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1
00:00:16,436 --> 00:00:17,468
Hey, hon, come on.
2
00:00:17,537 --> 00:00:18,737
It's almost 8:00. My show's on.
3
00:00:18,805 --> 00:00:21,974
Un-un-uh, there'll be
no boob tube tonight.
4
00:00:22,042 --> 00:00:23,174
Wow, Battleship.
5
00:00:23,241 --> 00:00:24,376
Where'd you dig this out from?
6
00:00:24,444 --> 00:00:25,577
Well, I was in the attic
7
00:00:25,644 --> 00:00:26,678
looking for Twister,
8
00:00:26,745 --> 00:00:28,379
which I was hoping we
could play naked...
9
00:00:29,949 --> 00:00:32,248
and I stumbled upon this,
10
00:00:32,316 --> 00:00:34,250
which we could also play naked.
11
00:00:35,287 --> 00:00:37,321
Um, don't think I
wanna play naked.
12
00:00:37,389 --> 00:00:39,356
How about no shirts?
13
00:00:42,059 --> 00:00:43,760
OK, fair enough.
14
00:00:43,828 --> 00:00:44,895
Let's get cracking. Come on.
15
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:46,096
All right, well,
I gotta warn ya,
16
00:00:46,164 --> 00:00:47,230
I used to rock at this game.
17
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,865
Yeah, you better pack a
swimsuit, sweetheart.
18
00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:49,933
You're going down.
19
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,301
Yeah, OK, bring it.
20
00:00:52,369 --> 00:00:53,469
All right, it's all you.
21
00:00:53,537 --> 00:00:54,502
All right, here we go.
22
00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:55,571
B-5.
23
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,473
Miss. C-7.
24
00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:59,441
Miss. E-2.
25
00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:01,244
Miss.
26
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:02,344
E-7.
27
00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:04,512
Miss. E-2.
28
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:08,449
Miss. A-9.
29
00:01:08,517 --> 00:01:10,752
Miss. F-1.
30
00:01:12,355 --> 00:01:13,521
Miss.
31
00:01:16,725 --> 00:01:17,691
TV now.
32
00:01:17,759 --> 00:01:18,859
Yeah.
33
00:02:02,598 --> 00:02:04,199
Excuse me.
34
00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:06,869
Where's your Raymond
Burr section?
35
00:02:06,936 --> 00:02:08,637
Um, we don't have one.
36
00:02:08,705 --> 00:02:11,207
Uh, what's the title of the
movie you're looking for?
37
00:02:11,274 --> 00:02:12,341
I'm not sure,
38
00:02:12,408 --> 00:02:14,877
but there's a wonderful
scene on an airplane,
39
00:02:14,945 --> 00:02:18,446
and early in the picture,
the hero mails a letter.
40
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,850
It was about, uh, yea big.
41
00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:23,584
And it was with Raymond Burr?
42
00:02:23,652 --> 00:02:25,553
Possibly.
43
00:02:27,289 --> 00:02:29,691
OK, I got 7 excellent choices.
44
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,491
You pick any one you want.
45
00:02:31,559 --> 00:02:35,494
OK, more than half of
these involve Chucky.
46
00:02:35,562 --> 00:02:37,963
I'll take that as a polite pass.
47
00:02:38,031 --> 00:02:39,899
OK, and no, no, and no.
48
00:02:39,966 --> 00:02:42,234
Come on, these are all
stupid guy movies.
49
00:02:42,302 --> 00:02:44,436
Uh, I think you owe an apology
50
00:02:44,504 --> 00:02:47,006
to miss Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.
51
00:02:47,074 --> 00:02:49,341
No, I saw the trailer.
It looks stupid.
52
00:02:49,409 --> 00:02:52,610
Hmm, sounds like someone
wishes she were raiding tombs.
53
00:02:52,678 --> 00:02:54,713
Doug, tonight, I want
to see a romantic movie
54
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,614
about 2 people who fall in love.
55
00:02:56,682 --> 00:02:59,217
Well, then how about
Lethal Weapon?
56
00:02:59,284 --> 00:03:00,752
What, these guys
weren't in love?
57
00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:02,754
All right, Doug, put 'em back.
Come on, Carrie.
58
00:03:02,822 --> 00:03:04,789
It's not happening. Let it go.
59
00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:06,023
Well, I found our picture,
60
00:03:06,091 --> 00:03:08,425
Raymond Burr in
Destination: Istanbul.
61
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:09,492
No, Dad, tonight, I wanna...
62
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:10,793
According to Leonard Maltin,
63
00:03:10,861 --> 00:03:12,729
it's Burr's finest role!
64
00:03:12,796 --> 00:03:14,098
Fine.
65
00:03:31,447 --> 00:03:33,915
Hey, Deac, you ever
have the whole backside
66
00:03:33,983 --> 00:03:38,386
of both thighs go
completely numb?
67
00:03:38,453 --> 00:03:39,955
No.
68
00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:41,155
Huh.
69
00:03:43,158 --> 00:03:44,291
I wouldn't worry about it
70
00:03:44,359 --> 00:03:45,993
unless it's happening a lot.
71
00:03:46,027 --> 00:03:47,228
No, no, no, no, no.
72
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,597
What would you consider a lot?
73
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:52,699
Shh, shh, shh!
74
00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:53,733
Hey, we're talking here.
75
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:54,802
I wanna hear this.
I wanna hear this.
76
00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:57,504
Man: Deep in the
forest of no trees,
77
00:03:57,572 --> 00:04:00,772
on the first day of
the eternal equinox,
78
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,610
a child is born who
will ask the question
79
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:08,214
that will change the course
of Grünian history forever.
80
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,882
Child: Why must we
live in darkness?
81
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,451
Man: The Warriors of
Grün, Chapter One,
82
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,087
opens next Friday at
a theater near you.
83
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:17,688
Oh, my God!
84
00:04:17,756 --> 00:04:19,257
We are so there!
85
00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:25,396
Couldn't be more not there.
86
00:04:25,463 --> 00:04:28,299
You never read the
Trilogy of Grün?
87
00:04:28,366 --> 00:04:29,600
It's a... It's a classic.
88
00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:33,002
It's been translated into,
like, 50 different languages.
89
00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:36,006
He was doing so well.
90
00:04:36,073 --> 00:04:36,973
He has a girlfriend,
91
00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:38,073
started dressing better,
92
00:04:38,142 --> 00:04:40,444
and now this.
93
00:04:40,511 --> 00:04:41,844
This movie's gonna be huge,
94
00:04:41,979 --> 00:04:43,512
and I'm gonna be
at the first show
95
00:04:43,579 --> 00:04:45,614
if I have to camp
out for a week.
96
00:04:45,681 --> 00:04:49,118
Have you ever actually
met this girlfriend?
97
00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:52,054
Hey, guys.
98
00:04:52,122 --> 00:04:53,923
Hey! Hey! Honey...
99
00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:55,925
would you do me a favor
and unload these for me?
100
00:04:55,992 --> 00:04:57,025
I'm gonna go change.
101
00:04:57,092 --> 00:04:58,259
What'd you get for dinner?
102
00:04:58,327 --> 00:05:00,161
Uh, some salad fixin's
103
00:05:00,229 --> 00:05:01,662
and a nice piece of halibut.
104
00:05:01,730 --> 00:05:02,730
Halibut?
105
00:05:02,798 --> 00:05:04,532
Yeah, my dad wanted it.
It's good.
106
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,037
Yeah, it's the ocean's
answer to pork chops.
107
00:05:09,104 --> 00:05:10,471
This is so annoying.
108
00:05:10,538 --> 00:05:11,705
What?
109
00:05:11,772 --> 00:05:14,408
Carrie doesn't listen
to me about anything.
110
00:05:14,476 --> 00:05:16,242
This morning, I told her 5
things I wanted for dinner,
111
00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:18,577
but Arthur wanted halibut,
bam, we get halibut,
112
00:05:18,645 --> 00:05:21,147
and then last night, I wanted
to rent Lethal Weapon,
113
00:05:21,215 --> 00:05:23,316
but no, Arthur wanted
to get something else.
114
00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:25,684
So we gotta spend 2 hours
watching some fat guy
115
00:05:25,752 --> 00:05:27,486
chasing his own
letter to Istanbul.
116
00:05:27,554 --> 00:05:29,821
It's so unfair.
117
00:05:29,889 --> 00:05:32,157
You sound like my kid.
118
00:05:32,225 --> 00:05:33,691
What do you mean?
119
00:05:33,759 --> 00:05:34,927
Well, he always complains
that his little brother
120
00:05:34,995 --> 00:05:36,461
gets his own way all the time,
121
00:05:36,528 --> 00:05:37,929
so you know what
he started doing?
122
00:05:37,997 --> 00:05:39,063
He started tricking
the little guy
123
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,232
into asking for the
stuff he really wants.
124
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,133
Now I got a 4-year-old
hitting me up
125
00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:45,002
for a Victoria's
Secret calendar.
126
00:05:51,743 --> 00:05:53,177
Arthur!
127
00:06:01,552 --> 00:06:02,552
Hello, Douglas.
128
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:04,721
King Arthur, how goes it?
129
00:06:04,787 --> 00:06:06,356
Did Carrie get me my fish?
130
00:06:06,424 --> 00:06:07,523
Uh, yeah, I think so.
131
00:06:07,591 --> 00:06:10,293
Ah, halibut, very healthy
for the prostate.
132
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,128
If I had one, it would be
lubed to a fare-thee-well.
133
00:06:14,797 --> 00:06:16,264
Yeah.
134
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,898
Uh, you know, you
haven't told me
135
00:06:17,966 --> 00:06:19,834
any of your World War II
stories in a long time.
136
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,069
You were over in Italy, right?
137
00:06:21,137 --> 00:06:22,904
Uh-huh.
138
00:06:22,972 --> 00:06:26,140
I actually have a photo taken
of myself with Mussolini.
139
00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:28,942
He's upside down, of course.
140
00:06:29,009 --> 00:06:30,111
Oh, yeah.
141
00:06:30,179 --> 00:06:31,445
That must have been
pretty wild, though, huh?
142
00:06:31,512 --> 00:06:32,946
I mean, gosh, being over there,
143
00:06:33,013 --> 00:06:35,949
all the history, the art...
144
00:06:36,017 --> 00:06:37,784
the pizza.
145
00:06:37,851 --> 00:06:40,319
The hookers weren't
too shabby, either.
146
00:06:41,854 --> 00:06:43,956
I bet you they
weren't too shabby,
147
00:06:44,024 --> 00:06:45,958
now, but back to the pizza.
148
00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:48,693
Actually, I remember the
night before our assault
149
00:06:48,761 --> 00:06:50,929
on the German stronghold
in Montecasino.
150
00:06:50,997 --> 00:06:53,331
We were just expecting
our usual K rations,
151
00:06:53,399 --> 00:06:55,266
but then this little
baker showed up
152
00:06:55,301 --> 00:06:58,603
with a wagon full of
freshly baked pizza pies.
153
00:06:58,671 --> 00:07:01,139
Mmm, I bet you they
tasted pretty good, huh?
154
00:07:01,207 --> 00:07:02,573
Oh, did they ever.
155
00:07:02,641 --> 00:07:06,343
When I bit into that warm,
crispy slice of heaven,
156
00:07:06,411 --> 00:07:07,978
it was like...
157
00:07:08,045 --> 00:07:10,982
Like all the misery
and horror of war
158
00:07:11,049 --> 00:07:13,151
just suddenly disappeared?
159
00:07:13,219 --> 00:07:15,285
Yes.
160
00:07:15,353 --> 00:07:16,653
Hi, Dad.
161
00:07:17,922 --> 00:07:19,322
I want pizza!
162
00:07:22,725 --> 00:07:25,194
It's OK with me. I don't care.
163
00:07:37,307 --> 00:07:38,706
I want cheese steaks!
164
00:07:47,449 --> 00:07:50,151
I want to try the new Chinese
place down the block!
165
00:07:54,522 --> 00:07:56,422
I want Bose speakers in our car!
166
00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:04,497
I want fried chicken...
167
00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,601
and waffles.
168
00:08:17,143 --> 00:08:19,177
I wanna watch Crank Yankers!
169
00:08:30,188 --> 00:08:32,557
Oh, yeah.
170
00:08:32,624 --> 00:08:34,024
Warriors of Grün, huh?
171
00:08:34,092 --> 00:08:36,026
3 days and counting, am I right?
172
00:08:36,094 --> 00:08:37,194
Yeah.
173
00:08:39,197 --> 00:08:40,564
Is this the line?
174
00:08:40,631 --> 00:08:43,700
No, that's the line for the movie
that starts in 10 minutes.
175
00:08:43,767 --> 00:08:46,402
So I'm... I'm first in line?
176
00:08:46,469 --> 00:08:48,037
Oh, sweet!
177
00:08:58,248 --> 00:09:01,049
Hello, Dark Lord of Grün.
178
00:09:01,116 --> 00:09:03,918
Your faithful servant is first.
179
00:09:14,696 --> 00:09:16,162
Hey.
180
00:09:16,230 --> 00:09:18,766
Darling, question for you.
181
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:21,768
Do you find me
sexually attractive?
182
00:09:31,311 --> 00:09:35,013
Well, Dad.
183
00:09:35,081 --> 00:09:36,848
Yes, I know you're my daughter.
184
00:09:36,915 --> 00:09:39,150
Can't you put that
aside for one moment
185
00:09:39,218 --> 00:09:41,018
and answer a simple question,
186
00:09:41,086 --> 00:09:42,987
am I sexy?
187
00:09:43,055 --> 00:09:44,622
No, I can't!
188
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:46,424
Why are we even
talking about this?
189
00:09:46,492 --> 00:09:48,326
Well, usually, when I go
to the Senior Center,
190
00:09:48,394 --> 00:09:50,395
I get quite a few admiring
glances from the ladies,
191
00:09:50,463 --> 00:09:51,928
but today, zippo.
192
00:09:51,996 --> 00:09:54,298
Even in the pale
blue sweat suit?
193
00:09:54,365 --> 00:09:56,933
I was surprised, too.
194
00:09:57,001 --> 00:09:58,268
So just tell me.
195
00:09:58,335 --> 00:09:59,970
Have I gotten heavier?
196
00:10:00,036 --> 00:10:01,238
You look fine.
197
00:10:01,306 --> 00:10:02,672
No, I put on weight.
198
00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:05,408
How can I not have with all the
junk I've been eating lately?
199
00:10:05,477 --> 00:10:07,677
So why don't you just
eat a little better?
200
00:10:07,745 --> 00:10:08,911
Funny, I always intend to,
201
00:10:08,979 --> 00:10:11,179
but then Douglas starts talking
to me about this and that,
202
00:10:11,247 --> 00:10:13,815
and suddenly I'm slumped
in front of the TV,
203
00:10:13,882 --> 00:10:16,751
and I'm eating something
terribly unhealthy.
204
00:10:19,455 --> 00:10:20,655
I want pizza!
205
00:10:20,723 --> 00:10:21,457
Chinese!
206
00:10:21,524 --> 00:10:22,457
Cheese steaks!
207
00:10:22,524 --> 00:10:23,492
Cotton candy!
208
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:24,858
Fried chicken!
209
00:10:24,926 --> 00:10:27,227
That sneaky bastard.
210
00:10:33,101 --> 00:10:33,935
Hey, babe.
211
00:10:34,002 --> 00:10:35,035
Hey, hon. How was work?
212
00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:37,504
Good, good.
213
00:10:37,572 --> 00:10:39,806
Listen, um, I'm pretty beat.
214
00:10:39,874 --> 00:10:40,974
I don't feel like cooking.
215
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,176
Is it OK if we just order in?
216
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,411
Oh, yeah, sure.
217
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,845
What are you in the mood for?
218
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:49,783
Well, I, uh, passed by this
new place on my way home.
219
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,183
Looks kind of fun.
220
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:55,187
"The Vegan Café and Juice Hut."
221
00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:56,822
You OK with that?
222
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,357
Yeah, little different,
223
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,025
but if that's what my
little lady wants,
224
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:01,159
I'll give it a go.
225
00:11:01,226 --> 00:11:02,695
Oh, you're so sweet.
226
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:03,795
All right, I'm gonna go change.
227
00:11:03,862 --> 00:11:05,029
You look over the menu. Will do.
228
00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:06,230
OK. OK.
229
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:13,838
Arthur.
230
00:11:13,906 --> 00:11:15,138
"No oil, no butter.
231
00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:16,673
We only cook with love."
232
00:11:18,443 --> 00:11:19,743
Arthur!
233
00:11:22,279 --> 00:11:23,479
Is it dinnertime yet?
234
00:11:23,547 --> 00:11:26,450
Yeah, yeah, come on.
235
00:11:26,517 --> 00:11:27,550
Some day, huh?
236
00:11:27,617 --> 00:11:29,451
City life, I'll tell ya.
237
00:11:29,519 --> 00:11:31,520
Sometimes I wish we just
lived in the country,
238
00:11:31,588 --> 00:11:33,021
you know, lived on a...
239
00:11:33,089 --> 00:11:35,457
a farm.
240
00:11:35,525 --> 00:11:36,624
Wait a second.
241
00:11:36,692 --> 00:11:37,926
Didn't you live on a farm?
242
00:11:37,994 --> 00:11:40,529
Yes, I did, from the
ages of 7 to 10,
243
00:11:40,596 --> 00:11:43,532
then again at 43.
244
00:11:43,599 --> 00:11:45,834
Wow, I bet you had a
lot of animals, huh?
245
00:11:45,902 --> 00:11:48,904
Oh, yes, we had a
veritable barnyard.
246
00:11:48,971 --> 00:11:51,172
What kind, exactly?
247
00:11:51,239 --> 00:11:52,541
Everything. Goats.
248
00:11:52,608 --> 00:11:54,676
Hmm, goats. What else?
249
00:11:54,744 --> 00:11:55,910
Chickens.
250
00:11:55,977 --> 00:11:58,245
Chicken. I had
chicken for lunch.
251
00:11:58,312 --> 00:11:59,846
Go on.
252
00:11:59,914 --> 00:12:02,381
Well, uh, horses, pigs...
253
00:12:02,449 --> 00:12:03,583
Pigs? Pigs? You had pigs?
254
00:12:03,651 --> 00:12:04,717
Oh, we had about
a dozen of them.
255
00:12:04,784 --> 00:12:06,018
You know, they're
actually quite loyal
256
00:12:06,086 --> 00:12:07,721
and intelligent animals.
257
00:12:07,788 --> 00:12:10,089
And not bad eatin', huh?
258
00:12:10,156 --> 00:12:12,658
Well, sure.
259
00:12:12,726 --> 00:12:15,594
We would marinate the ribs
in a honey whiskey sauce,
260
00:12:15,661 --> 00:12:18,598
then slow-cook 'em
over an open pit
261
00:12:18,665 --> 00:12:20,298
till the meat was so tender
262
00:12:20,366 --> 00:12:22,601
it was practically
falling off the bone.
263
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:24,801
Mmm, I bet you can
still taste it, huh?
264
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,070
Oh, can I.
265
00:12:26,138 --> 00:12:28,305
Yeah, you wanna taste
some tonight for dinner?
266
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,073
No can do.
267
00:12:30,141 --> 00:12:31,942
I'm on a very strict diet.
268
00:12:32,009 --> 00:12:34,111
What?
269
00:12:34,178 --> 00:12:35,712
OK, you ready to order, honey?
270
00:12:35,779 --> 00:12:38,147
Uh, yeah, um,
271
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:41,718
I'll go with the
grilled soy cheese.
272
00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:54,896
Everything was so
great, you know?
273
00:12:54,964 --> 00:12:57,098
I was working Arthur
like a finger puppet,
274
00:12:57,166 --> 00:12:58,533
and out of nowhere,
he goes on this diet.
275
00:12:58,601 --> 00:13:00,569
Now I can't eat
anything anymore.
276
00:13:00,637 --> 00:13:04,973
You do realize you're
eating a hot dog right now?
277
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:05,839
Yeah, I know that.
278
00:13:05,941 --> 00:13:07,542
I'm talking about
when I eat at home.
279
00:13:07,609 --> 00:13:09,209
You know, Carrie always
wants to eat healthy.
280
00:13:09,277 --> 00:13:10,311
Now Arthur does, too.
281
00:13:10,378 --> 00:13:11,579
It's 2 to 1. I'm being outvoted.
282
00:13:11,647 --> 00:13:13,113
Well, you either gotta
keep eating healthy
283
00:13:13,181 --> 00:13:16,583
or get 2 other fat guys
to move in with you.
284
00:13:16,651 --> 00:13:18,118
That's funny. That's good.
285
00:13:20,087 --> 00:13:21,989
Hey, where's my hot dog?
286
00:13:22,056 --> 00:13:23,056
All right, it's coming.
287
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:27,627
Here.
288
00:13:27,694 --> 00:13:29,195
Thanks.
289
00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:31,430
Did we really have to come all the
way down here to give you this?
290
00:13:31,498 --> 00:13:33,499
I mean, the cart
is 10 feet away.
291
00:13:33,566 --> 00:13:35,768
I can't move. I'm first in line.
292
00:13:37,437 --> 00:13:40,772
There is no line.
293
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:41,874
People could come.
294
00:13:41,942 --> 00:13:43,709
So you really slept
out here all night?
295
00:13:43,777 --> 00:13:45,142
Yeah.
296
00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:46,544
Little rough.
297
00:13:46,612 --> 00:13:49,013
Little rough.
298
00:13:49,081 --> 00:13:52,383
Pretty sure someone touched me.
299
00:13:52,451 --> 00:13:53,717
Oh.
300
00:13:53,785 --> 00:13:55,986
Hold on.
301
00:13:56,054 --> 00:13:57,888
Hello.
302
00:13:57,956 --> 00:13:59,356
Yeah, no, Mom, I can't
take you right now.
303
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:00,990
I'm a little busy.
304
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:05,562
I... Well, wouldn't the
paramedics be faster?
305
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:06,796
Oh, OK, OK,
306
00:14:06,864 --> 00:14:08,698
all right, OK, I'm coming...
coming.
307
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,266
Guys, I gotta take my
mom to the doctor.
308
00:14:11,335 --> 00:14:13,202
Could you guys just
hold my place...
309
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,570
No.
310
00:14:14,638 --> 00:14:15,704
Deac?
311
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,506
Yeah, "no" sounded about right.
312
00:14:17,573 --> 00:14:19,041
Oh, please!
313
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,274
I've been here 2 days.
314
00:14:20,343 --> 00:14:21,609
I'm gonna be gone
for a couple hours.
315
00:14:21,677 --> 00:14:23,578
You know what, Deac? You owe me.
316
00:14:23,646 --> 00:14:24,979
I've done a lot
of stuff for you.
317
00:14:25,047 --> 00:14:26,814
Yeah, like what?
318
00:14:26,882 --> 00:14:28,749
Like when Kelly kicked you out
319
00:14:28,817 --> 00:14:32,486
and I let you move into my
apartment 3 months rent-free
320
00:14:32,554 --> 00:14:34,922
and created a home for
you and your kids.
321
00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:37,591
Have fun, guy.
322
00:14:49,035 --> 00:14:50,135
Can I help you?
323
00:14:50,203 --> 00:14:51,470
What?
324
00:14:51,538 --> 00:14:53,238
Oh, God, Arthur, you...
325
00:14:53,306 --> 00:14:55,007
I didn't recognize
you from the back.
326
00:14:55,074 --> 00:14:56,140
You look so lean.
327
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:57,775
I thought you were the
Sparkletts delivery guy.
328
00:14:57,843 --> 00:14:58,944
Really?
329
00:14:59,011 --> 00:15:00,077
Absolutely.
330
00:15:00,145 --> 00:15:03,814
Well, I have been
dieting like a madman.
331
00:15:03,882 --> 00:15:05,650
And it shows.
332
00:15:05,717 --> 00:15:07,685
End of story, end of diet.
333
00:15:07,752 --> 00:15:10,687
Now let's talk about our favorite
South American countries.
334
00:15:10,754 --> 00:15:11,955
Mine's Chile.
335
00:15:13,424 --> 00:15:14,824
Hey, guys. Hey.
336
00:15:14,892 --> 00:15:16,193
What's up?
337
00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:17,327
Actually, Douglas was saying
338
00:15:17,395 --> 00:15:19,196
I might want to
ease up on my diet.
339
00:15:19,263 --> 00:15:21,897
Oh, was he?
340
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,699
Yes, what do you think, darling?
341
00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:25,367
Hmm, uh,
342
00:15:25,435 --> 00:15:26,569
I've gotta be honest
with you, Dad.
343
00:15:26,637 --> 00:15:29,805
I don't think you're,
uh, quite there yet.
344
00:15:29,873 --> 00:15:31,006
Really? I do.
345
00:15:31,073 --> 00:15:33,207
Mmm, I don't know. Turn around.
346
00:15:35,946 --> 00:15:41,650
Mmm, still seeing a lot
of butter on the biscuit.
347
00:15:41,716 --> 00:15:43,217
What rear end are
you looking at?
348
00:15:43,285 --> 00:15:45,253
Right there, Jiggles Magoo.
349
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,254
Are you kidding? You know
what I want for Christmas?
350
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,756
That ass wrapped
in bicycle shorts.
351
00:15:48,824 --> 00:15:51,525
No, he doesn't, Dad. He doesn't
want your ass for Christmas.
352
00:15:51,593 --> 00:15:52,726
I do, I do.
353
00:15:52,793 --> 00:15:54,127
Doug, I know what you've
been doing, all right?
354
00:15:54,195 --> 00:15:55,663
I know you've been
using my father
355
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:57,430
to get the food that you want.
356
00:15:57,497 --> 00:15:58,665
What?
357
00:15:58,732 --> 00:16:00,867
Oh, come... Don't play dumb.
358
00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:02,835
Is this true, Douglas?
359
00:16:04,003 --> 00:16:07,573
So I guess my summer in Bologna
360
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,141
meant nothing to you.
361
00:16:09,209 --> 00:16:10,575
Excuse me.
362
00:16:17,550 --> 00:16:18,550
Tonight's dinner's your call.
363
00:16:18,618 --> 00:16:20,884
I'm easy.
364
00:16:20,952 --> 00:16:22,553
You know, this whole thing
is really your fault.
365
00:16:22,621 --> 00:16:24,622
Excuse me? Yeah.
366
00:16:24,689 --> 00:16:26,156
I only did all that because...
you know what?
367
00:16:26,224 --> 00:16:27,625
I never get any of the
things I want around here.
368
00:16:27,692 --> 00:16:29,159
I don't get the food I want.
369
00:16:29,227 --> 00:16:30,661
I don't get the videos I want.
370
00:16:30,729 --> 00:16:33,029
I let Arthur live in my house,
371
00:16:33,097 --> 00:16:34,397
and he gets anything
he asks for,
372
00:16:34,465 --> 00:16:36,332
and I'm your husband,
and I get nothing!
373
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,933
Really?
374
00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:40,303
Yeah.
375
00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:41,771
You get nothing?
376
00:16:41,839 --> 00:16:43,974
'Cause I... 'Cause I'm... I'm
kind of thinking back here,
377
00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:47,342
and I'm remembering ordering
a lot of pizzas for you
378
00:16:47,410 --> 00:16:48,911
and watching a lot
of Stallone movies
379
00:16:48,979 --> 00:16:50,913
that I'm pretty sure
weren't my idea.
380
00:16:50,981 --> 00:16:53,048
Oh, and then there was that
lizard that I let you buy
381
00:16:53,116 --> 00:16:57,352
that may... or may not still
be in this house somewhere.
382
00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:59,321
And I'm sorry. I'm confused.
383
00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:01,956
Was it my idea to drive 10 hours
384
00:17:02,024 --> 00:17:05,727
to the Ultimate Fighting
Championship in Dayton, Ohio?
385
00:17:05,794 --> 00:17:07,060
No...
386
00:17:07,128 --> 00:17:09,195
but you controlled the
radio most of the way.
387
00:17:09,263 --> 00:17:13,600
OK, so what are we talking
about here, Doug, huh?
388
00:17:13,668 --> 00:17:16,104
What things haven't you
gotten your way on?
389
00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:17,303
List them for me.
390
00:17:18,806 --> 00:17:20,674
I guess it was...
391
00:17:20,741 --> 00:17:23,142
that video that
Arthur wanted and...
392
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,144
then the halibut.
393
00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:28,514
So, 2 things? Well, 2 in a row.
394
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,064
Deac?
395
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:49,533
Oh, hey, guys. What...
What's up?
396
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:50,801
What's up, man? We're going to
check out the Jet Li movie.
397
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:51,902
What you doing?
398
00:17:51,969 --> 00:17:54,203
Uh, nothing, just, uh...
399
00:17:54,271 --> 00:17:56,506
just chillin'.
400
00:17:56,574 --> 00:17:58,475
What's up with the wizard, man?
401
00:17:59,676 --> 00:18:02,145
Uh, that's actually...
Uh, is a friend's.
402
00:18:02,213 --> 00:18:03,312
Hold up.
403
00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:05,080
Are you lined up for
that Grün thing?
404
00:18:05,148 --> 00:18:07,583
No, no, man. I told you, I'm just
holding a place for my friend.
405
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,652
Palmer's all Grüned up.
406
00:18:11,088 --> 00:18:12,520
All right, then.
407
00:18:16,325 --> 00:18:18,760
Um... wait up, guys.
408
00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:27,801
Hey, Arthur.
409
00:18:27,869 --> 00:18:29,169
Hello.
410
00:18:29,237 --> 00:18:30,337
You want some ice cream?
411
00:18:30,405 --> 00:18:32,706
No, no.
412
00:18:32,774 --> 00:18:35,676
This cottage cheese
is all I'm allowed.
413
00:18:38,012 --> 00:18:40,246
You don't need to diet, OK?
You look great.
414
00:18:40,313 --> 00:18:41,481
Don't, Douglas.
415
00:18:41,548 --> 00:18:44,183
My body image is
topsy-turvy right now.
416
00:18:44,251 --> 00:18:48,754
Look, I'm really sorry
about everything, OK?
417
00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:49,821
If it makes you feel any better,
418
00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:51,456
Carrie's really
mad at me, and...
419
00:18:51,524 --> 00:18:52,691
she's not letting it go.
420
00:18:52,759 --> 00:18:53,958
How bad is it?
421
00:18:54,026 --> 00:18:55,861
Well, she won't talk to me,
422
00:18:55,928 --> 00:18:57,929
she won't look me in the
eye, and I'm pretty sure
423
00:18:57,997 --> 00:19:00,799
there won't be any shimmy-sham
in the near future.
424
00:19:03,068 --> 00:19:06,437
My second wife Lily used to shut
the gate on me pretty good, too.
425
00:19:09,641 --> 00:19:11,608
Really?
426
00:19:11,675 --> 00:19:13,944
Why don't you tell
me about that?
427
00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:18,481
I want you to have
sex with Douglas!
428
00:19:20,383 --> 00:19:21,918
And I want pizza!
429
00:19:31,527 --> 00:19:33,161
It was all right, man.
430
00:19:33,228 --> 00:19:34,262
Kind of...
431
00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:35,329
Wah-taah!
432
00:19:35,397 --> 00:19:37,065
It was good.
433
00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:43,571
Let's go that way.
434
00:19:46,574 --> 00:19:47,875
I'm in the front of the line.
435
00:19:47,943 --> 00:19:48,977
Been here a few days.
436
00:19:49,044 --> 00:19:50,043
I'm just going to
go back up, and...
437
00:19:50,111 --> 00:19:51,713
Nice wand. Excellent.
438
00:19:51,779 --> 00:19:54,180
Oh, Vorpal sword. Brilliant.
439
00:19:54,248 --> 00:19:56,984
Yeah. Mach Tow. All right.
440
00:19:57,051 --> 00:19:58,384
Knee boots... work it.
441
00:19:58,452 --> 00:20:01,253
I'm in front of the line...
yeah.
29824
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