have a good time.
182
00:08:20,812 --> 00:08:22,980
Go ahead.
Skedoodle.
183
00:08:23,048 --> 00:08:24,048
And you behave
yourself.
184
00:08:24,116 --> 00:08:25,200
I want a good
report on you.
185
00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:26,901
Ha ha ha.
186
00:08:26,968 --> 00:08:28,553
Oh, kel, one second.
187
00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,338
Here are his pills
and his doctor's number
188
00:08:30,406 --> 00:08:31,873
and a list of foods
he can't eat.
189
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:34,142
Don't let him
order anything spicy.
190
00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:35,743
Thanks.
191
00:08:42,818 --> 00:08:44,819
Ok. Tub's ready.
192
00:08:44,887 --> 00:08:46,087
Sweet.
193
00:08:46,155 --> 00:08:48,239
We got the house
to ourselves.
194
00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:50,108
Time to get
a little clean...
195
00:08:50,176 --> 00:08:52,593
And a little dirty.
196
00:08:52,661 --> 00:08:55,796
So, uh, who should,
uh, get in first?
197
00:08:55,865 --> 00:08:59,033
Um,
I'm thinking you.
198
00:08:59,101 --> 00:09:00,718
All right.
199
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,882
All right.
Come on in.
200
00:09:13,949 --> 00:09:15,683
Well, all righty.
201
00:09:18,954 --> 00:09:20,505
Ok.
This is nice.
202
00:09:20,572 --> 00:09:22,924
Yeah.
203
00:09:22,992 --> 00:09:26,660
All right. Let's
get down to business.
204
00:09:28,764 --> 00:09:30,581
Wait wait.
Wait. You gotta-
205
00:09:30,649 --> 00:09:32,166
watch your knee,
honey.
206
00:09:32,234 --> 00:09:34,302
Ok. Sorry.
207
00:09:37,873 --> 00:09:41,109
That's the hot water!
Turn it off!
208
00:09:41,176 --> 00:09:42,343
Would you hurry up?!
209
00:09:42,411 --> 00:09:45,129
Ok! I'm not used
to using my foot as a hand!
210
00:09:45,197 --> 00:09:46,731
That's the wrong way!
211
00:09:46,798 --> 00:09:48,299
I know that now!
212
00:09:48,334 --> 00:09:50,885
It's scalding me!
213
00:09:50,953 --> 00:09:52,803
Save yourself!
214
00:10:02,298 --> 00:10:04,799
So, after we eat,
what's on tap?
215
00:10:04,866 --> 00:10:06,817
A jazz club?
216
00:10:06,885 --> 00:10:09,587
Amateur night
at the Apollo?
217
00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:14,092
Again,
miniature golf.
218
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,593
Wonderful.
219
00:10:15,661 --> 00:10:16,745
I think we're
ready to order.
220
00:10:16,812 --> 00:10:19,313
Ok. What can I
get you folks?
221
00:10:19,381 --> 00:10:20,548
The boys
will have ravioli,
222
00:10:20,616 --> 00:10:22,017
and I would love
a house salad
223
00:10:22,084 --> 00:10:23,184
and a spinach lasagna.
224
00:10:23,252 --> 00:10:25,854
Same for me.
How about you, Arthur?
225
00:10:25,921 --> 00:10:31,025
I think I'll try the
spicy sausage with peppers.
226
00:10:31,092 --> 00:10:32,861
Uh, Arthur...
227
00:10:32,928 --> 00:10:34,328
What's the matter?
228
00:10:34,396 --> 00:10:36,747
Well, Carrie said he's not
supposed to have anything spicy.
229
00:10:36,815 --> 00:10:38,599
Oh. Hey, why don't you
order something else?
230
00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,134
Very well.
231
00:10:40,202 --> 00:10:42,170
I will have...
232
00:10:42,237 --> 00:10:45,439
The spicy sausage
with peppers.
233
00:10:47,759 --> 00:10:49,693
Arthur.
234
00:10:49,761 --> 00:10:51,930
Well, it was
worth a try.
235
00:10:51,997 --> 00:10:53,197
Seriously, uh,
236
00:10:53,265 --> 00:10:55,867
bring me the spicy sausage
with peppers, will you?
237
00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:57,819
Would you stop?
238
00:10:57,886 --> 00:10:58,853
I'm a grown man!
239
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,054
Why can't I
have what I want?
240
00:11:00,121 --> 00:11:01,055
Because you can't!
241
00:11:01,122 --> 00:11:02,390
You know, instead
of giving me grief,
242
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:03,758
I would think you would be more upset
243
00:11:03,826 --> 00:11:08,028
about why we have been
seated next to the kitchen!
244
00:11:08,096 --> 00:11:10,548
Is it because
we're black?!
245
00:11:17,389 --> 00:11:18,772
Just get
what you want.
246
00:11:18,841 --> 00:11:20,875
Thank you.
247
00:11:24,079 --> 00:11:26,613
How's the spicy sausage
with peppers?
248
00:11:39,711 --> 00:11:43,965
How's his stomach...
Et cetera?
249
00:11:46,318 --> 00:11:49,637
I can't believe they
let him have spicy food.
250
00:11:51,489 --> 00:11:53,791
Are you ok?
251
00:11:53,859 --> 00:11:55,993
Talk to me,
baby.
252
00:11:56,061 --> 00:11:58,329
Carrie, I saw
things down there
253
00:11:58,396 --> 00:12:00,031
that no man
should ever see.
254
00:12:00,098 --> 00:12:03,101
I know. I know. You just
gotta put it out of your mind.
255
00:12:03,168 --> 00:12:05,836
I can't.
256
00:12:05,904 --> 00:12:07,788
Can I have
some more milk of magnesia?
257
00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:09,857
I'm starting
to percolate again.
258
00:12:11,626 --> 00:12:12,960
Bringing it
right down, dad.
259
00:12:13,028 --> 00:12:14,328
No!
260
00:12:14,396 --> 00:12:17,498
I will not let my
daughter see me like this.
261
00:12:17,566 --> 00:12:19,567
Send Douglas.
262
00:12:26,039 --> 00:12:27,791
Hey, come on in.
263
00:12:27,859 --> 00:12:29,793
Hey. I know
it's pretty short notice
264
00:12:29,861 --> 00:12:31,294
to dump the kids
on you again,
265
00:12:31,362 --> 00:12:33,697
but these Beyonce tickets
just fell into our lap.
266
00:12:33,764 --> 00:12:35,532
Nothing like
a Beyonce concert
267
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,166
to keep
a marriage strong.
268
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:40,887
We do the same thing with
monster truck rallies.
269
00:12:40,955 --> 00:12:42,956
Hey, thanks for taking
my dad off our hands
270
00:12:43,024 --> 00:12:44,624
on Saturday night.
271
00:12:44,691 --> 00:12:46,593
Oh, don't be silly. We had
a great time. Right, babe?
272
00:12:47,695 --> 00:12:49,396
He's something.
273
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:51,664
Yeah, the only thing is, and
maybe you guys just forgot,
274
00:12:51,732 --> 00:12:54,334
uh, but you let him
have spicy food,
275
00:12:54,402 --> 00:12:56,736
and, well, we were up
with him all night.
276
00:12:56,804 --> 00:12:58,121
Yeah. Um...
277
00:12:58,189 --> 00:12:59,588
We told him that
he couldn't have it,
278
00:12:59,656 --> 00:13:03,426
and, you know, he made a big
scene and started yelling, so-
279
00:13:03,493 --> 00:13:06,212
so... you just
let him yell.
280
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:10,083
Didn't really wanna do that
in a crowded restaurant.
281
00:13:10,151 --> 00:13:12,969
And I could understand that, kell,
282
00:13:13,037 --> 00:13:14,571
um, I do.
283
00:13:14,639 --> 00:13:17,541
But it's just that
when major and Kirby
284
00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:20,977
are yelling for stuff,
which they do a lot,
285
00:13:21,045 --> 00:13:23,596
um, we can also just
forget the rules
286
00:13:23,664 --> 00:13:28,434
and say, "sure, you can use
that drill to play dentist,"
287
00:13:28,502 --> 00:13:30,536
but we don't.
288
00:13:30,604 --> 00:13:31,421
You know what?
289
00:13:31,489 --> 00:13:32,706
Next time he yells,
290
00:13:32,773 --> 00:13:34,190
just give him
a piece of Taffy.
291
00:13:34,258 --> 00:13:36,359
That'll buy you
45 minutes.
292
00:13:41,248 --> 00:13:42,631
Next time?
293
00:13:42,699 --> 00:13:44,650
Yeah. We're taking
your kids this time,
294
00:13:44,718 --> 00:13:46,519
next time,
you take Arthur.
295
00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:49,406
Right.
296
00:13:49,473 --> 00:13:51,691
It is right.
297
00:13:53,593 --> 00:13:54,427
You know what?
We should probably go
298
00:13:54,495 --> 00:13:55,678
if we're gonna
make that show, so-
299
00:13:55,746 --> 00:13:56,713
ok.
300
00:13:56,780 --> 00:13:57,714
You two
take it easy.
301
00:13:57,781 --> 00:13:58,814
We'll see you
in a few hours.
302
00:13:58,882 --> 00:14:00,283
Be good.
303
00:14:00,351 --> 00:14:02,051
All right, I'm gonna
get the burgers going,
304
00:14:02,119 --> 00:14:03,886
and you guys just
pick out a video, ok?
305
00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:05,020
Ok.
Ok.
306
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,007
Did you catch the
attitude coming from them?
307
00:14:08,074 --> 00:14:09,008
Hard to miss.
308
00:14:09,075 --> 00:14:10,276
You know
what I think?
309
00:14:10,294 --> 00:14:11,444
I don't think
they just let my dad
310
00:14:11,512 --> 00:14:13,196
have spicy food
because he was yelling.
311
00:14:13,264 --> 00:14:15,131
They wanted him
to have it.
312
00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:17,500
They figured they'd
make it so tough on us
313
00:14:17,568 --> 00:14:19,902
that we wouldn't ask
them to take Arthur again.
314
00:14:19,970 --> 00:14:22,155
Right! And meanwhile, we're
so good with their kids.
315
00:14:22,223 --> 00:14:23,773
We're freakin' great.
316
00:14:23,841 --> 00:14:25,659
Aunt Carrie?
What is it now?
317
00:14:25,726 --> 00:14:28,361
Can I have some
mayonnaise on my hamburger?
318
00:14:28,428 --> 00:14:30,396
Yes, you can have
mayonnaise on your hamburger.
319
00:14:30,464 --> 00:14:31,681
Can we have
coffee, too?
320
00:14:31,749 --> 00:14:33,016
No, sweetie.
Remember I told you-
321
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:37,386
coffee! Coffee!
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
322
00:14:42,827 --> 00:14:45,695
Ok. Go get me your sippy cups. Hurry up.
323
00:14:55,822 --> 00:14:57,090
All right!
All right.
324
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:58,091
Settle down.
325
00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:00,093
What is it
with you guys?
326
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,895
Aunt Carrie
gave us coffee.
327
00:15:01,962 --> 00:15:06,699
Coffee! Coffee!
Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!
328
00:15:09,903 --> 00:15:11,438
Here you go.
329
00:15:15,959 --> 00:15:18,127
What does
"caliente" mean?
330
00:15:18,195 --> 00:15:21,514
It means "delicious."
331
00:15:21,582 --> 00:15:23,182
Hmm.
332
00:15:24,802 --> 00:15:27,587
"And then, eyes
widening in horror,
333
00:15:27,655 --> 00:15:29,722
"he saw
the word redrum
334
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:32,324
"reflecting dimly
from the glass dome
335
00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:34,093
"now reflected twice.
336
00:15:34,161 --> 00:15:36,429
"And he saw that
it spelled murder.
337
00:15:36,496 --> 00:15:39,198
Danny torrance screamed
in wretched terror."
338
00:15:39,266 --> 00:15:40,833
Aah!
339
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,605
Look what they bought me
at radio shack!
340
00:15:58,652 --> 00:16:01,254
Are we gonna
do anything tonight?
341
00:16:01,322 --> 00:16:02,922
Oh, yeah. We're
gonna do something.
342
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:04,924
Just don't know
what yet, babe.
343
00:16:06,994 --> 00:16:10,463
But it will be good.
344
00:16:11,582 --> 00:16:14,033
All right.
So, what do you got?
345
00:16:14,101 --> 00:16:15,768
Wanna do the coffee
thing again?
346
00:16:15,836 --> 00:16:19,138
Ok. That is
so 2 weeks ago.
347
00:16:19,205 --> 00:16:23,093
Douglas! Did you borrow
my argyle socks?
348
00:16:27,364 --> 00:16:29,549
No.
349
00:16:29,617 --> 00:16:33,486
Your feet are 8 sizes bigger than mine.
350
00:16:33,554 --> 00:16:35,704
I can't believe they
bought him a megaphone.
351
00:16:35,772 --> 00:16:38,407
Well, when we sent them
home with that ferret,
352
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:41,211
we knew they'd come
back at us pretty hard.
353
00:16:42,412 --> 00:16:44,480
Oh, man. This thing's getting crazy.
354
00:16:44,548 --> 00:16:46,482
Maybe we should just
be the bigger couple
355
00:16:46,550 --> 00:16:48,734
and stop asking them
to take Arthur.
356
00:16:48,802 --> 00:16:49,969
What?!
357
00:16:50,037 --> 00:16:52,539
And give up
our alone time?
358
00:16:52,606 --> 00:16:54,891
Honey, are you really
enjoying it that much?
359
00:16:56,409 --> 00:16:57,844
It is what it is,
you know,
360
00:16:57,911 --> 00:16:59,812
but that's
not the point!
361
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,831
Ok? There is
a principle here.
362
00:17:01,899 --> 00:17:04,684
We can't just give up
when we know we're right.
363
00:17:04,752 --> 00:17:06,553
Update on the socks.
364
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:10,323
They were in the dryer
the whole time.
365
00:17:10,391 --> 00:17:12,007
All right, if we're
gonna keep doing this,
366
00:17:12,075 --> 00:17:13,976
then we gotta go for
a knockout punch.
367
00:17:14,044 --> 00:17:15,395
Ok? Something they
can't get up from.
368
00:17:15,462 --> 00:17:17,196
Ok.
369
00:17:30,143 --> 00:17:31,777
I'll get it.
370
00:17:34,982 --> 00:17:37,182
Hey!
How's it going?
371
00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:39,135
We're here
for our children.
372
00:17:39,203 --> 00:17:40,219
Hi, mom.
Hi, dad.
373
00:17:40,287 --> 00:17:41,721
Hi, baby.
374
00:17:41,789 --> 00:17:42,839
Hey, bud.
How you doin'?
375
00:17:42,907 --> 00:17:46,642
You doin' all right?
Cool. All right.
376
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:49,028
Um... where's
your brother?
377
00:17:49,096 --> 00:17:51,730
I don't know. Kirby? I
think he scampered upstairs.
378
00:17:51,798 --> 00:17:53,599
We haven't
seen him in a while.
379
00:17:55,185 --> 00:17:56,452
Kirby?
Kirby?
380
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,388
Kirby?!
Kirby!
381
00:17:59,456 --> 00:18:01,073
Check the bedroom!
382
00:18:01,141 --> 00:18:03,109
Right by the makeup.
383
00:18:04,995 --> 00:18:08,031
Oh, my God! He looks like Liza minelli!
384
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,635
I think we all know
why we're here.
385
00:18:12,703 --> 00:18:14,554
I think we do.
386
00:18:14,622 --> 00:18:15,805
This whole thing
has gotten way out of hand,
387
00:18:15,873 --> 00:18:17,840
and it's hurting
the people we love.
388
00:18:28,002 --> 00:18:30,370
Well, look, we didn't
mean to hurt anybody,
389
00:18:30,437 --> 00:18:31,938
but you guys
started it
390
00:18:32,006 --> 00:18:34,040
when you gave
my dad spicy food.
391
00:18:34,108 --> 00:18:37,076
And you ended it by giving
my kid an extreme makeover.
392
00:18:38,312 --> 00:18:40,363
The point is you're
the kids' godparents
393
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:41,664
and they love
spending time with you,
394
00:18:41,732 --> 00:18:43,032
so we wanna
work this out.
395
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:43,900
We wanna
work it out, too,
396
00:18:43,968 --> 00:18:45,885
but it has to work out for all of us.
397
00:18:45,953 --> 00:18:46,752
I agree.
398
00:18:46,820 --> 00:18:48,104
So we have come up
399
00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:50,707
with what we think is a
very reasonable proposal.
400
00:18:50,774 --> 00:18:52,992
Lay it on us.
401
00:18:53,059 --> 00:18:54,293
You keep
taking the kids,
402
00:18:54,361 --> 00:18:55,794
we stop taking Arthur,
403
00:18:55,862 --> 00:18:58,230
but... when
the four of us go out,
404
00:18:58,298 --> 00:19:00,650
we pick up
2 out of every 3 checks.
405
00:19:00,717 --> 00:19:03,653
And that beanbag chair in
our place that Doug likes,
406
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,288
it's all yours.
407
00:19:09,777 --> 00:19:13,145
That chair was leaking
beans last time I saw it.
408
00:19:13,213 --> 00:19:15,030
I'll patch it up.
409
00:19:18,452 --> 00:19:21,821
No. This has to be
about you taking Arthur.
410
00:19:21,888 --> 00:19:24,190
Yeah, and just as much
as we take the kids.
411
00:19:24,258 --> 00:19:25,908
That's ridiculous.
412
00:19:25,976 --> 00:19:27,010
Ridiculous?
413
00:19:27,077 --> 00:19:28,477
You guys have
a good evening.
414
00:19:28,545 --> 00:19:30,880
Wait. Take it easy.
Take it easy. Come on.
415
00:19:30,948 --> 00:19:32,415
Sit down.
416
00:19:36,887 --> 00:19:38,521
All right,
we'll take Arthur,
417
00:19:38,588 --> 00:19:39,923
but it can't be as much
as you take the kids.
418
00:19:39,990 --> 00:19:41,490
It's just too weird.
419
00:19:41,558 --> 00:19:43,576
Well, how often? How many times a month?
420
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:54,604
Ok.
421
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:57,006
Oh, come on. It was
just an opening figure.
422
00:19:57,074 --> 00:19:59,808
It's a one
with a question mark.
423
00:19:59,876 --> 00:20:01,027
All right.
424
00:20:01,094 --> 00:20:02,795
Maybe we can take him
2 or 3 times a month,
425
00:20:02,863 --> 00:20:04,430
but he's just so crazy.
426
00:20:04,497 --> 00:20:06,532
I don't know why he's so
crazy when you get him.
427
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,568
He does take his blue
pill at 6:00 every day.
428
00:20:09,636 --> 00:20:10,286
Well, it ain't
doin' the job.
429
00:20:10,354 --> 00:20:11,638
Ok, look.
How about this?
430
00:20:11,705 --> 00:20:12,705
If we take him,
you gotta give him
431
00:20:12,772 --> 00:20:14,207
more than one pill.
432
00:20:14,274 --> 00:20:16,992
Well, how many more
are we talking here?
433
00:20:23,950 --> 00:20:27,720
That many?
That'll kill him!
434
00:20:27,788 --> 00:20:30,423
We don't know that.
435
00:20:32,993 --> 00:20:35,662
How about we
bump it up to 2?
436
00:20:35,729 --> 00:20:38,397
And a shot
of cough syrup.
437
00:20:38,464 --> 00:20:40,299
Done.
438
00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:41,851
So we're back in the
best friends business?
439
00:20:41,918 --> 00:20:43,019
I think so.
440
00:20:43,087 --> 00:20:44,253
I'm glad we got
this over with,
441
00:20:44,321 --> 00:20:45,554
'cause you two
fight ghetto.
442
00:20:45,622 --> 00:20:47,256
You started
with the-
443
00:20:47,324 --> 00:20:49,192
just so you know,
444
00:20:49,259 --> 00:20:51,461
we are very aware
you're talking about us,
445
00:20:51,528 --> 00:20:53,162
and we don't
appreciate it.
446
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:54,847
To show my displeasure,
447
00:20:54,915 --> 00:20:57,533
I've polished off
a full platter
448
00:20:57,601 --> 00:21:00,503
of the spicy
garlic shrimp.
449
00:21:03,189 --> 00:21:05,524
You've got 12 minutes.
450
00:21:18,822 --> 00:21:21,740
Hey, you guys. Hey, honey,
Doug and Carrie are here.
451
00:21:21,808 --> 00:21:23,209
How was the movie?
452
00:21:23,277 --> 00:21:25,811
Great. How'd things go
with my dad? Oh, great.
453
00:21:25,879 --> 00:21:28,063
Here's
the little fella.
454
00:21:29,966 --> 00:21:31,884
He fell asleep
during scarface.
455
00:21:31,951 --> 00:21:33,402
Aw.
456
00:21:33,470 --> 00:21:36,906
Ok. We'll just put him in
his pajamas when we get home.
31762
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