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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,484 --> 00:00:01,850 Previously on "Web Therapy"... 2 00:00:01,885 --> 00:00:05,020 Yeah, I was the emcee at the Pinkeye Ball, 3 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:06,605 the Stylehaul event. 4 00:00:06,690 --> 00:00:09,608 Oh, yes, the Pinkeye... you were the emcee. 5 00:00:09,693 --> 00:00:10,809 That's right. 6 00:00:10,894 --> 00:00:12,978 I was wondering, at the Pinkeye Ball. 7 00:00:13,063 --> 00:00:14,813 - You were very good. - Thank you. 8 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,364 What did I win again? I'm sorry. 9 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,367 - So you won a makeover... - Oh. 10 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,036 - With me. - Oh. 11 00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:24,489 And it will possibly translate into a magazine makeover. 12 00:00:26,159 --> 00:00:28,543 You have that kind of clout, really? 13 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:33,381 But I suspect that you actually care deeply about Kip, 14 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:36,001 that you are in fact in love with Kip. 15 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,552 - I'm going to quit. - What? No. 16 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:38,637 No, I'm going to quit. 17 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,472 I am not going to bring any kind 18 00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:43,425 of badness or scandal to this office. 19 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:44,676 I can't do that to him. I-I can't do that to Kip. 20 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,509 Just... you don't have to. 21 00:00:47,036 --> 00:00:49,331 S04E09 Judicial Oversight 22 00:00:49,493 --> 00:00:52,161 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 23 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,276 - Fiona. - Hi, Kip. 24 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,628 I can't... I can't talk to you right now. 25 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,880 - I'm desperate. - Why? 26 00:01:21,932 --> 00:01:23,765 April has given me two weeks' notice. 27 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,100 My law clerk, she's leaving me. 28 00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:26,384 I'm... I'm looking through resumes. 29 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,186 I can't find anyone to replace her. 30 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,888 She is irreplaceable. I don't know what I'm gonna do. 31 00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:31,189 Yes, I know. 32 00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:32,390 Well, she's irre... how do you know? 33 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,225 Because I had spoken with her, okay? 34 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:36,311 - And here's the problem. - What did you say to her? 35 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,029 I didn't say anything, okay? 36 00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,148 She has convinced herself somehow 37 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,733 that she's in love with you. 38 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:43,735 - Oh, that's absurd. - Of course it's absurd. 39 00:01:43,787 --> 00:01:45,120 - She runs my life. - I know. 40 00:01:45,155 --> 00:01:46,821 April! April! 41 00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:48,039 Please, I need to talk to you. 42 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:50,158 Please, sit down. 43 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,793 I-I need to ask you something. 44 00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:53,662 It's... it's rather personal, and it's... 45 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,080 Wh... oh! 46 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,214 - Fiona's with us. - Oh, hi, Fiona. 47 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,049 Hi. Hi, April. Yeah. 48 00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,135 April, Fiona... 49 00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:02,921 is saying that you're leaving because you're in love with me. 50 00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:06,257 That's not true. 51 00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:07,842 It's okay. It's safe to tell him. 52 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,978 No. 53 00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:11,763 No, it is not true. 54 00:02:11,815 --> 00:02:13,732 - But it's... - See, I told you. 55 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,266 - No, it is not true. - Of course not. 56 00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:17,352 I mean, you... you... she... 57 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:18,937 you said you needed to move on. 58 00:02:18,989 --> 00:02:20,655 I'm not sure where you're moving. 59 00:02:20,691 --> 00:02:22,273 No, I'm moving on. I'm getting married to Phil. 60 00:02:22,326 --> 00:02:24,275 Well, I know. Congratulations. I'm very happy for you. 61 00:02:24,328 --> 00:02:26,411 But, you know, I-I... what am I supposed to do? 62 00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:28,663 I'm sorry. I'm so s... I'm so sorry. 63 00:02:28,699 --> 00:02:30,281 - Oh, see? - What, see? 64 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:33,918 Well, no, because you went to hold him, to comfort... 65 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,037 your instinct to comfort him is extraordinary. 66 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,455 Kip, I don't know why... you see it now? 67 00:02:37,507 --> 00:02:39,290 She is under... she's in my employ. 68 00:02:39,343 --> 00:02:41,292 - She takes care of me. - That's right, that's right. 69 00:02:41,345 --> 00:02:43,128 I'm in his em... well, I used to be your em... 70 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,846 I'm... I'm sorry, Kip. 71 00:02:44,881 --> 00:02:46,464 Well, you're still with me. You have another two weeks. 72 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:47,716 I... I'm desperate. I can't have you leave. 73 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,184 I'm s... I know. I don't... 74 00:02:49,219 --> 00:02:50,101 I mean, it's just, what am I gonna do? 75 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,469 I mean, what about 76 00:02:51,521 --> 00:02:52,937 the gluten-free cookies and all of that? 77 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,389 No, that... it c... April, it's okay. 78 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,141 You can admit it, okay? 79 00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:58,360 She's probably afraid that if she tells you 80 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,362 that she loves you, you'll, you know, 81 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:02,230 have certain response to... 82 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,149 he's not gonna respond to that at all, though. 83 00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:05,450 I can tell you. 84 00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,318 April, please tell me the truth. 85 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,820 Sorry, my hands are so dry. 86 00:03:08,872 --> 00:03:10,321 No, my goodness. I can't believe it. 87 00:03:10,374 --> 00:03:12,791 It's a good thing I have my lotion with me. 88 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,125 - Oh. - You know, I don't... 89 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,660 I don't like it when your hands get dry. 90 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:17,295 You... you need to... you need to start 91 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:18,880 using that humidifier more. 92 00:03:18,915 --> 00:03:20,165 Don't turn it off anymore. 93 00:03:20,217 --> 00:03:21,750 See, what am I gonna do without you? 94 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,002 I-I... my hands'll just... 95 00:03:24,054 --> 00:03:25,503 just drop off. 96 00:03:25,555 --> 00:03:27,005 - I know. Oh, baby. - Oh, thank you. 97 00:03:27,057 --> 00:03:28,089 Oh, it feels good. 98 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,340 Thank you very much. 99 00:03:29,393 --> 00:03:30,675 I-I... see, I love your hands. 100 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,427 I love your long, beautiful fingers. 101 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:35,430 - You're like a piano player. - I am like a piano player. 102 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,015 - You are like a piano player. - Except that he's not. 103 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,733 - You notice that? - I do notice that. You play me. 104 00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:40,902 You play me. You play my heart. You play my soul. 105 00:03:40,937 --> 00:03:42,487 - You know, that's... - I can't help it. 106 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,355 It's all your fault that I'm in love with... 107 00:03:44,408 --> 00:03:46,191 I mean, look at your eyes. Okay, you know what? 108 00:03:46,243 --> 00:03:48,827 I'm sorry, but right now, I'm watching a love scene. 109 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,495 She has beautiful eyes. Don't you think so, Fiona? 110 00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,864 Did you just say that I have beautiful eyes? 111 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,115 - You have extraordinary eyes. - You've noticed my eyes? 112 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:58,336 No, okay, listen. You are... he's gay, okay? 113 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,171 Well, what has that got to do with anything? 114 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,423 - Right. - Gay? 115 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:02,874 Well, because he can't possibly 116 00:04:02,926 --> 00:04:04,375 have feelings for you because he's gay. 117 00:04:04,428 --> 00:04:06,211 Why? 118 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,712 Why can't he have feelings for me if he happens to be gay? 119 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,297 Just because you have homosex... 120 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:10,965 'Cause you don't have a penis, that's why. 121 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,550 That has nothing to do with it. 122 00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:14,018 - There's nothing for him to do. - First of all, 123 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,412 - I think penises are overrated. - So do I. 124 00:04:15,432 --> 00:04:16,901 Just because you're gay or you have gay tendencies 125 00:04:16,921 --> 00:04:18,279 - doesn't mean you're gay. - Right. 126 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,644 Well, then what does mean you're gay? 127 00:04:19,664 --> 00:04:22,777 Well, first of all, if you do... if you perform acts, 128 00:04:22,813 --> 00:04:25,196 real acts with... with penises, 129 00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,898 which I don't do. 130 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,900 - Anymore. - What? 131 00:04:28,952 --> 00:04:30,902 You know what? That's... it's in the past, Fiona. 132 00:04:30,954 --> 00:04:32,203 All that's in the past. You know, you're- 133 00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,455 - That feels so good. - I know. 134 00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:34,823 She's a little bit perverted. 135 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:35,874 I think you're a little perverted. 136 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,292 - I'm perverted? - I do. 137 00:04:37,327 --> 00:04:39,294 I think that you're trying to stir the pot, 138 00:04:39,329 --> 00:04:41,379 stir things up and make everything more complicated 139 00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:43,047 than it needs to be, Fiona. 140 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,415 Your doorbell's ringing. 141 00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:46,000 Oh, what, we... what time is it? What time is it? 142 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,919 - I know, but... - You know, you better get that. 143 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,504 You should get the door. You... okay. 144 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,172 You get the door because it's a... it's a gift. 145 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,725 It's a gift from "Kip," and it's... 146 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,977 it's for your four-year anniversary of the day 147 00:04:56,012 --> 00:04:59,397 that you started web therapy, and it's a box from Tiffany. 148 00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:00,815 - See? - Oh, it's from Tiff... 149 00:05:00,851 --> 00:05:02,433 I should get s... if it's from Tiffany. 150 00:05:02,486 --> 00:05:04,402 - How thoughtful am I? - Yeah. 151 00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:07,355 When did this all begin? 152 00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,357 I think it started the night that we were 153 00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:11,276 working late on the Hotchkiss case. 154 00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:13,027 Case, the Hotchkiss case 155 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,946 and the Sangria and then the... 156 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,948 - the twister. - And twister. 157 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,950 And then that... then that thing happened, that... 158 00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:20,418 That other thing that was really... 159 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:21,920 - That thing happened. - The hotch... 160 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,506 - Spontaneous and... - Kiss case. 161 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:29,093 Yes, it is from Tiffany. 162 00:05:30,046 --> 00:05:33,015 No, no. No, you're fired. 163 00:05:34,017 --> 00:05:35,266 Okay. 164 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,135 I'm fired. 165 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,137 I'm fired. 166 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,643 Oh, hello, Nina. 167 00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:47,245 - Fiona. - Yes? 168 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,780 - I want those jewels back. - The jewels... 169 00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,198 Where's the Harry Winston jewelry? 170 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,066 The ones that were gifted to me 171 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,452 in appreciation of me wearing them to the event? 172 00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:56,154 You signed a paper 173 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,656 that said you needed to return these jewels. 174 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,208 All right, I thought I was just signing 175 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,993 saying thank you, I accept. 176 00:06:02,078 --> 00:06:02,994 - I didn't know. - How... 177 00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:04,329 I will get them back. 178 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:05,880 All right, don't make a big deal. 179 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,498 They're safe somewhere. 180 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,133 They're here somewhere. 181 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:12,253 How did you manage to ruin every relationship 182 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,638 I have in this business? 183 00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:15,506 Oh, I... that's so theatrical. 184 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:18,142 Fiona, you came up to the magazine. 185 00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,844 - Mm-hmm. - You chased the editor... 186 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,679 - Mm-hmm. - pitching her stories. 187 00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:23,932 You want to be on the cover of the magazine? 188 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:27,402 Well, just for... to introduce my column. 189 00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:28,486 - Fiona? - Yeah? 190 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,021 You're not a celebrity. 191 00:06:30,106 --> 00:06:32,907 You cannot pitch a column, a "Dear Fiona" column. 192 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:35,026 I'm not a celebrity until I have the column, 193 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:36,694 - and then I will be, so... - There's gonna be 194 00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,746 no psychology column in the magazine. 195 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,331 Well, I think that's a mistake, 196 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:43,418 because obviously people who are in the fashion industry 197 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,286 suffer a great deal of insecurities 198 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,205 that I'd be happy to address. 199 00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:50,425 What's insecure is a person that chases down Michael Kors. 200 00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:52,594 I thought that I would help him out 201 00:06:52,712 --> 00:06:54,712 as businessperson to businessperson. 202 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,931 His Philadelphia stores are way too cold. 203 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,601 He needs to really bring down the air-conditioning. 204 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:00,969 Well, he was very offended, 205 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,770 - just so you know. - Oh, okay. 206 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,974 And he came to the magazine as a personal favor to me. 207 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,275 Could I tell you something? 208 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,110 You want to talk about being offended? 209 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,779 How about, I don't know what I said, 210 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:15,233 but I see the two of you snickering at me from the corner 211 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,985 over I don't know what. 212 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,703 - What? You don't know what? - No. 213 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:22,457 You said you were the Philadelphia Heidi Klum. 214 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:24,792 How could we not snicker about that? 215 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:27,161 Well, I don't know what's so hilarious about that. 216 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,163 It's mildly funny, I guess. 217 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,499 I'm tall and blonde, okay. 218 00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:32,967 You're not a supermodel. 219 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,302 Of course I'm not. 220 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,803 I'm an intellectual. 221 00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:36,971 I'm... I'm... 222 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,389 I'm a human being. 223 00:07:38,475 --> 00:07:40,091 You were mean to the assistants. 224 00:07:41,311 --> 00:07:43,594 You asked a designer to go get you coffee. 225 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,896 You... - You know what? 226 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,431 I'm sorry if I insulted designers. 227 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,650 I didn't know the designers were in the room 228 00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,184 when I had to remark 229 00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,986 on the inappropriateness of their clothes. 230 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,022 They looked like hooker outfits. 231 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,240 No, they were not hooker outfits. 232 00:07:56,276 --> 00:08:00,111 It's just that you are not a size two as you claim to be. 233 00:08:00,196 --> 00:08:02,613 You are more like a size six. I'm sorry. 234 00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:04,666 I thought it was size one, two, or three. 235 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,918 I'm not saying I'm a one. I'm in the middle. 236 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,953 Samples do not come in a size six. 237 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:10,588 Okay. I made a mistake. 238 00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:12,373 You're a pathological liar. 239 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,625 No, but I will grant you this, 240 00:08:14,678 --> 00:08:16,544 it was a difficult day for me, 241 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:20,131 so if I was showing the strain of that, 242 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,300 then I apologize for that. 243 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,135 And normally I can handle it, 244 00:08:24,187 --> 00:08:27,438 but it's very hard for a woman to be confronted with clothing 245 00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,640 that's way too small. It makes her feel like 246 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:31,142 she's large, which I'm not. 247 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,027 I mean, I'm rather petite. 248 00:08:33,063 --> 00:08:35,613 Okay, maybe I don't know what petite means. 249 00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:37,949 - Maybe. - But let's forget everything. 250 00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:40,818 - Okay. - Just, could you please stop 251 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:44,489 telling the world that I am your personal shopper? 252 00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,491 I am not a personal shopper. 253 00:08:46,543 --> 00:08:48,242 I don't shop for you. 254 00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:49,794 I don't shop for anybody. 255 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:52,663 I am a fashion editor for a magazine. 256 00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,082 All right. 257 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,467 I don't do any "personal" shopping. 258 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,052 That's fine. I... 259 00:08:58,088 --> 00:09:01,506 I was just trying to help get your name out there. 260 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:03,674 But if you'd rather I don't, then I will stop. 261 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:05,343 My name is out there. 262 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,645 - Okay, yes, of course. - You know what, Fiona? 263 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,481 This whole thing was a mistake. 264 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,351 - I was doing it for charity... - Yes. 265 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:16,187 For the unfortunate. 266 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,740 People who don't know how to keep their eyeballs clean. 267 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:23,027 Whether you have pinkeye or no eye, I am done. 268 00:09:23,079 --> 00:09:25,079 It's about time that you realized. 269 00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:27,582 You know, I often share the exact same sentiment. 270 00:09:27,617 --> 00:09:28,750 Why help anybody? 271 00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:30,618 No good deed goes unpunished. 272 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:33,037 We have so much in common, you and I. 273 00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:34,789 I really feel like we could be friends. 274 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,257 Do you want to maybe get lunch? 275 00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:39,677 Wait, Fiona. That necklace, is that ours? 276 00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:41,262 - This one? - That's ours. 277 00:09:41,297 --> 00:09:43,047 - You've got to give that back. - Oh, no-all right. 278 00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:45,383 So we won't have lunch. 279 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,390 Hello. 280 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,392 - Oh, wow. - Hi. You're... oh. 281 00:09:54,444 --> 00:09:56,227 Hey. 282 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,728 What's that? What's happening? 283 00:09:57,781 --> 00:10:00,231 Oh, I just... quick selfie. 284 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,732 - With me? - Yeah. 285 00:10:01,785 --> 00:10:03,284 - Oh. - I just... I'm sorry. 286 00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:04,652 Was that... did that make you uncomfortable? 287 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,154 - No, not at all. - Oh, good, good, good. 288 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,239 That's... I don't know why, anyway. 289 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,574 Oh, my gosh. That's... 290 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,326 you're wearing my favorite necklace. 291 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,496 - That's... yeah. - Okay. 292 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,165 How are you, Fiona? 293 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,666 I'm very well, Abel. 294 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,251 So nice to talk to you. 295 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,386 And what is it that I could help you with? 296 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:25,723 Well, um, it's primarily a workplace issue, 297 00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:29,477 but I do think it stems from something on a personal level. 298 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,012 It's kind of embarrassing to say, 299 00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,597 but I seem to have an effect 300 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:36,400 on some of my coworkers that is distracting to them. 301 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,603 Oh, so are you sort of A.D.D.? 302 00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:40,321 Are you, um... do you need some medication? 303 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:43,241 - No, I... - 'cause I don't prescribe. 304 00:10:43,326 --> 00:10:46,027 At all? Okay, um, this is more... 305 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,995 - I work with a lot of females. - Uhhuh. 306 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:50,164 And, um, they seem to be distract... 307 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,582 I have, um, I guess, 308 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:55,086 like, excessive charm or... or charisma 309 00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:57,004 or something that's, um... 310 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,706 You do? 311 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,508 Yeah, um, I mean, I'm... 312 00:11:00,543 --> 00:11:02,927 you probably aren't seeing it so much now, 313 00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:05,346 but when I'm at work, maybe I'm... I'm, you know, 314 00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:06,848 really excited to be there, and... 315 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,216 Oh, where do you work? 316 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,767 Um, for the government. 317 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,352 - It's just a... - Oh. 318 00:11:11,387 --> 00:11:12,937 Government position that would bore you. 319 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,306 Okay, so the... the juxtaposition 320 00:11:15,358 --> 00:11:19,143 of your lively personality with the extremely dull workplace 321 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,145 makes you attractive to all of these... 322 00:11:21,197 --> 00:11:23,564 I don't thk that I'm Fabio or anything, but... 323 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,733 No, you're not. 324 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:27,318 Dude, are you watching? 325 00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:28,819 Are you watching the show? 326 00:11:28,872 --> 00:11:30,621 - Oh, what's happening? - Nothing. 327 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,790 - What's she doing? - I'm in one. 328 00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:34,792 I'm not... I'm not listening. 329 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,160 - What? - Nothing. 330 00:11:36,212 --> 00:11:38,579 I've... I live with somebody, and they rudely interrupted. 331 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:39,797 Hey, take a screen grab. 332 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:42,300 They want you to listen to something? 333 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,303 I think they heard your voice, and then they thought 334 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:46,921 maybe I was entertaining, I guess. 335 00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,839 Oh, really? Okay. 336 00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:50,258 I don't know. That's st... 337 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,759 No, it's not a sex site. 338 00:11:53,429 --> 00:11:54,812 Yet. 339 00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:56,347 - What? - See, I don't know. 340 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,848 Did you say "yes" or "yet"? 341 00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,817 "Yet," I said "yet." You know. 342 00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,686 Well, it's not going to be. 343 00:12:01,738 --> 00:12:03,521 I mean, I know your generation 344 00:12:03,573 --> 00:12:05,356 likes, you know, to go to the Internet. 345 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,691 Not to say that some of your sessions 346 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:07,992 probably haven't... 347 00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:09,527 - They have not. - gone in that direction. 348 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:10,695 Well, they have... absolutely haven't. 349 00:12:10,747 --> 00:12:12,530 Really? Okay. 350 00:12:12,582 --> 00:12:15,199 Well, they... I know my sessions, 351 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:16,701 and I know that they haven't. 352 00:12:16,753 --> 00:12:19,921 But we both know that things have gotten blurry, 353 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,956 to say the least, which is, again, 354 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:25,009 who could blame anyone involved with how you look and... 355 00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:26,627 I don't understand these assumptions 356 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:30,932 you're making about what I do with other patients. 357 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,516 Well... 358 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,051 It's sort of none of your business. 359 00:12:34,103 --> 00:12:35,886 You should really just be concerned with yourself. 360 00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:38,973 I think that's where this elevated esteem that you have, 361 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:43,811 maybe there's an omniscience sort of intruding onto it 362 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,230 that you seem to feel that you have, 363 00:12:46,282 --> 00:12:47,698 and you simply don't. 364 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,900 I guess it was my hope that I would be honest with you 365 00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,370 and then maybe you would be honest in return 366 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,572 because of what I understand 367 00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,741 to be a doctor-patient relationship. 368 00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:58,459 - It's a safe zone. - I mean, we both know 369 00:12:58,494 --> 00:13:00,745 that you've had some very questionable interactions 370 00:13:00,797 --> 00:13:02,413 with patients. 371 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,248 Why would you... what do you mean, we both know? 372 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:05,499 I don't understand that. 373 00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,335 What does that mean? What are you... 374 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,919 - What's going on, all right? - I'm just going on... 375 00:13:08,972 --> 00:13:10,588 - I'm not buying this. - Okay. 376 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,673 Am I being pranked or something? 377 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,759 This is not a prank, but I just... let's just say 378 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,844 that I'm privy to some of your sessions, 379 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,763 - or I have at least... I... - How? 380 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,765 - I've cons... - How are you privy 381 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,850 to some of my sessions, hacker? 382 00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:26,437 - Are you a hacker? - N-no. 383 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,939 There's a big distinction between what I do and hacking. 384 00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:32,443 I work for the... the National Security Agency, so... 385 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:35,112 The NSA? So why would the NSA... 386 00:13:35,164 --> 00:13:37,782 and we monitor a lot of web activity, 387 00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,917 - a lot of Internet traffic. - Uhhuh. 388 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:41,919 And we were turned on to your show... 389 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:44,455 This isn't a show. This is my life. 390 00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:46,507 Because of an ex-employee of yours that was under suspicion 391 00:13:46,542 --> 00:13:48,376 of terrorism, Kamal... it doesn't matter. 392 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,961 - The point is... - What? Kamal is a terrorist? 393 00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,630 I shouldn't have said that. That's an ongoing investigation. 394 00:13:52,682 --> 00:13:54,048 - It's no one's business. - Is he a terrorist? 395 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,267 That I actually go to Guantanamo for. 396 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:59,020 The point is, is we did discover your show, 397 00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,555 and we have all become humungous fans of it. 398 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:02,807 What? 399 00:14:02,859 --> 00:14:04,358 Well, as you know about the NSA, 400 00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:07,028 we regularly monitor internet traffic. 401 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,530 - Yes, terrorists. - Primarily terrorists, 402 00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:11,449 but they're... long story short, 403 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,819 they're not as exciting as you might expect them to be. 404 00:14:14,871 --> 00:14:16,287 There's far less bomb building 405 00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:18,823 and a lot more napping and prayer and... 406 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,625 with the blankets and the things they sit on. 407 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:22,910 I'm sorry you're bored 408 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:26,297 trying to keep the country safe from terrorists 409 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:30,501 and so you then intrude and invade the privacy 410 00:14:30,553 --> 00:14:35,506 of decent, decent, hardworking citizens like myself. 411 00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:37,091 What I'm saying is, we have the option 412 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,176 to watch nearly anything on the internet, 413 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,811 which is quite a bit, and we've... 414 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,514 we've all really come to love your program, 415 00:14:43,566 --> 00:14:45,683 and I thought that... that you would be flattered by that. 416 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,735 - And maybe it's... - You mean my modality? 417 00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:49,236 a fan's delusion that I thought 418 00:14:49,272 --> 00:14:52,239 I could join in on my favorite show and just... 419 00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:54,775 I guess, program, you mean the... the system 420 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,610 in which I conduct my therapy, 421 00:14:56,662 --> 00:14:57,862 'cause it is... 422 00:14:57,914 --> 00:14:59,997 it is innovative, so... 423 00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,532 It's highly entertaining, 424 00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:03,000 and it's, um... 425 00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,702 it's a sexy... 426 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:07,121 Well, some of the employees have gotten in trouble 427 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:11,876 watching your show in the restroom. 428 00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:13,794 - Oh, yeah. - Just can't-but by getting, 429 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:17,548 you know, help from someone who is easily profiled, 430 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,685 I opened myself up to this... 431 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,053 this... this... 432 00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:25,890 this transgression of my constitutional rights. 433 00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:27,608 You know what? This is wrong, okay? 434 00:15:27,643 --> 00:15:30,895 It's wrong, and I'm going to take legal action. 435 00:15:30,947 --> 00:15:34,482 - I would advise against that. - Yes. 436 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,400 As you build a case with a legal representative, 437 00:15:36,452 --> 00:15:38,285 we'll be hearing all the points you're making. 438 00:15:38,321 --> 00:15:39,904 And then we'll be two steps ahead of you. 439 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,705 It's just... people don't win against... 440 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,491 - The NSA? - Yes. 441 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,576 No, that's a... that's true. That's... 442 00:15:45,628 --> 00:15:47,578 it's... we're really pretty much at the top... 443 00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:49,547 Then I'm just going to ask you to please just... 444 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:53,083 you know, if you have any kind of moral compass at all, 445 00:15:53,136 --> 00:15:55,753 then you will switch me off, all right? 446 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,087 Because I'm not a... 447 00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:58,839 I'm not a threat to the country, all right? 448 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,675 But you need to be paying attention, all right? 449 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,677 Why don't you just go back and do your job, 450 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:07,064 which is to keep americans safe 451 00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:10,184 from those who do harm to americans. 452 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:11,569 Good-bye. 453 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:19,777 Fiona, I-I did not want it to end that way, um... 454 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,111 Why... why do I hear you? 455 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:23,030 I clicked you off. I clicked you off. 456 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,082 I'm still watching you, 457 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:29,420 and I can still communicate with you through your speakers. 458 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,705 Then I'll just... I will unplug you. 459 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,925 It's not the only camera in your house, Fiona. 460 00:16:35,011 --> 00:16:37,461 I have a camera on your phone in your pocket. 461 00:16:37,547 --> 00:16:38,462 What? 462 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,637 Oh, Caspar. 463 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:50,524 Listen, if this is again about that makeover with Nina Garcia, 464 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,776 I'm not a thief, all right? 465 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,362 Those jewels were loaned to me, 466 00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:58,449 and I made every effort to get them back, all right? 467 00:16:58,534 --> 00:17:00,117 That's not... 468 00:17:00,203 --> 00:17:01,702 - No. - Why are you laughing? 469 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:04,205 'Cause I'm not... not phoning about that. 470 00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:06,740 Oh. Oh, then I'm happy to see you. 471 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,325 Okay. I just... 472 00:17:08,377 --> 00:17:10,294 I'm just calling to find out whether or not 473 00:17:10,379 --> 00:17:12,830 you've had time to check out my channel. 474 00:17:12,882 --> 00:17:14,164 Oh, I did. 475 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:15,666 - Awesome. - I did. I did. 476 00:17:15,718 --> 00:17:17,918 I clicked on the link from the email you sent. 477 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,503 Yes, yes, you have a channel. 478 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:20,888 - Good for you. - Thank you. 479 00:17:20,923 --> 00:17:23,307 Yeah, it's not my cup of tea, you know? 480 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:26,310 I assume you wanted me to try to assess you from that, 481 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:29,980 and I guess I could say you have what they call it, ADHD, 482 00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:31,899 but I don't... I'm... 483 00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:33,984 I don't treat that, so... 484 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,936 I-I mean, 485 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:38,188 if you don't treat that, how do you know I have it or... 486 00:17:38,241 --> 00:17:39,907 Well, I know what it is, 487 00:17:39,942 --> 00:17:41,775 - what they claim it to be. - Oh. Oh, okay. 488 00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:45,162 But I don't... not sure I believe it's an actual thing. 489 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,747 - So... - But I also don't... 490 00:17:46,782 --> 00:17:48,249 I don't treat that, so I... 491 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,867 I'm afraid I can't help you. 492 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,669 - Yeah. - No, I mean, I spent time. 493 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,754 I did. I spent about, you know, 494 00:17:53,789 --> 00:17:56,874 - 25 minutes watching things. - Wow. 495 00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:58,375 - Yeah, so... - That's cool. Thank you. 496 00:17:58,427 --> 00:17:59,793 - Oh, you're welcome. - I appreciate that. 497 00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,095 No, I put the time into it, you know. 498 00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:02,796 Yeah. Any... any laughs? 499 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,633 I can imagine that you don't laugh very often, so... 500 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:06,767 I laugh all the time. 501 00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:08,602 I have a wonderful sense of humor. 502 00:18:08,638 --> 00:18:11,555 But not at people in psychological distress 503 00:18:11,607 --> 00:18:14,224 or that kind of psychological distress. 504 00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:17,478 I mean, I just... obviously I'm playing a bit of a character. 505 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,480 I don't always act the way I do on camera. 506 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,781 - Really? - I mean, it's... it is me, but... 507 00:18:20,816 --> 00:18:23,867 With your name and your likeness? 508 00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,736 It's a character? Okay. 509 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,371 Yeah, of... of course, but it's more like I'm, you know, 510 00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:30,374 heightening my... myself so that people 511 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,242 - can find it entertaining. - Is it worth it? 512 00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:33,744 'Cause, I mean... it's working okay. 513 00:18:33,796 --> 00:18:35,579 I've got a-a couple of people who watch, 514 00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,581 - and that's why I was... - Yes, a couple, so... 515 00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,717 Yeah, no, well, I'm... 516 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,001 I'm underplaying it. 517 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,886 There are a few more than a couple, and... 518 00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:45,839 No, but good for you. Bravo. 519 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,258 So you'll... you'll be on my channel, then? 520 00:18:48,311 --> 00:18:49,843 Oh, will I be on your channel? 521 00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:52,930 I don't think that would help me. 522 00:18:52,982 --> 00:18:54,598 It's not gonna take any effort from you. 523 00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:58,102 I've already been recording our conversations 524 00:18:58,104 --> 00:18:59,937 because they're hilarious, by the way. 525 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,271 Thank you. 526 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,107 I mean, you're naturally funny, 527 00:19:03,159 --> 00:19:05,192 but you don't really understand when... you're not... 528 00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,995 you don't get it, but you're, like... 529 00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:09,163 - No, I understand. - You're a character. 530 00:19:09,198 --> 00:19:10,364 I'm not a character. 531 00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:11,915 I'm a human being, 532 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:14,335 and human beings don't behave that way. 533 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:17,621 You don't just tape a conversation with someone 534 00:19:17,673 --> 00:19:21,091 that they're not aware that it's being recorded. 535 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:23,544 And then, what? You want to post it? 536 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,046 I'm glad you're asking my permission first. 537 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,132 The answer is no. 538 00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:31,352 Well, I don't really care, actually, what you have to say. 539 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,020 I'm gonna put it up anyway. 540 00:19:33,055 --> 00:19:34,688 You can't... can you do that? 541 00:19:34,724 --> 00:19:35,973 - You can't, can you? - I can do whatever I want. 542 00:19:36,025 --> 00:19:37,224 You can? Without my per... 543 00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:39,143 and I can sue, can I not? 544 00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:40,894 - Well, you can try to find me. - Really? 545 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:42,613 You don't even know where I am right now. 546 00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,698 Well, there... there's an IP address. 547 00:19:44,734 --> 00:19:45,983 I mean, there are ways of finding... 548 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,651 Like you know what an IP address is. 549 00:19:47,703 --> 00:19:50,320 Well, I'm not... I'm not from another planet. 550 00:19:50,373 --> 00:19:52,289 Okay, what is my IP address? 551 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:53,657 Well, I don't know what it is, 552 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,826 but I can hire an expert who could find out, 553 00:19:55,878 --> 00:19:59,797 some forensic technologist who will find out what it is. 554 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,498 'Kay, well. 555 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,967 Well, I'm kind of surprised you don't want to be on it, 556 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,220 because I can tell you're looking for promotion 557 00:20:06,255 --> 00:20:07,838 for your little therapy sessions. 558 00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,673 It's going very well, thank you. 559 00:20:09,725 --> 00:20:10,891 It's going well enough, 560 00:20:10,926 --> 00:20:12,259 thank you, without your... 561 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,762 the 20 people that you have watching you. 562 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,064 - I'm doing fine. - Well, we actually... 563 00:20:17,099 --> 00:20:19,066 I actually have more than 20 people. 564 00:20:19,101 --> 00:20:21,018 Oh, do you? 565 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,821 I have a hundred and, well, 566 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,907 I've had 123 million views, so... 567 00:20:26,942 --> 00:20:29,076 - That's a lot. But it... - I mean, it's... 568 00:20:29,111 --> 00:20:31,945 what is it, like, one person watching 100 times? 569 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,114 'Cause it could be. But it's still a lot. 570 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,199 Well, yeah, I mean, it could be 571 00:20:35,251 --> 00:20:36,950 one person watching 100 times, 572 00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,953 but then that's still, like, a few million people watching. 573 00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,371 Right, and then all the... 574 00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:43,207 so you've got a lot of subscribers. 575 00:20:43,259 --> 00:20:46,260 - Thank you. - Is that two... that's a two? 576 00:20:46,295 --> 00:20:47,511 - Two, yes. - Point... 577 00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:49,847 2... 2.5. 578 00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,433 5 million. That's a lot. 579 00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:55,052 Oh, so you wanted to post our conversation? 580 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:58,972 Maybe we should do a session, and you could post that, 581 00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:01,141 and I'd be happy to... 582 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,227 to provide you with that. 583 00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:05,112 That's... I'd be honored to help you. 584 00:21:05,147 --> 00:21:06,780 Don't worry, what you're doing... 585 00:21:06,816 --> 00:21:08,532 what you've already done is gr... perfect. 586 00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,784 What are you worried about? Are you recording this too? 587 00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:11,902 - I am. - Oh. 588 00:21:11,954 --> 00:21:13,203 How do you feel right now, 589 00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,405 being in front of millions of people? 590 00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,207 Well, you know, I'm... 591 00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:20,160 I'm so happy to be of service, is all, you know? 592 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,045 And so I... you know, I'm... 593 00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:23,664 I'm eager for all of you 594 00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:27,217 to find out more about me as a therapist 595 00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:29,169 and come get help. 596 00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:31,138 - That's great, so can I... - I'll answer any question. 597 00:21:31,173 --> 00:21:32,473 Perfect. 598 00:21:32,508 --> 00:21:34,475 Uh, can I just ask right away? 599 00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,226 - Anything. - Perfect, okay. 600 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:37,811 Uh, how old are you? 601 00:21:37,847 --> 00:21:40,264 Oh, well, I'm... 602 00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:46,270 Oh, shit, she froze. 603 00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:49,156 Fuck. 604 00:21:49,191 --> 00:21:51,191 Whew, thank God for that. 605 00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,419 - Hi. - Oh. Hello, April. 606 00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,004 Hi, Fiona, hi. 607 00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:05,455 I was looking for Kip. 608 00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,875 Oh, Kip, Kip. Kip isn't here. 609 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,676 Kip is doing a little shopping. 610 00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,261 I needed a cocktail dress for tonight, 611 00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:13,130 last-minute dinner party. 612 00:22:13,215 --> 00:22:15,299 They drive me a little crazy, but I'm okay with it. 613 00:22:15,384 --> 00:22:16,850 I'm s... I'm so confused. 614 00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:18,886 I thought you were fired. 615 00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,387 I'm not fired anymore. 616 00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:21,889 - Oh. - No. 617 00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:23,190 So you're still there. 618 00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,025 I am, and I have to say 619 00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:28,145 that you're the person I need to thank. 620 00:22:28,230 --> 00:22:30,898 Wait a minute. So... but you're still with him? 621 00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,616 You mean with him, with him, with him? 622 00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:34,117 - Yes. - Yes, I am. 623 00:22:34,203 --> 00:22:37,204 I am. We're very happy. It's really working out well. 624 00:22:37,323 --> 00:22:42,492 I... and I... I've really been meaning to say thank you to you. 625 00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:43,877 - Well, you're wel... - because you're my hero. 626 00:22:43,963 --> 00:22:44,962 I'm not gonna say you're welcome. 627 00:22:45,047 --> 00:22:46,246 You inspired me. 628 00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:47,881 You inspired me to go for what I want, 629 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:49,833 and I did go for it, and then I got what I wanted, 630 00:22:49,919 --> 00:22:52,636 and... and I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm... 631 00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:54,421 I'm... I'm a winner. 632 00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:56,840 Yes, you won a gay man prize. 633 00:22:58,394 --> 00:22:59,643 Oh, no, no. 634 00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:02,062 He is very attracted to women, 635 00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:03,764 and he's very attracted to me. 636 00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:07,100 It's just that he wasn't very attracted to... 637 00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:08,735 ee-dee-dee-ee. 638 00:23:08,854 --> 00:23:10,187 Oh, you almost said it. Oops. 639 00:23:10,239 --> 00:23:11,738 I... I didn't mean it. It... 640 00:23:11,857 --> 00:23:14,358 Such a sweet girl saying such unkind things. 641 00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:16,076 I-I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. 642 00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:18,278 I hate to be unkind. It wasn't the way I meant it. 643 00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:19,696 It's just that something... 644 00:23:19,782 --> 00:23:22,699 Okay, well, the Kip that I know is gay. Let's just leave it at that. 645 00:23:22,719 --> 00:23:25,029 Okay, okay, we can leave it at that if that's what you want to think. 646 00:23:25,049 --> 00:23:26,670 I'm trying to help you, all right? 647 00:23:26,755 --> 00:23:28,455 Your situation is precarious. 648 00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:30,624 'Cause I'll tell you another thing who's... 649 00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:34,294 my mother is not going to approve of this situation. 650 00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:37,681 - Oh, you... you mean Putsy? - Yes. 651 00:23:37,766 --> 00:23:39,883 - I love Putsy. Putsy is... - You've met her? 652 00:23:39,969 --> 00:23:41,802 Oh, yeah, she's been to the new apartment 653 00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:43,303 a couple of times; She said... 654 00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:45,188 What new apartment? Whose new apartment? 655 00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:46,640 Well, it's... it's not really a big deal. 656 00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:48,308 We just upgraded the apartments. 657 00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:49,893 You know, we're doing a lot of business. 658 00:23:49,979 --> 00:23:51,528 We're having a lot of people there, 659 00:23:51,614 --> 00:23:53,113 and... and we just thought it would be nice, you know. 660 00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:54,615 It's 3,000 square feet. 661 00:23:54,733 --> 00:23:56,199 It has a wine cellar. 662 00:23:56,235 --> 00:23:58,535 It's a beautiful wine cellar, fully stocked, 663 00:23:58,621 --> 00:24:01,071 and the jacuzzi is... is amazing. 664 00:24:01,156 --> 00:24:04,791 I-I think it really helps Kippy think better. 665 00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:06,376 It makes him a better judge. 666 00:24:06,412 --> 00:24:07,961 110 degrees we keep it. 667 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,329 - It's very, very nice. - Mm. 668 00:24:09,415 --> 00:24:10,998 Putsy liked it too. 669 00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:13,133 The three of you took a jacuzzi together? 670 00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:16,303 Well, it... Putsy wore her bathing suit. 671 00:24:16,422 --> 00:24:18,588 You know, we're getting along so well. 672 00:24:18,674 --> 00:24:23,060 She actually... and I always well up when this part comes. 673 00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:26,513 She told me that I am like the daughter she never had. 674 00:24:26,565 --> 00:24:28,231 But... 675 00:24:28,267 --> 00:24:30,600 But she has... you know she has two daughters, right? 676 00:24:30,653 --> 00:24:33,487 - And it really moves me. - Okay. 677 00:24:33,522 --> 00:24:36,239 All right, so now you're hosting dinners 678 00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:37,991 and entertaining people, 679 00:24:38,027 --> 00:24:41,161 and you've basically replaced me? 680 00:24:41,196 --> 00:24:43,163 Okay, she... she has a plan, 681 00:24:43,198 --> 00:24:46,366 and I-I think it's only fair that we share the plan with you 682 00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:48,168 - because it involves you. - What's happened? 683 00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:50,620 The plan is, is that we'll be very discreet. 684 00:24:50,622 --> 00:24:52,622 Okay. Good to know. 685 00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:54,591 Um, we're gonna keep it all a secret, and then the minute 686 00:24:54,626 --> 00:24:56,460 he gets to the supreme court, we're gonna get married. 687 00:24:56,462 --> 00:24:58,211 You're gonna be out, and we're gonna get married. 688 00:24:58,263 --> 00:25:01,548 And I'm really sorry to be the one to tell you about that. 689 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,217 I hope it... but you don't care, so it doesn't matter. 690 00:25:04,269 --> 00:25:05,519 No, why would I care? 691 00:25:05,554 --> 00:25:07,854 You can say out, but maybe I would say free. 692 00:25:07,890 --> 00:25:09,639 Yeah, you're right. I used the wrong word. 693 00:25:09,641 --> 00:25:11,558 It's not out. You're just gonna be free. 694 00:25:11,610 --> 00:25:12,976 Yes, to be with someone else. 695 00:25:13,028 --> 00:25:14,728 Speaking of free, what about your fiance? 696 00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:17,614 Remember him, Phil? 697 00:25:17,649 --> 00:25:19,649 Phil. Phil, wow, yeah. 698 00:25:19,702 --> 00:25:22,486 I should probably call him and let him know the plan as well. 699 00:25:22,538 --> 00:25:24,121 That would be nice. 700 00:25:24,156 --> 00:25:25,956 - Yeah, I forgot about Phil. - Okay, you know what? 701 00:25:25,991 --> 00:25:28,125 I'm gonna say something now, all right? 702 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,576 Because I want you to know 703 00:25:29,628 --> 00:25:31,495 that I'm tired of one thing, okay? 704 00:25:31,497 --> 00:25:33,330 Oh. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. 705 00:25:33,382 --> 00:25:34,664 I'm getting a reminder. 706 00:25:34,666 --> 00:25:36,166 Oh, dear. Oh, what is it? 707 00:25:37,419 --> 00:25:39,503 Oh, it's your birthday next week. 708 00:25:41,056 --> 00:25:44,508 I guess I'm going to have to get busy. 709 00:25:44,510 --> 00:25:45,675 Oh, I'm sorry. I interrupted you. 710 00:25:45,728 --> 00:25:47,344 - What were you saying? - Yes. 711 00:25:47,396 --> 00:25:48,762 You were saying something about being tired? 712 00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:50,263 Yes, I'm... I was going to say 713 00:25:50,315 --> 00:25:53,433 - that I'm very tired of diamonds. - Oh. 714 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:56,653 And I think rubies are far more interesting. 715 00:25:56,688 --> 00:25:59,406 - Rubies? - Set in gold. 716 00:25:59,441 --> 00:26:03,577 Rubies set in gold. Even with your complexion? 717 00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:11,118 - Okay, sorry, I did that wrong. - Let's start again. 718 00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:13,670 - No, it... no one's in trouble. - Well. 719 00:26:13,705 --> 00:26:16,590 No, I know when I'm in trouble, all right? 720 00:26:22,347 --> 00:26:24,153 You're perverted. 721 00:26:25,434 --> 00:26:29,219 Yeah. You're wack. 722 00:26:31,824 --> 00:26:33,440 - You look perfect now. - Okay. 723 00:26:33,475 --> 00:26:34,691 You look absolutely perfect. 724 00:26:34,726 --> 00:26:36,393 Centered. 725 00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:39,229 And I look good, I guess? 726 00:26:39,281 --> 00:26:41,314 You look okay. That's all right. We c... 727 00:26:41,366 --> 00:26:42,566 - She looks good. - Oh, good. 728 00:26:42,618 --> 00:26:44,113 She had the makeover. 729 00:26:44,133 --> 00:26:46,106 This is our blooper reel. 730 00:26:46,603 --> 00:26:49,581 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 54914

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