All language subtitles for The King of Queens - S05E12 - Jung Frankenstein (1080p x265 EDGE2020)-ing

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,962 --> 00:00:39,994 Morning, chief. 2 00:00:40,062 --> 00:00:40,995 Hey, Artie. 3 00:00:41,063 --> 00:00:42,263 Whoa. Whatcha makin' there? 4 00:00:42,331 --> 00:00:45,565 A stack of flapjacks? Batter pies? Griddle hoppers? 5 00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:47,700 Yes, or as we like to call them on this planet... 6 00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:48,733 Pancakes. 7 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,701 You, uh, you want some? 8 00:00:50,768 --> 00:00:53,703 No, thanks. Those things cork me up pretty good. 9 00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:56,104 Hey. 10 00:00:57,138 --> 00:00:58,639 Pancakes?! 11 00:00:58,707 --> 00:01:00,873 Yeah. Sausage, too? 12 00:01:00,941 --> 00:01:02,307 What... what happened to your diet? 13 00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:03,841 Uh, not sure, really. 14 00:01:03,908 --> 00:01:05,643 I think it got lost in the shuffle 15 00:01:05,711 --> 00:01:07,577 somewhere around Tuesday. 16 00:01:07,645 --> 00:01:10,678 Well, for God's sakes, eat a light lunch today, will you? 17 00:01:10,746 --> 00:01:12,179 What is the point of that? 18 00:01:12,248 --> 00:01:13,179 You can't resurrect a diet 19 00:01:13,248 --> 00:01:15,080 on a Friday afternoon. It's crazy. 20 00:01:15,148 --> 00:01:17,649 Just eat light, OK? 21 00:01:17,717 --> 00:01:19,850 The Finkels are taking us to a nice restaurant 22 00:01:19,917 --> 00:01:20,951 before the theater tonight. 23 00:01:21,018 --> 00:01:22,752 Finkels? The theater? 24 00:01:22,819 --> 00:01:24,453 What just happened here?! 25 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,321 I told you about this last week. 26 00:01:27,389 --> 00:01:30,022 Sandy Finkel works for one of the senior partners, 27 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,156 and she likes me, 28 00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:32,923 and it's good for me to have a friend upstairs. 29 00:01:32,991 --> 00:01:34,825 And for that I've got to sit through an entire play? 30 00:01:34,893 --> 00:01:35,992 What are we seeing anyway? 31 00:01:36,060 --> 00:01:37,426 The Iceman Cometh. 32 00:01:37,494 --> 00:01:38,427 What?! 33 00:01:38,495 --> 00:01:40,862 How do you even know you won't like it? 34 00:01:40,929 --> 00:01:44,130 Cometh, Carrie. Cometh! 35 00:01:48,766 --> 00:01:49,800 Hey, man. 36 00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:52,068 What have you got there, a salad? 37 00:01:52,135 --> 00:01:54,503 Yeah, I'm eating light. I got a dinner thing tonight. 38 00:01:54,571 --> 00:01:55,503 What's going on here? 39 00:01:55,571 --> 00:01:57,970 Egg-roll-eating contest. 40 00:02:01,873 --> 00:02:04,441 That's your seat, Mary. 41 00:02:09,845 --> 00:02:11,678 Actor: It's the best time of a man's life. 42 00:02:11,746 --> 00:02:13,313 Second actor: Great thing about you, Harry, 43 00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:14,847 how young you've stayed. 44 00:02:14,915 --> 00:02:16,515 Get my things from the laundry. 45 00:02:16,517 --> 00:02:17,848 They must still have 'em. 46 00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:32,657 What the hell is going on in there? 47 00:02:32,724 --> 00:02:34,124 I'm sorry. My stomach's a little upset. 48 00:02:34,192 --> 00:02:35,292 A little?! 49 00:02:35,358 --> 00:02:38,794 You're making this place smell like a refinery. 50 00:02:38,828 --> 00:02:41,195 The Finkels are staring. 51 00:02:41,263 --> 00:02:42,362 Look, I'm trying to burp towards you. 52 00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:43,697 Gee, thanks so much. 53 00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:45,998 OK, look, I had some not-great egg rolls for lunch, OK? 54 00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,699 I told you to eat light. 55 00:02:47,766 --> 00:02:49,065 How many did you have? 56 00:02:49,133 --> 00:02:50,100 16. 57 00:02:50,168 --> 00:02:51,267 16? 58 00:02:51,335 --> 00:02:52,768 It was a contest, OK? 59 00:02:52,835 --> 00:02:53,834 And I won by a landslide, 60 00:02:53,902 --> 00:02:56,836 not that you even care, OK? 61 00:03:01,007 --> 00:03:03,107 OK, you know what? Stop doing that. 62 00:03:03,174 --> 00:03:04,674 I... I can't help it. 63 00:03:04,742 --> 00:03:06,175 Help it. I can't, Carrie! 64 00:03:06,243 --> 00:03:08,010 I ate 5 pounds of deep-fried cabbage. 65 00:03:08,077 --> 00:03:09,477 My pants are too tight. 66 00:03:09,545 --> 00:03:11,478 I'm sitting in a hot, enclosed space. 67 00:03:11,546 --> 00:03:13,079 It's The Perfect Storm. 68 00:03:15,781 --> 00:03:17,649 Then just go home. 69 00:03:17,716 --> 00:03:18,882 Really? Yes. 70 00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:20,916 I will make an excuse for you. Just take the subway, 71 00:03:20,984 --> 00:03:22,417 and I will see you later. OK, I love you. 72 00:03:22,485 --> 00:03:23,618 Get lost. OK. 73 00:03:26,288 --> 00:03:27,988 Actor: Same applies to Harry himself 74 00:03:28,055 --> 00:03:30,155 and his 2 cronies at the bar. 75 00:03:30,223 --> 00:03:31,389 OK. 76 00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,727 Hello, darling. 77 00:03:40,795 --> 00:03:41,728 Hey, Daddy. 78 00:03:41,796 --> 00:03:43,429 Hey, sorry I had to bail tonight, 79 00:03:43,497 --> 00:03:45,663 but definitely the right move. 80 00:03:45,731 --> 00:03:50,867 Things got a lot worse on the subway. 81 00:03:50,935 --> 00:03:53,402 What is that? 82 00:03:53,469 --> 00:03:55,069 This? A Yodel. 83 00:03:55,137 --> 00:03:56,403 A Yodel. 84 00:03:56,471 --> 00:03:58,037 Yeah, a Yodel. 85 00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,938 Not to be confused with the very similar 86 00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:02,906 but far less satisfying Ho-Ho. 87 00:04:02,974 --> 00:04:04,740 So let me get this straight. 88 00:04:04,808 --> 00:04:06,409 You had to walk out on me tonight 89 00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:09,443 because you ate yourself into a burping stupor, 90 00:04:09,511 --> 00:04:13,912 and now you're stuffing your face full of chocolate-covered lard? 91 00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:15,880 It's not lard. It's cream, 92 00:04:15,948 --> 00:04:18,315 and it's gently coating my stomach. 93 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,650 You think this is funny? 94 00:04:20,684 --> 00:04:23,918 No. It's ironic. 95 00:04:24,019 --> 00:04:27,053 I mean I can't even get mad at you anymore, Doug! 96 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,655 You're just too pathetic! 97 00:04:28,723 --> 00:04:31,589 Until you get yourself some help, don't even talk to me. 98 00:04:31,657 --> 00:04:33,457 Get myself some help? What does that even mean? 99 00:04:33,525 --> 00:04:34,457 What does it mean? 100 00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,358 You need therapy, Doug. 101 00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:37,993 You need a trained professional 102 00:04:38,061 --> 00:04:40,128 to sit and talk with you and help you understand 103 00:04:40,195 --> 00:04:44,296 why you live your life like a raccoon in a Dumpster. 104 00:04:48,733 --> 00:04:50,966 How can you eat that after what she just said?! 105 00:04:51,035 --> 00:04:53,035 She's just upset, OK? 106 00:04:53,102 --> 00:04:54,668 I'm going back on my diet tomorrow. 107 00:04:54,736 --> 00:04:57,137 Oh, yes. "I'll fix everything tomorrow." 108 00:04:57,204 --> 00:05:00,305 The all too familiar refrain of the addict. 109 00:05:00,373 --> 00:05:02,073 Addict? Come on. No, I won't come on. 110 00:05:02,141 --> 00:05:03,773 You got a serious problem, young man, 111 00:05:03,841 --> 00:05:04,908 and you gotta face it. 112 00:05:09,078 --> 00:05:11,710 OK, I wasn't gonna eat it that time. 113 00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:12,711 Listen to me, Douglas. 114 00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:14,413 I know from whence I speak. 115 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,415 I've had the monkey on my back, too. 116 00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:21,583 That's right. Arthur Spooner was addicted. 117 00:05:21,651 --> 00:05:22,584 To what? 118 00:05:22,652 --> 00:05:23,851 Nasal spray. 119 00:05:23,919 --> 00:05:24,885 All right. 120 00:05:24,953 --> 00:05:26,353 I tell you, with that sweet stuff in me, 121 00:05:26,421 --> 00:05:29,422 I could breathe through my nose like I never dreamed possible! 122 00:05:30,556 --> 00:05:32,222 Fantastic feeling. 123 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:36,059 And I chased that feeling through 8 jobs and 2 marriages. 124 00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:38,659 If it wasn't for methadone, 125 00:05:38,727 --> 00:05:41,495 I'd be on it to this day. 126 00:05:45,598 --> 00:05:47,564 So, basically, this process involves 127 00:05:47,632 --> 00:05:50,699 taking a journey into your early childhood traumas 128 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,767 to discover and hopefully modify 129 00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:56,270 the unconscious desires that cause you to overeat. 130 00:05:56,337 --> 00:05:58,071 Right, right. 131 00:05:58,138 --> 00:06:01,439 And is this something that can be wrapped up today or... 132 00:06:02,608 --> 00:06:04,140 You were 15 minutes late, 133 00:06:04,275 --> 00:06:05,974 So probably not. 134 00:06:07,943 --> 00:06:08,976 Tha... Uh... 135 00:06:09,044 --> 00:06:10,510 I'm getting the impression 136 00:06:10,545 --> 00:06:13,011 that you... you don't have a lot of confidence in this process. 137 00:06:13,079 --> 00:06:15,346 It's just that, you know, I kind of think 138 00:06:15,414 --> 00:06:17,981 that if I ate less and hopped on a treadmill, 139 00:06:18,049 --> 00:06:19,816 it might help more than sitting here 140 00:06:19,884 --> 00:06:21,983 staring at a bowl full of Hershey Kisses. 141 00:06:22,051 --> 00:06:23,418 May I? 142 00:06:23,485 --> 00:06:25,319 Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to put those away. 143 00:06:25,387 --> 00:06:27,653 It's just my... my tax guy was here earlier, 144 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:31,022 and, well, he... he likes to have something sweet. 145 00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:38,560 Uh, Doug, 146 00:06:38,628 --> 00:06:40,895 when you eat those, 147 00:06:40,962 --> 00:06:42,929 can you tell me just... What are you feeling? 148 00:06:42,996 --> 00:06:44,195 To be honest, 149 00:06:44,263 --> 00:06:47,698 like they're a couple Halloweens past their prime. 150 00:06:49,099 --> 00:06:50,532 Um... 151 00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:53,668 but I was more wondering when... when you're... when you eat, 152 00:06:53,736 --> 00:06:56,570 how do you feel emotionally? 153 00:06:56,638 --> 00:06:59,337 Uh, do you think that you seek out food 154 00:06:59,405 --> 00:07:03,506 when you're angry, depressed, elated? 155 00:07:03,574 --> 00:07:04,273 Yes, I do. 156 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,841 Oh, which? 157 00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:07,609 Those, the ones you just said there. 158 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:12,044 But I would add to the list scared and bored. 159 00:07:12,113 --> 00:07:13,746 Scared and bored. 160 00:07:13,813 --> 00:07:15,279 And itchy. 161 00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,480 And itchy? 162 00:07:37,392 --> 00:07:38,959 No! 163 00:07:49,798 --> 00:07:51,498 So. Huh? Huh? Check it out. 164 00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:54,000 Another healthy breakfast? 165 00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:56,035 You're a madman. 166 00:07:56,102 --> 00:07:57,869 And watch this. 167 00:07:57,937 --> 00:08:01,370 I'm full, so now I'm gonna stop. 168 00:08:05,374 --> 00:08:07,041 You know, I've heard about people doing that, 169 00:08:07,108 --> 00:08:09,375 but I always thought it was just urban legend. 170 00:08:09,443 --> 00:08:11,210 Honey, I am really proud of you. 171 00:08:11,277 --> 00:08:12,977 So this therapy, it's working, huh? 172 00:08:13,045 --> 00:08:14,078 Oh, yeah. In fact, 173 00:08:14,146 --> 00:08:15,879 Dr. Wagner's got me keeping a food journal. 174 00:08:15,947 --> 00:08:17,880 Helps me connect my emotions to my eating. 175 00:08:17,948 --> 00:08:19,547 Yeah? May I? 176 00:08:19,614 --> 00:08:21,381 All right, but don't laugh, 177 00:08:21,449 --> 00:08:24,116 'cause some of it's a little fruity. 178 00:08:24,184 --> 00:08:26,384 Let's see here. 179 00:08:26,452 --> 00:08:28,819 Uh, "Thursday, 9:30 A.M." 180 00:08:28,887 --> 00:08:30,887 "Thinking of stopping for a cheesesteak. 181 00:08:30,955 --> 00:08:32,554 "Feeling depressed and humiliated 182 00:08:32,621 --> 00:08:35,723 because Supervisor O'Boyle called me a..." 183 00:08:35,790 --> 00:08:36,789 What's this? 184 00:08:36,858 --> 00:08:39,391 "Llama ass"? 185 00:08:39,459 --> 00:08:41,559 "Lame-ass." Ah! 186 00:08:41,626 --> 00:08:44,061 "A lame-ass in front of the other drivers, 187 00:08:44,128 --> 00:08:45,395 "but I'm not a lame-ass, 188 00:08:45,463 --> 00:08:47,596 and I don't need that cheesesteak." 189 00:08:47,664 --> 00:08:48,596 Good for you, baby. 190 00:08:48,664 --> 00:08:49,597 Thank you. 191 00:08:49,665 --> 00:08:51,899 "10:07 A.M.: Wanted a sausage calzone. 192 00:08:51,967 --> 00:08:53,766 Got one and ate it." 193 00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,336 That was just the first day. 194 00:08:58,403 --> 00:09:00,536 I didn't want to shock my system. 195 00:09:00,604 --> 00:09:01,670 I gotta tell you, honey. 196 00:09:01,738 --> 00:09:03,005 I mean, I've seen you diet before, 197 00:09:03,073 --> 00:09:05,006 but you've got a different look in your eye this time. 198 00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:07,341 Yeah. Yeah. This time it's the real deal. I can feel it. 199 00:09:07,408 --> 00:09:09,508 Just don't let me lose too much weight, 'cause... 200 00:09:09,576 --> 00:09:12,010 I don't have a thin-guy head. 201 00:09:12,078 --> 00:09:13,277 I'm on it. 202 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,775 This is it. 203 00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,009 This is where the magic happens. 204 00:10:12,077 --> 00:10:14,311 Oh, I am liking what I'm seeing. 205 00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:16,445 Actually, the magic happens in there. 206 00:10:16,513 --> 00:10:19,013 This is basically "the looney bull pen." 207 00:10:20,615 --> 00:10:21,781 Oh, hi, Doug. 208 00:10:21,848 --> 00:10:23,216 Hey, Dr. Wagner. This is my wife Carrie. 209 00:10:23,284 --> 00:10:24,216 Hi. Pleased to meet you. 210 00:10:24,284 --> 00:10:25,384 Oh, same here. 211 00:10:25,451 --> 00:10:27,552 Hey, we just went out to dinner, and guess what? 212 00:10:27,619 --> 00:10:29,219 She ate more than me. 213 00:10:29,287 --> 00:10:32,488 Yeah. I had a salad, half a sandwich, and an iced tea. 214 00:10:32,556 --> 00:10:33,988 Who is this guy? I don't know. 215 00:10:34,056 --> 00:10:34,989 I have no idea. 216 00:10:35,056 --> 00:10:36,490 So, you all set to... 217 00:10:36,558 --> 00:10:38,991 Yeah. I'm just gonna use the men's room. 218 00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:40,492 And then you go back to work on me. 219 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,159 This guy, I'm telling you, he's amazing. 220 00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:44,160 I wish... I wish I had more problems for him to fix. 221 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:45,161 I'll tell you that much. 222 00:10:50,532 --> 00:10:51,898 You've got a good man there. 223 00:10:51,966 --> 00:10:53,566 Yeah, good man. Question. 224 00:10:53,633 --> 00:10:55,433 Uh, do you have a sec? 225 00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:57,701 I... I suppose so. 226 00:10:57,768 --> 00:10:59,436 Oh, OK. 227 00:10:59,504 --> 00:11:05,239 Uh, what if Doug did have other problems to fix? 228 00:11:05,307 --> 00:11:07,974 Hypothetically, could you just kind of throw those in there 229 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,608 while you're talking about the weight thing? 230 00:11:09,675 --> 00:11:11,208 Uh, sure, of course. 231 00:11:11,276 --> 00:11:12,910 I mean, my job is to steer the ship 232 00:11:12,978 --> 00:11:14,544 wherever the patient needs it to go. 233 00:11:14,611 --> 00:11:17,545 Yeah, you know where you might want to steer things: 234 00:11:17,612 --> 00:11:20,313 Doug's TV problem. 235 00:11:20,382 --> 00:11:23,616 He watches it a lot, kinda got a zombie thing goin' on there. 236 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,617 Think you can spend some time with him on that? 237 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,050 Uh, I... I... I could, 238 00:11:27,118 --> 00:11:29,218 but Doug would have to bring it up. 239 00:11:29,286 --> 00:11:31,854 Ah, yes, I would never want you to push it there. 240 00:11:31,921 --> 00:11:33,488 You know, obviously, you know what you're doing. 241 00:11:33,555 --> 00:11:34,522 You're a very talented man. 242 00:11:34,590 --> 00:11:35,822 Oh. 243 00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:36,990 Thank you. 244 00:11:37,057 --> 00:11:38,791 Yeah, I mean it. I mean, it's like, obviously, 245 00:11:38,859 --> 00:11:39,891 y-y-you have, like, a gift 246 00:11:39,958 --> 00:11:40,958 for this kind of work. 247 00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,526 I just kind of took to it in med school. 248 00:11:42,594 --> 00:11:43,527 Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. 249 00:11:43,595 --> 00:11:45,294 Yes. 250 00:11:45,362 --> 00:11:46,529 Which is good, 'cause I could never memorize the names 251 00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:47,529 of all those bones. 252 00:11:47,597 --> 00:11:48,530 Oh, yeah? 253 00:11:48,598 --> 00:11:50,664 The names, they're so similar. 254 00:11:50,732 --> 00:11:51,998 Yes, they are similar! 255 00:11:52,065 --> 00:11:53,899 Yes! 256 00:11:53,966 --> 00:11:55,933 Anyway, whatever you can do about the TV thing, 257 00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:57,301 that would be great. 258 00:11:57,369 --> 00:12:00,636 Um, yeah, but you know, it's really up to Doug, though. 259 00:12:00,704 --> 00:12:03,170 Yeah, yeah, it's just that Doug might need a little... 260 00:12:03,238 --> 00:12:04,772 a little nudge, you know? 261 00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:07,339 Like just a little bitty little nudge. 262 00:12:07,408 --> 00:12:10,375 Well, I... I just don't... 263 00:12:10,443 --> 00:12:11,675 Are your eyes brown or hazel? 264 00:12:11,743 --> 00:12:13,143 I can't... Steel blue. 265 00:12:13,211 --> 00:12:15,278 Steel blue. Fantastic. 266 00:12:16,645 --> 00:12:18,713 My mother would make dinner for me every night, 267 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,414 but after she got that job at the community center, 268 00:12:21,482 --> 00:12:24,316 she stopped. 269 00:12:24,384 --> 00:12:26,350 I was only 7 years old. 270 00:12:26,418 --> 00:12:28,218 You must have felt somewhat abandoned. 271 00:12:28,286 --> 00:12:31,786 Yeah, exactly, I felt completely abandoned. 272 00:12:31,853 --> 00:12:33,520 I mean, she only worked every other Tuesday, 273 00:12:33,588 --> 00:12:36,189 but still, 274 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,023 longest month of my life. 275 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:46,861 So, uh, what did you do on those, uh, nights until she got home? 276 00:12:46,928 --> 00:12:49,329 I don't know. I watched TV or... 277 00:12:49,397 --> 00:12:54,166 Oh, God, I used to rip the head off my G.I. Joe doll 278 00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:56,333 and I'd stick it on top of a ketchup bottle 279 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,368 and make him bleed through the ears. 280 00:13:03,605 --> 00:13:05,272 It was awesome. 281 00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:10,909 Well, speaking of TV... 282 00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:16,711 Hey. 283 00:13:16,779 --> 00:13:18,046 Hey, baby. How was your session? 284 00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:19,546 Great. On my way home, 285 00:13:19,614 --> 00:13:20,579 I walked down Austin Street, 286 00:13:20,647 --> 00:13:23,081 or as I like to call it, doughnut alley, 287 00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:24,749 and I never broke stride. 288 00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:26,583 Oh, well, that's great! 289 00:13:28,452 --> 00:13:30,119 So you're probably really tired. 290 00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:33,887 You just want to relax and just watch some TV, huh? 291 00:13:38,958 --> 00:13:40,458 You know what? I don't think so. 292 00:13:40,525 --> 00:13:43,259 No TV? 293 00:13:43,327 --> 00:13:45,294 But you love TV, honey. 294 00:13:45,361 --> 00:13:47,194 Yeah, I love it too much. 295 00:13:47,262 --> 00:13:49,529 In fact, we talked about it in the last part of my session. 296 00:13:49,597 --> 00:13:52,097 About TV? Mm-hmm. 297 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,766 How odd. 298 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,700 You... you sure you don't want to watch TV? 299 00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:58,068 No. All right. 300 00:13:58,135 --> 00:14:01,002 You want to, uh, want to read a book? 301 00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:02,304 Whoa. 302 00:14:04,072 --> 00:14:06,005 Baby steps. 303 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,242 Hello. 304 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:13,743 I got some shampoo, 305 00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:18,745 2 packs of Juicy Fruit gum, uh, Playboy magazine, 306 00:14:18,812 --> 00:14:21,647 and a couple of these. 307 00:14:28,352 --> 00:14:30,818 Need a price check on Nostrin nasal decongestant, 308 00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:32,153 50 milliliters. 309 00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:34,654 That's all right. Just charge me whatever you want. 310 00:14:34,721 --> 00:14:37,223 Nostrin nasal spray. Can I get a price check, please? 311 00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:39,691 It's for a friend. 312 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:48,895 All right, baby. Have a good time. 313 00:14:48,962 --> 00:14:49,896 OK, I'll see you at home. 314 00:14:49,963 --> 00:14:51,764 OK. 315 00:14:51,831 --> 00:14:52,765 Psst! 316 00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,966 One sec. 317 00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:04,169 Uh, I-I-I'll be with you in just a moment. 318 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,170 OK. 319 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:09,072 Hi. I just wanted to say great job on the TV thing. 320 00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:11,641 You are like the Michael Jordan of psychotherapy. 321 00:15:11,709 --> 00:15:13,375 No, no, no. 322 00:15:13,443 --> 00:15:15,976 Karl Malone, maybe. 323 00:15:16,044 --> 00:15:19,178 It's just that now that Doug's watching a lot less TV, 324 00:15:19,246 --> 00:15:21,514 we're having a lot more sexual time, 325 00:15:21,581 --> 00:15:22,747 which is good, 326 00:15:22,815 --> 00:15:24,748 but it could be better. 327 00:15:26,117 --> 00:15:28,284 That's where you come in. 328 00:15:49,496 --> 00:15:50,429 Hey. 329 00:15:50,497 --> 00:15:52,430 Hey, Deac. 330 00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:53,564 What are you doing here? 331 00:15:53,631 --> 00:15:55,565 I'm taking Doug to his therapy session. 332 00:15:55,632 --> 00:15:57,433 You are? Mm-hmm. 333 00:15:57,501 --> 00:15:58,700 But... but I always do that. 334 00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,701 Uh, yeah, but we're going to the driving range after. 335 00:16:00,768 --> 00:16:01,969 See, now that he's dropped a few pounds, 336 00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:04,503 he can actually see the ball on the tee. 337 00:16:04,571 --> 00:16:08,172 Damn, but I really need to talk to his therapist. 338 00:16:09,373 --> 00:16:10,908 I need you to do me a favor. 339 00:16:10,975 --> 00:16:12,474 OK, uh, what's the favor? 340 00:16:12,543 --> 00:16:14,242 Give this to the guy, 341 00:16:14,309 --> 00:16:19,545 and whatever you do, do not let Doug see it. 342 00:16:19,613 --> 00:16:21,179 OK. What is it? 343 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:22,980 It's a recipe. 344 00:16:24,315 --> 00:16:26,015 For clam chowder. 345 00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:28,116 You don't have to read it, sweetie. 346 00:16:28,184 --> 00:16:29,250 It's normal stuff, you know, 347 00:16:29,317 --> 00:16:31,385 clams, potatoes. 348 00:16:31,452 --> 00:16:34,320 "Doug needs to be more spontaneous." 349 00:16:34,454 --> 00:16:36,788 Uh, "Less pouty." 350 00:16:36,855 --> 00:16:38,255 What is this? 351 00:16:39,324 --> 00:16:40,389 All right, it's... 352 00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:41,390 it's a list for his therapist, 353 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:42,790 things I want Doug to work on. 354 00:16:42,858 --> 00:16:44,092 I kinda do it to nudge his therapy 355 00:16:44,159 --> 00:16:45,192 in the right direction. 356 00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:46,393 And Doug doesn't know this? 357 00:16:46,461 --> 00:16:48,328 No! If he knew about it, he wouldn't go for it. 358 00:16:48,395 --> 00:16:51,029 I mean, he needs to think it's coming from the therapist. 359 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,663 Why? Is that a horrible thing to do? 360 00:16:58,167 --> 00:16:59,601 Hand me the pen. 361 00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:06,138 So, in the dream, this weird red object kept appearing, 362 00:17:06,205 --> 00:17:08,673 and I couldn't get away from it no matter what I did. 363 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:11,541 What do you think it was? 364 00:17:16,543 --> 00:17:17,744 Dr. Wagner? 365 00:17:17,812 --> 00:17:19,344 Huh? Huh? What? 366 00:17:19,412 --> 00:17:21,713 The weird red thing in my dream, 367 00:17:21,780 --> 00:17:23,179 what do you think it was? 368 00:17:23,247 --> 00:17:26,816 Oh, that. Clearly, that represents, uh... 369 00:17:26,884 --> 00:17:28,416 pizza? 370 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,485 But it was square. 371 00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:35,487 Chicago-style pizza in a pan. 372 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,087 You know, Doug, 373 00:17:37,155 --> 00:17:39,556 we're... we're running a little low on time here. 374 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:42,223 What do you say we shift the focus of the session 375 00:17:42,291 --> 00:17:44,859 to some other issues that you might want to deal with? 376 00:17:44,926 --> 00:17:47,293 Like maybe... 377 00:17:47,362 --> 00:17:48,894 a lack of spontaneity 378 00:17:48,962 --> 00:17:51,128 or poutiness. 379 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:53,096 Are you pouty, Doug? 380 00:17:53,164 --> 00:17:56,765 I really want to talk about the dream some more. 381 00:17:56,833 --> 00:17:59,533 Uh-huh. I really don't think there's much there, Doug. 382 00:17:59,568 --> 00:18:02,769 Um, why don't we focus more 383 00:18:02,837 --> 00:18:05,570 on paying your gambling debts 384 00:18:05,638 --> 00:18:10,039 or why you won't return your friend's Sting CD? 385 00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:13,842 Why... why do you keep looking at that paper for? 386 00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:16,109 Oh, this? Oh, this is nothing. 387 00:18:16,177 --> 00:18:17,677 I'm just... This is some notes I'm making 388 00:18:17,745 --> 00:18:20,812 for a journal article that I'm... 389 00:18:22,214 --> 00:18:24,114 lying to you about, Doug. 390 00:18:24,182 --> 00:18:26,481 I can't do this. I'm sorry. I just can't do this. 391 00:18:26,549 --> 00:18:27,715 What? 392 00:18:27,783 --> 00:18:30,150 You know what? Just... Would you tell your wife 393 00:18:30,218 --> 00:18:31,685 that I did not go to medical school for 6 years 394 00:18:31,752 --> 00:18:34,519 to be giving therapy off the back of a Visa bill, all right? 395 00:18:34,586 --> 00:18:37,154 Damn it, Doug, I've won awards. 396 00:18:38,789 --> 00:18:41,456 I think I need some time to myself. 397 00:18:43,826 --> 00:18:46,359 Hey, hey! So, am I getting my CD? 398 00:18:54,898 --> 00:18:57,132 I can't believe it was you. 399 00:18:57,199 --> 00:18:58,066 This whole time it was you 400 00:18:58,133 --> 00:18:59,166 who was trying to change me. 401 00:18:59,233 --> 00:19:01,334 I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to find out. 402 00:19:01,402 --> 00:19:02,668 Of course not. The puppet's not supposed to know 403 00:19:02,736 --> 00:19:05,903 there's a hand up his... puppet chute! 404 00:19:05,971 --> 00:19:07,137 All right, look. 405 00:19:07,205 --> 00:19:08,972 Maybe my methods were a little bit questionable, 406 00:19:09,039 --> 00:19:10,372 but I was only trying to help you. 407 00:19:10,439 --> 00:19:12,740 I just wanted to help you become a happier person. 408 00:19:12,808 --> 00:19:13,975 Really? Really? 409 00:19:14,042 --> 00:19:16,376 And how is not singing along with the car radio 410 00:19:16,443 --> 00:19:18,544 going to make me happier? 411 00:19:18,612 --> 00:19:19,811 That's one of his. 412 00:19:21,579 --> 00:19:24,981 You never know the damn words, man. 413 00:19:25,048 --> 00:19:26,581 OK, you know what? You can leave now. 414 00:19:26,649 --> 00:19:28,082 As soon as I get my CD. 415 00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:30,117 It's by the stereo, OK? 416 00:19:30,184 --> 00:19:32,885 The case is kind of cracked. 417 00:19:32,953 --> 00:19:35,286 I can't believe you. I mean, why'd you even marry me 418 00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:36,387 if you hate everything about me? 419 00:19:36,455 --> 00:19:37,587 I don't. 420 00:19:37,655 --> 00:19:39,621 Oh, please. 421 00:19:39,689 --> 00:19:41,489 You've been feeding this guy your complaints for a month. 422 00:19:41,557 --> 00:19:42,690 I should've just strapped 423 00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:43,790 a suggestion box to my ass, 424 00:19:43,859 --> 00:19:44,959 saved you the trip. 425 00:19:46,327 --> 00:19:48,193 Doug, when this whole thing started, 426 00:19:48,261 --> 00:19:51,329 my only agenda was that you stop overeating. 427 00:19:51,396 --> 00:19:53,029 I promise you. 428 00:19:53,097 --> 00:19:54,497 But then I thought, you know, 429 00:19:54,565 --> 00:19:57,331 as long as the car is in the shop... 430 00:19:57,399 --> 00:20:00,033 The car? The car? That's what I am to you? 431 00:20:00,101 --> 00:20:01,334 A car I love. 432 00:20:01,402 --> 00:20:04,202 The only car I ever want to drive. 433 00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:05,703 Look. 434 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:06,937 Why'd you have to talk to the shrink? 435 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,437 Why couldn't you just come to me? 436 00:20:08,505 --> 00:20:11,506 Because I don't know how to fix a car. 437 00:20:11,574 --> 00:20:12,874 You know? For your sake, 438 00:20:12,941 --> 00:20:15,508 I wanted to make sure that you were properly serviced. 439 00:20:17,110 --> 00:20:18,477 That's all? You just wanted to make sure 440 00:20:18,544 --> 00:20:21,544 I was properly... serviced? 441 00:20:21,612 --> 00:20:23,080 Exactly. 442 00:20:23,214 --> 00:20:25,982 OK, well, then I'll see you upstairs for a jiffy lube. 443 00:20:32,685 --> 00:20:35,453 Doug: And bring ice cream for after! 444 00:20:38,188 --> 00:20:39,988 Oh. Good night, darling. 445 00:20:40,056 --> 00:20:41,956 Good night, Dad. 446 00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:30,417 What have I become? 447 00:21:50,862 --> 00:21:53,629 Hey! What the devil do you think you're doing?! 448 00:21:53,696 --> 00:21:55,131 Buying nasal spray. 449 00:21:55,198 --> 00:21:57,132 Not if I have anything to say about it. 450 00:21:57,199 --> 00:21:59,133 But I have a cold. 451 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,499 Liar! 452 00:22:02,668 --> 00:22:04,668 I just saved your life! 31713

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.