All language subtitles for Web Therapy S03E06 1080p WEB-DL AAC2 0 AVC-TrollHD.EN

Previously on Web Therapy...

That investigation
has really heated up.

They're really after me.
And I think Ben's behind it.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

It was all shredded and--

- In my--in my diary?
- Mm-hmm.

You have my diary?

"And here's my plan
to get rid of 'F.'"

Oh, so you're working
for Mexican drug lords

it sounds like.

No, these people are Russian.

- Say "Giacomo's."
- What's happening?

- Say "Giacomo's."
- Giacomo's.

Giacomo's?
Giacomo's! Ah!

[Jazz music]

Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

Hello.
Uh, I have to--

Hello.

I really have to talk
really fast because the--

this might be
our last conversation.

- Uh, the FBI broke in today.
- Yes.

When--and--

I was with you on the Skype

and gave you the code word.
You were absolutely right.

You were right, Fiona.
They were with the Russian mob.

- Yes.
- And they kill people.

And now...
[Sighs]

we're being--
we're in the Witness Protection.

So you're going to testify,
hand over all of the books.

They--somehow they knew

that I have records.

Yes, I told them
that you had records.

You told them?

The FBI, yes, so that
you could get some protection.

I knew that they were
the Russian mob.

I knew you were
in a dangerous--

very dangerous situation,
Richard.

So I called in
the cavalry for you.

- Thank you, Fiona.
- You're welcome.

- I, uh--
- Is Robin going in with you?

Well, of course.
Of course.

And the baby.

And so we're gonna be
going someplace

that we're not supposed to say.

Okay.
So don't say it.

Well...

it rhymes with Fontana.

Okay.

- But starts with an "M."
- Got it.

All right, yeah,
you don't need to say it.

Yes.
No, I understand.

[Whispering]
I'm going to Montana.

Well, I'm glad
it all worked out.

I can't thank you enough.

Oh, you have.
As long as you're safe.

You--I know why
you did this.

I'm not a bad person after all.

I know you,
and I know that you still care.

- Okay.
- I--

I--I love you.

Aww.
Love ya too.

Richard, those goons downstairs

won't let me take my phone.

Come here so I can hide it
down your pants.

[Gasps] Who are you talking to?

- Oh.
- Fiona saved us.

- You.
- She's the one--

- Saved us?
- Yeah.

- Are you kidding me?
- You're welcome, Robin.

I wasn't gonna thank you

other than thank you
for fucking us.

- What?
- Are you kidding me?

- Why would you sah--
- You know, you got a nerve.

No, she's saving her
and Austin is what she's saving.

Austin?

You actually believe
this is about her saving--

Of course.
No, no, no, no, no--she knew.

No, she didn't want me
to expose Austin,

which is why she set this up.

And now we're going into

the witness fuckin'
protection program.

Of course I didn't want you
to expose Austin.

In Timbuktu.

- The chief supreme villain...
- Wow!

To get away with her evil deed.

I don't like the tone
that you're talking to her--

- Okay.
- You should be grateful.

- I'm not grateful, 'cause she--
- And you're being very mean.

And this is the way
you've been lately,

and I don't like it.

She didn't do anything
other than protect herself.

- You're ruining my career.
- What career?

Don't make me rethink
who I go into...

They're not even letting me
take my phone.

- Custody with.
- Will you hide this phone?

You can't keep anything
of yours?

You can't take a phone.
They make it very clear.

You're dealing with
the Russian mafia, you idiot.

All right, I--let's go.
I gotta get a manicure

- on the way out of town.
- Well, go.

You cannot take that phone.

- [Laughing]
- They gave us a list.

Enjoy the rest of your life,
Richard.

- I'm coming!
- Let's go!

I am coming!
I will get there in a second!

That's right, you tell her.

I'm going to be stuck
in a cabin with her.

- Let's go!
- Ahh!

[Whispering]
She is out of control.

She's very loud.

I'm very grateful.

I'm sorry for her behavior.

That's all right.

Just remember,
people have accidents

out in the woods.

- I understand what this--
- Richard!

Oh.

- Hello!
- Hi!

- Hi.
- Oh, hello, hello, hello!

- Hello. Hi there.
- How are you?

Oh, there you both are.

It's nice to meet you,
Blair and Augie.

- Augie, yeah, hi.
- Yes.

- Hi.
- I'm Dr. Fiona Wallice.

- Hi, doctor.
- Hello.

What can I do for you today?

Well, uh,
my girlfriend and I--

- Blair. Hi, B.
- Hi, babe.

Uh, we have been
in a long-distance relationship

for, uh, two years now?

- I think it's two yeah.
- Two years. Oh, my God.

- Wow.
- Two deuces.

Best years of my life.

Uh, and we--
we're, you know, um,

wondering if, uh, you know,
meeting would be a good idea.

- Wait, did--
- It's a great idea.

- It just--
- Well, yeah, we're beyond that.

We plan to meet next week.

You've not met before?

- No.
- Well, sure.

- I mean, not in person.
- Yes.

We have--I mean, well, you know,
we're meet--here we are.

There you are.
We've met you.

- Right. Yes.
- Wait, wait, wait.

So your relationship
wholly exists online,

- and that's exclusively.
- Yes.

You've not been
in the same room?

- Oh, sure. No.
- No.

No, no, no. No, no.

Well, I mean,
she's in my room now,

just like I'm in her room
and you're in our room.

Oh, I get--
for your generation,

it's a different reality,
I suppose.

Yeah, I mean,
so many couples meet online,

you know, these days.

And we just--I mean,
we spend so much time together.

You know, we basically do
everything together.

I mean, we order meals
at the same time, you know.

That's always fun.
Meal time is fun.

Oh, isn't it?

Wait, may I ask
how you heard of me?

We heard about you
on a Groupon,

and it was either--
you know,

it was a pretty good deal,
actually.

- What?
- Really nice price.

- Thank you.
- I'm not on Group--

I'm on Groupon?

- It was six sessions...
- Six.

- For $10.
- What?

- $10, yeah.
- But that's outrageous.

- Was it 10?
- Yeah, it was 10

for both of us,
so that seems fair.

But that wasn't my intention.
Jerome did that.

That's stupid.
Jerome is my assistant.

- Well, good on Jerome.
- Yeah, exactly, babe!

- That's sweet.
- Thanks to--

well, thanks to Jerome,
we're here.

I mean, it was either you
or the discount skydiving.

And, you know,
that was just way out of my--

I'd have to leave the house
for that.

Plus, and then we'd have
to be together.

And, you know, we kind of
wanted to do it the right way.

So we, you know--
we wanted to talk to you first.

It's just hard for me because
I've had difficulty with people

just actually being there.

- And I don't know.
- It's okay, babe, it's okay.

This is so much easier
when you have someone

that you can really get down
to what's important,

which is, you know,
what's in their mind--

- Connecting!
- Connecting, you know?

Sort of an emotional
and intellectual intimacy...

- Yes!
- Before you have

the physical intimacy,
which can cloud.

And we've just had,
you know, an emotional

and intellectual connection
for a long time.

- Right.
- I would say it was months

before we actually
got physical, right?

Oh, you--physical.
So you...

sort of performed...
things for each other.

Well, yes.
It's, uh--

we do tend to go
to an intimate place.

- Mm-hmm.
- Um, occasionally,

we've shared
some pretty vulnerable moments.

I didn't know we were gonna
launch into this...

- That's interesting.
- Part of the talk right away.

But it's not--we can't,
you know, really call it sex,

though, because sex is actually
when bodies are touching,

is it not?

Well, I mean, that's--
that's all relative.

I mean, it's pretty--
it's--it's sex.

It's sex.
It's a lot of sex.

But we keep it really safe,
and we keep it--

- Oh, really safe.
- Yeah.

Well, how could it not be safe?

You're not even
in the same room.

Well, for me, you know,
I have, you know,

I put saran wrap
over the keyboard.

And I always make sure

that we use encrypted sites
and codes

so that nobody can tap
into our intimate moments.

- Totally safe.
- Yeah.

Oh, that's what safe sex
is to you.

Absolutely.

Okay, I'm of
a different generation

when we actually, you know,
died from disease

or got pregnant.

- I've read about that.
- Yeah.

I'm just trying
to get my bearings, you know,

to understand the parameters
of this...

uh, relationship?

You consider yourselves
to be in a relationship?

Oh, definitely.
It's on Facebook.

- Yes.
- What?

Well, I mean, it's--
I mean, we're

as official as you can get.

It's on most social media--

So then how did you meet?

Well, I run...
[Clears throat]

a blog.

I run several blogs.

Primarily, I run my, um--
my Chalkime blog.

Oh, yeah, can you see it
in the background? See?

Oh!

Particularly,
I take an interest

in chalkwork and anime.

So that's actually
Talkime Chalkime

is my main sort of, uh, site.

Isn't that just adorable?
I mean, he thought of that.

I thought of it.
You're right, it's like--

chalk and talk rhyme,

so I figured that's
what I wanna talk about.

So it was perfect.

It's--yes.
That is--it's cute.

So, yeah, I mean,
he had his chalk following.

- And it was substantial.
- Oh.

And then we sort of combined
his followers with my followers.

- I'm a graphic novelist.
- Oh!

One of--my first novel,
Teardrops On My Typewriter,

it has a weird cult following.

I don't know,
it just really picked up

sort of on the online world.

And so, yeah,
I have a few followers.

It's really not a big deal.

It's a big deal.
She's got like 60,000.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Let me just refresh
really quick.

- That's a lot.
- Oh, baby, it's 62 now!

62.
That's not a surprise to me.

Wow.

- Going on 63.
- [Laughing]

- Wow.
- What's so interesting

is that we started writing
on each other's blogs.

And then people
started realizing

that we had
this relationship blooming.

And people started
posting questions and comments

- about our relationship.
- Mm-hmm.

So we figured we would just
start our own blog together.

It's called LDL411.

So you can get the 411 on LDL.

What's LDL?
That's a lipid, right?

- What's it--what do you mean?
- Not close.

Uh, long...
distance...

- Lovers.
- Long-distance lovers.

Oh, LDL--
long-distance lovers.

Yeah. It's perfect.

And, you know, I think the site

has really become
sort of a respite

for people that are in
a situation like ours.

- And it's so common now.
- It is.

Everyone, you know,

is in a long-distance
relationship.

- Yes. Yes.
- For sure.

It's a huge community.
It's beautiful.

I mean, combined,
our relationship is--

what are we up to now, babe,
like, 80k?

- 98,000.
- Wow!

98,000.

- It's getting there.
- Yeah.

You know what,
I would love to help you

in this, because I think
it's very important

for all of these people
who are involved

in these
fake relationships--

Well, I wouldn't say
that it's fake.

- Cyber.
- Cyber.

A cyber--cybership.

The most important thing

is that you are clearly
very supportive of each other.

And I'm with you.
I fully support it.

I'm very happy to get on board.

- Oh, I'm glad to hear that.
- Great.

That's wonderful.

And I can offer also--

you know, I record all
of my sessions.

So when I record our sessions,

they can be posted
on the LDL, you know, 911.

- 411! But that's okay.
- 411.

That's right.
Not an emergency.

- Not your generation.
- An emergency of love.

Happy to post them

so I can have your,
you know, site

link to my site
if any of them need help.

And, you know, for me,

I mean, we're meeting next week
for the first time.

So we sort of just thought
we'd get one quick session in,

you know?

You're meeting next week
already?

- Next week, next week.
- Isn't that exciting?

I mean, an not "already."

It's been two years, but yes.

And then--
so then it'll be over.

You won't need, uh, counseling.

- Oh.
- Right?

- Well--
- Oh.

Well, let's see,
that seems a little soon to me

- to meet next week, I mean--
- Really?

Well, you know, I think
there are a lot of things,

just from my brief encounter
with the two of you,

it feels like there are
a lot of issues

that you have
that you might want to

sort of explore
before you meet each other.

This'll take a lot longer
than a week!

[Laughing] I can assure you.

- Really?
- Wow. Okay.

All right, why don't
we see each other next time?

Okay.

And we'll explore this further.

Okay, um, baby, are we still
having dinner tonight?

Uh, yeah.
I call you.

I gotta go poop,
but I'll Skype you in five.

- Okay, love you.
- Bye. Kisses.

- Love you.
- Bye!

[Kissing sounds]
Come-you come.

You close--you have
to close your laptop.

- Go. Close.
- I have to--

I have to shit, so--
- [Laughing]

- I'm gonna close mine.
- Okay.

- Hi, Fiona.
- Hi, Kip.

I can't really talk right now.

- It's been kind of a crazy day.
- Oh, no!

Well, I was just calling
to check in.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, uh, you know,

Ben's in some trouble.

Apparently, the A.U.S.A.
got a hold of this journal

that had been
inadvertently--

- Oh.
- Ben had kept

- during the campaign.
- Uh-huh.

And, uh, it was
pieced together,

- and, uh, there's some--
- Pieced together?

Yeah, there's some issues
in it that need to be addressed.

- Oh, it had been shredded?
- Well, yeah.

- Oh.
- Apparently, he inadvertently,

uh, funneled $2 million
into an account

that had to go
to some real estate bills,

and, you know,
it was an accident.

It was kind of
a misunderstanding, and so--

And the journal said,
"I funneled money

into Fiona's account"?

- It wasn't that specific.
- It wasn't?

- Really?
- No, no, I mean, don't--

- come on, honey, we gotta go.
- Everything's fine.

Look, Ben, I'm just telling
Fiona that we're, uh--

we have a busy day ahead of us.

Yes, I was just calling
to check in

and see how
you guys were doing.

Oh, well thank you so much

for just checking in
and seeing how we're doing.

Well, thank you
for keeping journals

during a campaign.

Oh, so you knew about that.

I--Kip just told me.

She had to know
what's going on.

- I wonder, I wonder.
- He just told me.

Those--they were all shredded.
Everything was shredded.

I don't know how they
could have been put together.

Do you know an army
of Iranian children

who sew paper together
that's been shredded?

- Hmm, no, I don't.
- Well, for starters,

yes, I keep a journal
about everything.

You know why?
Because feelings are important.

And thoughts
and plans and schemes

to set up someone's wife
to get her out of the picture...

- Writing something--
- Are also important.

Writing something down
doesn't mean

that's what you're really
going to do.

Feelings are not facts.

No, but apparently
writing it down

makes it evidence,
which is why you're going...

where today?
Where was it?

Uh, we are--
we are voluntarily

taking a tour of prisons,

because I am going to agree

to a lesser charge

of making bad
financial decisions...

- Mm-hmm...
- With money that is not my own.

- Oh.
- It's really just

- a misunderstanding.
- That's all it is.

There was no intention to hurt
anybody or do anything wrong.

Oh, sure, all thievery
is a misunderstanding.

I was investing money
that was going to grow

for the campaign.

Investing it where?

Fiona, it's beautiful.
You'd love this place.

Maybe we could all
take a little--

no, I mean, we'll--
you'll see it.

- Where is it?
- I'll send some pictures.

- It's in Costa Rica.
- Uh-huh.

And it--Pupuseria
is a purse-making factory,

literally, is what it means.

But what it really is
is a place to put

your precious things.

That's what the idea
behind the whole complex is.

Yeah, so we can live there
and feel secure,

and that we are
nurturing each other.

You'll be making purses?

It's a way for you

to make your own dreams
come true at this--

It's a creative process.
It's something that

we can be creative...

You don't understand
creativity.

Move on to the next
step in our lives,

because we have big plans,

and we're not quite sure
what we're gonna do.

So you'll literally have purses

coming out of your mouth.

- Do you like the bandana?
- Um, hold on.

Let me just call the, um--
the baseball bat wielding

gay basher
on the other computer

on her wonderful, wonderful
phrase of purses falling--

- Not gay bashing.
- Oh? All right.

- It's not gay bashing.
- Does this look gay to you?

- No, it does not.
- Yes.

Kip, honestly, I thought,

"Oh, he's trying
to say that he's gay,"

or, "He tried to slit his throat
and used a tourniquet."

- Well, that's--
- It's only one of two things.

No, no.
There's three things.

- What's the third?
- The third things is

"I'm just a--
I'm just a cowboy."

- Okay, "pardner."
- That's, yeah, right.

Just a cowboy
who likes to--

Ben gave it to me
this morning.

- Mm-hmm.
- I like it.

Oh, a keepsake

before he's gone forever?

He's not gone forever,

and I can visit him every--
every week.

- Day.
- Day. Every day.

- I can go every day.
- Oh, lucky.

Mm-hmm.
They have a conjugal room.

For you two?

- She doesn't need to know that.
- I'm just saying

all the things
that they have there.

You're gonna wait for him
after prison?

Yes, that's right.
We plan to turn a negative,

which is you,
into a positive, which is us.

Anyway, I'm going
to just do some

quick, uh, sit-ups.

Oh, you're looking good?

Getting into shape for prison?

I need to be able
to take a punch

in a line
when I'm getting my food,

and both my hands
are on my tray.

Oh, really?
From other campaign--

You don't have to get in line
at a minimum security.

They bring you food.
They bring it to your cell.

- They do?
- Yes.

He looked out for me.

And he's helping
make this happen.

We're gonna--
this is gonna be

a very brief glitch,
and we're gonna get over it,

and we're gonna get
back on the campaign trail,

and, uh, we're gonna meet
a lot of friends in the prison

that can help us.

There are a lot
of Republicans in prison.

Campaigning for what?

The rainbow coalition of what?

Look, I am not
some gay advocate.

I don't believe in it.

It's just something
that's happening.

You know, it's just
a man-man thing that happened.

Just having
a good time together...

- So you know, uh--
- With our dicks out.

- Hi, Augie.
- Hello. Hi, doc.

- Hello.
- I'm so excited.

- Me too.
- I have a few more followers.

And then I also have
some sessions booked.

Great, sounds like
everything's going great.

- Same thing for me.
- Oh.

I got, uh, at least--
it was 5,000, 10,000.

- I kinda lost track.
- Yay, team!

Yay, team.
Such a difference.

And I think everyone's
really responded to your

really amazing advice
to holding off the--on meeting.

I guess we weren't
really ready, you know?

- No.
- But it's interesting

to read all the comments.
[Ringtone plays]

Some people are really for it,
some people are against it.

Let's--here's Blair.
Let me--

- Okay.
- Hi, Blair.

- Hi. Hi, B.
- Hi.

We were just saying
how wonderful

all of this is going.

You know,
we're making a difference

in people's lives,
and I think--

- Are we?
- It's really great.

I don't know if you read
all those comments--

the half of the responses
that were really saying,

- "You know, I think--"
- Yeah, Augie, I did.

I read all the comments.

It seems like that's
all you talk about anymore.

- Oh, you don't seem happy.
- Well, there's a lot of them.

It's good to get
people's input, you know?

Well, to be honest, I--

I think we're having
sort of a tough time.

- Oh.
- I wouldn't call it tough.

I just think it adds another
element to have the doctor--

We've been having
some disagreements.

We--okay, yeah.

About what?
What movies to watch together?

- What online games?
- Wow, that would be nice.

I would love
to watch a movie with Augie,

- if he was ever around.
- I'm busy.

There's been a lot
of responses to the site,

and I just want to be available
to people like us,

and guys like me, who are
in love with girls like you,

and trying to--it's hard
to respond to everybody.

I got an away message
the other day

when I tried
to instant message him on Skype.

- An away message.
- Okay, slow down, slow down.

Like, am I a secretary
or something?

What, did you just want me
to say, "Hey, BRB"?

Just treat you like that?
Just treat you like one of my--

I want you to BRB
other people for me,

so that you can LOL with me.

- What's BRB?
- "Be right back."

I can't just BRB you.
I'm not gonna BRB and just GTG.

I'd rather treat you
with some respect and leave--

- GTG?
- "Gotta go."

"Gotta go."
Thank you.

- I should write these down.
- Sorry. Yeah.

It's all right.
No, no, no, keep go--

this is, you know--

And also, doctor, I have
to tell you something else.

He stopped following me
on Instagram.

- What?
- And I know that's crazy,

but I just don't understand
why you would do that.

I mean, why would you
stop following me?

I mean, what's
going on with you?

I feel like I don't even
know you anymore.

- What, are you jealous?
- Jealous? I mean--

No, not you.
I meant Augie.

I'm sorry,
I'm looking at Augie.

Sounds like you're
a little jealous of her success,

which is common
for men with women.

No.
I--no.

They can't deal
with successful women.

Baby, that's not true, is it?

[Stammering]
Jealous is a little strong.

But isn't that a statement?
"I'm not gonna follow you?"

Yeah, it is.
It is a statement.

This is exactly what
I was trying to tell you before.

Yeah, he's removing support.

- Doctor, I have a question.
- Yes.

Um, Augie,
where were you yesterday night

when I had julio
try to bring you Thai

from your favorite place
around the corner?

'Cause he told me
you weren't there.

That's for me?

- What? No.
- It's for Augie.

I was just putting
it out there, I'm sorry.

This is all very explainable.

It just gets
tough for me sometimes

when the bandwidth
gets so crowded

- with all the...
- "Bandwidth."

Responses and videos
that people are sending--

yes, the bandwidth.
And my wi-fi is rather shitty.

So I go to the cafe down
the street with the free wi-fi

so I can respond
to people more fast.

- Mm-hmm.
- Is that new, him going--

That's not what
your "Find My iPhone" app said.

That's not what it said--that's
not where it said you were.

What is that?
What is that? Find my--

- You use that app?
- Of course I use that app.

- Augie, you know that.
- What is it?

[Sighs]
I can tell where he is

by the location of his iPhone.

Oh, you can do that?
It's called Find--

Yes, and it's fine.
I mean, I trust you.

But I feel like you're not
being honest with me.

- I'm sorry.
- And all of a sudden...

you're, like, a big shot,

and you're too busy
to talk to me anymore.

Well--
[Scoffs]

You're the one with all
the followers that say...

Oh, you're bringing up
the followers.

"You're so amazing,"
and, you know,

"You should dump that guy.

"What does he know?
You're--

you have way more exciting
things going on."

That's, like, what,
like, 2,000 guys.

- Sure.
- It's actually 5,632 guys.

- I took a poll on the--whatever.
- That's a lot.

I'm sorry,
but it's just that I--

if we did meet in person,

then the past two years
of people being interested

if we will or if we won't,
they'll just go away.

- Right.
- But, Augie, this is real life.

Okay, real people
lose followers.

You know, it happens.
You're gonna have a drop off.

But this is what's real.

I mean, look at us.
We are real, right?

You know what's real?
You know what's r--

[flatulence] Did you hear that?

- What?
- Augie.

- What happened?
- That's real.

You can't--
if you were in--

if you were with me right now,

that'd be terrible.
[Flatulence]

Oh, so now you're
on that side of it.

- Now you're--
- What happened?

Now you're gonna be
on this side

of this whole argument that

it's not a good idea
for us to meet at all?

I mean, should we
just never meet?

- Should we never Skype again?
- No, I--

Should we never log on

to this Skype account
ever again

and never see each other again?

No, no, that's
not the way to go.

Oh, you're saying just
get rid of the blog,

- like this never happened.
- Yeah.

Let's just get rid of the blog.

We'll just shut it down
completely,

and then if we feel
like we need to talk,

you know,
we'll just talk ourselves...

- What, on the phone?
- Maybe in a month or something.

No, not on the phone!
That's crazy!

I have followers too
from that blog.

- Okay.
- Let's not forget.

I just don't see what that has
to do with our relationship,

and the fact that we simply
can't seem to make this work.

Well, because, you know what?

Wait, how many--
how many followers do you...

- What?
- Why don't you guys

call each other
on Skype and talk

- about your followers separately?
- Well, you have more than I do.

It's more
than last week, right?

All right, no, no.
Listen, listen.

This is all getting
out of hand, all right?

I mean the fact is,
is that we have

a responsibility
to other people.

You know,
we live where--

where--
let me get this straight.

We're social
human beings, all right?

Social-networking
human beings.

We exist within
the context of a society.

And right now, your society

depends on the two of you
having this online relationship.

Yeah, and I think
that really makes the rela--

Wait, I'm not done.
And it depends on myself

to counsel this kind

of very complicated
relationship.

- It does make sense.
- It makes a lot of sense.

I mean,
I feel like--

I mean, you're, you know,
you're old.

You get this
generational thing.

Older than you are.

- Old is a part of older.
- Der than you are.

So when you, you know,
used to write letters

at each other,
you know, across the ocean

to your--to your beloved,
it's like, that was...

No, I'm not from
the world war ii era.

That was really romantic,
you know?

- I didn't--
- Like, when you'd write,

you know,
by the candle and everything?

That was really
a romantic process.

That is pretty sweet.

And you never got
to see each other every day.

Did you not go to school?

[Overlapping chatter]

And they would
dream about things.

Maybe one day that boat across
to see each other.

Baby, you're funny.
You're creative.

Really were with each other.

They would just have
limited interaction,

and I feel like that's such
a big part of our relationship.

How long do you think
people live?

I'm sorry?

What do you suggest that we do?

I mean, I feel confused.
I wanna make this better,

but I just don't see
any way that we can.

You know, it's very difficult.

Blair, you were already very
successful and well on your way.

- At such young age, too.
- At such a young age!

She's so young.

Well, just think
of where she's gonna be

by the time she's, you know,
well into her whatever you are.

I've already published
three graphic novels.

I mean, it's a very stressful
existence for me enough.

You know, I wanna just sit in my
room and connect with my lover.

Right, and so for Augie,
Blair, what you have

to understand
is that it's very difficult

for him to come in
to a relationship with a person

who has so far surpassed him.

- Right.
- Right, already.

And he's working his way
up to that.

- Absolutely.
- I'm really trying.

All right.
He's trying.

And that's
what he's interested in.

And that's what
the 20s are for.

That time in your life
when you're ambitious,

and you're going for it,
and trying to be a success.

And you're referring to the 20s

as in the 20,000s
follower range,

- and then when you get to the--
- No, like, like the depression.

- Like, uh--
- Oh, the '20s.

No, I wasn't alive in the 20s.

- I don't understand--
- Yeah, like flappers.

Yeah, like,
"Hey, how ya doin'?"

- And moonshine.
- Yeah, yeah.

- What?
- Jazz.

In terms of human being
chronological age,

you're in your 20s.
That's the time when you have

the energy
and the ambition, right,

to grab onto your dream
and make it happen.

All right, you're further along
than Augie is.

- Very much so.
- So that's where you might

see him feeling
a little bit threatened

- by your success.
- I understand completely.

I am a little threatened.

So of course he's going
to have to send you a--

you know, a not right--
what is it?

A BRB
or a "Wait awhile, will ya?"

Because he needs
to put you on hold.

- "W-A-W-Y"...
- Do you understand?

He needs that.
So don't take it personally.

Babe, I just--
I just wanna be on your level.

I just wanna look as busy
and as productive

and industrious
as you, you know, when--

- Even if you're not.
- [Sighs]

Now, you need--
look at each other.

Don't look at me.

I can't tell if you were
looking at me or not anyway.

I'm looking at him.
Now I'm looking at him.

Hold on, I'm moving
my window here so I can--

Your window was blocking me
this whole time?

Well, no, I'm just
enlarging it.

It was in the way of--
it was Microsoft Word.

Now this is the area
we need to get away from.

All right, don't take
everything so personally.

Just look at each other,
all right?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Look at each other.

Look into each other's eyes.

All right, this is
where it started, right?

This is the connection,
it's between the two of you.

You need to reconnect.

You two.
It's about the two of you,

who love each other,
who watch movies together,

who play, you know,
AOL together,

or the--um, the online,
you know, World of Witchcraft.

We just need to, like,
do a restart.

Restart.
Restart button.

- Restart button.
- Restart.

- Hit the restart.
- Let's do a force quit.

- Yep, force quit.
- And a restart.

- Control, option, alt, escape.
- But don't really do that,

or we'll go away.

- Oh, sure,
- Right.

God, I feel like--

- I did miss you, I mean--
- I miss--[Sighs]

I just miss talking
to you like this,

and seeing you,
and touching you kind of,

and rubbing the screen,
and--

- Yeah, I did miss it.
- It's warm.

[Laughs] It is!
I can pretend it's your body.

- Oh, is this how you--
- Oh, yeah.

- Um, I think we're done.
- Yeah, I think we're done.

Uh, if we could get some--
some time.

- Just a little time.
- Just a little time.

Oh! Yes.
Okay, good.

Then I'll see you
in our next session--all right.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Oh, good-bye!

A place that's obviously cold.

And it rhymes with Montana.

- What?
- [Laughs]

Okay.

A BRB
or a "wait awhile, will ya?"

I just wanna be
on your level, baby.

- You know?
- [Laughs] I'm sorry.

Go back and--
go back and say that.

[Laughter]

- "A wait awhile, will ya?"
- Gotcha!

[Laughter]
It's so funny.

So of course
he's going to send a--

you know, an lo--no.
A BRB,

or a "wait awhile--"

[laughs] I wanna say it.

I wanna have it in there,
'cause that's so lame!