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1
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:03,148
(Muslim call to prayer)
2
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,452
♪♪
3
00:01:19,748 --> 00:01:22,333
(blowtorch cutting)
4
00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:59,287
(Pink Panther theme)
5
00:02:16,805 --> 00:02:18,056
(explosion)
6
00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,609
(chomping)
7
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,906
(chomping)
8
00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:38,827
(chomping)
9
00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,540
(whistling)
10
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,500
(crash)
11
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,802
(wolf whistle)
12
00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:56,446
(gunshots)
13
00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:01,201
(toy gunshots)
14
00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:11,377
♪♪
15
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:51,793
(stretching, snapping)
16
00:05:23,658 --> 00:05:25,201
(chomping)
17
00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:30,957
(sawing)
18
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,174
(camera clicking)
19
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,222
(camera clicking)
20
00:05:57,734 --> 00:05:59,485
(liquid pouring)
21
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,346
(squishing)
22
00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:28,973
(squishing)
23
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:33,561
(chomping)
24
00:06:44,989 --> 00:06:46,449
(chomping)
25
00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,077
(chomping)
26
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,888
He's going in.
27
00:07:09,347 --> 00:07:11,849
(Italian opera playing,
bell rings)
28
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,623
Ah, Inspector!
29
00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:38,000
Uh... Chief Inspector.
30
00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:40,545
Chief Inspector.
Hail to the chief!
31
00:07:40,753 --> 00:07:41,587
Come right in.
32
00:07:41,796 --> 00:07:44,757
Good to see you. Your disguise
is ready for the final fitting.
33
00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:46,926
- I'm sure you will be pleased.
- Good, good.
34
00:07:47,135 --> 00:07:50,638
- Inspector Clouseau is here!
- Chief, uh, Chief Inspector Clouseau.
35
00:07:50,847 --> 00:07:51,806
Chief!
36
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:55,268
Yes. Listen, I saw some
very interesting noses there.
37
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,770
Oh, those noses over there?
They are for the amateurs.
38
00:07:57,979 --> 00:08:00,273
- I have some in my private stock.
- Oh, wonderful.
39
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:04,944
Yes! You always did have
a nose for noses.
40
00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:08,406
Yes. I'm sorry, but our
Valentine's Day stock isn't ready yet,
41
00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:10,658
- but we have some beauties here for you.
- Yes? Yes?
42
00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:14,162
Alright, let's try this one first.
Ah, here's a marvelous one.
43
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:16,372
- Inspector?
- (indistinct murmuring)
44
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:20,251
- Alright. Shall we just get that on there? Hmm?
- Yeah.
45
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,503
- What do you think of that? Yes.
- Now, wait, wait.
46
00:08:22,712 --> 00:08:25,465
I call this one
"The Way We Were".
47
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:29,093
Yes, do you like it?
It's from our Streisand line.
48
00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:31,596
- Do you like it?
- Mm...
49
00:08:31,804 --> 00:08:34,640
No, I don't like it either.
Sorry, I almost took your nose with that.
50
00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:37,685
Just a moment. Let's try this--
What are you doing?
51
00:08:37,894 --> 00:08:40,813
(murmuring, fighting)
52
00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:43,191
Now, come over here.
Let's try this one now, Inspector.
53
00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:45,026
I think you will
like this one very much.
54
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,404
It's very suitable for your face.
It fits in with your lines.
55
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,781
What do you think of that?
Mmm?
56
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:54,076
We call this one
"Wino and Roses".
57
00:08:54,285 --> 00:08:56,037
- Yes, you notice--
- Why is it--
58
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:59,248
The veins are quite lifelike.
Don't you agree?
59
00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:01,876
I am particularly proud of
the enlarged pores.
60
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:05,129
Look at this one right here.
Huh?
61
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:09,091
I wasn't crazy about it either.
Alright, we'll try something else.
62
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,928
- Something, uh... something missing there.
- Something's missing? Alright.
63
00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:13,221
- How about that?
- You know what I mean?
64
00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:14,805
- Is that supposed to...
- Does that work for you?
65
00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:18,267
- Oh, that's very nice, isn't it?
- That is a nose, Auguste.
66
00:09:18,476 --> 00:09:20,937
- That is a nose.
- You have a nose for noses.
67
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:24,357
I always can tell
immediately I see the nose.
68
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:27,151
- We call this one our "Inky Dinky Doo".
- "Inky Dinky Doo"?
69
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:31,239
- It's from our "Inky Dinky Doo" line.
- What do you have to go with this?
70
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:35,284
This will keep you very warm, too.
This has a nice effect with that nose.
71
00:09:35,493 --> 00:09:37,954
- That is too legal. Yes.
- Too legal?
72
00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:41,123
I want something that is
sort of, um... how can I say?
73
00:09:41,332 --> 00:09:44,085
Leave it to Dr. Balls.
74
00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:47,755
Auguste! Auguste!
Look what you have done.
75
00:09:47,964 --> 00:09:49,924
- You like it?
- You're a genius.
76
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,511
- Wait. Some-- something-- something is missing.
- What? What?
77
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:59,183
Yes. I know what's missing.
Here are some teeth... on the house.
78
00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:01,310
Let me see how they look.
79
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:04,272
- Perfect! Perfect!
- Look at this.
80
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:09,652
You are a genius at your art.
My dear boy.
81
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:12,572
He's still inside.
82
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,116
What do you want
us to do when he comes out?
83
00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:16,784
(man) Follow him.
84
00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:18,995
(whistling noise)
85
00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:22,832
Martha! Come down and wrap
the chief inspector's purchase, please.
86
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,042
(woman coughs)
87
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:29,839
I've recently been doing
something very daring in a stump.
88
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:33,426
Arm and leg.
Only 900 francs for the complete kit.
89
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,929
Yes. Yes. It has been my
experience, Auguste, that,
90
00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:40,474
in an emergency, a stump
can get in the way, you know.
91
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:44,895
Alright, alright. Ah, Martha, you remember
Chief Inspector Clouseau?
92
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:52,820
I never set eyes on
zis gentleman before.
93
00:10:58,409 --> 00:10:59,952
Good evening, Martha.
94
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:05,374
I cannot believe my eyes!
95
00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:09,253
That is because your husband
is a genius, madame. A genius!
96
00:11:09,462 --> 00:11:14,634
Wrap these up, if you would, please.
And I want that nose to go with it.
97
00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:19,847
- Impossible.
- Oh, money is no object.
98
00:11:20,056 --> 00:11:24,060
That is absolutely the ugliest nose
I have ever seen in my life.
99
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:28,564
It is so revolting.
It is a masterpiece.
100
00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:32,652
It is also Martha's own nose.
101
00:11:36,155 --> 00:11:38,908
My compliments, madame.
It suits you.
102
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,076
(laughing)
103
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,912
Thank you, Chief Inspector.
104
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,122
Thank you!
105
00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:48,250
I will get your bill.
106
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,923
(blows raspberry)
107
00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:02,515
(fanfare)
108
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,066
(Martha sighs)
109
00:12:14,235 --> 00:12:17,113
My God, Auguste,
what have you done?
110
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:23,244
The left heel, cleverly built up,
which gives added height and authority.
111
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:26,956
Ja? But the real secret
is in the right heel.
112
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:31,335
The lifelike club-foot look
is caused by a built-in spring
113
00:12:31,544 --> 00:12:36,132
which digs into the ankle,
causing excruciating pain.
114
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:40,386
- Very realistic, don't you think?
- Remarkable. How soon can I have a pair?
115
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,930
I can have them ready for you
by Wednesday.
116
00:12:43,139 --> 00:12:44,890
(shoes squeaking)
117
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,686
Again, Auguste, my sincere thanks.
And to you, madame.
118
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,272
Do you like the hand?
I'll pack them up with the shoes.
119
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,232
Oh, don't worry,
we're having a hand sale.
120
00:12:53,441 --> 00:12:57,570
It will come in handy for scratching,
in case you have any hand jobs.
121
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,531
- We will see you soon, Inspector.
- Chief Inspector.
122
00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:03,993
Chief inspector! Goodbye.
We'll see you soon. Goodbye.
123
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,830
Oh, my God!
124
00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:11,667
I've never...
I can't stand!
125
00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:13,919
I've never been in such pain!
126
00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:17,548
Shall I kiss it
and make it better?
127
00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:19,759
It's not that bad.
128
00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:24,013
And, so, for the third time
in the memory of modern man,
129
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:29,101
the world's largest cut diamond, the
famous Pink Panther, has been stolen.
130
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:31,604
Since the reign of
Akbar the Magnificent
131
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,566
in the early 12th century,
until the recent bloodless coup
132
00:13:35,775 --> 00:13:39,236
of the former Colonel,
now President, Sandover Haleesh,
133
00:13:39,445 --> 00:13:43,866
the Pink Panther has been the
symbol of continuity of the Kurfilli,
134
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:47,453
the ruling family of the tiny
Middle East nation of Lugash.
135
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,080
- (buzzer)
- Princess Dala
136
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:52,541
- Yes?
- Chief Inspector Dreyfus.
137
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:53,542
Send him right in.
138
00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:54,710
...the current military regime
139
00:13:54,919 --> 00:13:57,630
who have kept the gem
under the tightest security--
140
00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:02,551
I came as soon as I
got your message, Commissioner.
141
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,762
- I commend your promptness.
- Thank you.
142
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:08,474
- You have heard of the theft in Lugash?
- The Pink Panther?
143
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:11,352
Yes, of course.
It is in all the papers.
144
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,939
Soon, I imagine, they will be
sending us a request
145
00:14:15,147 --> 00:14:17,316
for assistance in
catching the criminals.
146
00:14:17,525 --> 00:14:20,319
I have, as a matter of fact,
already received such a request
147
00:14:20,528 --> 00:14:22,404
from the president
of Lugash personally.
148
00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:25,741
I see. How many men
did the president ask for?
149
00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:29,286
Only one.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
150
00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:32,289
Clouseau?
151
00:14:32,498 --> 00:14:35,668
- See that he's on the next plane.
- Of course.
152
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,045
But, um... Commissioner.
153
00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:42,675
Don't you think that someone more...
conventional would, uh...
154
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:46,345
Not to take anything away from
Clouseau, you understand, but, uh,
155
00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:49,974
in view of the tense
situation in the Middle East...
156
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:53,811
I am aware of the tense situation
between you and Clouseau.
157
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:58,524
However, Lugash has requested
Clouseau, and Clouseau they will have.
158
00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,734
Your finger is in my ink.
159
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:02,361
(pop)
160
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,196
Hmm!
161
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:11,912
Mm-hmm.
162
00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:20,796
(blowing)
163
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,720
(blowing)
164
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,516
(embers smoldering, crackling)
165
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,105
(fire crackling)
166
00:15:44,737 --> 00:15:46,488
(stomping)
167
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:05,007
(Clouseau) Merde!
168
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,683
(coughing)
169
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:19,146
(window rattling)
170
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,448
(crashing)
171
00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:33,118
(rustling)
172
00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:37,623
(fire crackling)
173
00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:44,004
(Clouseau) Ow!
174
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,133
What's he doing in there?
175
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:49,760
(sighing)
176
00:16:49,969 --> 00:16:51,720
(fire crackling)
177
00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:56,558
(fire sprinklers spraying)
178
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,145
(Clouseau) Ah! Hello!
179
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:01,355
(water pouring)
180
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,983
Nice weather we're having.
181
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,943
(water pouring)
182
00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:11,115
I had hoped
we'd finally laid to rest
183
00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:14,451
your obsession with
Inspector Clouseau.
184
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:17,246
So had I, Doctor. So had I.
185
00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:22,251
And something has happened
to bring on this relapse?
186
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,420
No, not something.
187
00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,381
Someone. The one.
188
00:17:28,716 --> 00:17:30,843
No. No, perhaps you're right.
189
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:34,596
Something. He is a thing.
190
00:17:34,805 --> 00:17:38,350
- Clouseau?
- Yes! Clouseau!
191
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,353
And your compulsion
to kill Clouseau,
192
00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:42,813
is it also back?
193
00:17:43,022 --> 00:17:45,816
Oh, yes. Right back.
(laughing)
194
00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:49,862
The thought of a world without
Clouseau fills me with delight.
195
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:53,574
Like a-- like a summer
with a thousand Julys.
196
00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:57,453
It intoxicates
my soul with, with, uh...
197
00:17:57,661 --> 00:18:00,039
- Your eyes.
- What?
198
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:03,917
"Intoxicates my soul
with your eyes."
199
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:07,880
You've just lapsed into the lyrics
of "You Go to My Head".
200
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:12,468
- I did? I apologize.
- Never apologize for Cole Porter.
201
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:18,098
Besides, your subconscious has just
confirmed what we already know.
202
00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:22,186
- That Clouseau has got into my head.
- Precisely.
203
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:28,233
Now, how do you suppose
you are going to get him out of there?
204
00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:30,402
I don't know. I don't suppose.
205
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:33,822
You are supposed to suppose
and give me all the answers.
206
00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:37,910
Look, the commissioner wants him in Lugash.
Well, let the commissioner handle it!
207
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,579
I don't want to know.
I don't want to be there.
208
00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:43,916
I want to be here with you.
(whimpers)
209
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,466
What are you thinking, Doctor?
210
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,135
It wasn't Cole Porter.
211
00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:57,721
It was Gillespie and Coots.
212
00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,890
(whimpers)
213
00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:21,411
(lighter clicking)
214
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,710
(phone rings)
215
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,757
- Yes?
- The deputy commissioner to see you.
216
00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:37,427
The commissioner?
Send him in immediately.
217
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,474
Come in, Commissioner.
218
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:45,644
I want to discuss
the Pink Panther robbery.
219
00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:51,817
I am at your service, Commissioner.
Allow me to offer you a small cigar.
220
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:57,614
Swine cigars. Pay no attention
to them whatsoever. Let them just roll.
221
00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:00,284
Read this most carefully
and give me your opinion.
222
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:03,704
I will read my opinion
and give you yours most carefully.
223
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,290
Yes.
224
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:14,339
- Do you have a light?
- Yes, in the top left-hand drawer.
225
00:20:14,548 --> 00:20:15,799
(flames crackling)
Aagh!
226
00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:17,759
(fire sprinklers spraying)
227
00:20:22,598 --> 00:20:25,225
♪♪
228
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,647
Agh!
(dog barking)
229
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:32,983
Agh!
230
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,205
(rice pouring)
231
00:20:52,211 --> 00:20:53,962
(window rolling up)
232
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,875
(fruit falling)
233
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:09,079
Agh!
234
00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:37,065
(gate closes)
Agh!
235
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:40,986
(rice pouring)
236
00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:42,571
(fruit falling)
237
00:22:56,460 --> 00:22:58,211
(soft-shoe dancing)
238
00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:19,107
I'm dancing in the rice
239
00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:22,069
♪ Just dancing in the rice ♪
240
00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:26,573
♪ What a wonderful feeling ♪
241
00:23:27,366 --> 00:23:30,077
♪ I'm... happy in the rice ♪
242
00:23:31,036 --> 00:23:33,246
♪ Always happy... ♪
243
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:36,625
Oh, allow me.
(fabric ripping)
244
00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:44,716
(fruit falling)
245
00:23:48,178 --> 00:23:50,680
(pumping)
246
00:23:51,390 --> 00:23:52,516
(clears throat)
247
00:23:53,392 --> 00:23:55,811
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
248
00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:59,231
Clouseau just called. He wants
me to take him to the airport.
249
00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:00,524
Well, then take him.
250
00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:04,945
Let the president of Lugash worry
about his blood pressure for a while.
251
00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:07,906
- He's not going to Lugash.
- What?
252
00:24:08,115 --> 00:24:11,201
- He's booked on the 12:15 flight to London.
- To London?
253
00:24:11,410 --> 00:24:14,538
He suspects the Phantom to be
responsible for the robbery.
254
00:24:14,746 --> 00:24:17,290
And he said that since
Sir Charles lives in England...
255
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:22,421
- Sir Charles Litton lives in the South of France.
- Well, yes, sir. Shall I tell him?
256
00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:27,384
Don't bother.
He would just say "I know that."
257
00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:30,178
Trying to talk sense to Clouseau
258
00:24:30,387 --> 00:24:35,976
is like... like Einstein trying
to explain relativity to a "minkey".
259
00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:37,436
(machine explodes)
260
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,396
(engines rumbling)
261
00:25:05,464 --> 00:25:06,548
(blowing)
262
00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:13,513
(blowing)
263
00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:17,851
Does Sir Charles
know you're coming?
264
00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:22,189
No, I want it to
remain a surprise.
265
00:25:23,148 --> 00:25:26,401
- Merde.
- What's wrong?
266
00:25:26,610 --> 00:25:30,614
Your pop-out lighter
is refusing to pop out.
267
00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:35,494
Huh. It's supposed to pop out automatically
when it reaches a specific temperature.
268
00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:39,831
And what exactly is
this specific temperature?
269
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,333
I don't know.
270
00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:46,046
Well, you should have checked with the factory.
Because it is obvious that this pop-out lighter
271
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:52,719
has reached its specific pop-out
temperature and is refusing to pop out.
272
00:25:52,928 --> 00:25:56,306
The first rule for the car-owner:
know your automobile.
273
00:25:56,515 --> 00:25:59,976
- But it is your automobile.
- I know that!
274
00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:02,395
But it is not my
pop-out lighter.
275
00:26:02,604 --> 00:26:09,402
If it were my pop-out lighter, I would
know the specific pop-out temperature.
276
00:26:10,529 --> 00:26:11,363
(explosion)
277
00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:14,783
(engine sputtering)
278
00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:16,743
(explosions)
279
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,413
(blowing, coughing)
280
00:26:20,622 --> 00:26:23,291
Clouseau was trying to
fix the lighter.
281
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:26,002
He is sure that someone
planted a bomb in the car.
282
00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:30,257
Yes. Someone should have...
I mean, could have done that.
283
00:26:30,465 --> 00:26:34,302
He wired Scotland Yard
and said he was arriving in disguise.
284
00:26:34,511 --> 00:26:35,470
(Dreyfus) Disguise?
285
00:26:37,389 --> 00:26:39,683
(Man) What kind of disguise?
Disguised as what?
286
00:26:44,563 --> 00:26:46,856
He didn't say.
287
00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:50,360
How are we gonna tell
how to look for him?
288
00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:22,475
Grazie.
289
00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:30,293
(crutches rattling)
290
00:28:35,799 --> 00:28:38,259
Ladies and gentlemen,
This is your captain speaking.
291
00:28:38,468 --> 00:28:41,137
Please return to your seat
and fasten your seat belt
292
00:28:41,346 --> 00:28:43,890
as there is turbulence ahead.
Thank you.
293
00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:39,362
(indistinct mumbling)
294
00:29:46,244 --> 00:29:47,996
(crutches rattling)
295
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,631
(banging)
296
00:30:08,141 --> 00:30:09,559
- Whoa!
- (woman gasping)
297
00:30:26,326 --> 00:30:30,622
- Morning, sir. Good trip?
- Oh, yes, yes. Thank you, thank you.
298
00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:33,416
- Morning, madam.
- Hey!
299
00:30:37,337 --> 00:30:39,214
- Can I help you?
- Thank you.
300
00:30:39,422 --> 00:30:41,174
(crutches falling)
(people gasping)
301
00:30:53,394 --> 00:30:55,063
Idiot!
(thudding)
302
00:31:02,862 --> 00:31:05,907
Inspector Clouseau.
I'm Drummond from Scotland Yard.
303
00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:10,912
I am André Botot,
mustard salesman from Dijon.
304
00:31:13,623 --> 00:31:15,291
Oh...
305
00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:19,671
- Can I give you a lift, Monsieur Botot?
- That would be very kind of you, Mr Yard.
306
00:31:19,879 --> 00:31:22,715
- Drummond.
- Yes. How is Scotland these days?
307
00:31:22,924 --> 00:31:24,717
- Pardon?
- Scotland.
308
00:31:24,926 --> 00:31:29,180
I've some relations
who are from Scotland.
309
00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:33,643
My grandmother on my father's side.
I'm quite fluent in the Gaelic, you know.
310
00:31:33,852 --> 00:31:34,936
Rrrrrrrrrr.
311
00:31:35,144 --> 00:31:38,898
It is the night of braw bricht moons
on the night of gladess.
312
00:31:40,358 --> 00:31:41,276
Yes.
313
00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:46,114
Inspector McClaren,
this is Monsieur Botot...
314
00:31:46,322 --> 00:31:50,702
From Dijon. How do you do?
I was just telling Sergeant Yard
315
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:54,539
about my father-in-law's sister
on my sergeant's side, you know.
316
00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:56,124
Oh, yes.
317
00:31:58,543 --> 00:32:00,044
Go round the back.
318
00:32:01,838 --> 00:32:03,673
(engine turning over)
319
00:32:09,804 --> 00:32:11,556
(engine revving)
320
00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:14,058
(cast shattering)
321
00:32:14,267 --> 00:32:16,019
♪♪
322
00:32:19,772 --> 00:32:21,524
(seagulls cawing)
323
00:32:22,609 --> 00:32:24,652
Ah...
324
00:32:24,861 --> 00:32:29,157
At last. My own house.
My own swimming pool.
325
00:32:33,369 --> 00:32:37,832
My own 38-23-38.
326
00:32:38,041 --> 00:32:40,919
- Telegram.
- Read it to me.
327
00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:44,088
"Dear Chief Commissioner.
Happy birthday."
328
00:32:44,297 --> 00:32:48,426
"Hope you enjoy the
3,000 pounds of Jell-O."
329
00:32:49,385 --> 00:32:52,221
3,000 pounds of Jell-O?
330
00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:54,682
There must be some mistake.
331
00:32:54,891 --> 00:32:57,977
Where would I put
3,000 pounds of Jell-O?
332
00:33:00,021 --> 00:33:02,774
Besides, only Clouseau
would be stupid enough
333
00:33:02,982 --> 00:33:06,527
to send me
3,000 pounds of Jell-O.
334
00:33:09,614 --> 00:33:11,491
(splat)
335
00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:13,993
Argh!
336
00:33:14,202 --> 00:33:16,204
(phone rings)
337
00:33:21,501 --> 00:33:22,585
Hello, yes?
338
00:33:22,794 --> 00:33:23,920
- Argh!
- (Drummond) Hello.
339
00:33:24,128 --> 00:33:27,256
This is Inspector Drummond
of Scotland Yard.
340
00:33:27,465 --> 00:33:29,467
I know it's late.
I hope I didn't wake you up.
341
00:33:29,676 --> 00:33:32,929
No, no, it's quite all right.
As a matter of fact, you did me a favor.
342
00:33:33,137 --> 00:33:35,139
Who is it?
343
00:33:36,224 --> 00:33:41,229
- What can I do for you, Inspector?
- Well, it's about Inspector Clouseau.
344
00:33:41,437 --> 00:33:46,818
MI5 called and reported
that Libyan agents heard a rumor
345
00:33:47,026 --> 00:33:51,030
that there might be an assassination
attempt against Clouseau.
346
00:33:51,239 --> 00:33:54,534
Really? Who else
wants to kill him?
347
00:33:54,742 --> 00:33:57,453
I mean, who is behind it?
348
00:33:57,662 --> 00:34:02,166
We don't know. But it comes
from a reliable source.
349
00:34:02,375 --> 00:34:06,462
Now, we've told Clouseau
but he just laughed and said
350
00:34:08,256 --> 00:34:11,884
"The moving fingair writes."
351
00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:14,721
"Fingair." Mm.
(chuckling)
352
00:34:14,929 --> 00:34:17,223
When it's Clouseau,
he could mean anything.
353
00:34:17,432 --> 00:34:21,477
- Do you know what time it is?
- Will you shut up?!
354
00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:27,900
No, not you.
Tell me, where is he now?
355
00:34:28,109 --> 00:34:32,613
At his hotel. Now, I think you should
call him and order him back to Paris.
356
00:34:32,822 --> 00:34:35,241
Until we verify this rumor
one way or another,
357
00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:38,911
under no circumstances
allow him to go to Lugash.
358
00:34:51,090 --> 00:34:52,008
(bell dings)
359
00:34:53,718 --> 00:34:57,513
- Yes?
- Do you have for me the "massage"?
360
00:34:57,722 --> 00:34:59,223
Oh.
361
00:34:59,432 --> 00:35:02,643
- You want a massage, eh?
- If you have one for me, yes.
362
00:35:02,852 --> 00:35:05,688
Why don't you try Tokyo Lil
at the end of the block?
363
00:35:05,897 --> 00:35:11,069
Ask for Passionflower Shirley,
the Yokohama Butterfly.
364
00:35:11,277 --> 00:35:13,780
- And why should I do that?
- Well, you want a massage, don't you?
365
00:35:13,988 --> 00:35:16,824
Yes, but I want it from you.
366
00:35:17,033 --> 00:35:19,243
Sir, I don't give massages.
367
00:35:19,452 --> 00:35:22,080
- But you gave me one early this morning.
- Sir, you're mistaken.
368
00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:26,042
Look. Don't you try the tricks
anglais with me, monsieur.
369
00:35:26,250 --> 00:35:31,547
I received a "massage" this morning from
Inspector Quinlan of the Yard of Scotland.
370
00:35:31,756 --> 00:35:34,884
- The massage!
- And it was you that gave it to me.
371
00:35:35,093 --> 00:35:38,971
- Message. You mean message.
- What? Look, I know what I mean, you lunatic.
372
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:42,100
Now, do you or do you not
have for me the "massage"?
373
00:35:46,229 --> 00:35:50,525
No, sir. For you,
there is no massage.
374
00:35:52,443 --> 00:35:54,487
(phone rings)
375
00:35:58,074 --> 00:36:01,119
- Grouse-Moor Hotel. Reading?
- (Man) Inspector Clouseau.
376
00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:02,537
Oh.
377
00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:08,501
He just went up to his room.
I'll ring.
378
00:36:08,709 --> 00:36:09,669
(Man) Thank you.
379
00:36:14,048 --> 00:36:16,050
(phone rings)
380
00:36:25,226 --> 00:36:26,978
(phone continues ringing)
381
00:36:31,107 --> 00:36:35,653
- Yes. This is Chief Inspector Clouseau.
- (knocking)
382
00:36:35,862 --> 00:36:37,822
Turn your bed down, sir.
383
00:36:38,030 --> 00:36:40,825
(maid coughs)
384
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,535
- Agh!
- (Man) Inspector Clouseau?
385
00:36:51,711 --> 00:36:53,462
(maid coughs)
386
00:36:56,757 --> 00:37:00,303
(Man) Clouseau? Where are you?
Can you hear me?
387
00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:02,263
Clouseau!
388
00:37:03,055 --> 00:37:05,141
Yes? You were saying?
389
00:37:05,892 --> 00:37:07,935
(Clouseau) Agh!
390
00:37:14,025 --> 00:37:15,818
Aagh!
391
00:37:16,027 --> 00:37:18,321
(Man) Idiot!
Can you hear me?
392
00:37:18,529 --> 00:37:20,281
(Clouseau struggling)
393
00:37:21,699 --> 00:37:24,869
(Man) Where are you?
Clouseau?
394
00:37:28,873 --> 00:37:30,583
Clouseau?
395
00:37:32,627 --> 00:37:33,628
Clouseau?
396
00:37:33,836 --> 00:37:37,173
Now then.
What was that you were saying?
397
00:37:38,090 --> 00:37:39,133
(Clouseau) Aaagh!
398
00:37:39,342 --> 00:37:40,426
(phone cord ripping
out of wall)
399
00:37:40,635 --> 00:37:42,386
(crashing)
400
00:37:59,862 --> 00:38:01,906
Your massage!
401
00:38:02,823 --> 00:38:04,575
(telephone clattering)
402
00:38:04,992 --> 00:38:07,036
Your phone.
403
00:38:18,005 --> 00:38:21,092
To the airport, my good man,
and drive like the wind.
404
00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:22,593
Right, sir.
405
00:38:27,306 --> 00:38:29,016
(taxi revving)
406
00:38:33,396 --> 00:38:35,690
I knew that. I knew that.
407
00:38:36,857 --> 00:38:39,527
I've got a headache and I don't want
to hear another word about it.
408
00:38:39,735 --> 00:38:42,780
Then, don't involve yourself!
Every time you get mixed up with Clouseau...
409
00:38:42,989 --> 00:38:44,949
- That's enough!
- What do you think you're doing?
410
00:38:45,157 --> 00:38:47,034
- What does it look like I'm doing?
- You can't!
411
00:38:47,243 --> 00:38:50,288
I'm doing the same thing I've been
doing every morning for the last two years.
412
00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:53,749
- But you can't!
- And I'm sick and tired of you telling me
413
00:38:53,958 --> 00:38:57,920
- what I can do and what I can't.
- Suit yourself.
414
00:38:59,964 --> 00:39:01,007
(splat)
415
00:39:02,008 --> 00:39:05,428
I hope you like
the new pool cover you ordered.
416
00:39:05,636 --> 00:39:08,556
(Muslim call to prayer)
417
00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:12,727
- I think you made a mistake, Colonel.
- Wrong.
418
00:39:12,935 --> 00:39:17,815
And never call me Colonel, Colonel Bufoni. I
am now your president and I am infallible.
419
00:39:18,024 --> 00:39:20,151
It says so in the new constitution.
420
00:39:20,359 --> 00:39:22,778
Which you wrote yourself
when you were still a colonel.
421
00:39:22,987 --> 00:39:26,490
And you were a captain, Colonel, which
you could soon become again, you understand.
422
00:39:26,699 --> 00:39:31,203
Yes, Mr President.
It's just that sending for Clouseau...
423
00:39:31,412 --> 00:39:35,958
Was a stroke of genius. He found the Pink
Panther before, he will find it again.
424
00:39:36,167 --> 00:39:38,586
Possibly. And then?
425
00:39:38,794 --> 00:39:43,632
Then... the grateful people of Lugash
will shower me, President Haleesh,
426
00:39:43,841 --> 00:39:47,470
with praise and honor...
and their daughters.
427
00:39:47,678 --> 00:39:51,015
And the insurance companies,
428
00:39:51,223 --> 00:39:55,436
the ones which have already paid our
government's claim of 12 million dollars
429
00:39:55,644 --> 00:39:58,272
for the theft
of the Pink Panther,
430
00:39:58,481 --> 00:40:00,483
what will they shower you with?
431
00:40:00,691 --> 00:40:02,068
(hissing)
432
00:40:02,276 --> 00:40:05,112
Why didn't you mention this
before I sent for Clouseau?
433
00:40:05,321 --> 00:40:08,240
Because you didn't tell me till just now
that you'd requested assistance
434
00:40:08,449 --> 00:40:10,409
from somebody else's police force.
435
00:40:10,618 --> 00:40:14,830
- Maybe we can withdraw the request.
- Not "we", Mr President. "You."
436
00:40:15,039 --> 00:40:21,170
Only you can't. Clouseau's plane at this
very minute is winging its way to Lugash.
437
00:40:21,629 --> 00:40:27,218
Ah. Well, perhaps he won't
find the Pink Panther.
438
00:40:27,426 --> 00:40:29,553
Perhaps he won't reach Lugash.
439
00:40:29,762 --> 00:40:34,308
- Colonel, you wouldn't... Ah.
- To save my president.
440
00:40:34,517 --> 00:40:36,685
Do what you must, Colonel.
441
00:40:36,894 --> 00:40:38,896
Just don't tell me about it.
442
00:40:39,105 --> 00:40:43,192
A president's conscience
must be unblemished.
443
00:40:44,735 --> 00:40:48,030
You understand my meaning,
General?
444
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,908
As the hand
understands the glove.
445
00:40:51,117 --> 00:40:53,244
Oh, great one.
446
00:40:55,204 --> 00:40:57,415
(whimpering)
447
00:40:57,623 --> 00:41:01,043
(Doctor) Try to get control
of yourself, my friend.
448
00:41:01,252 --> 00:41:03,754
Giving in in this way
is not healthy.
449
00:41:04,463 --> 00:41:07,258
If I were healthy,
why would I be here, Doctor?
450
00:41:07,466 --> 00:41:10,553
I was referring
to your blood pressure.
451
00:41:10,761 --> 00:41:15,141
I see. He's such a maniac,
such an idiot, such a fool.
452
00:41:16,308 --> 00:41:18,519
And such a lucky fool.
453
00:41:18,727 --> 00:41:21,605
He would fall backwards
down a manhole
454
00:41:21,814 --> 00:41:25,067
and wind up
in the arms of Brooke Shields.
455
00:41:25,276 --> 00:41:28,279
And now London, half in ruins.
456
00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:31,031
And Lugash, a helpless little
desert country,
457
00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:34,869
- about to be devastated.
- You must get hold of yourself.
458
00:41:35,077 --> 00:41:36,704
Yes, I'm trying. I'm trying.
459
00:41:36,912 --> 00:41:39,874
You don't want to end up
at Happy Acres again.
460
00:41:40,082 --> 00:41:44,712
No. But, you see Doctor,
until Clouseau is out of my hair,
461
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,966
out of my life forever,
I'm doomed.
462
00:41:49,175 --> 00:41:51,260
I'll never smile again.
463
00:41:51,469 --> 00:41:56,432
Frank Sinatra with
the Pied Pipers and Tommy Dorsey.
464
00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:02,021
I'm falling apart and you go down
memory lane with your silly jazz!
465
00:42:02,229 --> 00:42:03,606
(phone rings)
466
00:42:03,814 --> 00:42:09,320
They know better than to interrupt me when I'm
with a patient, unless it is an emergency.
467
00:42:09,528 --> 00:42:11,280
- Allô?
- Emergency call for the inspector.
468
00:42:11,489 --> 00:42:12,656
Bon, attendez.
469
00:42:13,365 --> 00:42:19,079
It would seem the emergency
is not mine... but yours.
470
00:42:23,083 --> 00:42:25,085
Yes, Dreyfus.
471
00:42:25,294 --> 00:42:28,255
- I have terrible news for you.
- What?
472
00:42:28,464 --> 00:42:30,966
Inspector Clouseau's plane
is missing.
473
00:42:31,884 --> 00:42:35,471
- You are sure?
- Yes, positive. I'm sorry.
474
00:42:35,679 --> 00:42:37,640
- I'll be right there.
- OK, Inspector.
475
00:42:37,848 --> 00:42:39,016
Thank you.
476
00:42:39,225 --> 00:42:41,769
Doctor Longet... goodbye!
477
00:42:41,977 --> 00:42:43,729
(chuckling)
478
00:42:45,856 --> 00:42:48,108
You see before you a man reborn!
479
00:42:48,317 --> 00:42:51,570
Cured. Sane.
Sound as a Swiss franc.
480
00:42:51,779 --> 00:42:55,032
- The phone call was good news?
- Wonderful news.
481
00:42:55,241 --> 00:42:59,787
Clouseau's plane is overdue
and presumed lost, into the sea.
482
00:42:59,995 --> 00:43:02,289
Lost into the sea
and out of my life forever!
483
00:43:02,498 --> 00:43:05,501
I'm going to wash that man
right out of my hair.
484
00:43:05,709 --> 00:43:10,005
I know.
Mary Martin, South Pacific.
485
00:43:10,214 --> 00:43:10,923
(laughing)
486
00:43:11,465 --> 00:43:13,509
♪ I'm going to wash that man
right outta my hair ♪
487
00:43:13,884 --> 00:43:16,720
♪ I'm going to wash that man
right outta my hair ♪
488
00:43:16,929 --> 00:43:18,138
(laughing)
489
00:43:18,347 --> 00:43:19,390
Agh!
490
00:43:19,598 --> 00:43:21,267
(crashing)
491
00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:41,203
She's here. Come in.
492
00:43:46,834 --> 00:43:50,671
Listen, I think this is a mistake.
Tell her I'm out of town on a case.
493
00:43:50,879 --> 00:43:53,674
- Do you think that's wise?
- But do you think talking to her is wise?
494
00:43:53,882 --> 00:43:56,010
You were his immediate superior.
495
00:43:56,218 --> 00:44:00,264
"Were." You really
think he's... past tense?
496
00:44:00,472 --> 00:44:03,058
- Well, it certainly seems possible.
- Oh, it would be wonderful.
497
00:44:03,267 --> 00:44:06,604
And, uh, sooner or later,
a persistent reporter, like Marie Jouvet...
498
00:44:06,812 --> 00:44:09,273
But what can I say?
What can I tell her?
499
00:44:09,481 --> 00:44:11,609
- That I thought him an imbecile?
- No.
500
00:44:11,817 --> 00:44:14,778
That I thought he was the luckiest
man in the world with the brain of a--
501
00:44:14,987 --> 00:44:16,488
the brain of a retarded clam?
502
00:44:16,947 --> 00:44:18,824
- Of course not.
- Of course not.
503
00:44:19,033 --> 00:44:21,577
I mean, you know he was an idiot,
and I know he was an idiot,
504
00:44:21,785 --> 00:44:25,164
but to the rest of the world he was the greatest
detective since Sherlock Holmes.
505
00:44:25,372 --> 00:44:29,376
- If I tell the truth...
- Then don't. He's gone.
506
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:32,880
Give them the hero they want.
It's no skin off your nose.
507
00:44:33,088 --> 00:44:35,924
But is he gone?
Is he really?
508
00:44:36,133 --> 00:44:40,512
I've got this ghastly feeling that one
of these days - next week or tomorrow -
509
00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:45,100
I'll open the trunk of my car
or my closet and "Peekaboo!"
510
00:44:45,309 --> 00:44:48,687
But even so, I really don't
think you have a choice.
511
00:44:48,896 --> 00:44:52,858
What if I don't bring it off, hmm? You
know me where Clouseau is concerned.
512
00:44:53,067 --> 00:44:57,571
My emotions are just lurking
below the surface like a floating mine.
513
00:44:57,780 --> 00:45:00,574
- Oh, God. I can't do it.
- You can do it.
514
00:45:00,783 --> 00:45:03,619
I can do it? Yes, I can do it.
515
00:45:04,328 --> 00:45:05,704
No, you do it.
516
00:45:18,384 --> 00:45:19,718
Miss Jouvet.
517
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:24,932
Ah, Miss Jouvet.
How nice of you to come.
518
00:45:25,140 --> 00:45:28,686
Please, make yourself
comfortable. Pull up a clam.
519
00:45:29,770 --> 00:45:32,856
How would you describe
Inspector Clouseau?
520
00:45:33,065 --> 00:45:37,903
Well...
I've never known a man like him.
521
00:45:38,112 --> 00:45:41,240
He was... He was unique.
522
00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:45,244
- (Marie) Could you be more specific?
- (Dreyfus) I could be, but...
523
00:45:45,452 --> 00:45:48,956
Well, to start with, he was...
524
00:45:49,164 --> 00:45:50,791
unorthodox.
525
00:45:50,999 --> 00:45:54,878
- In what way?
- In every way.
526
00:45:55,087 --> 00:45:58,757
- Can you give me an example?
- An example.
527
00:45:58,966 --> 00:46:04,805
Yes. For instance, to keep himself
constantly alert to any attack,
528
00:46:05,013 --> 00:46:09,601
he instructed his Chinese
manservant to attack him
529
00:46:09,810 --> 00:46:11,979
wherever and whenever he could.
530
00:46:12,187 --> 00:46:15,023
That's not only unorthodox,
it's bizarre.
531
00:46:15,232 --> 00:46:17,860
- He sounds like a real nut.
- Shut up!
532
00:46:18,068 --> 00:46:21,321
There were rumours
that you and he didn't get along.
533
00:46:21,530 --> 00:46:23,407
Well...
534
00:46:23,615 --> 00:46:27,870
I suppose we occasionally
had our little disagreements,
535
00:46:28,078 --> 00:46:32,958
but, um, when you work
with somebody for 20 years
536
00:46:33,167 --> 00:46:36,754
you can't always
be expected to see...
537
00:46:36,962 --> 00:46:40,299
to see...
I mean, to see eye to eye.
538
00:46:41,258 --> 00:46:43,719
Then you think he was
a good detective?
539
00:46:45,262 --> 00:46:48,849
He was, um...
I think he was, um...
540
00:46:51,101 --> 00:46:53,645
You can't just say he was...
541
00:46:56,023 --> 00:46:59,818
There are no words
to describe what he really was.
542
00:47:00,027 --> 00:47:01,069
How about "genius"?
543
00:47:01,278 --> 00:47:03,030
(Dreyfus sniggers)
544
00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:06,867
That is a word.
545
00:47:07,075 --> 00:47:09,536
- Courageous?
- Courageous?
546
00:47:10,579 --> 00:47:12,456
Oh, courageous.
547
00:47:12,664 --> 00:47:15,417
The president twice
decorated him for bravery.
548
00:47:15,626 --> 00:47:16,627
Right.
549
00:47:16,835 --> 00:47:21,757
- That sounds like a courageous man to me.
- Yes, it certainly sounds that way, hmm?
550
00:47:21,965 --> 00:47:24,760
He was reputed to be
a great athlete.
551
00:47:24,968 --> 00:47:26,761
(Dreyfus sniggers)
552
00:47:26,762 --> 00:47:28,221
He, uh
553
00:47:28,222 --> 00:47:32,309
Oh, you have no idea
what an athlete he was.
554
00:47:32,518 --> 00:47:34,520
A karate black belt?
555
00:47:36,897 --> 00:47:41,985
- A black belt? Hmm?
- An expert marksman. A born leader.
556
00:47:44,071 --> 00:47:46,073
Inspector, I'm so sorry.
557
00:47:46,281 --> 00:47:49,535
Gee, he's crying.
558
00:47:52,746 --> 00:47:56,375
- (man) Hello?
- This is Bruno. I want a meeting. Right away.
559
00:47:56,583 --> 00:47:58,502
- Who with?
- Everybody.
560
00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:01,046
OK, boss.
561
00:48:01,421 --> 00:48:02,506
(fabric ripping)
562
00:48:03,257 --> 00:48:05,509
Aagh!
563
00:48:06,510 --> 00:48:08,554
Aaagh!
564
00:48:08,762 --> 00:48:10,514
(screaming)
565
00:48:15,352 --> 00:48:16,144
(objects clattering)
566
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,065
(shouting)
567
00:48:21,233 --> 00:48:22,943
(wind whistling)
568
00:48:23,944 --> 00:48:25,696
(wind whistling)
569
00:48:27,030 --> 00:48:28,782
(slow-motion screaming)
570
00:48:34,538 --> 00:48:36,248
(thudding, screaming)
571
00:48:41,545 --> 00:48:43,297
(glass shattering,
explosion)
572
00:48:44,423 --> 00:48:45,465
Aha!
573
00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:51,221
(weapons rattling)
574
00:48:52,139 --> 00:48:53,891
(glass shattering,
screaming)
575
00:48:56,226 --> 00:48:57,936
(crashing)
576
00:48:58,562 --> 00:48:59,897
(yelling)
577
00:49:10,616 --> 00:49:12,367
(crashing,
electricity crackling)
578
00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:17,581
(wood snapping)
579
00:49:19,166 --> 00:49:22,210
You mean it was part of your job
to attack him like that?
580
00:49:22,419 --> 00:49:23,545
Oh, yes.
581
00:49:24,296 --> 00:49:26,632
Well, Cato.
I'm back on the case.
582
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,842
Ah-ha!
583
00:49:31,887 --> 00:49:35,098
Now to set the trap,
catch the killer
584
00:49:36,099 --> 00:49:41,021
and prove to the world that
Maria Gambrelli is innocent... of murder.
585
00:49:42,856 --> 00:49:44,942
We're going to have to
accelerate our training program.
586
00:49:45,150 --> 00:49:47,778
You must learn to attack me whenever
and wherever I least expect it.
587
00:49:47,986 --> 00:49:49,905
And you--
you must give no quarter.
588
00:49:50,489 --> 00:49:55,035
- But didn't anyone ever get hurt?
- Oh, yes. Mostly me.
589
00:49:55,243 --> 00:49:59,247
There was one time, however,
when the Mafia imported a ninja.
590
00:50:00,874 --> 00:50:04,211
The inspector thought
the ninja was me.
591
00:50:13,178 --> 00:50:14,137
(wood breaking)
592
00:50:14,346 --> 00:50:15,806
(crashing)
593
00:50:16,014 --> 00:50:17,140
(glass shattering)
594
00:50:18,100 --> 00:50:19,101
(glass shattering)
595
00:50:19,393 --> 00:50:21,061
(crashing)
596
00:50:24,231 --> 00:50:27,693
- (Marie) Poor ninja.
- I know just how he felt.
597
00:50:27,901 --> 00:50:31,363
And now, with your boss gone,
no more sneak attacks.
598
00:50:31,571 --> 00:50:33,532
You must be very relieved.
599
00:50:33,740 --> 00:50:36,451
Well, not entirely.
600
00:50:37,077 --> 00:50:41,832
Sometimes, when you do something long
enough, you miss it even if it was painful.
601
00:50:42,791 --> 00:50:45,252
What do you think
happened to the inspector?
602
00:50:45,460 --> 00:50:47,921
- Beats me.
- (phone rings)
603
00:50:50,716 --> 00:50:53,218
- Inspector Clouseau's residence.
- (Duval) Marie Jouvet, please.
604
00:50:53,427 --> 00:50:55,345
One moment, please.
605
00:50:55,554 --> 00:50:56,847
It's for you.
606
00:50:59,099 --> 00:51:02,144
- Allô?
- This is Sergeant Duval speaking.
607
00:51:02,352 --> 00:51:04,396
I have that information for you.
608
00:51:05,063 --> 00:51:08,275
Clouseau's former assistant,
Hercule Lajoy,
609
00:51:08,483 --> 00:51:12,029
is living on a river barge
called The Moth.
610
00:51:12,237 --> 00:51:13,989
♪♪
611
00:51:27,294 --> 00:51:29,838
- Hello?
- Hello.
612
00:51:30,047 --> 00:51:33,258
- Hercule Lajoy?
- Who wants to know?
613
00:51:33,467 --> 00:51:37,721
- Marie Jouvet. I'm a television reporter.
- I know what you are.
614
00:51:37,929 --> 00:51:40,557
Can I come aboard?
I want to talk to you.
615
00:51:40,766 --> 00:51:42,976
- You want answers?
- Of course.
616
00:51:43,185 --> 00:51:46,605
How can I give you answers?
I am taking a nap.
617
00:51:46,813 --> 00:51:48,732
Well, I'll wait
until you wake up.
618
00:51:49,983 --> 00:51:52,027
All right.
619
00:52:02,204 --> 00:52:04,873
You're even better-looking
than you are on television.
620
00:52:05,290 --> 00:52:07,918
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
621
00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:13,215
I don't know why, but I have the distinct
impression that I was expected.
622
00:52:13,423 --> 00:52:16,051
Clouseau has disappeared.
You're a reporter.
623
00:52:16,259 --> 00:52:18,970
- Elementary.
- Spoken like a true policeman.
624
00:52:19,179 --> 00:52:21,014
A retired policeman.
625
00:52:21,223 --> 00:52:23,433
- May I sit?
- As you choose.
626
00:52:25,143 --> 00:52:26,895
You worked with Clouseau.
627
00:52:27,687 --> 00:52:29,689
Yes. He was unique.
628
00:52:29,898 --> 00:52:33,151
Intuitive?
A man who followed his hunches?
629
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,070
Who can tell
what Clouseau followed?
630
00:52:35,278 --> 00:52:38,240
All I know is he was the
most successful man in the force.
631
00:52:38,448 --> 00:52:44,704
Everything I thought made up a proper
investigation, he did the opposite.
632
00:52:45,163 --> 00:52:47,707
Facts, Hercule. Facts.
633
00:52:48,583 --> 00:52:50,877
Nothing matters but the facts.
634
00:52:51,086 --> 00:52:54,131
Without them, the science
of criminal investigation
635
00:52:54,339 --> 00:52:56,758
is nothing more
than a guessing game.
636
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,304
You listen to me, Hercule,
and you will learn something.
637
00:53:01,513 --> 00:53:02,347
Now, then...
638
00:53:02,556 --> 00:53:04,724
The facts in this case are:
639
00:53:04,933 --> 00:53:09,896
The body of the chauffeur was found
in the bedroom of the second maid. Fact!
640
00:53:10,355 --> 00:53:13,984
Cause of death:
Four bullets in the chest. Fact!
641
00:53:15,026 --> 00:53:21,158
The bullets were fired at close range
from a.25 caliber Beretta automatic. Fact!
642
00:53:21,366 --> 00:53:26,329
Maria Gambrelli was discovered
with the murder weapon in her hand. Fact!
643
00:53:26,538 --> 00:53:31,042
The murder weapon was registered in
the name of the deceased, Miguel Ostos,
644
00:53:31,251 --> 00:53:34,087
and was kept, mark you,
in the glove compartment
645
00:53:34,296 --> 00:53:37,382
of the Ballon Rolls-Royce.
Fact!
646
00:53:37,591 --> 00:53:42,262
Now, then. Members of the household staff
have testified that Miguel Ostos beat...
647
00:53:42,470 --> 00:53:44,222
(pointer snaps)
648
00:53:44,431 --> 00:53:46,600
Careful, you fool, you've
broken my pointing stick.
649
00:53:46,808 --> 00:53:48,351
I've got nothing
to point with now.
650
00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:55,859
Have-- have testified that-- that-- that
Miguel Ostos beat Maria Gambrelli frequently.
651
00:53:56,067 --> 00:54:00,197
And, now, finally comes this sworn statement
of Monsieur and Madame Ballon,
652
00:54:00,405 --> 00:54:05,535
as well as all the members of the staff,
each of them with perfect alibis.
653
00:54:07,537 --> 00:54:11,833
Now then, Hercule. What is the
inescapable conclusion?
654
00:54:12,959 --> 00:54:15,295
Maria Gambrelli
killed the chauffeur.
655
00:54:15,503 --> 00:54:19,174
What? You idiot! Impossible.
She's protecting someone.
656
00:54:19,382 --> 00:54:21,676
- How do you know that?
- Instinct!
657
00:54:21,885 --> 00:54:22,802
But the facts...
658
00:54:23,011 --> 00:54:25,931
You are forgetting
the most important fact - motive.
659
00:54:26,139 --> 00:54:28,266
- He beat her.
- He was Spanish.
660
00:54:28,475 --> 00:54:30,852
- He tore her dress off.
- Oh, don't be ridiculous!
661
00:54:31,061 --> 00:54:34,272
Would you kill somebody
who tore your dress off?
662
00:54:34,481 --> 00:54:37,400
- No, I suppose not.
- Of course not.
663
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:42,906
No, no. There is no doubt
in my mind whatsoever, Hercule.
664
00:54:43,281 --> 00:54:46,785
Maria Gambrelli is most definitely
protecting somebody.
665
00:54:46,993 --> 00:54:49,746
Find that somebody
and you have found the murderer.
666
00:54:50,121 --> 00:54:54,125
And, uh, I shall find the murderer
before the day is out.
667
00:54:54,918 --> 00:54:58,672
Maria Gambrelli will tell me
who he is. Oh, yes.
668
00:54:59,256 --> 00:55:02,842
Yet Clouseau was proved right.
Maria Gambrelli was innocent.
669
00:55:03,051 --> 00:55:06,805
Clouseau was always proved right
at the end of the case.
670
00:55:07,013 --> 00:55:10,934
But on the way even he
made a few miscalculations.
671
00:55:20,527 --> 00:55:22,570
(operatic singing)
672
00:55:28,868 --> 00:55:30,412
Agh!
673
00:55:30,620 --> 00:55:32,372
(splashing)
674
00:55:33,498 --> 00:55:36,918
(Marie) And now he is lost
in the sea.
675
00:55:37,127 --> 00:55:39,921
I admired his successes,
but his methods...
676
00:55:40,130 --> 00:55:44,301
They made a mockery of everything
I knew of police work, so I quit.
677
00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:48,263
But I have a good life.
I carry a few cargoes.
678
00:55:48,471 --> 00:55:53,310
I charter to a group of tourists in August
when it gets too hot to stay in Paris.
679
00:55:54,019 --> 00:55:58,148
Don't you miss it sometimes,
the-- the excitement?
680
00:55:58,356 --> 00:56:03,695
Young lady, if I missed the excitement
don't you think I would bait my hook?
681
00:56:06,614 --> 00:56:10,452
Thank you, Hercule Lajoy.
I like you.
682
00:56:10,660 --> 00:56:14,122
And I don't think you're nearly the
hard case you make yourself out to be.
683
00:56:14,331 --> 00:56:18,501
I like Hercule too, just because
he is the hard case he seems to be.
684
00:56:18,710 --> 00:56:22,297
But if you really want to get
to the bottom of this Clouseau thing,
685
00:56:22,505 --> 00:56:24,924
forget about us,
the ones on his side of the law.
686
00:56:25,133 --> 00:56:28,219
Dig up some of the crooks
he caught, or didn't catch.
687
00:56:31,222 --> 00:56:32,557
Goodbye.
688
00:56:34,851 --> 00:56:38,938
- Call again when you're in the neighborhood!
- Thank you. I may do that.
689
00:56:40,940 --> 00:56:43,568
They only show the top half
of you on television.
690
00:56:43,777 --> 00:56:47,530
- I'm glad the bottom is just as good.
- Me too.
691
00:57:02,629 --> 00:57:04,839
- How's business?
- Better.
692
00:57:05,048 --> 00:57:06,633
Pickin' up.
693
00:57:06,841 --> 00:57:09,594
Clouseau disappears.
Business gets better, huh?
694
00:57:09,803 --> 00:57:11,763
Sure thing, yeah.
695
00:57:11,971 --> 00:57:17,185
- This Marie Jouvet. She's snoopin' around.
- So what?
696
00:57:17,394 --> 00:57:21,314
Who knows? But I think
it's better we put a tail on her.
697
00:57:21,523 --> 00:57:25,318
Luis, she's no dummy.
You pick a couple of good boys, huh?
698
00:57:26,528 --> 00:57:27,570
Done.
699
00:57:33,159 --> 00:57:37,831
(man) Well, when I first met Inspector
Clouseau, about 20 years ago, in Cortina,
700
00:57:38,039 --> 00:57:39,916
I had a nasty ski accident
701
00:57:40,125 --> 00:57:44,587
and unfortunately Clouseau happened
to be staying at the same hotel.
702
00:57:44,796 --> 00:57:46,589
Ow!
703
00:57:47,924 --> 00:57:50,718
- Ow!
- Excuse me. My leg is caught.
704
00:57:51,302 --> 00:57:54,431
- You were married to Inspector Clouseau?
- Yes.
705
00:57:55,265 --> 00:57:58,059
Had you known Sir Charles
before Cortina?
706
00:57:58,268 --> 00:58:00,186
Only casually.
707
00:58:00,770 --> 00:58:03,440
I am willing to bet you
10,000 francs
708
00:58:03,648 --> 00:58:08,278
that the Phantom is in Cortina at this very
moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.
709
00:58:08,486 --> 00:58:11,030
How exciting.
What do you think, Mr Tucker?
710
00:58:11,239 --> 00:58:12,907
Oh, I agree with the inspector.
You see,
711
00:58:13,116 --> 00:58:16,286
ten of his last 15 victims have
been guests at Angela Dunning's parties.
712
00:58:16,494 --> 00:58:18,037
What are we all talking about?
713
00:58:19,038 --> 00:58:22,500
- The notorious Phantom.
- I'm afraid I've never heard of him.
714
00:58:22,709 --> 00:58:24,961
What little I've read about him,
he seems to be quite a fellow.
715
00:58:25,170 --> 00:58:28,506
Believe me, there are few thieves
who are as clever as the Phantom.
716
00:58:28,715 --> 00:58:33,303
Each theft is completely different
and unique, classic in its conception.
717
00:58:33,511 --> 00:58:36,764
But I thought you were working on the theory
that he does repeat himself.
718
00:58:36,973 --> 00:58:39,517
Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's
parties are concerned.
719
00:58:39,726 --> 00:58:42,103
However, there is
one other duplication,
720
00:58:42,312 --> 00:58:47,400
but that is his... trademark,
his calling card, so to speak.
721
00:58:47,609 --> 00:58:52,405
- He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.
- Sounds terribly theatrical.
722
00:58:52,614 --> 00:58:56,576
You know, Your Highness, if I were the Phantom,
I'd have chosen my victim already.
723
00:58:56,951 --> 00:58:59,287
Really? And who would that be?
724
00:58:59,496 --> 00:59:02,332
Well, who owns the most fabulous
diamond in the world?
725
00:59:02,540 --> 00:59:05,293
- I suppose I do.
- Exactly. The Pink Panther.
726
00:59:05,502 --> 00:59:06,753
Such a prize
he could never resist.
727
00:59:06,961 --> 00:59:08,171
He would be bound to try for it.
728
00:59:08,379 --> 00:59:11,841
I'm afraid he'd be disappointed.
The Pink Panther is in my safe at...
729
00:59:12,050 --> 00:59:14,636
Your Highness, please.
Don't say it, not here.
730
00:59:14,844 --> 00:59:17,222
If I'm not being too nosy,
Your Highness, I read somewhere
731
00:59:17,430 --> 00:59:20,183
that there was some dispute over
the ownership of the Pink Panther.
732
00:59:20,391 --> 00:59:23,520
It belongs to me.
It was a gift from my late father.
733
00:59:23,728 --> 00:59:26,523
- I shall never surrender it.
- Why should you?
734
00:59:26,731 --> 00:59:28,566
When the present government
seized power,
735
00:59:28,775 --> 00:59:31,444
they claimed the diamond was
the property of the people.
736
00:59:31,653 --> 00:59:35,323
There's even some talk of the
international court deciding the issue.
737
00:59:35,532 --> 00:59:37,200
I tell you what. Why don't I
steal the diamond,
738
00:59:37,408 --> 00:59:39,118
leave that old glove
or whatever it is behind,
739
00:59:39,327 --> 00:59:41,663
- and you and I can split the insurance?
- All right.
740
00:59:42,664 --> 00:59:45,124
I feel like dancing.
Your Highness?
741
00:59:45,333 --> 00:59:47,335
I'd love to.
742
00:59:48,628 --> 00:59:50,797
- How about you, madame?
- Yes, of course.
743
00:59:52,173 --> 00:59:55,009
- Your leg is better, Sir Charles?
- What?
744
00:59:55,218 --> 00:59:59,097
- I say your leg is better.
- Oh, yes. Much better. Thank you.
745
01:00:00,557 --> 01:00:03,309
You know, Mr Tucker... Argh!
746
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:06,938
That's my beer, old man.
747
01:00:07,814 --> 01:00:12,443
In May 1964 you divorced
Inspector Clouseau and a year later...
748
01:00:12,652 --> 01:00:14,696
I married the man of my dreams.
749
01:00:14,904 --> 01:00:17,198
- Who was that, darling?
- Oh, you know.
750
01:00:17,407 --> 01:00:20,577
That fellow Clouseau accused
of being the notorious Phantom.
751
01:00:20,785 --> 01:00:24,455
Oh, him. You have to forgive her.
She's not very good on names.
752
01:00:24,664 --> 01:00:28,293
- Anyway, he's terribly attractive.
- But she has impeccable taste.
753
01:00:28,668 --> 01:00:31,337
What made Inspector Clouseau
think you were the Phantom?
754
01:00:31,546 --> 01:00:33,006
An anonymous phone call.
755
01:00:33,214 --> 01:00:35,216
I see. Come up immediately.
756
01:00:35,425 --> 01:00:37,719
- Sir Charles. The Phantom.
- Sir Charles?
757
01:00:37,927 --> 01:00:39,053
I've really got him this time.
758
01:00:39,262 --> 01:00:40,638
(gunshot)
759
01:00:40,930 --> 01:00:43,433
- But of course he was wrong.
- About what?
760
01:00:43,725 --> 01:00:47,061
- About you being the Phantom.
- Of course. He was wrong.
761
01:00:47,270 --> 01:00:50,732
- Wrong, but persistent.
- Persistent he was.
762
01:00:50,940 --> 01:00:56,195
(Sir Charles) You see, he was convinced that
I was planning to steal the Pink Panther.
763
01:00:56,821 --> 01:01:00,575
And when Princess Dala gave
a costume ball at a villa in Rome,
764
01:01:00,783 --> 01:01:03,077
Clouseau was there with his men.
765
01:01:03,286 --> 01:01:06,539
- Warm.
- Yes, must be hell in there.
766
01:01:07,457 --> 01:01:09,500
Bet it's not so good in there.
767
01:01:10,668 --> 01:01:14,881
- Anything suspicious?
- No, no, no. Nothing to worry about.
768
01:01:15,089 --> 01:01:20,219
My men are everywhere. Mingling here,
mingling there, watching all the time. Watching.
769
01:01:25,767 --> 01:01:28,603
How dare you drink whilst on duty?
Who is inside there?
770
01:01:28,811 --> 01:01:30,772
- Sergeant Walter.
- Sergeant Coff.
771
01:01:30,980 --> 01:01:33,232
Any more behavior like this
and I'll have your stripes!
772
01:01:33,441 --> 01:01:37,028
- And the Pink Panther was stolen that night?
- By a gorilla.
773
01:01:37,236 --> 01:01:38,988
♪♪
774
01:01:46,704 --> 01:01:48,456
(car engine turning over)
775
01:01:50,541 --> 01:01:52,293
(car revving)
776
01:02:02,387 --> 01:02:04,138
Come back! It's me!
777
01:02:11,354 --> 01:02:13,106
(car revving)
778
01:02:29,789 --> 01:02:30,790
(Sir Charles) To my dying day,
779
01:02:30,998 --> 01:02:35,294
I'll never forget that old man
trying to cross the street.
780
01:02:35,503 --> 01:02:37,797
(tires squeal)
781
01:02:39,382 --> 01:02:41,217
(horn)
782
01:02:46,347 --> 01:02:48,182
(horn)
783
01:02:56,190 --> 01:02:58,025
(horn)
784
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:04,240
- (Clouseau) Come on, faster!
- (horn)
785
01:03:05,783 --> 01:03:08,953
What's the matter with you?
Can't you drive this thing faster?
786
01:03:11,956 --> 01:03:12,999
(horn)
787
01:03:18,087 --> 01:03:19,380
(tires squealing)
788
01:03:21,924 --> 01:03:24,886
(Clouseau) This is the road
they have gone up.
789
01:03:25,094 --> 01:03:26,721
(horn)
790
01:03:26,929 --> 01:03:30,266
Don't argue with me! I'm telling you
I know where they've gone.
791
01:03:32,435 --> 01:03:34,270
(horn)
792
01:03:39,525 --> 01:03:41,027
(horn)
793
01:03:42,612 --> 01:03:45,990
- Now, George, any idea how we get out of here?
- I don't know. I've been all over this place.
794
01:03:46,449 --> 01:03:48,284
I've been up this street,
up that one, up that one...
795
01:03:48,493 --> 01:03:51,287
- How are we gonna get out of here?
- Why don't you try the high road up there?
796
01:03:51,496 --> 01:03:54,332
Okay, I'll take the high road,
you take the low road. So long, Uncle Charles.
797
01:03:54,540 --> 01:03:55,500
Ciao, George.
798
01:04:02,256 --> 01:04:04,008
(clopping)
799
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:24,487
(horn)
800
01:04:28,157 --> 01:04:30,201
(Clouseau) Now, listen.
Who taught you to drive this thing?
801
01:04:41,587 --> 01:04:43,089
(engines rumbling)
802
01:04:43,297 --> 01:04:45,550
- I see them. That's them!
- No, it isn't.
803
01:04:45,758 --> 01:04:48,010
(tires screech)
804
01:04:48,219 --> 01:04:50,221
(crash)
805
01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:55,184
(continuous horn)
806
01:05:02,441 --> 01:05:04,318
And, believe it or not,
for a while,
807
01:05:04,527 --> 01:05:08,030
it looked as though Clouseau
himself was the Phantom.
808
01:05:08,239 --> 01:05:13,327
He was actually arrested for having stolen
the Pink Panther and sent to prison.
809
01:05:14,412 --> 01:05:17,331
Tucker. Tucker!
810
01:05:18,207 --> 01:05:21,794
- But he was innocent.
- Inept, but innocent.
811
01:05:22,003 --> 01:05:24,463
- Inept?
- Wouldn't you say so, darling?
812
01:05:24,672 --> 01:05:27,758
Oh, no. Not in everything, darling.
He was a terrific sleeper.
813
01:05:27,967 --> 01:05:30,303
- It's hard to believe.
- Oh, it's true.
814
01:05:30,511 --> 01:05:33,014
He almost never made a serious
mistake while he was sleeping.
815
01:05:33,222 --> 01:05:34,098
(laughing)
816
01:05:34,307 --> 01:05:36,767
I mean, inept!
France's greatest detective!
817
01:05:36,976 --> 01:05:39,145
It does test one's reality.
818
01:05:39,353 --> 01:05:41,397
- Do you think he's dead?
- I hope not.
819
01:05:41,606 --> 01:05:45,401
- What do you think, Sir Charles?
- No. Men like Clouseau never die.
820
01:05:45,610 --> 01:05:48,487
They're indestructible.
And that's the way it should be.
821
01:05:48,696 --> 01:05:51,157
- Why?
- Well, we need them.
822
01:05:51,365 --> 01:05:53,659
They help us preserve
our sense of humor.
823
01:05:53,868 --> 01:05:56,996
And they're living proof
that, however bad things get,
824
01:05:57,204 --> 01:06:01,751
if you persevere you survive
and sometimes even win.
825
01:06:01,959 --> 01:06:05,004
So you think determination
was the key to his success?
826
01:06:05,212 --> 01:06:07,089
No question about it.
827
01:06:07,298 --> 01:06:11,218
He was a fool but he epitomized
the 11th Commandment.
828
01:06:11,427 --> 01:06:14,847
- The 11th Commandment?
- "Thou shalt not give up."
829
01:06:15,056 --> 01:06:15,556
(Chuckling)
830
01:06:15,765 --> 01:06:18,976
- I like that.
- I thought you might.
831
01:06:23,147 --> 01:06:25,691
- Well, goodbye.
- Goodbye.
832
01:06:25,900 --> 01:06:28,653
- Come and see us again.
- I may do that.
833
01:06:28,861 --> 01:06:32,490
You know, the man of your dreams
is also a Machiavellian charmer.
834
01:06:32,698 --> 01:06:34,533
I know that. Thank you.
835
01:06:34,742 --> 01:06:35,451
Goodbye.
836
01:06:35,660 --> 01:06:37,119
- Bye.
- Bye.
837
01:06:40,748 --> 01:06:42,249
(car revving)
838
01:06:59,475 --> 01:07:02,395
- You've just passed the hotel.
- Yes, ma'am.
839
01:07:02,603 --> 01:07:06,732
- But that's where I wanted to go.
- You see that car following us?
840
01:07:07,650 --> 01:07:09,026
What about it?
841
01:07:09,235 --> 01:07:13,948
Well, the two men in that car suggested
I drop you off at another address.
842
01:07:14,156 --> 01:07:15,491
What are you talking about?
843
01:07:15,700 --> 01:07:18,744
Actually, it was more like
a threat than a suggestion.
844
01:07:18,953 --> 01:07:22,957
- They threatened you?
- One of them showed me his brand new gun.
845
01:07:25,042 --> 01:07:26,919
But who are they?
846
01:07:27,128 --> 01:07:32,216
I know you'll think I'm not on the ball,
but I neglected to get their names.
847
01:07:33,092 --> 01:07:35,678
- You realize this is kidnapping?
- Yeah.
848
01:07:35,886 --> 01:07:38,597
Well, I have to be
honest with you.
849
01:07:38,806 --> 01:07:41,517
I couldn't come up
with an alternative.
850
01:07:41,726 --> 01:07:44,020
You can go to prison for life
for kidnapping.
851
01:07:44,228 --> 01:07:47,732
Lady, the gun he showed me
was a.38 Magnum.
852
01:07:47,940 --> 01:07:49,984
I don't know anything
about guns.
853
01:07:50,192 --> 01:07:53,946
Yeah, well, that gun makes
enormous holes in things.
854
01:07:54,155 --> 01:07:58,117
I had a choice between kidnapping you
and getting shot with that gun.
855
01:07:58,325 --> 01:08:02,872
And to be perfectly frank,
I would look terrible and feel worse
856
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,124
with an enormous hole in me.
857
01:08:14,884 --> 01:08:17,636
(cars revving)
858
01:08:19,847 --> 01:08:22,558
(indistinct conversations)
859
01:08:22,767 --> 01:08:24,518
♪♪
860
01:08:39,366 --> 01:08:42,161
- Miss Jouvet, how nice of you to come.
- Did I have a choice?
861
01:08:42,369 --> 01:08:45,081
Actually, no. Let's go
where we can be private.
862
01:08:45,289 --> 01:08:48,709
- Do I have a choice?
- I just wanna have a little talk with you.
863
01:08:48,918 --> 01:08:51,545
- Watch your step.
- I always do.
864
01:08:54,632 --> 01:08:55,925
Why the B-movie
melodramatics?
865
01:08:56,133 --> 01:08:58,552
- You could have just picked up a telephone.
- Would you have come?
866
01:08:58,761 --> 01:09:01,555
To see the French godfather?
Come on, Bruno, I'm a reporter.
867
01:09:01,764 --> 01:09:04,892
And a terrific-lookin' one at that.
Take a swim.
868
01:09:07,728 --> 01:09:09,480
(splashing)
869
01:09:10,981 --> 01:09:14,235
Come on. Let's make
ourselves comfortable.
870
01:09:15,903 --> 01:09:19,323
- Have a seat.
- Can I have a drink?
871
01:09:19,532 --> 01:09:22,076
- Do I have a choice?
- Actually, no.
872
01:09:22,284 --> 01:09:26,664
- How about some champagne?
- Terrific. And put a fresh peach in it.
873
01:09:26,872 --> 01:09:28,958
You heard the lady. Some champagne
and put a peach in it.
874
01:09:29,166 --> 01:09:30,084
A peach?
875
01:09:30,292 --> 01:09:31,877
Yes, sir.
876
01:09:32,253 --> 01:09:36,382
- I never heard of a peach in champagne before.
- Very sexy.
877
01:09:36,590 --> 01:09:38,968
- Make that two.
- Yes, sir.
878
01:09:41,262 --> 01:09:45,724
- What happens if he doesn't have any peaches?
- Something very melodramatic.
879
01:09:45,933 --> 01:09:49,019
Well, if it gets to that,
I'll settle for plain champagne.
880
01:09:50,813 --> 01:09:55,776
You know, Marie, you really are
some kinda sensational lady.
881
01:09:56,610 --> 01:09:58,737
And you know, Bruno,
there is an old saying.
882
01:09:58,946 --> 01:10:01,866
- What's that?
- Never bullshit a bullshitter.
883
01:10:02,074 --> 01:10:02,950
(laughs)
884
01:10:03,159 --> 01:10:06,662
I want you to lay off
on this Clouseau thing.
885
01:10:07,788 --> 01:10:10,332
- Take off your glasses.
- What for?
886
01:10:10,541 --> 01:10:11,959
Then I can see
what you're thinking.
887
01:10:13,419 --> 01:10:14,962
I doubt that.
888
01:10:16,172 --> 01:10:20,301
- Why do you want me to lay off Clouseau?
- 'Cause I asked you to.
889
01:10:20,509 --> 01:10:23,429
- It's not a good enough reason.
- It should be.
890
01:10:23,637 --> 01:10:24,722
What if I don't?
891
01:10:26,557 --> 01:10:31,145
You know, Marie,
when I was your age,
892
01:10:31,353 --> 01:10:34,732
I used to sometimes wonder
what it would be like
893
01:10:34,940 --> 01:10:37,902
if I suddenly found
a whole lot of money.
894
01:10:38,110 --> 01:10:40,529
- Have you ever imagined something like that?
- Oh, yes.
895
01:10:41,488 --> 01:10:46,493
You know, I even imagined that some day someone
might try to bribe me with a small fortune.
896
01:10:46,702 --> 01:10:49,038
- Now, what did you do?
- I was tempted.
897
01:10:49,246 --> 01:10:52,124
- That's a good start.
- But I said no.
898
01:10:52,333 --> 01:10:54,376
- Not very bright.
- I'm a reporter.
899
01:10:54,585 --> 01:10:57,588
For better or for worse,
an honest one.
900
01:10:58,339 --> 01:11:00,799
Now, tell me why you want me
to lay off Clouseau.
901
01:11:01,008 --> 01:11:03,469
'Cause I prefer things
the way they are.
902
01:11:04,511 --> 01:11:06,639
Clouseau created
a lot of problems.
903
01:11:06,847 --> 01:11:10,017
A smart lady like you
could find out he's still alive.
904
01:11:10,392 --> 01:11:15,105
Or dead. I might even find out
that someone killed him.
905
01:11:17,524 --> 01:11:22,780
You've got a beautiful face. Why do you
want to stick it in where it doesn't belong?
906
01:11:22,988 --> 01:11:25,366
Because it's my job.
907
01:11:25,574 --> 01:11:29,828
What good's your job if you've gotta
do your TV show from a hospital bed?
908
01:11:32,665 --> 01:11:36,627
I knew you were going to threaten me,
but I didn't know how I was going to react.
909
01:11:36,835 --> 01:11:38,462
And you know something?
I've surprised myself.
910
01:11:38,671 --> 01:11:39,421
Is that right?
911
01:11:39,630 --> 01:11:42,299
Yes. Instead of scaring the wits out of me,
you have made me angry.
912
01:11:42,508 --> 01:11:44,969
In fact, I can't remember
when I've been so angry.
913
01:11:45,177 --> 01:11:49,265
I am a member of the press and I will not
be intimidated by you or by anybody else.
914
01:11:49,640 --> 01:11:50,307
(glass shattering)
915
01:11:50,516 --> 01:11:54,270
- Hey, now who's being melodramatic?
- You call this melodramatic? Wait till I get home!
916
01:11:54,478 --> 01:11:56,438
- What are you gonna do?
- Faint or throw up. Maybe both.
917
01:11:56,647 --> 01:11:58,315
I won't know till I get there.
918
01:11:58,524 --> 01:12:01,694
- Eight to five it's throw up.
- You've got a bet.
919
01:12:02,653 --> 01:12:04,697
Sir?
920
01:12:06,115 --> 01:12:08,867
- Gutsy lady.
- Yes, indeed, sir.
921
01:12:10,411 --> 01:12:13,580
- Great ass.
- I didn't notice, sir.
922
01:12:14,498 --> 01:12:16,583
Arthur, there's an old saying.
923
01:12:16,792 --> 01:12:20,170
- "Never bullshit a bullshitter."
- Yes, of course, sir.
924
01:12:20,379 --> 01:12:24,133
Yes, great arse indeed.
925
01:12:24,341 --> 01:12:26,343
(woman) Bruno?
926
01:12:27,094 --> 01:12:28,804
Can I get out now?
927
01:12:32,975 --> 01:12:34,184
Yeah.
928
01:12:35,060 --> 01:12:36,145
(splashing)
929
01:12:36,478 --> 01:12:39,648
I don't think she has
such a great ass.
930
01:12:42,776 --> 01:12:44,945
- What do you expect me to do?
- Arrest him.
931
01:12:45,154 --> 01:12:47,281
- On what charge?
- He threatened me. He had me kidnapped.
932
01:12:47,489 --> 01:12:49,450
- Can you prove it?
- Ask the taxi driver!
933
01:12:49,658 --> 01:12:51,827
You said it was the
taxi driver who kidnapped you.
934
01:12:52,036 --> 01:12:54,621
Bruno's men forced him to.
They had guns.
935
01:12:54,830 --> 01:12:58,500
- Did you see the guns? Miss Joulet.
- No, but the taxi driver told me...
936
01:12:58,709 --> 01:13:01,378
I'm perfectly certain that everything
you've told me is true.
937
01:13:01,587 --> 01:13:02,129
- But...
- But
938
01:13:02,338 --> 01:13:05,215
I'm equally certain that
Monsieur Langlois will deny it.
939
01:13:05,424 --> 01:13:06,467
Monsieur Langlois?
940
01:13:06,675 --> 01:13:10,012
- What it boils down to...
- What it boils down to is his word against mine.
941
01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:11,221
Exactly!
942
01:13:11,430 --> 01:13:15,809
And in certain circles, Monsieur Langlois'
word carries a lot of weight.
943
01:13:16,018 --> 01:13:18,187
You are upset
so I will ignore the innuendo.
944
01:13:18,395 --> 01:13:21,065
Upset or not, Inspector,
the innuendo stands.
945
01:13:21,273 --> 01:13:24,234
Miss Jouvet, may I suggest that
you go home and forget all about this.
946
01:13:25,694 --> 01:13:27,237
Excuse me.
947
01:13:27,446 --> 01:13:28,947
I shall tell you exactly
where I am going to go -
948
01:13:29,156 --> 01:13:30,699
I'm going to go
directly to my office,
949
01:13:30,908 --> 01:13:34,203
where I shall write my next broadcast
about the Mafia boss who kidnapped me
950
01:13:34,411 --> 01:13:37,790
and about the chief inspector of the Sûreté
who refused to do anything about it.
951
01:13:37,998 --> 01:13:41,001
In my opinion,
that would be most unwise.
952
01:13:41,210 --> 01:13:45,506
What it boils down to, Inspector, is,
I don't trust your opinion.
953
01:13:54,348 --> 01:13:56,058
(pumping)
954
01:13:57,851 --> 01:14:00,104
Miss Jouvet seemed a bit upset.
955
01:14:00,312 --> 01:14:03,148
Miss Jouvet is turning out
to be a real pain in the a...
956
01:14:03,357 --> 01:14:04,942
(explosion)
Aagh!
957
01:14:05,317 --> 01:14:08,362
So far the incident hasn't
even been investigated.
958
01:14:08,570 --> 01:14:11,657
And if Bruno Langlois is in the mood
to deny the allegation,
959
01:14:11,865 --> 01:14:14,410
I will be happy to repeat it
on the witness stand.
960
01:14:14,618 --> 01:14:17,996
- She's talking about you.
- Yes.
961
01:14:18,997 --> 01:14:20,416
Lot of guts.
962
01:14:22,126 --> 01:14:27,339
And I believe even the French godfather would
think twice about challenging me in court.
963
01:14:27,548 --> 01:14:30,551
As for Chief Inspector Dreyfus,
964
01:14:30,759 --> 01:14:34,763
if he really is the paragon of
police virtue that he purports to be,
965
01:14:34,972 --> 01:14:38,684
why hasn't he even bothered to find
the taxi driver and interrogate him?
966
01:14:38,892 --> 01:14:42,146
- She's talking about you.
- Yes.
967
01:14:42,563 --> 01:14:43,230
Aah!
968
01:14:43,939 --> 01:14:46,859
It's intriguing, but the more
I find out about Clouseau,
969
01:14:47,067 --> 01:14:52,239
the more certain interested parties
would prefer that I drop my investigation.
970
01:14:52,448 --> 01:14:55,576
So far, I haven't turned up
anything incriminating,
971
01:14:55,784 --> 01:15:00,038
but obviously I'm rocking the boat
and people are getting nervous.
972
01:15:00,247 --> 01:15:04,918
One thing's sure. I intend to keep on
rocking until I have an answer for you.
973
01:15:05,127 --> 01:15:06,128
Good night.
974
01:15:06,670 --> 01:15:08,088
♪♪
975
01:15:15,846 --> 01:15:17,931
(phone rings)
976
01:15:18,140 --> 01:15:20,517
Inspector Clouseau's residence.
Cato speaking.
977
01:15:20,726 --> 01:15:23,437
I've gone to Miami Beach
to spend Chinese New Year
978
01:15:23,645 --> 01:15:24,897
with my maternal grandmother.
979
01:15:25,105 --> 01:15:27,149
Leave a message after the bleep.
980
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:46,752
(doorbell ringing)
981
01:16:00,224 --> 01:16:02,267
Allô?
982
01:16:02,476 --> 01:16:04,228
♪♪
983
01:16:13,737 --> 01:16:15,781
Avon calling!
984
01:17:42,576 --> 01:17:44,620
(screams)
985
01:17:51,668 --> 01:17:52,544
(crashing)
986
01:17:57,591 --> 01:17:59,134
(yelling)
987
01:18:02,012 --> 01:18:03,764
(yelling)
988
01:18:04,765 --> 01:18:06,516
(crashing)
989
01:18:12,022 --> 01:18:13,774
(wood clattering)
990
01:18:19,237 --> 01:18:20,155
(metal scraping)
991
01:18:27,746 --> 01:18:29,623
(yelling)
992
01:18:29,831 --> 01:18:31,041
(Marie screaming)
993
01:18:31,249 --> 01:18:33,001
(objects breaking, yelling)
994
01:18:35,295 --> 01:18:37,047
(crashing)
995
01:18:43,303 --> 01:18:45,180
You!
996
01:18:46,390 --> 01:18:48,433
(groans)
997
01:18:50,727 --> 01:18:52,771
Regrettably.
998
01:18:53,814 --> 01:18:55,857
(phone rings)
999
01:18:59,319 --> 01:19:01,988
Inspector Clouseau's residence.
Cato speaking.
1000
01:19:02,197 --> 01:19:04,908
I've gone to Miami Beach to
spend Chinese New Year
1001
01:19:05,117 --> 01:19:06,368
with my maternal grandmother.
1002
01:19:06,576 --> 01:19:08,286
Leave a message after the bleep.
1003
01:19:08,495 --> 01:19:11,415
- I'm sorry.
- I'm used to it.
1004
01:19:11,623 --> 01:19:12,290
(bleep)
1005
01:19:12,499 --> 01:19:15,085
This is Professor
Auguste Balls of Paris.
1006
01:19:15,293 --> 01:19:17,170
You Oriental picaroon!
1007
01:19:17,379 --> 01:19:21,883
You can't fool me about a plane crash.
He is hiding to avoid payment.
1008
01:19:22,092 --> 01:19:26,179
Unless I receive 4,000 francs
by Friday, I'm suing.
1009
01:19:26,388 --> 01:19:30,726
And you can put that in your opium pipe
and smoke it, you conniving Cantonese!
1010
01:19:31,685 --> 01:19:34,396
Who the hell is
Professor Auguste Balls?
1011
01:19:34,604 --> 01:19:37,607
Inspector Clouseau's
official disguise-maker.
1012
01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:40,277
- What's a picaroon?
- A cheat.
1013
01:19:40,485 --> 01:19:43,405
- Oh, that's great.
- Being called a cheat?
1014
01:19:43,613 --> 01:19:45,699
Some of my best friends
are picaroons.
1015
01:19:45,907 --> 01:19:46,908
(chuckling)
1016
01:19:47,117 --> 01:19:51,538
- I'm sorry I broke in.
- That's OK. Keeps me in practice.
1017
01:19:51,747 --> 01:19:54,708
- Can I get you a cup of tea or something?
- No, thanks.
1018
01:19:54,916 --> 01:19:58,128
- I could use an aspirin.
- You see, I telephoned before.
1019
01:19:58,336 --> 01:20:01,798
And I really thought you'd gone
to visit your grandmother in Miami.
1020
01:20:02,007 --> 01:20:06,428
Miami Beach. She runs a bingo parlor.
She's a real picaroon.
1021
01:20:06,636 --> 01:20:07,804
(water pouring)
1022
01:20:08,847 --> 01:20:11,224
I thought maybe
I'd find something.
1023
01:20:15,103 --> 01:20:17,230
- Like what?
- Like this.
1024
01:20:17,439 --> 01:20:18,982
Oh, that!
1025
01:20:19,191 --> 01:20:23,111
- (Marie) Do you know who these people are?
- (Cato) His parents.
1026
01:20:23,320 --> 01:20:26,364
- (Marie) Are they still alive?
- (Cato) His father is.
1027
01:20:26,573 --> 01:20:29,117
He lives in the Château Clouseau
à Lamarque.
1028
01:20:29,326 --> 01:20:31,328
He's a winemaker.
1029
01:20:42,047 --> 01:20:44,508
Swine rabbit!
1030
01:20:45,342 --> 01:20:46,426
(groaning)
1031
01:20:56,311 --> 01:20:58,522
Mes chéries.
1032
01:20:58,730 --> 01:21:00,732
(giggling)
1033
01:21:06,321 --> 01:21:08,323
Beaujolais!
1034
01:21:17,666 --> 01:21:19,709
What are you doing?
1035
01:21:24,047 --> 01:21:26,633
Bon, bon, bon, bon.
1036
01:21:26,842 --> 01:21:29,678
- Au revoir, mes chéries.
- Au revoir, Papa.
1037
01:21:32,138 --> 01:21:36,476
It doesn't taste the same
since we lost Fifi.
1038
01:21:36,685 --> 01:21:38,770
I'm missing the great Fifi.
1039
01:21:38,979 --> 01:21:40,814
Fifi!
1040
01:21:41,648 --> 01:21:44,025
Could you tell me something
about your son?
1041
01:21:47,445 --> 01:21:50,574
No. After four o'clock,
1042
01:21:51,783 --> 01:21:55,620
I can't tell you anything
about my son.
1043
01:21:56,496 --> 01:22:02,294
- Why not after four o'clock?
- Because, after tasting the wine all day,
1044
01:22:02,794 --> 01:22:08,383
after four o'clock
I can't remember my son -
1045
01:22:08,592 --> 01:22:12,053
let alone tell you
anything about him.
1046
01:22:12,262 --> 01:22:18,768
It is a miracle that I remember
it is after four o'clock.
1047
01:22:28,111 --> 01:22:31,865
(laughs)
1048
01:22:33,742 --> 01:22:35,452
That felt good!
1049
01:22:35,660 --> 01:22:39,080
- Are you all right?
- Of course I am all right.
1050
01:22:39,289 --> 01:22:45,587
I was just checking that Nanna
vacuumed the rug.
1051
01:22:47,756 --> 01:22:49,758
Speaking of Nanna...
1052
01:22:49,966 --> 01:22:51,968
(whistling)
1053
01:22:55,972 --> 01:22:57,015
Fetch Nanna.
1054
01:23:02,812 --> 01:23:06,191
Nanna has been with me 61 years.
1055
01:23:06,399 --> 01:23:09,027
She was Jacques' nurse.
1056
01:23:09,235 --> 01:23:12,739
- Oh, really?
- What?
1057
01:23:12,948 --> 01:23:15,992
- I said "Really?"
- I know that.
1058
01:23:16,201 --> 01:23:18,995
Because you said Nanna
was your son's nurse.
1059
01:23:19,204 --> 01:23:23,249
Mademoiselle, you don't have
to repeat what I said.
1060
01:23:23,458 --> 01:23:25,835
I know what I said.
1061
01:23:26,044 --> 01:23:32,008
Fortunately I am not too old
to have lost my memory yet.
1062
01:23:32,217 --> 01:23:34,177
K-nock wood.
1063
01:23:34,719 --> 01:23:36,137
(knocking)
1064
01:23:38,682 --> 01:23:40,684
Come in!
1065
01:23:40,892 --> 01:23:42,894
(laughs)
1066
01:23:48,900 --> 01:23:51,486
What am I laughing about?
1067
01:23:51,695 --> 01:23:54,072
I'm not sure I can explain it.
1068
01:23:59,494 --> 01:24:01,788
(Clouseau Senior)
Nanna approaches.
1069
01:24:01,997 --> 01:24:03,039
(whistling)
1070
01:24:03,248 --> 01:24:05,208
Allez! Allez! Allez!
1071
01:24:05,417 --> 01:24:07,877
Apportez-moi Nanna.
1072
01:24:08,086 --> 01:24:08,837
(whistling)
1073
01:24:11,423 --> 01:24:13,425
Continuez.
1074
01:24:13,633 --> 01:24:16,011
Bon, bon, ça va bien.
1075
01:24:16,219 --> 01:24:18,054
A gauche! A gauche! A gauche!
1076
01:24:19,180 --> 01:24:19,806
(whistling)
1077
01:24:20,015 --> 01:24:21,516
A gauche! Gauche!
1078
01:24:21,725 --> 01:24:22,517
Sit.
1079
01:24:26,021 --> 01:24:26,646
(whistling)
1080
01:24:26,855 --> 01:24:29,315
Allez, à droite.
1081
01:24:29,524 --> 01:24:31,276
(whistling)
A droite.
1082
01:24:31,735 --> 01:24:32,819
(whistling)
1083
01:24:33,028 --> 01:24:35,030
A droite, dog.
1084
01:24:35,655 --> 01:24:37,699
En bas!
1085
01:24:40,410 --> 01:24:41,786
A gauche! A gauche!
1086
01:24:45,165 --> 01:24:46,541
(whistling)
1087
01:24:53,131 --> 01:24:54,174
(whistling)
1088
01:24:56,843 --> 01:24:58,887
Merci, Nanna.
1089
01:25:00,013 --> 01:25:01,056
(whistling)
1090
01:25:03,224 --> 01:25:04,225
En bas.
1091
01:25:08,438 --> 01:25:08,980
(whistling)
1092
01:25:09,189 --> 01:25:10,106
En bas.
1093
01:25:16,237 --> 01:25:18,281
- Santé.
- Santé.
1094
01:25:18,990 --> 01:25:20,200
(whistling)
1095
01:25:20,408 --> 01:25:21,076
(barking)
1096
01:25:31,419 --> 01:25:33,463
She loves that dog.
1097
01:25:34,297 --> 01:25:36,049
(clock chiming)
1098
01:25:51,106 --> 01:25:53,149
Assis.
1099
01:26:01,825 --> 01:26:03,535
Regardez.
1100
01:26:04,536 --> 01:26:06,579
Regardez, dog.
1101
01:26:07,413 --> 01:26:10,959
No, no, Nanna.
No, no, Nanna, no no.
1102
01:26:12,001 --> 01:26:13,670
(thumping, dog barking)
1103
01:26:14,462 --> 01:26:16,506
Fifi.
1104
01:26:18,633 --> 01:26:25,223
(Clouseau Senior) My son Jacques
Clouseau was born September 8th 1920.
1105
01:26:25,598 --> 01:26:30,603
He had his mother's eyes
and his father's kidneys.
1106
01:26:33,189 --> 01:26:34,941
(bell tolling,
Old West music playing)
1107
01:26:49,414 --> 01:26:51,166
(caps firing)
1108
01:26:53,418 --> 01:26:55,545
From the very beginning,
1109
01:26:55,753 --> 01:26:59,424
Jacques wanted to be
a policeman.
1110
01:26:59,632 --> 01:27:00,383
(blowing)
1111
01:27:06,431 --> 01:27:09,058
He had many setbacks,
1112
01:27:09,934 --> 01:27:13,188
but he was always resourceful.
1113
01:27:18,484 --> 01:27:22,530
He was 18 when he
entered the university
1114
01:27:22,739 --> 01:27:25,158
and fell in love.
1115
01:27:28,203 --> 01:27:31,706
The girl of his dreams
married another.
1116
01:27:34,375 --> 01:27:39,088
And Jacques decided
that life was not worth living.
1117
01:27:39,297 --> 01:27:41,049
(gas hissing)
1118
01:27:53,645 --> 01:27:54,520
(door shutting)
1119
01:27:59,609 --> 01:28:01,611
To whom it may concern.
1120
01:28:04,572 --> 01:28:07,533
I find life
no longer worth living.
1121
01:28:09,619 --> 01:28:12,121
- (Clouseau Senior) Fortunately,
- Oh, merde.
1122
01:28:12,330 --> 01:28:14,040
there was
a power failure.
1123
01:28:14,249 --> 01:28:15,625
Swine lights.
1124
01:28:16,334 --> 01:28:17,210
(match striking)
1125
01:28:17,669 --> 01:28:20,713
(explosion)
1126
01:28:24,884 --> 01:28:27,387
♪♪
1127
01:28:30,431 --> 01:28:34,185
When the Germans invaded France,
1128
01:28:34,394 --> 01:28:39,023
Jacques joined the underground.
1129
01:28:51,577 --> 01:28:53,329
(engines rumbling)
1130
01:29:53,139 --> 01:29:55,183
Swine plunger.
1131
01:30:00,980 --> 01:30:02,732
(explosions)
1132
01:30:05,610 --> 01:30:08,738
After the war, he joined
the police force
1133
01:30:08,946 --> 01:30:11,115
and the rest is history.
1134
01:30:11,324 --> 01:30:14,077
Well, thank you, Monsieur Clouseau.
It's been most interesting.
1135
01:30:14,285 --> 01:30:18,456
- It has?
- Yes. It helps to round out my tribute.
1136
01:30:18,664 --> 01:30:20,666
What do you mean?
1137
01:30:22,502 --> 01:30:26,005
Your tribute
doesn't need rounding.
1138
01:30:26,214 --> 01:30:28,716
You have a
great-looking tribute.
1139
01:30:28,925 --> 01:30:30,468
(chuckling)
1140
01:30:31,552 --> 01:30:34,972
- He's alive, you know.
- How do you know that?
1141
01:30:35,181 --> 01:30:39,102
He has his mother's eyes,
but his father's fortitude.
1142
01:30:39,310 --> 01:30:42,021
- I thought it was his kidneys.
- That too.
1143
01:30:42,230 --> 01:30:47,276
A man with such fortitude and kidneys
must be alive someplace.
1144
01:30:47,485 --> 01:30:49,904
- I hope so.
- I knew that.
1145
01:30:57,245 --> 01:30:59,497
- Well, goodbye.
- Au revoir.
1146
01:31:00,873 --> 01:31:03,376
(car revving)
1147
01:31:06,421 --> 01:31:09,382
And so, after leaving
that delightful old man,
1148
01:31:09,590 --> 01:31:12,885
who is so firmly convinced
that his famous son is still alive,
1149
01:31:13,094 --> 01:31:15,513
I began to wonder,
"Is it possible?"
1150
01:31:16,097 --> 01:31:18,808
Mafia boss Bruno Langlois
seems to think it is.
1151
01:31:19,016 --> 01:31:22,353
Sir Charles Litton feels
that such men are indispensable
1152
01:31:22,562 --> 01:31:24,522
and therefore indestructible.
1153
01:31:24,730 --> 01:31:28,443
And Chief Inspector Dreyfus
is so obsessed with the possibility
1154
01:31:28,651 --> 01:31:31,779
that he's on the verge
of another nervous breakdown.
1155
01:31:32,655 --> 01:31:36,576
Did Inspector Clouseau really
perish in the sea, as reported?
1156
01:31:37,034 --> 01:31:41,581
Or, for reasons as yet unknown,
is he out there someplace,
1157
01:31:41,789 --> 01:31:46,586
plotting his next move, waiting
to reveal himself when the time is right?
1158
01:31:46,794 --> 01:31:52,341
I am reluctant to believe that misfortune
has really struck down such a great man.
1159
01:31:52,550 --> 01:31:54,302
(seagull cawing)
1160
01:31:56,053 --> 01:31:57,013
(splat)
1161
01:31:57,805 --> 01:31:59,724
Swine seagull.
1162
01:31:59,932 --> 01:32:01,934
(Pink Panther theme)
1163
01:32:19,285 --> 01:32:22,413
We must find that woman.
1164
01:32:26,542 --> 01:32:27,668
Here's the report.
1165
01:32:28,127 --> 01:32:28,628
(thud)
1166
01:32:28,836 --> 01:32:32,507
I will apprehend this culprit
within 24 hours. Agh!
1167
01:32:32,715 --> 01:32:33,758
Ah!
1168
01:32:33,966 --> 01:32:36,594
Now we are getting somewhere.
1169
01:32:36,802 --> 01:32:37,970
You!
(smash)
1170
01:32:38,179 --> 01:32:39,430
(crashing)
1171
01:32:40,598 --> 01:32:42,725
(crashing)
1172
01:32:43,434 --> 01:32:47,063
- But that's a priceless Steinway.
- Not any more.
1173
01:32:48,022 --> 01:32:49,690
(Cato screaming)
1174
01:32:50,233 --> 01:32:51,984
(sawing)
1175
01:32:53,569 --> 01:32:55,613
Agh!
1176
01:32:55,821 --> 01:32:56,864
(crashing)
1177
01:32:57,156 --> 01:32:58,824
(Cato screaming)
1178
01:32:59,033 --> 01:33:01,869
(slow-motion screaming)
1179
01:33:07,833 --> 01:33:09,585
(wood and glass breaking)
1180
01:33:14,090 --> 01:33:15,841
(Cato screaming)
1181
01:33:16,175 --> 01:33:18,219
(phone rings)
1182
01:33:18,427 --> 01:33:20,388
Inspector Clouseau's residence.
1183
01:33:20,596 --> 01:33:23,266
- (Man) Clouseau.
- One moment, please.
1184
01:33:23,975 --> 01:33:25,142
For you.
1185
01:33:32,775 --> 01:33:33,401
(yelling)
1186
01:33:33,609 --> 01:33:35,361
(crashing)
1187
01:33:38,698 --> 01:33:40,157
(thudding)
1188
01:33:43,786 --> 01:33:44,787
(door slamming)
1189
01:33:44,996 --> 01:33:47,665
He's Sir Charles Phantom,
the notorious Litton.
1190
01:33:47,873 --> 01:33:50,585
- The Phantom?
- Yes. One and the same.
1191
01:33:51,085 --> 01:33:52,712
My greedy little yellow pimp.
1192
01:33:52,920 --> 01:33:53,879
(thunk)
Ow!
1193
01:33:54,088 --> 01:33:58,509
There is something that I am
very interested to know. It's rumoured...
1194
01:34:00,469 --> 01:34:01,637
(splashing)
1195
01:34:05,266 --> 01:34:06,934
(groaning, splashing)
1196
01:34:07,435 --> 01:34:08,894
(siren)
1197
01:34:09,645 --> 01:34:10,855
(screaming)
1198
01:34:11,564 --> 01:34:12,440
(splashing)
1199
01:34:14,317 --> 01:34:15,526
Back to town.
1200
01:34:15,735 --> 01:34:17,486
(engine revving)
1201
01:34:19,947 --> 01:34:21,365
Follow that car.
1202
01:34:35,463 --> 01:34:37,298
Does your dog bite?
1203
01:34:39,133 --> 01:34:40,217
No.
1204
01:34:42,887 --> 01:34:44,180
Nice doggy.
1205
01:34:44,764 --> 01:34:46,515
(growling, barking)
1206
01:34:47,558 --> 01:34:49,935
I thought you said
your dog did not bite.
1207
01:34:50,478 --> 01:34:52,563
That is not my dog.
1208
01:34:55,441 --> 01:34:56,525
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
1209
01:34:56,734 --> 01:34:58,027
Do you know the way
to the Palace Hotel?
1210
01:34:58,235 --> 01:34:58,944
Yes.
1211
01:35:00,821 --> 01:35:04,950
Special delivery. A beum.
Were you expecting one?
1212
01:35:05,785 --> 01:35:07,286
A beum?!
1213
01:35:08,162 --> 01:35:09,246
(screaming)
1214
01:35:09,997 --> 01:35:11,165
(yelling)
1215
01:35:11,374 --> 01:35:12,708
(explosions)
1216
01:35:12,917 --> 01:35:14,460
(explosion)
1217
01:35:14,669 --> 01:35:16,045
(crashing, explosion)
1218
01:35:16,253 --> 01:35:18,005
(explosion)
1219
01:35:18,214 --> 01:35:19,090
(explosion)
1220
01:35:19,298 --> 01:35:21,050
(explosion)
1221
01:35:22,259 --> 01:35:25,137
You fool!
You raving Oriental idiot!
1222
01:35:25,346 --> 01:35:29,058
There is a time and a place
for everything, Cato.
1223
01:35:29,266 --> 01:35:31,185
And this is it.
1224
01:35:31,644 --> 01:35:33,145
(yelling)
1225
01:35:35,940 --> 01:35:37,692
(crashing)
1226
01:35:40,861 --> 01:35:42,154
And another thing!
1227
01:35:42,363 --> 01:35:43,989
(glass shattering)
1228
01:35:44,198 --> 01:35:48,119
I was known as
the Pavlova of the parallels.
1229
01:35:48,786 --> 01:35:50,246
Oh, yes.
1230
01:35:52,915 --> 01:35:55,459
Yes, it's all coming back now.
1231
01:35:55,751 --> 01:35:58,546
Ah, yes, I remember it...
1232
01:35:58,754 --> 01:35:59,964
Aagh!
1233
01:36:00,172 --> 01:36:01,924
(crashing)
1234
01:36:07,596 --> 01:36:10,599
Well, that felt good.
90977
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