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1
00:00:35,649 --> 00:00:37,734
Wow. I don't know
who this brown Betty is,
2
00:00:37,802 --> 00:00:40,637
but she knows her way
around an apple.
3
00:00:40,705 --> 00:00:41,905
Can I have a bite?
4
00:00:46,244 --> 00:00:47,744
Oh, my God.
5
00:00:47,812 --> 00:00:50,480
I'll get it for you.
6
00:00:53,251 --> 00:00:56,453
Mmm! Mmm, that's good!
7
00:00:56,521 --> 00:00:57,721
How great is this place?
8
00:00:57,789 --> 00:00:59,089
The greatest!
Off the hook,
9
00:00:59,157 --> 00:01:00,573
as the kids
like to say.
10
00:01:00,641 --> 00:01:02,993
I mean, the ambience,
the view.
11
00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:04,762
I mean, look at the sun
going down over that bluff.
12
00:01:04,829 --> 00:01:06,530
And you know, I've never
been a big fan
13
00:01:06,598 --> 00:01:09,649
of the "sunset,"
but that's pretty great.
14
00:01:09,717 --> 00:01:12,485
How lucky were we just
to stumble onto this spot?
15
00:01:12,553 --> 00:01:15,405
Thank God there was a
shooting at that waffle place.
16
00:01:21,279 --> 00:01:22,829
Huh.
17
00:01:22,864 --> 00:01:24,130
That was weird.
18
00:01:24,198 --> 00:01:25,315
What?
19
00:01:25,383 --> 00:01:26,850
I don't know. I-
20
00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:28,551
when I kissed you, my
heart was beating all fast,
21
00:01:28,619 --> 00:01:31,054
and-i don't know-
felt all warm inside.
22
00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:34,291
You think something
was wrong with the shrimp?
23
00:01:34,358 --> 00:01:36,409
No.
Believe it or not,
24
00:01:36,477 --> 00:01:38,344
I think it's love.
25
00:01:38,412 --> 00:01:41,298
Shut up!
I'm serious!
26
00:01:41,365 --> 00:01:43,199
And I'm not just saying
it to get sex from you.
27
00:01:43,267 --> 00:01:44,517
Really?
Yeah.
28
00:01:44,585 --> 00:01:45,902
I mean, if you started doing stuff to me
29
00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:47,504
under the table, I
don't think I'd stop you,
30
00:01:47,572 --> 00:01:49,672
but... it's
not about that.
31
00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:51,274
You know,
I feel like
32
00:01:51,342 --> 00:01:54,211
I'm falling in love
with you all over again.
33
00:01:54,278 --> 00:01:55,628
In fact, if we
weren't married,
34
00:01:55,696 --> 00:01:58,781
I'd be proposing to you
right here, right now.
35
00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:00,017
Oh!
36
00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:01,685
And you'd be looking
into my eyes saying,
37
00:02:01,753 --> 00:02:03,854
"give me a couple of
days to think about it."
38
00:02:03,921 --> 00:02:05,355
Stop!
39
00:02:05,423 --> 00:02:08,041
Hey, you know,
I have an idea.
40
00:02:08,109 --> 00:02:10,193
Eh, forget it.
It's stupid.
41
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,795
What?
42
00:02:11,863 --> 00:02:13,697
I was just thinking,
you know, maybe we should
43
00:02:13,764 --> 00:02:15,031
renew our vows, you know?
44
00:02:15,099 --> 00:02:17,767
Have, like,
a whole ceremony here.
45
00:02:17,835 --> 00:02:19,235
On the bluff.
46
00:02:19,303 --> 00:02:20,754
I don't love it.
You don't?
47
00:02:20,821 --> 00:02:23,022
I super love it!
48
00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:25,074
Really? How great
is this gonna be?
49
00:02:25,143 --> 00:02:27,377
We'll invite all
our friends, our family,
50
00:02:27,445 --> 00:02:30,280
we'll get it catered, we'll
have someone playing the flute.
51
00:02:30,348 --> 00:02:31,581
Hey, I can finally
get my monkey.
52
00:02:34,335 --> 00:02:36,536
What's that, baby?
53
00:02:36,604 --> 00:02:37,887
Remember at our wedding,
I always wanted to have
54
00:02:37,955 --> 00:02:38,955
a monkey walk
down the aisle
55
00:02:39,023 --> 00:02:40,990
and hand me
the ring.
56
00:02:41,058 --> 00:02:43,510
Yeah. Yeah!
57
00:02:43,578 --> 00:02:46,813
No reason you can't have
your monkey this time.
58
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,982
Sweet.
59
00:02:52,436 --> 00:02:55,438
Darling, allow me
to hearken you back
60
00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:57,641
to a bleak
December day
61
00:02:57,709 --> 00:02:59,376
in the midst
of world war ii
62
00:02:59,443 --> 00:03:02,279
when a young Arthur
spooner saved the life
63
00:03:02,347 --> 00:03:05,481
of a fellow soldier
named rusty bubbico.
64
00:03:05,549 --> 00:03:08,084
Ok, is this
a random hearkening,
65
00:03:08,152 --> 00:03:09,886
or are you going
somewhere with this?
66
00:03:09,953 --> 00:03:11,638
Ok, I'm going
somewhere.
67
00:03:11,705 --> 00:03:13,323
Ok.
68
00:03:13,391 --> 00:03:17,761
We visited the red
light district one night,
69
00:03:17,829 --> 00:03:21,865
and I fronted him
a prophylactic.
70
00:03:21,933 --> 00:03:24,835
Gonorrhea was the flavor
of the month back then.
71
00:03:24,903 --> 00:03:27,054
So it's a love story.
72
00:03:27,121 --> 00:03:29,339
Heh heh! It is now.
73
00:03:29,407 --> 00:03:31,274
He gave me a fine
bottle of port wine
74
00:03:31,342 --> 00:03:33,143
as his way
of saying thanks.
75
00:03:33,210 --> 00:03:34,878
I've been saving it
all these years,
76
00:03:34,946 --> 00:03:36,212
and I've decided to
give it to you two
77
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,248
on the day
you renew your vows.
78
00:03:38,315 --> 00:03:41,100
Oh! That's very generous.
Thank you, dad.
79
00:03:41,168 --> 00:03:42,985
My pleasure,
darling.
80
00:03:44,388 --> 00:03:46,440
Ok, ma, well,
it's 3 weeks from today,
81
00:03:46,507 --> 00:03:48,675
so you better start
working on a flight out.
82
00:03:48,742 --> 00:03:51,244
We will. Joe,
we should use our Miles.
83
00:03:51,311 --> 00:03:52,846
I'm sure that weekend
will be blacked out.
84
00:03:52,913 --> 00:03:54,147
They always black out
the weekends
85
00:03:54,214 --> 00:03:55,982
we want to use
the Miles.
86
00:03:56,050 --> 00:03:57,717
We'll be there
with bells on, darling.
87
00:03:57,785 --> 00:03:58,918
Like that yogurt place.
88
00:03:58,986 --> 00:04:00,771
They stopped taking
those punch cards
89
00:04:00,838 --> 00:04:02,588
just before I was due
for my free cone.
90
00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:03,990
It's all a scam.
91
00:04:04,058 --> 00:04:05,992
Yeah, I'm sure
that the yogurt place
92
00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:07,460
and the airlines
are in cahoots.
93
00:04:07,528 --> 00:04:08,662
Focus, ma. Ok?
94
00:04:08,729 --> 00:04:09,863
You got your whole life
to talk to him.
95
00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:12,015
Sorry, dear.
Listen, don't forget
96
00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:14,250
to invite our friends smitty and Jules.
97
00:04:14,318 --> 00:04:17,086
I don't even know
who they are.
98
00:04:17,154 --> 00:04:18,822
You know
smitty and Jules.
99
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,273
Ok, not only
don't I know them,
100
00:04:20,341 --> 00:04:21,341
I don't even know
which one's the man
101
00:04:21,409 --> 00:04:23,443
and which one's
the woman.
102
00:04:23,511 --> 00:04:25,696
I'll tell them to expect an invitation.
103
00:04:25,763 --> 00:04:27,146
Ok, fine, ma. All right,
I'll talk to you later.
104
00:04:27,215 --> 00:04:28,682
I gotta go. Ok, bye-bye, sweetheart.
105
00:04:28,749 --> 00:04:30,684
All right, bye.
106
00:04:30,751 --> 00:04:34,254
Now back to the important
stuff-finding us a monkey.
107
00:04:34,322 --> 00:04:36,840
Monkey, monkey, monkey.
108
00:04:36,908 --> 00:04:39,793
"Mirrors, money orders,
monograms, mufflers."
109
00:04:39,861 --> 00:04:40,927
Where's "monkey"?
110
00:04:40,995 --> 00:04:43,463
How does monkey not have,
like, 2 full pages?
111
00:04:44,665 --> 00:04:47,267
Yeah, Doug, about the
whole monkey thing,
112
00:04:47,335 --> 00:04:49,369
I was just thinking
that, you know,
113
00:04:49,437 --> 00:04:52,105
maybe a vow renewal
monkey is a waste.
114
00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,940
You know, maybe we should
save it for something
115
00:04:54,007 --> 00:04:55,141
a little bit
more festive,
116
00:04:55,209 --> 00:04:56,610
like a cinco de Mayo
monkey.
117
00:04:56,677 --> 00:04:58,745
You know,
get him a sombrero,
118
00:04:58,812 --> 00:05:00,680
a little cap gun
six-shooter.
119
00:05:00,748 --> 00:05:03,316
You know-pow!
You know?
120
00:05:03,384 --> 00:05:05,352
Hmm. I don't know. I don't
know if I feel comfortable
121
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:06,553
degrading a monkey
that way.
122
00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:09,289
Let's-let's
just stick with the plan.
123
00:05:09,557 --> 00:05:10,957
Ok.
124
00:05:18,716 --> 00:05:21,785
It's open.
125
00:05:21,852 --> 00:05:24,821
Arthur, you know you shouldn't
leave the door unlocked like that.
126
00:05:24,888 --> 00:05:28,458
I mean, any freak can just
walk in off the street.
127
00:05:30,277 --> 00:05:31,294
Oh, very funny.
128
00:05:31,362 --> 00:05:34,497
Um, I'm returning
Carrie's copy of the hours.
129
00:05:34,565 --> 00:05:37,668
Let her know I thought
it was haunting.
130
00:05:37,735 --> 00:05:39,870
What have you
got there?
131
00:05:39,937 --> 00:05:41,705
A bottle of port I'm
giving to Doug and Carrie
132
00:05:41,773 --> 00:05:44,074
for their vow renewal.
It's my little way of saying
133
00:05:44,142 --> 00:05:45,942
how special
they are to me.
134
00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:49,379
A dugahno novidade. This
thing's worth a bundle.
135
00:05:49,446 --> 00:05:51,147
Really?
Oh, sure.
136
00:05:51,215 --> 00:05:52,849
A member of
my wine enthusiasts club
137
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:55,451
bought one
for over $1,200.
138
00:05:55,519 --> 00:05:57,320
Oh, my God!
Yeah.
139
00:05:57,388 --> 00:06:00,590
You see, the reason
it's so rare
140
00:06:00,658 --> 00:06:03,493
is that year there was an early
frost, so the grape harvest-
141
00:06:03,561 --> 00:06:06,763
message received,
stubby.
142
00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:08,932
Why are you
so bent out of shape?
143
00:06:08,999 --> 00:06:10,016
Don't you get it?
144
00:06:10,084 --> 00:06:12,519
I promised to give this
to Douglas and Carrie.
145
00:06:12,587 --> 00:06:15,855
Damn it. Why didn't I just
make them another birdhouse?
146
00:06:23,646 --> 00:06:26,081
Wedding vow
renewal, huh?
147
00:06:26,148 --> 00:06:27,849
What you plan
on doing,
148
00:06:27,917 --> 00:06:30,552
you know,
best man-wise?
149
00:06:30,619 --> 00:06:32,087
Is it gonna be
Deacon again?
150
00:06:32,155 --> 00:06:33,638
Because at your wedding, you picked him
151
00:06:33,706 --> 00:06:35,823
and, you know,
not me,
152
00:06:35,891 --> 00:06:37,125
and not that
I really cared,
153
00:06:37,193 --> 00:06:40,729
but it was... weird.
154
00:06:40,796 --> 00:06:44,015
Actually, you know what? I'm
not going with a best man.
155
00:06:44,083 --> 00:06:45,484
Uh, hello!
156
00:06:45,551 --> 00:06:46,818
Someone has to hand you
the wedding ring.
157
00:06:46,885 --> 00:06:47,885
It's tradition.
158
00:06:47,953 --> 00:06:50,755
Yeah. I'm having
a monkey do that.
159
00:06:50,823 --> 00:06:52,357
What?
160
00:06:52,424 --> 00:06:53,659
Yeah, I was gonna go
with a spider monkey,
161
00:06:53,726 --> 00:06:56,528
and then I decided you
only get married again once,
162
00:06:56,596 --> 00:06:58,363
so I'm going
with a chimp.
163
00:06:58,430 --> 00:07:00,131
That's your Cadillac
of monkeys.
164
00:07:00,199 --> 00:07:01,466
Wait a minute here.
Hold on.
165
00:07:01,534 --> 00:07:04,102
I lost out
on being best man...
166
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:05,653
To a monkey?
167
00:07:05,721 --> 00:07:07,555
Not by much.
168
00:07:07,623 --> 00:07:09,875
I can't believe this.
169
00:07:09,942 --> 00:07:10,793
How can I help you?
170
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:12,210
Oh, ok, uh, well,
171
00:07:12,277 --> 00:07:13,511
my wife and I,
we're renewing our vows,
172
00:07:13,579 --> 00:07:16,448
and we need to rent some
chairs and tables and stuff.
173
00:07:16,515 --> 00:07:18,016
Here's the date,
there's the time.
174
00:07:18,084 --> 00:07:20,018
Now, do I need to leave
you a deposit or you-
175
00:07:20,086 --> 00:07:21,236
first things first.
176
00:07:21,304 --> 00:07:23,838
What kind of chairs
did you want?
177
00:07:23,906 --> 00:07:25,757
Uh...
178
00:07:25,825 --> 00:07:27,826
The kind you, uh,
179
00:07:27,894 --> 00:07:30,595
sit on.
180
00:07:30,663 --> 00:07:33,082
We offer
11 different styles.
181
00:07:33,149 --> 00:07:34,483
Flat back, arched,
faux bamboo.
182
00:07:34,551 --> 00:07:37,419
I'm obliged to also
mention bean bag chairs,
183
00:07:37,487 --> 00:07:41,390
but I forbid you. Sit down
and I'll go get our catalog.
184
00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:42,574
Ok.
185
00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:48,514
"The beastie boy"?
186
00:07:48,581 --> 00:07:50,115
Oh, that's
my monkey guy.
187
00:07:51,684 --> 00:07:55,437
Hello. Hey! So we're
good to go on the 18th?
188
00:07:57,273 --> 00:07:59,073
What?
189
00:07:59,141 --> 00:08:01,376
Ohh. Can't
fleischman Toyota
190
00:08:01,444 --> 00:08:03,978
have their "going
bananas" sale without him?
191
00:08:05,364 --> 00:08:07,766
Ok, fine. Um,
so I guess we'll go
192
00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:11,002
with that
spider monkey.
193
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:13,939
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
194
00:08:14,006 --> 00:08:16,207
Ok, then. Thanks.
195
00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:18,110
I can't believe this.
I can't get my monkey.
196
00:08:18,177 --> 00:08:20,112
Oh, can't you?
197
00:08:20,179 --> 00:08:22,481
Well, maybe
I'm not available now.
198
00:08:22,548 --> 00:08:23,582
All right.
199
00:08:23,649 --> 00:08:25,484
No, no, I'll do it,
I'll do it.
200
00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:32,657
Yes, hi. I'm looking for
Maria ferraro, the flutist.
201
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,409
This is she.
The flautist.
202
00:08:34,477 --> 00:08:36,861
Hey, potay-to,
potah-to, right?
203
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,197
It's flautist.
204
00:08:39,265 --> 00:08:41,699
Right. Anyway, my husband
and I were thinking
205
00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:44,002
about hiring you
for our vow renewal,
206
00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:45,270
and I was just wondering
if I could hear you
207
00:08:45,338 --> 00:08:46,704
play
a little something.
208
00:08:46,772 --> 00:08:49,040
Well, the phone isn't
really the best medium.
209
00:08:49,108 --> 00:08:52,711
Either flaut or
get off the pot, ok?
210
00:08:56,882 --> 00:08:58,783
Uh, hello? Would you
just hold on
211
00:08:58,851 --> 00:09:00,619
for one second, ok?
212
00:09:00,686 --> 00:09:03,554
Hello? Miss?
Yoo-hoo!
213
00:09:04,957 --> 00:09:07,759
Be right back.
Hello.
214
00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:09,961
Hi, darling.
I was just thinking
215
00:09:10,029 --> 00:09:12,363
instead of that
stodgy old port wine,
216
00:09:12,431 --> 00:09:14,198
how about if I float you
a delightful bottle
217
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:17,002
of peach schnapps?
Nearly full.
218
00:09:17,069 --> 00:09:19,638
Well, dad, I kind of
had my heart set
219
00:09:19,705 --> 00:09:21,172
on trying the port.
220
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,509
Uh-huh. What about
if I throw in a canned ham?
221
00:09:25,878 --> 00:09:28,880
All right, I gotta go. I'll
talk to you later. Hello?
222
00:09:28,948 --> 00:09:30,782
Hey, I need you
to decide on a table.
223
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:33,051
They have round, oval,
square, rectangle,
224
00:09:33,119 --> 00:09:34,585
one in that
stop-sign shape-
225
00:09:34,654 --> 00:09:35,921
I'm on the other line
right now, honey.
226
00:09:35,989 --> 00:09:37,572
Listen, I am very close
to blacking out.
227
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,657
Please pick a shape.
228
00:09:39,725 --> 00:09:41,210
I am on the other line
with the flute lady.
229
00:09:41,277 --> 00:09:42,377
Wait a second.
No, I gotta go.
230
00:09:42,445 --> 00:09:44,379
I'll talk to you
at home. Ok, bye.
231
00:09:44,447 --> 00:09:47,516
That sounded great.
232
00:09:48,918 --> 00:09:52,854
Hello?
You still there?
233
00:09:52,922 --> 00:09:55,457
Where are you?
234
00:09:55,525 --> 00:09:57,659
I think the more
appropriate question
235
00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:00,462
is where were you?
236
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:02,931
Oh, um, I'm sorry.
See, what happened was-
237
00:10:09,555 --> 00:10:11,522
ugh! This party!
238
00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:13,158
Are all flautists
bitches?
239
00:10:13,225 --> 00:10:15,226
Because I know
3 of them are.
240
00:10:15,294 --> 00:10:17,829
And the bakery won't
deliver to the bluff,
241
00:10:17,897 --> 00:10:19,831
so we gotta
drive 25 Miles
242
00:10:19,899 --> 00:10:22,701
with a 4-foot-high cake
strapped to our hood.
243
00:10:22,768 --> 00:10:24,736
And port-a-potties
are a fortune.
244
00:10:24,804 --> 00:10:26,504
Can't we just tell
everybody on the invitation
245
00:10:26,572 --> 00:10:29,774
to come having peed?
246
00:10:29,842 --> 00:10:31,475
What's the matter
with you?
247
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,862
Mr. bongo's a whore.
248
00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:35,213
What?
249
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,215
He blew us off
because he got a job
250
00:10:37,283 --> 00:10:40,185
working a Toyota dealership
with Phil Simms.
251
00:10:40,253 --> 00:10:42,320
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
252
00:10:44,656 --> 00:10:45,690
Who would've thought
253
00:10:45,758 --> 00:10:47,125
that a beautiful thing
like a vow renewal
254
00:10:47,193 --> 00:10:49,361
would be such
a pain in the ass?
255
00:10:49,428 --> 00:10:50,862
I know.
256
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:53,398
But you're still
into it, right?
257
00:10:53,465 --> 00:10:54,933
Yeah.
258
00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:56,101
I mean, if you are.
259
00:10:56,168 --> 00:10:59,003
No, I am.
260
00:10:59,071 --> 00:11:01,473
I'd be willing not to, though, if you-
261
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:02,223
ok.
Really?
262
00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:04,126
Yeah.
Oh, my God!
263
00:11:04,193 --> 00:11:07,779
I am so relieved! We are
killing ourselves here.
264
00:11:07,847 --> 00:11:09,497
Yes!
265
00:11:09,565 --> 00:11:10,949
Oh, I'm so happy
we're not doing this.
266
00:11:11,016 --> 00:11:12,283
What were we thinking?
267
00:11:12,351 --> 00:11:13,418
I know! I mean, we already did our vows.
268
00:11:13,486 --> 00:11:14,519
We said them once.
269
00:11:14,587 --> 00:11:16,021
They never go bad.
They're like twinkies.
270
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:17,355
Right!
271
00:11:17,423 --> 00:11:18,306
Hey, kids,
don't mind me.
272
00:11:18,374 --> 00:11:20,025
Just dropping off
some literature.
273
00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:22,093
Apparently, they found
a link between port wine
274
00:11:22,161 --> 00:11:24,696
and irritable
bowel syndrome.
275
00:11:24,764 --> 00:11:26,164
Oh, that's ok, dad.
276
00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:28,066
We decided not
to renew our vows.
277
00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:31,636
Oh, well,
that's too bad.
278
00:11:31,704 --> 00:11:33,789
Hot dog!
279
00:11:37,376 --> 00:11:38,777
Hello.
280
00:11:38,844 --> 00:11:40,912
Dougie, it's mom. Hey, ma.
281
00:11:40,979 --> 00:11:43,098
I just wanted you to
know smitty is diabetic
282
00:11:43,165 --> 00:11:44,265
and is wondering
if you're gonna have
283
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,634
splenda packets
on the table.
284
00:11:46,702 --> 00:11:49,087
Oh, well,
you can tell him...
285
00:11:49,155 --> 00:11:50,721
Or her not to worry
286
00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:52,523
because we're calling
the whole thing off.
287
00:11:52,591 --> 00:11:53,825
What?
288
00:11:53,893 --> 00:11:54,609
Yeah, you know what?
289
00:11:54,677 --> 00:11:55,660
It just turned
into a huge pain,
290
00:11:55,728 --> 00:11:57,595
and we just
decided to bag it.
291
00:11:57,663 --> 00:12:00,432
Oh. I see.
292
00:12:02,635 --> 00:12:05,336
Well, I'll tell smitty,
and, uh,
293
00:12:05,404 --> 00:12:07,639
that's that, then.
294
00:12:07,706 --> 00:12:09,107
Ok, ma,
then say hi to dad,
295
00:12:09,174 --> 00:12:10,308
and I'll talk
to you soon.
296
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:12,410
Good-bye, sweetheart. Bye.
297
00:12:12,478 --> 00:12:15,413
Joe! The kids
are in trouble!
298
00:12:21,152 --> 00:12:22,936
Hey, Carrie.
299
00:12:23,004 --> 00:12:25,572
I need you to 3-hole-punch
this set of papers,
300
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,241
and 2-hole-punch
this set,
301
00:12:27,308 --> 00:12:29,743
and remember to save
those little circles-
302
00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:31,511
for new year's Eve
confetti. I know.
303
00:12:31,579 --> 00:12:32,646
Ok. You're the best.
304
00:12:32,713 --> 00:12:33,980
Mm-hmm.
305
00:12:34,049 --> 00:12:37,251
Oh, by the way, I'm coming
solo to your vow renewal.
306
00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:38,384
I figure
romantic setting,
307
00:12:38,452 --> 00:12:40,153
why bring
an old cow along
308
00:12:40,221 --> 00:12:43,423
when there are new calves
for the lassoing?
309
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:46,559
You didn't hear? We
canceled the whole thing.
310
00:12:46,627 --> 00:12:49,146
Oh. Sorry.
That's too bad.
311
00:12:49,213 --> 00:12:52,415
Oh, no, no. It's ok.
It just became a hassle.
312
00:12:52,483 --> 00:12:55,101
A hassle. Mm-hmm.
313
00:12:56,637 --> 00:12:57,871
You know, Carrie,
314
00:12:57,939 --> 00:13:01,375
we have a policy for
what we call crisis leave.
315
00:13:01,443 --> 00:13:02,809
Yeah, no, I know.
316
00:13:02,877 --> 00:13:06,680
I remember from
when you took yours.
317
00:13:06,748 --> 00:13:08,148
But, no, we're fine.
Doug and I are great.
318
00:13:08,216 --> 00:13:10,016
We've never
been better.
319
00:13:10,084 --> 00:13:12,068
Right.
320
00:13:19,677 --> 00:13:23,197
Hey, kiddo. I just heard
you called things off.
321
00:13:23,264 --> 00:13:24,998
You ok?
322
00:13:29,604 --> 00:13:30,770
Yeah?
323
00:13:32,539 --> 00:13:34,141
Talk to me, guy.
324
00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:35,508
Excuse me?
325
00:13:35,576 --> 00:13:36,626
Talk to me.
326
00:13:36,694 --> 00:13:37,927
About what?
327
00:13:37,996 --> 00:13:40,964
Talk... to... me.
328
00:13:41,032 --> 00:13:42,699
Hey!
329
00:13:42,766 --> 00:13:45,552
Look, I heard you
were canceling your vows.
330
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:48,788
I
- I had no idea things were this bad with you two.
331
00:13:48,856 --> 00:13:50,140
It's not bad. What
are you talking about?
332
00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,975
It just became a big
pain, that's all.
333
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:54,661
Hey, when I accepted
334
00:13:54,729 --> 00:13:56,730
your invitation
to be your best man,
335
00:13:56,797 --> 00:13:59,866
I didn't just sign up
for the good times.
336
00:13:59,934 --> 00:14:02,002
I consider it
a responsibility,
337
00:14:02,069 --> 00:14:04,838
and I take it
very seriously.
338
00:14:04,905 --> 00:14:06,523
You were supposed
to be a monkey.
339
00:14:06,591 --> 00:14:08,624
Shh!
340
00:14:08,692 --> 00:14:10,310
Easy.
341
00:14:10,377 --> 00:14:12,412
It's me here.
342
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,666
Take off the mask.
343
00:14:15,733 --> 00:14:18,252
Let me see your face.
344
00:14:18,319 --> 00:14:19,670
Ok, you know what? You're
right. You're right, man.
345
00:14:19,737 --> 00:14:21,572
We should talk,
but, uh,
346
00:14:21,639 --> 00:14:22,806
I'll tell you what.
These walls have ears,
347
00:14:22,873 --> 00:14:23,873
so let's go outside
and do it out there.
348
00:14:23,941 --> 00:14:24,941
Oh, good call, buddy.
349
00:14:25,009 --> 00:14:25,942
Yeah, totally.
350
00:14:26,010 --> 00:14:28,178
Ahem. Ok.
351
00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:35,368
So has anybody
bought my port?
352
00:14:35,436 --> 00:14:36,769
We don't know
yet, ok?
353
00:14:36,838 --> 00:14:37,838
This is
an on-line auction.
354
00:14:37,905 --> 00:14:39,639
It could go on
for days.
355
00:14:39,707 --> 00:14:41,592
Well, I can't
sit here for days.
356
00:14:41,659 --> 00:14:43,576
I mean, the next 2
are fine, but on Thursday,
357
00:14:43,645 --> 00:14:45,879
I'm sampling food
at costco with Mickey.
358
00:14:47,698 --> 00:14:50,934
The current bid
is...
359
00:14:51,002 --> 00:14:53,770
$1,350!
360
00:14:53,837 --> 00:14:55,605
Mamaloshen!
361
00:14:57,825 --> 00:15:01,444
Ohh. Hey, guys. What are
you doing on my computer?
362
00:15:01,512 --> 00:15:03,045
Oh, just, uh...
363
00:15:03,113 --> 00:15:06,099
Looking at pornography,
sweetheart.
364
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:08,068
Well, good luck
with that.
365
00:15:08,136 --> 00:15:09,870
Thank you.
366
00:15:11,071 --> 00:15:15,008
Supermarket
knockoff advil now!
367
00:15:15,075 --> 00:15:16,342
What's wrong
with you?
368
00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:17,878
Oh, work was crazy.
369
00:15:17,945 --> 00:15:19,746
I mean, ever since we
canceled renewing our vows,
370
00:15:19,814 --> 00:15:21,481
everyone thinks our
marriage is in trouble.
371
00:15:21,549 --> 00:15:23,533
They were all like,
"are you ok?
372
00:15:23,685 --> 00:15:25,085
We're here for you,
sweetie."
373
00:15:25,153 --> 00:15:27,821
It's so
freakin' annoying.
374
00:15:27,889 --> 00:15:29,857
I got the same thing
from Danny,
375
00:15:29,924 --> 00:15:33,193
and the chair guy
invited me out for Sushi.
376
00:15:35,312 --> 00:15:37,363
You know what?
Let the machine get it.
377
00:15:37,431 --> 00:15:39,833
It's probably just Danny
reminding me hugs are free.
378
00:15:41,635 --> 00:15:43,636
Dougie,
it's your mother.
379
00:15:43,705 --> 00:15:46,923
I'm gonna try and
say this without crying.
380
00:15:46,991 --> 00:15:50,844
Every marriage
has its potholes...
381
00:15:50,912 --> 00:15:54,598
Oh, God.
It's spread to Florida.
382
00:15:54,665 --> 00:15:58,368
And marriage can be a long
and wonderful winding road.
383
00:15:58,435 --> 00:15:59,235
All right,
you know what?
384
00:15:59,303 --> 00:16:00,387
Should we just
go through with this
385
00:16:00,455 --> 00:16:02,622
to stop
this madness?
386
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:03,289
What, are you crazy?
We're not gonna do it
387
00:16:03,357 --> 00:16:05,275
just to prove
something to people.
388
00:16:05,343 --> 00:16:07,660
Doug, I can't live
like this anymore!
389
00:16:07,728 --> 00:16:09,479
And when trouble
comes into that home-
390
00:16:09,547 --> 00:16:11,782
oh, for the love of Pete!
Will you leave them alone?
391
00:16:11,849 --> 00:16:13,750
Go back
to your program, Joe!
392
00:16:13,818 --> 00:16:16,753
This is a private
conversation.
393
00:16:16,821 --> 00:16:19,772
When you have trouble,
394
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,108
all you need to get through
it is faith in each other
395
00:16:22,176 --> 00:16:23,377
and in God.
396
00:16:23,444 --> 00:16:26,413
Oh, great. Now she's got
God in the middle of this.
397
00:16:26,481 --> 00:16:29,065
That's
a lot of firepower.
398
00:16:29,132 --> 00:16:31,418
All right, all right,
we'll do it!
399
00:16:31,486 --> 00:16:34,253
Ma, ma, yeah.
Don't worry.
400
00:16:34,321 --> 00:16:37,457
You know what? We're
gonna renew the vows.
401
00:16:37,524 --> 00:16:39,492
Well, I'm glad
you're happy.
402
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,946
Ok. Bye.
403
00:16:43,014 --> 00:16:45,398
That's a kick
in the oblongs.
404
00:16:48,753 --> 00:16:51,204
And it's because of
the love that you two share
405
00:16:51,272 --> 00:16:53,089
that you've chosen
to come together
406
00:16:53,157 --> 00:16:56,526
at this blessed renewal
of your wedding vows.
407
00:17:00,965 --> 00:17:02,649
Am I correct?
408
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:03,800
Hmm?
409
00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:06,836
Oh. Yeah, yeah. Beautiful
thing, beautiful.
410
00:17:06,904 --> 00:17:10,573
Well, now, are you planning
on writing your own vows?
411
00:17:10,641 --> 00:17:12,091
Gotta be honest
with you, father.
412
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,362
Whatever you
got handy is fine.
413
00:17:15,429 --> 00:17:16,797
Yeah, we'll just
take the standard vows,
414
00:17:16,864 --> 00:17:20,066
and we'll fill in all the
personal stuff, like mad libs.
415
00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:23,386
Uh, Doug, uh, Carrie,
416
00:17:23,454 --> 00:17:26,556
you do realize
this is a vow renewal.
417
00:17:26,624 --> 00:17:28,758
You don't
have to do this.
418
00:17:28,826 --> 00:17:30,427
Oh, no, no, no,
we have to do this.
419
00:17:30,494 --> 00:17:32,729
Yeah, because everyone
we know is all over us
420
00:17:32,796 --> 00:17:35,064
because
of her great idea.
421
00:17:35,132 --> 00:17:36,800
Whoa, whoa!
422
00:17:36,867 --> 00:17:39,268
You're not trying to
blame me for this, are you?
423
00:17:39,336 --> 00:17:40,420
All I'm saying is if
you hadn't thought of it,
424
00:17:40,488 --> 00:17:42,389
my mom wouldn't be crying
into our answering machine.
425
00:17:42,456 --> 00:17:43,557
Oh, please,
would you?
426
00:17:43,624 --> 00:17:44,874
I'm gonna go get
427
00:17:44,942 --> 00:17:47,827
the affirmation
of love pamphlet.
428
00:17:47,895 --> 00:17:50,130
First of all, the only
reason why I thought of it
429
00:17:50,198 --> 00:17:53,116
in the first place is because
you were going on and on
430
00:17:53,184 --> 00:17:56,386
about how much "in love" you
were with me at the restaurant.
431
00:17:56,454 --> 00:17:58,038
And the only reason I
was saying I was "in love"
432
00:17:58,105 --> 00:17:59,605
with you is because
you got me drunk
433
00:17:59,673 --> 00:18:01,641
and promised me
a monkey.
434
00:18:01,708 --> 00:18:04,978
Oh, yeah, Doug, and that
was a brilliant idea-
435
00:18:05,046 --> 00:18:06,846
take our sacred
wedding vows
436
00:18:06,914 --> 00:18:08,782
and turn it into
a friggin' circus!
437
00:18:08,849 --> 00:18:10,717
I knew it. You've
always hated my monkey!
438
00:18:10,784 --> 00:18:11,968
From the beginning!
439
00:18:12,036 --> 00:18:13,786
Ya think?
440
00:18:13,854 --> 00:18:15,955
Doug, Carrie.
441
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:20,760
I have a young, happy couple
waiting right outside.
442
00:18:20,828 --> 00:18:21,711
Oh, sorry, father.
443
00:18:21,779 --> 00:18:23,697
We'll-we'll lower our voices. Yeah.
444
00:18:23,765 --> 00:18:27,166
I was wondering if you guys
could, uh, just...
445
00:18:40,198 --> 00:18:41,948
She's
45 minutes late.
446
00:18:42,016 --> 00:18:43,349
I don't think
she's coming.
447
00:18:43,417 --> 00:18:44,784
The girl's
just a little late.
448
00:18:44,852 --> 00:18:47,286
Scatterbrained
is all she is.
449
00:18:47,354 --> 00:18:50,256
I'm not so sure.
Pray with me, Joe.
450
00:18:50,324 --> 00:18:52,358
She'll be here!
451
00:18:52,426 --> 00:18:55,996
You don't know that!
452
00:18:56,063 --> 00:18:56,930
Poor kid.
453
00:18:56,997 --> 00:18:58,465
You know, I saw the whole thing coming.
454
00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:01,668
Everyone did.
She's been so stressed.
455
00:19:01,736 --> 00:19:03,437
I heard her
yell at a flautist.
456
00:19:03,504 --> 00:19:05,972
Yowch.
457
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,357
This is unbelievable.
458
00:19:07,424 --> 00:19:09,242
You all right, man?
You need anything?
459
00:19:09,309 --> 00:19:10,577
Hey, step off, pal.
460
00:19:10,645 --> 00:19:13,813
I'm the best man.
You had your chance.
461
00:19:13,881 --> 00:19:16,032
I was just gonna ask if
he wanted another soda.
462
00:19:16,099 --> 00:19:18,067
Yeah, well, now I'm gonna ask
him if he wants another soda.
463
00:19:18,135 --> 00:19:19,201
You want another soda?
No.
464
00:19:19,269 --> 00:19:20,803
No. He said no. All right.
Take a stroll, babe.
465
00:19:20,871 --> 00:19:22,138
Bye-bye!
466
00:19:23,957 --> 00:19:27,010
Well, folks, looks like Douglas
has been left at the altar.
467
00:19:27,077 --> 00:19:30,113
Let's form an orderly line
and walk away from the bluff,
468
00:19:30,181 --> 00:19:31,514
and any gifts
you may have brought
469
00:19:31,582 --> 00:19:34,784
are obviously
yours to keep.
470
00:19:34,852 --> 00:19:36,652
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! I
haven't been left at the altar!
471
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,522
Ok? Carrie
will be here.
472
00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:41,958
Our relationship
is fine!
473
00:19:42,026 --> 00:19:43,226
It's great!
474
00:19:44,828 --> 00:19:46,997
All right,
look, it's not great.
475
00:19:47,064 --> 00:19:49,266
Ok, we're in a huge fight
right now,
476
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:52,035
and I'm sure
that's why she's late.
477
00:19:52,103 --> 00:19:53,270
But the only reason
we're in a big fight
478
00:19:53,337 --> 00:19:54,670
is because of all of you!
479
00:19:54,738 --> 00:19:57,207
That's right,
you, mom, and dad
480
00:19:57,275 --> 00:19:59,075
and Danny and smitty
481
00:19:59,142 --> 00:20:01,227
or Jules,
whichever one you are,
482
00:20:01,295 --> 00:20:03,212
and girl
from Carrie's office
483
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,897
whose name I just
don't remember right now.
484
00:20:04,966 --> 00:20:06,599
Amy.
Yeah, Amy! Wow!
485
00:20:06,667 --> 00:20:09,302
I was thinking Darla.
I was way off.
486
00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:11,254
But the point is, this
is all your fault, ok?
487
00:20:11,322 --> 00:20:13,639
So don't judge us. We
didn't want to do this.
488
00:20:13,707 --> 00:20:15,575
We're just doing this
for you.
489
00:20:15,642 --> 00:20:17,811
Joe, look!
490
00:20:22,149 --> 00:20:24,233
Oh, damn it.
491
00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:37,179
Sorry I'm late.
492
00:20:37,248 --> 00:20:39,915
I had to make a pit stop
at fleischman Toyota.
493
00:20:39,983 --> 00:20:42,084
You brought my monkey.
494
00:20:42,152 --> 00:20:44,304
Here's the ring.
495
00:20:44,372 --> 00:20:48,174
And, uh, here's
a toast I wrote.
496
00:20:51,662 --> 00:20:54,998
Listen, Doug, I heard everything
you were saying to everyone,
497
00:20:55,066 --> 00:20:56,165
and I want to tell you
498
00:20:56,233 --> 00:20:58,702
that I'm not doing this
for any of them.
499
00:20:58,769 --> 00:21:00,870
I'm doing this for us,
500
00:21:00,938 --> 00:21:02,656
'cause I love you
501
00:21:02,723 --> 00:21:05,325
very much.
502
00:21:05,392 --> 00:21:07,660
Now take the monkey,
'cause he smells.
503
00:21:11,331 --> 00:21:13,232
Friends, relatives,
504
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:16,436
we are gathered
here today
505
00:21:16,503 --> 00:21:19,940
for the blessed renewal
of the wedding vows
506
00:21:20,007 --> 00:21:22,742
of Doug and Carrie.
507
00:21:35,339 --> 00:21:37,273
Son of a bitch.
35806
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