subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for The King of Queens - S05E20 - Driving Reign (1080p x265 EDGE2020)-ing

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,116 --> 00:00:08,549 Hey, Dad. 2 00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:11,816 Kids, I've made the most incredible discovery. 3 00:00:11,883 --> 00:00:14,949 What, that I can't see Sportscenter through you? 4 00:00:15,017 --> 00:00:17,050 No. This. I stumbled upon 5 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:20,384 a little slice of heaven called the Dollar Store. 6 00:00:20,452 --> 00:00:22,118 Guess how much I paid for this. 7 00:00:22,185 --> 00:00:24,051 I don't know. How much? 8 00:00:24,119 --> 00:00:25,119 A dollar! 9 00:00:25,187 --> 00:00:26,420 Wow! 10 00:00:26,454 --> 00:00:30,020 Not sure you needed Jhericurl, though. 11 00:00:30,087 --> 00:00:32,720 For a dollar, how could I not need it? 12 00:00:32,788 --> 00:00:34,322 I'm telling you, Douglas, you should go there. 13 00:00:34,389 --> 00:00:36,155 The prices are unbeatable. 14 00:00:36,223 --> 00:00:37,789 Hmm... unless you go down 15 00:00:37,856 --> 00:00:39,556 to the 99 Cents Store. 16 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:40,989 The what? 17 00:00:41,057 --> 00:00:43,023 The 99 Cents Store. It's exactly like the Dollar Store, 18 00:00:43,090 --> 00:00:44,890 only everything's a penny cheaper. 19 00:00:47,324 --> 00:00:50,092 Those bastards saw me coming a mile away! 20 00:00:54,761 --> 00:00:56,425 That was fun. 21 00:01:33,402 --> 00:01:38,535 OK, boys, breakfast is served. 22 00:01:38,602 --> 00:01:41,702 I thought you were goin' to Dunkin' Donuts. 23 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,037 Change in plans. 24 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:46,204 Ling Gardens is now open 24/7. 25 00:01:46,271 --> 00:01:49,038 OK, just because a restaurant is open 24-hours-a-day, 26 00:01:49,105 --> 00:01:50,506 doesn't mean you have to eat there 27 00:01:50,572 --> 00:01:52,205 24-hours-a-day. 28 00:01:52,273 --> 00:01:55,173 That's exactly what it means. 29 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,705 Oh, how sad it that? 30 00:01:56,773 --> 00:01:58,507 All those loaders going after 31 00:01:58,574 --> 00:02:00,106 the one open driver spot. 32 00:02:00,174 --> 00:02:02,775 Look at 'em filling out their applications. 33 00:02:02,843 --> 00:02:04,608 They're adorable. 34 00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:06,542 You just want to squeeze 'em, you know? 35 00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:10,809 I wish I could keep a tiny little loader at home as a pet. 36 00:02:10,877 --> 00:02:12,510 My kids would love that. 37 00:02:12,578 --> 00:02:13,743 And Sanchez... 38 00:02:13,811 --> 00:02:16,578 I don't even think his feet can reach the pedals. 39 00:02:16,645 --> 00:02:18,043 Watch this. 40 00:02:18,111 --> 00:02:19,345 Hey, Sanchez, 41 00:02:19,412 --> 00:02:21,411 what'd you say your favorite kind of bagel was again? 42 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,545 The plain. 43 00:02:22,613 --> 00:02:23,545 Was it sesame? 44 00:02:23,613 --> 00:02:26,313 The plain. The plain! 45 00:02:30,082 --> 00:02:32,214 Hey, look. Your cousin Danny's 46 00:02:32,281 --> 00:02:33,348 grabbing' an application. 47 00:02:33,415 --> 00:02:35,015 Doug: Oh, crap! 48 00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:36,014 What? 49 00:02:36,082 --> 00:02:37,015 Now he's gonna be all over me 50 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,048 to help him out 51 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,382 and write him a letter of recommendation. 52 00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:41,449 Hey, buddy. 53 00:02:41,517 --> 00:02:43,316 Hey, where the heck is all the soy sauce?! 54 00:02:43,384 --> 00:02:44,917 This is crazy. I gotta go back. 55 00:02:44,984 --> 00:02:46,250 There's soy sauce right here. 56 00:02:46,318 --> 00:02:47,317 Yeah, I know, I know. That's what I'm saying. 57 00:02:47,385 --> 00:02:49,218 There's too much. I gotta bring some back. 58 00:02:53,754 --> 00:02:54,718 I don't know, we exchanged numbers, 59 00:02:54,786 --> 00:02:56,219 but he hasn't called me. 60 00:02:56,287 --> 00:02:58,187 Maybe I should just give him a call. 61 00:02:58,255 --> 00:02:58,953 Don't you dare! 62 00:02:59,021 --> 00:03:00,454 If this Tito fellow can't see 63 00:03:00,522 --> 00:03:01,587 how special you are, 64 00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:02,588 then he's not worth it. 65 00:03:02,656 --> 00:03:04,522 I guess. 66 00:03:04,589 --> 00:03:05,522 You're smart, successful, 67 00:03:05,589 --> 00:03:06,888 and other than being a little light 68 00:03:06,956 --> 00:03:07,922 in the bazoom, 69 00:03:07,989 --> 00:03:10,057 very attractive. 70 00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:13,290 OK, now you've got me blushing. 71 00:03:13,358 --> 00:03:14,290 You know, Arthur, 72 00:03:14,358 --> 00:03:15,658 at first you were just this person 73 00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:17,391 that I walked, but I gotta say, 74 00:03:17,459 --> 00:03:18,691 now you've become so much more. 75 00:03:18,759 --> 00:03:21,691 You've become kind of like family. 76 00:03:21,759 --> 00:03:24,226 Now you've got me blushing. 77 00:03:24,294 --> 00:03:26,793 Well, I better go. Cupcake's sending up warning signals. 78 00:03:26,861 --> 00:03:27,760 Oh, yes. 79 00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:30,027 That certainly was Cupcake. 80 00:03:30,095 --> 00:03:31,160 Bye. 81 00:03:31,228 --> 00:03:32,795 Good-bye. 82 00:03:36,196 --> 00:03:38,363 I was just paid a wonderful compliment. 83 00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:40,363 Holly said I was like family to her. 84 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:42,731 Wow. She have a basement? 85 00:03:45,431 --> 00:03:48,798 Don't worry, Douglas, I love it here. 86 00:03:51,934 --> 00:03:53,633 Hey. Hey. 87 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:56,033 Listen, the wind is blowing our trash can 88 00:03:56,101 --> 00:03:57,066 down the middle of the street. 89 00:03:57,134 --> 00:03:58,133 I know. I saw it. 90 00:03:58,201 --> 00:04:00,001 Those things get rolling pretty good, huh? 91 00:04:06,669 --> 00:04:09,737 Hello. Oh, hey, Danny. 92 00:04:09,805 --> 00:04:11,370 I'm not here! 93 00:04:11,437 --> 00:04:13,270 Uh, no, he's not here. 94 00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:14,872 He's um... 95 00:04:14,939 --> 00:04:16,771 out jogging. 96 00:04:20,339 --> 00:04:22,305 He's at Jack in the Box. 97 00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:25,406 Yeah. 98 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,508 Oh, that's great, Danny. 99 00:04:27,575 --> 00:04:29,708 I'm sure you'll get it. 100 00:04:29,775 --> 00:04:30,774 Yeah, yeah. 101 00:04:30,842 --> 00:04:32,108 He'll be happy to do that for you. 102 00:04:32,175 --> 00:04:33,774 OK, honey. Bye-bye. 103 00:04:33,842 --> 00:04:37,043 What is your problem? 104 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,043 Did you just say to him I'd write a letter of recommendation? 105 00:04:39,111 --> 00:04:40,877 Yeah. Why is that such a big deal? 106 00:04:40,945 --> 00:04:42,543 Beca... he only wants to be a driver 107 00:04:42,611 --> 00:04:43,843 'cause I'm a driver! 108 00:04:43,912 --> 00:04:45,644 He's copying me again. 109 00:04:45,712 --> 00:04:46,877 Copying you? 110 00:04:46,945 --> 00:04:49,245 Yeah. When we were kids, I got a Reggie Jackson mitt. 111 00:04:49,313 --> 00:04:51,112 2 weeks later, he got one. 112 00:04:51,179 --> 00:04:52,379 When I dropped out of junior college, 113 00:04:52,446 --> 00:04:54,413 he dropped out of junior college. 114 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,546 Then just last month, I went on that juice diet... he did. 115 00:04:57,614 --> 00:05:00,680 Did he gain 10 pounds on it? 116 00:05:00,748 --> 00:05:02,948 Look, you know what? There's no point in even discussing this, 117 00:05:03,016 --> 00:05:04,249 because the bottom line is 118 00:05:04,317 --> 00:05:06,149 Danny's not right for this job. 119 00:05:06,217 --> 00:05:07,149 Oh, why's that? 120 00:05:07,217 --> 00:05:08,183 Because when it comes to driving, 121 00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,116 he just doesn't have... it. 122 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:14,150 OK, and by "it," do you mean a driver's license? 123 00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:18,385 Uh, excuse me, it's a class "C" license. 124 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,219 And don't knock it. It's paid for slightly less 125 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:21,786 than 1/2 of all of this. 126 00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:25,053 Just be a good guy and write the letter for your cousin. 127 00:05:25,121 --> 00:05:26,353 Here... 128 00:05:26,421 --> 00:05:28,054 Unbelievable. 129 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:33,389 Does "dumb-ass" have a hyphen? 130 00:05:33,456 --> 00:05:35,823 Give it to me. 131 00:05:38,223 --> 00:05:39,223 All right, 132 00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:41,022 I'd like to introduce the newest driver 133 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,458 to the IPS family, Danny Heffernan. 134 00:05:43,525 --> 00:05:46,624 You're now a member of an elite force, son. 135 00:05:46,692 --> 00:05:49,426 With great honor comes great responsibility. 136 00:05:49,494 --> 00:05:51,025 Make us proud. 137 00:05:51,094 --> 00:05:52,426 All right, next item. 138 00:05:52,494 --> 00:05:53,926 One of you pinheads broke my stapler. 139 00:05:53,994 --> 00:05:54,859 Until further notice, 140 00:05:54,927 --> 00:05:56,094 my stapler is off-limits. 141 00:05:56,161 --> 00:05:58,061 That's it. Hit the streets, everybody. 142 00:05:58,129 --> 00:06:00,261 Heffernan, show your cousin the ropes. 143 00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:07,163 Hey, thanks a lot for writin' that letter, buddy. 144 00:06:07,231 --> 00:06:08,762 So, what's the dealio? 145 00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:09,930 Am I gettin' a good truck? 146 00:06:09,997 --> 00:06:11,564 What's my route? Where am I goin'? 147 00:06:11,631 --> 00:06:13,164 You know what? Your first delivery 148 00:06:13,232 --> 00:06:15,564 is to Shut It Up Industries. 149 00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:19,132 You're not a loader anymore. 150 00:06:19,199 --> 00:06:20,599 You're a driver. Act like one. 151 00:06:20,666 --> 00:06:21,899 Right. 152 00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:24,067 All right, here she is. 153 00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:25,100 So, what's the first thing you do 154 00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:26,366 when you get in in the morning? 155 00:06:26,434 --> 00:06:27,767 Uh, perimeter check. 156 00:06:27,835 --> 00:06:30,168 Tire pressure, door gates, and fluid levels. 157 00:06:31,568 --> 00:06:33,568 Oh, boy. 158 00:06:33,636 --> 00:06:35,268 What? That's what it says in the manual. 159 00:06:35,336 --> 00:06:38,937 I know what it says in the manual, OK? 160 00:06:39,004 --> 00:06:39,937 I'm here to teach you 161 00:06:40,004 --> 00:06:42,904 what's not in the manual. All right? 162 00:06:49,607 --> 00:06:50,806 Do you hear that? Come here. 163 00:06:53,207 --> 00:06:54,173 You know what that is? 164 00:06:56,042 --> 00:06:59,041 Uh... We Will Rock You? 165 00:07:02,575 --> 00:07:04,476 No. Listen! 166 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:08,143 You got a rivet missing. 167 00:07:08,211 --> 00:07:09,944 Mm-hmm. Hey, can I have the keys now, 168 00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:10,910 or are you just gonna... 169 00:07:10,978 --> 00:07:12,077 The keys. 170 00:07:12,145 --> 00:07:14,812 He wants the keys. He wants the keys. 171 00:07:14,879 --> 00:07:16,778 You just don't get it, do you? 172 00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:18,179 You know, this job is a lot more 173 00:07:18,247 --> 00:07:19,679 than just driving a truck. 174 00:07:20,713 --> 00:07:22,080 What else is it? 175 00:07:22,148 --> 00:07:23,581 Customer relations! 176 00:07:23,615 --> 00:07:24,647 You know, when I first started, 177 00:07:24,714 --> 00:07:26,380 there was this lady, Mrs. Janowski. 178 00:07:26,448 --> 00:07:28,148 She would hardly open the door for me. 179 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,814 Now she bakes me sugar cookies 180 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,249 in all different shapes. 181 00:07:31,316 --> 00:07:33,281 You know, your stars, your squares, your hearts. 182 00:07:33,349 --> 00:07:35,850 OK, now that you've explained to me what a shape is, 183 00:07:35,918 --> 00:07:37,450 can I hit the road, or... 184 00:07:37,518 --> 00:07:39,751 Are you questioning my training methods? 185 00:07:39,818 --> 00:07:42,152 No. No, no, no. 186 00:07:42,219 --> 00:07:44,985 Tap the truck, get a cookie. Got it! 187 00:07:45,053 --> 00:07:48,052 You know what? I knew making you a driver was a big mistake. 188 00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:51,254 Mistake? Why'd you write that letter of recommendation? 189 00:07:51,319 --> 00:07:52,887 I didn't. Carrie did. 190 00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:54,187 What? Yeah. 191 00:07:54,255 --> 00:07:56,087 The truth is, I don't think you can handle this job. 192 00:07:56,155 --> 00:07:57,687 It's driving and walking. 193 00:07:57,755 --> 00:07:59,822 Get over yourself. 194 00:07:59,889 --> 00:08:03,356 OK, if it's so easy, hotshot, 195 00:08:03,424 --> 00:08:04,556 why don't you take my route today, 196 00:08:04,624 --> 00:08:05,955 and I'll take the trainee route? 197 00:08:06,023 --> 00:08:07,723 I'll talk to O'Boyle right now and make that happen 198 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:08,758 if you want me to. 199 00:08:08,825 --> 00:08:10,491 Fine. OK. Here you go. 200 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,091 Welcome to zone 8. 201 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,625 Or as you'll be calling it, 202 00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:16,192 "I can't do it." 203 00:08:21,795 --> 00:08:23,460 Hey, Arthur, you were right about Tito. 204 00:08:23,528 --> 00:08:24,460 He called me last night 205 00:08:24,528 --> 00:08:25,994 begging me to go out with him again. 206 00:08:26,061 --> 00:08:27,028 Well, if there's one thing I know, 207 00:08:27,096 --> 00:08:28,928 it's how to get a man. 208 00:08:28,996 --> 00:08:30,729 OK, Arthur, ready for your walk? 209 00:08:30,796 --> 00:08:31,762 You betcha. 210 00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:33,295 Oh, I got you a little something 211 00:08:33,363 --> 00:08:35,730 just to say thanks for being so nice. 212 00:08:35,797 --> 00:08:37,763 Well, what is this? 213 00:08:37,831 --> 00:08:40,997 "World's greatest grandfather." 214 00:08:41,064 --> 00:08:43,098 You know, you're like a grandfather to me. 215 00:08:43,166 --> 00:08:45,299 A grandfather?! 216 00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:47,366 Why don't you just kick me in the marbles?! 217 00:08:48,467 --> 00:08:50,133 What? Why are you mad? 218 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,799 Because I'm not like a grandfather. 219 00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,334 I'm like a father to you. 220 00:08:53,401 --> 00:08:55,634 I didn't mean to say that you were old or anything. 221 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,067 It has nothing to do with age. 222 00:08:57,136 --> 00:08:58,269 It's about stature. 223 00:08:58,337 --> 00:08:59,468 What?! 224 00:08:59,536 --> 00:09:01,569 Grandfathers are a dime a dozen. 225 00:09:01,637 --> 00:09:03,769 That's why everyone get's 2 of them. 226 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:06,270 Fathers are the real McCoy. 227 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,770 They're the wind beneath your wings. 228 00:09:08,838 --> 00:09:11,471 If you can't see that I'm your wind, 229 00:09:11,539 --> 00:09:13,004 then you're dead to me! 230 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,540 Oh... got too rough for you out there, huh? 231 00:09:24,608 --> 00:09:26,707 You quit in the middle of the day. 232 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,542 What's the matter, the packages too heavy? 233 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:33,109 You couldn't see over the steewing wheel? 234 00:09:34,877 --> 00:09:35,843 Yeah, you were right, Doug. 235 00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:38,377 I couldn't do your route as fast as you. 236 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,877 I could only do it 46 minutes faster 237 00:09:40,945 --> 00:09:42,778 than you've ever done it. 238 00:09:42,846 --> 00:09:44,277 Heh heh heh heh. 239 00:09:45,613 --> 00:09:47,013 Ooh, hear that tappin'? 240 00:09:47,081 --> 00:09:50,280 That's the sound of this loader dustin' your ass! 241 00:09:50,347 --> 00:09:51,480 That's gotta hurt! 242 00:10:02,116 --> 00:10:03,250 Think of it this way. 243 00:10:03,317 --> 00:10:05,216 What would you rather be, a piano, 244 00:10:05,284 --> 00:10:06,884 or a grand piano? 245 00:10:06,951 --> 00:10:09,416 A canyon, or a Grand Canyon? 246 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:12,518 An ole opry, or a Grand Ole Opry? 247 00:10:12,585 --> 00:10:15,351 I ain't buyin' your soap, lady. 248 00:10:15,419 --> 00:10:16,552 Arthur, Arthur, listen. 249 00:10:16,619 --> 00:10:18,218 I'm sorry that the trophy hurt your feelings. 250 00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:20,053 Just give it to me and I'll take it back. 251 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,687 Why, you want to swap it out 252 00:10:21,753 --> 00:10:23,820 for a "world's best fourth cousin" trophy? 253 00:10:23,888 --> 00:10:25,921 No, Arthur, I just want to get this over with 254 00:10:25,989 --> 00:10:27,654 so we can go on our walk. 255 00:10:27,722 --> 00:10:28,755 Well, it's not gonna be over 256 00:10:28,823 --> 00:10:30,322 until you admit what's obvious 257 00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:31,521 to everyone else! 258 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:32,989 Fine. Fine. You're like a father to me. 259 00:10:33,057 --> 00:10:35,255 You are exactly like a father to me! 260 00:10:35,323 --> 00:10:37,190 I am? 261 00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:38,323 Yes. 262 00:10:38,391 --> 00:10:39,491 Come here. 263 00:10:42,492 --> 00:10:43,792 Feels good, doesn't it? 264 00:10:44,893 --> 00:10:47,092 That's it, let it out. 265 00:10:51,828 --> 00:10:52,827 Hey, babe. 266 00:10:52,894 --> 00:10:54,594 You! 267 00:10:54,661 --> 00:10:56,661 What's the matter with... 268 00:10:56,729 --> 00:10:57,893 Aa-aa-aah! Doug... 269 00:10:57,961 --> 00:10:59,195 Aaa-eee-aah! 270 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,230 What is going on with you? 271 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,330 You just had to help 272 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,163 your precious little Danny, didn't you? 273 00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:09,231 Why? What happened? Did he screw up or something? 274 00:11:09,298 --> 00:11:10,198 No, he did great. 275 00:11:10,265 --> 00:11:12,065 He did my route faster than I've ever done it. 276 00:11:12,132 --> 00:11:13,498 He did better than you? 277 00:11:13,566 --> 00:11:15,700 I don't know why you're so shocked. 278 00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:16,765 According to your letter, 279 00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:18,266 he's "infinitely talented." 280 00:11:18,334 --> 00:11:20,234 Oh, come on, I had to write something. 281 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:23,334 I couldn't say he was a stumpy loser. 282 00:11:23,401 --> 00:11:24,268 I can't believe this. 283 00:11:24,336 --> 00:11:25,967 Well, what's the big deal anyway? 284 00:11:26,036 --> 00:11:27,268 It was his first day. 285 00:11:27,336 --> 00:11:28,503 I got smoked by a rookie. 286 00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:30,503 I'm a disgrace to my shorts! 287 00:11:30,569 --> 00:11:31,536 You know what? 288 00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:33,737 Give these to someone who deserves 'em. 289 00:11:33,804 --> 00:11:35,303 I gotta be honest with you. 290 00:11:35,371 --> 00:11:38,237 I don't think anyone deserves these. 291 00:11:39,904 --> 00:11:41,339 Doug, come on. Don't get down on yourself. 292 00:11:41,405 --> 00:11:42,938 You're a great driver. 293 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,505 No, I'm not. Yes, you are. 294 00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:46,106 No, I'm not! You can't be great at something 295 00:11:46,174 --> 00:11:48,039 if you're not as good as a stumpy loser. 296 00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:51,707 Unless it's a stumpy loser contest. 297 00:11:51,775 --> 00:11:54,207 It's OK, baby. Really. 298 00:11:54,275 --> 00:11:55,842 No, it's not. Look... 299 00:11:55,909 --> 00:11:59,476 God... if he can just waltz in there on his first day 300 00:11:59,542 --> 00:12:02,142 and do better than me, then... 301 00:12:02,210 --> 00:12:04,043 what does it all mean? I mean... 302 00:12:04,111 --> 00:12:06,943 why do we even bother gettin' up? 303 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,144 Well, you have other things in your life 304 00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:10,510 other than driving. 305 00:12:10,578 --> 00:12:12,079 Like what? 306 00:12:12,146 --> 00:12:15,645 Well... you have me... 307 00:12:15,681 --> 00:12:18,147 and your health... sort of. 308 00:12:20,181 --> 00:12:21,514 You know what it is? 309 00:12:21,581 --> 00:12:23,248 It's like... 310 00:12:23,315 --> 00:12:26,249 I... I take pride in my work. 311 00:12:26,316 --> 00:12:28,149 Before today, I really thought 312 00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:29,449 I brought something special to the job. 313 00:12:29,517 --> 00:12:33,016 Something that nobody else but me could bring. 314 00:12:33,084 --> 00:12:34,749 Really? 315 00:12:34,817 --> 00:12:36,150 Yeah. 316 00:12:36,218 --> 00:12:39,085 You know, sometimes at the end of the day, 317 00:12:39,152 --> 00:12:41,417 you know, after I had a great run... 318 00:12:41,485 --> 00:12:45,086 I actually thought God put me on this earth 319 00:12:45,153 --> 00:12:48,220 to get people their packages. 320 00:12:48,288 --> 00:12:49,721 Really? 321 00:12:49,788 --> 00:12:50,719 Yes! 322 00:12:50,787 --> 00:12:51,720 Doug, I'm sorry. 323 00:12:51,788 --> 00:12:52,954 Don't take this the wrong way, 324 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,588 but maybe you're expecting a little too much 325 00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:58,756 out of your truck driving job. 326 00:12:58,824 --> 00:13:01,189 I mean, I don't get any fulfillment from my job. 327 00:13:01,256 --> 00:13:02,223 What about last week? 328 00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:03,691 You said you had a great day at work. 329 00:13:03,758 --> 00:13:04,691 Oh, I wore some tight pants 330 00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:06,525 and got some good feedback. 331 00:13:08,259 --> 00:13:10,125 I wouldn't suggest that for you. 332 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,325 Look, come... 333 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,126 Honey, I... I don't know what to say. 334 00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:17,825 I mean, we're not doctors, you know. 335 00:13:17,893 --> 00:13:19,826 We're not saving lives with what we do. 336 00:13:19,894 --> 00:13:21,561 We have jobs, you know? 337 00:13:21,629 --> 00:13:24,529 We punch in, we cash our checks, 338 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,462 and then we come home to each other. 339 00:13:27,529 --> 00:13:30,362 And that should be enough, OK? 340 00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:31,530 I'm gonna go change. 341 00:13:40,699 --> 00:13:41,998 Woman: Oh, Johnny... 342 00:13:42,066 --> 00:13:43,466 my sister Linda... 343 00:13:43,534 --> 00:13:46,267 Woman: Big money! Big money! 344 00:13:46,334 --> 00:13:48,801 Man: Unemployed? Need a job quick? 345 00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:51,068 Well, become a truck driver. 346 00:13:51,135 --> 00:13:53,135 No education, no problem. 347 00:13:53,202 --> 00:13:56,335 No experience, no problem. 348 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:59,802 If you can sit down, you can be a driver. 349 00:14:04,438 --> 00:14:06,004 Don't worry, guys, we'll get going 350 00:14:06,072 --> 00:14:07,204 as soon as we pick up Arthur. 351 00:14:07,272 --> 00:14:08,404 Arthur? 352 00:14:09,839 --> 00:14:11,306 Right here, darling. 353 00:14:11,374 --> 00:14:12,972 What's going on? 354 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,474 You told me once you never learned to ride a bike, 355 00:14:15,541 --> 00:14:17,540 and I intend to teach you. 356 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:20,375 Oh, Arthur, that's sweet, but you really don't need... 357 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,542 Am I like a father to you or not?! 358 00:14:22,609 --> 00:14:24,309 You're like a father to me. You're like a father to me. 359 00:14:24,377 --> 00:14:26,042 Well, climb aboard. OK. 360 00:14:26,110 --> 00:14:29,310 Now, I've set up a series of cones for you 361 00:14:29,378 --> 00:14:30,475 in the alley. 362 00:14:30,543 --> 00:14:33,144 You'll notice the degree of difficulty increases 363 00:14:33,212 --> 00:14:35,977 as you approach Queens Boulevard. 364 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:41,245 Godspeed! 365 00:14:46,448 --> 00:14:47,680 Hi. 366 00:14:47,748 --> 00:14:49,381 Hey, man. 367 00:14:49,449 --> 00:14:51,349 What are you doing? 368 00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:52,715 I'm reading a book. 369 00:14:55,483 --> 00:14:56,749 OK... 370 00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:00,684 you know what? 371 00:15:00,752 --> 00:15:02,250 Let me ask you something. 372 00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:07,084 Do you like our jobs here? 373 00:15:07,152 --> 00:15:08,885 I mean, are you proud of what you do? 374 00:15:08,953 --> 00:15:12,586 I drive boxes around Queens. 375 00:15:14,554 --> 00:15:16,486 I know, but when you do it well, 376 00:15:16,554 --> 00:15:18,788 do you think you're making some small difference 377 00:15:18,856 --> 00:15:20,454 in the world? 378 00:15:20,521 --> 00:15:23,821 I drive boxes... 379 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:26,289 around Queens. 380 00:15:26,356 --> 00:15:27,689 Then why are you here? 381 00:15:27,757 --> 00:15:29,056 What do you even do this for? 382 00:15:29,124 --> 00:15:30,556 Uh, paycheck, benefits, 383 00:15:30,624 --> 00:15:31,689 I don't know how to farm... 384 00:15:31,757 --> 00:15:34,590 I mean, what are you looking for, player? 385 00:15:34,658 --> 00:15:36,791 You know what? Forget it, man. Go back to your book. 386 00:15:41,893 --> 00:15:42,859 What? 387 00:15:42,927 --> 00:15:44,293 Oh, yeah, 388 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,326 little change in the schedule there. 389 00:15:46,394 --> 00:15:49,094 Uh, you... you gave Danny my route. 390 00:15:49,162 --> 00:15:51,693 Well, I gotta go with the hot hand, Doug. 391 00:15:51,761 --> 00:15:53,195 You just drive the trainee route 392 00:15:53,263 --> 00:15:54,396 a few more weeks, huh? 393 00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:56,762 And tell Palmer stop with the readin'. 394 00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,230 It's creepin' me out. 395 00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:03,731 Hey, you know, there are 2 unwritten rules at IPS. 396 00:16:03,799 --> 00:16:05,064 Eyes forward at the urinal, 397 00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,165 and you never steal another guy's route. 398 00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,731 And you broke 'em both. 399 00:16:09,966 --> 00:16:11,366 I didn't steal your route, OK? 400 00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:13,100 And at the urinal, again, 401 00:16:13,168 --> 00:16:15,166 I thought I saw a quarter next to your foot! 402 00:16:18,101 --> 00:16:19,968 You are so out of line on this! 403 00:16:20,035 --> 00:16:21,068 How am I out of line? 404 00:16:21,136 --> 00:16:22,700 Best drivers get the best routes. 405 00:16:22,769 --> 00:16:23,969 You taught me that. 406 00:16:24,036 --> 00:16:25,436 Oh... so now you think 407 00:16:25,503 --> 00:16:26,669 you're a better driver than me? 408 00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:28,836 Look, I don't want to fight, all right? 409 00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,770 I just want to have some of Mrs. Janowski's 410 00:16:30,838 --> 00:16:32,904 fresh-baked sugar cookies 411 00:16:32,972 --> 00:16:34,905 on my first day. 412 00:16:34,973 --> 00:16:37,004 That's it, man. 413 00:16:37,072 --> 00:16:39,505 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 414 00:16:39,573 --> 00:16:42,605 You two have a problem, you settle it the IPS way. 415 00:16:42,673 --> 00:16:46,106 Tonight, Old Dugan Road. 8:00 sharp. 416 00:16:46,174 --> 00:16:47,241 Oh, yeah! 417 00:16:47,309 --> 00:16:48,574 That's what I'm talking about. 418 00:16:48,642 --> 00:16:51,242 Uh, actually, I got an allergist thing at 7:30. 419 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,675 I might be a little late. 420 00:16:52,743 --> 00:16:57,376 All right. Tonight. Old Dugan Road. 8:00-ish! 421 00:17:17,381 --> 00:17:18,482 Hey, did you, uh... 422 00:17:18,549 --> 00:17:19,582 You soup me up under there? 423 00:17:19,649 --> 00:17:21,548 Oh, no. I couldn't figure out how. 424 00:17:21,616 --> 00:17:23,216 But you're good on wiper fluid. 425 00:17:24,383 --> 00:17:25,416 Good luck, brother. 426 00:17:35,185 --> 00:17:36,152 Doug. 427 00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:37,319 What are you doing here? 428 00:17:37,386 --> 00:17:38,320 I called the depot 429 00:17:38,387 --> 00:17:39,519 and they told me what was going on. 430 00:17:39,587 --> 00:17:41,420 Carrie, you're not stopping me. I'm doing this. 431 00:17:41,488 --> 00:17:42,587 I didn't come to stop you, OK? 432 00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:44,520 I just came to give you this. 433 00:17:46,221 --> 00:17:47,422 A packet of tartar sauce? 434 00:17:47,489 --> 00:17:48,954 Yeah. You brought it home 435 00:17:49,022 --> 00:17:50,721 from your first lunch break 436 00:17:50,789 --> 00:17:52,755 of your first day at IPS. 437 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,323 Remember back when you used to eat fish? 438 00:17:55,390 --> 00:17:58,923 Oh, yeah. Captain Eddie's tartar sauce. 439 00:17:58,991 --> 00:18:01,423 Yeah. You asked me to keep it because of the fortune on the back. Read it. 440 00:18:02,992 --> 00:18:06,758 "The most important thing in life is drive." 441 00:18:06,825 --> 00:18:09,060 Yeah. Remember you said it was like a sign 442 00:18:09,127 --> 00:18:10,693 that you were meant to do this? 443 00:18:10,761 --> 00:18:12,326 And, you know what? You were right, Doug. 444 00:18:12,328 --> 00:18:13,526 Your job is important. 445 00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:16,394 I'm just sorry I didn't see that sooner. 446 00:18:16,461 --> 00:18:18,162 Are those my isotoners? 447 00:18:18,229 --> 00:18:20,294 I couldn't find mine. 448 00:18:20,362 --> 00:18:22,795 OK, let's get going, guys. 449 00:18:22,863 --> 00:18:24,596 All right. Hey, good luck. Good luck. 450 00:18:24,663 --> 00:18:25,597 All right, now, listen. 451 00:18:25,663 --> 00:18:28,097 You kick that stumpy loser's ass! OK? 452 00:18:29,764 --> 00:18:30,698 Hi, Danny. 453 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,699 Go on the drop! 454 00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:09,119 Danny: No... no! 455 00:20:09,186 --> 00:20:10,487 Having some problems there, ace? 456 00:20:10,555 --> 00:20:11,954 No, no. I'm fine. 457 00:20:14,188 --> 00:20:15,789 You ain't gonna start it like that. 458 00:20:15,856 --> 00:20:17,354 I... I know what I'm doing. 459 00:20:17,456 --> 00:20:20,689 Stop pumping the gas! It's fuel injection. 460 00:20:20,756 --> 00:20:22,856 It floods if you pump it. You should know that! 461 00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:23,956 Stop yelling at me! 462 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,557 Well, you're doing it wrong. 463 00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:28,224 You're right. Damn it! 464 00:20:28,292 --> 00:20:31,658 Aw... I can't do this. 465 00:20:31,726 --> 00:20:33,225 You win. 466 00:20:33,293 --> 00:20:34,260 You're the better driver. 467 00:20:34,327 --> 00:20:35,859 You're always been the better driver. 468 00:20:35,926 --> 00:20:38,059 What are you talking about? You beat me at my own route. 469 00:20:38,127 --> 00:20:40,993 Aw, I cheated, OK? 470 00:20:41,061 --> 00:20:43,328 I started early and worked through lunch. 471 00:20:43,396 --> 00:20:45,494 I didn't even deliver all my packages. 472 00:20:45,562 --> 00:20:46,996 Your truck was empty when you brought it back. 473 00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:48,961 Yeah, well, my apartment's not. 474 00:20:49,028 --> 00:20:50,362 What?! 475 00:20:50,430 --> 00:20:51,796 It's just... 476 00:20:51,864 --> 00:20:54,197 you've always been better than me at everything. 477 00:20:54,264 --> 00:20:56,864 Just once I wanted to beat you at something. 478 00:20:56,931 --> 00:20:59,564 But I'm just a stupid loader, 479 00:20:59,632 --> 00:21:00,798 and that's all I'll ever be. 480 00:21:00,866 --> 00:21:03,299 Oh, stop your cryin', would you? 481 00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:06,665 You're a driver for the International Parcel Service! 482 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,333 Have some pride, man. 483 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,534 Now open the choke and put it in neutral. 484 00:21:11,601 --> 00:21:12,800 I can't. 485 00:21:12,868 --> 00:21:14,368 Do it! 486 00:21:16,502 --> 00:21:19,767 There. Now turn the ignition key, 487 00:21:19,835 --> 00:21:22,236 and just tap the accelerator. 488 00:21:23,371 --> 00:21:24,770 All right. 489 00:21:24,837 --> 00:21:26,804 Now put it in reverse. 490 00:21:26,872 --> 00:21:28,238 OK. 491 00:21:30,106 --> 00:21:31,138 Why'd I put it in reverse. 492 00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,238 'Cause now you're goin' backwards, friend. 493 00:21:42,142 --> 00:21:44,141 Arthur, look. I'm doing it! 494 00:21:44,209 --> 00:21:45,508 I'm doing it! 495 00:21:45,576 --> 00:21:47,341 Very good, honey. 34058