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1
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:05,800
Morning, Charlie.
2
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:09,400
Charlie.
3
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,200
Good, I don't have to give him
mouth-to-mouth.
4
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,000
Morning.
5
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,300
He sleeping?
6
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:24,500
Sure, let's call it sleep.
7
00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,200
Uncle Charlie, I'm gonna have
a bowl of Maple Loops.
8
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,000
You want one?
9
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:44,500
You sure he's okay?
10
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,500
I never said
he was okay.
11
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:55,400
Freaky.
12
00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:59,000
You really shouldn't
see him like this, Jake.
13
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,500
There. Now you can
enjoy your breakfast.
14
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,400
What's wrong with him?
15
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,000
Oh, he's getting old, kiddo.
16
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,300
I wish you could've
seen him in his prime.
17
00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,000
He was like Babe Ruth.
18
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,500
He played baseball?
19
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,400
No, he was a drunken
whore-monger.
20
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,900
But there was none better.
21
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,300
Oh, God, look what the cat
dragged in.
22
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:31,000
He didn't just drag it,
he ate it, pooped it out
23
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,300
and then covered it with sand.
24
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:35,300
You know what'd be funny?
25
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,500
To paint a big mustache on him.
26
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,300
That would be hilarious...
27
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:41,700
but no.
28
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:43,900
Charlie?
29
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:46,500
Charlie?
30
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:48,400
Yeah?
31
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:50,400
You okay?
32
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,200
Yeah.
33
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:54,200
What time did
you get home?
34
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,800
I'm home?
35
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:01,300
You are.
36
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,000
Oh, God, I'm blind.
37
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:12,900
It's a miracle.
38
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:25,000
www.1000fr.com present
39
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:41,000
Capture:FRM@XXX
Sync:FRM@LePetitPrince
40
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,300
Okaysee you tomorrow.
41
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,100
Good night, Berta.
42
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,100
Hey.
43
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,200
Look who's finally up.
44
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,800
How'd you sleep?
45
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,000
Okay, I guess.
46
00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,900
Good, I'm glad.
47
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,500
Oh, Tater Tots.
48
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:06,700
Help yourself.
49
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,800
Jake, I said no.
50
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:11,800
I didn't dot.
51
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,600
He didn't.
52
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,600
What are you staring at?
53
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,700
Nothing, se?r.
54
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,200
So, uh, how are you feeling?
55
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,600
Depends.
56
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000
What day is it?
57
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:49,500
Saturday.
58
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:50,300
Oh.
59
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:52,000
Well, in that case I feel great.
60
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,100
Why "in that case"?
61
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,400
If it was Thursday,
I'd be a little worried.
62
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,700
I don't know, Charlie,
you've been pushing it
pretty hard lately.
63
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,800
What do you mean?
64
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,100
I mean you're not a kid anymore.
65
00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:03,500
Oh, please.
66
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,200
I'm in the best shape
of my life.
67
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,800
Now, that doesn't belong
inside of me.
68
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,300
It takes a lot to gross me out,
but wow.
69
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,200
Hey, get your stuff together.
I'm going to bring you
back to your mom's.
70
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,400
Let me tell you something, Alan.
71
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,900
You're only as young
as the women you feel.
72
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,900
And lately,
I've been feeling about 24.
73
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:32,900
Twenty-four?
74
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,000
Yep, and she doesn't think
I'm old.
75
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,400
She thinks I'm cute and fun.
76
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,200
And rich.
77
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,200
Yeah, the rich helps.
78
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,200
I'm not that cute.
79
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:41,600
Okay, fine.
80
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,700
I understand the allure,
the nectar of the young berry.
81
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,600
But I also know what happens
when you burn a candle
at both ends.
82
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:50,800
How would you know that?
83
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,300
Did you take a candle-making
class at the Learning Annex?
84
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,800
Hey, I have done my share
of walking on the wild side.
85
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,300
The wild side?
86
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,500
Okay, the rambunctious side.
87
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,600
My point is there comes a time
in a man's life
88
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,600
when he has to start accepting
his limitations.
89
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,300
Yeah, well, my point is the day
you start accepting limitations
90
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,200
is the day you start dying.
91
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,000
And I'm not dying, my friend;
92
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,300
????????
93
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:19,500
Now, if you'll excuse me,
94
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,400
I'm gonna go throw
up and take a nap.
95
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,000
That was fun!
96
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:31,900
Yeah.
97
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,900
How long until
you're ready to go again?
98
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,300
You mean tonight?
99
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:37,800
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
100
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,100
You're old.
101
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,300
Hey, hey, hey, I'm not old.
102
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,200
I'm just not a...
yogurt dispenser.
103
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,800
You're almost
as olds my dad.
104
00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,600
All right, listen,
if you're looking to go again,
105
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,000
that's not the way
get there.
106
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,000
Aw, did I hurt your feelings?
107
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,900
No, no, you didn't hurt
my feelings.
108
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:57,700
It's just, you know,
there are certain
109
00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:00,100
biological factors
you have to take into account...
110
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,500
Yeah, my dad takes Viagra.
111
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:04,600
Good for him.
112
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,400
All I'm saying is
113
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,000
we could do something else
for a while
114
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,400
and then come back to this.
115
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,600
Great, let's go to a club.
116
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,400
Now?
117
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,400
It's 11:00.
118
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:15,900
So we'll get there early.
119
00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:19,900
Actually, I was thinking more
along the lines of
120
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:23,000
making some toaster pizzas
and watching The Daily Show.
121
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:25,700
Oh.
122
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:26,500
What?
123
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,700
I'm bored.
124
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,900
If we're not gonna have sex,
I nt to go out.
125
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,300
Okay, tell you what,
why don't you go out
126
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,600
and, you know,
boogie-oogie-oogie,
127
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:41,100
and when you come back,
wake me up and we'll have sex.
128
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,700
That's a lame idea, Charlie.
129
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:45,600
Okay, you can skip
the waking me up part.
130
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,400
I'm just gonna go
call some friends.
131
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,500
No, no, wait, wait.
132
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:50,500
Come here, come he.
133
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,300
I think I'm ready
to go again.
134
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,400
Really?
Really.
135
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,000
I got nothing--
let's go dancing.
136
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,800
Yeah, I'm coming with the guy
I told you about, the old guy.
137
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,000
I don't know.
138
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,800
I think he's got a little
brother who's old, too.
139
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:17,900
I'll ask him.
140
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:18,800
Great, we'll see you there.
141
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,400
Hey, do you think your brother
would want tcome with us?
142
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:22,600
Alan?
143
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,000
No, he's not the type.
144
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,200
He'd be miserable going to
a dance club at this hour.
145
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,200
Wait here, I'll go get him.
146
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,000
Hey.
Oh, you just missed it.
147
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,800
Jon Stewart made a very clever
joke about the budget deficit.
148
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:38,900
Swell.
149
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,400
Get dressed,
we're going dancing.
150
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,500
Yeah, right.
151
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:42,300
Toaster pizza?
152
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,900
No, come on, let's go.
153
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:46,900
You're serious?
Yes.
154
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,900
But it's after 11:00,
and I'm all tucked in.
155
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:51,900
Too bad.
156
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:53,300
I'm drinking nighty-night tea.
157
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,800
Come on, Robin
wants to go dancing,
158
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,200
and I'm gonna need
a designated driver.
159
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,600
Hey, just 'cause you're
making a fool of yourself
160
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,300
trying to keep up
with a 24-year-old girl,
161
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:03,500
doesn't mean I have to join you.
162
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,500
She has a 24-year-old
girlfriend.
163
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,500
Is it dressy-dressy
or dressy-casual?
164
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,900
Just take it.
Maybe it'll
loosen you up.
165
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,500
I don't think so.
166
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,400
Recent studies
indicate that ecstasy
167
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,100
may well deplete
your spinal fluid.
168
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:23,700
ah, so?
169
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,000
So?
Young lady,
I am a chiropractor.
170
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:28,700
Whoo.
171
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,000
You know what,
172
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,400
my date isn't working out.
173
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,800
Well, maybe
you'd get somewhere
174
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,800
if you stopped talking to her
like you're her fher.
175
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:40,100
Well, somebody has to,
because her real father
has obviously dropped the ball.
176
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,800
Oh, wonderful, a smoker.
177
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,300
So I guess you're counting on
stem cell research
178
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,100
to replace your spine
and lungs.
179
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,000
Alan, Alan,
you're embarrassing me.
180
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,200
I'm embarrassing you?
Look at yourself.
181
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,000
You're standing in
line in a dank alley
182
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,600
in the middle of
the Urine District.
183
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,700
Hey, this is the hippest
club in town.
184
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:04,800
Oh, hip, schmip-- it's
a toilet with a doorman.
185
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,300
Somebody lit a doobie.
186
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,500
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah,
187
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,000
that is definitely
the ganja.
188
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,300
Great, now we're all
gonna get busted.
189
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:20,800
Will you just relax
and let yourself have some fun?
190
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,400
Oh, this is fun for you?
191
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,300
Exhaust fumes
and reefer smoke?
192
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:25,400
Let me tell you
something, Charlie.
193
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,400
I'm not a kid anymore.
194
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,600
I need plenty of
rest, exercise and a gh-fiber
diet, and...
195
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,300
Oh, perfect, I just
stepped on a condom.
196
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,600
Go ahead,
have a good time.
197
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,400
Hold it.
We're with them.
198
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:40,500
I don't think so.
199
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:42,700
No, no, we are.
Although truth be told,
200
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:44,500
I don't see a long-term
relationship in the offing.
201
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:45,300
You understand.
202
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:47,300
Don't touch the rope.
203
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:49,500
Sorry.
204
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,000
I didn't realize you
were king of the rope.
205
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:55,000
(softly):
Shut up, Alan.
206
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,000
Look, if you're not
on the list,
you're not getting in.
207
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,300
You let the girls in.
208
00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,700
Alan.
He let the girls in.
209
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,800
That's because pretty girls
dress up the place.
210
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,600
Watch how this works.
211
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:06,800
Listen...
212
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,700
why don't you check
your list for Jackson.
213
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,100
Andrew Jackson.
214
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:15,900
Nope.
215
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,500
Got Tito and LaToya.
216
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,200
Okay.
217
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000
What if I change
my name to...
218
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,400
Ulysses S. Grant?
219
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,700
You can change your name
to Condoleezza Rice.
220
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,200
If you're not on the li
and you're not a celebrity,
221
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,000
you're not getting in.
222
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:37,900
All right, look,
223
00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,600
I didn't want to have
to play this card,
224
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,900
but I'm Charlie Harper.
225
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:41,900
I'm in the music business.
226
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,900
I wrote
the Maple Loops jingle.
227
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,300
Granny's Big Fudge Nuggets?
228
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,100
Oh, I love those cookies.
229
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,900
Great.
You got any on you?
230
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,000
No.
Beat it.
231
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,200
Charlie, let me
handle this.
232
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,500
Sir...
233
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,100
I am Matthew Broderick.
234
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,300
Who?
235
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,900
Bruno, they're with me.
236
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:08,900
Are you sure?
237
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,900
This is a good chance
to cut 'em loose.
238
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,100
Guys, come on.
239
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,700
Matthew Broderick
is a gifted actor????????
240
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,400
Oh, for God's sake, will
yostop complaining?
241
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,600
Well, I'm sorry, but
the music in that club
was so loud,
242
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:33,700
my ears
are still ringing.
243
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:38,800
You know what
that sound is?
244
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,500
That is the sound of the little
hairs in my middle ear dying.
245
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,200
I am talking permanent
hearing loss, Charlie.
246
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,600
Those little hairs
don't grow back.
247
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,200
Oh, wait, let's
see something.
248
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,500
* Ah.... C-Sharp... *
249
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,800
* C-Sharp is the sound
of encroaching deafness. *
250
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,500
Listen to you;
you're like an old man.
251
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:09,800
I can't listen to me.
252
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,900
All I hear is... * Ah... *
253
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,600
Worst night of my life.
254
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,700
u're just ticked off
because you couldn't keep up.
255
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:20,500
I couldn't keep up?
256
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,300
I was out on the dance floor
with the girls
257
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,700
while you were sleeping
in the booth.
258
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,100
I wasn't sleeping.
259
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,600
I was closing my eyes,
260
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,800
because I couldn't bear
to watch you do this.
261
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:35,800
I was voguing.
262
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,400
You were napping.
263
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,400
Nobody vogues anymore, Alan.
264
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,400
And guess what?
265
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,500
Nobody does the robot
anymore, either.
266
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:49,100
Oh, yeah?
267
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,700
Then why did it catch on
with the other dancers?
268
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,900
It di't catch on.
They were openly mocking you.
269
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,200
What do you want from me?
270
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,000
I went out to the club,
I went to the after-hours club,
271
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,200
I went out to breakfast,
272
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,200
I held my date's hair
273
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,200
while she vomited pancakes
in the parking lot.
274
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,200
Well, if you weren't whining
about wanting to go home,
275
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,200
you'd be having sex
with her right now.
276
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,800
Oh, darn. What man doesn't dream
of kissing second-hand pancakes?
277
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,300
And I have to go to work.
278
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,100
You know what?
279
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,500
You are a fuddy-duddy.
280
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,200
I'm... I'm a fuddy-duddy?
281
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,900
Hey, if the orthopedic shoe
fits, wear it.
282
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,600
They are not orthopedic.
283
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,300
They merely have a reinforced
arch for the active lifestyle.
284
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,000
And you were napping.
285
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,400
Okay, maybe I needed
a little shut-eye.
286
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,100
But that's only because
I had vigorous sex earlier.
287
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,600
Oh, let's fa it.
288
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,500
We're both too old
for the MTV lifestyle.
289
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,000
MTV?
290
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,000
Did they just defrost you?
291
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:52,800
Okay... MTV, VH-1,
whatever the kids are watching.
292
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:53,700
My point is,
293
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,400
I am comfortable
acting my age,
294
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,800
while you are in deep denial.
295
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,700
Hey, hey, I am not in denial
about anything.
296
00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:03,600
I am a young, vibrant man
in the prime of my life.
297
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:04,600
I-- (coughs)
298
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,400
What?
299
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,800
Young people have phlegm, too.
300
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,000
Sure.
301
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:18,600
Anyway...
302
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:19,400
as I was...
303
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,500
Oh, God.
304
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,300
What's the matter
305
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,300
My chest.
306
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,100
Are you okay?
307
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,000
I don't know...
308
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:33,400
Hey, Alan...
309
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,400
Yeah?
310
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,900
Do you think it's too late
to start jogging?
311
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,200
ALAN:
Damn it, what kind
of hospital is this?!
312
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,700
Where the hell
are the doctors?
313
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,100
That's my brother
in there!
314
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:48,300
If he dies,
I'm homeless!
315
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:55,500
Uh, everything's fine.
316
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,100
They're just going
to run some tests.
317
00:14:59,100 --> 00:14:59,900
Not to worry.
318
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,200
Easy for you tsay.
319
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,400
Listen, Alan,
if I don't make it,
320
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,300
you need to know
about my will.
321
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,200
Hey, I don't want to hear
that kind of tal
You're going to make it.
322
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,500
But go on, finish
what you were saying.
323
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,400
First of all,
324
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,200
I left the house
to you and Jake.
325
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,000
Yes!
326
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:25,700
You're going to make it.
327
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,700
Just so you know,
there's two mortgages on it
328
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:34,500
and the property taxes
are $50,000 a year.
329
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,000
Really? $50,000?
330
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,900
Uh, excuse me.
331
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,600
Do you got to flat line
to get a little help
around here?!
332
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:54,300
Do you got to move
to Canada to get some
decent medical care?!
333
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:57,900
Uh, they'll be right here.
334
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,900
So, uh... 50 grand, hu
335
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,400
Boy, I don't know...
336
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,700
how I could afford that.
337
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,700
You know, unless I came
into some money, you know.
338
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,100
An inheritance or something.
339
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,400
There's no money, Alan.
340
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:14,000
None?
341
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,300
The whole thing's
a house of cards.
342
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,300
Huh.
343
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,200
Okay, I did not want
to have to do this.
344
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,800
But I am Matthew Broderick.
345
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,900
And that is my brother
lying there.
346
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,400
MAN:
I'm so sorry,
Mr. Broderick.
347
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,000
I loved you
in The oducers.
348
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:37,800
Thank you.
349
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,400
Okay, let's have
a look-see, huh?
350
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,800
According to your tests,
you just had an acute
attack of indigestion.
351
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:50,900
It was gas?
352
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,100
Yes, a big bubble,
about the size
of a pomegranate.
353
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,200
What have you had
to eat recently?
354
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,800
Nothing much.
355
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,800
He had Belgian waffles,
link sausages, two Red Bulls,
356
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:01,900
a quart of scotch
357
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:03,900
and the tongue of
a 24-year-old actress.
358
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,800
He asked what I ate, Alan.
359
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:07,700
And I told him, Charlie.
360
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,400
Oh-ho, you're
a dirty bird.
361
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,800
Well, the good news is that you
are a perfectly healthy
50-year-old man.
362
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:18,800
I'm only 40.
363
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,100
Tell that to
your liver.
364
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,700
I recommend you slow down a bit.
I've been saying the same thing.
365
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:26,600
And you...
366
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,600
Why no sequel to
Ferris Bueller, huh?
367
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,700
I wait and I wait.
368
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:34,300
I'm sorry;
I'll get on it.
369
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,100
Ah. Give the people
what they want.
370
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,200
So, gas.
371
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,000
Good news, huh?
372
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,700
A little embarrassing, but yeah.
373
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,600
What do you have
to be embarrassed about?
374
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,100
Oh, I don't know-- the
paramedics, thambulance,
375
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,700
the crying and the last-minute
negotiations with God.
376
00:17:58,900 --> 00:17:59,700
Oh, right.
377
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:02,200
Are you still planning
on teaching piano to orphans?
378
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,600
If any show up, sure.
379
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,200
Well, will you at least
accept the fact
380
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,600
that you have to slow down?
381
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:11,800
Yeah, yeah.
382
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:14,800
It's weird, Alan.
383
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:20,300
It seems like just yesterday I
could... I could party all night
384
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,600
and eat and drink
anything I wanted to.
385
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,100
Now a couple of Red Bulls
and a waffle,
386
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,700
and I'm sitting in the emergency
room praying for a fart.
387
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,700
Now you know why I ordered
tomato juice and cottage cheese.
388
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,200
I got to admit, yodo
take good care of yourself.
389
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,000
I try.
390
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,700
I guess that's why
I keep you around.
391
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,300
Because I'm a good example?
392
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,600
No, you clod,
spare parts.
393
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:53,000
What are we watching?
394
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,200
Antiques Roadshow.
395
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,400
This woman thinks she has
Martha Washington's
butter churn.
396
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:03,800
Toaster pizza?
397
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:05,300
Thank you.
398
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,500
So, you going
out tonight?
399
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,100
Eh, what's the point?
400
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,400
Look, Charlie, I'm glad
you're slowing down a bit,
401
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,500
but you haven't been out
of the house in a week.
402
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,600
Eh, it's too depressing.
403
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,400
Wherever I go,
I'm the oldest guy in the room.
404
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:22,700
Even here.
405
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,600
Hey, what would you think
about getting a cat?
406
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,100
Okay, that's it.
407
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:35,000
Put some clothes on.
We're going out.
408
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,800
It's 9:00.
409
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,300
I was going to make
some kettle corn.
410
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:40,600
Forget the corn;
you're coming with me.
411
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Where are we going?
412
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:42,800
You'll see.
413
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,900
Can you drive?
414
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,200
I don't like to drive
at night.
415
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,100
What the hell is
this place?
416
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:54,500
The fountain of youth.
417
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:55,500
What?
418
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:56,300
Follow me.
419
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,600
Ooh, look, young stuff.
420
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,300
??????????
421
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,700
May I ask you
a personal question?
422
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,300
Sure.
423
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,700
How old are you?
424
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,200
I just turned 40.
425
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,700
Oh, you're a baby.
426
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,400
well
Yeah.
427
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,200
Hey, I have a little
riddle for you.
428
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,300
All right.
429
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:36,100
What has multiple
orgasms and hums?
430
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,000
I give up.
431
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,400
Come on, I'll show you.
432
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,000
Alan...
433
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:53,700
Alan, I'm leaving.
434
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,600
And may God bless you.
435
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:12,000
welcome to www.1000fr.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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