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1
00:00:09,173 --> 00:00:10,273
Hello.
2
00:00:10,341 --> 00:00:12,508
Mm-hmm.
3
00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:14,710
Oh, hold on a second.
I'll get him.
4
00:00:16,413 --> 00:00:18,546
Arthur, phone!
5
00:00:18,613 --> 00:00:19,713
Who is it?
6
00:00:19,781 --> 00:00:22,916
It's Louis DiRobertus
from some law firm.
7
00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:24,418
Tell him to drop dead.
8
00:00:26,954 --> 00:00:28,253
OK, I'm not gonna tell
him to drop dead.
9
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,988
Then tell him to go to hell.
10
00:00:32,057 --> 00:00:33,523
Not telling him that, either.
11
00:00:33,558 --> 00:00:34,924
Then you go to hell.
12
00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:36,292
You go to hell!
13
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,626
Drop dead!
14
00:00:41,829 --> 00:00:43,130
Sorry. Wrong number.
15
00:01:21,222 --> 00:01:23,857
I'm not gonna tell him
to go to hell, Dad!
16
00:01:23,925 --> 00:01:26,025
Arthur: Then you go to hell!
17
00:01:26,092 --> 00:01:27,425
Oy!
18
00:01:27,493 --> 00:01:29,227
Try again tomorrow.
19
00:01:29,294 --> 00:01:30,761
OK, bye.
20
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:31,662
That lawyer again?
21
00:01:31,730 --> 00:01:32,697
Yeah.
22
00:01:32,764 --> 00:01:33,797
Why does he keep calling?
23
00:01:33,864 --> 00:01:35,098
What'd your father do, anyway?
24
00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:37,099
I don't know, but I'm
thinking we'd better be ready
25
00:01:37,167 --> 00:01:39,935
to throw him in the
car and just drive.
26
00:01:40,002 --> 00:01:41,602
Oh, man. You think he
knocked someone up
27
00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:43,570
and they're hunting him
down for child support?
28
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,906
No.
29
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:50,207
How creepy would that be?
30
00:01:50,275 --> 00:01:53,276
Arthur's demon spawn
running around out there.
31
00:01:53,344 --> 00:01:54,344
Eww.
32
00:01:54,412 --> 00:01:58,214
Um... he is my father, remember?
33
00:01:59,782 --> 00:02:00,915
Oh, yeah.
34
00:02:02,617 --> 00:02:04,585
Still.
35
00:02:04,652 --> 00:02:06,085
Kids, I'm heading
out to the movies.
36
00:02:06,152 --> 00:02:07,319
Got a sandwich up my sleeve,
37
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:10,522
and a Mr. Pibb in
my breast pocket.
38
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:11,523
Do I look lumpy?
39
00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:16,893
No more than usual.
40
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,562
Uh, Dad, before you go, uh...
41
00:02:19,629 --> 00:02:21,763
what's the story with this
lawyer who keeps calling?
42
00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:24,198
Are you in some kind of
trouble or something?
43
00:02:24,266 --> 00:02:25,599
Trouble? Oh, no. Not
at all, darling.
44
00:02:25,666 --> 00:02:27,534
It's just about some
outstanding paperwork
45
00:02:27,602 --> 00:02:30,002
for the house I own
over on Borcher Avenue
46
00:02:30,070 --> 00:02:31,703
with my half-brother Skitch.
47
00:02:31,771 --> 00:02:33,338
Well, have a good evening.
48
00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:39,909
Borcher Avenue.
49
00:02:39,977 --> 00:02:43,111
Oh! OK, that must have
been his aunt's house.
50
00:02:43,179 --> 00:02:44,511
She died, like, 10 years ago,
51
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:45,746
and she didn't have any kids,
52
00:02:45,814 --> 00:02:49,215
so she must have left it
to my dad and Skitch.
53
00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:52,118
He owns a house?
54
00:02:54,186 --> 00:02:56,420
Yeah, but I guess he never
did anything with it,
55
00:02:56,488 --> 00:02:57,854
because he hates
my Uncle Skitch,
56
00:02:57,922 --> 00:03:00,322
like Tom and Jerry hate,
you know what I'm saying?
57
00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:04,159
He owns a house?
58
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,127
Yes.
59
00:03:06,195 --> 00:03:09,362
The man who's stolen hundreds
of dollars in change from me
60
00:03:09,430 --> 00:03:12,831
19 cents at a time
owns a house?!
61
00:03:12,899 --> 00:03:14,365
Yes. Will you relax, Doug?
62
00:03:14,433 --> 00:03:16,300
It's not like he ever
could have lived there.
63
00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:19,535
He hasn't talked to my Uncle
Skitch in, like, 20 years.
64
00:03:19,603 --> 00:03:22,437
The man who's walked in on
us having sex 9 times...
65
00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:25,773
And me twice... Owns a house?!
66
00:03:27,442 --> 00:03:30,177
Would you stop making
yourself crazy?
67
00:03:30,245 --> 00:03:31,845
I mean, the good news
is maybe we'll get
68
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,080
a little inheritance
someday, all right?
69
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:35,313
Now, I'm gonna go change.
70
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,482
Will you take the chicken
out of the freezer?
71
00:03:49,991 --> 00:03:51,424
Chicken's defrosting nicely.
72
00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:54,659
I also took the liberty
of setting the table.
73
00:03:54,728 --> 00:03:56,128
Now...
74
00:03:56,196 --> 00:03:57,661
He's not moving out, Doug.
75
00:03:57,730 --> 00:04:00,131
Why not?!
76
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:02,132
Because he's an old man, OK?
77
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,367
We can't just expect to throw
him in a empty house by himself
78
00:04:05,435 --> 00:04:06,802
and hope he survives.
79
00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:09,771
Why not?!
80
00:04:09,838 --> 00:04:13,074
Because, Doug, when we left
him alone in this house
81
00:04:13,141 --> 00:04:14,607
he started a small fire,
82
00:04:14,675 --> 00:04:17,109
and managed to change our
long distance carrier.
83
00:04:17,177 --> 00:04:19,244
Look, OK. How about this?
84
00:04:19,312 --> 00:04:20,378
What if he didn't
live there alone?
85
00:04:20,446 --> 00:04:21,679
What about if he went
with his brother...
86
00:04:21,746 --> 00:04:24,747
What's his name? Snitch, Satch.
87
00:04:24,815 --> 00:04:26,183
Skitch. Yeah!
88
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,517
Where's he at? The brothers
could live together.
89
00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:30,185
Did you hear a word I said?
90
00:04:30,252 --> 00:04:32,454
My father won't
even talk to him.
91
00:04:32,521 --> 00:04:34,788
Oh, like, we talk to each
other so much really?
92
00:04:34,855 --> 00:04:37,323
Look, Carrie, even if
they don't get along,
93
00:04:37,391 --> 00:04:38,491
you know, they could
put a piece of tape
94
00:04:38,559 --> 00:04:39,691
down the middle of the house...
95
00:04:39,758 --> 00:04:40,559
Each take a side.
96
00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:42,826
It worked for the Brady kids.
97
00:04:42,894 --> 00:04:45,262
Oh, really? Did Peter
ever call Greg
98
00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:47,497
a son of a bitch rat bastard?
99
00:04:47,565 --> 00:04:50,098
May have. I didn't
see every episode.
100
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:53,433
Uh... I'm pretty sure you did.
101
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,135
Look, can't we just
get them together.
102
00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:56,136
See if they can hash it out?
103
00:04:56,203 --> 00:04:57,737
No, we can't. I tried.
104
00:04:57,805 --> 00:04:58,937
When?!
105
00:04:59,005 --> 00:05:00,405
A couple of years ago
I was going across
106
00:05:00,473 --> 00:05:01,773
the George Washington Bridge.
107
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,775
I ran into Skitch. He's
a toll-taker there.
108
00:05:03,842 --> 00:05:05,942
I got his number, I
gave it to my father,
109
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:09,478
who crumpled it up
and swallowed it.
110
00:05:09,546 --> 00:05:13,381
He owns a house!
111
00:05:13,448 --> 00:05:16,082
Carrie, do you understand
what's going on here?
112
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,384
It's like we've been stranded
113
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,585
on Gilligan's Island
for the past 5 years,
114
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,019
and the whole time
there's a boat
115
00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:23,287
on the other side of the lagoon!
116
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:26,123
OK, so first it's
the Brady Bunch,
117
00:05:26,191 --> 00:05:28,391
now it's Gilligan's Island.
What's next?
118
00:05:28,459 --> 00:05:30,126
I Dream of Jeannie, Doug?
119
00:05:30,194 --> 00:05:31,326
Actually, yeah,
120
00:05:31,394 --> 00:05:33,095
'cause I wish he would move out.
121
00:05:33,163 --> 00:05:35,296
OK, listen to me.
122
00:05:35,363 --> 00:05:36,497
I agree,
123
00:05:36,564 --> 00:05:39,999
if my dad and Skitch were
to become best friends
124
00:05:40,066 --> 00:05:43,634
and move in together,
it would be fantastic.
125
00:05:43,702 --> 00:05:45,536
But it's never gonna happen.
126
00:05:46,905 --> 00:05:48,238
Let me take a crack at it.
127
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,106
No! Why not?!
128
00:05:50,174 --> 00:05:51,573
Doug, come on. If you bring
this up to my father,
129
00:05:51,641 --> 00:05:53,942
he's just gonna go crazy,
so I am begging you.
130
00:05:54,010 --> 00:05:56,410
Please leave this alone.
131
00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:03,181
Arthur: Swell of you to take
me to the circus, Douglas.
132
00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:04,383
Sure, buddy.
133
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,683
Hey, how about when that
clown went to throw
134
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:07,584
that bucket of
water on you, huh?
135
00:06:07,652 --> 00:06:10,721
It turned out to be confetti.
136
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:12,221
He had me! He really had me!
137
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,924
The look on your face.
138
00:06:14,991 --> 00:06:16,925
Ahh, well...
139
00:06:16,992 --> 00:06:19,059
time to hop across the ol' G.W.
Bridge
140
00:06:19,126 --> 00:06:20,093
and head on home.
141
00:06:20,195 --> 00:06:22,194
Hey, why don't you shimmy over
142
00:06:22,262 --> 00:06:23,963
to that exact change
lane over there?
143
00:06:24,031 --> 00:06:25,897
I always got plenty
of change on me.
144
00:06:25,965 --> 00:06:28,299
I know you do.
145
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:30,701
No, I think we'll
stay here in Lane 9.
146
00:06:30,768 --> 00:06:32,002
It's my, uh, lucky number.
147
00:06:32,069 --> 00:06:34,470
Wait a minute.
148
00:06:34,537 --> 00:06:37,538
I know for a fact that 5
is your lucky number.
149
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:39,874
What's going on here?
150
00:06:45,879 --> 00:06:48,246
$6.00 please.
151
00:06:48,314 --> 00:06:51,314
Hey, S. Spooner, wait a second.
152
00:06:51,382 --> 00:06:53,415
Isn't that your half
brother Skitch?
153
00:06:53,483 --> 00:06:56,318
You know damn well it
is, you fat turncoat!
154
00:06:56,386 --> 00:06:57,919
That you, Artie?
155
00:06:57,987 --> 00:06:58,920
How you doing?
156
00:06:58,988 --> 00:07:00,054
Let me out of this car.
157
00:07:00,121 --> 00:07:01,956
Arthur, I got the child
safety locks on.
158
00:07:02,024 --> 00:07:04,024
I think I can get past
child safety locks.
159
00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,060
Just open it, Douglas!
160
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,028
So how you been, Artie?
161
00:07:10,095 --> 00:07:11,795
You never call.
162
00:07:14,132 --> 00:07:15,165
Would you just talk
to your brother?
163
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:17,433
So you must be Carrie's
husband, right?
164
00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:19,067
Yeah, yeah. Doug Heffernan.
Nice to meet you.
165
00:07:19,135 --> 00:07:20,068
Nice to meet you.
166
00:07:20,136 --> 00:07:21,069
So where are you
fellas coming from?
167
00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:22,070
The circus?
168
00:07:22,138 --> 00:07:23,170
Yeah, yeah.
169
00:07:23,238 --> 00:07:25,571
Uh, you know what? We're
gonna whip around.
170
00:07:25,639 --> 00:07:26,705
We'll see you in
about 25 minutes.
171
00:07:26,773 --> 00:07:27,706
See you, Artie! OK.
172
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:38,081
There are the fellas.
173
00:07:38,149 --> 00:07:39,781
That's $6.00.
174
00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:42,216
Oh, uh, can you break a 20?
175
00:07:42,284 --> 00:07:44,252
I can only give you singles.
Is that all right?
176
00:07:44,319 --> 00:07:45,785
You don't have any fives?
177
00:07:45,853 --> 00:07:48,187
Why are we back here?!
178
00:07:48,255 --> 00:07:49,522
So you can talk to this man,
179
00:07:49,589 --> 00:07:51,189
now, come on. He seems
very, very nice.
180
00:07:51,257 --> 00:07:53,758
Nice? Thanks to him I went
all the way through school
181
00:07:53,825 --> 00:07:54,824
being called "monkey boy."
182
00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:56,393
Come on, Artie.
183
00:07:56,461 --> 00:07:58,060
You had those long arms,
184
00:07:58,128 --> 00:07:59,795
and you didn't help your cause
185
00:07:59,863 --> 00:08:01,863
riding around on that
tricycle everywhere.
186
00:08:01,931 --> 00:08:05,866
I don't know. Monkey boy sounds
pretty cool to me, you know?
187
00:08:05,934 --> 00:08:07,233
Almost like a superhero.
188
00:08:07,301 --> 00:08:09,936
This looks like a
job for Monkey Boy!
189
00:08:10,004 --> 00:08:12,738
Well, I was his victim in a
thousand other ways, too.
190
00:08:12,805 --> 00:08:14,605
I was bullied. I
was scapegoated.
191
00:08:14,673 --> 00:08:16,906
I was constantly
being sneezed on!
192
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,108
Oh, all right,
193
00:08:18,175 --> 00:08:21,176
I admit I did some pretty
stupid things to you.
194
00:08:21,244 --> 00:08:22,244
Why?
195
00:08:22,311 --> 00:08:23,711
Why?!
196
00:08:24,914 --> 00:08:26,813
You chew on that. Be right back.
197
00:08:32,119 --> 00:08:34,486
I did those things because
it was the only way
198
00:08:34,554 --> 00:08:36,287
I could get Dad's approval.
199
00:08:36,354 --> 00:08:37,388
Oh, yeah?
200
00:08:37,455 --> 00:08:39,189
Well, what about after he died?
201
00:08:39,256 --> 00:08:42,058
You made fun of me in your
eulogy, for God's sake!
202
00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:44,626
I thought that's what
he would have wanted.
203
00:08:44,694 --> 00:08:46,027
That's $6.00.
204
00:08:47,062 --> 00:08:48,429
Oh, we got a semi. Gotta go.
205
00:08:50,164 --> 00:08:51,698
You did so! I did not.
206
00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:52,698
You did! Never!
207
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,934
At least 5 times. Twice.
208
00:09:04,606 --> 00:09:07,175
OK, that was a $6.00
awkward pause.
209
00:09:09,144 --> 00:09:12,012
Now, you two have had
your ups and downs,
210
00:09:12,079 --> 00:09:17,514
but the bottom line is
you're half brothers.
211
00:09:17,582 --> 00:09:21,985
Do you understand what a
special bond that is?
212
00:09:22,053 --> 00:09:24,420
I never had a half brother.
213
00:09:24,521 --> 00:09:27,055
I had a full sister,
and it sucked.
214
00:09:27,122 --> 00:09:28,490
Now, come on, guys.
215
00:09:28,557 --> 00:09:30,624
What do you say you
bury the hatchet...
216
00:09:30,692 --> 00:09:32,359
before it's too late?
217
00:09:34,428 --> 00:09:37,596
I'm sorry for everything.
218
00:09:37,663 --> 00:09:39,397
You were the best half brother
219
00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:41,097
a guy could have asked for.
220
00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:42,465
I was?
221
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:44,033
Sure you were.
222
00:09:44,101 --> 00:09:46,435
Damn it, Artie,
223
00:09:46,469 --> 00:09:47,903
I love you.
224
00:09:47,971 --> 00:09:49,937
All right.
225
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,841
I love you, too, Skitch.
226
00:09:56,777 --> 00:09:58,210
Come here, you.
227
00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:08,684
That'll be $6.00.
228
00:10:20,093 --> 00:10:21,293
Wow.
229
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,094
This is sweet.
230
00:10:24,962 --> 00:10:27,430
Hey, look at this
place, Skitchy.
231
00:10:27,498 --> 00:10:29,664
Really takes me back.
232
00:10:29,732 --> 00:10:33,334
Hey, remember when we used to
play hide-and-seek in here?
233
00:10:33,402 --> 00:10:35,068
Oh, sure. We had lots of fun.
234
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:36,904
Hey, if you guys decide
to move in together,
235
00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:40,006
you can play hide-and-seek
whenever you want.
236
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,007
Oh, please.
237
00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:46,810
At our age, we'd be lucky if
we played once on weekends.
238
00:10:46,878 --> 00:10:49,078
So what do you think, Skitchy?
239
00:10:49,146 --> 00:10:50,345
Should we do this?!
240
00:10:50,413 --> 00:10:52,014
It'd be a hell of a step up
from the room I'm renting
241
00:10:52,081 --> 00:10:53,915
over that Chinese joint.
242
00:10:53,982 --> 00:10:55,916
I knew I liked the
way you smelled.
243
00:10:58,318 --> 00:10:59,718
Let's do it.
244
00:10:59,786 --> 00:11:00,853
Great. Come on!
245
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,320
Let's go check out
the old backyard.
246
00:11:03,388 --> 00:11:04,655
The old backyard.
247
00:11:09,993 --> 00:11:10,993
Carrie: Hello!
248
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:12,627
Doug?
249
00:11:12,694 --> 00:11:14,262
Welcome!
250
00:11:14,329 --> 00:11:16,096
What... I... I just
came over from work.
251
00:11:16,164 --> 00:11:17,931
I got your message. What
the hell is going on?
252
00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:21,868
Well, Arthur and I happened to
be coming back from the circus,
253
00:11:21,935 --> 00:11:22,901
and when we got to the bridge...
254
00:11:22,969 --> 00:11:23,902
Oh, Doug!
255
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:24,936
Would you let me
finish, Carrie, OK?
256
00:11:25,004 --> 00:11:26,470
Yeah, we found Skitch.
257
00:11:26,537 --> 00:11:27,671
And you know what? They made up,
258
00:11:27,739 --> 00:11:28,805
and they want to live together.
259
00:11:28,873 --> 00:11:30,273
They want to!
260
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:32,407
I told you to leave this alone.
261
00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:33,608
No, no, what you said was,
262
00:11:33,676 --> 00:11:35,777
if they could work it out,
that would be fantastic,
263
00:11:35,844 --> 00:11:36,878
and I made it happen!
264
00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:38,178
You shouldn't be yelling at me.
265
00:11:38,246 --> 00:11:40,680
You should be carrying me out
of here on your shoulders.
266
00:11:40,748 --> 00:11:44,016
Not literally. You would die.
267
00:11:44,084 --> 00:11:46,017
I don't know. I mean, come on.
268
00:11:46,085 --> 00:11:48,318
Look at this place.
It's a disaster.
269
00:11:48,386 --> 00:11:51,420
It's filthy. The... the
walls are crumbling.
270
00:11:51,488 --> 00:11:53,689
The carpet's ripped. Come on.
271
00:11:53,757 --> 00:11:56,858
It's probably just protecting
beautiful hardwood floors.
272
00:11:56,926 --> 00:11:58,792
Better yet. Cement.
273
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:00,428
That ain't going
anywhere right there.
274
00:12:00,494 --> 00:12:02,028
All it needs is a little TLC.
275
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,096
I can fix it.
276
00:12:03,163 --> 00:12:04,763
I don't know, I mean,
even if you did,
277
00:12:04,831 --> 00:12:07,098
I don't want my dad living
this far away from us.
278
00:12:07,165 --> 00:12:08,132
It's 6 blocks!
279
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,034
I've eaten sandwiches
longer than that.
280
00:12:10,101 --> 00:12:13,469
I don't care. I just... I
don't think it's a good idea.
281
00:12:13,537 --> 00:12:15,104
Why not? Give me one
reason why not.
282
00:12:15,171 --> 00:12:17,805
Because I don't think it's the
right thing for my father.
283
00:12:17,873 --> 00:12:19,441
OK, first of all,
I got to tell you
284
00:12:19,508 --> 00:12:21,174
I think it's great
for your father.
285
00:12:21,243 --> 00:12:23,776
And second of all,
what about you and me?
286
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,778
I mean, isn't it time we
started thinking about us?
287
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,378
Do you understand
what's going on here?
288
00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:31,782
This is our chance to
finally get off the island.
289
00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:34,050
The boat is just there waiting.
290
00:12:34,118 --> 00:12:36,584
It's like I'm the Professor
and you're Mary Ann.
291
00:12:36,652 --> 00:12:39,120
All we gotta do is hop
on board and sail away!
292
00:12:39,188 --> 00:12:42,355
Sail away with me!
293
00:12:42,423 --> 00:12:44,324
Wait a second.
294
00:12:44,392 --> 00:12:46,859
You're the Professor?
295
00:12:46,926 --> 00:12:49,394
OK, I'm the Skipper.
296
00:12:51,564 --> 00:12:53,163
Come on. What do you say?
297
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,198
I don't know. I mean,
do you think my dad
298
00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:57,567
would really be happy
here with Skitch?
299
00:12:57,635 --> 00:12:59,034
Are you kidding?
300
00:13:25,352 --> 00:13:28,387
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where
you going with that, chief?
301
00:13:28,454 --> 00:13:30,321
Oh, I was gonna take
Aunt Rita's room.
302
00:13:30,389 --> 00:13:32,422
Oh, sorry. Already got that one.
303
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:33,756
That's all right.
304
00:13:33,824 --> 00:13:36,058
I'm the little brother, so
I'll take the smaller room.
305
00:13:36,126 --> 00:13:38,293
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
306
00:13:38,361 --> 00:13:41,861
Uh, I already turned
that into my art studio.
307
00:13:41,929 --> 00:13:43,596
I need a place to
do my painting.
308
00:13:43,664 --> 00:13:44,764
You paint?
309
00:13:44,831 --> 00:13:47,166
Sure. By numbers.
310
00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:49,801
So where am I supposed to sleep?
311
00:13:49,868 --> 00:13:51,203
The sewing room.
312
00:13:51,269 --> 00:13:53,937
What?
313
00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:56,138
There's barely room
for a bed in there,
314
00:13:56,207 --> 00:13:58,139
and there's no windows.
315
00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:01,275
Look, Artie, sometimes I
can't sleep at night.
316
00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:03,511
I need to be near my paints.
317
00:14:03,579 --> 00:14:05,345
You haven't changed a bit!
318
00:14:05,413 --> 00:14:06,779
I don't have to
put up with this.
319
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,813
I don't have to live in
a lousy sewing room!
320
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,482
It just so happens
I have a basement!
321
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,128
All right, so what have you got?
322
00:14:30,196 --> 00:14:31,497
8 1/2 feet.
323
00:14:31,564 --> 00:14:34,331
Oh, good, all right, so
we'll put the desk there
324
00:14:34,399 --> 00:14:35,533
and the bookcase over there.
325
00:14:35,601 --> 00:14:41,169
OK, and where precisely
will we be throwing down?
326
00:14:41,237 --> 00:14:43,971
We have the old fold-out
couch for that,
327
00:14:44,039 --> 00:14:45,273
and that will be right here.
328
00:14:45,340 --> 00:14:47,240
Sure all that stuff's
gonna fit here?
329
00:14:47,308 --> 00:14:48,408
Yeah, well, once we get the bed
330
00:14:48,475 --> 00:14:49,508
and all this other
crap out of here,
331
00:14:49,575 --> 00:14:50,842
we'll have a lot of space.
332
00:14:50,911 --> 00:14:53,678
OK. Don't laugh when I say this:
333
00:14:53,745 --> 00:14:55,712
old-fashioned popcorn machine.
334
00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:59,581
Gotta say, not hating it.
335
00:15:18,829 --> 00:15:20,630
Hey, Deac, I got another one.
336
00:15:20,698 --> 00:15:25,300
♪ Ebony and ivory
337
00:15:25,368 --> 00:15:29,436
♪ Live together in
perfect harm... ♪
338
00:15:29,504 --> 00:15:31,170
♪ ... Ony
339
00:15:31,238 --> 00:15:34,206
I don't care if you are buying
me dinner at Appleby's.
340
00:15:34,273 --> 00:15:37,174
I'm doing you a favor, and I
can leave anytime I want.
341
00:15:37,242 --> 00:15:40,743
You're doing great,
but it's lunch.
342
00:15:40,811 --> 00:15:43,113
Right over there, boys.
343
00:15:43,179 --> 00:15:45,247
Oh. There you go.
344
00:15:45,315 --> 00:15:47,681
So you actually play this thing?
345
00:15:47,749 --> 00:15:49,283
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
346
00:15:49,351 --> 00:15:52,685
Maybe Arthur and I can
get an act together.
347
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:55,254
I'll be the organ grinder,
he'll be the monkey.
348
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:56,654
We'll get him a
little round cap.
349
00:15:56,721 --> 00:15:59,589
Nobody will know the difference.
350
00:15:59,657 --> 00:16:01,891
Come on, monkey boy.
351
00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:04,660
Let's go make these
fellas some sandwiches,
352
00:16:04,728 --> 00:16:07,529
and maybe I'll find
a banana for you.
353
00:16:10,732 --> 00:16:12,765
Skitch is kind of
rough, isn't he?
354
00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:14,367
What are you talking about?
355
00:16:14,435 --> 00:16:17,269
I don't know. The way
he treats Arthur.
356
00:16:17,336 --> 00:16:19,003
He's just playing with him.
357
00:16:19,071 --> 00:16:21,372
It's hilarious. It's like
they're a comedy team.
358
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,074
Arthur's been taking one gut
punch after another all day.
359
00:16:24,141 --> 00:16:25,774
He's the straight man.
360
00:16:25,842 --> 00:16:27,542
Whatever, man. I just
think it's kind of funky.
361
00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:29,611
It's not funky, it's happy, OK?
362
00:16:29,678 --> 00:16:32,879
Everybody's happy, so if you feel the
need to create some sort of problem
363
00:16:32,947 --> 00:16:37,249
between my father-in-law and my...
half-uncle-in-law,
364
00:16:37,318 --> 00:16:39,384
then maybe you should just go.
365
00:16:39,452 --> 00:16:41,686
All right. See ya.
366
00:16:41,753 --> 00:16:44,220
Actually, we've still
got to move the beds.
367
00:16:49,325 --> 00:16:50,858
Hey. Hey.
368
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:53,527
How's life over at
Phi Delta Spooner?
369
00:16:53,594 --> 00:16:55,729
Excellent.
370
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:58,063
I got to tell you, honey, you were
right about this whole thing.
371
00:16:58,131 --> 00:17:00,732
I feel like a huge weight
372
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,701
has been lifted off my head.
373
00:17:02,768 --> 00:17:04,702
You know, I danced a jig today.
374
00:17:04,769 --> 00:17:06,469
That's right. Right
there on the subway.
375
00:17:06,537 --> 00:17:08,304
A guy gave me a dollar.
376
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:11,072
You done good, baby.
377
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,907
You know me. I aim to please.
378
00:17:13,975 --> 00:17:17,043
No, sir. I aim to please.
379
00:17:17,111 --> 00:17:19,777
I have 5 years to
make up to you,
380
00:17:19,845 --> 00:17:23,114
so after you drop this stuff
off at my dad's tonight,
381
00:17:23,181 --> 00:17:25,216
it's all about Dougie.
382
00:17:27,985 --> 00:17:29,150
Really?
383
00:17:29,218 --> 00:17:33,955
That's right. I got a drum
of chocolate pudding,
384
00:17:34,022 --> 00:17:36,590
and I ain't afraid to use it.
385
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:46,564
Hello!
386
00:17:46,631 --> 00:17:48,665
Skitch: Get the door, will ya!
387
00:17:53,403 --> 00:17:55,002
Costco delivery.
388
00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:57,371
I come bearing cereal, pasta,
389
00:17:57,439 --> 00:18:00,106
and the last bottle of
shampoo you'll ever need.
390
00:18:00,174 --> 00:18:01,473
Thank you.
391
00:18:01,541 --> 00:18:03,475
Wow. The place looks great.
392
00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:05,543
All that's left is for you
guys to sit back, relax,
393
00:18:05,611 --> 00:18:07,243
and enjoy the good life, huh?
394
00:18:07,311 --> 00:18:08,278
Right.
395
00:18:08,346 --> 00:18:09,847
Skitch: Hey, Bonzo,
396
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:12,849
my bath isn't gonna draw itself.
397
00:18:12,916 --> 00:18:14,816
OK. You guys seem like you're
in the middle of something,
398
00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:15,951
so I'm going to take off.
399
00:18:16,019 --> 00:18:17,918
OK. Good night.
400
00:18:17,986 --> 00:18:21,387
Skitch: Why the hell don't
I hear the water running?
401
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,698
You know, that's shampoo
and conditioner in one.
402
00:18:36,765 --> 00:18:39,066
Yes, I do. I do.
403
00:18:48,807 --> 00:18:50,441
Arthur, come here.
404
00:18:54,211 --> 00:18:58,312
Look, I don't think you should
be living here with this guy.
405
00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:02,014
So what do you propose I do?
406
00:19:02,082 --> 00:19:04,683
Well, I think you should just...
407
00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:07,586
Do you own any other
properties in the area?
408
00:19:07,654 --> 00:19:11,388
A home? A piece of land we
could park a trailer on?
409
00:19:11,456 --> 00:19:12,689
No.
410
00:19:12,757 --> 00:19:15,491
OK, fine. You should...
411
00:19:15,559 --> 00:19:17,092
You should come home with us.
412
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,493
But what about my room?
413
00:19:18,561 --> 00:19:23,597
You've already turned it into
your popcorn and sex grotto.
414
00:19:23,665 --> 00:19:26,165
I don't care about that, OK?
415
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:27,499
You shouldn't be living
here with this guy.
416
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,068
You should be home
in your own room,
417
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:33,603
living with the people who...
418
00:19:33,671 --> 00:19:35,272
well, the people who love you.
419
00:19:35,339 --> 00:19:36,906
Really? Yeah.
420
00:19:36,973 --> 00:19:39,241
Great. I'll get my things,
421
00:19:39,309 --> 00:19:41,076
tell that son of a
bitch good-bye,
422
00:19:41,210 --> 00:19:44,511
and you, me, and Carrie will spend
a wonderful evening together.
423
00:19:44,579 --> 00:19:45,912
Oh, uh, whoa.
424
00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:46,912
What?
425
00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:50,448
Tonight's not great. Um...
426
00:19:50,516 --> 00:19:53,917
you think you might be able to
stick it out just one more day?
427
00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:55,385
OK. All right. OK.
428
00:20:00,556 --> 00:20:02,023
Yeah, I know I said today,
429
00:20:02,091 --> 00:20:04,892
but could we push it
back to tomorrow?
430
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:06,993
All right.
431
00:20:10,863 --> 00:20:12,764
Really want you home, big guy,
432
00:20:12,831 --> 00:20:15,732
but could you just
wait till Monday?
433
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,567
Fine.
434
00:20:19,436 --> 00:20:23,004
Skitch: Artie, did you take
one of my Fig Newtons?
435
00:20:23,072 --> 00:20:24,272
Oh, God.
436
00:20:27,508 --> 00:20:30,076
Tell you what. Give me a call
the first of next month,
437
00:20:30,144 --> 00:20:34,145
'cause I really want to make
this movin' back thing happen.
438
00:20:34,213 --> 00:20:35,913
Carrie: Doug, you coming?
439
00:20:35,981 --> 00:20:37,747
Be right there. I got to go.
440
00:20:48,723 --> 00:20:50,356
I'm back.
441
00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:52,558
Deal with it.
442
00:21:00,364 --> 00:21:01,964
Mmm.
443
00:21:03,132 --> 00:21:04,599
This pudding is delicious.
444
00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:06,801
You have any more?
445
00:21:06,868 --> 00:21:08,836
We got a lot.
31351
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